Legal Disclaimer: I own my stuff, but not the original source material. That belongs to whoever. Also, the opinions and interpretations I use here may not reflect the same in said whoever that owns the source material. Look, I'm just a poor college librarian. Suing me isn't going to get you anything but tears.
Warning: This work may be offensive to some readers. There are also references to canon child abuse and lingering issues from the resulting trauma. Oh, and however you want to take the canon-typical harassment from the wizarding world towards Harry. Feel free to back out if need be.
Author's Note: I am so soft for these two.
Submitting Info:
Stacked with: Quidditch League (Season 10); Ministry (Spring Year 1); RAVEN (2023); MC4A (Sp Y6)
Individual Challenges: Quaffles (Y); Heroic Shadow (Y); Colors of the Sky; Gryffindor MC; Ravenclaw MC; Slytherin MC; Sandbox (Y); Reader (Y); Cinematic (Y); Gamer (Y); Dreamers (Y) (x3); Ethnic & Present; Neurodivergent; Rian-Russo Inversion; Short Jog; Bucket Listing (Y); Eating Cake (Y); Exchange (Y); Greatest Gift (Y); Two Cakes (Y); Fuzzy Socks; Bi Bi Bi; Ship Sails; Zukes of Hazard; Bedtime; Feeding; Zed Era; Rainbow Connection; Finders; Hold the Mayo
Team (Position): Wigtown Wanderers (Seeker)
Round (Prompt): Round 10-05 (Slytherin; Romance)
Ministry Challenges: International Magical Office of Law [Tier 1] (Next-Gen Era)
RAVEN Challenges: Settings [102](Office); Items [39](Desk); Colors [07](Baby Blue)
Other MC4A Challenges: SpB [5D](Warmth); TrB [3A](Hope is Scary); Ship (Heroic Shadow)[SpMed2 (Cooking Together; Cuddling/Snuggling; Hand Feeding; Hugging; Literal Sleeping Together); 4B (Epiphany)]; Chim [Sumac]("God Help the Outcasts" – Hunchback of Notre; Turned Left Instead AU; Race Bend); Hunt [Sp Con (Hot Chocolate; Risotto; Salad)]
Representation(s): Desi Harry Potter/Blaise Zabini; Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter QPR; Found Family; Chim Song Prompt
Primary & Secondary Bonus Challenges: Ladylike; Not a Lamp; Persistence Still; Odd Feathers; Pocky Pockets; Wabi Sabi; Demo 1 (Found Family; Spinning Plates; Unwanted Advice; Lock & Key; Lovely Coconuts); Demo 2 (Fizzy Lemonade; Unicorn; Machismo; Tomorrow's Shade)
Tertiary & Generic Bonus Challenges: Once (Moses Supposes); T3 (Toad)
Word Count: 2283 words
(^^)
Confidence to Cling
(^^)
It does not take a long time living with Harry Potter to realize he was not a confident person. In fact, it takes next to no time at all if someone was privileged enough to have seen how he was once out of the public eye. Pretty much as soon as he was behind a closed door, he would shrink almost, hunching his shoulders and ducking his head to make himself appear smaller than his already small frame. The inside of his bottom lip would dip as he began to worry it between his teeth.
Of course, Harry had learned how to fake confidence over the years. He had had to fake confidence in order to deal with the truth about his heritage and how it connected him to the man who had killed his parents. There were still members of the public who called the entirety of the war nothing more than a blood feud between heirs to the same Founder's House. And because that House was Slytherin, both sides were tarnished. The way that the Potter connection to the Slytherin family had come into public knowledge left its own mark, too. Rita Skeeter had made a huge deal of it while covering the tournament. Then after Voldemort's resurrection, the connection was used as just another example of how Harry could not be trusted, how he was clearly rotten to the core.
All in all, it had caused Harry to focus a lot of his energy on pretending that he was perfectly fine even if he was barely keeping it together. He could be sick enough that his normal sienna skin was faded to a sickly brownish-ash and wet with fever sweat, and his green eyes were hazy with exhaustion, and Harry would still swear that he was well enough to get by. Harry often acted as if he still had to prove that he wasn't like Voldemort or the much-maligned Salazar Slytherin (because the actual history turned out to be much different than what the more modern editions of Hogwarts, A History claimed it to be).
At the end of the day, Harry Potter wasn't a confident person, and that was just a fact.
