That following morning, Hermione found herself incredibly refreshed and with a little convincing Sev gave into her demands of a repeat of the previous night, but with some variations in positions.
As the week passed, Severus found that her appetite for him was insatiable and he found all of his reservations slowly crumbling. After all, what's one more time when they've pleasured each other a dozen times in less than a week. He mentally berated himself for even keeping count of their activities.
Hermione found herself falling for Sev more and more each day. With their new physical intimacy, it was easy for an emotional attachment to form. She found the man much less of an enigma now. They spoke about his childhood in this home, and of their shared love for food. He told her stories about his time at Hogwarts, and in returns, she revealed her own transgressions from Hogwarts.
"YOU SET MY ROBES ON FIRE?!" he fumed.
"Yes?" she told him sheepishly.
"Blood hell," he let out a bellowing laugh and folded almost in half. "That's… I don't even know what to say."
"I also stole from you in second year for a Polyjuice potion," she admitted smirking.
"That one I had suspected," he nodded pensively. "Though I mostly blamed Potter. "
"Nope! All me," she beamed at him.
"You should have been a Slytherin," he grumbled.
She dropped a kiss on his lip as she strode away from him to make them some tea for the afternoon.
She learned that while Severus enjoyed his coffee, he loved his tea even more. Black with a hint of sugar. Much like his personality. He told her that in his youth, these things were a luxury in the house as his drunkard father wasted all their money that food was a scarcity, much less caffeinated beverages.
Severus was a result of a broken family and despite all his adversities, he somehow always managed to survive and with his soul intact. And what a beautiful soul he was. Always quiet and contemplative, she realised that be was very calculating in his actions and they always resulted to her benefits. Which worried her. He had a plan.
He didn't want her help in the plan.
It involved the potion in his lab.
She moved back into the sitting area with their tea set.
"Thank you," he said as she handed him his cup.
"Sev, I want to know what you're doing in the lab," she started.
He paused as the cup touched his lip.
"I am merely completing the requested potions for my patrons," he replied smoothly.
"One of them being the Dark Lord," she whispered.
"Yes," he sighed.
"Do you not want to live in a world without him?" she asked exasperated.
"It would help my stress level if that snake faced megalomaniac were to keel over," he pondered.
"And you have a plan?" she asked.
"Perhaps, I am waiting for your group of brave Gryffindors to regroup and finally compete the task." he paused and continued. "Without you that is. You will stay safely here in my home."
"But I'm not safe here, or anywhere until he is defeated," she argued.
"I am aware of that. But you are still safer here than anywhere else,"
"Give me my coin back," she ordered him.
"I lost it," he shrugged casually. "It would also be too much of a risk. You can never be certain who has the other coin… or coins."
"Fine," she sighed defeated.
This was the third time they had a version of this conversation. And she knew she would never get more information out of him than he wanted her to know.
She suspected that he was up to something but she never could get the truth of it. In his mind though, he had a countdown to the days until the end. His potion was almost completed and in a weeks time, he would be delivering it and free them all.
Severus felt a sense of peace with it all, except when the probed at him. She was such a know-it-all. Why couldn't she let him enjoy the last of his time on this earth in her embrace.
He was on borrowed time now and he simply wanted to enjoy it. Life was quite pleasant now that he felt unburdened. He felt much less guilt over all the sex they've been having.
But things never did go according to his plans.
3 days before the big day, Hermione prepared a beautiful pot roast for them and followed it with a rich chocolate cake. They had a little elf-wine and they indulged in each other's bodies.
As they laid next to each other, sated and about to drift off to sleep, she whispered in his ear so quietly he may not have heard her, "I love you"
It took everything in his being to not jerk awake and scream at her to take it back. She wasn't supposed to love him. He was not for her to love and loving him would only bring her pain.
That night, when he was sure she had fallen asleep, Severus laid in bed staring at the beautiful young woman in his bed contemplating the least painful way to let her down and not break her heart.
He had nothing he could offer her in the long term.
He wondered if he could be an arse to her again and hope that she would come to hate him. But with 2 days left, he knew she wasn't that gullible.
A small part of Severus was also overjoyed. It was the hopeful part of himself that he rarely acknowledged. She loved him.
