Παλαιά καινοίς δακρύοις ου χρη στένειν. (Don't waste fresh tears over old sorrows) — Euripides
"It would be simple enough to code and run," Doctor Akagi said after flipping through the notebook Asuka had handed her. The two of them were in the woman's claustrophobic office. The room was dominated by a desk with multiple monitors and keyboards, wires trailing off to connect to unseen devices, with most flat surfaces serving as home to several filled ashtrays, too many mugs of stale coffee to have been from just that day (considering it was only the early afternoon), and various cat figurines. The doctor raised a scrutinizing look to Asuka. "Two Angels, though? They've never attacked simultaneously before. We don't have reason to suspect that they will."
"I'm just trying to be thorough, Doctor," Asuka quickly covered. She was standing in front of the desk, arms folded across her chest, and met Akagi's look with one of her own.
Akagi frowned slightly and returned her attention to Asuka's simulation parameters. "I see," she replied softly. "Well," she said, speaking up, "we're going to be busy effecting repairs on the Evas. This can wait." No, it can't. She closed the notebook, sliding it over the desk back to its owner, and turned to one of the monitors on her desk, fingers already busy on a keyboard. When Asuka did not take the dismissal, obstinately standing her ground, the doctor sighed quietly. "I'm familiar with your training schedule, Pilot. You don't have any simulation time booked in the next few days."
"I've decided to amend the schedule," Asuka said levelly, with some effort on her part. Her hand almost went to her pants pocket, but she stopped herself. Wait for the right time. She'll know it's a bribe anyway, so make it count.
"You were supposed to inform me of any changes," Akagi said shortly.
"I'm informing you now," the pilot replied. Not yet. Her voice contained none of the ire she felt.
Ritsuko stopped typing momentarily to heave an exasperated huff. "So it would seem. But there's no one with the proper Magi access to set this up that also has the time to do it." Her hand slipped into her lab coat, fumbling at an internal pocket, before coming out empty. "You do recall the work that needs to be done on Unit 00?" She then pulled open a desk drawer and searched through it for her prey.
Chance! "Give me the access and I'll do it myself," Asuka said lightly. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a pack of cigarettes, coincidentally the same brand the doctor preferred, and smoothly placed it on the desk. She gave it a gentle tap with one finger for good measure.
Akagi looked between the prize and the pilot, then chuckled with a shake of her head. "You've been spending too much time with Ryoji," she muttered. "All right, fine," she said, snatching up the pack. "I wasn't counting on your contribution today anyway, since Misato informed me you were taking the day off. I'll give you limited access, and you can get this taken care of yourself. You'll want the simulator plugs set up for this evening?"
"Yes, Doctor," Asuka affirmed sweetly, her best smile showing. Too easy. Of course, the Great Asuka Langley Soryu would be an expert in this, as well.
"Fine," Akagi said, lighting her payoff and looking back to her work. Asuka took the cue and left her office. As she was leaving, she heard the doctor's phone ringing and the woman answering it with a "Yes, Commander?" before the door shut behind Asuka and cut off the rest of the conversation.
That was worth the effort. Asuka had forgone sleeping in after her exertion the previous day to track down a cigarette vending machine in the Geofront. She had known that making a last-minute change to her schedule would cause an upset with Doctor Akagi and had figured that a kickback of coffee would not be enough, in that instance, to smooth over any troubles. One act of petty theft later, she had obtained the ammunition necessary to ensure her success.
She did not make it far from the office, mulling over some of the details she would be setting up for her new simulation training, before being interrupted.
"Asuka! I'm glad I ran into you here; I was just on my way to talk to Rits." Misato, dressed in her normal black dress and red jacket, though this time with her red beret cocked at a precarious angle on her head, smiled at the pilot, bringing the younger woman's attention back to her immediate surroundings. She was stopped directly in Asuka's path, forcing her to address the chat. "I've got good news!"
NERV lifted their no-alcohol-on-the-clock policy? "What is it, Misato?" Asuka asked tiredly, not showing the scowl that wanted to naturally form.
Misato's grin widened, and the joyful energy she displayed banished any thought that she had been working well into the night for the past few days. "The Commander approved Ayanami's move!" She struck a small triumphant pose, one hand perched on her canted out hip, the other throwing up a "v" sign, and winked.
"Of course he did," Asuka scoffed, though she did allow herself a victorious grin of her own. "My logic was flawless, after all. Where is she moving in the Geofront?" Oh, no, she thought, as a terrible idea came to her. Don't tell me they moved her right next to me. Working to be more cordial with the other pilot still did not mean she was willing to be that close to her.
