WARNING!

This chapter includes: implied/referenced attempted suicide, implied/referenced self-harm, implied/referenced attempted suicide

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

"Draw a monster. Why is it a monster?"

— Daughter by Janice Lee

It wasn't often, only every once in a while, but enough to be alert if it ever happens again, that Ichigo sometimes had incredibly strange and way too vivid dreams. And nightmares. He can't forget about the nightmares. No one can forget about the nightmares, the damn fuckers.

Anyways, when Ichigo says strange and vivid dreams and/or nightmares, he fucking means strange and vivid. Either he wakes himself up by screaming and hallucinates still being in the dream, because fuck him and his mental state, or he wakes up to only have a panic attack because the dream brings him into a false sense of security.

This was one of the rare, incredibly rare, times Ichigo assumed that whatever happened in reality was actually the vivid dream. This assumption was quickly proven false by the second day where he was met with a kick to the stomach by his bastard of a father, a slap to the shoulder by Tatsuki when he was late to class, and a punch through a wall by a Hollow when he and Rukia had to go fight it in the middle of a damn test.

All in all, pretty normal as far as a day in the life of Kurosaki Ichigo and the bitches he calls friends. Maybe even a bit more entertaining, if anyone asked for Ichigo's opinion on the entire thing.

Rukia fell in seamlessly with Ichigo and his group of misfits and weirdos. There was barely a time that he ever remembered her not being there. It was... nice. It was like a missing piece of their puzzle had been found.

Unperturbed by the rumors and the attempts to keep her away from them, Rukia had danced into their lives and Hell would have to freeze over first before Ichigo gave her back. The unspoken routines of their lives weren't even disrupted by the new person to their little pack.

Orihime and Mizuiro kidnapped Rukia to go along with their shopping trips. Rukia, too polite to decline and seemed already resigned to it, became Orihime's taste tester for all of her crazy recipes. Mizuiro started to teach Rukia how to use a smartphone, and sometimes even let her play some of the games on there.

Chad and Rukia spent at least one day together talking about sickeningly adorable things. Sometimes Rukia would show up to school with a plushie Ichigo knows is from Chad's collection, hugged tightly to her chest in a protective hold.

Keigo started to talk about modern technology and culture when it was clear Rukia had very, very outdated knowledge about it all and always forced Uryū to come along. Uryū was slowly, but surely warming up to Rukia in his own way, sometimes initiating a bickering match with her.

Tatsuki quickly found out that Rukia had some martial art training and took it upon herself to practice with her, and sometimes teach her. Tatsuki would even bring her to her girl talk nights with Orihime.

Ichigo was so focused watching Rukia fit in and become someone precious to his friends, he failed to realize that she became something almost as precious as his sisters to him, almost like another sister.

The first week of Rukia's impromptu stay was hard. It was busy with figuring out a schedule for patrolling and training to fight Hollows the Shinigami way, still being suspicious of Rukia, and finding out Rukia was living in his goddamn closet. When Orihime's brother suddenly appears as a Hollow, first targeting him before going after Orihime, and by proxy Tatsuki, these were the last of his problems on his mind.

By the end of it, Ichigo had a concussion, Tatsuki was spitting fire and nonsense before she passed out from her own head injury when she somehow managed to kick the Hollow's hand from Orihime's throat, and Orihime was inconsolable before she knocked herself unconscious by a panic attack. The next thing, Ichigo woke up with Rukia leaning over him, concern barely hidden from her scowl as she healed Ichigo's head.

With Tatsuki and Orihime both still unconscious, Rukia mentioned how this would be another time she would need to erase their memories. A far off look in her hazy eyes and the soft whisper that it would be harsh to make a girl forget her final goodbyes to her brother had Ichigo look at the Shinigami in a new light.

The second week, Chad and his stubborn ass got himself stuck in a cat and mouse chase with a parakeet possessed by the spirit of a little boy and a Hollow who was once the ghost of a fucking serial killer. Ichigo was absolutely livid. He was the one to do these deadly stunts and get berated heavily for it and his inability to truly believe he deserves to live. Not his friends. And definitely not Chad.

After saving Chad, the parakeet, Rukia–the little shit that promised she wouldn't worry Ichigo–and finding out that Hell actually fucking exists, Ichigo is absolutely confident that Chad will not create another incident like this. At least, not without an accomplice.

With the reaming and the scolding done, Ichigo had collapsed and had a panic attack and a breakdown full of weeping, hyperventilating, the whole shebang. It was actually Rukia that managed to make the panic attack subside, which no one other than Tatsuki and his sisters are capable of doing, so that Chad could calm him down from the breakdown that he could have died and left them all alone.

