A Taste of the Devine

by ClashOfFates

I never saw him coming, never expected his presence to change everything. I held a grudge against my mother for this very thing. For falling headfirst, never stopping to think. But now it's happened to me and I don't know exactly what I'm supposed to do. Should I stay or should I go? It's a question I never thought I'd be asking myself… until now. Bella/Paul OOC/AU/HEA

12. Chapter 12

All characters from Twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing except my version of events.

A/N: In hindsight… I should have titled Ch11 as Part I and this one as Part II, but it's kind of late now so I'll just tell you lol. This chapter is the continuation of the last, i.e. after the bbq with the pack when Bella leaves Paul's place and starts her drive home.

With that being said. If you don't remember what happened on the last chapter, maybe you should read that first, or at least skim it so it flows better. Not necessary to understand this one, simply a suggestion. Do as you please.

Eeek! I'm excited for this chapter. Let me know what you think and I hope you guys love it as much I do!

Chapter 12 Part II

My stomach has been churning with anxiety, and what I can only deduce as guilt, the entire drive home.

I don't understand it, it makes me feel uncertain. Like maybe I'd been too impetuous by inviting Julian over after having spent the day with Paul. Because now it feels very wrong.

And yet there were no concrete reason for me to feel that way, Paul was just Paul. There was absolutely nothing romantic going on between us. And it's not like he was ready for something like that anyway.

Not that he was interested…

Though last night, when he'd shown me the new renovations he'd made to the bar, felt special. The way he'd looked at me, analyzing my expressions and seeming to be so pleased with my approval. I didn't know why my opinion mattered, or why he would care. It was his bar after all. But instead, it'd been hinged on my opinion. Filled with a need to see me proud of what he had accomplished. And when I had left after the barbeque, he'd been visibly upset. I'd seen the fear in his expression. The way he opened his mouth starting to ask about my plans after returning home and then suddenly snapping it shut as if dreading to hear an answer he could not bear.

Or maybe I was just reading too much into everything. Making up this entire thing in my head. I willed myself to believe that. It was easier to think of it that way than the more complicated, convoluted truth.

Or not truth.

Shit, I really needed to stop thinking about it.

I pull up into the driveway and immediately see Julian climbing out of his friend's car.

"Dylan let you borrow his car?" I ask as soon as he's within hearing distance.

He smiles wide, nodding and pulling me by my purse strap to press a kiss against my lips.

I reciprocate the gesture, pulling away when I've had enough.

He doesn't seem to notice my sudden disinterest, "I dropped them off at a party. I might have to pick them up later, though."

I throw him a confused look, "Partying the weekend before finals week?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "Not my business. And not that I'm any better. I'm here with you, when what I should be doing is studying too."

I chuckle back. "True."

"I'm only staying a couple hours."

I nod in quick agreement. I didn't mind that one bit, if anything I encouraged it. I didn't like him spending the night anyway. I liked him and he was my friend, but it seemed too close to having a relationship and so I've kept some boundaries since we'd started. Thankfully he knew what it was, had gotten comfortable with the rhythm of our semi-relationship and never once complained about anything. It's one of the things I liked about him the most. He never asked for more, almost seeming to just be thankful I'd given him a chance at all.

Without asking he takes the duffle bag with my clothes out of the passenger seat and I smile at him in thanks. I unlock the front door and he follows after me placing my bag on the counter in the kitchen.

He turns to me and pulls me into his body. "I missed you." He says sweetly.

I force a polite smile. Why does everything feel so different now?

"I saw you a few days ago." I say, trying to hide my discomfort.

"I know, but I was bored without you."

"I am here to entertain." I dead-pan.

He chuckles and shakes his head. "I think it's safe to say we entertain each other."

He was right about that. And with that thought in mind I tug on his hair, pulling him to me. He leans forward willingly, his hands wrapping themselves around my back.

The kiss feels off, but I push myself past the feeling and will myself to enjoy it. I remember enjoying it before, always reveling in Julian's obvious need for me. Being with him was easy, simple. He met my needs when I had them and I enjoyed having sex with him. I wrap my arms around his neck, moving forward and pushing his back against the counter.

Maybe I just needed something rougher? Maybe I should've waited for Jacob to come home tomorrow and ask him to take care of me?

Though we haven't had sex since I started having constant sex with Julian. We were both in a place where we didn't need each other to release the tension we held within. We were both doing great. The pack was handling itself without him and classes have been going smoothly for me. Both of those things were the main sources of our frustration. But we were both good and therefore had no need to seek each other out.

