I so enjoy hearing what y'all think! I have been having fun mixing things up with this story! Thank you to my faithful commentators. The next chapter is a biggie! Love Ya'll!
Natalie frets all night when Max doesn't come back to the apartment. She lay in bed tossing and turning going over all her thoughts and fears, and their argument. She thought about calling Hana but she didn't want to involve her. She and Max needed to fix this themselves. Hana had been eager to have Cara stay with her and they were making much better progress with the serum antidote now. It was eerily quiet in the apartment again. She heads to the kitchen to make herself some tea hoping it will help her sleep around 3 am. She falls asleep and jumps when she hears the doorknob turn.
"Hey," Natalie says nervously as she rubs her eyes. Max looked like hell, still wearing the same clothes he wore the afternoon before. She probably looked like hell too. She looks over at the clock on the wall, 6:30 am.
"Hey," Max grunts as he shrugs off his jacket, hanging it by the door.
"Can we talk?" Natalie asks as her voice wobbles. Her emotions are still all over the place.
"I just came to take a shower, I have a meeting in an hour" Max doesn't look at her, he just walks toward the hallway, rubbing his neck. He's spent the night on the couch in his office. He didn't sleep much and from the looks of it, neither did Natalie.
"Okay…" Natalie tells him, sounding defeated and on the verge of tears.
"I want to talk, Nat, I just can't right now, I need to focus on this meeting, I still have a faction to run even if my personal life is…." Falling to pieces is what he thinks but doesn't say out loud.
Natalie feels the tears burn in her eyes and spill down her cheeks. She nods in understanding quickly, wiping her tears away.
Max groans as he stands in the shower letting the hot water beat on his shoulders. He is still confused and conflicted but he hasn't lied. He needed to focus this morning. He needed to hear the inventory update, there was an issue with some of the Dauntless guarding the perimeter and the Candor refugees, not to mention the task force was waiting for an update on their next move as soon as the snowstorm cleared. Natalie isn't in the bedroom when he exits and grabs a pair of black jeans and a black T-shirt for the day. He finds Natalie in the kitchen, making a kettle of tea.
She was still wiping tears from her cheeks. She looks up, her stomach still doing flip-flops as she is filled with anxiety. "What time will you be home?" She asks quietly.
"I'm not sure, probably late this evening"
She nods, hating the tension between them.
Max sighs, unsure of what to do. He walks over and gently places a hand on the back of Natalie's head. He brings his lips to her forehead and lingers there.
"I love you, please know that..Always and Forever" Natalie whispers as he pulls back.
"Always and Forever," he tells her honestly as he backs away, grabs his jacket from the back of the couch, and heads to the door.
Natalie grips the counter tears falling down her face as he closes the door. Max stops leaning against the door feeling defeated. He'd thought the love between him and Natalie was all they needed to make it through now that they had found each other again, but now he wasn't so sure.
"Hi Mom" Tris smiles as she uses the key Max gave her to open his apartment later that evening. She had gone grocery shopping for Natalie and Max and picked up a few things for her mother at the commissary.
"Hi Baby," Natalie puts on her best smile even though she is still upset from her and Max's argument.
"Okay, first Daddy is acting weird, and now you….Did you two have a fight?" Tris pushes seeing that her mother didn't seem like herself.
Natalie sighs annoyed that she hasn't been able to hide that on the inside she was a mess. Tris furrows her eyebrows as she sets the bags on the kitchen counter.
"Don't worry about us, everything will be fine" Natalie tells her, coming to pull her into a hug. "All you need to worry about is this precious baby"
Natalie places a hand over her daughter's belly. She was about to be a grandmother, how the hell could she be having another baby? It only added to her confusion.
"Well Four and I are moving to this floor" Tris felt odd, she was excited but also sad that the only reason she and Tobias were moving was because Stacy was dead.
"I'm happy you'll be right down the hall, Did your father say what time he would be coming home?" Natalie asked as she placed some of the items in the fridge.
