Chapter 125:
For a moment, Laxus couldn't believe his eyes. Gajeel was here? Now? After all the searching he had done and never found him, after all the heartache, he had appeared now?
"Where have you been?" Laxus demanded, "Gajeel, where have you been?"
Lightning glared and vanished above them. It was still pouring down rain, a frigid humidity rising into the air like mist over a peat bog trying to stifle him, but he was still raging. He searched up into eyes as red as murder, half lidded looking down on him. Gajeel leaned onto his knees, crossed his arms over them and tilted his head to the side. His pupils were large, swallowing him in their perceptive gaze. He looked unsettling, like a predator leering down at him before it would pounce. The thought made a shiver roll down his spine. Thunder rocked the air.
"Oh y'know... here and there..." he began and then stilled, realizing something, "I mean, ah, I've been in the woods. And I tried to convince myself to come home but ended up at the bar instead, which... looks like you might know about already. I uh... went and talked ta Hajime. To get my head straight? Followed the thunder here... to you."
"The woods..." Laxus breathed.
Something wasn't right. Why did he feel so much worse? How could he feel worse? His chest ached, his eye throbbed, his veins were crowded. He couldn't catch his breath. Gajeel being here before him made different emotions riot through his marrow. He wanted to reach out, drag Gajeel down and...
"Yeah, I can show ya, I mean, y-you..." he seemed to lose his train of thought and again just stared down at Laxus, "I'm sorry. T's hard ta concentrate... with you... like this."
"I've been looking for you."
It didn't sound right coming from his mouth. Laxus's voice trembled with anger, with something else he didn't want to place but made his chest burn. I've been looking for you sounded hungry and possessive, and far closer to I've been hunting you, I've been waiting to sink my teeth into you. Maybe Gajeel heard it, maybe he didn't. But his eyes narrowed, and when his lips parted, his breath hitched before he replied.
"You were? Ah... If I'd known, I would have... I thought..." his eyes fluttered closed. He scrubbed his face with his hands and gazed at him again, "I can't think. You'll have ta... you'll have to try to reign some of this back in, Laxus. I know it ain't fair to ask."
"Reign it in...?" Laxus snarled.
Lightning spidered from the sky and hit one of the iron pillars. Gajeel didn't flinch, never moved his eyes from his own. He should have flinched. If anyone had a right to be terrified of the storm raging now, it was him. He was still perching atop his iron pillar, still looking at him like a beast of prey losing its patience, eager to leap down and dig his claws into him. Laxus sucked in a breath. Every nerve in his body twinged at the scent that fell off the iron dragon slayer. His soul surged, taking up too much space inside of him.
"Like hell."
The corner of Gajeel's lip twitched upwards, but his smirk was killed before it could show his teeth. It was careful, measured, like he was trying very hard to remain calm. Laxus didn't want him to be. He wanted him wild, violent, uncontrollable. Like him.
"Don't do it fer me, then," Gajeel said, his voice rough and low, "But Juvia, she's real nervous. I think it would be kind to ease her a bit, don't you? After ya hit her with lightning like ya did? She's got bad memories, you know, with dragon slayers... like this."
Slowly, and with great difficulty, Laxus tore his eyes from Gajeel and looked over to where he felt her magic emanating from her in chilly waves. She was standing amidst a forest of iron pillars, her hands aloft and directed towards him, ready to defend herself or Gajeel at a moment's notice. His eye throbbed looking at her, because she didn't look arrogant or possessive. She looked terrified. Her eyes were blown wide and her hands trembled. The pouring rain, he remembered, was not only a moniker of her magical power, but her state of mind. She wasn't a threat, not really. Not when Gajeel was in front of him.
Reign it in.
He took in a deep breath and shut his eyes, let it out slowly, and tried to calm himself down. But he didn't want to. Oh how much he didn't want to. It felt wrong, like a betrayal, dragging in his influence. It was painful, like his nails bending backwards as he clung to a rock face, slipping and knowing below him was a terrible drop. Like picking up fistfuls of broken glass, it kept slipping between his fingers where he had to hold it loosely. He couldn't do it, not completely, but he was able to get the air to stop snapping with so much static. But to bring it in meant to house it inside of him, all of this manic, frenetic energy. It stilted up and down his back and he bodily shivered. He clutched at his chest because it burned to be so contained now. It was searing his bones to ash, electrifying his blood. He didn't want to reign it in. He wanted to let it out. His eye throbbed and it made his vision flash white.
"Thank you..." Gajeel whispered. It sounded so close to something else, something that made his blood fetid as it sang behind his ears. He didn't understand why. He just wanted. Needed… Red eyes swept to Juvia, his mouth forced into a reassuring smile, "C-can ya tone it down, Juv? Please?"
At first, she didn't budge. Then, the chilled air around them began to lose its edge. The pouring rain lessened to a drizzle and then to a light mist. She didn't pull back any more than that, though, and Laxus saw the puddles lapping at her feet, pulled by a tug ready to call it to action in a second. He met her petrified gaze, and for an excruciatingly quiet moment considered what would happen if he struck her now. She wouldn't be able to stop him after something like that...
"Sorta glad I wrote this down, now," Gajeel said, drawing back the blonde's attention.
Laxus didn't say a thing, just watched with nothing short of contempt as he drew out a familiar black journal. Laxus lost what Gajeel was saying as soon as he started. He was drawn instead to the faint quivering of the book he held, and what it meant for the hands that held it. He traced his bare arms, crisscrossed with scars all the way up. At this angle, his studded collar hid his throat, high and protective. But the barrel of his chest expanded and contracted rapidly, far too rapidly for him to be as calm as he was pretending to be. What was it? Was it excitement? Was it fear?
"Are you scared, Gajeel?" Laxus said.
The heavens splintered with a wild fang of lightning, and thunder galloped across the city. Gajeel stopped mid-sentence and looked down his nose at him. He snapped his book shut and leaned his face into his hand. Laxus could see how he was digging the tips of his fingers into his skin, like he needed relief from something. A piece of what he was trying to hide flashed across his face.
"Oh, just trembling in fear," he replied, his tone a provocation that was quickly schooled when he cleared his throat nervously, "You, uh, didn't hear a word I said, did ya?"
Laxus didn't respond. Not with words. He trailed his gaze across his form. Pins spread from lowest place in his stomach. Harsh fingers of it sloped down his thighs. He flinched, screwed his eyes shut. What was that? Why did it keep happening? It made him angry...
"I'm tryin' to do this right, apologize." Gajeel said, "I'm sorry, Laxus, for hidin' things from you. I thought I was doin' the right thing, yanno? I realize that I hurt you, instead… but it don't really seem like yer hearin' me."
Hiding things. That was what he'd said. He'd called Gajeel a silly it seemed now. Didn't he know that didn't matter anymore? Not that he should be giving Laxus an apology anyway. Wasn't it he who called Gajeel a murderer? That he hadn't changed and was just looking for an excuse to kill again?
"You're apologizing to me…" Laxus chuckled a bit, drunk on his own temper.
"I hurt you. I should apologize." Gajeel said simply, watching him closely.
"Is everything your fault, Gajeel?"
It wasn't really funny, was it? Gajeel was always this way, even now; always punishing himself, always self-destructing. He took all the blame, even when it didn't belong to him. Laxus could sear it away, though, given the chance. A light in his darkness… except he didn't feel like a gentle guide on the horizon. The midday sun, though, could blister and burn.
"I don't want a fucking apology," he snarled.