Right now though felt different. Like I needed something more than what Julian could provide. I still needed something else. I still had that burning need in my core throbbing with desire.

I try to direct it towards Julian, he was here after all. I could just ask him to be rougher. I was sure he would comply, he always did.

He lets go of my mouth and trails kisses along my neck, his hand snaking underneath my shirt and slipping underneath my bra to squeeze my breast. I close my eyes as he releases a groan, trying to get lost in his touch so that maybe I can catch that flare of desire for him again. It's been there before, it should still be there now.

A sudden familiar growl from outside forces my eyes to snap open. They widen, seeing a shrouded figure through the window standing just outside of my home with lightning green eyes I can see even through the darkness.

I immediately know who it is.

A gasp leaves me and I instinctively tighten my grip on Julian's back.

"Bedroom?" Julian asks, having taken my gasp to mean something else. His own breaths coming in faster than before in response.

I'm surprised he hadn't heard the growl. To me it had been loud, deep, penetrating. I'd felt it all the way to my bones. But Julian seemed unaware as he starts guiding me back towards my bedroom without releasing me.

And I don't know if it's because I'm still shocked to see Paul just outside my window still caught in his fierce glare, that I stupidly follow along while my mind tries to figure out if he's really there or if my mind is playing tricks on me.

That is until Paul growls again, this time in warning. A shiver runs down my spine.

It works to wake me up. "Uh, you know what?" I say abruptly, grabbing him by his biceps and pushing him away from me. "I'm suddenly not feeling too good. I, uh, had some questionable potato salad this afternoon and I'm feeling kinda queasy."

Julian, bless his heart, looks confused as hell. His eyes blinking rapidly as if trying to process my change of mood along with my words.

"What?" He finally asks, after the fifth confused blink of his eyes.

"Yeah, I kind of felt it earlier but I'd already texted you and I didn't want to disappoint you… but I'm really feeling it now." I excuse stupidly, grasping onto my stomach. My eyes flick to the window finding Paul no longer there. For a moment I think I've imagined the whole thing but my body still feels hyperaware, like a livewire connecting me to something outside of myself.

Thankfully Julian takes the hint and nods slowly, though there's still a confused furrow on his forehead as he watches me. "Will you be okay for tomorrow?"

"Yeah, totally, I'll take some meds now and I should be good by tomorrow morning." I grab his arm and guide him to the door. "I'm sorry I cut this evening short. It's just, uh… you know these things… you can't really control them."

I'm sweating bullets now, the back of my neck prickling with awareness.

I think Julian finally catalogs the jittery mess of me. The perspiration starting to coat my face and the anxious, nervous way I'm moving. That he finally believes me, releasing a hefty chuckle. "It's okay." He says, as he opens the door and walks out "I hope you feel better tomorrow."

I nod, trying to smile at him but it struggles to come out and I know it's been warped into more of a grimace than anything else. I watch him from the doorway, seeing him getting into his car and waving at me before he drives away. I wave back, releasing a tension filled breath to see him go.

Its short lived when out of nowhere a strong body invades my space, hauling me completely off the floor as it swiftly moves us inside.

My breath gets stuck in my throat as Paul slams the door behind me closed, pressing my back against it. My heart thunders underneath my ribs, so strong I'm not sure I'll be able to keep it inside. I'm so confused, startled to see him here in my home and in the flesh. It's unexpected.

This is the part where I'm supposed to ask questions to dispel me from this confusion, but my mouth doesn't seem to be working. So instead, I take a moment to take him in, pushing my shock to the side to figure out what the hell is going on.

My eyes widen, watching the green irises in Paul's inhuman eyes. He growls lowly, dangerously, a warning there telling me to remain still. My eyes widen even further when I realize there's spots of a dark brown color mixed in with the green, like the wolf and Paul have joined forces to create their own unique patchwork of color. It's incredible.

"Paul?" I finally whisper, my own eyes sporadically searching his irises, looking for a hint of Paul inside. He doesn't answer, his eyes still only watching me. My fingers dig into his bare shoulders and I suddenly realize they're bare.

Paul is naked and sweaty, his body lightly trembling but I'm not sure with what. Anger? Fear? Self-restraint? His jaw is clenched tight, his brows drawn lower over his eyes, he's slightly panting as if having physically exerted himself beyond measure. And then I realize exactly why he looks that way.

