Yeah, I got the trigger, but you hold the gun

How come you never put the safety on?

Jax found himself heading up to Berkley at least once a month with Opie. He never made a trip by himself. He didn't think he trusted himself that much to make that trip. Instead, he would play the third wheel to Opie and Donna. However, more often than not, Quinn would end up joining him. Sometimes, with or without her doofus boyfriend. He did try to get to know the guy, but he had the personality of a wasp. He refrained from asking Quinn multiple times what in the hell did she see in the guy.

He only tolerated Stephen when Quinn brought him around some of the other people she would hang with. Mainly her roommate Michelle.

He was glad to know there was at least someone looking out for Quinn. He liked Michelle even more once it was revealed they mutually disliked Stephen.

Michelle had taken him and Quinn to a bar named the Library. It was a small, quaint place. It wasn't rowdy as he expected most college bars to be. Everyone kept to themselves as they either read books, which was laughable to him or played billiards or darts.

He had managed to score a pool table for the three of them. He was surprised to see that Michelle sucked ass at pool, and he didn't remember Quinn being this much of a competition. She explained that Bobby, Chibs, and Tig had taught her all their pointers before she left.

He was glad that he and Quinn were finding some common ground in their friendship. They still haven't addressed everything. He was starting to suspect that maybe they never would. It seemed too late. They were far removed from who they were months ago.

The biker also didn't want to crack their fragile peace by bringing up that he was an asshole. He didn't know how to win in this scenario.

Jax was too busy taking a sip of his beer when he missed the person coming up behind Quinn, who was eyeing her shot and ramming their hips into her, causing her to scratch.

"Hey!" She shouted. Her mouth was in a scowl before being swept into a tonsil hockey game. It almost made him want to spit his beer out. He didn't even know how the asshole knew they were there.

Figures Stephen would ruin the peaceful night.

Michelle approached with a scowl of her own once she came back with their refills.

"Asshat," Michelle greeted.

Stephen stiffened, and thank god that interrupted the nausea-inducing makeout session.

"Michelle," he replied with a fake smile. The man's deep brown eyes pinned him down. He knew the dislike between them was mutual. "Jax."

The tension is palpable. "I thought you had a thing tonight," Quinn said, breaking the tension.

Stephen shrugged. "Ended early. Rick texted, saying he saw you here."

"Oh," Quinn didn't know how to respond to that he could tell. It was also unsaid that the text stated she was here with another guy.

"Come get a beer with me."

"I'm in the middle of a game with-"

Jax waved her off. "We can start another game later."

Quinn seemed unsure but allowed Stephen to drag her to the bar. Michelle sneered before mumbling about finding this Rick dude.

Jax was left alone at the table. He thought he would finish his beer and call it a night. He felt bad about potentially crashing into Opie's and Donna's alone time.

"Hey."

He turned to find a pretty redhead standing next to him.

"You still up for a game."

He nodded his head as he began lining up the balls. "Jax."

She flashed him a flirty smile. "Rebecca."

Quinn knew she had no right to feel any type of way. After all, she had a boyfriend whose arms she was wrapped in. Yet, she recognized when Jax was flirting. She knew what it looked like for someone caught in his snare.

Rebecca was pretty, too, with her auburn hair, heart-shaped face, and pouty lips. Michelle even had a night with Rebecca once.

Quinn couldn't help the twisting of her stomach as she watched the two of them.

"You look happy."

Jax looked up from the book he was reading as his grandfather returned from the greenhouse. "Do I?"

"Noticed you've been heading to Berkley a lot."

Jax rolled his eyes. He knew what his granddad was getting at. Nate came over and eyed him critically. Sometimes, he could see his mother in those eyes. "So you and Quinn are talking?"

"We hang out when I'm up there."

"Is that what the kids call it these days?"

Jax scrunched his nose. "We are only hanging out. She seems to be doing good up there."

"Well, I would hope so, considering all those issues with her mother. I'm surprised Elliot married her."