No, an apology wasn't what Laxus needed. He needed Gajeel angry. He wanted him to scream at him, to cover himself in iron scales and rampage. Tell him he was wrong. Tell him he'd been the one that messed up. He wanted an excuse to feed the furnace blazing ardent in his chest. Laxus's blood was so hot, so livid. He wanted to hold Gajeel by the throat while those talons let loose what was burning inside of him. He wanted to see his eyes roll back when he took back what belonged to him-
"Laxus, you gotta... you gotta reign it in." Gajeel said, his voice tight as a bowstring. He wasn't aware his magic had surged, but now long snakes of yellow electricity were sprawling out around him, snapping into iron, slithering up to the man before him. Gajeel didn't recoil from them like he should have. His jaw was rigid, though, desperately holding something back, "I'm tryin' real hard, here. You need to understand... it don't just affect you."
"What?" Laxus snapped, "What the hell are you talking about?"
Gajeel gave him a hard look, searching into him. Laxus's eyes dipped down to his lips, his throat. He watched the way his adam's apple rolled when he swallowed hard. Bitterness filled his mouth. He wanted… oh he wanted… a rush of frisson made his mind go blank.
Footsteps were rapidly approaching, drawing his livid attention. Instinct made his magic swell when he saw a shock of scarlet hair. Erza skidded to a stop, garbed in her Lightning Empress Armor. He remembered that armor. It neutralized his magic. Jet flashed to her side, determination set on his features as he searched for Levy. Resentment outbloomed into loathing. His breathing hitched at the hateful fire in his chest, growing so intense his vision started to fog over. They'd brought Erza?
"I came as quickly as I could." she called, her gaze immediately falling on him. She drew up her spear, readying to fight. Foreign lighting danced up it, lighting that when he brushed it refused to respond to him. He clenched his fists around the urge to take the spear and snap it in half. He would if he got his hands on it.
"That ain't necessary, we're fine," Gajeel's careful tone made him even angrier. "Laxus, hey, look at me."
He didn't. He stared wide-eyed at Erza, witnessing her in all her capacity. She had steadied herself but she was off, regarding him just a little too closely. She took in a breath and held it for just a moment before she let it out slowly, attempting to slow her heart rate. To focus. To calm her nerves. Erza Scarlet, of all people, had to calm her nerveswhen he stood ready to fight before her.
His stomach rolled furiously. His eye throbbed. His lips twisted into a sneer.
"Do I make you nervous, Titania?" he rumbled lowly.
Her breath caught and she brandished the point of her spear at him, narrowing her eyes, displaying her intent. She opened her mouth to speak but was startled into silence by Gajeel.
"Requip, Erza." he snarled, "Laxus, look at me."
"He's a danger to everyone around him and himself," Erza replied sharply.
"He's not an animal, Erza," Gajeel snapped at her, "He just needs to calm down."
An animal? He felt animalistic. And brutal. And savage. And he wanted to let it loose.
The sizzling tendrils of lightning around him grew noisome, making the air pop as static slithered through it, around him, across the ground and parting the skies. His skin crawled and a growl dredged itself up from his chest as thunder built in his gut again. Acid burned on his tongue. Tendrils of light flashed near his mouth. He felt a roar building, strong enough to rip apart the city. Maybe it would rip her apart too…
"Goddammit, Erza, requip." Gajeel stood, but he didn't tear his eyes from Laxus, "Yer makin' things worse."
Her eyes flashed to Gajeel and back to Laxus. Her grip on her spear turned her knuckles white.
"You want a rematch from last time, Erza?" Laxus asked, his tone holding threat. For a second, a half second, she looked unsettled before she immediately hid it, "Which one of us do you think will win? That spear, or me? Either way, we both know it won't be you."
He could feel her magic activate and she set her jaw. Something deep in Laxus's stomach enjoyed seeing her hesitation, her nervousness bleeding into the air around her. He could feel it in her magic, the trepidation at standing before him bare of the only thing she had that could compete with his strength. Her armor vanished as light consumed her. She reappeared in her Heaven's Wheel armor, bladed wings unfurling around her, her swords out and ready, one of them pointed his direction.
No… No! He wanted to use her to prove a point…
How fucking agitating. Even she was backing down? Perhaps not completely, she was still on the defense, but this armor was a far cry from her other. He was tired of the tension, of the fragile reservation. He wanted to split the screaming silence. He wanted to hear thunder rampage through his bones again. Laxus's magic swirled out around him. He could, he should strike her now.
Now that she couldn't stop him-
"Laxus!" Gajeel growled at him, "Look at me!"
He stared Erza down, eyes running down the length of the blade brandished towards him. His lightning danced nearer to her, daring her to move so he'd have the excuse. He wanted to hit her, but not until she provoked him. To make a point, to prove who was the strongest, he didn't want to do it underhandedly. He wanted to feel that blade slice him so he could show the world what happened when you stood against him-
"Laxus!" a hand gripped his collar, dragged him down so he was forced to meet swimming red eyes. Gajeel's voice dropped, laced with something terribly close to rage and twice as vicious, "Your mate is right in front of you. Are you going to ignore him?"
Laxus felt like he'd just punched him in the chest. Burning heat started from the center of his ribcage and flushed throughout his body, sending a wave of discomfort down all the way to the tips of his toes, his fingers, his scalp. His body transformed into lightning for an instant, a flash, and he didn't stop until he'd dragged Gajeel to his own iron pillar and slammed him against it. The noise that left him made Laxus's mind swim, awareness of all else around them vanish. His hands were circling his throat, a throat that Gajeel bared readily, that shivered under his grasp. Again, the world was falling away, but this time Laxus was staring into the shuddering softness of flesh, the pulse that ran flush against his fingers.
Magic brushed against him as several people surged. He didn't get a chance to respond, was instead dazzled by viridescent light that unfurled beneath him. Silver pikes struck outwards like the petals of a jagged flower, threatening to cut. Ezra, Mirajane, Freed, and even Pantherlily all came to an abrupt halt from some ridiculous and valiant rescue that ended when Gajeel had summoned his iron.
"I'm fine..." he said steadily, though his breath was coming in swiftly and haggard, "I'm fine... we're fine."
Laxus shut his eyes against another wave of pins etching manic designs up and down his skin. It grew strong, stronger, made his vision bleed with static before it finally, mercifully faded. He could smell... he could smell blood.
"What the fuck...?" he whispered.
"Oddly nostalgic, ain't it?" he snapped his eyes back to Gajeel's face. A devilish grin was there, showing his sharpest teeth, "That this would happen and you wouldn't realize again? Can't fault ya, Sparky, but it's obvious when ya think about it."
"Don't play games with me..." Laxus warned, angry. Why was he so angry?
Gajeel's eyes rolled to the side. He worried his lip with his canine until he drew blood.
"Heard ya messed up Natsu pretty bad," he said, "Ain't much like you, is it? Ta go all out in a bar fight?"
"He pissed me off." Lightning struck the street. He didn't want to talk about Natsu. "You defending him?"
"Just curious. Why'd ya do it?" Gajeel asked, clearly aiming for something.
Laxus's reply was immediate, "He needed reminded of his place."
"Where's that? Beneath you?" Gajeel pried. Laxus nearly doubled over from a shiver. He gasped because it danced so close to pain he couldn't stand it, "Thought ya weren't inta all that male dominance shit?"
"I'm…" Laxus was breathless. His eye throbbed. "I'm not."
Gajeel's voice rolled low, seductive, "Am I beneath you, Laxus?"
