Private Life
by Castlefan6
Authors Note AU: Beckett and Castle have reached their first If Only moment, a pivotal point that forces Rick to leave the precinct. Brace yourself as the episodes Cops and Robbers and To Live and Die in LA have been rearranged to suit this Timeline; please go with it.
I am taking a Literary License to fill in the blanks.
I don't own Castle; I only use the characters for amusement, except the ones I create.
This is COMPLETELY AU and May or May Not Wind Up with a Caskett Ending.
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A/N: This chapter contains some injuries and catastrophic events. If that is a trigger, please proceed with caution.
Chapter 14
Presbyterian Hospital
VIP Suites, 15th Floor
Three Days Later
Kate had virtually lived at the hospital, sleeping what little time she did in the visitor's quarters. Rick had thought of everything: showers, makeup, mirrors, and all of the necessities of home. She had been chastised for not eating more than once until the head nurse started ordering her a meal tray to eat when they fed those in more stable conditions.
This food didn't taste like the garbage she had grown accustomed to eating during her stays in hospitals. Rick had it catered by over fifty restaurants. He had moved and showed signs of waking up earlier today; the meds were still being administered in heavy doses for not only pain but also the risk of infection.
She had held his hand when he seemed to be having a bad dream last night; it seemed to calm him, at least until the nurses put more medication directly into his IV, and he calmed and returned to a deep sleep. She knew he was Maddie's love, but what kind of friend would she be if she hadn't tried to take away his pain?
Maddison was still in the coma; her brainwaves continued to be monitored, and the doctors kept assuring her that these types of injuries took time and that the body would allow her to wake when it had healed sufficiently. So far, there was regular brain activity when they tried to stimulate her with touch and word therapies, an excellent sign for a positive outcome, as one doctor put it.
She had met with Roy and gotten clarification, well, as much as she was going to receive about the Fifth Doctor, AKA Jackson, Maddie's old boss. She was still in shock about the revelation of Maddie's actual occupation and Rick's involvement with the operation, so it was no wonder they were both so secretive about their private lives.
Jackson had gotten intel about a U.S. Senator from New York who was using a bank storage box to store records of some of his illegal activities, including tape recordings, pictures, and a ledger of money that had started his career some years ago.
He had intercepted the news from a cop who had outlived his use and was trying to trade the information for a pardon for some crimes. The mercenaries' job was to make the bank job look like a robbery but to grab the senator's files and ensure they were destroyed.
There could not be any trail back to the senator, regardless of the collateral damage required to safeguard his secret. Jackson's role was to secure the contents of the safe deposit box. He knew the only way he would survive the mission was if he had devised a plan to kill the other robbers. His mission was to retrieve the documents, regardless of cost. He knew Maddison and Richard would understand.
"You mean to tell me, Roy, he would have let both Rick and Maddie die in that explosion? My God, that's his flesh and blood," Kate asked, tears and hatred in her voice for the cold-hearted bastard she had never met.
"Kate, all I can tell you is that people are defending our country against enemies, both foreign and domestic, and are willing to pay any price to keep that freedom. I know you don't understand. I don't know that Maddison or even Rick will, but Jackson did what his assignment called for him to do," Roy said calmly,
"Yeah, and probably walk away and spend some time in a foreign port of comfort while Rick and Maddie are fighting for their lives," Kate said, not trying to hide her hatred for the man.
"Kate, again, you didn't hear this from me. After the explosion, Jackson called someone from a safe house, and they found him in the back alley, about the same shape as Rick and Maddison. They got him medical attention just in time, and I got my intel from his hospital room in an undisclosed location and on a highly secure telephone line." Roy said,
"Still, Roy, blowing up a bank knowing your son and his fiancé could be killed, that's heartless. I don't care how patriotic he thinks it is. Blood is thicker than water and a hell of a lot more important than some vow you made when you joined a spy organization." She said, tears falling from her eyes,
Roy stayed silent and just pushed a tissue box her way. After she had regained her composure, she filled him in about Rick and Maddie's conditions. The doctors were hopeful that Rick would be awake when she got back, and Maddison, well, they kept saying there was no rush; the brain was healing. The signs from the EEG still looked as normal as they could be based on the injuries she had suffered.
