Episode One: We Only See Each Other At Weddings And Funerals

Part Three.

I don't own the Umbrella Academy.

For about the millionth time that day, Percy found herself crying over the same boy she had been crying over for the last hour, because god, couldn't life have just given her a break for once?

She knew it was probably wrong for her to have run like that—she had left all of her siblings gaping at her—but she couldn't stay. She couldn't. Because everything hurt so much and she wasn't sure why but when she saw Five again, it was like someone had decided to tear her heart out and crush it right in front of her. She had blindly hurtled up the stairs, tears blurring her vision, ignoring her siblings calls after her as sobs racked her shoulders, and had somehow made it to her room—she had slammed the door behind her, locked it, and fell against it, sliding down to the ground, weeping. Distantly, she knew that a locked door wouldn't do anything if Five decided he wanted to come into her room—his entire gift was teleportation, after all—but she wasn't thinking clearly.

There was a quiet knock on her door, but she didn't bother responding. She just wrapped her arms around her knees and drew them closer to herself, knowing that her ass was probably out (she hadn't bothered to change out of that monstrosity of a "dress" Allison had given her) but she reasoned to herself that there was nobody to see her. Still, she decided to lower her knees to the ground because it felt a little weird.

"Percy?" Five called hesitantly.

The name sounded almost wrong from him. He had never called her Percy before. He had never learned her name was Percy. She supposed that their siblings must've filled him in on their new names.

"Percy, I..." He paused. "Please, can we... talk?"

She didn't answer, but she reached up and slowly unlocked the door. She didn't get up from her position, though. She just wanted him to know that she was listening, but she wasn't ready to talk just yet. And she knew that Five knew her well enough to know what that gesture meant.

"I... I didn't mean to leave." His voice cracked slightly. "I went through time... and I couldn't get back. I didn't want to leave. Percy... I'm so sorry."

"I thought you were dead." Her voice sounded dull, even to herself. "We all thought you were dead. Do you know how many hours I spent crying over you? Days? Weeks? Even I don't know, Five."

"I know. And I'm sorry."

But what else could he say? Five didn't make excuses. He rarely did. He always took responsibility for whatever he did.

The door slowly opened, and Percy stood behind it, sniffling and wiping furiously at her tears, but Five immediately took her hands in his and pulled her into a hug. She was getting her tears all over his oversized suit, her hands resting against his chest, but he didn't seem to care. In fact, he seemed to tighten his hold around her, as if almost afraid he would lose her again.

He didn't say anything, but he didn't need to. He just rested his chin on top of her head as she placed her head on his chest, closing her eyes. He held her until she managed to stop sniffling and sobbing, her breath coming out in trembles instead, but it was better than crying her eyes out, in her opinion. And as the initial shock wore off, she had to admit—she couldn't believe that he was actually here, that she was actually able to touch him, that she was able to see him.

"You're not just my imagination, are you?" she whispered, finally breaking the silence.

And then Five's chest was shaking because he was laughing and god, he had forgotten how much he missed her. "No, I'm not. Although I'm not sure if that's the answer you wanted to hear."

"If you ever do something like that again, I'm going to kill you myself, understand?" she mumbled into his button-up. "And I don't care if you can teleport, I'm gonna find a way to do it."

But he understood the implied message. She had forgiven him. And it was a lot faster than he would've thought, but he didn't question it. He just hugged her tighter, afraid that if he let go, she would disappear. Besides, he had waited forty-five years, give or take, to be able to hold her again.

She pulled away and studied him.

"You look thirteen," she said softly, and it was true.

Like her, Five looked like he hadn't aged a day. The suit he was wearing looked ridiculous on him—she wasn't sure why he was wearing a suit that looked three sizes too big—but other than that, he looked exactly the same. The same boyish features, the same green eyes, the same dark hair. But there was something about his eyes... well, she supposed his eyes weren't the same, then. They were older, wearier, as if he had seen all the destruction possible on the Earth. As if he had lived a thousand lives, had seen so many deaths, had witnessed entire empires collapse.

He looked older, and somehow the same. And there was something about him, like the air around him, the way he carried himself, perhaps, that was different. And she was suddenly struck by the thought that Five must not have been thirteen, no matter what he looked like. Because he wasn't like the thirteen-year-old Five she remembered. This was someone older, someone different... and yet the same Five she knew all those years ago.

