Chapter 1: The plan
On Fridays, there was a meeting of rats in Saillune's cellars. It was a night they looked forward to. All thirty of them would groom their whiskers with their finest filth and show up as soon as the moon came out. Then they would talk about magical rebellion between sips of red wine and whispers of the castle between whites and rosés. However, tonight there were no whiskers among the bottles, nor tails or little paws among the shelves. Tonight they had all fled in terror. Today something terrifying occupied the castle cellars. It was a short, red-haired sorceress. Some called her "enemy of all who lives," others preferred to curse her name: Lina Inverse.
And Lina was synonymous with misfortune and, as usual, misfortunes never come alone. A withered chimera sat to her left, a blond mercenary to her right.
"Well?" Zel growled. "Are you going to tell me what the hell we're doing in the cellars at three in the morning?"
Lina and Gourry looked at each other. They were both wearing parts of the road on their clothes. They looked tired, filthy, and yet they were smiling. That, that knowing smile, should have been the first warning sign. The second was that they hadn't stopped by the kitchens yet or gone to greet Amelia first. No. Instead, they had sneaked into his room in the middle of the night and scared the hell out of him.
After that little heart attack, they had stirred up his blankets and dragged his sorry ass to that cellar, to the very bowels of the palace.
"Okay. So it all started when…"
With the smile still on her mouth, the sorceress began her story. The other two stayed put while Lina Inverse spoke. And she spoke and spoke. She spoke until the yellow candle turned into a gooey stain on the table. And until their glasses were all empty.
When she finished, Lina poured herself more wine and turned to her left. "Well, what do you think?"
"No way."
"Come on, Zel" said the girl. "It'll be easy. Like stealing candy from a child."
"Candy?" asked Gourry "But... I thought we were going to steal a treasure."
The other two turned in their seats and Gourry smiled. The mercenary had long blond hair and an uncanny ability to dodge flip-flops. Thus, he gracefully dodged the first flip-flop while the second one grazed his ear. Unfortunately, he didn't see the fireball coming.
Now, the mercenary still had an uncanny anti-flip-flop ability and blond hair that used to be long.
"OW! Lina!"
He pouted. She rolled her eyes and sat back down in her box. "I really don't know why I invited you to this meeting."
The boy continued to stare at her, so she added: "Really?! Of course, it's not candy, you idiot. I swear, sometimes I don't understand if you're doing it on purpose or if…"
Zelgadis sighed and let his eyes wander around the dark cellar: around the almost burned-out candle, the noisy friends, the empty glasses. The chimera sighed again and, for the first time, wondered if he wasn't getting too old for this: for putting up with his friends, for meetings in boxes that served as chairs. To always count to 10 and hoped, or rather, prayed, for the storm that was Lina Inverse to subside.
When he reached 9, Zel took a breath and interrupted the sorceress. "So that it is then?"
The girl who was also a storm turned around: "What is what?"
"That thing you want to steal, Lina. Do you even know what it is?"
"I've already told you. Something valuable."
He raised his eyebrows and reached out to grab another of Phil's fine wine bottles. He wasn't nearly drunk enough for this.
"Let me see if I understand correctly. "the aroma of the red wine filled the room. When the glass was full, Zel continued speaking. "Next week, the kingdom of Hasturios opens its doors for the first time in 200 years.
"Yup."
Zelgadis let out another sigh. Several years of life escaped with that breath. "A kingdom of which we know nothing. Only that it is a mystery".
"A rich mystery" she added.
He glared at her. "One that has been sealed with some kind of magic. A powerful kingdom. One that is superstitious and…"
"Did I say rich? I meant really rich".
"And that can only be entered with a royal invitation."
"Exactly. You're getting the hang of it."
Zel's eyebrows said it all.
"And your plan is to trick Amelia…"
"Hey. Hey! I said 'convince'. Convince is the word there."
Now his eyebrows furrowed, like dark mountains, like harsh threats.
"Bullshit! Your plan is to trick Amelia into taking us all because 'this fantastic historic event is not to be missed.' And all because you suspect that Hasturios still has those diamond mountains that the legends speak of."
Lina nodded eagerly.
"Legends, Lina," he insisted. "Legends from 200 years ago."
"So? I don't see the problem there."
"Well, suit yourself, then. For once, I'll pass." His intention was to sound disinterested and tired. But, for some reason, his voice didn't get the message. It grew in intensity with each word. With every breath that came out of his lips. "You already dragged me once to the other side of a magic barrier. And all I found were rocks and guns. So forgive me if I ignore your offer, your shitty plan and your…"
"Hey, hey, Zel. What's gotten into you?"
