Episode One: We Only See Each Other At Weddings And Funerals

Part Two.

I don't own the Umbrella Academy.

It was a bit awkward, for some reason, lying on her old bed. Perhaps it was because she hadn't slept in it for a decade. She stared up at the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts, a fond smile crossing her lips as she remembered the first-ever mission the seven of them had pulled off...

Three skipped up to one of the armed robbers, looking completely fearless even in the face of possible death as the man snapped into his walkie talkie, "Hey, get them behind the counter! Now you've put me in a position where I gotta do something I don't want to do. Hmm? Shit!" He finally caught sight of Three and said, "Hey, get back with the others."

"I heard a rumor," Three said innocently, although she was anything but innocent.

"What? What did you say?"

A smile found its way to her lips as she cupped her mouth and said, her voice almost echoing, "I heard a rumor that you shot your friend in the foot."

His eyes glazed over, and then he glanced down at the gun in his hand before cocking it and pointing it at the other robber.

"Hey, dude," the friend said. "What the hell?"

And then the robber fired. The friend screamed in pain, collapsing onto the ground, firing a round from his own gun while the hostages began screaming. The robber's trance immediately broke after fulfilling his task, and he stared down in disbelief at his hand, as if he couldn't believe he had just done that. But the damage had been done. And the sound of gunshots had been One's cue.

A few seconds later, the blond boy had dropped down from the roof and punched one of the robbers once before literally throwing him from the bank, the robber's screams echoing throughout the building. One looked very pleased with himself, and that throw had been Two's cue.

The other boy ran into the bank, unsheathing his weapons, exclaiming, "Guns are for sissies. Real men throw knives!"

As soon as he finished the last word, he flung the knives right at the robber in front of Three, but then, as if the knives had changed their minds, they turned to their left in midair and sunk themselves into the next robber's chest, having been thrown with such force that they slammed the man into the wall, leaving a small trail of blood on the wall.

That was Four's cue.

Four came into view, joined by Three and Two, looking up at the robber who was standing on the counter almost tauntingly. The robber, however, didn't share in their fearlessness. He pointed a shaky gun at them, occasionally switching between the three kids, as if trying to figure out which one to shoot.

"Get back, you freaks," he spat.

"Hey, be careful up there, buddy," Two said, his voice full of mirth.

"Get back now!"

"Wouldn't want you to get hurt," Three taunted.

"Or what?" Five asked, suddenly appearing behind the robber's back.

He disappeared right as the robber shot the desk he had been sitting on a quarter of a second beforehand. The robber apparently had no brains, because he shot the desk a few more times, as if that would do something. One was entirely unimpressed, only raising an arm to cover his face to avoid the splintering wood flying everywhere.

Five reappeared behind the robber, his arms crossed, and the robber seemed to sense him because he spun around, immediately attempting to shoot him again, except Five had replaced his gun with a stapler, and the man could only click the stapler uselessly at him. It seemed like he still hadn't grown any brains in the last few seconds, because he just stupidly clicked the stapler a few more times at Five, as if he was hoping that his gun would just suddenly reappear.

Five, on the other hand, just looked highly amused. "Ooh! That's one badass stapler!"

And then he grabbed the robber's hand and smashed the stapler into said robber's head.

What the other children had failed to notice, however, was the last robber pointing a trembling gun at Five. Even if the robber was quite sure he would probably die before the bullet made contact, and he was slightly reluctant to shoot a kid, he still squeezed the trigger.

Time seemed to slow down... because time did slow down. For one member of the Umbrella Academy, at least.

Seven skipped into view, looking entirely unimpressed at the whole situation. She glanced at the bullet that was slowly streaking toward Five, and then, with a casual motion, she flicked the bullet away with her index finger, out of the way of Five, before she turned back to the robber and unfroze time again.

It seemed like everybody coughed, doubling over, slightly out of wind by that time freeze, and Seven used that opportunity to punch the robber as hard as she could in the jaw, slamming his head into the wall. It was satisfying, sure, but her hand did not seem to agree.

She stumbled back, hissing, shaking out her bleeding and bruised knuckles, demanding the groaning man who seemed completely out of it, "What's your face made out of? Stone?"

