Chapter 48: Too Soon to Die! For another moment, Aurora hesitated. She had always kept her past to herself, from every Pokemon she knew. And yet, in that moment, she wanted to share what had happened. She felt that the time had come. That Kel was the one who should know. Who needed to know. Maybe it was the only chance to change his mind. The only chance to save him... or maybe Aurora was insane for even thinking this. But only one way to find out...

"My story... well, there are many moments that can be seen as the beginning of the story. The day I was born, the weeks that followed... but I think it was about a year after I was born. At that time, there were four of us living on Aralsa. My family consisted of my older brother Polar, a Vulpix like myself, my father Hail, a Ninetales like I am today, and my mother... I don't remember her anymore and to be honest, I don't care. We were a pretty happy, simple family, even if it sometimes seemed that way - at least that's what Polar always told me - as if our mother didn't really care about us. Hail, on the other hand, was a great father, I even remember that myself. But... only until that day. Too early in my life, when I had to deal with suicide for the first time. Just like your girlfriend, my father was just... dead one morning. I never knew why... and it confirmed Polar's suspicions."

"When our father died, our mother left us immediately. As if out of nowhere, from one day to the next, I was left with almost no family, alone in the vastness of Kasonia. The only person I had with me was Polar. And back then, when I couldn't even really act and think without the help of others, he didn't want to give up. He himself was maybe like ten years old at the time, old enough to be able to look after me in some way at least. So we lived in Kasonia for about five more years, maybe a little more, until Polar didn't know what to do anymore. The continent didn't give us any chances. That's why we moved to Berelo. It was here that I first encountered faith. The faith that drove my brother back then. Faith in the Plot. And believe it or not... I really didn't think much of it back then. Quite the opposite. The Plot was for me... it was a strange concept that I didn't even want to understand. It disgusted me. Back then I imagined the Plot... actually exactly like what Epsilon actually is."

"Back then I saw the Plot as a force that wanted to determine the existence of Pokemon. And I resisted, just as I still do today. Everyone should be able to live their lives! No one should be controlled! Whether by the Plot or the Plot Empress. And yet... Polar did his best, driven by his faith, to somehow give us both a life worth living. At least for another three years. Because after that time, when Epsilon started to become more active... he too saw no hope. Not even the Plot could keep him goin. He had given everything for years so that we could live, and for what? He had been able to afford a smallish house due to the grace of others and sometimes it was even enough for some food. He gave his whole life for an existence like this? With him... with him I lost my last family. My father? Killed himself. My mother? Ran away. Polar? He too had killed himself that day. He had left me one last letter before he disappeared."

"In that letter he told me that I should build a life that I could enjoy. He believed that I was strong enough to follow my dreams. The Plot couldn't help him anymore, he said, but he would never stop believing. And even though his life came to an end and Polar never achieved his greatest goal, he believed to the bitter end that the Plot would help him fulfill his dreams, whether in life or afterward. That the Plot would give him a second life so that he might guide me again, even if only as part of my memory."

"It was only then, when I was sitting there, alone in the home he had given me, the letter in my paws, with no path into the future… only then did I feel the truth in my heart for the first time. The purity of the Plot. It was only then that I felt what the Plot really was. Because, unlike what I always thought, I now felt… the Plot would accompany me. But not to control. It felt as if Polar had become Plot that day. Because that is not what Plot is. Plot… that is a companion. A friend. Someone who accompanies you, in good times and bad times. Someone who gives you advice for life. But it is and remains advice. Whether you want to follow it or not is still up to you. Because the Plot is a signpost, not a guideline. And with the Plot in my heart, faith in my soul, I lived on, even when everything looked bleak. And now, ultimately, I am where I am today…"

Aurora looked away sadly.

"Do you understand now? I... never talked to anyone about this. About the pain and my path to the Plot. Maybe it's ridiculous but... it just wasn't possible. I wanted to erase the past to make it hurt less. But... I never could. And aybe now you understand why I can't let you go too. I lost my whole family to this plague of self-hatred and pain! I won't... I can't watch as more Pokemon wither away, suffering. And especially not Pokemon in my life, Pokemon like you... Pokemon who have so much to live for but just don't see it."

Silence fell again. Had Aurora's story reached Kel? Could it change something? A final chance?

"Aurora... what do you think this story will do? We're not in a fairytale! Do you think that words like that will make all my doubts disappear? That I'll suddenly start to love myself because you told me your story? This is not how the world works!"

