Smoke 16

Eventually, the week off came to an end. Harry had ended up by the end of Monday going on a stoned cooking spree and ended up with five different curries, with enough left over to make bentos for a further week. Furthermore, He'd invited Tokoyami, Todoroki and Midoriya back for a meat night.

Kyoka had often elected to live at his from Monday to Thursday and spent Friday to Sunday at her parents. The Jiros had ordered Harry and Sirius to join them for a Sunday meal every other Sunday. Mika and Kyotoku had been surprised when Harry had served them various Roasts.

Flashback

Izuku, Inko, Sirius, Sona, Kyotoku and Miko had settled down at the expansive table that seemed to dominate the kitchen.

"Are you sure there's nothing you need us to do?" Mika asked.

"Kaa-san, Harry likes to cook. All he wants for you is to sit back and relax and probably babysit his Godfather." Kyoka chimes in.

"More than likely Mika-san…wait a second Kyoka…did you say 'babysit me?'" Sirius responded absentmindedly eliciting laughs from the Midoriyas and Sona.

"Right then. Sirius…move your ass and get the knives. Three roasts coming through!"

Kyokas stomach rumbled as Harry placed a veritable mound of dishes containing a variety of vegetables, a large golden baked pudding, three different types of potatoes and three different meats. "Since no-one actually got back to me on what meat they wanted…I improvised. We've got Chicken, Beef and Lamb and…" Harry was cut off my a sharp ding "Sausages. Sirius…I trust you can't mess up the slicing of the meat."

"I've done that before…just not cooking." Sirius replied. He then proceeded with some deft skill of carving the plateau of meat.

Needless to say when Harry brought a banquet of desserts ranging from treacle tart to something that was meant to be mochi. Mika took pity on their host and offered to teach him how to make his own.

Harry and Sirius provided Food-Coma transportation. In essence, they carried an overstuffed Kyotoku back to the car. "Thanks for a brilliant meal, we'll have to do this again at some point."

End Flashback

Meat knight entailed all sorts of delicious foods that had meat at their focus. Steak sandwiches, burgers and a pizza that almost put Tokoyami into a food coma from the smell. "Potter, if being a hero doesn't work out, my father would hire you as a chef for his agency if he got a taste of this."

"Todoroki, he'll have to acquire my pop-up van restaurant and street food." Harry replied, they'd gotten the early train and were currently in their homeroom class eating the leftovers of Harry's cooking.

Although, eating, is not the precise word more devouring the food. The hard truth of the matter was whenever Harry brought his own food in he seldom got to eat it due to the rest of class seemingly conspiring to steal it.

"I still don't understand the dark motives that our class has to take your food."

"They need to git gud at life. Mooching won't get them far. I refuse to give my food."

At that moment Aizawa shuffled in "I trust there's a retroactive correction in that statement, Potter."

Harry smirked "No retroactive corrections necessary considering it's you. I have two bentos for you, healthy, wholesome and far more delicious and nutritious than those liquid pouches you consume."

Aizawa raised an eyebrow before taking the proffered bentos. Going for the meat one first, his stomach gurgled at the sheer pile of delectable treats in front of him. There were two ribs of lamb, a chicken breast, what was meant to be a Menchi Katsu, and what could only be described as a sausage. There were also prawns present along with little pots of different sauces each with a label. "My thanks, Potter, you didn't have…"

"I wanted to…besides, consider this a taste of what's to come."

Aizawa smirked "If it wasn't for the fact that my phone blew up with images from the problem child of you cooking…I'd have not believed you."

"Aizawa-sensei, Harry's food is biblical." Kyoka chimed in nicking Todoroki's lamb ribs. Todoroki nodded at the punk rocker and chose not to do anything; he'd get her later. Provided his response was well measured Potter wouldn't get involved.

By now 1-A assembled in their homeroom "Right, I suppose I've got two notices. In three days we've got the Sports Festival and the other is we will be hosting exchange students.""

Harry froze and slowly raised his hand "Potter?"

"Aizawa-bucho…is the school, Hogwarts?" Aizawa's eyes widened at the extreme formality, Potter never really used the full honorifics unless it was to quell his suspicions.

"It is." He was expecting his student and mentee to lose his mind over that fact. Potter impressed him by merely exhaling a long stream of smoke accompanied by a resounding thump of his head hitting his desk.

"Fucking insufferable lemon-drop swallowing goat-faced interfering menace, what's his fucking ploy? Okay calm down, beat something to pieces, contact your godfather and play this by ear."

"Am I going to be expecting any problems?"

"Few cracked skulls, broken ribs, some concussions and maybe, just maybe a side of carbon monoxide poisoning."

"Potter, surely you can't be…" Blustered Iida.

"I know my crookedly bent and bent crooked Headmaster than you. He's doing this to orchestrate some fucked-up thirty-three step plan to get me back under his thumb. The culmination of this plan will probably boil down to me facing my own super-villain at the worst possible time for Japan, in Japan. He's been meddling in my life for fifteen years and why my life has been so shit for fifteen years, Iida-chan. So forgive me if I'm not overly enthusiastic about seeing my temperamental, twitchy, tetchy and quite frankly terrible school-peers. Just please tell me you're not putting Lions and Snakes together."

