Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.

Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. Feel free to back out if need be.

Author's Note: This is based on a true story that actually happened.

Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Hogwarts (Term 13); MC4A
Individual Challenges: Shadow HP Bribery; Gryffindor MC (x3); Ravenclaw MC; Slytherin MC; Hold the Mayo; Rian-Russo Inversion (x3); Ethnic & Present (x3); Zed Era; Old Shoes (Y); In a Flash; Bucket Listing (Y); Green Ribbon
House: Slytherin
Assignment No.: Term 13 – Assignment 04
Subject (Task No.): n/a
Other Hogwarts Challenges: Insane Prompt Challenge [553](Sushi); 365 [216](Nerve); Auction [30-3](D&D AU)
Other MC4A Challenges: Hunt [Su Con](Sushi); Chim [Deke](Royal Purple; Laughing); Ship (Heroic Shadow)[n/a](n/a); Fire [Med](The Good Ship); Garden [Plant Food](Grains)
Representation(s): Desi Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini; Black Hermione Granger; Luna Lovegood;
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Muck & Slime; Abandoned Ship; Second Verse (Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Found Family; Nontraditional; Zucchini Bread; Unwanted Advice; For the Vine; Lovely Coconuts); Chorus (Odd Feathers; Machismo; Peddling Pots; Tomorrow's Shade; Larger than Life; Unicorn)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: SN (Rail); FR (Satisfaction); O3 (Oath); TY (Ntaiv)
Word Count: 479

(^^)
Do Not Coddle
(^^)

"Fuck, but I wish I knew what this sword did," Ron announced as everyone was rolling for initiative.

Harry paused in the process of raising a piece of sushi to his mouth. He had already rolled what dice he needed to behind his royal purple DM screen and had hopped on the chance to grab a bit of his dinner. Now, though, he had a bit of a dilemma.

Blaise and Luna were both already done with their calculations, of course. Their habit of keeping their list of conditional modifiers up to date helping speed things along as always. Hermione was on her standard triple check. Only Ron was busy grumbling as he rolled the necessary die.

That was another problem altogether however.

"Do you," Harry started as he carefully sat the sushi back down on his plate. "Do you say that in character?"

Seated right next to Harry, Blaise froze. His purple eyes went wide as the implication of the question hit him. Harry felt a hand on his knee and knew what Blaise was trying to remind him. Harry covered the hand with his own and gave it a light squeeze to show that he did remember Gary Gygax's number one rule for times like this.

"What?" Ron asked, looking up from his calculation. He looked confused. "Sure. I say that in character."

"Phrased just like that?" Harry asked, giving Ron another chance to back out of the corner he had painted himself into. Hermione and Luna exchanged looks from opposite sides of the table. Harry could tell the moment that both of them cottoned onto what was happening. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, whatever," Ron agreed. The redhead shrugged and shoved a chip into his mouth. He wiped his fingers on a paper napkin he kept at hand just for that. He even swallowed before he continued. "Do you need me to be specific? Okay, I say in character, I wish that I knew what this sword did."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked one last time. Ron gave a toothy grin. Around the table, the other players were holding their breaths. Hermione had even raised her hands to cover her mouth.

"Yeah," Ron agreed. His grin only grew as if he didn't notice the tension around him. "It's something good, isn't it?"

"You could say that," Harry answered. He took a deep breath. "It's a plus-one masterwork long sword and…" Harry paused to gather his nerve. Do not coddle stupid or arrogant players. "And it used to have a Wish."

"Oh, my fucking god," Hermione said, drawing everyone's gazes to her with the uncharacteristic cussing. Her normally dark face was ashen. "You just did that. You seriously just did that."

"I did," Harry confirmed. The piece of sushi that he popped into his mouth afterwards tasted like victory. Around the table, everyone was laughing, mostly in hysteria.