"You look thirteen," was his reply. "How?"

"Time," she answered quietly, "is so easy to change."

Because it was, to her. Just like how Five's ability with time was limited to only time-travel, Percy's ability with time was limited to only being able to slow it down or speed it up. And it had always sounded simple enough, but Percy had soon realized that it was not as easy as it sounded. Using it on a mass scale quickly exhausted her—that was one of the reasons as to why she and Five had started eating their respective sandwiches. It was an easy way to quickly fill up on fuel.

"You used it on yourself?"

She nodded.

She understood his surprise. Unless their power was meant to be used on themselves—like with Five's or with Ben's—they never did. Allison never rumored herself the same way Diego would never throw a knife that he meant to hit himself, and it was true: when she had lived in the academy, Percy had never stopped or sped up time on herself. Well, their father had always told her that there was no point in using it on herself—not when there were plenty of criminals to practice on.

When Percy finally left the Academy, she had promised herself she wouldn't use her powers like that ever again. Use it over someone who couldn't fight back. Because as the years went on, she began to understand just how terrifying it must've been to suddenly have time slow down around you. And even if she had only used her powers on criminals... well, she would be just as much of a monster as them if she continued doing what she did. She finally understood that. Because their father may have been trying to raise them to be heroes, but she wasn't sure if they really were.

Five didn't push it. Instead, after a few seconds, he said, "Nice dress."

And Percy's face began to burn as she remembered that the article of clothing she wore was probably showing her entire ass to the world. Hastily, she grabbed the ends of the thing and pulled it down as far as it could go, but it barely brushed the top of her thighs. God, she really needed to change, but they still hadn't done the stupid funeral yet.

"Shut up," she muttered, her face still bright red.

"It's cute," he told her. "Very badass."

Great, she thought, because her face was now on fire, but for a very different reason. She tried to hide her blush, clearing her throat and stepping away from him.

"We should go," she murmured. "Besides, you haven't had a peanut-butter-and-marshmallow sandwich since the day you left, have you? Still think nutella's the best, though."

Five only gave her a smile before he took her hand and led her down the halls, and toward the kitchen. Percy wasn't exactly sure what she was feeling—her emotions were a bit of a mess at the moment—but she could identify one: absolute joy. Because Five was here, he had hugged her, he was holding her hand, and he was real. She couldn't stop the stupid smile that found its way onto her face.

For a second, she felt as though they were just children again, running through the halls, once again thirteen years old, and Five was pulling her along to show her something new he had discovered. They had been so clueless then, of the horrors and the misery that life would throw them. They had just been kids, full of happiness and hope, and when they thought of the future, they thought of only a beautiful future full of laughter and light.

They had been so wrong.

The moment passed, and Percy remembered that they weren't children anymore (at least, mentally, in her and Five's cases). The entire house was cold and dark, for nothing truly living lived here anymore. The laughter had been replaced with a cool breeze that stirred the papers scattered around the house, and made her shiver slightly. She was absolutely freezing. She really should've brought a jacket.

Five noticed, though.

"Cold?" he asked.

She shrugged. "A bit. But nothing's worse than training."

He unlatched their hands for a brief second, just to take off his blazer, and draped it around her protesting form.

"Just take it," he told her.

So she reluctantly slid her arms through the still-warm sleeves and took Five's hand again. She did have to admit—the jacket helped a lot. Not only against the cold, but because the blazer, like when Five was wearing it, was far too big, but it was a lot longer than her dress. Besides, she was shorter than Five, which meant that the jacket was bigger on her. It hung right above her knees, making her feel a lot less naked than she had a few moments prior.

"Thank you," she murmured.

He didn't respond for a few moments. "You're welcome."

She almost asked him all the questions that were swirling through her head—where have you been? Why do you still look thirteen? How long have you been gone?—but she managed to stop herself. She knew that the rest of their siblings would undoubtedly want to hear the answer as well, and it would be better for all of them if she asked while they were together. Besides, there was a tense air about Five, as if he was anxious about something, and was in a hurry, and she didn't want to bother him by making him explain everything twice. She could hold in her questions for another few minutes.