"No, he looked really busy though, there has been a steady stream of people in and out of his office all day."
Natalie nodded. She had been upset for the better part of the day thinking that Max was using work as an excuse to avoid talking but she realized he was busy.
"I have an idea and I was hoping you would help with it," Tris mentions as she passes Natalie items from the bag to place in the cabinet.
"Sure Baby Girl" A task was just what she needed to put her restless mind at ease. She needed to feel like she was contributing to something.
"I keep thinking part of why we are at war is largely because of Dauntless. I understand this is how it's been done but why can't we change things"
Natalie listens as she takes out a pan so she can start cooking dinner. "Why do you think that"
"Most factionless are ex-Dauntless. I get it for those who don't pass initiation but the fact that we throw people away after they get too old, It's not right. Abnegation finds a place for everyone, why can't we?"
Natalie could sympathize, It was something that she never liked when she was younger, especially after becoming factionless.
"So what's your idea?" She asks as Tris begins to chop vegetables to add to the chicken Natalie is cooking.
"What if we start a retirement home for Dauntless who becomes older? We wouldn't have to put people out on the street. We would have more jobs available and the people who aren't skilled at fighting can work there."
"Hmmm,' Natalie hums as she adds the vegetables to her pan. It was bold, but something Natalie could see happen. "What would you do about all the factionless that were Dauntless now?"
"Allow them to come back, and any family they have now. It's a big and drastic change but I think there are buildings close to here where maybe we could build a walkway to the compound."
Natalie was impressed with her daughter's plans so far. "It sounds like you have this all thought out…"
"Well, I realize that we need increased food production from Amity and I'm wondering if there are things that we would like building materials. I'm also not sure how the ex-Dauntless would take it, they have no reason to trust us"
"I agree but I do think some would be open to the idea…" She ponders thinking specifically about Stephan and Elena. They would jump at an opportunity to allow Emila and Grayson to grow up in Dauntless.
"I want to make a full proposal to the leaders, and maybe the council if Dauntless will accept it, I haven't said anything to anyone yet, not even Tobias or Daddy really"
Natalie smiles and reaches over to grab her hand. "I'll be happy to help you, Sweetheart"
After Tris leaves to go home Natalie tidies up the apartment and then takes a shower to calm her nerves as she waits for Max to get home. She lights a few candles and nervously sits on the couch. She had done a lot of thinking while she cleaned. She finally understood what Max was saying and talking with Tris about her idea made her hopeful. Everything had been on her terms but she couldn't see how Max giving up everything was the right decision.
Helping Tris with her project did calm her a bit, it gave her something to focus on. She was still nervous about telling him she was pregnant but if she had learned anything the past few months, keeping things from each other only made things worse.
"Hi," Natalie whispers as Max enters through the door an hour later.
"Hi," He tells her before he hangs his jacket by the door.
"I don't know if you ate, but I made dinner"
Max nods, he hates feeling this tension with her.
"Nat, I'm sorry about everything…I…" He hangs his head and sinks on the couch next to her.
"No, this is on me Max, I'm sorry." She interrupts and launches into his arms unable to hold back her emotions. They stay like that for a few moments.
"I haven't been unfair to you Max, and I'm sorry, It's just…I'm scared…" Natalie whispers saying it out loud for the first time. "I'm so scared I'm going to get pulled away from you and Tris and Hana, and I don't know if I can take it.." she sobs at the end, unable to finish her statement.
"It's okay" Max soothes. "I'm sorry I wasn't considering how you were feeling ..ugh..this is hard Nat, I know that I guess I got caught up a little too"
Natalie nods against him and then pulls back and wipes her tears.
"I don't know what will happen, but I'm going to fight like hell for you and for us. And If I have to become factionless I will, Nat, after everything, I want to be with you. I need you"
She throws her arms around his neck again. As much as she didn't want that for him, she didn't think she could live without him now.