By the end of the day, Ichigo was drained and had promptly dissociated, Rukia was more than concerned, and Chad had secretly initiated the Sadder Matter Cuddle before he brought them all to his home–that week bein Chad's turn to host their hang out spot, or mental breakdown headquarters–where the rest of the pack were already there with snacks, Ichiran Ramen, and weed.

Ichigo broke down again and fell into the Sadder Matter Cuddle by hugging Chad and had the rest running to surround them with hugs. It was actually Uryū who grabbed Rukia and pulled her in, knowing before Ichigo how precious she was to him despite his inhibitions of what she was. Even he couldn't deny that Rukia was a permanent part of their pack, of their family.

In the same week, the whole Kon debacle happened. Rukia didn't think it was funny, but to Ichigo, it was fucking hilarious. Of course, the Geta-bōshi man suddenly appearing like he did was weird, really weird. Like, Ichigo's Spidey Sense was bouncing off the walls like a five year old on crack, but like combined with calling the police on the microwave.

Ichigo quickly shrugged it off, put Kon in some lion plushie, and then went on his way. Kon being his body's replacement soul should Ichigo ever need to fight a Hollow, Ichigo made sure to be very clear that the Mod-Soul had to act like him whenever in his body. And to be careful where he wandered off.

The third week was one of the absolute worst weeks of Ichigo's life. Not only was it a Code:You Fucking Donkey!–which Ichigo is forever grateful and eternally guilty that his friends don't deserve to deal with it, but still care for him when it was never their fucking job and they really shouldn't have to deal with keeping him from killing himself–but it was the week of Masaki's death anniversary.

And because it was the week of his mother's death anniversary, he pretended. Everyone pretended when the day before the anniversary came. The gangsters that always tried to beat Ichigo at least once a week pretended. Yuzu and Karin pretended. Isshin pretended.

There was only one day of the year that everyone–specifically the people who knew Ichigo or knew of him, good or bad–pretended like everything was happy. Not many knew of the reason, but previous times in the past five years–six now–told each and every one of them that June 15th was a day that either people pretend that Ichigo never existed, or people pretend that Ichigo was just a normal, happy teenager.

Then Grand Fisher–Mama's killer... Mama's murderer–came. Then he escaped. Nothing, absolutely nothing hurt more than the fact that Ichigo let his mother's killer get away when he was so, so, so close to giving his mother's soul peace. He screamed himself hoarse. He cried until no tears came. He stayed on the ground soaked in his own blood and drenched in rain, grieving, weeping, screaming to any god out there, cursing them, wishing that they would change who had died, asking them why.

He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. All he could do was cry for a life that should have never been taken away and it was all his fault. He was spiralling. He was falling.

He was half a second away from lifting his zanpakutō towards his own stomach when Rukia tackled him from behind. Her arms were tightly wrapped around him, over his own arms and effectively stopping them from moving. Her body shook as her breaths came out in short, silent pants and heaves.

"Your mother would never blame you. She will never blame you. She hasn't! Please... Ichigo, she doesn't want you to be in such horrible pain for something you did not cause, so please... please!"

This was the moment that Ichigo realized how truly precious and important Rukia was to him. All it took was getting stabbed through the chest, helping a hollowfied brother of a friend to cross over, saving and then scolding another friend for his stubborn kindness, being at the receiving end of a Sadder Matter Cuddle, suddenly having to work with and hide a Mod-Soul ordered to be destroyed, having to initiate Code: You Fucking Donkey!, Masaki's death anniversary, being confronted by murderer of the said wonderful and beautiful woman, and then letting him escape. Quite honestly, after Code: You Fucking Donkey! had been dissolved a week later, Ichigo would recall that his observation skills actually improved with how little he realized he and Rukia truly bonded. Only a month. A new record.

Rukia was–is his sister. A sister he could go to when he needed help. A sister that wouldn't judge him. A sister that had her own demons, but helped others with theirs–just like him. A sister who he could go to when everything got too much and he started to spiral. A sister that can go to him when she needs help. A sister that he will never judge. A sister that he swears to help with her demons even when his have dug their claws just a little bit deeper. A sister that can go to him when everything is too much and she might start to spiral in self-deprecation and old habits that she most likely has.

Ichigo loved Yuzu and Karin with his entire heart, with his entire soul. Not only is he their big brother, he is their parent. The one who raised them, who is continuing to raise them. Their Onīchan.