"Speaking of getting back, who do you have on duty covering for you at the hospital?" Roy asked,
"LT and Detective Harrah are there; I told them I would be back as soon as I could. I have to stop at home, change out some clothes, and then get back there." Kate said, "I better get back. I didn't realize I had been gone so long," She said as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door,
"Kate, you know you have friends who will sit in for you if you need some time away, don't you?" Roy peered over his glasses,
"Yes, Sir, it's not necessary, Sir. I got this," she said as she bolted to the elevator before there could be any more questions. She knew she was on the verge of tears the entire last hour. Why? Was it for her, for Maddy, or for Rick to have a father so callous?
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Two Hours Later
Kate stopped at Remy's and picked her up her to-go order on the way back to the hospital. The catered meals furnished by the hospital were great, but she had grown tired of even excellent restaurant food and had a taste for Remy's. LT had just briefed her on Rick's condition; there were no changes and no one attempting to visit, so she relieved them, and they went on their way
Just as she opened the bag and took a sip of her shake, she heard a voice,
"OK, if that is a Remmy's Cheeseburger, you better be prepared to share," in a gravely rough voice, but it was Ricks; she would know it anywhere,
"Rick, you're awake, Thank God!" she exclaimed and had kissed him on the forehead before she realized what she had done.
"Yeah, I'm awake, Beckett?" Is that You? What are you doing here? Where is Maddie?" he asked, almost going into a panic attack.
Kate had buzzed the nurse who had heard the last exchange and paged the doctors.
"What's the last thing you remember, Mr. Castle? I'm Dr. Duhigg, one of the physicians who attended to you when you first arrived." The doctor explained softly,
"Where am I?" Rick became more aware of his surroundings. His thoughts began to clear, and It did make more sense that he was in the hospital than Kate Beckett being in the bedroom with him and Maddie; that would never happen.
"Presbyterian Hospital, Mr. Castle, so is your fiancé; she is right through those glass doors. Again, do you have any idea of the last thing that occurred or how long you have been here?" The doctor gently prodded,
"We were at the bank, New Amsterdam on Lex and 56th; it was robbed by some, yeah there were four men and one woman, all dressed in different surgical scrubs, calling each other TV Doctor names. They weren't there for the money; hell, they left the vault to look in all of the Safe Deposit Boxes, so something was off." He stared at the glass door separating him and Maddie.
"Rick, do you remember anything more, I'll see if the doctor will open the blinds to Maddie's room. I know you don't know how you look, but remember she was in the same robbery as you, so don't get upset, she's just asleep." Kate said, trying to calm him down,
Dr. Duhigg stepped outside, and a few moments later, the blinds were pulled back so Rick could see the form in the bed. She was still hooked to all kinds of machinery; he expected that, but when his eyes saw the machine breathing for her, he broke down.
Kate was on his bed, comforting him. "Shh, Rick, she's doing good. In fact, she has one big bump on her head. Other than that, she wasn't as hurt as you were. They said you used your body to shield her and a few lady bank tellers from the brunt of the blast." Kate said softly as she whispered in his ear, not sure if he could hear from the blast or if his ears were still ringing as the doctors had warned.
"I promise you, Rick, I'm not lying; when you were brought in, the doctors lost you on the operating room table twice. You had lost so much blood they were afraid all of your organs were going to shut down. The wounds that Maddie received, well, other than the bump on the head was from the shrapnel still in your body, it pierced you and then hit an artery in her.
"Can you tell me what the robbers did next? I mean if you're up to it." She said gently, still holding him in a gentle hug, as he stared at the form lying in the bed in the next room.
"Espo and Ryan did first aid and CPR on you both and slowed the bleeding. It seemed like forever to get you into the hospital, but I guess it was less than five minutes. "She said softly,
"You were with us, I mean Maddie, or me?" He asked,
"I rode with Maddie, Espo, and Ryan, had their hands in your wounds, and wouldn't leave you until the ER docs chased them out. Things are fuzzy for us investigating; one moment, the SWAT team is on the phone, then," her voice stopped,
"Then they blew the bank up, almost killing a few of us hostages. We were lucky that one doctor, or crook, was the one who didn't say much, but he insisted they put us in the vault. That's what saved our lives. I know there were FIVE doctors inside the bank. What happened to them?
"Why were you, Espo, and Ryan down there anyway?" Rick asked, it finally dawning on him that she was homicide, not robbery." He asked, looking her in the eyes for the first time since she had been there,
"You called Roy, and well, he told me some things that he shouldn't, but he wanted to be sure I was here for you, for Maddie, to do anything we could. When you're up to talking, Rick, I'll be right here," she said as she slid over to the chair that must have imprints of her ass by now.