Five's grip on her hand tightened, snapping her out of her thoughts, and she looked down at their intertwined hands in slight surprise, just realizing that they were still holding hands. It felt almost natural at that point—whenever they were near each other, their hands somehow always found the other's. It didn't matter what they were doing—whether it be in the streets, during a mission, or just running through the Academy's halls—but Five hadn't been around for the last seventeen years. She didn't think that he still had that habit anymore.

But it wasn't like she was complaining. Like him (although she had no idea he felt the same way), she was afraid to let go of his hand again, because they both felt as though if they let go, the other would suddenly vanish. And Percy and Five had both been separated for seventeen and forty-five years, respectively. They didn't think they could bear to be away from the other for another second.

If Percy and Five noticed their siblings' raised eyebrows at their laced fingers, they didn't say anything. Percy went to pull up a chair, almost unlinking their fingers, but Five grabbed ahold of her fingertips, almost desperately, and pulled her back toward him, making her stumble a bit and their sibling's raised eyebrows raise even higher. They didn't say anything, though. They didn't need to. They could all see the way Five looked at her, the way he changed when he was around her. Besides, about half of them had had to listen to Five ramble about Percy for hours when they were younger. They hadn't even known there was so much to notice about a person, but Five could find something interesting about the way Percy breathed.

And they all thought that it was so stupid as to how the two, despite being clever about everything else, were so cluelessabout their feelings for the other.

Five grabbed the cutting board, placing it down on the table while asking, "What's the date? The exact date."

"The twenty-fourth," Vanya said.

"Of what?"

"March."

Five nodded slightly. "Good."

"So, are we gonna talk about what just happened?" Luther asked.

Five ignored him, instead opting to open up the bag of bread, with Percy's help, as he still refused to let go of her hand. She had to admit—their habits were a little ridiculous—but she didn't want to let go either. He lay the bread down on the board as their siblings glanced at each other, also wondering what was going on.

It seemed as though Luther had had enough of being ignored, because he rose and pressed on, "It's been seventeen years."

Five scoffed, finally looking up at him. "It's been a lot longer than that."

He pushed past Luther, pulling Percy along with him, and reached up to grab the bag of marshmallows that Percy honestly had no idea was still there. Did marshmallows go bad quickly? If they did, who was stocking up on them? None of the Hargreeves children ever visited, and they had been the only ones who liked marshmallows. Maybe it was Pogo, Percy decided. Maybe he was the one stocking up on them. Why he would need marshmallows, she had no idea, because as far as she knew, he didn't even like them.

The rest of her siblings stared at the two of them (or more specifically, at Five) for that confusing explanation, but Percy slowly began to understand. Half of Five's power was involved with time, and Percy knew all too well just how tricky time was with things. It had been seventeen years for them, perhaps, but it hadn't been seventeen years for Five, she concluded. It must've been a lot longer than seventeen years... as he had said. Though that still didn't answer her question of how he still looked thirteen.

"Where'd you go?" Diego asked.

"The future," Five answered, opening the bag of marshmallows. "It's shit, by the way."

"Called it!" Klaus said, raising a finger and looking around at the rest of them, gaining a small snort from Percy.

Her mood, as her siblings had noticed, had improved exponentially now that Five was back... if you could ignore the fact that she ran away crying the first time she saw him again. She didn't notice the way Five glanced at her when he heard her laugh, the way his eyes softened and the smile that was slowly creeping its way onto his lips. Of course she didn't notice. She had never noticed.

"I should've listened to the old man," Five continued, striding toward the fridge for the peanut butter. "You know, jumping through space is one thing, jumping through time is a toss of the dice." He set the jar down, glanced up, looked like he was contemplating what to say, before he said to Klaus, "Nice dress."

"Oh, well, danke!" Klaus said, glancing down at his skirt.

"Wait, how did you get back?" Vanya asked.

Five paused, as if trying to decide what answer was best, before he settled for saying, "In the end, I had to project my consciousness forward into a suspended quantum state version of myself that exists across every possible instance of time."

Percy blinked at the explanation, slowly processing the words before they finally registered in her head and she sort ofunderstood what he was saying. But what she was mostly surprised about was the fact that what he was saying literally just confirmed so many theories about multiple worlds, because that was what Five was saying, right? He was slipping from dimensions to dimensions, travelling through wormholes. Or she was completely wrong and that was not what Five was saying at all and she was just guessing.