Aizawa paused "Nezu had seen the plans and that is on the cards…why? Do you have a problem with that?"

"The Snakes hate me, subsequently the Lions, and vice-versa…there's going to be some backlash on UA because of a few problem children in both classes can't be civil for more than three seconds. I'm one of them."

Aizawa nodded "We've got homeroom to probe Potter about what we can expect."

Harry sighed "If it's alright for everyone…I'd prefer Aizawa-bucho to do the questioning. I do not feel like opening up about anything…not important. I need this to go as migraine-reducing as I can."

Aizawa nodded "Give me a rundown on how your previous school runs things."

Harry nodded "We're split into four groups, Lions, Badgers, Eagles and Snakes…based on what suits us at eleven. Lions are the brave and daring…think All Might, Badgers for hard work and loyalty, Eagles for intelligence and research and Snakes for cunning and political manoeuvrings. Our classes are mostly the same only we train for European Problems, our language classes only really cover French, Spanish and German so the learning curve is going to be different. When we do well, we earn points for our houses and when in trouble we lose points. The house with the most points wins the cup. In the Snake House, there's Malfoy Draco, Crabbe Vincent and Goyle Gregory who are my main three harassers. It's mostly verbal and sometimes physical, I try to turn the other cheek but they begin to make mockery of the fact that I'm an Orphan so…"

"You retaliate. They cry to a professor about you attacking first and you get punished."

Harry nodded "I've notified a teacher but nothing is ever done then their professor, who really dislikes me for being born takes it out on me. Although he now really dislikes me."

"How come Lung-Cancer?" Bakugo growled.

"I quite literally kicked the shit out of him and I had a knife to his throat and a volcano lance at his temple. I was out for blood and vengeance."

Aizawa's eyes widened "You attempted to kill your teacher!"

Harry nodded "Wasn't going to. I meant to prove a point. If I ever see him again I'd be likely to try and follow throught on my promise. Which was I'd make you useless to anything you have to offer. He's a brilliant chemist, so I'd take away his hands or something as such."

That stunned Class 1-A, they knew their exchange student was skilled but that skilled? "Didn't you say that you wanted to take us all on at some point?" Tsuyu stated.

Harry sighed "I do…look, when my…illustrious ex-peers arrived the phrase 'dick-swinging' will be evident. It'll give me time to set some records straight and stomp some egos…some are so weak that Mineta-chan could take. No offence."

"Some taken. Are the heroines-in-training on at your ex-school fit?"

"Mineta…to save, Aizawa-sensei, from having to scrape grape juice blood and bone off the walls I'm going to ignore that."

The interrogation ended as Mic entered to teach them for English. Soon enough the lesson ended and as the bell rang. Harry made for the door to find a multitude of heads and bodies blocking him in "Where'd you think you're going Hero Course." Snarled a student with a perfectly square jaw.

"Out for a piss, shit and a cig, in no particular order." Harry replied taking a drag of his vape.

"You do know that…"

"I do. If Nezu has a problem, I'll bring up the fact I'm locked in my classroom by 18 Dipshits."

"You think your better than us!" Someone shouted.

"The fuck…okay, please…explain." Harry asked exceptionally dumbfounded. It was then Shinso spoke up.

"Jimi Hendrix."

Harry turned "Purple Haze…so…mind explaining to the Gaijin what's with the feeling a herd of cattle?"

Shinso smirked "There are 40 or 41 student places on the Hero Course, everyone in General Education is either smart or Hero Student Failures…"

Harry nodded "So the more Heroic of the General Studies students try to make a show of strength and attempt to unsettle the Hero Course Students, either both or the ones who had the most interesting experiences."

Shinso nodded, at that point Bakugo stood up his hands crackling furiously "Shinso, I, really, need to go to the loo." Shinso stepped aside and Harry headed towards the loos. Harry sighed in relief as he entered an empty cubicle only to find that it was empty of loo roll and all the spares.

Then a cackling entered his hearing as he heard a group of people entered "Monoma, that was slick…hiding all the loo rolls from the toilets. I wonder if we caught anyone?"

Harry grunted causing the voices to stop slightly "Who is it?"

"A student who's currently talking to the bog-roll thieves, now, if one of you charming lads could throw me one or two it'd be appreciated."

"What course are you on?"

"Why does that matter? Bog-roll thief-kun?"

"Kinda…this is a bathroom normally used by the 1-A Kids."

"I…see…look I'm not 1-A, I'm in Gen-Ed, I got dragged hear by Shinso-chan too look at the zoo-exhibit that appears to be the Class 1-A. I got the wrong day, I thought it was 1-B with the better exhibit…oh and food poisoning, you know how that is."

"I know dude! It sucks. I learned that the hardway, Monoma can't cook aside from microwave meals."

"Damn…" Harry choked as he grunted "Monoma…remind me to teach how to cook, if…timetables overlap." Unfortunately as he leant forwards and his second favourite vape-fluid fell out of his blazer, a triple-mango-and-pineapple-menthol rolled out from under the stall.