"Well," Misato began, and her huge smile shifted into a coy grin as she leaned into Asuka conspiratorially. "She's not moving into the Geofront."
Asuka's smile immediately dropped into a glower. "What do you mean? If she's not moving here, where would she move?" She planted her fists on her hips and stared down Misato, as much as she could with the older woman's height advantage, as if she could enforce her desired outcome through willpower alone.
"She's moving in with me!" Misato crowed. The color drained from Asuka's face. The dread she had felt earlier at the possibility of the First Child accosting her at all hours of the night with inane queries and monotone exchanges was instantly replaced with scenes of the other two pilots lounging in the Katsuragi apartment. Shinji making dinner while Rei watched. Shinji listening to music while Rei sat nearby reading a magazine. Shinji doing homework while Rei helped him understand the material. Shinji reading with his headphones in while Rei was sitting bored at the kitchen table— "Wh-what?" Asuka almost whispered, but her fear was quickly subsumed by anger. "What?!" She exploded.
"She can't live with you!" Asuka yelled, advancing closer to Misato and forcing the other woman to take a step back. "She's supposed to live in the Geofront! And it's always been said that boys and girls shouldn't sleep together after age seven!"
"Well, you didn't have a problem with it a few days ago," Misato muttered, exasperation written on her face.
"That was different!" Asuka insisted. "It was a temporary arrangement to get the First out of that prison cell she was living in. This isn't proper! It's indecent." Asuka crossed her arms over her chest and turned her head to the side, closing her eyes and hmphing.
"That's surprisingly old-fashioned of you, Asuka. And it's a moot point anyway," Misato said, rolling her eyes at the display. "I may have exaggerated a bit. She's moving into an apartment in the same building as me. She's not staying in my spare room."
Relief immediately flooded Asuka. Though, like her reaction to the thought of Rei and Shinji living together, she actively refused to consider the cause. "That still isn't what I planned."
Misato sighed. "I know, Asuka. But plans change. You being here in Japan right now is evidence of that, right?" Before the pilot could offer her opinion on that thought, Misato pushed on. "I took all of your arguments into consideration when I came up with my proposal to the Commander, but you neglected something important, Asuka."
"And what was that?" She growled.
"Ayanami's opinion on the matter. When I got home this morning, after reading your proposal, I found Ayanami still awake. For some reason she was messing with the door to her room, she said something about setting up an alarm. I didn't really get it, and I asked her not to do anything that would make me lose the security deposit. I've got car payments to make, I can't be risking money like that!" Misato chuckled while Asuka continued to sulk.
"Well, anyway, we started talking about how she felt about moving. What she'd said before the activation test earlier, about how she had fun with Shinji, had given me the idea that she would maybe want to stay with us." Asuka attempted to interject but Misato talked over her. "When I offered, she said she would like to. Well, actually, she said 'I believe it might be beneficial,' but that's just her way, I think.
"So, that's what I proposed to the Commander, using your points. Just slightly modified and adding a few of my own. He was against it, for some reason, and—" Misato grimaced. "We eventually compromised, thanks to the Sub Commander. She'll be moving into a unit just a few floors down from mine."
"Fine," Asuka grumbled. This is ridiculous. I should have known Misato would mess this up. "Don't expect me to head out to your place every day to check on her! Even if that building isn't falling apart like her old one was, she still needs someone to make sure she doesn't just turn it into a mess like before!"
"I'll just have Shinji do it," Misato chuckled. "He's a good boy, he'll take care of her. He'll probably be spending a lot of time at her place anyway. Walking to and from school and NERV, making her meals, working on homework together," Misato trailed off with a playful lilt and grinned smugly at Asuka. "They're so cute together, don't you think?"
She glared in return. "You're disgusting, Misato." I can't believe this is happening. NERV leaves me to live alone all my life until some unhinged plan requires me to move in with someone, but at the slightest provocation they move the Commander's Pet in with the Commander's son. "I have something to work on that needs to be finished before tonight's training. I'm leaving." Asuka made to stomp past Misato but was stopped when the older woman gripped her shoulder as she walked by.
"What are you working on?" She asked softly, turning to face her. Her expression was open, holding none of the teasing she was broadcasting just moments ago.
"I'm setting up simulation training. We need to learn how to fight as a team, so I'm having the Magi mock up some battles for us to fight together," Asuka said shortly, refusing to look at the older woman.
"That's great. I'll help you with that, I just need to talk to Rits first. Meet you up on the bridge?" Misato asked with a reassuring smile.
"Whatever," Asuka grumbled, not reassured. This isn't a fridge full of beer, it's not like you'll be of any help getting through it. She made her way down the hall from Misato, who watched her leave before turning back to enter her friend's office.