Knowing Five, he had probably just given them the most simple of explanations. Nothing Five ever did was simple—his powers were anything but simple—and travelling through time like that was considered complex, even for his powers. There were probably more to the entire explanation, but considering the fact that time was her and Five's specialty, there was no point in telling any more to their siblings. If even Percy didn't really understand what Five was saying, then the rest of their siblings probably didn't understand anything he had said.

Sure enough, after a brief pause, Diego said for all of them, "That makes no sense."

"Well, it would if you were smarter."

Diego shot up, but Luther did too, his hand flying out, stopping the man from murdering their brother on the spot, and asked, "How long were you there?"

"Forty-five years." Five waggled his eyebrows. "Give or take."

Diego and Luther sat back down as everybody, including Percy, stared at Five in surprise. Forty-five years? Her heart clenched. God, she couldn't imagine being away from everybody that she knew for forty five years. How far ahead into the future did he even go, anyway? It must've been over seventeen years, or else she was sure she would've bumped into him. Forty-five years... she wondered if he had another life there. Met another girl. Her heart suddenly felt heavy. Of course he could date whoever he wanted. It wasn't like they were, at any rate. It was perfectly alright for him to have fallen in love with someone in the future.

And yet, why did she still feel like someone had just torn her heart out and crushed it in front of her... for the second time that day?

None of them noticed the way her expression changed as Luther asked in disbelief, "So what are you saying? That you're fifty-eight?"

"No, my consciousness is fifty-eight," Five said, as if he was speaking to a three-year-old. "Apparently, my body is now thirteen again."

"Wait, how does that even work?" Vanya asked, just as confused as the rest of them, although Percy sort of understood... again. If he had been dimension-hopping, then it was because in this dimension, he had never actually aged past thirteen. That was why he had returned in that body. Of course, everything was just complete guesswork.

Five didn't answer, instead choosing to say, "Delores kept saying the equations were off. Eh." He took a bite of his sandwich. "Bet she's laughing now."

And without even thinking, Percy pulled her hand away from Five's as the new information slowly began to sink in. Sure, she had guessed that Five might've met someone else in the future, but having him actually say that aloud... well, it hurt her more than she would've liked to admit. Because she had just admitted to herself an hour before that she was still in love with the stupid bastard and now he was saying that he met someone else? She almost wanted to cry again, but she stopped herself. She really had to stop crying over Five. It was affecting her street cred.

Was Delores prettier than her? she found herself wondering. Funnier? Smarter? She tried to imagine the kind of girl Five would fall in love with. Five valued intelligence over almost everything... and while Percy was cleverer than most of her siblings... well, she supposed it wasn't too hard to be. Delores must've been a genius, then. Sarcastic. Able to keep up with his witty jokes. Better than Percy in every way. And then she realized that she was comparing herself to a girl that she had never even met. She couldn't just start making random assumptions about Delores without ever having met her. What if Delores turned out to be incredibly sweet and kind? Percy wouldn't be able to hate her then.

God, if only Percy wasn't still in love with Five. Her entire life would've been so much easier. Definitely less tears. Less pain. But then she wondered if she really wanted that. If she really wanted to stop loving Five. Because sure, her life might've been so much easier... but did she want that?

And the answer was no. Because perhaps loving Five had brought her more pain than she ever could've imagined, but she wouldn't want to live a life where she didn't love him either.

Their hands suddenly felt cold now that they weren't intertwined anymore, and because Percy turned away, she didn't see the hurt look in Five's eyes when he glanced back at her. She wasn't sure if she could look at him without crying again. Just how pathetic was she?

Their siblings clearly sensed the tension between them because Vanya asked, trying to break the silence, "Delores?"

"Hmm." Five turned to the newspaper on the kitchen table, trying to act as if nothing was wrong, although they could all see through his act. "Guess I missed the funeral."

"How'd you know about that?" Luther asked, almost accusingly.

"What part of the future do you not understand?" Five snapped back, his mood clearly much more foul than it had been just a few moments prior. He glanced back at the paper. "Heart failure, huh?"

"Yeah," Diego said, just as Luther said:

"No."

The other siblings glanced at them almost in exasperation before turning back to Five, who said, "Hmm." He clicked his tongue. "Nice to see nothing's changed."

