A/N: I'M OFF SCHOOL YWAWHAAHAHAEAAHAH

I'm gonna try to keep up with updating this fic semi-frequently throughout the summer (which I did not do last year 💀) because I genuinely want to see it finished this year. But I may get a bit busy since I'm looking for a part-time job and also have some stuff planned for Instagram. Also going through a big life change this year so- we'll see how it pans out lol

Art -

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[Ch. 75] Add /2lvv3n3ainr to the DeviantArt Stash URL.

Hitomi wasn't sure she wanted to bother with "avoiding" Bakugou anymore.

In just the past week, her excuses had become weak and lackluster. She wasn't sure it was even worth it at this point, not when she'd been trying for a month and nothing had changed.

All that had come out of it… was embarrassing herself, stressing herself out, and blowing up at him.

She just wanted things to go back to normal. But with the way she'd been acting… she didn't even know if "normal" was something she and Bakugou could do anymore.

…

It was Saturday night, and Hitomi ate her dinner as the other girls conversed around her, their voices filling her ears like white noise. From the bits of conversation she picked up, they were talking about school, Uraraka and Tsuyu's work study, and a new drama Hagakure started watching.

Hitomi only listened quietly, picking at her food absentmindedly. She leaned back in her seat, drinking the last of her miso soup.

…This has gone on long enough already.

I thought this would fix things… but in the end… all that came out of it was being an asshole to him.

She placed the bowl down on her tray with a sigh and glanced over her shoulder, looking back at the table where Bakugou sat with Kirishima and Kaminari. Kaminari was talking avidly as Bakugou rolled his eyes and ignored him, focusing on his food.

I just… want to go back to being friends.

"Hey, Hitomi, Hitomi!"

Hitomi flinched and turned back to the girls, seeing they were all looking at her.

"We're trying to come to a consensus," Mina said sternly, looking completely serious. "And right now we need you to break the tie!"

Hitomi was suddenly bombarded with questions about which male lead she thought was better from Hagakure's drama, with the girls talking over each other trying to sell their argument on which lead they liked more. As they interrogated her over her decision, she was completely unaware Bakugou was staring at the back of her head through his bangs the whole time, a glare on his face.

She was unaware he'd been watching her all throughout dinner, had caught her staring at him with that look in her eyes.

Even when Hitomi finally got up from the table to go to the bathroom (to escape the girls' endless questions), Bakugou still watched her. He only looked away when he saw Iida approach her about the chores for the night.

"Before I forget, Kanetsukabe-kun," the class rep said to her, "you're on dish duty with Bakugou for tonight."

Hitomi's eyes widened. "What? With…" Her eyes trailed back to the blonde and her eyebrows furrowed. "Is it really my turn today…?"

Iida pushed up his glasses with a nod. "That's correct. Make sure the sink is clean of any food when you're done!" He placed a hearty pat on her shoulder, walking away before Hitomi could say anything else.

…

After Hitomi had gone to the bathroom and finished eating, she made her way to the sink, seeing Bakugou already standing there waiting for her. She was one of the last few to finish her food, and now the two of them were alone in the kitchen.

Hitomi set her plate down stiffly on the counter, keeping her eyes glued to the laminate surface. "So, uhh…"

She rubbed the back of her neck, feeling Bakugou's stare. "Well, I was just thinking…" she mumbled, her hand falling to her side, "since Kaminari clogged up the dishwasher last time, how about… you clean them, and I'll rinse and put them away? Since I'm sure you'd rather make sure they're clean yourself…"

She saw Bakugou shrug out of the corner of her eye, hearing him turn the faucet on as he grabbed her plate. "Whatever gets this shit done faster."

…

They spent the next half hour doing the dishes in silence. The only noises were the sounds of Bakugou scrubbing, along with Hitomi rinsing the dishes under the faucet and the clinking of putting them away.

There were hardly any words passed between them. Only some "Could you pass me that" and "Put this there." No conversation. No talking. Nothing.

Hitomi couldn't bring herself to say anything. She didn't know what to do. She could barely even look at him.