They gave him gifts on Father's Day instead of that bastard they're forced to live with. They go to him for help, for safety, for protection. They go to him when there is a parent-teacher conference, or when Yuzu has a cooking competition, or when Karin has a soccer game.

Yuzu and Karin were his children. They were his baby girls. The ones he raised when, in the eyes of society and laws, he definitely should not have been the one to do so when their "father" was still alive and capable.

Which is why he could never go to them for help. Never go to them to just talk and rant and cry. Never go to them when he's spiralling and the thoughts aren't helping and he can feel everything physically, but he can feel absolutely nothing and it hurts, but it's all numb and he needs something, anything to just feel something constant and not confusing and not terrifying even when it makes him panic and hyperventilate afterwards from the guilt because he promised, he promised he wouldn't hurt himself again but it's so hard when he's feeling everything and nothing and the pain hurts so much but it's just numb and he doesn't like it, hates it, despises it and Tatsuki, Chad, Orihime, Mizuiro, Keigo, Uryū, Rukia are all so understanding and are never angry or mad or upset when he does hurt himself but it makes it all worse because he promised and promises are never, never, never, never, never broken unless absolutely and totally necessary because if he goes to his baby girls then they'll get scared and worry and will most definitely start keeping their problems to themselves when that's horrible to do and that's what he does and he swore he would raise them properly and not be broken, shattered, ripped apart like he is.

After they go home, after Ichigo showers and forgoes the bandages around his arms, after everyone else is dead asleep and Rukia and him are the last awake, sitting on top of the roof to feel the soft rain wash away the sadness with its own, does Rukia finally tell her story. Rukongai, Renji, the deaths of her friends–her family, Shin'ō Academy, the Kuchiki adoption, the isolation, the ostracization, Shiba Kaien, the admiration, the love, the Hollow, the incident. She tells him everything, even the reminder that Ichigo gives her every day. How he looks like Kaien, almost like his long lost twin.

Ichigo takes it all in, stays quiet as he listens and afterwards... tells his story that only he truly knows. His loving and beautiful mother, his father that once loved him, his home that wasn't really normal, but still so warm and bright, the faces he wishes he could remember of meant to be family, the bait, Grand Fisher, Mama's murder, the rain, the sorrow, the guilt, the death of his father and the moment a monster replaced him, the "training", the terror, the agreement, the sadness, the guilt, the trauma, the wish that he could have died, the belief that he shouldn't be alive, the fucked up mental state his grown too accustomed to, the pack–the family he's formed out of outcasts, traumatized teenagers, and feral little shits all wrapped with horribly resewn bows of delinquency. He tells her everything, even the fact that she's become another sister to him. A sister that he will stand by through thick and thin, no matter what.

The rest of the week and the week after passes uneventfully, in Ichigo terms. He was never alone and was always placed farthest away from anything that could possibly be harmful, a precaution they all had agreed and used when Code: You Fucking Donkey! was initiated. He won't be able to even begin the process of trying the different types of antidepressants for one that will work for another three years, and that's not including how much Ichigo will be paid when he has a job–if he has a job.

It was halfway through the week after that the whole Ghost Bust bullshit happened. Though, Ichigo has to hand it to Mizuiro and Keigo. They distracted him for a good minute or two. The irritation and annoyance had even continued the next day with the school and their bullshit teachers who only care about the school's goddamn fucking reputation than the students' mental states.

It was during the new week, after the whole Ghost Bust and when Code: You Fucking Donkey! had ended, that shit hit the fucking fan. Again.

First Rukia and the Hollow that caused everything leading up to this point, Orihime and her hollow brother, Chad and his goddamn stubborn kindness, Kon and the weird Geta-bōshi man, Grand Fisher, and now... this. Uryū bringing a goddamn fucking bullshit Hollow Bait to school and ACCIDENTALLY FUCKING BREAKING IT!

Honestly, truly, Ichigo's surprised it only took a little over a month for something new to happen, like this. That never happens. Not in Karakura Town and definitely not when it involved Ichigo. If it does, Ichigo knows to be prepared for anything. Like today.

"ISHIDA URYŪ, YOU BETTER HOPE TATSUKI GETS TO YA FIRST!" Ichigo roars roughly pulling out his zanpakutō from the Hollow he had defeated. "RUKIA, WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!"

He jumps off of the Hollow and flies toward the Hollow that was about to attack Keigo. The Hollow screeches, quickly backtracking as its mask gets lit up in flames.

"Come at me again and I'll claw that damn mask off with my own hands!" Keigo shouts with a feral grin, holding up a spray paint can with a lighter in front of the nozzle.