Lightning struck the iron pillar next to him. A small voice, buried under the smoldering red, said no. We're equals. He'd always viewed Gajeel as his equal. But a louder voice screamed Yes. Of course, you're beneath me. Beneath me in so many ways, and I want you beneath me again.
"Kinda figured…" Gajeel said, his smile fading. "I don't want ta fight ya, Laxus. Won't even resist ya. I learned my lesson the first time."
The first time…?
"Been having' weird dreams? Real lifelike dreams? Probably kinda violent? You wake up feelin'… well… like a teenager?" his voice held humor but he wasn't smiling. His eyes were boring into him, stabbing him in place like bloodied spears. They were reticent and Laxus really wanted them swimming, "Been havin' intrusive thoughts? Bout your guildmates? Eyes wanderin' places they shouldn't? Seein' them in a new light?"
"No." Laxus hissed on impulse.
Gajeel gave him a skeptical look, raising his eyebrow. "T's alright. I ain't gonna get mad."
Laxus's gaze flashed to Levy. When their eyes met, her face filled with pallid shock and blush tinged her cheeks. Lily and Mirajane both took a defensive step towards her, blocking her from view. Mirajane was still Halphas, and he'd never seen her look so startled before. Laxus's eye throbbed. What was… what was going on…?
"I wouldn't…" Laxus began but for some reason his throat closed around it. "I would never…"
"Didn't think you would," Gajeel said smoothly, his smile vicious and conceited. Calloused hands slipped up his chest. He splayed his fingers over his heart, where he burned the most. The tips of his fingers dug gently there and Laxus glared at Gajeel, wishing he'd just bring out his talons, "You tasted blood on your teeth one too many times, you've you lost your taste for sugar. You want something that'll fight back."
How did he know? Why wasn't he angry? Laxus wanted him angry.
Gajeel winced, trailed his other hand up to where Laxus held him, easing a digit between his palms, gently pushing him to loosen his grip, "Careful... you're sharp."
Laxus hummed in response, eyes trailing down Gajeel's jawline to the delicate soft of his neck. His nails had changed; an ugly shade of yellow that had somehow honed to keen points. Not talons, not in the same way as Gajeel, but still unbearably sharp. He realized that the blood he'd smelled was slipping down Gajeel's throat to his collarbone, pooling there before slithering down and staining the lip of his shirt. Dampened skin colored with watered down scarlet. The impulse to lean close, to run his tongue against it, taste it, bite down and draw more, incited a hot flash straight to his groin. A possessive noise dug its claws into his esophagus.
He realized Gajeel had spoken less because he had heard it, and more because he'd felt the vibration of it under his fingers. It took a moment to focus on his face. He narrowed his eyes, confused. He felt like he was peering through a fog.
"I said, hold your breath and take a step back," Gajeel said sternly. The scarlet of his eyes was glittering with something. He liked how they looked half-lidded, "Yer gonna set yourself off… and we're in the middle of the street."
Reluctantly, he did. Holding his breath made the growing burn in his chest ease just the tiniest bit. He could think just a little clearer. When had he leaned so close to Gajeel? He straightened, but he didn't step back. He was too busy watching the way Gajeel's throat moved when he clenched and released his jaw, trying to swallow down something on the other side of his teeth.
"You figured it out, yet?" Gajeel asked, and at Laxus's blank expression, he let out a breathy chuckle of disbelief. This was... familiar. "You're goin' inta heat."
A flash of ravaging light blinded them all when it struck down right next to the two of them. He heard someone cry out in alarm, but when the light vanished again it was still just the two of them there, eyes locked together as what Gajeel had said began to sink in. He remembered a conversation just like this… holding Gajeel by his throat against the wall of a cave… and what had come swiftly after.
"You know I… can't…" How surreal. Nostalgic. His heart skipped a beat. The fire burning inside of him immediately flushed with dread, drowning out the rage, "I'm not… a real s-slayer…"
Gajeel gave him a confused look that melted into one with a little more understanding, "Y'sure look like one."
Gajeel nodded downwards, silently telling him to look. Hesitantly, with more than a little trepidation, Laxus looked down to a puddle at his feet. His stomach twisted. There, reflected back at him, was a man startlingly similar to, but not quite, him. His hair shimmered a little differently, not so much a brilliant blonde as an electric yellow. There were rough patches across his arms, and his skin responded to his notice by prickling with a despicable itch. Impulsively, he snapped back a hand to scratch at his neck, rubbing against something silken until his nails caught an edge. Scales… scales lined his throat, his arms. They weren't like Gajeel's, they weren't impenetrable armor, but more an adornment that sloped up the back of his neck and stopped before the soft of his throat, framed his jawline, and ran the length of his arms. Laxus could only guess at their ending. He ran his tongue against long, sharp canines, apical and ready for a bite, and oozing something bitter, and thick, and nauseating. Laxus's eyes were wrong too, turning to fierce, draconic slits when his lightning flashed and then expanding large and animalistic once again when doused in darkness. If it weren't for the eyes, for the venom, he would have thought he'd somehow accidently activated his Dragon Force.
"Guess I can't be callin' ya fairy when you're looking like that, can I?" Gajeel said, his voice dropping to a purr as he rested his head against the pillar behind him, displaying plainly his neck and the mark Laxus had left so long ago, in a situation just like this, "I like it... I think it looks pretty."
Static bounced and rolled in Laxus's gut as the realization befell him like a curse. He shook his head, slightly at first in his disbelief, and then rigorously in horrible denial. Heat lightning glared overhead, breaking the sky over and over again as his anxiety swelled into terror. The discordant cacophony of thunder shook through every part of him. Lightning arched and seared into what was grounding him, the many pillars of iron keeping him from causing inadvertent harm. Violence, he held so much violence.
This couldn't be happening. No. No, this couldn't be happening!
"No reason to be gettin' upset, Sparky." Gajeel said, seeing straight through him in an instant. He reached out a caught Laxus's hands as he snapped them both back, not allowing him to retreat, "It's just a management problem."
A management problem. A management problem.
Bickslow was still slumped against a scorched tree, his body partially burned and trembling from exhaustion, pain, and fear. Freed was cradling his burned hand, eyes trying to calculate what to do if Gajeel needed help. Juvia was standing in a puddle of her own making, shaking and barely containing her terror in the presence of him. Levy was peeking out from behind Lily and Mirajane, the Exceed who couldn't do much more than be swept away by his rampage and a demon who barely withstood him. Erza was at the edge of Gajeel's spears, clad in her Heaven's Wheel Armor, her gaze pinned to Laxus, hands twitching to summon more swords at a moment's notice. And Gajeel... Gajeel...
"Let me go..." Laxus whispered, horrified.
"No." Gajeel said firmly, his grip turning to manacles around his wrists. Laxus felt a shiver building again, bit down on it, tried to push it away. "It's ok, Laxus. It's just instinct."
Nightmare clawed up his throat. The bitterness he'd felt he would choke on was venom. This whole time? His stomach knotted.
"I'm going to hurt you..." Laxus's voice trembled, leaving him with rapid breaths. "Let me go, Gajeel. Please."
"You won't hurt me. You don't want to," he replied easily, but something about him was closed off, carefully constrained in vermillion eyes and lips that didn't open fully, that didn't show his teeth. His soaked hair still fell over one shoulder, exposing the mark on his neck. The mark Laxus had left, a permanent reminder of when he'd almost killed him.
"I will. I-I already have..." Laxus's breathing was so erratic it was starting to make him lightheaded. He dragged his eyes over the thin splitting of skin he'd left when he'd held Gajeel by the throat. He wanted to leave more, deeper, "I... I want to... Gajeel, please, let me go...!"