There was the familiar sound of Five's spatial jumps, and then gentle hands were carefully touching her own. Five tsked twice at the sight as he examined her injuries, and when he accidentally ran his fingers over her split knuckles, a hiss of pain escaped her lips, to which he immediately withdrew his hand.

"We'll get Grace to clean that up," he promised. "You have to stop injuring yourself, Seven."

"Don't I get a thank you for saving your life?" she asked, but she was just teasing. "That bullet would've probably hurt."

"Thankyou," he said exasperatedly. "Is that good enough?"

A small smile spread over Seven's face, and she nodded. "To you, a thank you is almost unheard of, so yes, I suppose that's good enough."

Five only rolled his eyes, but he wrapped an arm around Seven, almost protectively, although the girl didn't notice. She only leaned into him as he guided the two back to their siblings, just in time to see blood staining almost everything inside the vault and... was that a bloody handprint? Seven decided that she didn't have to know, because she wasn't entirely sure if she wanted to.

The door opened, and Six stumbled out of the room, covered from head to toe in blood, and said in a trembling voice, "Can we go home now?

It was then Seven realized something. "Hey, where did all the hostages go?"

"They left a couple minutes ago," Four said, frowning. "Did you not see...?"

"I was too busy saving your lives, so no," she said sarcastically. "God, does nobody in this family do thank yous anymore? Except for Five, obviously," she added quickly when the other boy shot her a pointed look.

Ever the leader, One said, "Come on."

And he dragged the seven of them out of the bank to greet the reporters. They lined in just as they had practiced doing, and Seven's fingers twitched when Five's fingers left her own. She found herself wishing for the warmth of his hand again. He had given her a reassuring smile, and although she had returned it, she felt almost... cold. The smile was far too forced.

"Who are you?" one of the reporters called, and One raised his hand in greeting, although he didn't say anything. They had been explicitly instructed to not say anything.

"How did you get in the bank?" another shouted.

"What happened inside?"

Without meaning to, she glanced over at Five. Four was leaning on Five, his elbow propped up on Five's shoulder, the both of them casting wide grins at the crowd, clearly pleased at what they had just done. They all looked quite presentable... except for Six, who was still covered in blood, and was glancing down at the concrete steps miserably, as if he hated his life. Seven took Six's hand in hers for a second and squeezed it in reassurance. She wasn't sure if it helped, but at least she was doing something.

She suddenly remembered her father telling them that he and Eight were going to be watching from the rooftop of another building, and she scanned all the nearby buildings until she made out the faint trace of a girl on top of a particularly tall one. With a slight grin, she waved at Eight, and, if she squinted, she could see Eight waving back. She hoped that made Eight feel better. She had always thought it unfair that Eight had to stay behind whenever the rest of the kids did something. Eight could've learned how to fight, at the very least.

The cameras were flashing wildly in their direction, and Seven subconsciously tugged down her skirt, although she was sure it didn't do anything. If she embarrassed their father on live television, she was sure she was going to get punished, and she didn't want to risk it. She managed a brave smile for the crowd as their father appeared in front of them.

Finally.

When he appeared, that meant their formation changed, and that also meant that she was standing next to Five again. Without thinking, she immediately laced their fingers together, because he could make her feel better almost immediately. He didn't protest, only clasping his hand in hers tightly, as if silently promising her that everything was going to be alright. He didn't seem to care that there were so many cameras flashing in their faces, and that reporters were bound to get a photo of them holding hands.

"Our world is changing," their father said as the cameras clicked madly away. "Has changed. There are some among us gifted with abilities far beyond the ordinary. I have adopted seven such children. I give you the inaugural class of the Umbrella Academy."

And then he stepped away, letting the cameras snap away at the children, but Seven was frowning. Surely he had accidentally just made a mistake? Surely he had meant to say eight children, not seven? Her heart dropped slightly. He didn't have to include Eight in everything if he didn't want to, but he didn't have to exclude her from everything, did he?

"Mr. Hargreeves! Mr. Hargreeves!" one reporter shouted. "Channel 9 News. What happened to their parents?"

"They were suitably compensated."

"Are you concerned about the welfare of the children?" another asked.

"Of course," he said quickly, and Seven had to hold back a scoff.

As if he had ever cared about their welfare.

"As I am for the fate of the world," he continued.