"Thanks, Keigo!" Ichigo calls out before slashing through the Hollow's head and mask. He lands in a roll and easily slides to a stop in front of the brunette.

Keigo screeches, throwing the aerosol can right into Ichigo's deadpan expression. "Fucking–you translucent bitch! You scared the shit out of me!"

"Then don't get scared."

Keigo scowls and throws his lighter at the orange haired teenager. Ichigo easily catches it with his eyes closed as he walks over.

"At least I wasn't the one who got jumpscared by a cucumber! Asshole!" Keigo pouts with his hands crossed.

"Let's go. You got another spray can?" Ichigo asks, pretending his friend didn't say anything about the cucumber incident.

"'course I do!" Keigo takes out his phone when it buzzes and checks the message. "Mizuiro and Chad got kidnapped by that Geta-bōshi bitch you kept telling us about."

"Knew he was some sorta creep... humble fuckin' shopkeeper my ass! Has Tatsuki and Orihime said anythin'? Rukia or Uryū?" Ichigo continues walking with Keigo following after him.

"Nah. Uryū's online though. Think he's making sure he can avoid you..." Keigo looks at the Snap Map, zooming in on Uryū's avatar. Ichigo grins with irritation and anger. Oh, that little bitch!

"I'm gonna kick his fuckin' ass!"

"Well it's summer break... go for it," Keigo states with a shrug. He didn't need Uryū as his study buddy anymore until mid-terms.

Mizuiro taps away at his phone, blindly following the shopkeeper and his employees that kidnapped him and Chad. He glances up, sighing quietly in relief at the slow rise and fall of Chad's back. He's still alive.

"So, creepy Geta-bōshi that Ichigo's suspicious of, where do you take your kidnapping victims to?" Mizuiro asks cheerfully, quickening his steps to walk next to the shopkeeper. He really was a geta-bōshi man... literally.

The man was tall, a bit taller with the geta sandals on, and wore a green striped bucket hat on top of messy pale blonde hair. Silver eyes were shadowed by the brim and his slight stubble and fair skin were hidden by his opened fan. He wore a black haori over a dark green samue and had a long cane hanging off of his arm.

"Kojima-kun! I'm just some humble shopkeeper! I would never kidnap anyone!" The man exclaims with a wide wave of his fan. Mizuiro continues to smile as he takes a picture of Geta-bōshi.

"You tried kidnapping Kon. And you're currently kidnapping Chad and me." Mizuiro taps the picture and shows it to Geta-bōshi. "A horrible kidnapper. Hasn't anyone taught you to take away forms of communication from your victims? I can easily call the police and keep this message in a locked folder."

"Ah... Kon? The... Mod-Soul?" Geta-bōshi asks for clarification.

"Is there anyone else named Kon? Though, I wish Ichigo went with Kai. It sounded cooler..." Mizuiro trails off at the thought. Stupid Ichigo and his pettiness.

"Well, Mod-Souls were ordered to be terminated and so much time had passed that I had forgotten. I had never intended to give it–"

"Him."

Geta-bōshi stares down at the black haired teenager at the interruption. "I had never intended to give him away to a customer. There was too much of a risk."

"So, you knew that Kon was his own living soul? And you were still going to kill him? Like he was nothing?" Mizuiro looks up innocently, still smiling.

"Well, I–it–him–a Mod-Soul isn't a real soul, Kojima-kun." Mizuiro's smile widens at the shopkeeper's stuttering response.

"Then why is the word soul in the name if Kon isn't a real soul? Or why didn't you add artificial before Mod-Soul?"

A grin appears on his face at the lack of response. Adults and their stupid way of thinking. A soul is a soul, which means it's its own person. Even Mizuiro understands that and he can only see a blurry silhouette of Hollows and spirits!

Uryū shoots an arrow at another Hollow, barely wincing at another cut to his fingertips. He doesn't even bother to check that his arrow had successfully pierced through the Hollow's mask as he turns around to sprint out of the street.

He heard Ichigo's roar. He's pretty sure the entire fucking town heard it!

"I'm dead. I'm so dead. I might actually want my father chasing after me more than this!" Uryū almost gags at the thought. Does he really? Over Ichigo chasing after him?

...Uryū hates to admit it, but yes. Dealing with a pissed off Ichigo was like dealing with a pissed off mama bear while he held one of her cubs in his arms. A death wish. Fuck! He fucked up!

"Quincy!" Uryū whips his head and frowns at the sight of the shortest of the group. The Shinigami.

"Shinigami," He speaks with more frustration than the usual amount of disdain. Uryū doesn't notice it, but Rukia does.