He ran here in wolf form. Which means…

He shifted into his wolf for the first time in months. But the more glaringly obvious conclusion is that when he did, he came straight here. He didn't go to his imprint like he'd always feared he would. No. Paul came here.

Paul came to me.

Some kind of emotion I don't recognize fills my heart, and it terrifies me beyond measure. I shudder inside, my mind fighting the meaning behind the emotion. I don't want to acknowledge it. I know if I do it'll change everything. I refuse to let that happen. I can't let it happen. My mind starts working overtime to try to compensate.

Maybe I'm just overthinking everything. Maybe he didn't come here in wolf form. Maybe there's another reason for him to be here naked in front of me.

There has to be.

"Paul, did you–" I pause and start again, forcing the words out of my mouth. "Did you just run here in wolf form?"

For a moment he doesn't answer, his eyes still analyzing my face, he's never stopped. They take in every detail of my face; my eyebrows, my nose, my lips, and finally landing on my eyes. I think he now senses the fear inside of me and he softens his hold on my arm.

"I couldn't resist." He finally says, his eyes softening a fraction. They're still intense, but more like he's trying to rein it in. "I can't fight it anymore."

"Can't fight what?"

His hand that's holding me against the door glides up over my neck, cupping my jaw in a surprisingly tender action. "If I tell you. It'll scare you."

I blink back at him for a second, I open my mouth to say something but I'm suddenly out of words.

Sensing my hesitation he talks again, "I won't tell you. You're not ready. But I can't keep letting you fuck Julian. Not when I'm right here."

My pulse quickens at his words without asking permission. "What–" I swallow thickly and try again, fearing what I already know is true. "What do you mean?"

He suddenly presses his naked body against mine, pushing me further against the door and forcing me to feel his hard body. "You know exactly what I mean, Bella."

My breath hitches. For a moment I'm taken back to the day he'd imprinted. To how Paul had hauled me off the ground and straddled me onto his lap. That same uncontrollable desire I'd felt for him then, even when I'd known it'd been wrong for me to feel it. I'd lost control. Paul had forcefully taken it and my body had let go without permission. I can feel that same need in me now as his hot body presses against my softer one. That burning desire I'd almost desperately tried to feel for Julian but had been sorely lacking. It's rising to the surface now, just under my skin.

As if he feels it too, Paul's eyes turn sharp, assessing me. Recognizing the silent signals of my body reacting to his words. I don't want him to see them, I want to hide, to beat my body into submission. I can't. The slight tilt to the right side of Paul's lips tells me he knows it too.

"You want me." He says with great self-satisfaction. "I knew you did." He says next, more so to himself than me. His thumb on my chin glides up, rubbing across my bottom lip. My mouth instinctively opens and his eyes focus on the action, his tongue dipping out to lick his own bottom lip and biting it as if imitating what he would do to mine.

I swallow over the sudden tightness in my throat. "We can't." I say, trying to fight what I'm suddenly feeling. I regretted it the last time. Surely I would regret it today too.

"Why?"

I know I shouldn't say it. Say one of the words that will surely trigger him, but I need him to remember. "Rachel."

It doesn't have the effect I expected it to. Instead he smiles.

"What about Rachel?"

I'm shocked stupid for a moment before my mind finds the next word to pull a reaction out of him. "She's your imprint."

His smile only widens. "She's not my imprint anymore." He says with clear certainty.

I blink back in confusion. Wondering how he could say that with so much conviction. It can't be true. But his face is peaceful, happy, no sign of any sort of pain caused by hearing those two words that used to send him into deep agony in the past, which means he's telling the truth.

"How do you know?"

With his free hand he points to his eyes, highlighting the fact that his eyes are no longer the dark brown they used to be. Now they are a mix of both colors, Paul and his wolf.

"He understands now."

"Understands what?"

"That Rachel isn't the one for us."

I open my mouth but nothing comes out again. Tonight I have found myself short of words… no words actually. I have zero in me. My mouth has forgotten how to move to form words. That's never happened to me before.

"We have come to an agreement, my wolf and I."

"What agreement is that?" A barely audible whisper finally leaves my lips.

"We choose together."

Choose together… like in their next imprint?

He releases a breath that fans over my face and my eyes instinctively close, my chin lifting ever so slightly to catch more of his scent. I've never felt this much attraction to anyone before, and certainly not with just their breath.