That had been one of the few times Percy had ever been truly afraid. Because what if she had been slower by a second? If she had frozen up and couldn't stop time... well, in time? Five would've been dead, that was what would've happened. If she hadn't frozen time at the second she had, the bullet would've killed him. And she wasn't sure if she would ever be able to live with herself if she had failed. She would've been the reason Five had died.

Her fingers brushed over her knuckles absentmindedly, remembering the way Five had gently held her hand, making sure that she was alright. He had kept his promise after the mission, staying with her while Grace patched up her hand, even letting her squeeze his fingers pale and purple when Grace had begun dabbing alcohol onto the wound. She remembered how much he had cared about her, and that made her miss him more than she ever thought possible.

Then, almost as if in a trance, she made her way to her desk, where she carefully opened her drawer and pushed aside random folders and binders until she found the sketch she had shoved aside all those years. A soft sigh of relief escaped her lips as she studied the drawing. She remembered the day well: Five had—after making sure everybody was asleep—spatial-jumped into her room because she had promised to listen to his newest discovery. She would never admit it, but she loved the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he was truly passionate about, the way he could sound so excited about something he found interesting. So, one day, without even knowing what she was doing, she had done a quick sketch of one of those times. Her drawing skills then hadn't been phenomenal, but she thought she caught Five's wide grin well enough, along with the spark in his eyes.

Her fingers trailed over the paper as she whispered, "I miss you," and then laughed hollowly.

God, if only he could see her now. She had been reduced to talking to a piece of paper as if he would respond back. Did that count as talking to herself? Was she going insane? Percy decided that if she was losing her mind, then she must've started years before. And then another tear dripped down her cheek. She hadn't realized how emotional being back at the Academy would make her, and now that she had spent far too much of her time bawling over the same boy, she found it slightly ridiculous. How many times would she have to cry over Five, over the same exact things? How many more times must she cry about his disappearance? She knew coming back had been a bad idea. Why had she ever convinced herself to do it?

Percy hated crying more than anything. It wasn't like it was because she thought she was above it, or she thought it disgusting, or anything. No, in fact, all the Hargreeves children hated crying, and it had nothing to do with the fact that they thought they were too tough for it. It was because their father had seen crying as a sign of weakness—any child caught crying would be severely punished and lectured. Of course, they had all thought he was bluffing in the beginning, but after far too many traumatic experiences and injuries, they had all learned the new rule: no crying.

Of course, now with their father dead, they could cry all they wanted, but it was hard, unlearning everything from childhood. She just tended to avoid crying as much as possible... which was never a good idea, because she would usually unleash all her emotions on a poor soul who had slightly annoyed her because she had been bottling them up for weeks or months; years maybe, even. She never knew when something was going to make her lose her temper, and she had to admit, it was slightly terrifying, not knowing what could set you off next.

Of course, she hadn't been like that when she was younger. So much more lighthearted, so much warmer. She had been all sunshine and rainbows, her laughter filling the halls, grinning almost all the time. Her siblings used to call her the light of the Academy. And then Five disappeared, and she became moodier, colder, more shut out from the world, but she had still tried to be as light as she could, knowing that her siblings were going to hard times too. She had tried to be there for them.

But then Ben died, and that had been the final straw. She completely cracked. Because it hadn't been fair. Ben was so sweet, so kind, and he had been killed because a mission went wrong. Life wasn't fair, and Percy couldn't deal with it much longer. How could it just take so much and not feel any sort of regret? How could it take and take and somehow just keep taking? Because of the original eight children than Sir Reginald Hargreeves had adopted, only six remained.

She remembered when Ben had confessed to her that when he grew up, all he wanted to be was become a doctor. He had spent his entire life literally tearing people apart, and he wanted to spend the rest of his life putting people back together, and giving them life again. She remembered hugging him and telling him that he could achieve anything he wanted because he deserved it. Another bitter laugh bubbled from her lips. He had just been accepted into med school when he had died.

Percy had loved too much, had cared too much, and all she had gained was pain. She had learned that emotions brought nothing but misery. And to some, perhaps, it didn't. To some, it may have brought them happiness beyond measure. But to Percy, all it gave her was one dead, and another possibly dead, brother. And that was when she had decided that she had had enough of caring. She had enough of loving, of becoming close with someone else. She didn't want to feel any more pain.