It does take a considerably longer time living with Harry Potter to realize that he is severely compromised in the intimacy department. In fact, it takes almost six and a half months of living together as a couple after a full year of being partnered together in the Department of Mysteries for Blaise to realize this. He could blame it on his collective lack of experience when it came to interacting with people who did not have several plots and schemes going at any given time, but considering how much he knew Harry Potter (and boy, did Blaise know Harry Potter, between Draco Malfoy's endless rants during their Hogwarts years and needing to work so closely with him), it was more likely he had just been ignoring it.
And Blaise wanted to hex himself when he acknowledged that the only reason he noticed was because he was jealous.
Because it was another simple fact that Harry did not touch people a lot. Or rather, Blaise realized once he started paying attention, Harry did not initiate touches. He would always accept whatever physical affection the people around him gave. He was never the first one to pull away when embraced.
Harry would stand very still whenever his personal bubble was breached, as if he was trying to stop himself from leaning closer. Blaise was not too proud to admit that he had taken advantage of that uncertainty in order to get closer to Harry. Because what had started as a mere curiosity was quickly becoming a desire to be the center of the small man's attention.
And Blaise found himself intensely jealous when someone else was enjoying it.
It started, surprisingly enough, not with the other two members of the so-called Golden Trio or Harry's ex-girlfriend, but with Luna Lovegood. The blonde would sweep into the country like a whirlwind. Because of the nature of her research combined with her esoteric understanding of obscured knowledge, she had the same clearance level as anyone assigned to the Department of Mysteries. She took advantage of that clearance to shadow Harry at work. The entire time, she would be touching Harry, leaning into his space—even going as far as sitting behind him in his desk chair with Harry tucked between her legs.
And that was just at work.
They were even worse in the privacy of the flat. They would cuddle up on the couch as they watched animated movies with Luna occasionally handfeeding Harry bits from the large bowl of fruit salad they always made for the occasion. They would dance around the kitchen as they made risotto, gently touching each other as if just to reassure the other that they were still there, still existing in the same space. It wasn't uncommon for them to fall asleep together on the floor in front of the couch, curled up like nesting dragons on a pile of baby blue cushions that seem to only ever appear when Luna was visiting.
And when it was time for Luna to leave again, they both lingered on the farewell hug. Harry always held on as long as she would allow it. He would always look so devastated when she finally made it out the door. It made Blaise ache for Harry's obvious loss, temporary as it was.
It also made Blaise seethe with jealousy. He knew that it was stupid to be jealous. He doesn't have any actual claim on the man. Not to mention that it wasn't uncommon for Tracey and Daphne to pull him into a similar embrace. It was just a part of being close friends with someone.
Then Blaise started to notice more. He noticed the way sometimes Harry would let himself be body-checked into the couch by Tracey, falling into a tangled heap that Daphne or Blaise would eventually cover with a blanket. No matter what Harry had been doing before that, he melted beneath her as if he had been worried that he would float away but with her weight on top of him, he could finally relax. Just like he did when it was Luna, Harry curled up with Tracey, practically purring like cats or dragons. Harry would cling to Tracey in a way that he never did to Blaise, unless they had just finished something sexual or were just waking up in the morning.
Blaise noticed the way Neville would casually touch Harry, just a brush of their hands or walking with their elbows linked together. He noticed how when Neville and Harry were sitting and laughing, their knees would be pressed together. Neville would always tuck Harry against his side with an arm around his slim shoulders.
He noticed how Harry went all gooey whenever Hermione would always run an endearing hand through Harry's curls, scratching at his scalp in between sips of the hot chocolate that she had helped Harry make before they had settled into whichever spot they had claimed for the cuddle session. Sometimes, when she visited for an evening, they curl up on the couch or bed, just like Harry did with Luna, and they would watch baking challenge shows together. And all the while, Hermione would be petting Harry. Beneath the touch, Harry would relax like a pleased kitten.
And then, Blaise noticed more. He noticed things he should've noticed before. They were boyfriends, for Magic's sake! He finally saw the way Harry's face lit up when Daphne clapped him on the shoulder or pulled him into a brotherly hug. He really saw how Harry lingered in the touches—how Tracey or Neville would grab his hand whenever they got stopped on the street by people wanting to scold him for not becoming an Auror like everyone had expected (never mind that he had had no choice in being assigned to the Department of Mysteries) or scream at him for what Voldemort had done in the name of their mutual relative, and Harry's back would instantly straighten as if he gained strength from the touch and support. Afterwards, Harry would only let go when they pulled away.