"Roses and their thorns, hm? I think you're worth bleeding for," Gajeel hummed. He blinked at him slowly, his voice slick and low. He flipped one of his wrists over, drew it close, and planted a kiss there that spread fire up his arm. Rutile eyes flashed in time with shivering lightning, "You can hurt me like that s'more, if you'd like. I don't mind it."
Those words could have damned him. His mind's eye turned against him, picturing what it would feel like to dig his nails into him, to run his tongue against the lacerations left behind. To taste blood, to make Gajeel groan. Pleasure and pain, glorious things entwined together. He wanted his hand around Gajeel's throat when his back was arched and they were both breathless. To dig his teeth in, to strike them both with lightning, he craved violence.
That despicable feeling surged through his body again, and Laxus gasped from the intensity. His dread whipped into a froth, became a dark cloud that rose up and engulfed him. What he did was a snap reaction. He struck him, thinking the entire time get away from me. What else was he supposed to do? But with his control as meager as it was, it broke the sky open. Gajeel was thrown back from him, fell atop the spears he'd summoned and bent them beneath him. Laxus stumbled back as far as he could from him, stopped by that same barrier. He heard the clamor of their comrades but he was too busy studying Gajeel's chest, the way his body curled when he was in pain. A scarlet eye rolled open, distant with agony as electricity still rived across his skin.
"P-Put down your spears..." Laxus said through clenched teeth. His chest was still livid. Striking him with lightning did nothing but fan the flames inside of him. The noise Gajeel made when he was in pain sounded so close to another, a response to a completely different sensation. He couldn't tell which one he wanted to hear more. It blurred too closely together, one shade of red into another. His flesh skittered, his borders blurred. He gasped and doubled over, wrapping his arms around himself like it would hold himself together any better, "I can't do this again-"
"What did I do that you'd think so little of me?" Gajeel's voice was rough. He pushed himself up shakily, "You think that rattled me? Maybe some things about me haven't changed, but I'm a different man than I once was..."
"Gajeel..." his voice twisted into something sharp and broken, "Are you depressed? Or do you just feel guilty? I don't need... I don't... I don't want..."
"I don't want to kill myself, Laxus. I haven't wanted to in a while." he replied bluntly, speaking through his teeth. "I'm tryin' real hard to set my ego down, but yer startin' to insult me."
"Then you're delusional. In one night I... not even one night, Gajeel. I almost killed you after fifteen minutes of hell-" his hands were shaking. Thunder. Lightning. His magic swelled even though he didn't intend for it to happen. It sparked where it jumped towards iron pillars, snapping at everything near it, "Don't come near me."
Gajeel rolled his eyes like Laxus had just said something ridiculous. The corner of his lip quirked up in a smirk as he disregarded his concern completely.
"Do you think I scare so easily? Of all the things I've lived through, Laxus Dreyar, you don't even come close to the worst of it." Gajeel scoffed, stepping towards him, "This entire relationship has been a storm. Do ya really think I'd be scared of your little light show, now? Some thunder?"
"I can't… think… I can't control this, Gajeel. Please," he should have sounded scared, terrified, but it didn't come out that way. It sounded like he was begging for Gajeel to come close, like he was begging for more, "It hurts... to try..."
"Some things ain't about control. Some things were never meant to be controlled," he said, looking more and more like some terrible, midnight depravity approaching him. He might have been, if something in Laxus didn't tremble for him to come closer. He pressed himself against iron pikes, "Your need to control it is the problem."
"I don't want to hurt anyone else," Laxus shivered. "I can't... keep it in."
He'd almost killed Gajeel last time. He'd sent bolt after bolt into him, broken his body, made him bleed. He'd begged him to stop and in blind rage Laxus had ignored it... and he'd ignored his friends when they'd begged him to stop killing Bickslow. Unstoppable. He was unstoppable.
His lightning shifted and pitched upwards, spreading even father around him. Thunder pressed down on them like a sea overhead. Thunder, like an earthquake coming. Thunder, like the ocean when in strength and breadth and length besets itself upon the shore. He couldn't keep it in. It ran rampant with his panic, with his guilt, with his burning desire.
"You're not supposed to keep it in. You're a dragon slayer, Laxus. You were made to feel things deeply," Gajeel said, gritting his teeth. His hands were balled into fists and he was leaning into the wind, bracing to not be swept away by Laxus's despair, "It's a part of you. It's in your blood, your magic. It's ok to feel the way you do."
Laxus didn't want to activate lightning body. He didn't want to run. But it wasn't for pride. He didn't trust himself not to run straight for him, for the man approaching him now with eyes flashing with each stray bit of lightning that snapped too close to him. Gajeel didn't flinch. He never flinched. Even when it seared up his arms, his legs, leaving livid red tracks up his skin. He approached him like nothing was wrong, like Laxus wasn't electrifying him with each piece of himself he couldn't bring back inside his body.
"How is any of this ok?" Laxus yelled, his words all but whisked away from him in his storm. "I don't like this!"
He was going to lose it. Each step Gajeel took towards him made him feel like he was losing his mind. He didn't want him to come any closer, he didn't want to hurt him again. He didn't want to wake up confused about what happened and realize he'd almost killed him. That he had killed him. He didn't… he didn't… he wanted... he wanted to bring him close. Closer…
Closer than he'd ever been. He wanted to pull him open and grind against his marrow. He wanted to fill the atmosphere with particles of iron and electricity.
He wanted to burn them both alive.
"I want to hurt you. I don't like this!"
"Laxus…" Gajeel's tone was deceptively even but also impatient. He gave him a hard look before seemingly deciding something. He sighed, thinking of something Laxus could only guess at. His eyes ran around them, taking in their surroundings for just a moment. When he spoke, his voice held a barely contained warning, "Juvia, you should leave. Erza, now would be a good time for that armor. Jet and Lily... make sure everyone gets clear."
Magic activated and Laxus tried to ignore it, to disregard the call in him to stomp it out in his wake. He did. Truly, he did! But instinct screamed so much louder than his rational mind. He straightened, caught a flash of light and movement. His magic shifted under his command, readying a devastating strike at the next thing that moved, but something even more dangerous broke through his concentration, demanded his attention. Gajeel activated his magic, calling iron into being that didn't take shape, that fled from him just like it had when they'd argued at the temple. Iron filings caught fire, sizzled and dissipated as their two elements raged against each other.
Gajeel's red eyes refracted livid static. He bared his teeth and Laxus's insides frenzied. Oh gods, yes. Gajeel was getting angry...
Gajeel's voice devolved into something low and animalistic, "Freed, Shorty, I need you to keep us in here for a minute."
Laxus's stomach twisted and he remembered he didn't want to fight. He desperately wanted to draw blood.
"Gajeel, please..." he wasn't sure what he was asking for anymore.
"I'm gonna make you upset," he said coldly, "I'm sorry."
"Gajeel...!" his voice rumbled in the sky with his thunder, "You of all people should know how easy it would be for me to kill you... with lightning."
"It's just fer a minute, Sparky, I promise. It ain't gonna be long."
Glittering, purple runes sprang to life and Laxus's panic climbed to a new height. His atoms tore apart in an eyeblink, but Gajeel responded even more viciously. His magic exploded outward, sending iron to shred through the ground beneath them. It carded through his energy, thousands of tiny cuts and abrasions that made his form skitter and writhe. If he'd been in his right mind, he'd be able to grit his teeth and withstand it, but as it was, it felt like the horrible sensation of his heat was consuming him. He snapped back into being and tumbled to the ground. Gajeel's hands were there to catch him, but he desperately didn't want that. Anything but that.