And yet, she did. She did anyway, because she saw just how miserable all her siblings' lives were, and she felt utter pain from that. Because she thought it so unfair that Luther had been sent to the Moon, by himself, for four years; that Diego had to work in a gym just to have a place to sleep; that Allison had always thought it normal to manipulate people into getting what she wanted until everything blew up in her face and now she was losing everything, that she had an entire life based on her powers; that Klaus suffered so much trauma in his childhood he turned to drugs and alcohol to escape; and that Vanya, even three decades later, was still shunned by her own siblings. Because, in her eyes, the Hargreeves children deserved the world after everything they had gone through, and yet, the world didn't seem to think they deserved anything.

It wasn't like Percy lived a life of luxury either. She still looked thirteen—it was hard trying to find employment as a thirteen year old—and she supposed it was her fault for slowing time down on herself, but it wasn't like she had anyone else to practice on. Long ago, she would've practiced on criminals, but she had long ceased using her powers on anybody not herself. Because she had wondered, if she used her powers on a criminal, did that make her any better than them? Because she had been told she was a hero, that she would grow up saving lives, but she was beginning to wonder if they had been the villains of their stories after all. Because they had murdered so brutally, so much. How could they still call themselves heroes?

She took a long look around her room, wondering if there was anything she should take back to her place. She had to admit—she was scrambling for money. Keeping an eye on Klaus was much harder than she had expected, and she spent almost all of the money she did have bailing him out of whatever he got himself into. She and Allison always quietly paid everything he needed without ever telling him, even if Percy didn't keep in contact with her older (technically not) sister. It was an unspoken rule between the two of them. Because, despite the fact that they had all left and made lives for themselves, they still cared for each other.

And then a very familiar song suddenly floated its way into her room.

"Children behave, that's what they say when we're together, and watch how you play, they don't understand and so we're running just as fast as we can, holdin' on to one another's hand, tryin' to get away into the night, and then you put your arms around me, and we tumble to the ground and then you say, I think we're alone now..."

And then a real smile slowly spread over her face as she remembered the day they had chosen the record...

They had been eleven. It was one of the few times when their father had allowed them to leave the house with strict instructions to return by sunset, and they had all promised, shuddering to think of what he would do to them if they didn't. Of course, since they had no clothes other than their pajamas and their uniforms, she remembered the gasping and pointing of people when they walked down the streets in their masks (or more like strutted in some of their cases), and she had felt so uncomfortable, because although she knew that they had risen to fame, she hadn't signed up to be gawked at. Even as the others basked in the attention, Percy had hated it.

And somehow, Five had noticed her shifting and attempts to hide her face with her hair—although it was useless, and now that Percy looked back on it, she wasn't sure why she ever thought it would work—and he took her hand, squeezing it slightly, giving her a small, reassuring smile. She managed to give him one back, shuffling slightly closer to him, as if he was going to protect her from the world—and in a way, she thought he was. And with his hand in hers, she felt a little braver, a little more confident, and she stopped trying to hide behind her hair.

Luther and Diego (or One and Two, they had been called then) had argued about which stores they had wanted to go into until Allison (but she hadn't been Allison then) put a stop to their bickering by suggesting that they go into the record shop which had just been a few buildings down from where they had been standing. They agreed, and everybody seemed happy enough, but Percy's heart had dropped, along with her smile. She remembered back when Luther and Diego had been the best of friends, closer than any of the others. And then they had found out what the ranking system meant and their relationship had all but crumbled.

Five must've noticed her mood deteriorate, because he squeezed her hand again, and, when they entered the store, he hadn't left her side or let go of her hand once. A soft laugh escaped her lips. She remembered when one of her siblings would make kissy noises at the two of them when they saw their clasped hands, but Five would hiss at them and then they would turn around and mind their own business. And it had taken close to an hour, with all of her siblings squabbling over what record they wanted to buy (because they had only brought enough money to buy one), and nearly ended in a fist fight between Luther and Diego that Klaus had been cheering on before Allison, ever the peacemaker, had put an end to it by declaring that they would buy whatever song she wanted and if they disagreed, she would rumor them into liking it.

They had all shut up after that, but Luther, wanting to save at least the shreds of his dignity, had demanded that he be the one to keep the record. In order to get back on time, because the sun was already beginning to set, the other siblings had hurriedly agreed, all but threw the money at the cashier, and ran back to the Academy as fast as they could.