She just wished she could act normally around him again, but even right now, with the two of them alone… with no one else to watch, to judge them…. she couldn't do it. She didn't know if she still could.

Especially not when Bakugou didn't seem the same either.

He seemed… different. And maybe that was her fault. Maybe he was still mad at her for yelling at him during the weekend, and hadn't forgiven her. She wouldn't blame him if that was the case.

She just wished things were back to the way they were. She wished she hadn't yelled at him at all, wished she could've acted normally around him from the start, wished she hadn't realized this stupid crush in the first place-

"Oi."

Hitomi blinked, finally being brought out of her thoughts as she felt Bakugou's fist bump her lightly on the top of her head.

Her eyes refocused to see she was holding the plate Bakugou had passed her under the faucet, the water rushing down it and into the drain. She'd been holding it there for a full minute.

"What the hell are you doing?" he huffed, raising a brow. "The plate's already clean. Quit spacing out, you're wasting water."

"Ah-!" Hitomi pulled it away, hastily putting it on the drying rack. "Uh- Just got a bit distracted…" She wore a small frown, shifting slightly. "Sorry."

Bakugou scoffed, holding out a bowl towards her. "You should be paying attention if you wanna get this done quicker."

She glanced at him briefly before her eyes flitted away, grabbing the bowl and rinsing it. "Right…"

They fell back into silence, Hitomi keeping her eyes glued to the sink. She felt tense, her movements robotic as they finished the last of the dishes. She had to hold back the urge to sigh in relief as she placed the last plate on the drying rack.

Finally…

After they dried their hands, the two turned off the lights and walked to the elevators, with Bakugou a few feet behind her as they waited for it to come down to the first floor. Hitomi shifted on her feet anxiously, watching as the light moved down each number. She was unaware of Bakugou staring intently at her, scrutinizing her every little movement. The elevator dinged, the doors opening and the two of them stepping inside.

Hitomi was about to press the button for the fourth floor, before-

"Oi."

Hitomi turned her head to look at Bakugou only to find him walking briskly towards her, causing Hitomi to back away into the wall. She heard the doors close as he punched the wall behind her, effectively caging her into a corner and making her squeak.

Eh?!

Bakugou scowled down at her, making her gulp. His bright red eyes stared down at her, as if trying to pierce straight through her. Hitomi quickly looked away, holding her breath and trying to fight the blush threatening to color her cheeks. She heard Bakugou tch, his voice low.

"…So I really wasn't just seeing things."

Hitomi tried to keep her voice steady. "…What?"

"You can't run away this time, Moon Face. You've been really pissing me off lately, y'know that?!"

She tensed, her hands clenched into fists at her sides. "...What are you talking about?"

She heard Bakugou scoff, feeling his eyes bore into her. "Do you think I'm stupid? That I haven't noticed? I'm not fucking blind to the way you've been looking at me lately," he growled.

Hitomi felt like the air was stolen from her lungs, her heart racing as he continued.

"At first I thought that maybe it was because of that room-sharing bullshit we had to deal with at Ponytail's birthday, but the longer I thought about it the more I realized that fucking grape shit might be right."

"Bakugou- what do you mean-?"

"What do I mean? You think I haven't noticed how you've been avoiding me, huh?!"

Oh… shit.

So many thoughts ran through Hitomi's mind at Bakugou's words, but they all led back to one thing.

Has he… figured out how I feel?!

Hitomi leaned back, trying to push herself further into the wall. Her heartbeat was quickening, beating so loud she could hear the pounding in her ears. Bakugou let out another scoff, his glare hardening.

"There it fucking is again, that stupid shit you've been pulling!"

Hitomi was nervous of where this was going. "...Huh?"

"Do you think I haven't noticed how you're always acting around me?!" Bakugou snarled, leaning closer and sounding angrier with each word. "How you're always acting like you don't wanna be near me, as if you can't stand to look at me? As if the sight of me disgusts you? Do you suddenly think you're better than me just because you got your license and I didn't, and now you don't even believe I deserve to be in the same room as you, is that it?!"