"Don't touch me!"
A shockwave expanded around him with the sole purpose of pushing Gajeel away. He slammed a shoulder into one of his many pillars, gripped onto it to keep from tumbling backward. His eyes flashed and Laxus dropped to his knees.
"You need to stop, Sparky," Gajeel yelled over thunder, still not driven from whatever wretched goal he had in mind, "You're gonna burn yourself up."
Laxus wrapped his arms back around himself, shaking, claws shredded through his clothes where he gripped himself too tightly, frantic to stop himself, to see a color other than bleeding red. The pain anchored him, kept him from moving. The smell of blood propelled him onward. He was intoxicated by it. His eyes were blinded by white light as lightning struck between them, feet away from Gajeel. It would have brought him to his knees if it had connected.
"Juvia told me to talk to you about this shit ages ago... to tell you how it felt. I didn't want to. How do you...? Put it to words? And I never thought this was where we'd be, yanno? I... I wasn't... Fuck, it's hard to think." he carded his fingers through his hair, and bared his teeth for an instant before he could pull himself back together, "I wasn't keeping it from ya, I promise. It's just... it's scary, isn't it? It's wrong to feel this way. Obsession is only destructive, it's never good."
"What are you talking about...?" Laxus said miserably.
"The day Juvia found you by the river, she told me to talk to you. I wouldn't do it. It's… so personal." Gajeel huffed, "And I didn't know how I felt about you back then, Sparky, just that whatever it was, it was strong. I thought it would be better if we just stayed away from each other."
Gajeel's eyes rolled to the side as runes snapped in place, sealing them together without a hope for escape. Laxus's storm raged in the tiny space, whipping Gajeel's shirt back from him, revealing glimpses of bare skin for a slim second before it was thrashed back into place. His lightning raged against invisible walls, already chewing at the runes. It wouldn't contain him for long.
"Both of us bein' out of our minds ain't a great thing right now. I'll try not ta get carried away. But you know me, I ain't never cared about people staring and you've got your hooks in me..." Gajeel said lowly, his eyes flashing. "Extremes are scary, ain't they? And you never let yourself go like this. Anger turns into rage. Happiness turns into ecstasy. Sadness to depression. Fear to terror. Love, obsession. All that shit scares you, don't it?"
Green magic pressed against Laxus's thunder, a curl like a cat rolling its body against him.
Oh gods, he could crush him in his hands if he wanted... It would be easy.
"I ain't got nothing pretty to say to you today, fairy," he purred, a villainous smirk tugging across his face, "but I can tell you some awful things. Awful things about me..."
Gajeel's head tilted to the side as he gazed at him, eyes glinting in the darkness of Laxus's storm like distant funeral pyres, drawing him in, hypnotizing him. Laxus felt itching pins throb across his body. He dug his claws in deeper, trying to focus on anything except the need to tear into the man in front of him. As if in response, Gajeel's smile grew until he was bearing his canines at him. Something manic and hedonistic was narrowly contained and threatening to break loose; a wolf at the end of a chain wishing someone would step close enough that it could deface their body with bone-crushing teeth. It howled like the blood in his eyes, like the gale around them. Laxus's stomach swooped at seeing it there, seeing it craving him.
"Your violence doesn't scare me, Laxus. Not because I'm delusional, but because I know how possessive you feel right now. When you came to the safe house, the first thought I had was to rip out your heart so it would be mine forever. Every time I dug my claws into you I didn't want to just leave marks, I wanted to take bites out of you, leave scars so everyone who ever saw you would know yer mine. The places where your skin touched mine were awful. I couldn't stand it. Not because I didn't like it. I loved it. But it wasn't enough. Being with you wasn't enough, I wanted to live inside you, too. Just having you wasn't enough. It's never enough. It's intense, Laxus. It's bloodthirsty. I know. I've felt it."
Iron saturated the air, giving it weight, giving it sharpness. Laxus could taste bitter venom and his chest burned bright and livid. He shook as he tried to hold still, tried not to react to the terror making itself known to him.
This terror that he remembered so well, that had stared like a nightmare before it had dragged him to the bed, torn him open, and eaten him in his entirety...
"We've switched places, hm? I feel it in your magic. It speaks to me in a way, like mine does to yours. I'm not scared like you were. I'm excited. I don't want you like you want me. I never have. I want you like this. Wild, insatiable, overwhelming. I told ya, you're worth bleeding for, Laxus, but to be honest I want so much more than just that."
The tips of Gajeel's fingers were edging with silver as he stepped ever closer, a slope to his spine like he'd spring on him and kill him. He'd seen this very stance so many times through the stoic lens of a lacrima. With bated breath he searched to see the flash of a knife.
"Gajeel..." he hissed. He wasn't begging him to stay back anymore.
"I'm tryin' so hard to stay delicate about it, but how am I supposed to nicely tell you that I'm a waking hell right now?" he said, looking more and more feral by the second. Iron scales were up to his elbows and his talons flexed like they wished his flesh was there to rend, "My feelings never changed, Laxus, they just got stronger. You're still a god to me but now I crave the taste of your divinity. I'll worship you, however you want, in any way you tell me to. I'm begging you to have me, to give me a purpose. I want be your waking terror, spilling midnight on your altars. I can be your servant because I'm too unholy to be anything else. Or I can be your victim and your blade. I want you to break my skin and drain me. I want you to keep me sharp and test my worth in blood. Anything, I'll do anything for you. I'll watch for your enemies, or just anyone who stands in your way. They can face each sharp edge of me before they ever have the chance to touch you. And when they're nothing in the wake of you, I want to fuel the pyre that burns their bodies to ash. I want to swallow your world, Laxus... I am obsessed with you."
He was so close. Laxus could see the frantic swelling of his ribcage in his excitement. Burning pain made Laxus's vision haze over. He shivered, consumed by heat. In abject rapture he watched Gajeel stop before him, tilt his head down so he could look through his eyelashes at him.
"You have no idea the terror I've felt these past days thinking you wouldn't want me anymore…"
Static bit up the iron slayer's arms where he'd manifested his scales, but if Laxus didn't know better, he would have thought it didn't hurt him at all. Gajeel gave him a wretched look, so very lecherous and sharp as fractured glass. Laxus was glad for his storm, because it stole away a wanton noise that slipped up his throat.
"I told you I couldn't love you in a way that was healthy, a way that was good. But it's too late now. You can't be unlearned from me. I've known too much of your softness. If this wasn't what you wanted, then you should have known better than to ever let me in. But you didn't just let me in, you chased me down and dragged me inside. Don't afford me any kindness, now. I don't want it." he breathed, and Laxus felt his control slipping rapidly with his love standing before him. Gajeel's eyes roved across him, not hiding what was so plainly in his mind's eye, "You told me I was beautiful. You should see how you look now. Heaven isn't as wonderful, isn't as beautiful as you are. Lit up like a star, all pealing thunder... You don't scare me. I don't want to run from you."
Laxus's magic swelled beyond his limits, rocketed even higher. He was on the edge of something, teetering, slipping, falling...
"You struck me with lightning once... do it right this time." he hummed, his eyes flickering up Laxus's body and arresting him with his gaze, open and hungry and brimming with a horrible kind of devotion. Gajeel presented his taloned hand, claws sharp as knives brandished not as a threat, but entreating in delectable invitation, "Be relentless. Overwhelm me."
