A/N: Helloooooo everyone! A little bit later than I would have liked, but sometimes life gets in the way. How are we feeling? Did everyone enjoy S3 Part 2? I was sad that we got more fighting Polin than snuggly Polin. I hope they release the rumored deleted scenes, (if they exist).

As always, thank you so much for the reviews and saves! I appreciate everyone so much! please let me know how I did! this fight was longer than I had originally planned but it felt right.

All Too Well

As they glided across the ballroom floor, Penelope's expression turned to one of stunned disbelief. The music at length ceased with a resounding crash, and the neighboring couples exchanged bows, giving way to a lively hum of conversation.

Penelope could see Colin's expectant face, his gaze probing hers for a response, his expression suffused with satisfaction, as though he had vanquished their greatest dilemmas with ease. The air seemed to escape her lungs, compelling her to retreat from him, watching as bewilderment clouded his eyes.

Penelope felt her blood rushing in her ears and looked around quickly for a way out. In a fleeting moment, her gaze met Eloise's, who seemed unusually perturbed—her customary expression of irritation replaced by genuine concern.

"Penelope?" She managed to control her face, albeit just barely, yet Colin was not oblivious to the swift closure of her features."

"I just - I need a moment."

"Wha -"

But Penelope did not linger to hear more; she sought air and solitude. Somehow she navigated her way to the grand double oak doors and nearly stumbled outside, heedless of others around her. She wandered the corridors, following the familiar path that would eventually lead to the gardens. The surroundings seemed to press upon her, the dim walls towering and the flickering candle lit sconces stretching endlessly along the hallway. Penelope neared the garden doors when a voice called out behind her.

"Penelope!"

She closed her eyes, and willed herself to stay calm. Her patience was hanging by a thread and his presence was pushing her to the brink. Penelope felt like prey, being chased into a corner.

"I wish to be alone." She said, through a stiff smile, as she glanced behind her, willing him to realize she did not want him here.

"Regretfully, I cannot do that." He moved towards her, and finding no retreat from him, Penelope could avoid him no more. Colin continued to advance until she was backed up against the wall, Colin was close, she could feel every inch of him, even breathe that distinct scent of his that she had come to recognize. The way he looked at her mirrored the intensity he had shown in the park earlier in the week, but with a hint of uncertainty in his passion, which left her feeling both intrigued and unsettled.

"I meant it, Pen. Marry me." He gently caressed the soft curls of her hair, savoring their silkiness between his fingers, voice low and rough with an emotion she didn't dare name. His hand cupped her cheek,, a gesture that she had always yearned for. "Thoughts of you have incessantly filled my mind these past weeks, everywhere I go, my eyes seek you out, I feel as though I am being driven mad by this need to find you, to be near you." Penelope was taken aback by his words, her cheeks flushing warmly as he pressed on. Could she dare to entertain hope? He seemed sincere, earnest even.

"At first, I couldn't understand my feelings—I kept my distance. Then, you brought up marriage, your plans to marry by the end of the season. It troubled me deeply, but clarity struck this week. Seeing you with those gentlemen made me realize something profound. They could easily hold your hand, while I couldn't. It became clear to me—I desire you, Penelope and I did not see it until the others began to court you. " he confessed, pulling her closer. Their hands intertwined, his warmth enveloping her, his words revealing a newfound urgency. "You and I have always been close, understood each other. But now, I see what it truly means."

Penelope froze, comprehending the true importance of his words, becoming still in his arms. Colin seemed not to notice.

"You are mine," he said, gently lifting her chin to meet his gaze. However, Penelope's eyes veered away, evading his own. "You belong with me."

She felt as though a frigid wave had been dashed upon her, chilling her to the bone.

"When you saw me with the others?" She repeated, "You're doing this because they could hold my hand and you could not?" P enelope stepped back, out of his reach, not meeting his confused gaze.

"Colin, do not say things you do not mean." She wrapped her silver gloved hands around herself, shielding her midsection like armor. This was reality, she had been a fool to think it could be anything other than this.

"But I do mean it." His voice felt like a cruel glimmer of hope for her dying dreams, but she knew he was not for her, and with each fragmented moment he bestowed upon her, the illusion of possibility felt akin to a bitter joke .

"No, you do not. You have never noticed me until this season. Why on earth would you feel anything now ?" Now there was the beginning of the seeds of hurt and anger tingeing her words. He was taken aback, most women never asked for the source of their affection, they only swooned at the expression of it. At least that was what he had been taught.

Colin could only gesture helplessly, searching for an answer to her question, he was starting to see that events were unfolding quite contrary to his expectations. Penelope could feel a pain that was worse than rejection begin to take over her, like being roughly awakened from a pleasant dream, she felt adrift and betrayed with every moment it took for him to scramble for something to say.

"I - I do not know,I cannot -"

"We have been friends for years, and I have been on the marriage market for three of those. Do you truly expect me to believe that you have now developed sentiments for me?" Penelope shook her head, her disbelief now mingled with anger. "Mr. Bridgerton, the truth is plain: your regard is but a passing fancy, sparked only by the presence of other suitors."