Lina was frowning and Gourry was looking at him as if he had suddenly grown another head.
"I thought you were desperate to leave Saillune. Weren't you the one who told me that you were bored with so many rules and protocols? Aren't you the one who always looks for an excuse to travel with us? The one who talks about adventures and new places?" Lina studied her friend. His mouth was serious. His face was sullen. "What's the problem? I thought you'd be thrilled."
Exactly, what was his fucking problem? Lina's dumb ideas never had gotten him so worked up. He usually sighed and played along. Or shook his head and moved out of the way of her fireballs. Maybe he really was getting too old for all this shit. Maybe… Zel shook his glass and chased away those thoughts. Instead, he said: "It's just nuts, Lina."
But she didn't want to hear that. Much less let it go. "No. Now you're going to give me a proper reason."
The chimera let out a laugh. "Just one? Very well. That plan is shit. Well, that is, if you can even call 'Let's get in and then figure out the rest' a plan.
"We've gotten into bigger adventures, Zel. And you know it. Without plans. Without thinking twice."
Zelgadis was going to add a 'but'. Lina decided to ignore him.
"In fact, this wouldn't be the most dangerous adventure" she continued "nor the craziest. Damn, not so long ago, one of our brilliant plans was to dress you up as a woman to get into the kingdom Femenil. And you agreed to it."
"Reluctantly" he muttered.
"Yes, and... didn't you dress up as a rabbit too, Zel?"
He made a pained gesture. "Gourry, you're not helping."
But Lina applauded the intervention and continued giving reasons, one after another. They came out of her like bullets, like fireballs loaded with extra malice.
"There's also that time when you recited that song to us because we thought it was a spell."
"Please…"
"And that time in the temple of love that…"
"Have mercy, Lina."
Zelgadis was starting to feel trapped, surrounded. Even Gourry gave him arguments and reasons. Now, a brief but escaped from his lips:
"But…"
"But...?"
"But we've never lied to Amelia before."
A white smile crept up Lina's mouth. "Oh, Zel. Don't tell me that…"
She left the option hanging. And Zel was quick to shoo it away.
"No" he nearly shouted "It's not what you think. It's just that... even I have my limits, okay? She's my friend. How do you expect me to get involved in this? I'm her fucking bodyguard, dammit. How the hell do you expect me to keep my job if she...? No, Lina. I won't be a part of this.
Lina's smile froze on her face. "And I suppose you won't stay out of it either. That you'll intervene if I try to sweet-talk Amelia into going to Hasturios."
"You guessed that one right," said the other.
"Shame."
Lina clicked her tongue. "Yeah, that's a shame... isn't it, Gourry?"
The boy felt a strong blow to his shin, and suddenly, he agreed with his friend very very much.
"Yes," he muttered through his teeth. "Quite a shame."
"Lina…"
"If I'm not mistaken, Saillune will receive a formal invitation soon. And, you see, the city will have to send a diplomat no matter what. Politics, protocol... you know, that crap. It occurred to me that Amelia would have liked the idea of the four of us going together. Like old times. Like our old adventures. But... never mind."
The sorceress stood up carefully and reached for the nearest bottles of wine. She took the most expensive-looking one. "Don't worry, Zelgadis. If you don't want to take part in this, we'll find another way in."
She picked up her flip-flops. Then, she turned towards the door, with Gourry following her. And, just as she was about to exit, she stopped again. "You know? The legends of Hasturios don't just talk about golden thrones and mountains of diamonds. I think… yes, I think there's even one legend that talked about the super-advanced magic of that realm and all the wonderful spells lost in time. Who knows, one of those might even contain information on how to undo transformations. Or how to return something to its previous state."
One part of Zelgadis, the good and honest part of him, wanted to call bullshit and tell her to fuck off. That part whispered to him that, while he might be a jerk, he still had some values, that Amelia kept telling him how noble he was and that, sometimes, he even flirted with that idea too. However, the chimera also had a selfish part. The very same part that was now on the second bottle of Philionel's private wine stash and that, with the alcohol on its side, had gotten louder and braver as only drunks could. That part no longer had a coherent speech. In fact, It only shouted "Do it! DO IT! Louder and louder.
He was definitely going to regret this and yet...
"Wait."
"Yes?"
"Count me in."
A moonless night covered Saillune. The candle in the cellar had long gone out and his friend wasn't even facing him. Still, Zelgadis knew that Lina was smiling when she said: "Perfect."