Jax's brows furrowed. He knew Quinn wasn't close to her mom. She was closer to Elliot. He never bothered to ask about Cillian. They all knew he was an asshole since his injury. He didn't see the point in bringing up her family while they were hanging out. "What do you mean?"

"All I know was your father and Stella were best friends before she got with Quinn's father. Got her hooked on drugs," Nate informed him.

"Her mom was a junkie?"

Nate nodded his head. "You wouldn't remember. You were young, but there were a lot of times your dad would have to go out there…and help Stella out." Nate looked at him with narrowed eyes. "You never talked about this with her?"

"It was never brought up. I just thought her mom was…cold."

Nate hummed. "Quinn's a bright young woman. Don't dim her light, son."

Their night was simple for once. They just needed to man the bar. There was no party to work through. There is no pressing celebration. It was a simple couple of weeks for the club, and Jax was grateful. He remembered his mom telling Luann, Otto's old lady, that the club could get downright boring.

Jax would appreciate the boring times as he knew how hectic it could get. Jax hoped his dad would apply him and Opie to tag along with the club to Oregon. He was itching to be more involved in the club. He was ready for his year to be up. He wanted more responsibilities.

Opie came from the stock room with some beer to replenish. "So, you've been going to Berkley more."

Jax shrugged. He was, and sometimes it wasn't even with the sole purpose of seeing Quinn. Yet, there was only so much he could take seeing her with Stephen. Now, he had an excuse to see Rebecca. Rebecca was fun and wild. It was carefree. It was clear there were no strings attached. They both understood they were having fun and needed a change from the pickings they had already run through.

"It's nothing serious. Rebecca's a friend."

Opie snorted. "How does Quinn feel about that?"

Jax frowned. When he thought about it, she hadn't said much. She asked him about it vaguely while she was dying her hair pink that other day when he stopped by but didn't press. Those shutters she perfected came back down on her eyes. Yet, she never said anything negative about Rebecca. He had asked Rebecca vague questions about Quinn, who didn't have much to say.

"Why does it matter? She has a boyfriend."

"So, if she is your friend, shouldn't her opinion matter?"

Jax scowled. "Do you have a problem with Rebecca or something?"

"No, watching you and Quinn dance around each other is painful and pitiful."

Quinn was sad that the semester was coming to an end. She had avoided going home during the small breaks, but she knew she couldn't avoid going home for Winter without a valid excuse.

Besides, she did want to see Elliot. Considering all he had provided for her, he didn't deserve the lack of contact. She just didn't know what she would do for a month. She couldn't see herself hanging with Opie and Jax. She knew how busy they were being Prospects in the club. It would also feel like she was reverting to that high school girl trailing after them like a shadow.

Quinn sighed as she took a sip of her chai latte. She would miss this coffee shop for sure. If anything, going back to Charming, she could find some inspiration. She felt as if she was in some sort of writer's block. She didn't like any of her writing.

She returned to her journal and read over some fragments, hoping for a spark, when the chair across from her was pulled out.

She looked to find Rick. His brown hair was slicked back, and she was surprised to see him wearing thick black glasses. He even had a brown cardigan on over some nice black jeans. She was used to seeing him in sweats and hoodies. Rick had money like Stephen did, but he didn't flaunt it.

"Can I help you?"

He flashed her a smile, showing off his pearly whites. "Thought I would come by and say hi."

"Should have kept walking."

He feigned hurt as he placed a hand over his heart. "You wound me, and I thought we were friends."

"You are friends with Stephen."

"Not in the way you are friends with that Jax."

Quinn lifted her head from her journal. She wondered if Stephen had sent Rick over since he was too afraid to ask the questions himself. She couldn't figure out why Rick would care anything about her prior history with Jax.

"If you want Jax's number, all you need to do is ask. Although, I don't think he swings that way."

He rapped his knuckles against the table. "You got jokes."

"And a lack of patience."

He put his hands up in mock surrender, "I can tell I am not wanted. I'll leave you be."