Except for Five and Percy.

While the rest had taken off running, Five reminded Percy that he could spatial-jump them back to the Academy when they needed to, and it wouldn't even take a second, and told her that they could stay for however long she wanted to. Percy had readily taken him up on his offer, because she wasn't sure when the next time they would be allowed out was, and the two of them wandered out into the streets. And then before they knew it, it was raining and Percy wasn't exactly sure what had happened, but suddenly, Five was pulling her along by her hand, and the two of them were laughing. They were drenched from head to toe, their clothes dripping with water and their hair plastered to their faces, but when Five had turned back to smile at her, his eyes bright with laughter, she had never thought he looked more handsome.

It was in that moment that Percy had realized she was hopelessly in love with Five Hargreeves, although she wasn't sure when she had actually fallen in love with him. Perhaps years before, even.

"There doesn't seem to be anyone around, I think we're alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound, look at the way, we gotta hide what we're doin', cause what would they say, if they ever knew and so we're, running just as fast as we can, holdin' on to one another's hand, tryin' to get away into the night, and then you put your arms around me, and we tumble to the ground and then you say, I think we're alone now..."

And Percy didn't know what she was doing, but she was suddenly on her feet, and she was dancing in her room, laughing slightly and spinning around, nearly crashing into about a hundred things, but she didn't really care, because it felt so good, just letting everything go for once and just having fun.

She remembered the first time Luther had played the song in their house. It had been a little startling to hear music all of a sudden—especially music that wasn't classical—but then they had all begun to enjoy it slightly. Percy had been working on a new drawing, but soon, she found herself tapping her feet to the rhythm, even bopping slightly to the beat, finding that she was enjoying it immensely.

And then Five had spatial-jumped into her room and nearly scared her to death.

She had nearly stabbed him in the face with her pencil until he had managed to spatial-jump away and convince her that he wasn't there to murder her, and she had relaxed, but still whisper-yelled at him for scaring her like that. He had apologized, but then the glint in his eyes came back and he held out his hands, asking her if she wanted to dance with him.

She laughed quietly, remembering how she had just stared at his hand, stunned, trying to process what he was saying, and he had quickly retracted it, stumbling over his words when he tried to explain that he was just making a suggestion when she somehow got her senses back, grabbed his hand, and told him that she would love to. The relieved smile she had gotten back made everything worth it. And they had never learned how to dance—the closest thing might've been their hand-to-hand combat training—and the dance was so awkward (just thinking about it now made Percy laugh), but it had been the best dance she had ever had.

They had basically just held each other and swayed to the beat, occasionally stepping on each other's toes and laughing it off whenever they did (because no pain was worse than training's) and generally just making a fool of themselves in front of the other, but in that moment, they hadn't cared. And when Five had smiled at her, his green eyes shining with mirth and happiness, that was the second time Percy had admitted to herself that she was in love with him.

She would admit that she loved him a hundred times now, to him, if it meant that he would come back to them.

And even though she knew that it was a hopeless wish, she whispered to nothing, "I love you, Five Hargreeves. I love you."

"There doesn't seem to be anyone around, I think we're alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound, I think we're alone now, there doesn't seem to be anyone around, I think we're alone now, the beating of our hearts is the only sound..."

And then something happened.

The sky, which, a few moments ago, had been cloudless and sunny, was now a churning storm of clouds and lighting... but it wasn't like any sort of thunderstorm Percy had ever seen before. She rushed to the window, staring out with wide eyes, not even noticing that the music had suddenly shut off. The light was blue, the clouds were blue, it was like someone had accidentally dropped blue paint all over the place. And then there was a rattling in her room. She turned and immediately yelped, ducking as the knife she had been gifted by Diego flew over her head, missing her by an inch, and impaled itself into the wall behind her.

She ran for the door, wrenched it open, and nearly smashed face first into Klaus, who had been running down the hallway. He was clutching the urn, for reasons unknown to Percy, although she could make a good guess as to why. They both ducked as something else flew over their heads, nearly murdering them on the spot.

"What's happening?" he shouted over the noise.

"I don't know!" Something suddenly caught her attention. "Wait, everybody else is leaving the house! Come on, Klaus!"