Ω
"I'm not sure that's the best idea," Misato said with a small frown. She was standing behind Asuka, who was seated at what had become her usual seat in the operations center, leaning over the girl and narrowing her eyes at the screen. Asuka's shoulders were hunched up and had been for quite some time. She suppressed a low growl at the criticism.
"The best way to learn is to do," Asuka bit out instead.
"Sure, but you can take it a bit slower. The three of you have never fought together against one opponent before, let alone two."
I never should have explained how this program works to her. "All the more reason for us to learn as quickly as possible! We don't know what future Angels attacks will be like."
Misato stood up straight and shook her head slightly. "I'm not disagreeing with the intent of your training. Just the tempo." She smiled, which Asuka saw out of the corner of her eye, causing the pilot to scoff. "You didn't toss Shinji into the deep end of the pool for his first swimming lesson, right? It's the same principle here. Wait, you didn't do that, did you?"
"Of course not!" Asuka snapped. "It wasn't the deep end, I wasn't going to kill the Idiot!" The what should have been just a few minutes instructing the Magi on her simulation parameters having turned into a several hour back and forth with Misato had finally broken the last of her patience. "Fine, we'll go with your plan. You do have one, don't you?" She asked with a huff.
"I'm glad you asked," Misato answered, as if her enthusiasm could blot out Asuka's ire. "Just start with a two versus one scenario. Cycle between all three of you working in pairs until you're all comfortable fighting as a team of two. Then you can escalate the simulation to three versus—"
"But that's easier! It's supposed to get more difficult!" Asuka interjected, fingers splayed across the keyboard in front of her and brows drawn down.
"No, it's supposed to build up your coordination," Misato said with a wave of her hand. "As I was saying, once all three of you are comfortable working in pairs, start fighting as a team of three against one Angel. Then you introduce a second opponent." Asuka made to interrupt again, but Misato spoke over her. "We'll have to make this recurring training for you kids, there's no way to squeeze all this into just one hour today."
Asuka seized on the first piece of good news she had heard that day. "I'll schedule some time every day after the regular hour," she said quickly.
Misato chuckled in response. "No, no, that won't do, Asuka. Let's figure out those logistics later, ok? I want to see how the first session goes before I make a decision on that."
You keep hijacking my plans, the least you could do is let me set my own schedule. But I lost the time management argument before even setting foot in the Geofront, when the drunk changed my training plan without even telling me about it first. Just drop it for now, and when she sees how terrible a fight against two Angels will go she'll have to agree with me. "Fine," Asuka said flatly, in what was quickly becoming her most used word of the day.
"Great!" Misato exclaimed. "Go ahead and finish that up, then. Shinji and Rei should be arriving soon. I'll see you later, Asuka." Her work complete, and, as far as a certain pilot was concerned, disaster wrought, Misato turned to leave with a wave and a smile.
Ω
Asuka sat in her simulation plug with a smug expression as she watched the aftermath of her fellow pilot's first mock tandem battle against an Angel.
"Ok, let's try that again," Misato said with a groan, shaking her head and covering her face with her palm. The video feed of the station where Maya was running the simulation from was displayed next to the view of the faux skirmish in front of Asuka, who was disgusted with the poor performance but perversely happy to see the team trip over each other in close quarters combat. "Rei, you're doing well trying to stay out of Shinji's way, but you need to attack with him. Shinji, you're too focused on the enemy. Pay attention to where Rei is, as well, so she isn't doing all the work trying to coordinate her movements with yours."
"Yes," Rei answered immediately.
"Umm, right. Ok," Shinji responded a few beats after.
The digital recreation of Unit 01 held in the grip of the Third Angel, with Unit 00 tangled in its umbilical, dissolved in front of Asuka's eyes. It was replaced by an umarred Tokyo-III, Unit 01 and Unit 00 standing ready to intercept a threat.
Ω
Asuka watched as Shinji brought a pallet rifle to bear against the foe and shook her head as, just half a second later, Rei, jumping forward with a knife at the ready, was between the incoming rounds and their target. Shinji was too slow to notice and continued to fire into the other Eva's back.
"Muzzle awareness, Third!" Asuka snapped. "We've been over this before!" She smiled smugly despite no video feed from her position being available for Shinji to see. "Or perhaps you're tired of living with the First already?" The insincere curiosity dripped from her voice.
"Asuka, that's enough. But she's right, Shinji. And don't just fire an entire magazine like that at one time, your shots will go wild and the dust and debris they kick up will offer concealment to the target."
"Not to mention the destroyed buildings, even homes—maybe you actually want more roommates, just not the First?" The same disingenuous tone she had used earlier once more suffused her voice, which caused Misato to shoot her a disapproving glare.
