Chapter 55, Order Of The Phoenix

"So where are we going," Regulus asked. He and Severus had just left the Slytherin common room and were heading up the stairs out of the dungeons.

"The library, I suppose," Severus said. "Where else?"

Regulus smirked. "True. It isn't as if we have many options. It feels odd to play on Dumbledore's stairs while Heather Toy... Blast it, Heather! While Heather is upset. It's not my fault if I slip up and say Toy because Raislen does it all the time. We repeat what we hear frequently, and if she ever hits me, I shall set Kreacher on her. He has magic she can't circumvent, after all." Severus snickered at the various mental images that rose to mind when it came to Kreacher using his elf magic in creative ways to defend Regulus's potential slip of the tongue. "It's interesting that Heather went to Raislen specifically today," Regulus mused. "He was the one she wanted comfort from most in her worst moment of grief. Do you think it means she loves him or something? You know as more than a friend?""

Severus rolled his eyes heavenward as he let out a sigh. "Gods, I hope so," He said fervently.

Regulus snickered. "I suppose she might have been jealous when he threatened to invite one of her friends to the dance, though she pretended it was about not thinking any girl should have to deal with him. I wondered at the time which it really was."

Severus shrugged. "I always supposed she had to fancy him at least some to put up with him for so long. She claimed it was about the books, and I do believe it was in part, but he'd have let her borrow them even if she did not sit with us all the time at lunch and study with us after school. He likes her so he would have. I mean sure she always liked him as a friend because he is smart and loyal and funny, but there was always this extra undertone with them." He shrugged.

Regulus nodded. "Yes." And that was that. It was all either needed to say on the matter. They went to the library and Regulus helped Severus study for his O.W.L.S after Severus helped him with his Potions essay. It was on such a level of simple that it was insultingly dull. Slughorn really should do better, Severus thought in some bafflement. If he were the one teaching Potions, rather than having third years writing about each ingredient in the Draught Of Living Death, he would have them research how Dr. Jekyll, the greatest Potions Master to ever grace the wizarding world, had used it to fake his own death. Each process in this research allowed the students to delve deeper into every ingredient in a way they would actually remember for later use. That hardly mattered, though, because he had better things to do than to teach brats potions. He and Regulus studied in the library for perhaps three hours. When they returned to the common room, Heather and Raislen were sitting on a sofa with their hands linked between them. The sight was odd, but a relief at the same time. Though Heather was no longer crying, she was clingy with Raislen in a way that was rather disconcerting. Often her free hand would reach up to cling to his arm as if he planned to go somewhere, which he clearly did not. Her eyes were red, and her face was blotchy with the aftermath of too many tears. Severus found himself glancing away as his stomach tightened. He'd surely looked the same after his father's death, equally as senseless as Heather's grandfather getting kicked in the head by a horse! How had Voldemort even known that Tobias was a Muggle, he wondered for the millionth time. He and Severus had gone into the potions shop with Eileen often enough because she frequently wanted to stop in and grab some ingredient she was running low on while the family was already out. As a result, Tobias knew his way around the place and would not have needed to ask for help when entering to buy whatever it was that Eileen had needed that fateful day. In spite of this, Voldemort had known and killed him. Thinking of it all again with no productive outcome was starting to give Severus a headache. He was discovering that the open grief of someone he cared about was difficult to witness because it caused him to relate too much and relating hurt. Heather was like a big sister, and while he wanted to be there for her, he had enough locks around his own emotions because all the emotions in the world wouldn't bring his father back. He'd grieved and it hadn't helped, had it? "I'm heading up to bed," he said abruptly. He raised a hand to his mouth as he feigned a yawn. "Heather, I am sorry about your grandfather. I know it won't bring him back, but I am sorry," he said in a rush as he awkwardly rose to his feet, powered by the need to get out of there just a bit faster than as fast as possible! The feeling grew even stronger when Heather's chin trembled as her eyes turned to him.

"Thanks, Kid. I know you understand pointless death and it means a lot." Her voice was beginning to crack, and he rushed from the room feeling a bit like a coward.

I'm sleepy too," he heard Regulus saying. "I'm glad you two worked things out, but I'm very sorry about your grandfather, Heather."

