Sven's words are still ringing in my ears as I peel my uniform off and crawl into bed. I know he's right, damn the Viking bastard, but as I pull the covers up, I realize . . . I don't want him to be. I don't want Keith to come out of this some kind of victim. He's always gotten whatever the hell he wants handed to him on a damned platter, with no consequences. Like commanding the team. It should have gone to me, or even Sven. Either of us, hands down, is better in the field, better at strategy and tactics on the fly. But . . . Keith had the better grades. Looked better on paper, never questioned anyone in authority while Sven and I practically minored in rebellion. So he was handed an elite mission that any one of us would have KILLED for, and manages to pull it off only because he has us backing him up. Somehow, that last thought pulls me up short, makes me realize who the actual asshole is here. Keith's never ASKED for any of this shit. He would have been perfectly happy staying on Earth; I even remember him saying he wanted to teach. But the old men decided he needed to be their poster boy, so he took it without complaint. He didn't ask for a princess to throw herself at him, all starry-eyed, but he's taken it with as much grace as he could. And in return for all that, he's gotten a rash of shit from me, who's supposed to be his best friend. I see major groveling in my future, when and if I ever see his ass again. But not too much. Still pissed at him for this whole "going to find Black" bullshit. THAT is totally on him.
You'd think I wouldn't be able to sleep with all that in my head; you'd be wrong. One of the first things the Academy teaches is how to shut down and sleep when and wherever you get the chance; three years of 24/7 on call here honed that to a fine art in all of us. So I'm out almost as soon as I get under the blankets, able to relax like I never can on Earth. It was a long flight out, on top of a longer day in class, so I don't wake up right away when my door slides open and a figure steals into my room. But boy, do I wake up fast when they sit on my bed. I'm sitting up with my blaster in my hand before I realize. . . "Holy HELLS, Allura." I set the gun down carefully, and reach for my lamp. "Sweetheart, what's wrong? You scared the life out of me."
She looks down at her hands in her lap, then up at me through her lashes. "I. . . I had a nightmare," she says, so softly I can barely hear her. "Please. . . could I sleep with you?"
Oh my GODS. . . Ally, if you knew what that question MEANS on Earth. . .what it does to me every time you ask it. . . but I know you don't. "Good thing Nanny retired," I manage, proud my voice doesn't betray the effect she has on me. "She'd kill us both. C'mon, get in here." I really, really shouldn't . . . for SO many reasons, but . . . I lift the blankets, and my breath catches again as Allura snuggles up to me, all innocence. Do you know how very hard it is—pun intended—to suddenly have the girl you love and lust after in your bed, obliviously pressing her curves up against you as she gets comfortable? And wonderful curves they are, too; soft and warm, smelling of sugar cookies, mixed with the apple of her shampoo. HellFIRES, where's a robeast when you want one? I'd even take Nanny barging in!
She finally settles, resting her head on my pounding heart, and I freeze even more as a long, bare, leg makes itself known between mine. "I never think to ask, when you come home," she says softly, and I force myself to focus. "Find a lady to steal your heart on Earth yet?" She's playing idly with my dog tags as she talks, the backs of her fingers brushing against my chest.
Who is this, and what did she do with Allura? "Now how could I possibly do that?" I ask her lightly, kissing her forehead. "My heart's here on Arus, waiting for you to realize it's not Kogane that loves you." Sweet holy HELLS. Please, please tell me I did NOT say that out loud. Or at least that she didn't hear me.
She looks up at me, eyes wide, and I know I'm doomed. "Is it really? You never said. . ." Her hand flattens over my heart, and I wonder what she's thinking.
"How could I?" I ask quietly, putting my hand over hers. "Sugar, from the minute we set foot in this Castle, you've only had eyes for Keith. Had it all set in your mind that he was going to be your white knight, your Prince Charming. I knew I didn't stand a chance against your fairy tale, and I wasn't about to break your heart with the truth, even if I thought you'd believe me." I pull back enough to be able to see her face. "What brought all this on, huh? You've done a complete 180 from where you were when I got in."
She's so cute when she blushes. "I . . . I got to thinking about you, and about Keith. About how Keith might be the one to swoop in and save the day, rescue me when I need it, but . . . you're the one who holds me, you're the one who drops everything and rushes to listen to my silliness over your best friend. And I talked to Romelle. . . she helped me see that what I thought for Keith wasn't real, wasn't about the real man." Those green eyes have me spellbound. "I want to love you, Lance . . . and want to be yours. Tonight. I know you. .. you think about that, want that."
I gape at her a good five minutes before my brain engages again. My body is all over what she wants, but. . . "No, Allura. Not tonight. I won't be a poor second choice, not in this." The hurt and confusion in her eyes absolutely KILLS me, but. . . "Listen to me, huh?" I cup her cheek in one hand, leaning my forehead against hers. "You're right; I love you and want you more than anything. But you need to be sure you're not doing this just to forget Keith. I need you to do that. Last thing either of us needs is for usto get messed up." She nods slowly, and I smile. "Good. I do love you, Allura. I just don't want to rush." I move to kiss her lightly, and . . . she attacks me, for want of a better term. Laces her fingers through my hair, lays a kiss on me that sends my blood pressure into orbit. I can't help myself; I pull her tight against me and return it with every bit of the passion I've buried for three years.