The erratic thoughts rushing through Hitomi's mind all halted, her mouth opening in shock.

Bakugou's fingers dug into the wall, smoke beginning to rise from his palm. "Do you get some kind of kick from stringing me along, pretending to be my friend? To lie so blatantly to my face?! Is that it? Do you secretly laugh at me behind my back for believing you? Are you trying to make a fool out of me?" Small crackles now sounded from his hand. "Or did you finally get tired of acting two-faced? Is that why you suddenly seem like you want to get as far away as possible every time I'm near you? It's a fucking pain in the ass!"

Some small, fleeting part of her hoped that Bakugou had realized her feelings and was finally confronting her about it. Some small part of her hoped this was her chance to finally let her feelings known, accept the rejection, and move on.

But Bakugou had horribly, horribly misunderstood her.

And all… this seemed to be… was self-doubt. Insecurity.

A feeling that Hitomi was very well acquainted with and could recognize in an instant.

Considering the spiel Bakugou had just spat out… it was obvious how he'd been interpreting her recent behavior. And that behavior… the way she'd been acting towards him… seemed to be the reason why he was feeling upset now.

He thought she'd been stringing him along… and was angry with himself for thinking otherwise.

Bakugou thought she'd been lying to him, that she felt disdain at being around him. He thought she was looking down at him, that in reality she saw herself as above him, and now, it seemed he was angry at himself for getting strung along. Hitomi could tell… that Bakugou believed he was a fool for letting himself fall for a friendship he now thought was a lie.

And it made her feel awful.

She shouldn't have been treating him the way she did.

For the first time in a while, she looked him directly in the eye. Willingly. Purposefully.

"Bakugou… do you really believe that's what I think of you?"

Hitomi saw Bakugou's eyes narrow at her hurt tone, making her decide she needed to really let him know what she thought of him.

"I… I could never, ever think of you that way," she said slowly, her eyebrows furrowing. "You're a strong, resilient, amazing person, and… you're someone I admire."

"Stop lying to me," Bakugou growled. "I've had enough of it already."

"I mean it," Hitomi pushed, determined. At the very least, she had to make him understand this. "You are someone I strive to be like, and I could never even consider looking down on you."

She held his own fiery gaze, fighting against the urge to look away. Now wasn't the time to be a coward, not when she had to make him understand how much she really looked up to him, how much she cared about him.

"Well, that sure as hell doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me," Bakugou shot back.

Hitomi gulped, faced with the choice.

She could tell him right here, right now, how she felt about him. Or she could lie through her teeth with an excuse.

Make your choice.

"I…"

She didn't want to lie to him. Not when he thought that's what she'd been doing this whole time. She couldn't do that to him now.

Hitomi took a deep breath. "I… I can't tell you."

But she wasn't ready to tell him the truth. Not like this.

Bakugou scowled, obviously dissatisfied with her answer. "And why the fuck is that, huh?! Don't want to come clean about the lies you've been feeding me for months?"

"What lies do you think I've been telling you?" Hitomi said, her own voice rising slightly. "That we're friends…?" She frowned, biting her lip. "Because that… is nothing but the truth. I thought… I thought that we were friends. That's all I ever wanted us to be."

Bakugou's eyes only narrowed.

"If I've seemed different lately…" Hitomi said slowly, "it's because I've- I've had things I've got going on. Things that… I'm not ready to tell you."

She couldn't do it now. She just couldn't. This was the worst way she wanted him to find out.

So she held it back.

"I know it's a lot to ask," she continued, feeling her voice grow unsteady, "but… can you trust me on this? Please?"

Bakugou stared at her for a few moments, the hard glare still on his face. The seconds that passed by seemed to last a lifetime until he finally let out a sharp exhale, his head falling forward.

He tched, standing there for a few more seconds with Hitomi caged by his arm until he slowly took his hand off the wall. She watched as he stepped back, his bangs covering his eyes.

"Huh. You ask me to trust you…" He laughed bitterly, turning away and pressing the button. "…but it seems like you don't even want to trust me. Some 'friends' we are."