The Ninetales was just about to intervene, still not willing to give up, when her counterpart continued.

"However, that doesn't mean that I have not thought about the past. As little as I want to stay alive at this point… in the end I had no one in the human world. Here, however… there are Pokemon who care. And in this conscience… how could I make others feel the pain that has driven me to the edge before? No…"

Slowly, Kel took a few steps back, putting distance between himself and the cliff.

"I neither want to live nor do I want to die. Once again I'm in a dilemma from which there is no good way out. Pain or suffering, just like always. But I guess I have to accept that my life is always going to be this way. And if I have that choice here… I'd rather experience pain myself than let others suffer."

Aurora approached carefully again.

"Does that mean… that you're staying?"

For the first time during this conversation, Kel looked Aurora in the eyes.

"I... will. For now. Not because I think I should, for anyone's sake, but because I trust you. If you tell me that I still have something to live for, then I'll believe you and move forward. Maybe I'll actually find it someday."

As negative as this statement seemed to be, the Plot Warrior was satisfied with what had happened for now.

"For today, it's enough for me to know that you'll still be with me when the sun will rise again!"

The stars shone in the sky. A gentle wind blew and the sea roared below the rocks. The cool breeze was refreshing, especially after all the panic of the day. It felt as if days had passed since Team Polarna vatra had become part of the King's League. Since then, the truth about Epsilon had come to light, a final meeting with her had taken place, Kel had revealed his past and Aurora her's. And all of this had happened within hours. The two team founders lingered for a moment, Aurora's gaze on the light in the sky and Kel's on his team partner.

"One more thing... Aurora... I want you to know that, no matter what happens, even if I end up dying, one way or another... it wouldn't be your fault. Please, I want you to know that I really appreciate all your help. It's so much more than I deserve. And it's also the only reason why I'm glad that I failed to kill myself back at the volcano..." "You what?"

Aurora jumped up immediately. What had happened while Kel was separated from her!? Kel's look revealed that he had forgotten for a moment that he wanted to keep this secret to himself.

"At the volcano... after my betrayal. I tried to take my own life there too. But it was there that the voices gained control and prevented anything fom happening."

He waited briefly, but when the Arcanine noticed that Aurora was not going to say anything else about this matter, he continued with the main point of his statement.

"So, what I wanted to say... thank you. For everything you do for me. As rarely as I show it, just the fact that you are there has helped me so often, made my time in this world so much better. Maybe it's strange for you... maybe incomprehensible... but no matter what happens, Aurora, I owe you all the happiness I've felt in this world. You are the only one who has ever been able to move me like that... apart from her. Whatever happens, I've never met somebody who made me feel... so free, even if it's just for moments at a time. And... I... just... I want you to know, that I love you, Aurora."

The sudden change in Kel's mood wasn't the only thing that threw Aurora off track here. Where did all this come from all at once? She didn't know how to put all her thoughts into words that would be worthy of a response to such a confession. Aurora had to start over several times to finally show what she was thinking.

"I... well... I... am really flattered. And... you've really become a good friend in the meantime, Kel. But... we've not known each other for that long. Not long enough for more than a good friendship, don't you think?"

To the Ninetale's relief, Kel didn't seem really hurt by her words.

"I know and you're absolutely right. It's just stupid talk from me, so... best to just forget that I said anything."

This answer, however, caused Aurora to backtrack a little.

"No, it's... it's not stupid, Kel, it's just... too early. Let's talk about tis again another day, okay? Once this was is finally over!"

In response, she only got a short nod and both Pokemon fell silent again, unlike Aurora's thoughts. Yet another item on the list of this seemingly endless day. But she didn't know... had she acted correctly? Although she hadn't lied to Kel, she had ultimately sugarcoated the truth so that it fit better. And now she hoped that she wouldn't regret it one day.

"It's already late... we have a duel early tomorrow. Maybe we should go now, shouldn't we?", Kel broke the silence. "Yes, you're probably right. There's just one thing we should discuss on the way. Because I'm very sure that earlier, when you had your attack, Zeraora wanted to ask to join our team."

Kel reacted with amusement and disbelief at the same time.

"Zeraora on Team Polarna vatra? Really? Would he even be able to handle that?" "I assume so. After all, his team no longer exists. And he knows us. He also knows that he's on an equal footing with us. The main thing is whether you're willing to take him in. After all, I didn't get the feeling that you ever got along with him."