Laxus lost several things at once, the most important of them being his mind. Heat flushed throughout his entire body. Frisson made his already limited field of view fade away to nothing but blood red. He lunged, grabbing Gajeel by his steel-clad arms. The raven stumbled back, catching him and wrapping his arms around him, pulling him dreadfully close and hopelessly not close enough at the same time. The last of Laxus's frail restraint slipped through his fingers and his magic razed past its every boundary, every limit it had ever had. Wings opened and spread wide, the roar of a dragon broke through the glorious rage of his tempest. He heard the shattering of glass, was blinded by flash after endless flash of light. He didn't hear thunder though, because he was too lost in the sound Gajeel made when his lips crashed into his.
Gajeel staggered beneath him, falling to his knees as Laxus clutched at his back, dug in his claws. When his knees hit the ground, he felt something coiling around his legs, fastening him in place. He didn't care to process what it was, what it meant. His nose was running up the length of Gajeel's jaw, breathing in that awful, maddening scent that so encouraged him to lose his sanity, his restraint, his reason. He forced a savage hand into Gajeel's hair, fisted into it, dragged his head back to expose his throat. He heard the raven's wild laughter, caught somewhere between euphoria and insanity. He bit down as hard as he could, awaiting the sweet, metallic taste of blood.
It never came, just unbearable pressure against his teeth as he dug in as harshly as he could. He heard Gajeel gasp his name and shudder in his grasp, every part of him open and begging for more even though he held him sure and still. For what felt like an age but was really just a handful of minutes, Laxus's magical storm raged unchecked for the first time in his entire life. It had shattered the runes which held them in. Lightning and thunder roved rampant and destructive across Magnolia. If anyone tried to stop it, it was lost to Laxus when he held Gajeel so tightly to his chest, so blisteringly lost in the taste, scent, feel of him, of their magic entwining, growing impossibly stronger.
Gajeel's head was thrown back, eyes wide as he gazed up into the cyclone of them. Laxus would never know what he saw there, the dance of their magic together turning, changing. Down to the barest parts of them, their molecules that buzzed and frenzied, became not just tangled but inextricable from each other, melting one into the other, confused, indissoluble, united. Silver galvanized with lightning, flashed white. Darkness bleached with indiscriminate and passionate light. Laxus felt him shake, his hold on him deepening until talons broke the skin of his back.
"Oh, gods alive, Laxus..." he choked, but Laxus didn't sense fear. What he did sense made his entire body shatter with rhapsody so intense he was dizzy, "You're fucking beautiful."
With his surrender came an awful, blissful fatigue as Laxus burned himself out. A relief. A reverie. He was left nothing but dazed abstraction. For a blistering moment, Laxus couldn't think or feel past the body shaking in his arms, past the throat that gave beneath his teeth. The ending was as painful as the beginning. The fire in Laxus's chest lost some of its harmful bite, leaving him feeling like the sky cracking in the wake of morning. He slumped in Gajeel's arms, realizing why the bite hadn't done its intended purpose when he found himself resting his forehead against iron scales.
Silence descended. His static was no longer out to cause pain but shivering up around them like scattered fairies taking flight, spiraling from the ground, lifted by thermal wind and the hysterical need for balance. Silvery flecks shifted up with them, rained down like sharp snow. Each reflective sliver refracted light into thousands of polychrome, kaleidoscopic speckles on the ground. It didn't look real, and Laxus didn't feel real watching it.
He felt Gajeel gasping for breath. He shivered when the iron dragon buried his nose into the crook of his neck and breathed him in deeply. His sigh whispered down his throat, his chest. Laxus's awful tremors had lost their cruel edge now that he'd run himself thin. But despite his body's response being much more subdued, he could feel it there still, waiting to reemerge once he'd gathered back his strength. For now, he was just exhausted.
"Fuck, Laxus, what have I done to you? Left you alone too long again? I hope you can forgive me..." Gajeel's voice was hoarse. He'd brought his hand up and was running his thumb across his cheek, softly brushing the scar over his eye. The gentle touch made his heart ache, "You look tired, Fairy. Don't tell me you haven't been sleeping... because of me?"
"I was waiting for you to come back..." Laxus whispered against his neck, "...sleepin' on the couch."
"Why ya doin' that for? Hoping to draw me home like a moth to your flame? Goddamn, Sparky... when will you learn to stop lighting yourself on fire to keep me warm?" he sighed, drawing him back so he could gaze down at him, "You fairies... ya know so much about love but shit about devotion. Desperate to be martyrs, every single one of ya."
Laxus furrowed his brow, "I just... wanted to wait for you."
"Yeah... just like you just went to the Bloodgood Atheneum to find out what was wrong with you and got chased by a sphinx for asking questions about me? You just asked the Major's bastard brother for answers despite the pain it caused? You just cut yourself open... so you wouldn't hurt me?" his voice dropped into an unamused growl as he let his delicate caress slide down the blonde's arms, plucking at where his shirt had been ruined by his claws, "You keep setting yourself on fire for me. But ya never consider what will happen when you finally burn yourself up. Who will keep me warm when your fire is gone?"
Laxus was stunned looking up at him, not quite sure what to say, "You say that like you didn't just trap yourself here with me... while I completely lost it."
"That's because if yer gonna insist on burnin' Laxus, then I'm burnin' with you." he said, looking deeply into him, speaking straight into his soul. The reticence in him was gone. His eyes swam with something primal, still frothing at the mouth to have him, unsatisfied. Laxus's chest felt tight. How could he be so composed when he yearned so deeply? "Maybe it's 'cause of where I came from, but I ain't settin' myself on fire for you... I'm selfish like that. I don't want anyone to have the chance to warm you except for me. That don't mean I'd ever let you go cold. Laxus, I'd burn every soul in Fiore one by one if I thought it might keep the chill from you, and then I'd burn the world."
Laxus breathed Gajeel's name, and Gajeel smoothed his fingers against his jawline, cupping his face.
"The same way you don't want me to die for you, Laxus, stop burning for me. I don't want it."
Laxus nodded slowly, all his zeal gone. Now he just felt achingly empty and tired.
"We got a few hours, probably, b'fore you get goin' again..." Gajeel murmured, his expression unbearably soft, "Ever been to the Casraines? North of Oak Town?"
"Oak Town?" Laxus said, "Isn't that... where Phantom Lord was?"
"Was," Gajeel said, "T's where I came from... when my dad left."
Laxus's eyes widened with astonishment, immediately understanding what Gajeel didn't say out loud. He wanted to take him to a place no one knew anything about, a place that meant the world to him. Laxus's heart throbbed. How could he still fall more in love with this man?
"T's beautiful out there," he continued, not skipping a beat, "Quiet. They have all these old growth forests. Only a few hours away by train."
"You want to take me..."
"Just a trip," Gajeel said gently, lovingly, like that was truly all this was. Laxus almost believed it, "Tryna avoid hotel complaints, property damage, and intrusive magazine articles. Besides, you can't exactly stay home. I learned ta fix a lotta things, Laxus, but I can't fix a burned-out house. I think the landlord might get a little pissed."
Laxus's breath left him, "Are you... sure?"
"Of course," Gajeel said, his voice warm where it fell over him, "I actually thought about it for a while. Had a lotta down time while I was in prison to think about if this ever happened. Couldn't be somewhere dry, or you'd start a fire. It rains there a lot. A little chilly this time of year but the cold doesn't bother me and well, feelin' the way you do now, it'll be nice. And, I know how you like to watch the stars. Out there, you can see them for miles... like you could fall straight into them."