"Kudos for trying Smoke-San, we clocked you entering."

Harry sighed "So which primitive screwheads am I talking to? Aside from pubescent prickly Monoma, I don't recognise you."

"Awase Yotetsu."

"Pleasure to meet you…as you've guessed, I'm Smoke. Now, I'm guessing this is where you use your quirks to either hold me hostage or attempt to beat me up to prove that 1-B have bigger testes than 1-A."

There was a pause from the other side "It was…why?"

Harry grinned to himself "Kudos for admitting it Awase-chan. Now by all means go ahead and see what happens. Or…perhaps, just perhaps you can acquiesce with my request and we might be able to settle this with a brawl which will give me some respect for you. Or maybe you'll lock me in, I lose any respect for you and I make you my bitch. Oh and either way you're giving me my vape fluid back or buying me a new one."

A small trail of movement caught his eye as a part of the cubicle darkened, and two arms appeared holding a loo roll and his vape fluid "You've gotta…WHAT THE FUCK! THAT BURNS!" Harry lashed out his hands catching the wrists of the invader and squeezed as he activated his quirk. He caught the items and finished up before trying the door. It was clearly unlocked but it had been barricaded shut, a slight panic came over him, he looked to the top to see a kid wearing a bandana smirking at him.

"We'll back at say…lunch time to see if you're willing to admit it."

Harry sighed and he winked at the teen "We'll see about that gorgeous." The teen flushed and welded him inside.

(Class 1-A)

Bakugo scowled as he watched three 1-B kids leave their bathroom. One was grinning maniacally, one was whimpering and the other one still blushing but no Smokestack. "Ears."

"What?"

"Where's Smokestack? He ain't come back from his cig?"

Jiro looked around "Kinda obvious ain't it. I don't think he's even back from the toilet."

At that moment Midnight entered as Yaoyorozu's phone rang. "You know my policy, Yaoyorozu-chan. Answer it."

Y: Smoke-kun…are you alright?

H: One Woman Army! I'm fine…it's just…hang on am I on loud speaker?

Y: You are…why?
H: Look…I need Tapeman and your assistance.
M: Why would you specifically need their help Smoke-kun?
H: Hello to you as well Midnight-Sensei…I need OWA's quirk and Sero's genitalia…

Both students blushed and Midnight smirked M: So you're intending to be a naughty boy then?

H: Why of course. Having a threesome with someone who isn't my girlfriend is going to go over spectacularly with said girlfriend…Although if she's willing.

Kyoka blushed before cutting in K: Smoke, if you don't my company for the foreseeable future you'll cut to the fucking chase.

H: Fine…I need a propane blowtorch and Sero to cut me out of the cubicle.

B: Lung-Cancer, are you saying you're locked in the toilet! They lock from the inside!

H: No, Bangugo, sealed in. Come and have look, I've got nothing to do for two hours. Say Midnight!

M: Yes?

H: What class would Yotetsu Awase, Monoma and some kid with black arms have right now?

M: They'd have foundational heroics with Vlad King and All Might, why?
H: I've got some bones to have and words to break with them. Rather do it in their lesson than breaking them over lunch. Now…about that blowtorch?

Bakugo recorded the entire thing of Sero cutting his classmate out of the loo. Bakugo found nothing wrong with selecting the Tape-Teen, he even had a quirk for patching up after his handiwork.

He had never seen Smoke so pissed off. His quirk was boiling off him, swirling swarming and forming into a shadowy version of his suit. "Sero…thanks dude, I owe you."

"Help me with manoeuvres whilst flying and we've got a deal."

Midnight let out a sigh "Potter-chan, can you possibly hold on until lunch to have your cigarette or vape?"

"I would if it wasn't for the fact it's run out and one of my lovely colleagues in 1-B stole it before locking me in the room. I am going to get it back or I'm crashing the Vampires lesson and teach 1-B to leave my shit be."

"Stealing is an expellable offence."

"Just two pubescent punks trying to bully me. Boys will be boys. Besides this is an inconvenience more than anything else."

Midnight nodded slowly "Are you sure you don't need me to take this up with Vlad King?"

"I'll deal with this and Vlad King. I'll get 'em during homeroom."

Midnight nodded and the day resumed. The final homeroom had arrived and as Aizawa entered, Harry stood up "Where are you going? And why does Sero have a blowtorch?"

"To talk to Vampire wannabe and make a point why provoking is a bad idea. As for the blowtorch, I kinda got sealed in the bathroom. I don't mean locked in, I mean…the door was merged with cubicle to the floor and ceiling and I needed Sero to blowtorch me out. I could have but I doubt the Principal would appreciate having to replace an entire bathroom as opposed to just a door. I'm not even annoyed at having to get blowtorched out of the cubicle, I'm more annoyed that the shits that did it decided to steal my shit and the loo rolls."

"Didn't you get the vape fluid back." Mina asked pointing to it on his desk.

"It's the fact of the matter. Take my shit, I'll get even."

Aizawa smirked "Go ahead."