We finally have to come up for air, and she gives me a sultry look like I've never seen on her. I didn't even know Allura could do sultry. "As I said . . . I want to be yours. And I know you want that, badly. I'm not trying to replace Keith, I want you, Lance." Her fingers brush against the front of my pajama pants, strained to their limit by my aching hard-on, and it's all I can do not to come right then and there. "Please?"
Goddamnit, this is a bad idea. I even know how many different ways it's a bad idea. If I had any damned sense, I'd say no, make her go back to her own bed right now. But sense isn't something I have a lot of, and my body's telling me I'm not running this show now. "All right, Princess," I answer softly, brushing her hair back with a shaky hand. Damn, I've never in my LIFE wanted someone so bad. "I promise I'll take care of you, promise I'll be gentle, but . . . I won't lie to you, it's going to hurt."
"I know," she answers just as softly, hand coming to cover mine. "I trust you, Lance."
I take a breath, leaning in for a sweet slow kiss. "Then let's get you out of this ridiculous nightgown, sugar." My fingers slide down her sides to where her gown has bunched around her hips; she lifts her arms to help me remove the thing, her green eyes never leaving mine. My breath catches as I see her for the first time, all soft white skin and golden curls. Her breasts beg to be touched, and I don't argue, reaching to cup and knead them. She whimpers at my touch, and I groan in answer, rocking my hips against her in spite of myself. "You're gorgeous," I whisper against the skin of her neck, lightly kissing and nipping my way down the graceful curve, letting my tongue trace her collarbone, then closing my lips around the sweet nipple of one of those wonderful breasts.
"Oh! Lance!" is my gasped reward, her hands clutching and pulling at my hair as her body arches against mine. I just grin, teasing my prize with my tongue and teeth before swapping to give the other treasure equal treatment. Allura moans, her hands sliding down to wander my chest, then exploring my abs. Gods, she feels good. . . my hands grip her ass, pulling her closer, grinding my hips against hers, rubbing my cock against her mound through my pajama pants. . .and before I realize what I'm doing, I cream my shorts like I'm fucking 15 years old again.
"GodsDAMNIT!" I pull away from her, flopping back against my pillow in disgust. Guess that's what happens, you go to have sex for the first time in three years with someone that's not your right hand.
"Lance?" A gentle hand on my arm, and I open my eyes to meet Allura's worried green ones. "Are you all right? Did I do something wrong?"
"Good gods, no, sugar." I prop on one elbow and kiss her gently. "You were—and are—absolutely amazing." I feel a blush heat my cheeks. "It. . . it's just been a long time since I was with a girl, and I kinda lost my control. Doesn't usually happen to guys my age, it's kinda embarrassing." A thought occurs to me, and I grin wickedly at her. "But. . . now that it HAS happened. . . .it'll be a lot easier for me to love you all freaking night. Just let me clean up real quick." She nods uncertainly and I slip out of bed, heading for my bathroom.
Five minutes in the shower, and Mrs. McClain's little boy is a LOT happier. . .and thinking a bit clearer. I haven't changed my mind, not by a long damned shot, but. . .I HAVE thought of a problem that may stop this party before it gets started good. Mindful of how. . .innocent Allura is, I wrap a towel around my hips before coming back to bed and wrapping Allura in my arms. "Sweetheart, I don't know if we can do this. I. . .I don't have protection, and the last thing either of us needs right now is a baby."
She blushes and looks away from me, suddenly shy again, twisting her hands in the sheet. "N-no, we don't. . . but. .. it's OK. Keith and Coran. . . they made me g-get an implant when L-Lotor started stalking me. J-just in case. . ."
I pull her into my arms, kissing her gently. "Ssh. . . we aren't going to talk about him. Good to know. . . now, where was I? Oh, here!" She squeaks as I slip down her body, then giggles as I taste her breasts again. Her hands wander my chest and back, then before I know it, she pulls my towel away and things get real serious real fast. I'm not gonna kiss and tell, but. . . what Allura doesn't have in experience, she damn sure makes up in enthusiasm. By the time we got to the main event, she had me begging. And it hurt her, like I warned her it would, but. . .I was gentle as I've ever known how to be, took it as slow as I could without killing myself, and. . .I'll be honest and say I've had better sex, because I have, but. . .I've never felt as loved as I do now, falling asleep and spent, a little blonde curled up in my arms. I kiss her softly, smiling as she burrows into my chest. "Gods, I love you, 'Lura. That was. . . amazing. Sleep now; I'll see you in the morning." She mumbles something, already asleep, and it doesn't take me long to join her.
I wake the next morning with the sun in my face, which means it's pretty near afternoon, actually. Allura's still asleep, and I ease out of bed to attend to the necessary when a soft voice near the door freezes me in my tracks. "God morgen, min bror. Looks like ve need to haf a talk, ja?"