In their time together, he has come to see this young woman as more than just Potter's sidekick and former student. He found her to be kind, resilient, and wicked clever. At first, it was just a sense of duty towards her. He wanted to keep her safe and make sure that she could survive through it all. But as he got to know her better, he felt himself soften in her presence. He no longer felt the need to keep a sneer on his face or pretend like he wasn't enjoying himself.
The first time she called him 'Sev', he felt his stomach do a flip. This feeling of anxiety was not something he had felt in decades. Years as a spy has all but removed that emotion from his repertoire. So why was it that this woman made his body physically yearn and hurt. He knew the tell-tale signs of limerence. This is what this was.
But then she begged him to take her to bed. And that was the end of his delusions about his feelings for her.
Severus didn't much value his life so when the opportunity came to rid himself of his life for a brighter future for Hermione, he didn't hesitate. Not because he cared about her personally, but because she represented something better. Perhaps all of Dumbledore's ramblings have finally converted him.
But his duty soon turned into affections, then to hope, and then before he knew it, he was head over heels in love with her. It was sickening really. She was much younger and in a position of subordination from him despite his best efforts. He refused to take advantage of her.
And oh how she tried to entice him.
So this was it, he loved her with all his being, and now he knew she loved him. And in 2 days time, he would be dead and she would be free.
Severus wondered which god he's offended in a past life to deserve this tragedy of a life.
Hermione could feel something was off with him the moment they woke up.
She had turned to him that morning for affection and while normally, he would be more reserved, today Sev returned her desire tenfold. And as she stared into his eyes, she could have sworn they looked glassy. But he blinked and she soon believed that she had imagined it.
"I will never get enough of you," she whispered longingly.
"I am not the only man that can give you pleasure," he told her seriously. "You're simply delusional because I am your first."
"Well let me stay delusional then," she teased him as she acknowledged the truth to his words. He was always so pragmatic. It was irritating. She kissed him again and felt the longing on his lip.
"I—" she was about to tell him how she felt but he stopped her with another kiss.
"I'm famished!" he declared as they broke apart. "For food." He clarified.
As they are breakfast, Sev decided to start on an insightful conversation about magic and their effects once a person dies. How morose.
"Hermione, are you listening?" he broke her out of her reverie.
"Um… no," she looked at him apologetically.
"I was saying how were I to do," he began. "The wards in this house would fade and you would be able to leave. Least you starve to death in this place."
"Are you telling me to kill you?" she asked incredulously.
"How on earth did you come to that conclusion," he sighed.
"So that I may escape," she shrugged.
"You are here mostly for your own safety," he told her. "There are many Death Eaters roaming the wizarding world now and it is not safe for anyone associated with the Order of Pheonix."
"You know what would make me feel like less of a prisoner?" she asked sweetly. "If I could communicate with said members and make sure they were safe."
He sighed and walked away from her.
She sat in the kitchen quietly enjoying the remainder of her meal as she accepted that het would not be returning her coin to her.
Suddenly, he reappeared and dropped the aforementioned coin onto the table with a clank.
"Do be more careful where you store it and what you communicate with it," he implored her.
She stared at the coin and knew something was wrong. Sev was a careful man who wouldn't give her the coin back for her own safety. He was too worried about the repercussions to her to risk it. She had come to understand his views, she didn't agree though.
By dinner time, she had had enough of this oddness. Sev had only spent a brief few hours in the lab today and spent the remaining in her vicinity trying his best to look busy. She was trying to focus on her readings but would catch him staring at her.
"Is everything alright?" she asked finally as they settled onto the couch for the evening.
"Of course," he smiled softly as he brushed her hair out of her face. "My potions are simply simmering so I had more time today. Don't worry, I will be out of your hair tomorrow. I must run some errands."
"But we have plenty of food still," she wondered.
"Potions ingredients," he expanded.
She wasn't going to get more out of him and decided to accept that answer.
She decided to finally have the conversation with him that she was holding onto the whole day.
"Sev," she whispered in the dark at him. "I love you."
The silence felt heavy and she could have sworn she heard him gulp.
"Sev?" she asked quietly. "You don't have to say anything back. I just wanted you to know how I felt. Even if it's not returned."
In the dark, under moonlight, he saw a single tear glisten on her cheek. And his heart broke for her.
"There are much more deserving men who you should give your heart to," he told her simply.
"I don't care," she pouted. "I want you to have it."