"How long have you been here, Kate?" he asked sincerely,
"Since it happened, I wasn't going to leave my best friend and my partner. I hurt so badly to face this alone." She said as Dr. Duhigg stood quietly, just listening,
"You've been here for Three whole days, Kate?" He asked, running his one good hand through his hair, which wasn't as messy as he must have thought. He looked at her with a look that Kate tried to distinguish in its meaning.
"Well, I did sleep in the visitor's quarters that you have provided, and I never knew that hospital food came catered from the best restaurants in New York.
"Still, you have a life; I mean, you have someone in your life; why would you put yourself out like this?" Rick asked, still confused.
"First, there is no one in my life; there hasn't been in several years. I know what you thought. Please let me get through with this, and then I'll answer any questions." She dabbed at her eyes,
"Maddie is my best friend, a friend that knows far more about me than anyone else in the world. You see, we share one thing in common: we both are in love with the same man, but I won't hurt her for anything. I see the look on your face. Yes, Rick, I'm in love with you, and yes, Maddie and I have talked about it.
"She understands why you want nothing to do with me, the lies, the cheap shots, and then the high school tricks trying to make you jealous by parading men around in front of you. When I came to California, well when you saved me from tanking what career I had left. As you were solving Mike Royce's murder, Maddie and I talked all night.
She dared to take a look at Rick, who was blushing and looking nervously toward the sliding door to Maddie's room. "Rick, I promise you that I wasn't ever going to say anything or tell you about my feelings, even though Maddie said you knew already. I would never hurt Maddie, she's like a sister to me, and well, I just wanted to be here when she couldn't if you need me.
"Look, I asked the nurses to move your bed to lie parallel to Maddie's, so you will be as close as you can be. She might sense your love and help her wake up. The doctors did tell me to be patient and that all of the tests show normal brainwave activity, but they aren't sure of anything until she is awake, and they can run more tests." Kate said,
"Kate, I don't know what to say. I mean, How? When did this all start? Hell, I thought you hated my guts. After the first two cases we worked on, I was convinced of it." He said, looking anywhere but at her,
"You mean when I pulled Sorenson out of the woodwork, then acted like Atilla The Hun when you went out of your way to help?" She asked, "Look, I know you hate me, and I understand why; I just needed you to know that I'm sorrier than could ever put into words. This doesn't change anything; I'll be here, Rick, for you, for Maddie, for you both as long as you need me." She said, tears pooling in her eyes.
"I'm going to check on the nurse to see what's keeping them from moving Maddie's bed parallel to yours. Do you need anything other than for me to go to hell and leave you two alone?" She asked,
She realized she was still holding his good hand. She quickly put it down and said softly, "I'm sorry, Rick, I mean,"
"Kate, we're adults; I don't hate you; I never could hate you. I know you love Maddie; she's talked to me over and over about giving you another chance. She's big on forgiveness if you didn't know that about her.
"It's just confusing, and I feel torn. I mean, I know, you know, and the world knows, I haven't, we haven't done anything, but I still feel like I've been unfaithful to her. She's lying there helpless, and I feel like"
"Rick, you didn't do anything, you don't have to do anything. You didn't, nor would you ever cheat on Maddie these arene you love, so please, this is my stupid feelings. I'm sorry, maybe I should have just kept my mouth shut, I mean. I told Maddie it was one of the hardest things I ever had to do, but she knew it already." She said,
"She did, she never said a word other than to forgive you and be friends, I mean, God, this is confusing," he held his head,
"Rick, I'll be back. I'm going to give you some time to sort things out, and I'll be right down the hall, for what it's worth, I'm sorry to throw this on top of everything else you have on your plate. I'm serious, I would NEVER do anything to hurt Maddie or you, I promise you that. I've been a lot of things, but a cheating fool is not one of them."
She stepped out, a nurse came in, and Rick watched as Maddie's bed moved to lie directly next to his, separated by the glass door. He hung his head and wept, seeing all of the wires and that damn breathing machine going up and down.
Kate retreated to the visitor quarters, where she wept harder than at any time since her mother was taken from her. She hadn't intended to tell Rick her honest feelings, but somehow, the truth just seemed to flow out.
She still had to update him about Jackson and his role in the robbery, AKA bomb blast, but now wasn't the time for any more facts to be thrown at him. She curled up on the bed, hugged the pillow, and cried until she was cried out.
She snuck a peek into Rick's room, he seemed to be asleep, facing Maddie's room. All of his machines were doing their thing without sounding alarms, so she decided to give him some space and returned to the visitor quarter. God, she had really fucked this up; Maddie was going to kill her if she opened her eyes; she had to wake up; she just had to.
TBC