Taking his sandwich, he strode out of the room, pausing for a few seconds to glance at Percy, who didn't meet his eye. Then he left, Allison calling from behind him, "Uh, that's it? That's all you have to say?"

"What else is there to say?" he called back. "The circle of life."

Percy bit her lip, pushing herself off the table where she had been leaning against, while Luther said, "Well... that was interesting."

"Percy, what was that?" Vanya asked. "You just—"

"Who was Delores?" her voice came out as a whisper. "He wouldn't answer you, Vanya."

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Whoever Delores is, she's the one that has competition, not you." He fell back. "God, I still remember being subjected to the torture of having Five go on and on about everything you did for hours." He sat back up, squinting at her reddening face. "Did you know it was possible for someone to talk about how someone else smiled for half an hour like it was the most fascinating thing in the world? Because I did not until Five proved me wrong. God, he's an absolute slut for you and I am astounded at the fact that you have not figured that out yet."

"He did not," she protested weakly, but Diego winced and said, almost sheepishly:

"Uh... he kind of did."

"Found everything you did to be interesting," Klaus continued. "Whatever you did, he could talk about. Even snoring and drooling."

"I do NOT drool," she said indignantly.

"How would you know? You're asleep." The bag of bread went flying at Klaus' head. "Hey!"

"Even if he did," she said, although her heart felt as though it were shattering with every spoken word, "that was years and years ago. It's been forty-five for him. It's perfectly reasonable for him to have found someone else."

"Just to make sure: I'm the one that's super high, right? And even I could see him making those goo-goo eyes at you?" Klaus used his fingers to widen his eyes, making kissy noises at Percy.

"Alright, I get it, stop it!"

"Hey, Percy?" Allison asked, getting up from where she was sitting. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"

"Um, yeah, sure."

She followed her (physically) older sister out of the room. They didn't say anything for the first few moments as they wandered the halls. Percy found herself reminiscing the old times, of when they were just children and everything was so much simpler. She wished she could go back to those times. It would've been so much easier.

"What's the real reason?" Allison asked finally, startling Percy.

"What?"

"You love Five," Allison said. "And he loves you. Yet you don't allow yourself to be with him. Why?"

"I... I don't know if you'll understand."

And she really didn't. Because when Allison and Luther had loved each other, they hadn't cared what others thought of them. They knew they wanted each other, knew that they loved each other, and to them, that was enough. Percy, on the other hand, didn't feel the same way as they did. How could she? She knew that it was wrong for her to love Five, because even if they were adopted siblings... they were still siblings. How could she have him when the thought alone revolted her?

And she had to admit—sometimes, when she was thinking about him, she didn't care. Sometimes, for a few moments of pure bliss, she didn't care that they were siblings, and that she shouldn't've felt the way she did. Because all she wanted was him, for him to be there with her, for him to love her back in the same way she loved him. And then the moment would pass and she would feel absolutely disgusted with herself because she couldn't love her brother.

But it wasn't like Allison would ever understand. She had loved Luther and had never felt any shame in it.

"You think that you shouldn't love him, don't you?" Allison asked softly. "That it's sickening you love your own brother?" She smiled a little at Percy's stunned look. "I am your sister, Percy, even if we don't really talk anymore."

"Did you ever feel that way?" she asked. "About Luther?"

"No. But we're different, aren't we?"

Percy didn't respond. She just nodded.

"You're not related by blood."

"I know."

"But it's unfair to both you and Five, you know that, right?"

Percy frowned. "How is it unfair to Five?"

"Because he loves you, Percy, and he doesn't seem to care that you two have been adopted by the same man. And yet you're denying your feelings because you find the idea of loving him repulsing."

"I don't find the idea of loving him repulsive. But I do find the idea of loving my own brother slightly revolting, I'll admit."

"What if he hadn't been your brother?" Allison questioned. "Would you admit to him that you love him?"

The answer fell from her lips without thinking. "Yes."

"Then tell him. Because I can tell you two are both hurting on the inside, and you two need to talk this out."

"Please," she begged. "Not now. I can't. I... he just got back. I don't want to ruin it. Seventeen years, Allison. He's been gone seventeen years. I just got him back. I don't think I can bear it if I ruin what we have."

"Percy..."