A barely there moan slips out of his throat and before I can find the strength to open my eyes, I feel his nose gliding along my neck inhaling deeply. "Do you remember how good it felt?" He asks softly, his mouth close enough to my neck that I feel his lips move as he talks. "I've thought about that night on your couch too many times to count. Even with the imprint I wanted you." He tells me, his lips pressing harder against my skin. "I want you now."

I feel his sharp teeth against my skin, the wetness he leaves behind at his words. I swallow thickly.

"It's not a good idea." I manage to say. "We're friends. We can't be more than friends."

I feel the sudden emptiness when his face pulls away from me, his hand dropping from my skin and his body pulling away taking the warmth of his skin away from mine. I finally open my eyes.

His expression is inscrutable, his eyes losing the heat that had once been in them.

I can't help the disappointment I instantly feel.

To push my emotions to the back of my mind I focus on continuing to use words to convince him that starting something between us is not a good idea. Because clearly my traitorous body is doing no such thing.

"I can't give you what you really want. I can't give you a relationship, not anything more than the friendship I've already given you. Julian understands that. Jacob understands that. But I don't know if you will. You just got free from your imprint and I don't want to confuse you."

He looks down for a moment, and I want to reach out and touch him. To not only console him but to also reassure myself that the friendship we have built will not change with what has happened today. But I don't want to give him mixed signals. I don't want him to think I've changed my mind. I never will. So I resist giving him that connection.

Paul shakes his head and then surprises me with a rough chuckle. When he lifts his head again there's a disbelieving smile on his face. "You think that after all those months I spent breaking the imprint the first thing I want to do is get into a relationship?" He suddenly asks.

Wait, what?

"You don't– want me– that way?" I stutter stupidly.

He chuckles again, his hand moving to roughly rub against his face. "No." He practically exclaims. "I just want sex. I'm attracted to you, Bella, and I know you are to me too. I know we're friends, I don't want to change that."

"You don't?"

"No." He answers simply.

I frown slightly, finding myself almost as confused as I had been when I'd first caught a glimpse of him at my window. This is not what I'd expected. Not at all. But I can't deny I'm incredibly relieved. If he didn't want me in that way then there was no way our relationship would change because of it.

I release a harsh break, releasing the tension I've been holding this whole time. "Oh, ok."

He rolls his eyes and arches a brow. "So?"

"So, what?"

He chuckles again, but this time he takes a step closer, his naked body just a centimeter away from mine.

I can immediately feel the warmth emanating from his body from this short distance, engulfing me in its warm embrace even without physical contact. I secretly revel at feeling it again.

"Sex, Bella." He clarifies.

"Right… Sex." I repeat stupidly. "I still don't think it's a good idea."

He presses his hot body against mine fully this time, his head bending down toward my ear to whisper. "Isn't it?" He asks, in a deep husky voice. Then his hand touches the side of my thigh, feather light over my skin. It glides up over the shape of my hips stopping until it lands above my waist, his thumb just below the swell of my breast. "You can't deny there's chemistry between us. I know you feel it too." He says, his nose tracing the shell of my ear. "God, imagine how good the sex would be."

I must be in hell because its absolute torture to resist.

"Shit, Paul." I gulp.

He chuckles darkly. His face moving to trail his lips along my chin, he hovers his mouth right over mine. "I saw how uninterested you were in him just now. I know you don't want him anymore."

I scoff. "You don't know that."

His eyes move away from my lips to look into my eyes instead. I see the confidence and certainty in them. "I know, Bella, more than you think." He pushes his body against mine again.

I stop breathing.

"There it is." He points out smugly. "You didn't want him as much as you want me now. Admit it."

I stiffen in his arms. "I'm not admitting anything."

He chuckles darkly again, a mischievous smirk taking over his features. "Oh… I'm going to love pulling the admission right out of you."

"Paul–"

His lips suddenly crash into mine, his tongue slipping between my already open mouth as I was speaking. His hand tightens on my side and his other hand takes my face, not allowing me to reject the kiss.

Not that I want to. Or can. My body, as it always has when Paul's touching me in inappropriate ways gives away its control, melting into him, my hands lifting to dig my fingers into his hair. It's longer than it should be. He hasn't had a haircut in months and its showing, but at this moment, I relish in the feel of his silky hair in my hands, how my fingers are able to tug at the strands.

Paul moans into my mouth and it pulls an equally wanting moan out of mine. He pulls slightly away to catch a breath and my mouth chases after him seeking his lips again, breath be damned. He chuckles again. "Told you." He says smugly.