"Just reset the simulation, Maya," Misato said after shaking her head.
Ω
"He beat this one solo, this shouldn't be so difficult," Misato groaned from around her hands covering her face. It came over a private communication channel to Asuka who was sneering at the Third Angel throwing Unit 01 into Unit 00, causing both Evas to tumble to the ground. "Reset it again, Maya," Misato said as she dropped her hands to her hips and reclaimed her normal supportive demeanor.
Ω
It was well past the hour mark that would denote the usual end of Asuka's planned training periods. Despite Asuka not participating in the training herself yet, she was finding it to be one of the more enjoyable sessions.
"Reset," Misato sighed.
Ω
That looked like it hurt. Come on, I know I trained you better than that.
"Really? Maya—" Asuka watched the simulation reset before Misato could finish her sentence.
Ω
"Again." Misato no longer sounded supportive.
Ω
"That's enough for today," Misato finally conceded.
Asuka extricated herself from the simulation plug and resisted the urge to berate her fellow pilots one last time. You made me look bad, Third, and I didn't even get to fight. This was more of a disaster than I thought it would be.
Once descended from the plug, she left the large hangar-like space before either of her fellow pilots could attempt conversation with her. Her hurried walk to the locker room was interrupted by Misato, waiting just outside her destination.
"I told you this would happen, Misato," Asuka snapped as she attempted to brush past the older woman and into the room to change.
Misato dropped an arm across the door to bar the way. "Let's skip to the part where we agree to fix this, ok?" She said with a shaky smile.
"I already know how to fix this," Asuka grumbled directly into Misato's arm while standing in front of the door. "Someone already decided not to go with my plan."
"Well, someone is saying you were right, and we should probably make this the focus of the Langley Pilot Training Foundation," Misato replied with a roll of her eyes.
"That's not what it's called!" Asuka reached out to push the woman's arm out of her way, but Misato dropped it down to let her hand fall on the girl's shoulder, holding her in place. You're pushing your luck, Misato, Asuka silently fumed, the temptation to engage in some of the close quarters combat she missed out on earlier rising within her.
"Look, I'm still saying that you kids need time away from NERV business, so we can't be doing this all day for every session. But why don't we limit the scope of Eva Academy—"
"It isn't Eva Academy either!"
"—to just this simulation training for the foreseeable future. I'll even agree to letting you take a few extra hours every day—at least until we see some improvements."
"Fine," Asuka bit out. "Five hours, and you let me control the scenarios."
Misato laughed. "I'm not pulling them out of school every day. You get three, and I'll be overseeing the training. That's non-negotiable."
"Aarrggh! Fine!" Asuka yelled, and she attempted to stomp into the locker room. The captain's grip, however, was stronger than she had expected.
"Let Rits know, will you? I'd do it myself, but I've got a conference to get ready for. Some JSSDF contractors think they've managed to build some machine that can beat the Angels. It doesn't even have an AT-Field!" Misato cocked her head slightly. "Say, maybe you should come too. Let those idiots get a first-hand account of what fighting an Angel is like straight from an expert."
Asuka sneered. "Like I care about any of that. Take care of it yourself, Misato. You seem to be doing plenty of that already." She again attempted to make her way past the officer and was again stopped by her grip.
"Do you want to come to my place for dinner tonight, Asuka?" She asked softly, finally letting her hand fall from the girl's shoulder.
"I'm busy," Asuka said curtly. "Someone has to take some responsibility around here." How pathetic. She, at last, stomped her way into the locker room, accompanied by a raised eyebrow and small frown from Misato.
Ω
Asuka stalked down the NERV hallway leading away from Doctor Akagi's office, for the second time that day. After a not-quite-argument over scheduling, for the second time that day. And was interrupted partway down the hallway, for the second time that day.
"Hey, kiddo."
"Kaji!" Asuka immediately spun around and ran towards her guardian, plastering on her best attempt at a genuine smile as she wrapped up one of his arms in her own. Thank god you're here. This day has been a disaster. "Where have you been? I missed you!" She affected a slight pout, trying to make the curve of her lips as seductive as possible.
The man placed his free hand on her head as if to ruffle her hair, but seemed to think better of that notion. "Oh, I've been around. Staying busy. Just like you, from what I hear."
"Busy is one word for it," Asuka mumbled into his shirt as she buried her head into his shoulder. "This day has been awful, Kaji. Take me out to dinner?" She pleaded, ignoring how that so rarely worked. I just want one good thing today.