"It sounds like... you're asking me to run away with you." Laxus said, a soft smile on his face.
Gajeel's eyes were kind, flashing yellow with reflected light, glinting at him like enkindled rubies, "Just for a little while... and then we'll come back. Just like last time."
Laxus nodded and then buried his face into his lover's chest. He pressed his nose against his skin, only opening his eyes when he felt the pull of magic and tasted iron on his tongue. A hand carded through soaked blonde hair as metallic scales faded. The tightness that clamped his legs down shifted and fell away from him. Jagged spears dissipated in fine green light.
"Did you... tie down my legs?" Laxus asked, puzzled, "Why did you tie down my legs?"
"For the same reason I wouldn't let you bite me. Not yet. Yer such a private man, Laxus," Gajeel whispered against his temple, his voice thick and melodious, containing mischief, "As much as I would enjoy you ravaging me in the middle of the street, figured ya might get a little upset since most of our closest friends are around."
"Oh..." Laxus's eyes snapped wide and he blushed so hard the tips of his ears burned, "Oh, shit..."
"I mean, I just stood here and said I wanted to rip your heart out of your chest so... I think out of the two of us, I'm the one who sounded the most insane. If yer embarrassed, though, I can be so much worse." he chuckled darkly, turning so his voice was now tumbling down his throat. His hand trailed down Laxus's back, ran down his side and hip until he rested it possessively on his thigh and squeezed, "I was tryin' ta be a bit refined, but when I said I wanted to worship you, Laxus, I did mean on my knees."
"Stop, stop, stop..." Laxus hissed, still incredibly mortified of what just moments ago he was willing to do out in broad daylight in the middle of the street surrounded by stranger's houses and their closest friends, "I don't want to... not here, Gajeel..."
"Yeah... didn't figure so," he chuckled, pulling back from him again. Laxus looked up at him blearily, only able to focus on his face. Gajeel gave him a tender look, "You give my heart wings to fly."
Laxus sighed, "You are the magic in my veins."
Gajeel smiled and placed a chaste kiss on his eyebrow. Slowly, and with ample amounts of caution, he extrapolated himself from Laxus. He held his hand like some sort of white knight, helping him stumble his way out of the decimation he had caused. Evergreen, Freed, and even Mirajane were waiting anxiously on the other side of iron pillars. Freed and Evergreen both let out relieved sighs and Mirajane jumped up into his arms, nearly knocking him over where his knees were still weak. Erza stood near Bickslow with crossed arms. Though she didn't have her Lightning Empress Armor on, it was clear she was making sure Laxus didn't get close. Bickslow's eyes were trained to the ground, refusing to look at either of them.
Gajeel stepped back from him and sagged against one of his pillars, his hands barely trembling until they began to almost violently shake. Lily alighted on his shoulder. Juvia slipped silently to the raven's side and gave him a nervous once over, clutching her umbrella tightly.
"Are you alright?" Levy asked timidly, tucking a strand of blue hair behind her ear. Jet was half a step behind her, protective and flighty.
"The adrenaline's wearin' off..." he explained, though it sounded less like he was addressing anyone in particular and more like he was talking to himself. His voice was hazardous and unsettled. His eyes were still fierce, and he crossed his arms tightly over his chest like he was trying to hold something in. "Goddamn."
Laxus's stomach clenched with guilt, "Did I hurt you?"
"Hm? No. It's just, I got a little too excited. Y-you... you really do have more magical energy in you than I could ever dream of havin', don't you?"
Laxus scratched at the back of his neck, hesitating when his nails caught against scales that were very much still there. He didn't really know how to respond, so he said, "Why did you think I was so scared of hurting you, Gajeel?"
"Yeah but… you just have all that? Inside? All the time?" he asked with a laugh that was jittery and sharp. Laxus shrugged and Gajeel's eyes widened, incredulous. He ran a shivering hand against his mouth, "Fuck... I really, really want a cigarette. Hajime offered me a pack. I shoulda taken it. But I didn't know... what I was walkin' home ta."
Laxus's eyes flashed to Bickslow's ruined house and back to him, "I know where you left yours."
He followed his gaze and snorted, shaking his head vehemently, "Oh no. I ain't goin' back in there with you... like that. I should be cuttin' 'em out anyway. Just give me a minute, Sparky. I'll calm down... I think I have another pack at home, actually... and a lighter."
"Did I... scare you?" Laxus asked.
"No," he said eagerly. His eyes widened when he realized how he sounded, a lopsided grin coming to his face. His gaze flashed to each of their friends standing around them, "I'll, uh, I'll explain it to ya... later."
"Here."
Laxus snapped his head around to see Bickslow standing just a couple steps away, Erza shadowing him with a cautious look to Laxus. He didn't come any closer, and his totems were still stacked where he had been leaning against the scorched tree just moments prior. In his hand was a package of cigarettes that he lobbed to Gajeel. Gajeel, whose hands were still shaking violently, tried to catch it but it fell from his hands. Lily scooped them up and handed them over.
"Thanks, Bix," he said easily, plainly, like nothing had happened between them. Like everything was fine and normal. Laxus narrowed his eyes at him and decided maybe he needed to hang back from the group as he waited, already feeling something aggressive stirring now that Bickslow had stepped up closer.
After Gajeel's hands stopped shaking, the raven leaned towards Juvia and said something softly to her. Whatever it was that he said, a hesitant smile broke across her face. With it, the cold tinge of her magic dissipated, and the rain stopped. The sun broke through the clouds, dousing them all in its warmth. The intensity in her gaze eased and her shoulders relaxed.
"You're too good to me, Juv," he said, and she shook her head.
She smiled, "Gajeel is nice to Juvia."
"Gotta change somethin' around here. Jet called me nice, too. My reputation is bein' ruined." he grinned devilishly over to Jet whose eyes bulged, and he blushed.
"Jet said that?" Levy asked, incredulous.
"Only cause I took real good care of him," Gajeel teased slyly, "Been workin' on my aftercare. Think it's payin' off."
"I just said it because I was drunk," Jet hissed, "I take it back."
While they chattered away pretending everything was fine, Laxus gazed over at Bickslow, trying not to glare, not to stand wide and possessive. Erza gave him a wary look, though she could probably sense he wasn't gearing up to fight. Bickslow looked over at him out of the corner of his eye and then flashed his gaze back down again, so ashamed he couldn't even look at him. He, too, took a step back, but also a step closer to him... and then another. Wincing as he moved, clearly in pain, clearly nervous – as he should be – he approached Laxus and stopped just a few paces away. Erza's stance changed, ready to move quickly if needed. It made the aggression in Laxus snap a tad harder.
"I'm... sorry Laxus." his eyes were bloodshot like he was about to cry. It disarmed him. In all the years he had known Bickslow, seeing him on the verge of tears like this was such a rarity. It was genuine, and the bite in Laxus eased when he witnessed it.
"I think... we're even," Laxus said at length. His eyes roved over his shoulders; the places he could see burned skin. He wasn't mortally injured, but it was clear he needed an infirmary. Laxus took a shivering breath, "I also went too far."
Bickslow blinked a few times, dismayed, "What?"
"We've been friends since we were kids..." he started and stopped again, "I didn't want to hurt you, Bix. I wanted to kill you. I would have... if Juvia hadn't stepped in."
"Yeah. I know." he said quietly. Slowly, and with strain in his tone, he continued, "We're not friends anymore... are we?"