"Why the hell did you bring a Hollow Bait to school?! Ichigo's gonna kill you! After he scolds my ear off for not telling him about it!" Rukia hisses angrily as she slides to a stop beside the Quincy.

Uryū pushes up his glasses with a scowl. "I wanted to use it for a competition with Ichigo. They normally don't break that easily."

"Why couldn't you have gone home to grab it then come back, dumbass?!" Rukia punches Uryū on the arm before he pulls up his bow once more. He shoots a Hollow right as it appears in front of them.

"...I didn't grab it from home..." Uryū begrudgingly admits. There wouldn't have been another opportunity at Ryūken's house if Uryū left without it.

Rukia glares at him, not knowingly but in understanding. She sighs heavily as they both start to run.

"Well, you better take the time to hide after all this bullshit! Every second of my scolding will count! You better not waste it, dumbass." Rukia suddenly slides underneath the arm of a Hollow. The Hollow doesn't even have a chance to attack again when Uryū presses a forming arrow right at its skull. He releases the arrow and more blood falls from his fingertips.

"Of course I know that, Shinigami!" Uryū sneers at the black haired female before forming another arrow. Three more Hollows had appeared.

Fuck his life. Ichigo is so going to kill him. Twice. Then Tatsuki will. Three times.

Fuck her life! When she gets outta this mess, she's going to fucking kill Uryū! That little whore!

Tatsuki takes the sharp hits of the burrowing seeds, biting the inside of her cheek. She hears Orihime's muffled scream, but it sounds far away. She falls to one knee and wipes away the blood blinding her sight.

"That all ya got, you fuckin' cocktopus?!" Tatsuki forces out with a snarl, glaring up at the slightly blurry but visible Hollow across the small field.

"What did you call me?! You little brat! Why won't the seeds work on you?!" The Hollow screeches, shooting out more seeds from its head. Tatsuki jumps to the side and lands in a roll.

She was incredibly hurt, her practice in the karate club was still making her muscles tremble and scream for relief, and all of the seeds were ruining her school uniform with the amount of blood that fell from the wounds. Even with all that, her body thrummed with energy. It wasn't adrenaline. This didn't feel like adrenaline.

The energy was buzzing beneath her skin. It felt unnerving, but wonderful. Like something inside of her was waking up. Like the afterglow she was always in after any and all matches she won. It was like sitting right next to a fire pit that suddenly burst into large and monstrous blue flames that almost touched her.

It kept stopping the seeds from taking control of her body–or it was slowing down the process. With it being slowed, Tatsuki could feel the awful energy coming from the seeds. She could feel them burrowing into her own energy, trying to leech onto her and use her like a puppet. It was weirdly disgusting.

"'cause I've got the power of God and anime on my side, whore!" Tatsuki sneers at the Hollow as she stands on shaky feet. She glances over at Orihime and watches her kick back at one of the controlled boys' balls.

Orihime uses the lack of restraint to kick the other boy, forcing him to release her mouth. "You–you meanie! I'll never forgive you for hurting Tatsuki-chan! And don't mistake me for a victim of yours!"

"I'm not even surprised..." Tatsuki thinks after watching six lights flash out from Orihime. She watches six weirdly shaped objects zip around the orange haired teenager.

"Wh-what... What the hell are you two?!" The Hollow asks, moving back in fear and pain as one of the weirdly shaped objects slices through its tentacle.

"People you shouldn't have messed with... bitch!" Orihime snarks back, stuttering on the cussword.

Tatsuki stares at her, slack jawed. "Holy shit! You said bitch! Oh fuck, you made me win 70 bucks from Keigo! Hell yeah!"

"Tatsuki-chan, thanks for hanging on, but let me handle this! You're really hurt!" Orihime states in determination. Tatsuki bursts out laughing, a wide grin growing on her face as she faces the Hollow once again.

"Oh, with pleasure! No one's made Orihime this pissed ever since the Bread of Reckoning and I've a front row seat to it!" Tatsuki falls back on her ass, woozy and lightheaded, but alert. She can't wait to watch this fight!

Tatsuki quickly fishes out her phone to record the entire thing. She'll get to earn some sweet cash from the others when they find out she's recorded Orihime fighting, again.

Hey! Hope you all like the new chapter! A true mix of angst and crack... I hope... I'm still unsure if I've figured out the line between the two, but I'm working on it!

I still hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! Also, that specific paragraph that's actually just a sentence is meant to be like that. Honestly, I think it's one of my best paragraphs I've ever written. I'm really proud of it.

I hope you all are enjoying the story so far! Bye!

WhovianWhoudini