"Tris came by today and asked me to help her work on a project. I think it will be good for me, give me something to do during the day, not focusing on being stuck in the apartment"
"I want for you to be able to go out, I promise, I don't want you to feel like you're a prisoner, I'm just scared of what could happen but I understand you need some freedom"
Natalie presses her lips to his. Max moves to cup her face with her hands as he moves his lips against hers.
"I love you," he tells her and then gives her another quick peck. "Go put your shoes on and grab your coat"
Natalie raises her eyebrows. "Where are we going?"
"It's a surprise,"
A few minutes later, Max leads them hand in hand down to the maintenance elevator. They ride down and then take another back stairwell and Natalie gasps when she realizes where they are.
"Max" She smiles as he leads her down to the bottom of the chasm. "Oh you remembered"
"Come on of course I remembered, we had our first kiss here" He chuckles. Natalie walks closer to the wall and runs her fingers over the stones looking back and forth for a minute before Max comes up behind her knowing exactly what she was looking for.
"I believe what you are looking for is right here" He takes her hand and guides her a few inches down where their initials were carved. He'd done it when they were 16 after they made love the first time.
Natalie smiles and pulls him to her, they kiss for a long while and eventually sit on one of the rocks.
"We haven't done this since we were 17" she sighs content and happy as they watch chunks of ice swirling in the river "I should have never let Andrew come between us"
"Things happen for a reason, I have you here with me now, and I'm never letting you go again" He kisses her temple softly meaning every word.
"Max, there's something else we need to talk about…" Natalie tells him gathering up all her courage and moving to get up so she could look at him.
Max turns so she can have his undivided attention and he looks at her curiously as she gets up and paces in front of him.
"Okay, this is whew, I'm just going to say it" Natalie fumbles looking for the right words.
Max gets up and grabs her hands trying to calm her down. "Hey, what's wrong?" He was concerned now.
"I'm pregnant" Natalie finally blurts out, biting her lip as she looks at him.
Max stares at her, not sure if he heard her correctly. "I'm sorry, what?"
"I'm pregnant…" Natalie whispers slower this time, she starts to panic as he looks like he's not processing what she is saying but she squeals when Max suddenly bends down picks her up, and spins them around in a circle.
Natalie bites her lip and gives a shy smile as he sets her down.
"Really Nat?" He can't contain his joy as a smile breaks out across his face.
"Yes, are you happy?" She giggles before Max kisses her fully and completely before he pulls back and smiles.
"I'm so happy, I…We're having a baby" he says out loud.
"That's another reason my emotions have been all over the place the past few weeks," she tells him, tears falling from her eyes again as she chuckles and wipes her eyes.
"How far along are you?" Max takes her hand and guides her to the rock again to sit down.
"4 ½ months, Hana took my blood when I got here and told me…I had no idea, I didn't even think I could still get pregnant…she did an ultrasound the other day when we were in the infirmary" Natalie squirms a little in discomfort as she sees the look that flashes across his face.
"You've known that long…" Max sighs, whipping his face, frustrated that Natalie still feels like she has to hide things from him.
"I'm sorry for keeping this from you, but I was just so confused about everything, then you go shot, and what does this even mean for us, we're about to be grandparents" Natalie gets up and paces again the river roaring behind her.
Max stands there for a minute processing as he watches her bounce all over the place with her emotions.
"Hey, it's okay…we will take this one step at a time together, I am here with you…I'm sorry you haven't felt like you could tell him," He vows, standing and grabbing her hand.
"I want this baby so much, I want for us to be a family, I swear I do, Max," She was tired, she was so tired of trying to figure this out, she was tired of worrying. Every day she spent with Max, Tris, and Hana she realized how much harder it would be if this was all taken away from them.
"I know and I will take down the entire faction system if I have to so our baby doesn't grow up factionless. I will move heaven and earth I promise you, Nat" He places a gentle hand on her stomach. Astonished that he feels a small bump, and looks up into her eyes. She places a hand over his. He realizes they haven't been intimate in a few weeks as he tries to remember if he noticed this the last time he saw her without any clothes on. He takes a good look at her now, her face is fuller and she is radiant. He'd missed everything with Tris, he wanted nothing more than for him and Natalie to be together and raise this baby in a safe and happy home.