"Sorry, Asuka, I'm still working on some things tonight. There's a big event coming up that NERV has to look its best for in front of civilians. I'm supposed to make sure we show up the competition. Why don't you have dinner with Shinji, you two have been getting along so well." Kaji began walking down the hall again, Asuka falling into step beside him with his arm still entrapped.
"Hmph," Asuka turned her nose up at his proposal. "You know I'm not interested in spending time with boring little boys like him. You're the man for me, Kaji."
"Oh?" Kaji asked with a grin. "So, it's not Shinji who's caught your eye. Maybe you're more interested in Rei, then?" Asuka's face blanked at the notion, though her brows began to draw down in anger as she slowly released her grip on the man. "It's starting to make sense, now, your insistence on moving her into the Geofront. You wanted her close, right?"
You—how dare you! What are you saying?! I hate that doll! Asuka stopped walking with him, causing Kaji to halt his own forward progress. "And mean-old-Misato just had to go and ruin it, huh? I mean, she told me you were upset with her, but—"
"Shut up!" Asuka roared, stomping her foot down in emphasis. Kaji quickly turned to her in surprise, having not been the target of her anger for quite some time. "You don't have any idea what you're talking about! Who even asked you?!"
"Asuka? Are—"
"No! I don't want to hear it!" Even you're part of this now! Asuka's face twisted into a scowl as she pushed past Kaji to walk back towards her quarters. The man made one more attempt to call out to her, but she ignored him.
Ω
The corridors of NERV that led to her assigned spaces were devoid of people, as if her foul mood preceded her and warned away the other subterranean denizens in advance. Someone, however, had appeared to have missed the caution signs. As Asuka rounded the corner to her door, her angry gaze fell upon the Third Child standing meekly in front of it. What are you doing here. The scowl she had worn since Kaji had angered her deepened as the other pilot's face perked up at her approach.
"Hi, Asuka!" Shinji said to her advancing figure. She offered no hint that she would reply. Instead, she did not even slow down as she approached, making clear her intention to just ignore him.
Seemingly unfazed, Shinji reached into a bag he was holding and pulled out a bento box. Asuka did not make a note that it was the same red one he had prepared for her just a few days ago. Nor did she sneak an inconspicuous peek into the bag to check for a blue one or, god forbid, a purple one. Those actions would have been beneath her. So, you only brought one for me. You must have already left food for your special favorites at home.
"I brought this for you." Shinji held the container out to Asuka, who had finally stopped in front of her door. She turned to face the boy with as neutral an expression as she could manage. "I know the food here isn't very good. And I know you wanted to set up a—some kind of meal plan? Which we haven't had a chance to yet. But I remember you said what I had made was good, and—" Shinji trailed off as Asuka did not respond to his rambling.
"Umm, here," he said instead, jostling the box in her direction slightly in emphasis.
Asuka eyed the offering but made no move to accept it. "You were terrible in training today, Third," she said flatly.
He winced at the criticism, but kept the oblation raised. "I'm—I know. I'll do better next time."
Asuka's eyes flicked between the promise of dinner in his hands and the promise of improvement written over top his determined, still nervous, face. Fine. She grabbed the bento box from his hands. "You'd better." She turned back to her door and slid her ID card through the reader, stepping through the doorway as soon as it was clear. When the door shut behind her, she leaned against it and slid down to sit on the ground with the bento box clutched to her chest. She ignored the heavy feeling in her chest, and the pit in her stomach. Instead, she listened to the sounds of the Third Child's footsteps fade away as he left her door.
Once she was sufficiently alone, she opened the Third Child's dinner and tentatively brought a piece of some cooked vegetable or other to her mouth and closed her eyes, hoping the meal might salvage at least some of the mess her day had been. Those ungrateful leeches will get treated to this every day while I have to live on NERV cafeteria slop. Misato better—no! She slammed the lid back onto the bento after hastily spitting the small bite she had taken back into it as the truth revealed itself to her.
Damn it, Misato! "I'll just have Shinji take care of Rei, he's a good boy!" So, you send him crawling over to me, trying to make peace? It wasn't enough to drag Kaji into your bullshit? Face me yourself, you coward! Asuka stood up, grasping the bento so tightly the box was shaking in her hands. You undermine my authority all day, then top it off by telling the Third Child to look after me. Me! That's my fucking job!
With her back still facing the door, she slammed her elbow into the button to open it. Once it whooshed open behind her, she threw the red bento box over her shoulder as hard as she could, splattering food across the hallway floor before impacting the far wall with a momentarily satisfying crack! When the door closed again, she dropped back to the ground with her head in her hands. The empty feeling brought on by sampling her dinner intensified, but she ignored it. I just want this day to be over. Momma, I miss you.