Quinn didn't acknowledge his departure but couldn't leave without a final word. "You know you deserve better than both of them."

Quinn was the first person he wanted to tell. It wasn't as if it was some life-changing milestone, but it felt like he was finally finding a way into the club. He did appreciate that his dad wasn't showing him any favoritism.

So he could finally show his worth working on a run with Otto on a run. They had a quick run-in with Darby's crew, and because of his quick thinking, Darby had a run-in with Charming's finest instead of them.

He had been proud when his dad pulled him aside and said Otto said he did well out there. He was the future the club needed. Jax couldn't wipe the smile off his face; even better, Quinn had nothing in her plans. He quickly made the trip after confirming he wasn't needed.

So now they were having ice cream while walking along the streets, simply talking. Jax didn't realize how nice it was talking to Quinn again. That awkwardness between them seemed to have faded. He missed hearing Quinn's wisdom and perspectives regarding things.

He didn't care if anyone saw them, so he held her hand tightly in his. "How come we didn't do this in Charming?"

Quinn gave him a small smile as she bumped shoulders with him. "You know why."

That Jax did. He thought down the line, he would regret it. He did regret how things went down, but he would never regret those moments between them. He did regret if he made her feel she deserved the treatment he gave her. She wasn't just some dirty secret to him.

"I am sorry, Quinn, for how things started in high school."

"I appreciate the apology. We both made our decisions, though," she replied. "What happened…happened. I'm glad you were my first."

Jax moved his hand from hers and wrapped his arm around her shoulder. "Do you tell people about us?"

"It's not like I have a list of friends," she remarked dryly. "But I've told Michelle. Donna finally asked about it."

Jax kissed her forehead as they walked with their melting ice cream.

Quinn decided to dress more formally for this last poetry reading. She had put some nice waves in her hair and retouched the pink dye. It was more vibrant. The next battle was trying to figure out her outfit. In the end, her outfit simply consisted of a black t-shirt with some white dickies and simple jewelry.

She looked at herself in her full-body mirror, and for once, she felt satisfied with her appearance. She dabbled in lipgloss and triple-checked that she had all her writing.

She was sad that Michelle couldn't make the show as she had to work. She thought maybe she should have told Elliot. He would have come. It was the showcase for aspiring writers at the end of the semester that the writing club put out. As much as she was nervous about public speaking, she needed this experience if she planned on having a writing career.

She was triple-checking her bag to ensure she had everything when her front door opened. Michelle always forgot to lock it, so she scowled.

She was surprised to see Stephen walking in wearing a tailored suit. He scowled at her. "What the hell are you wearing?"

She looked down at her outfit. "What's wrong with it?"

He didn't answer her as he rushed into her room and opened her closet door. He was scouring for something.

"Stephen, what the hell are you doing?"

"We have dinners with my parents, remember? I told you this last week."

She narrowed her eyes. She remembered that conversation and telling him she couldn't make it that night. She could do lunch instead or something for the next day. He didn't listen to her.

"And I told you I couldn't make it tonight."

"And why is that?"

"My reading is tonight."

"You can read your feelings aloud some other time."

"Get out."

He looked back at her in disbelief. "Excuse me."

"You heard me. I want you out. I'm done with your bullshit."

"My bullshit?"

"Yeah, your bullshit. Why do your parents even need to meet me?" It wasn't as if they ever really were much of a couple. They mainly fucked, and Stephen had no problem telling people that.

"Well, excuse me if I thought you would want to move above being a biker whore."

Quinn wasn't going to argue with him. He could show himself out.

She didn't know what was worse, being the first or last reader at an event. She happened to be the last one. All the other writers before her were amazing, and she couldn't help but feel like an imposter.

Quinn took a shaky breath as she looked out into the audience. Her breath caught in her throat as she saw a flash of black. She realized it was Jax wearing his SAMCRO snapback. He offered her a tiny wave.

After she was done, and her teachers congratulated her and informed the audience of the refreshments available, Quinn quickly sought out Jax.

She jumped into his arms, and he twirled her.