"I don't want this baby to grow up factionless Max…" Seeing the joy in Max's eyes, she realizes she has been wrong about so many things. She needed him like she needed air, and after everything they had gone through they deserved this second chance but she couldn't have their child grow up factionless. She didn't want that for Caleb and Tris and didn't want it for this baby either.
"One step at a time" He reminds her but still looking at her. Natalie nods and moves closer to him, letting his arms wrap around her. She takes a deep breath to calm herself.
"I guess I should tell you…" she smiles and bites her lip. "It's a boy"
"I'm having a son...I mean we, I…It's a boy?" he rattles off, unable to contain his joy. Part of him wanted a son, but another part wanted a daughter. He couldn't make up for the time he and Natalie lost with Tris but now he couldn't wait to experience this with her. He had resigned before finding out about Tris, that he would never have children, taking joy in helping Hana raise Uriah and Zeke. It was one of the reasons he and Stacy couldn't make it. He only wanted this with Natalie.
Natalie laughs and squeals as he picks her up and twirls her around again. He kisses her thoroughly when he sets her down again and looks at her intensely.
"What?" Natalie asks, scrunching her nose up at how he stares at her.
"I always wanted to do this here. Our special place" Max felt electric in the moment, and he decided to go with his gut.
She looks around her and smiles, placing her hand on her belly again. She wished this was where they could have all their special moments.
"Marry me, Nat" Max asks quickly, taking her hands in his but never taking his eyes off her.
"Um I'm technically already married, Max," she tells him with a confused look. She wasn't sure how that would work especially because divorces weren't granted in Abnegation so she was still married to Andrew.
"Technically you're dead, I have a copy of your death certificate" he shrugs and she can't do anything but laugh at his rebuttal.
"I want to be with you for the rest of my life. We're having another baby, we have another chance at life together. I want you, Natalie Marie Wright, I want you to be my wife. I want to spend whatever days we have left together"
"I want you too, Max, I love you so much, Yes, I want to marry you," She tells him as she loops her arms around his neck and he runs his hands around her waist. "But.."
"No buts, Just say you'll marry me. In the Dauntless way, It can be just the two of us, it doesn't even have to be official, just us making our vows to each other"
Natalie smiles big and kisses him. She realizes they were joined together forever, as they should be. "No, I want our family there, however, we do it, I want you and our family, Always and Forever"
"Always and Forever" he grins before picking her up and spinning her around again, their laughter echoing through the chasm.
"Hey stranger," Uriah tells Christina as he grabs his take-out bag from the dining hall and sees Christina walking up.
"Hey," she tells him. She felt like it had been ages since she'd seen him. She was so happy to have her mother and sister with her but between them, work, and being at the hospital to see Will, she hadn't had time for much else.
"Do you have time for dinner?" He asks in a hopeful tone.
"Sorry, I promised my mom and Rose I would have dinner with them and then I need to go over the training plan for the Candor here that are going to help us screen people coming through the checkpoint"
She feels conflicted when she sees Uriah's face fall.
"Tomorrow? I don't think much will be going on with this blizzard for the next week"
"Your mom thinks Will is doing well and should be able to go home in a few days, I need to get his place set up and…" She rattles off, yes she and Uriah had gotten close but him being clingy was new and she didn't like it.
"What is this Chris? He pushes you away, but now you want him back?" Uriah asks as he pulls her into the corner of the dining hall to keep their conversation quiet.
"No, he needs me…" Christina says with an attitude and yanks her arm back. "He doesn't have anyone else to look after him"
"Helping him out is one thing, you've been at his bedside every waking moment…" Uriah spits back. It hurt and it hurt like hell. Christina didn't want him, he was just her second option.
"Why are you making such a big deal about this!" She pushes back.