I roll my eyes, realizing he's right but not even caring when my body is burning with desire. "God, Shut. Up." I practically growl myself, tugging on his hair to pull his lips back to mine.

He chuckles again but pushes his mouth harder against mine, as if ramping up the level of desire. My body responds, my hands slipping away from his hair to glide down his muscled back. It ripples in response, his muscles jerking underneath my touch. I've given up fighting the pull so I go all in and grip his firm ass cheeks. The same ones I've seen many times before and pull him against the place I want him the most.

He moans deeply and his hand on my waist glides down over the curve of my bottom and to the back of my thigh. He grips it firmly and hooks my leg over his thigh, lifting me off the ground.

My other leg follows, hooking onto his other side and then his bare cock is pushing into my most sensitive flesh. I pull away, my head falling back against the wall and closing my eyes, consumed in the feeling of him nudging my heat even over my jeans.

"God." Paul whispers, his breaths coming quicker. "That face… I remember that face, that beautiful fucking face you make."

My hips dive against his, searching for what I want but it's not enough.

"Let me taste you." He practically begs, his hot breath hitting my face. "I'm dying to see the look on your face when you finally come."

I breathe deeply and before my mind fights me to reject him, my head is already nodding.

Paul moves in a flash, as if knowing given a second to breathe without his touch will allow my mind to truly think about what is currently happening. He puts me back down to the ground and literally rips my jeans and my underwear right off of me. Before I realize what's happened his face has already disappeared in between my folds.

I throw my head back and moan, my hands lifting up looking for something to hold onto but finding only the door behind me. My fingers dig into the ridges of the wood.

Paul's lips and tongue are everywhere, his head moving from side to side and tilting in various degrees as he sucks my pussy lips into his mouth mimicking the same motions he was doing earlier when he was kissing the lips of my mouth. It's almost in a teasing fashion but it's not, more like he's taking his time, enjoying the taste. He's moaning, almost mewling as if he's found the perfect place to be.

When I look down there's this blissful look on his face, his eyes are closed and it's like he's lost. His mouth searching all around to taste every single inch, not daring to miss a single thing. It makes me melt against the door, a somewhat peaceful feeling settling into my bones. It's different. I still feel the heat, the desire I have for him. My heart is still beating wildly inside my chest. I want him to get to the point but I also love this too. It excites me, fills me with anticipation for what's yet to come.

"You taste better than I ever imagined." He mumbles over my sensitive flesh.

I shudder and smile a little, a warm feeling filling my chest.

He takes his time taking languid strokes with his tongue all around my most sensitive flesh, and then he surprises me when he stops, his lips hovering over my clit letting his warm breath glide tantalizingly over my sex. His hand glides down my left thigh and lifts it up, hooking it over his shoulder. And then he's pulling the air out of my lungs with his tongue, starting a ruthless rhythm against my sensitive bud.

My blood roars to life, a sound I've never heard before coming out of me, a sound I can't control.

My hands fall and slide into his hair now pushing his face deeper into me as if wanting more. I don't know how that's possible but it is. My hips are diving into his face, my hands pulling at his strands to force him to the faster rhythm I want.

His lips and tongue follow easily, his wanton moans gliding up his throat and vibrating against my sensitive flesh.

"Shit, just like that, right– Oh!" I exclaim again, my body starting to tense.

His fingertips dig into my skin in anticipation for what's to come. He knows it already. Can sense it somehow.

I'm mumbling something. Not quite sure what it is, if it's his name or if I'm telling him how good it feels, I'm not sure if he understands me either. Probably not since I'm incoherent and can't even understand myself.

I don't know how it can get any better. Then I make the grave mistake of looking down. Paul is on his knees. His eyes are laser focused, devouring the look on my face while his mouth devours my sex. It's intoxicating, the power it surges within me. It's what finally does me in.

I close my eyes and throw my head back, screaming to the high heavens the release of my orgasm. The first ever orgasm Paul has given me.

In that moment, I know I won't stop there.

I won't be able to. I'm going to want more. I'm going to need more.

I've never had such an explosive orgasm as this one. And if Paul has managed to make it this good with just his tongue… I can't even imagine what he'll accomplish with that massive thing in between his legs.

I startle a little when I feel myself sliding down the wall, my body limp and unable to hold itself up on its own. I land on top of Paul's thighs, I feel the heat of his harsh breath against my face again, but I can't even manage to open my eyes. He places soft kisses on my face, as if slowly coaxing me back to reality.