"How did you know about this?"

"The question is, why didn't you tell me?" He answered as he placed her back on her feet.

"I just thought you would be busy." She knew that being a Prospect, he had to be at the beck and call of the club. Besides, she wanted to avoid the disappointment of him never showing up.

Jax cupped her cheek. His blue eyes seemed bright even in the warm lighting the room provided. "I'll always make time for you, darlin'."

"You want to slow down a bit?"

Jax watched as Quinn downed another tequila shot. With how she was going, he knew she would end the night upchucking in the toilet.

She gave him a pouty look before the smile turned mischievous and downed the shot. He knew there was no point in stopping her. He was glad she felt safe enough to drink like this in front of him.

He was also glad that he was able to make her poetry reading. He was surprised when Michelle reached out to him about it. She had been bummed she couldn't make it and wondered if he would show up for her. It had been a no-brainer that he would go. He wasn't going to miss it.

He was glad he had come because he hadn't seen a smile on her face like that. He also noticed that since they entered the bar, she was much more comfortable between his legs than on the bar stool. He wasn't going to complain about that. However, he didn't want to get entrenched in the same situation they had in high school.

"Where's Stephen?" He blurted.

Her brows pinched together, and a look of disgust came over her face. "We broke up."

"Oh?" That surprised Jax. He thought for sure they would last the whole school year, unfortunately. "What happened?"

Quinn turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I don't want to talk about him."

"No, what do you want to talk about?" He inquired.

He was unprepared for her to deposit herself in his lap. Even more so for how she rolled her hips against him. "How about that you fuck better him?"

That had his blond brows skyrocket to his forehead, but then he chuckled a bit. "Baby, I fuck better than everyone."

She gave another tantalizing roll of her hips. "Do you miss me fucking you?"

"You're drunk," he reminded her. He knew in the morning that she would be embarrassed if she remembered anything. But with her flushed cheeks and blown pupils, he was going to have to drown her in water.

"So, I still miss fucking you."

Jax gave her a soft smile before waving for the bartender to bring them some water.

Quinn didn't remember her bed being this comfortable or warm. She snuggled into the warmth even more, wiggling her lower half.

A hand stilled her hips. "You keep doing that; we will have a problem."

Quinn's eyes popped open. She looked down and was relieved she still had clothes on. She peeked over her shoulder to find Jax still had his eyes closed. He was shirtless. She didn't remember them ever making it back to her place.

Jax took her out to celebrate. They were at the Library, and she remembered taking some shots. She tried to coax Jax with even more Tequila shots, but he preferred to sip on his beer. He encouraged her to have some fun. But maybe a little too much fun, especially as she was hit with the memory of straddling his waist in public.

How embarrassing!

"Stop thinking so hard," he mumbled into her pillow. It was so easy for him to say that. She tried to get comfortable to get back to sleep, but she was already up. She moved out of his hold. She was glad Stephen didn't see the need to trash her place when she left him. That wasn't the brightest idea she ever had.

She took a quick shower to wake her up even more. She was lucky she wasn't queasy from all the alcohol. She wasn't surprised to find Jax awake, lying in bed.

"How you feeling?"

"Surprisingly, fine," she replied. What was worse was her drawer for her underwear was on the side of the bed Jax was on.

"Shocking, considering you drank your weight in liquor."

"I have developed a very high tolerance," she informed him proudly as she approached her dresser.

Jax snorted as he sat up and placed his feet down on the side of the bed. "Secret lessons from Piney?"

"Wouldn't you like to know?"

Jax smirked at her. "Come here."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow. She walked between his legs and didn't put up any resistance as he pulled her towel away.

"You're not drunk, right?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Painfully sober."

Jax's lips twitched before he took one of her nipples in her mouth. The moan she gave was downright embarrassing as she clutched Jax's growing hair.

"I got you," he whispered as he released the tightening bud. He placed kisses across her chest before moving her to straddle his waist. "I got you," he repeated.

She allowed herself to believe him.