"Because you're my girlfriend that's why!" He bellows and a few heads turn to look at them.
"Since when? We were supposed to be taking things slow, I've been upfront with you Uriah, every step of the way and you said you were okay with it, now all of a sudden things are different because you feel neglected?" Christina says, narrowing her eyes at him.
Uriah pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath. He was making a fool of himself and he was done.
"Message received, Christina," Uriah says with a curt nod. "See you around" He doesn't bother to look Christina in the eye as he walks away.
She curses and closes her eyes for a moment. "What am I doing?" she mutters to herself.
"Hi sweetheart" Stephanie calls as Christina enters the door to her apartment with the takeout bags for dinner. Victoria was working on finding a larger apartment for the three of them in the Pire, but for now, they were grateful to be in Christina's small one-bedroom. Rose and Christina were sharing her bed while Stephanie slept on the couch.
"Hi Mom, sorry I'm late. Where's Rose?"
Stepanie takes off her glasses sets down the papers she was looking over and gets up to help Christina unpack dinner.
"With Jack and Anna having dinner, you know his son Cameron and Rose are almost the same age, she was going stir crazy in here and Cameron has been shaken up with everything that happened with Niles. We thought it would be good for the two of them to spend time with each other, and help them adjust"
Christina nods as she pulls out a plate from the cabinet.
"What's wrong?" Stephanie could sense Christina was under a lot of stress and not her usual self who chattered on constantly.
Christina shrugs before she pulls the glasses down.
"Christina Renee, You may be Dauntless now but you know better than to lie to me" Stephanie challenges.
A large sigh comes from Christina. A candor mamma was always going to be a candor mamma.
"I'm sorry, I just, I'm not sure how I feel to be able to express it properly"
The mother and daughter sit at the table, together and Christina launches into her love triangle drama with Will and Uriah. Her mother, being a lawyer, listens and asks clarifying questions but lets Christina get out everything while they eat. She holds her hand when she sheds a few tears.
"Well my sweet girl, I have to say you have been the one that's unsure this entire time. It sounds like Will and Uriah have made their inventions very clear. And you've been unfair to Uriah"
"What if I messed up with Uriah, Will needs me right now" Christina argues.
"Does he? Or do you feel guilty about what happened between the two of you?" Stephanie counters.
Christina sighs and looks at the ceiling. Leave it to her mother to point out the obvious.
"You need to be truthful with yourself first Christina. When we are dishonest with ourselves, we can never attempt to correct the flaws we find within us' ' Stephanie reminds her daughter, reciting part of the Candor manifesto. "And until you are ready to be honest with yourself, I think you need to leave Will and Uriah alone"
Lynn downs the shot of liquor in front of her. She wasn't sure what time it was but she had argued with Shauna when she tried to get her to stay in the apartment.
"Another," she tells the bartender. She eyes Walter and Rex, two men who she worked on patrol with to and from Amity overseeing shipments. The train wasn't able to run due to the snowstorm and she remembers something.
"You seem intent on staying drunk today Lynn" Miach tells her as he pours her another drink. "What's got you upset?"
"Mind your own damn business and just keep my tab open" Lynn snaps as she takes the glass and walks over to the corner.
"Still in funeral mode there Lynn?" Walter asks, noticing that she looks disheveled with a drink in her hand.
Lynn sits down and looks over her shoulder and then leans close. "I want in on your next meeting"
"You're drunk," Rex says, shaking his head.
Lynn grabs his wrist and looks him dead in the eye. "I want in on the meeting" she repeats and he yanks his wrist back rubbing it.
"So you can tell your girlfriend and the rest of the leadership?" Walter sneers in a low voice and looks around.
Lynn takes the drink in her hand and drains it before slamming the glass down on the table in front of them.
"I should have never trusted that bitch and I know those divergent bastards can't be trusted"
Walter and Rex look at each other and nod. Lynn smiles and signals the bartender.
"Next round on me"
She was going to make them pay one way or another.