I smile slightly at the gesture.

"It might be stupid to ask now," He starts his voice coming out raspy. "But can I take your shirt and bra off?"

I can't help the laugh that bubbles up my throat and I finally open my eyes looking down. I had no idea I was still wearing my top. I shake my head and do it for him, grasping the bottom hem of my shirt and pulling it over my head.

His eyes look down to my chest, I'm wearing a lace bralette that allows him to see glimpses of my nipples, but honestly it's like I'm not wearing anything. It leaves nothing to the imagination.

"Jesus Christ." He swears under his breath, his eyes riveted to my nearly naked breasts. His hand lifts up and the back of his index finger glides over my already puckered nipple over the material. "They're perfect." He whispers, then his eyes glide down my torso down to my pussy which is wide open for him to see as I'm straddled over his lap on the floor. He releases a hard breath and then his eyes glide up to my face, his eyes taking in, what I'm sure, is still a blissful look on my face. "You're perfect."

I smile, a real smile, not a teasing or a playful smirk. It's a smile that comes from finding the clear honesty in his words.

"Tell me I get to taste more of you." He whispers, his hand lifting to cup the side of my face, his thumb caressing my cheek. "Tell me I can fuck you, Bella."

It seems important to him. For me to tell him I want this, I want him. That I'm accepting this sexual proposition of my own free will. I still think it's a bad idea. I know it'll only cause trouble, especially when everyone finds out. But I suddenly could care less what they think, of how much they'll either disagree or tease me over it. I don't care. I want Paul. I want that beautiful cock in between his legs to fill me up. I've never wanted anything more.

My desire for him is still there, simmering just under the surface. I still want more of him, more orgasms from him. I'm practically salivating at just the thought of his cock sliding into me and taking me to a new undiscovered place. Fuck the consequences.

What's the worst that could happen anyway?

I reach forward and grasp his cock. He sucks in a harsh breath and closes his eyes. I lean into him, my free hand wrapping itself around his neck while my other hand glides along his velvety flesh. My fingers can't even close around the girth of it, and my need grows at just the thought of how good he's going to stretch me.

"If you don't fuck me," I start, whispering the words seductively into his ear. "I'll be very cross with you."

He moans deeply and his mouth falls down to my neck, placing open mouth kisses along my shoulder. One of his hands settles itself on top of my hand that's pleasuring him. He puts no pressure, just leaving it there as if loving the feel of my hand touching him like this.

"Oh beautiful," He growls deeply. "I'm going to fuck you so hard I might just wreck you."

"Those are some pretty big words." I say licking the shell of his ear.

He shivers, his fingers digging into the cushiony flesh of my hips. "It's more like a promise." And then he lifts me by the hips, startled I let go of him and he smiles devilishly. "Are you ready for me to ruin you?"

Well, when he puts it like tha–

I gasp when he suddenly drops me onto his waiting cock.

He stops breathing too, his forehead helplessly falling against mine. "Oh shit," He suddenly trembles, "I'm not even fully inside."

"What?" I whine out breathily.

"Bella," He groans, a tortured noise coming out of him, "you're too tight."

I bite my lip and close my eyes, shivering. "God, and it already feels so good."

"Too good." He corrects, his shaking hands gliding down to my thighs pulling them further apart to open me up. "I need you to relax, sweetheart, I don't want to hurt you when I push in all the way."

I nod, it's all I can do.

He smiles slightly and then he leans forward to kiss me, keeping the bottom part of his body still. It starts as a slow, languid kiss to stoke the flames.

"When I tell you to," he mumbles over my mouth, "take a deep breath."

"Okay." I mumble back, lifting my hand to his face to keep his lips on mine.

He chuckles and cups my face, his thumb pulling my bottom lip down for him to suck into his mouth.

I moan, devouring his mouth and tasting the sweetest thing, slipping my tongue inside in search of more. His chest heaves and his hands on me start to tense.

"Now, Bella."

I close my eyes and start to take a breath. It gets caught halfway in when Paul pushes inside the rest of the way.

"Ah." I groan in slight pain.

He's stiff as a board, panting harshly and his skin starting to glisten with sweat from holding himself back. But his hand on my face stays gentle, his thumb still caressing my skin.

"Are you okay?" He asks tightly.

"Yeah." I reply out of breath, my forehead falling to his.