"Hermione," he sighed. "This now, it's not permanent. We are in the worst of times and your emotions are simply reacting accordingly. I am not a pleasant man to be with in the long run. I am old and bitter and selfish."
"Do you love me?" she asked curiously.
He paused. He could let her down easy. He should. But in the moment in the dark, he decided to be selfish.
"I— More than anything," he whispered honestly. "I care about you deeply and if love is an emotion I can still feel, then that must be what I'm feeling. I will do everything in my power to protect you and ensure that you are happy."
"Then say it," she begged him.
"I don't know if I can," he told her. In reality he knew that saying those words to her would tie her to him and make it so much harder later. "I need time to think."
Content with what he said she snuggled into his chest.
"I'll take what I can get," she hummed as she fell asleep next to him. Damp tears drying on her cheek against his chest.
—
The next morning, Hermione felt a weight lift from her as she replayed their conversation from the night before. He did care for her, and that was enough for her.
She watched as he got us and ready to leave for the day. He was dressed in his typical black button down robes.
She they finished breakfast, Hermione couldn't help but wonder how an outfit could make a man look so distant and foreboding. Gone was her Sev, and instead this was Professor Snape, the taciturn and hot tempered Potions Master.
"Hermione," he said finally as she stood in the doorway with him. "I must go. Please take care of yourself while I am gone. And please don't cause any trouble."
She smiled at his teasing tone. Despite his outfit, this was still her Severus.
"I'll miss you," she told him as she pulled him down for a kiss.
He pulled her into a deep hug and breathed in her scent before stepped back and leaving the home.
Hermione stood there for a moment before everything finally clicked in her mind.
He had been acting off for days. He had been making plans for her as if he didn't exist and finally, he had acted as if every touch would be their last. And the coin.
"No…" she whispered in fear. She scrambled to his lab to see if there were clues about what stupidity he was about to commit.
All his cauldrons were empty and the entire area was all tidied up. Her dread worsened.
She remembered that silver potion. The one he had been making for Voldemort. Maybe he had notes or something about it.
She walked to his desk and was about to rummage when she saw an envelope addressed to her.
Shaking in anger and fear, she opened the letter and began reading.
My dearest Hermione,
By the time you have the opportunity to read this letter, I will most likely be dead. As you have the opportunity to read this, I imagine Tom Riddle is also deceased. For that feat, the world has only you to thank.
I understand that our time together has not been enjoyable to you and you have suffered both physically and psychologically while under my roof. Words cannot excuse nor erase my actions. But I beg for your understanding.
When the world fell into the hand of Riddle, my Slytherin sensibilities kicked in and I had planned to live a secluded life in Spinner's End in hope of self-preservation. But I found you instead. You reminded me of a childhood friend from the very first moment you entered my classroom. Bright, eager, fascinated, and muggleborn. And when you came into my home I wanted to save you, if only to gasp at the last of my humanity. So I came up with a plan.
I had to prove to myself that I was loyal to Riddle and for that, I had to accost you that day in the kitchen. Once I had regained my loyalty I began to allude to my knowledge of a Cure for Mortality. He caught onto the idea far quicker than I expected and I knew that the potion for be the end of Riddle but also my demise for when he realised, I would be dead on the spot.
But I found myself captivated by you not only physically, intellectually and emotionally. And so I took some liberties with you when you were in my care. I have never been cared for and touched in such a way all my life and I was too selfish to stop it. Perhaps in another life, I would have chosen a domestic life with a woman life yourself. But I have made poor choices in life.
As I have no other family, I wish to leave all my worldly possessions to you. Do with it as you will.
You have given me hope and pleasure in the darkest time of my life.
For that I can never thank you enough.
Please do not mourn me for there is nothing worth mourning.
Yours faithfully,
Severus
THAT BASTARD!
Why did he feel appropriate to throw away his life like this when she could've helped him.
But he wasn't dead yet, she told herself.
She ran up back to the kitchen where the coin sat on the table and held it in her hand.
Pls help- HG
A moment later, her coin burned and someone had written back
Where are you? - HP
Save Snape. Malfoy Manor. NOW
She knew it was dumb and she might be risking the last chance for the wizarding world by sending the Saviour to save her… what even was he to her. A boyfriend? A lover?
On our way already -HP
Stay safe