Thankfully he reached the fifth year boy's dorm then and heard no more. Never was he so overjoyed to see his own bed and shelter beneath its blankets in blessed warm darkness. As he lay curled in the sanctuary of his bed, his mind reached for slumber, but kept returning to the unanswered question around his father's death. Perhaps Dumbledore would have a suggestion, he thought suddenly. He would ask tomorrow. With that decided, his mind relaxed, and he was able to drift off to sleep. He woke in the morning still feeling a bit on edge. He hoped Heather was feeling better because if she wasn't, he knew it would be a bloody unpleasant day due to his own emotional responses. Would that bit get any easier once Voldemort was dead? Perhaps some, but likely not enough, he knew. That did not matter to his need for his father's murderer to pay, though. As he dressed, his mind was already on Dumbledore and the conversation he planned to have with him. The sooner the better, as in before breakfast if it were possible, but he knew that it was wiser to wait until after classes were over for the day. Restraint was the key. By the time he got down stairs, Dumbledore would already be having breakfast with the other professors, and he did not wish to draw attention to himself by asking to speak to the Headmaster alone in front of others. At the end of the day he would be in his office, and Severus could speak to him there without anyone wondering what it was about. His thoughts were on this plan as he left the fifth year boy's dorm rather than on Heather. Feeling goal oriented instead of uncomfortable was far more motivational. To his relief, Heather was not crying at breakfast. She was quiet and subdued with Raislen hovering at her side. He frequently asked if there was anything she needed, quick to butter her toast or give her more pumpkin juice, though she did not seem overly interested in food. She gave him a few wan smiles for the effort, and thank all the gods, he did not call her Heather Toy! For his part, Severus remained quiet and in his own thoughts. Regulus properly read the general group mood and kept his head in a book. After classes were over, Severus told the others that he would meet up with them later after speaking to Dumbledore about something. Though Heather and Raislen exchanged a glance, they were wise enough not to ask, knowing that he would only say so much in front of Regulus, if the situation were in any way Voldemort related. Though Regulus was a friend, he could also pose a danger by knowing too much when on the wrong side. In this case, it was that black and white. Severus appreciated that Heather and Raislen were able to read between the lines of what he did not say in this case. They knew him well enough to know that he would've offered up more information were it safe to do so. He hurried away before Regulus could ask any questions, heading directly for the stairs leading to Dumbledore's office. The Headmaster looked surprised to see him, but he still smiled as he peered over his half moon spectacles.

"How can I help you today, Severus," he asked pleasantly.

"I wanted to ask, because you are wise," Severus began.

"Ah, it's one of those things!" Dumbledore chuckled. "You had better sit down and have a cup of tea." Reaching into a desk drawer near his right hand, he pulled out a bag of candy. "Have a lemon drop?" When Severus shook his head he replaced the bag before gesturing to the tea pot that stood on a silver tray on his desk along with two small blue china cups. It rose slightly into the air, filling the cups. Another gesture from Albus and one cup floated to his extended hand while the other floated to hover in front of Severus. He took it, then settled into the chair across from Albus at the desk.

"Thank you, Sir," he said politely.

"Honey or sugar," Albus asked and Severus shook his head. He did not care about the tea.

"It's about Voldemort. And my father. How do you suppose he knew my father was a Muggle? He would not have done anything in the shop to give himself away. He knew the place well and he knew the dangers of presenting as a Muggle in a place like that so I am certain he would've been careful."

Albus nodded. "Of course he would've," he said, tone calm and somehow soothing. Something in his mild blue gaze made Severus feel that he understood. Everything. Whether this was true or not, it was comforting. "Though we cannot know, I am willing to bet a lot that Voldemort used Legilimency."

Blast. Severus's attempts to study that particular art had been labored not to mention dull. It made sense though. "It is difficult to learn," he said carefully. From Dumbledore's kind and slightly knowing smile, Severus saw that he had not hidden his frustration with Legilimency well at all. "I am going to need it if I am to bring him down for what he did," he bit out. "I can't seem to find the right book to explain the process to me properly. Each explanation in each blasted book on the topic is somehow missing something that I need."

Dumbledore nodded sagely. "It is indeed a tricky subject, but as it happens, I know a thing or two about Legilimency," Albus said. "If your O.W.L marks are suitably high in most of your subjects, which I am certain they shall be, I will begin training you next year if you would like. I figure with Heather and Raislen gone, you will need more to keep yourself occupied."

Was Albus Dumbledore actually offering him help in taking Voldemort down? "I would like that, Sir," he said. Then he smiled. He knew that all of his eager excitement showed in that smile, and he did not bother trying to hide it. He wanted the old Headmaster to know just how willing he was to learn. Albus returned his smile with an equally pleased one of his own.