"Can I move?" He asks, the question coming out tight and his body trembling with self-restraint. "Please?"

I bite my lip and nod in the affirmative.

"Thank god." He mumbles out, and then he moves. His hips cautiously moving back and then up again.

We both release loud moans, our voices creating one single noise.

But he's going too slow, too shallow…

My body takes over, lifting up onto my knees and coming down starting a rhythm I repeat over and over again until we're both panting into each other.

"Bella." He groans in pleasure, his eyes shutting slightly.

I love the torture in his expression, the blissful yet painful edge that is there when the inner part of his eyelids twitch, his brows furrowing in the middle.

I wrap my arms around his neck and bring his lips to mine. He gasps and I take advantage, slipping my tongue into his mouth. He moans into mine, his lips coming alive to follow after me. His hands are gripping my sides tightly.

I can feel the tension he's still holding within. Containing himself from doing more.

I hate that more than anything. Just asking him to let go of his control won't do the trick. He's too afraid to hurt me, letting me pick the pace I'm comfortable with. But I want him to take control, he's always been able to take it away from me, except for now when it matters the most. So I'll have to taunt him to pull it out and I know just how to do that.

"Paul," I moan softly, slowing down on top of him until I'm languidly moving on top. I'm dying to go faster but I need to frustrate him, not just with my words but with my body too. "You promised to wreck me."

His eyes snap open and he pulls away from my lips, his eyes scanning my face.

I pout slightly, releasing a disappointed sigh. "You're not destroying me like you said you wou–"

I don't even finish before the green in his eyes shines brighter than before, like a flash of a camera left on. "Oh little girl, don't cry to me when you regret your words."

Without allowing me a response, he lifts himself up onto his knees and then pushes my back against the door behind me. He braces his left hand onto the side of the wall and grips my left hip with the other and then he really moves.

The door rattles behind me as he pushes me against it, hitting me hard with every thrust.

A yell slips out of me and my chest heaves, my breath coming in harsh pants as I try to catch my breath. I'm finding it impossible to do with Paul's hard body roughly pressed against mine.

"Oh god!" I exclaim, my eyes sliding closed and reveling in the pressure his thick cock is applying to my body. I dig my nails into his shoulders.

"You asked for it, beautiful." He cockily growls, his mouth moving to suck on my neck. "You want it rough. I'll give it to you rough."

I grasp his thick muscled arm that's braced against the wall and push my face into it. My nails digging into his skin, a deep whine falling out of my mouth.

"Brace yourself and take it." He orders. "Scratch me, bite me if you need to, but I'm not stopping until you're screaming out my name." He both warns and commands.

Shit, I might have gone too far with the taunting. I weirdly don't regret it. It's painful but it's good, so so fucking good. He might split me in half, either me or the door behind me, but I could care less. Even if he manages to break the door and we spill out onto the floor outside where my neighbors will see, I won't stop. I wouldn't care. I'm too lost in this darkness of both pain and pleasure, an overpowering pressure that's building something strong at the bottom of my belly. Blowing up a tight balloon I'm desperate for him to pop.

I drag my nails down his back and his chest rumbles, I scream and then bite his arm bracing the wall to stop it.

"Scream louder, Bella." He growls into my ear, his harsh wet breath gliding along my lobe and neck. "Burst my eardrums with your screams. When you finally come on my cock you better not hold back. I'm not."

I suck in a harsh breath and my body tenses, anticipating the explosion I know is coming.

"There you are." He roughly whispers, pulling away to grasp my face in his hands, pulling my face away from hiding behind his arm. "Squeeze me tighter, you're right there."

My body responds to his commands without consciously thinking it, listening to his siren's song in my ear.

He moans, his body tightening. "I'm right there with you." He grits out, his eyes watching my face with fierce determination. "Fucking. Let. Go."

I scream his name so loud I hurt my own eardrums. My whole body tightening and exploding in one swift move. My nails dig harder into his skin as I try to keep myself firmly on this earth. It's an impossible task when Paul follows a second after me, mixing a roar with a moan that penetrates my skin and clings to my insides. It's earth-shattering, breaking me into molecular sized pieces.

It's too much and I can't hold on. I try to fight the darkness that's tunneling my vision, I want to be here. To keep feeling Paul's body against mine, but it's too much. My body has been depleted of energy and I'm fading into nothing. Those shattered pieces floating up into the air and dispersing, taking my consciousness with it.