They hurtled down the stairs, taking two, three at a time, nearly slipping and breaking their nose about six or seven times, but then Klaus stopped in his tracks so suddenly that Percy didn't even notice. Instead, she barrelled out the door and nearly smashed her face into Luther's back, just barely managing to stop herself.

"Yeah. no shit," Diego said as Percy stumbled backwards.

Her eyes snapped up and locked onto... whatever the thing was, and suddenly, she found herself wishing that she had never come back. It was some sort of magical portal-looking thing, maybe something out of her magic books, blue light rippling over the whole thing, lighting crackling on its edges. And there was an image rippling in the center, something that looked a bit like... trees? But there was something familiar about the entire thing, something that she couldn't quite put her finger on...

"Looks like some sort of temporal anomaly," Luther said loudy. "Either that or a miniature black hole. One of the two."

"Pretty big difference there, Paul Bunyan," Diego snipped back.

Before Percy could chide them on arguing now of all times, Klaus's voice rang out from behind them, shouting, "Out of the way!"

"What are you—" Percy demanded, but there was no need to continue.

Klaus pointed the fire extinguisher he had snatched—that was why he had stopped when Percy hadn't noticed—right at the thing, and immediately began to spray the thing. It did absolutely nothing, and when Klaus finally figured that out, he flung the whole thing into the light, and it (it being the fire extinguisher) immediately disappeared. So it had been a portal, and Percy found herself wishing that they might not have to ever figure out where it led.

"What is that gonna do?" Allison demanded.

"I don't know," Klaus yelled back in exasperation, throwing up his hands. "Do you have a better idea?"

And then there was a second burst of energy, and the crack of electricity grew stronger for a second. Klaus immediately backed up as Luther said, "Whoa, whoa, whoa. Everybody get behind me."

"Yeah, get behind us," Diego cut in.

"I vote for running, c'mon!" Klaus shouted, but when he saw that none of his siblings were doing as he had said, he sighed in exapseration, but he stayed put.

Percy's eyes were locked onto the thing, her entire attention on it, and she was concentrating so much on it that she didn't even notice Luther and Allison holding hands next to her. And then she stumbled backwards in shock when someoneappeared in the middle of the thing. And there was something wrong with them—every second, they would switch from an old man to a young boy, although Percy couldn't get a good look on them. They looked like they were struggling to get through, and her siblings too were just staring, stunned.

And then the person—now a boy—somehow managed to get through, and the light disappeared and he fell about ten feet and hit the floor. Percy winced slightly. If he hadn't had any training, then that would've hurt like a bitch. The thunder and blue light faded. The sky returned to normal. The Hargreeves siblings stepped forward in curiosity as the boy raised himself to his arms. And then he looked up, and Percy's heart stopped.

"Does anyone else see little Number Five, or is that just me?" Klaus asked.

If Percy's brain was working, she would've realized that it was Klaus subtly asking if Five was dead, but it wasn't. All she could do was stare at the boy in... she wasn't sure what she was feeling. Horror? Disbelief? Shock? Maybe not even any of them.

Five gave them all confused looks before he looked back down at himself, and then back up at them again.

"Shit."

"Percy?" Klaus said, not taking his eyes off Five. "Are you...?"

He trailed off when the five siblings turned around and saw Percy Hargreeves sprinting away, flying through the Academy's doors with a loud bang, and echoing sobs ringing in all of their ears.

Dramatic. My personal favorite way to end... well, anything.

You guys may have noticed, but I've changed some canon things in this book, which I'll list out chapter by chapter as they appear. In this chapter, instead of becoming famous at the age of thirteen (the bank robbery scene) it actually happened when they were TEN. My reasons will be explained later, but just thought you guys might wanna keep this in mind.

This does NOT mean that Five is ten in the current setting, though. He's still thirteen. This just means that all the kids were off doing hero-ing business for THREE years before he accidentally screwed himself over.

Also, I know that some of you may be wondering why Percy is Seven when she joined... well, seven years after Vanya did. Originally, Vanya was seven, yes, but because Reginald wanted to pretend Vanya didn't exist, he couldn't exactly introduce seven children and have one of them be called "Eight". That would lead to people questioning about Number Seven or questioning his math skills, so he decided to save himself the pain and just call Percy "Seven," and Vanya to "Eight".