"Many are too frightened or frankly unskilled to take on such a venture, Severus, but I believe you can do it. Not only that, I need as much help as I can get." Help with what? What was he talking about? Severus's expression of honest confusion made Albus chuckle. "I think I can share a secret with you. I must ask that you keep it entirely to yourself for now, though. It is very important. If it got out to the wrong person, my life as well as the lives of others could be at risk. Can I trust you, Severus?" Severus nodded and Albus continued. As he spoke, Severus leaned forward in anticipation of learning an important secret, cooling cup of tea nearly forgotten in his hand. "I lead an organization called The Order of the Phoenix." Dumbledore smiled over at the phoenix nearly asleep on his perch across the office. "These birds survive anything, and so must we," he explained. "As the Ministry is basically busy ignoring reality, my efforts are, for all intents and purposes, the only ones being made to stop Voldemort. Of course anyone in this order risks their life merely for standing against evil, so you can understand why no one can know. Even those you trust could be spied on, including Heather and Raislen. I know they are good people, but they are currently unwilling to stick their necks out and they have made this clear. I cannot risk anyone knowing if they are not a part of this. When one has everything to lose, they must proceed with extreme caution. That is what we must do to succeed right now. Do you understand where I am coming from, Severus?"" Severus did. He understood that for the first time, he had to keep something from his two best friends. The displeasure must have shown on his face as he nodded, for Dumbledore continued hastily. "It is for their safety as much as ours, Severus. Always remember that. I know that you would be devastated if anything were to befall them as it did your father." Severus nodded again. Though he did not relish keeping secrets from his only friends, from is best friends, he would never risk any harm befalling them. "Of course if they change their minds and decide to join in the fight, that could change, but as it stands now, the secret must remain in the Order and in the Order alone," Dumbledore concluded gravely.

"I understand, Sir," Severus said heavily. He straightened in his chair, fortified suddenly by the realization that avenging his father and getting rid of Voldemort was worth keeping secrets from anyone. Even his mum, for though Dumbledore had not mentioned her, she surely counted as much as Heather and Raislen. He did not want her risking herself even if she would wish to join the order, so he would never mention it to her. Keeping her safe was as important to him as his revenge if not more so, after all. When he rejoined his friends in the Slytherin common room, he experienced an odd tension until he realized that it was only the inner pressure of keeping secrets. Reminding himself that those secrets did Heather and Raislen a favor just as they served him allowed his mind to relax on the matter.

Heather and Raislen were quizzing one another for their N.E.W.T.S. When he offered to help, Heather smiled and shook her head. "Regulus can help you with your O.W.L.S instead Raislen and I would feel rubbish if you got a low mark in something because you were helping us. We shall be fine just quizzing each other."

"Yes. I am glad to help," Regulus agreed. "And when it's time for my O.W.L.S you can quiz me."

Severus nodded. "We can start with Charms," he told Regulus. In under half an hour things felt completely normal. After the first few minutes, he even stopped thinking of Dumbledore's Secret. It wasn't important for the present so there was no need for it to take up space in his mind. He was tested a few hours later when Regulus went to write his customary letter to Kreacher. "So what did you want to see Dumbledore about, Kid," Raislen asked curiously as soon as Regulus was out the door of the common room.

"Transfiguration," Severus said with a sigh. "He is a master, and I hoped he'd have some tricks to, you know, help me around the fact that I am not. I perhaps hoped he would be able to explain some of the more complex processes in a better way that I could relate to." He was quite impressed with himself for coming up with such a brilliant lie without missing a beat. He did not make a habit of lying, after all. He found it a waste of time and energy, not to mention the truth usually served far better. Even one's enemies could be hurt by the truth.

"Did it work," Heather asked brightly.

"What?" Severus asked, distracted. "Did what work?"

"Um, was he able to teach you anything useful that actually helped," Heather asked with a chuckle.

Severus shook his head. "Oh that, no. Not yet."

"Well if he can't help, don't worry about it, Kid. I told you I've got this," Raislen said with a wink. "And don't ask me how yet. I want to perfect the method first in case I have to change anything up last minute. It's a thing."

Severus gave him a bemused grin. "I suppose it is." His heart lifted as it always did at the prospect of Raislen somehow managing to save him from failing his Transfiguration O.W.L. He could pass Professor McGonagall's tests with acceptable marks, but it was a known fact that an O.W.L was far more difficult than any test a professor could give.