"Because what if you all are wrong?" she asked. "What if he did meet someone he loved and has all but forgotten me until he came back? I can't ruin this, Allison—I can't."

Allison gave her a small smile. "Do you remember what I told you about how Five used to look at you? As if you created the heavens themselves, brought life to Earth, was the entire center of the world? As if you were his light? When we were down in the kitchens... he looked at you in the exact same way he did all those ago, Percy. As if you were the most perfect thing to have ever walked the Earth. As if he couldn't live without you. He loves you just as much as he did before he was gone. And trust me when I say that he loves you a lot."

"I..."

"Just think about it, okay?" Allison said. "Just... Five loves you a lot too, Percy. Remember that."

She patted Percy's shoulder before turning and walking away, leaving the other girl standing in the middle of the hallway. Percy sighed before turning around as well, and made her way toward the living room, where she was sure Five was. She didn't know how she knew that. She just did. As she made her way there, she couldn't stop wondering about what Allison had told her. That Five loved her just as much as she did. If Allison had been right... was Five disgusted too? Did he too think it revolting that he loved his sister? Allison had told her no, he didn't, but Percy couldn't stop wondering.

She was just about to enter the room when she heard Five say, "Nice to know Dad didn't forget me."

There was a pause before Vanya said, "Percy painted that."

"She did?"

Percy peeked around the door to see Five staring up at the huge painting of himself with a sort of newfound interest.

"She hated it, though," Vanya continued. "Dad told her exactly what to paint, but she always said the painting was wrong. That it wasn't really you. That it was a disgrace to your memory. She always said she shouldn't have listened to Dad. That she should've painted the version of you that she knew. Not that."

Five tilted his head, studying the painting for a few more seconds before turning back to Vanya and Percy all but leapt back behind the door. She wasn't sure why she was eavesdropping, but she didn't leave her hiding spot.

"Read your book, by the way," Five said. "Found it in a library that was still standing." Percy frowned. Still standing? What did that mean? "I thought it was pretty good, all things considered. Yeah, definitely ballsy, giving up the family secrets. Sure that went over well."

"They hate me. Except for Percy... but I don't think she can hate anyone."

She could almost hear the smile in Five's voice as he replied, "No, I don't think she can. But there are worse things that can happen."

"You mean like what happened to Ben?"

Percy looked down at the ground, blinking back tears as she remembered the mission. They had all failed. How had they failed? They were the Umbrella Academy. They weren't supposed to fail. Ever. But they had. She had. She had failed her brother... again. How many more times must she fail one of her siblings?

"Was it bad?" Five asked quietly.

There was a pause. "Percy the hardest out of all of us. She blamed herself for his death."

"She must've known that's ridiculous."

"She left the Academy shortly after. She was the first to go. Then the rest of us followed."

"How old were you?"

"Seventeen," Percy said, finally striding into view, trying for a smile. "Dad told me that it was fine. That I was almost an adult. I could make decisions for myself. He didn't try to stop me."

Five was dressed in his old schoolboy clothes. Percy was hardly surprised; they never had any real clothes when they were younger. Just the uniform and pajamas, which would be remade into a bigger size when they grew older. There probably wasn't any other clothing that would fit him in the house. She almost asked him if he wanted to go shopping, before she remembered that she was broke. She had spent her last dime paying for Klaus a couple days ago.

"We still have a memorial to go to," she said at last. "Wouldn't wanna miss it. We should go."

But as the three of them went to leave, Percy held out her hand. And with a small smile, Five took it, linking their fingers together again.

Let's see... what did I change from canon?

OH! You wouldn't be able to tell in this chapter (or possibly ever), and it's completely trivial, but I changed Five's height. Aiden Gallagher is like, 5'5 or something, but I've decided to make Five 5'7 just because I want him to be taller than Percy (because... well, you'll know later) and I've always (meaning the last half week) imagined her to be 5'5. I know, it's so stupid, but whatever.

God, I can't believe I'm like 17k words into this episode and I haven't even gotten to the good stuff yet (aka the diner scene which is ICONIC... mainly because of the interesting choice in music but that choice is FANTASTIC).

I know, I know, this chapter wasn't the best—I didn't like it either, and I kept on changing it, but I decided that I had taken quite a long break from posting so I decided to just post it. I can do a rewriting session after this whole book is done.