Hitomi's bit her lip as the elevator finally moved, beginning to take them up to their floor. She could feel her heart beating rapidly in her chest, her hands clenching the sides of her shorts tightly and wrinkling the fabric.

He still thinks I'm looking down on him.

The elevator dinged, the door opening and the two of them stepping out.

He's angry with himself… doubting himself… because of me.

Regret.

Hitomi was filled with regret.

She should never have yelled at him that day. She should never have acted so distant to him. Bakugou was her friend.

And yet she had treated him so awfully. Acting as if she couldn't bear the sight of him.

Really, it was laughable. This, all of this, was Hitomi's own fault.

And she was paying for her mistakes now. She had to do something, anything, to make up for it.

To try and salvage whatever friendship they had left. If any, at all.

And if not, then at the very least… To make sure Bakugou wasn't hurt by her anymore.

Before they split off to go to their rooms, she grabbed Bakugou's hand, stopping him in his tracks.

"Bakugou…!"

"What now?" he growled, his voice low.

Hitomi's fingers tightened around his hand as she stared at it, biting her lip. She took a deep breath, speaking slowly. "I… really meant what I said," she told him, tracing her thumbs over his knuckles. "Everything. About how I think you're amazing, and that I admire you. I would never want to string you along, or- or laugh at you behind your back. I could never even imagine treating you that way."

Hitomi gathered the courage to look up at him, staring straight into his sharp eyes. "Please… don't ever take yourself for a fool. I wouldn't think that of you, and I don't want you to think that about yourself either. I never wanted our friendship to be a lie… and if I'm the one that made you think that it was, then… I'm sorry. That's my fault. Not yours."

Her eyebrows furrowed, her grip tightening on his hand even more. "Nothing was ever your fault. Bakugou… I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I made you think I was looking down on you, or couldn't stand you. That couldn't be further from the truth. Just know that I…"

That I…

That she… what?

Hitomi looked back down at their hands, her eyes squeezing shut. "...that I care about you a lot, okay? And I do trust you. If I ever get the courage to tell you… I'll tell you everything."

She bit her lip. "Because you're… someone important to me. So please… don't think less of yourself because of this. I don't want to see you treating yourself that way."

Hitomi trailed off, the two of them standing in silence. After a few seconds, Bakugou pulled his hand out of her grasp, curling his fingers into a fist.

Nothing.

He said… nothing.

One glance at his face and… Hitomi couldn't tell what he was thinking. She didn't know if he believed her, didn't know if he'd trust her. All she could do was hope that he would.

Finally, he shoved his hands into his pockets, turning away. "I'm going to bed."

And Hitomi was left staring at his back in disbelief, watching as he entered his room.

Once the door had closed, she turned away, her slippers pattering across the floor. As she made her way back to her room, it felt like she was in a daze, her mind hazy. She stepped through the door, closing it behind her quietly. After a few moments, she slid down to the floor, holding her hand against her chest. Her heart was beating so fast she could feel it.

Just… what… was she about to say?

The dreaded L-word?

Saying that to someone in a non-familial or non-platonic sense wasn't something to be taken lightly. Especially when that feeling wasn't reciprocated.

If this had really been a silly, little, insignificant crush, would she really have said that if she hadn't caught herself?

…That she loved him?

Hitomi bit her lip, the air getting hotter around her.

Something told her this wasn't just a simple little crush anymore.

A/N: The little doubts in Bakugou's head have finally built up to the point he can't let it go anymore. The interpretation I've always had of him was that he had a massive superiority complex that started to mask a severe inferiority complex when he got into UA, and that plays a part in this whole chapter. Prior to UA, Bakugou never seemed to have friends who he saw as genuine equals (only followers/yes-men), so to be confronted with the idea that someone he considered a real friend didn't see him the same way (even if that idea wasn't true) sent him spiraling into his inferiority complex and he lashed out.

At least, that was what I was trying to convey :,D

this whole chapter was so difficult for me to rewrite. Trust me. The original draft from 2019 had a lot of issues. Good lord.