Laxus clenched and unclenched his jaw. He didn't answer the question because he didn't really want to think about it. "You need to apologize to Gajeel. You have no idea... what he's been through."
"Yeah." he whispered.
Laxus's chest hurt. To not just lose a friend, but also to break apart the Raijinshuu, was a hard blow. The four of them for decades had been inseparable. They'd had squabbles, but they were close. Bickslow was one of his best friends, closer to him than Freed. But he hadn't just betrayed him. He'd hurt someone he loved, purposefully, and without regret. It hurt. The whole situation hurt. He didn't know, really, what to do. Did he even know a scenario similar to this one that he could draw wisdom from? To not be trapped in his inability to move? To move on, if he even could…
His eyes swept to Gajeel. He was leaning towards Juvia, telling her something that made her laugh. They were friends... after everything he had done to her. Somehow, someway, he'd made it right. At his side, Levy had taken out her stylus and was writing the word light, so he could smoke, and then wrote iron into existence. A woman he had once crucified to a tree and left to die alongside her two best friends had gone from terrified, to infatuated, to friendly. And even though Jet was standoffish, he was here and it was clear something had changed between them because even he was beginning to speak in friendlier tones to the iron dragon.
There had been a time when Laxus had hated his grandfather for letting in Gajeel, for allowing the man who destroyed their guild, their name, in. Laxus had thought back then it was to keep him from attacking them again, dragging their reputation through the mud, making them all look weaker. In reality it had been a chance to walk back into the light. Not redemption, but a way to be better than he once was. A second chance. A second chance Laxus had been afforded as well when Gildarts had let him back in.
Laxus took a breath, trying to steady himself.
"You need to apologize to Gajeel for what you did to him. If he can forgive you..." he hesitated, "I'll... I'll let it go."
A hard silence fell, and Gajeel looked over at the two of them. Bickslow didn't look him in the eye, and it was hard to tell if it was from shame or his desire to not be perceived as a threat. Gajeel, by this point, was probably terrified of his eyes.
"Ain't nothin' to forgive," Gajeel said gruffly, smoking his cigarette like nothing was the matter, "I should have never been there in the first place."
Laxus gave him a menacing look, "Gajeel..."
"I've played this game before. I should have known better... I should have just gone home." he said, and Laxus's stomach twisted. He felt more than saw Erza take a step closer.
"Not everything can be your fault, Gajeel." he said icily.
"It can be… if it keeps you two from hating each other…" Gajeel just shrugged, and gave him a roguish look, "I get you wanna defend my honor, Sparky, but I gotta have honor to defend for that."
Laxus restrained an argument because Erza took yet another step closer, and Mirajane was looking at him like she was trying to figure out if he was going to get violent. He didn't want to make another scene... and he was still so tired. He meticulously took a breath in and let it out, attempting to remain calm.
"I gave my word. I'll forgive you." Laxus said, and trailed his gaze back to Bickslow who looked more and more like he was going to cry, "But Bix, I won't forget what you did."
He looked startled, but he didn't argue. He rubbed at his eyes with his palm. Laxus pretended he didn't know he was crying. He gritted his teeth, though, and tried very, very hard to be vulnerable. He hesitated and then stepped towards him, ignoring the tension as he reached out and grabbed Bickslow's arm. Bickslow stumbled into him, confused for just a moment before he realized what was happening. Laxus... hugged him.
"You're like a brother to me, Bix," he said, and felt him sag against him, "If you're hurting... tell me. I can't fix something if I don't know it's broken."
"Yeah..." he whispered, and hugged Laxus back, "...I'm sorry."
Laxus drew back from him, met his eyes, "I gotta... go. When I'm back, maybe we can go out. Talk."
Bickslow nodded wordlessly.
They took their leave. Mirajane walked close to Laxus, Lily still perched on Gajeel's shoulder, and Juvia talked away, betraying her nervousness despite how she desperately wanted to be there for Gajeel. Laxus tried not to be mortified by half of the things she said. He didn't know how Gajeel could stand it. The entire walk she hardly took a breath, talking about true love and BL and Gajeel and Laxus finally being able to make up after their awful fight.
"Juvia..." Gajeel warned her after she started on a fantasy about the two of them out in the forests of the Casraines and Gajeel calling Laxus a god, "...you need to bring it down a little. Yer gonna give Laxus a heart attack."
"When did Gajeel become so romantic?" she gushed.
"Ha! I wouldn't call it romantic," Gajeel said, something untamed slipping into his voice. "I think carnal is more the word yer lookin' for."
"Maybe Gajeel is a little lewd. Saying things like he wants to swallow Laxus's world."she said sarcastically as she gave him a critical look. A grin broke across her features that rivaled the mischief Gajeel's could hold, "Juvia wonders what that could mean?"
"A-Ahh..." Laxus stifled a feverish blush and shivered. He couldn't even walk anymore, just stood there in a daze, "Don't… Don't do that."
Mira giggled at his expense. Lily covered his ears, not hiding a look of disdain as he shook his head at Juvia.
"You better watch it," Gajeel cautioned her sweetly, "Or I'm gonna tell Grey you said Bickslow belonged to you."
She blanched and immediately began stuttering, "Th-th-that was just to get Laxus's attention. Juvia didn't mean it! She would never fall in love with someone else other than Grey! Grey is her true love!"
"You're all crazy," Pantherlily huffed.
"Aw... don't be like that..." Gajeel grinned. "We're just havin' fun, Lil."
Lily hmphed and flew over to Laxus who was still extremely uncomfortable. Laxus folded him into his arms as gently as he could, thankful to be able to run his fingers over the Exceed's ears. His light purr was soothing, and he was able to relax the tension in his shoulders.
"Thanks, Lily," he muttered.
"Of course," he said, nuzzling his hand.
Gajeel had to help him pack his things. He kept getting distracted by the way things felt in his hands, the scent of Gajeel returning to the house, the need that was building as his body rested and regained his magical energy. His stomach twisted as they headed towards the train, as they bought tickets, and sat in a private car just for the two of them. The closeness to each other, at first a buzz in the back of Laxus's mind, became harder and harder to ignore when the train pulled from the station. Gajeel crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat, giving him a meaningful look.
"You should try to rest," he said shrewdly, "Doubt we'll be gettin' much of it here soon."
"Y-yeah, I..." he startled into stillness, realizing that he'd reached out and placed a hand on Gajeel's knee. He looked up into scarlet eyes. A strong impulse shot down his spine, to pull the raven onto his lap and have his way with him. "Gajeel..."
"I know, Fairy," he purred, gently removing his hand, "Patience feels like a punishment."
"F-fuck..." he whispered.
"Try to rest," Gajeel said again. He reached over and opened the window, letting in the fresh air. He pulled out a cigarette and lit it. He handed one to Laxus, "Give your hands something to do."
Of course, there were logistics. By the time they arrived at Oak Town's station, Laxus's skin was starting to crawl. They had to move swiftly through the streets, and Laxus was having a harder and harder time concentrating on anything other than the way Gajeel moved, than his scent which seemed to scream out to him now, taking on a warmth that made his blood simmer. Desire. Every time he caught a trace of it, heat shot straight to his groin.
He stopped when they were on the path leading back into the mountains. Laxus was breathless, clutching at his chest as he leaned against a tree.
"We have... so far to walk... don't we?" he said, his voice strained.
"Yeah..." Gajeel began, gazing over at him. His face turned stern in contemplation. After a moment, something roguish appeared. Laxus's heart began to sing at seeing it, "Unless... you want to chase me?"