Blaise finally saw how Harry would sometimes stare at Blaise's hands or watch him sitting on the couch, and he made no effort to bring their bodies closer together. He saw Harry's fallen face when Blaise inevitably climbed out of bed in the morning, severing the contact they had enjoyed during the night. And Blaise saw how Harry has never been the one to initiate kisses—only to finish them.
And by all that Mother Magic had blessed, doesn't all that make him feel like an ass?
"Harry," Blaise said one day as he was watching the telly. He kept his tone as casual as possible, as if he just had an absent thought and nothing more. "Come here."
Harry made a questioning noise but didn't hesitate to set down his tablet before moving from the kitchen table over to the couch. Blaise grabbed his wrist (still knobby from so many years of missed meals, despite how well fed he now was). With gentle but insistent force, Blaise pulled Harry down into his lap. Harry made a soft sound, almost like a whimper, but he melted into the embrace just as he did with everyone else. As if he was a puppet with his strings cut, Harry relaxed completely. His cheek pressed into Blaise's shoulder as he let out a sigh of contentment.
"What's this about?" Harry whispered when the show had gone to a commercial break. His voice was quiet, uncertain in a way that he hadn't been with Blaise for a while.
"We can't cuddle?" Blaise countered, attempting to deflect the question. Harry hummed happily, eyeing Blaise's lips for a moment before turning back to the television screen.
"At least turn on something decent."
"You mean like that baking competition stuff you and Hermione like?"
"It's better than this supernatural drama that you and Daphne like. Magic doesn't work like that. You know that magic doesn't work like that."
"Daphne actually hates it. She just watches it because she likes me." Blaise reached up to tuck a stray curl behind Harry's ear and just let his hand settle on the back of Harry's neck afterwards. Harry hummed again and settled more heavily on top of Blaise.
"She must like you better than I do then."
"I'm crushed," Blaise replied dryly enough for Harry to know he was exaggerating and not being serious. "I think I may cry."
They lay there quietly for a long while. The only sound was the show where the main characters were arguing over something that really didn't matter if the magic in the show worked like magic did in real life. It was comfortable. Blaise listened to the sound of Harry's breathing, and Harry listened to the sound of Blaise's heart, his arms around Blaise's chest.
He noticed, after a while, that Harry was not making any indications to move away, even though Blaise knew he was working on a big project that he was coordinating with another research team on the tablet he had left across the room. He poked Harry in the side, drawing a sleepy little hum of inquiry.
"Kiss me."
Harry turned his head slightly and pressed a warm kiss to Blaise's lips, sweet, tasting like coffee and blueberry crumble cake. So, Harry had no problem with intimacy itself, or even initiating it. Blaise let his mind shift the pieces around some more. Harry must think that others didn't want it. Or that he couldn't ask for it, or initiate it without permission, even if he wanted it.
And Blaise understood that; he really did. He didn't have a problem with that. He had figured from the beginning that Harry would be clingy to a certain extent. Whenever Harry was tipsy or tired, he was all over like an octopus, demanding attention and body warmth. Blaise had signed up for that. He liked that. He loved clingy Harry as much as he loved every other aspect of him. If Blaise needed to give
Harry what he needed because Harry wouldn't ask for it, he would. All their friends already did. Harry
didn't ask for a lot, but they still gave. He would have been content with scraps, but still they all strove to give him a feast.
The least that Blaise could do was provide his share.
So, Blaise held hands. He pulled Harry into hugs; he yanked him down to cuddle; and he carried him to bed. Blaise lingered in the mornings, and he kissed liberally. And Harry was happier, calmer, more content. He even started reaching out for Blaise's hand sometimes, or he would press close without an invitation.
"I'm not too clingy?" Harry asked one day, when they were watching a movie with the others, a
whispered insecurity. Blaise shrugged.
"No, darling. I love it."
And that was that.
Slowly, Harry started to pull Blaise to their bed and curl up next to him with a blanket with his head in his lap and let him pet his hair, and he would hold hands while they were walking or when they were working, and Harry would kiss Blaise sweetly when they ran into each other for no other reason than he could.
And he started initiating touches with their friends as well.
It doesn't take a long time living with him to realize Harry Potter isn't a confident person. But
slowly, together, they were working to change that.