"Penelope, you cannot tell me that I do not love you." The indignation in Colin's voice would have once cowed her to find a way to placate him, but Penelope was too hurt to even entertain the idea. "You do not know what is in my heart. Any moment that you spent in their presence felt truly painful to see. I could not bear it, seeing you on the arm of another." Penelope wrenched off the hair clip in her, the sensation of it becoming too much bear in the moment, her hair tangling as she held the offending piece in her palm. Colin had all but confirmed her fears.

"Had Lord Debling or any other gentleman not shown interest in me this season, could you honestly say the same? Would your sentiments have remained unchanged? You admitted it yourself—you felt nothing until you saw me pursued by another." Tears welled in her eyes, tracing paths down her fair cheeks. Colin moved to wipe them away, but Penelope evaded his touch, leaving his hand to fall awkwardly by his side.

"What you feel is nothing more than jealousy when someone's favorite plaything has been taken from them."

"Is that truly what you think of me?" He looked at her, hurt coloring his face in a way she had never seen before, not even when Marina's lies had been exposed.

"Have you given me reason to think differently?" She countered, as much as she wanted to be kind, Penelope had had enough. It was torture to continue loving him, and him proposing marriage on the basis of loving her now , when others had finally starting noticing her… she couldn't trust it. She was trapped here, in this nightmare. Doomed to love him and eternally waiting, hoping for him to love her in return and now that he had, all she could see was the eventuality of him snatching his love back. The sounds of the ball could be heard dimly in the background but it all felt so removed from them, so far from this hell.

Penelope did her best to collect herself, she had let her emotions get the better of her, she did not want to appear as though she were an obsessed woman, begging for love from a man who never promised her any such thing.

""We both understand what society deems as beauty, Mr. Bridgerton, and only a few months ago, you were resolute that you would not entertain thoughts of courting me even in your wildest imaginings." The pained expression he wore prompted Penelope to add with a touch of gentleness, "I do not speak to wound you, but only to illustrate a point. You do not love me."

The silence that descended between them was oppressive. Penelope could hear Colin's shallow breaths grow heavier as she tried to put some distance between them.

"You merely object to the idea of other suitors. You feel protective overYou fear losing a friend. But I cannot forever remain your friend, Colin. I always knew you would not love me, but I did not foresee you hindering my pursuit of happiness, my freedom!" Her voice rose slightly, though Penelope had tried her best to remain calm, but the truth of it was that this was how she felt. All her years of love, to be reduced to this, to a changed wardrobe and the attentions of other men? That was all she needed?

"When have I ever given you that impression? That I do not care? That I do not desire your freedom?" He snapped back, now there was true anger in voice, insulted at the insinuation of his intentions.

"You are doing it now! You have never shown concern for me or my prospects until this moment! The only change from the past two years to today is that finally, there is a man willing to court me!"

Colin laughed bitterly, shaking his head dismissively, missing the way Penelope stiffened at the rejection of it.

"Who? Debling? That man cannot possibly be your choice. He is too particular, too... he will abandon you, Pen! Have you considered that? He is leaving!"

"Do you think I am unaware? I am not blind! He has spoken plainly of his travels and interests! He seeks only a wife, and I can fulfill that role!" Penelope hissed, combing a hand through her curls, her pale face flushing red with ire.

"You can fulfill that?" Colin retorted incredulously. "And you would be satisfied with that? Happy? Without love? Without affection?" The look in his eyes dared her to respond, he knew better than anyone what a woman would dream of, his mother had taught him and all his siblings to understand this well.

"He does hold affection for me," she said, her eyes now brimming with heated tears. This was not how this night was supposed to go, she thought bitterly. "Not all are as blessed as your Bridgertons. Not all may weave passionate tales of love. Some must find solace in security, and if we are lucky, friendship, duty and understanding"

Colin could not refute her. He stared at her, her face contorted in emotion, chest heaving from the toll their argument was taking on her. Tears streaked down the pale cheeks , her eyes red.

"What did you imagine would ensue? You proposed on a whim, my dear friend." The words stung deeper than she had ever anticipated, though she was the one saying them. " That is how I know you do not love me. If you did, you would not throw those words out so carelessly in the middle of a dance, with no regard for me or the proper manner of things."

Penelope walked past him, heading back towards the ballroom. After a few paces, she halted and spoke without facing him. It presented an unusual scene, one she had never envisioned even in her most fanciful daydreams. Both stood there in the moon's gentle glow, in each other's company yet further apart than ever before.

"I will pretend none of this happened. You are a precious friend and I do not wish to lose your friendship."

She practically ran down the rest of the way of the corridor, coming up short when she ran into Eloise around the corner. For a moment, all they could do was stare at each other. It seemed as though Eloise wanted to say something, her hand almost reached out, but Penelope happened to glance back at Colin, revealing her tear soaked face, he could not take his eyes off her. Eloise heard Penelope muffle a faint cry. She pushed by Eloise, wiping her eyes and ran out to the carriages, leaving both Bridgerton siblings standing in the dark.

"What did you do?"