CHAPTER 22

Jimmy and Buck sat together at breakfast. Dirty plates were shoved aside as they worked on their designs for the old station. Buck and Ike had done some work to turn it into a proper ranch, expanding the corrals and building a new stable. But the homes on the property remained untouched. Technically the property was now owned by Buck, Ike, and Teaspoon, but Jimmy knew that this was their chance to build something that would suit all of them, something to keep the family close together.

So far he and Buck had plans to add two large houses to the property, one where Lou and him could live together, with space for family gatherings and rooms for more children down the road, and one to replace the bunk house so Buck, Ike, and Noah could have a real house to themselves. They could fix up the spare room in Rachel's house to accommodate Cara. That left Teaspoon sleeping in the tack room as he had since the beginning of the Express. But Jimmy had a feeling things might change once they got back to Sweetwater. He was pretty sure that Teaspoon was set on proposing to his old flame again and it would only make sense for him to move in with her, closer to the marshal's office and Polly's cafe.

That got Jimmy thinking. It would take a while to build two new houses. In the meantime, Cara, Lou, and her baby would be cramped in Rachel's two bedroom house and he would be back to sharing a bunk house with the others. The thought of his cold, lonesome bunk depressed him. He couldn't exactly just live with Lou as he had been on their voyage, not if they weren't husband and wife. But the thought of not going to bed with her every night and waking up with her every morning seemed impossible.

Not wanting to contemplate that much further at the moment, he turned his attention to the last leg of their journey. In another week or so they would reach Nebraska City and be done with the river. From there they could take the Nebraska City-Fort Kearny cut off. He was looking forward to being back in Nebraska territory and that much closer to home.

"We should stop for a day or two in Lincoln," he mentioned to Buck. "It'll be a good opportunity to rest the horses after all this." They'd been checking on their mounts regularly, making sure they were safe and in good health. Still, being locked up on the ship without a chance to stretch their legs wasn't ideal. Pushing them on a long journey after so much idleness wouldn't be a good idea.

He was actually looking forward to being back in the saddle. As tiring as riding for the Express had been, he realized he missed it. Talking to Lou had given him a new appreciation of what the job had meant to her. By acting as a man and proving herself capable, she had won a freedom and independence most young women would never experience. While her memories were still fuzzy, one thing that was clear was how much that feeling had meant to her. It was frustrating to think of her cooped up in a wagon all the way back to Sweetwater. He wanted to ride side by side with her, galloping through the fields as they'd once done. But she was with child now, so that would have to wait. Maybe they could ride double on Sundance for a slow walk at least. He smiled wistfully, remembering another time they had done just that.

March 1862

Sweetwater, Nebraska Territory

Noah sat at the marshal's desk, fingering the little slip of paper he'd received from the telegraph office. It was a short message, lacking in detail, but Teaspoon and the others were on their way home with Lou and the woman who had started this whole thing, Miss Cara Kelly. Wonders never cease, he thought to himself.

Things in town had been slow for the most part since Noah stepped in as acting marshal. The army had come through and left, taking several of the town's young men with them. Quietness settled in after that. On boring days he reminded himself to be grateful. Boring meant no one was dying or getting hurt. It meant he was doing his job and the town's people were safe. Most days he patrolled the streets, occasionally breaking up fist fights, throwing somebody in a cell to sober up. He posted the bounties, and kept the streets clean. When there was nothing else to do, he would help Ike around the ranch. It was just starting out so they were focused on breeding and growing their stock. Life was quiet and uneventful. That seemed like it would be changing soon enough.

Nebraska City was a steamboat port and outfitting point for westbound travelers. Jimmy knew it was also a station for runaway slaves, a part of the underground railroad as it was often called. It was rainy when they arrived but the air was mild. It felt like spring was on the horizon. "We'll spend a couple days here so we can gather supplies and prepare a wagon for the rest of the trip," Teaspoon told them. He also planned to see if he could rustle up any news about what had been going on in their absence, to get an idea of what they'd be riding into.

Since they had time to kill, Jimmy and Buck took the horses out for a much needed run. They rode southwest, away from the hustle and bustle of the river. "Race ya?" Buck asked, when they'd put enough distance between them and the city.

"You're on!" Jimmy loosened Sundance's reins and the horse was soon galloping at full clip. Buck quickly caught up and they ran neck and neck for a while before the more agile man bested him. Jimmy could ride a horse just fine, but he'd never been their best rider. Lou was always the fastest, weighing so much less than the rest of them. He couldn't wait to race her across the prairies like this.

When the horses had exhausted themselves they turned them around and found a creek where they could stop and water them. Jimmy crouched by the small spring, splashing some of the cold water on his face. It had been too long since he'd ridden like this. He was already sweating.

Buck thought this was a good time to broach the subject of Louise. "How's Lou doing? She seems better. Steadier, maybe?"

"Yeah. Yeah, I think she is. She's gettin' bits of memory back. They're just," he gestured with one hand, wagging his fingers in the air, "kinda wispy. It's frustrating her. She wants everything all at once, you know."

He did. "Sounds like Lou. Headstrong."

"Yep," Jimmy agreed.

"Obstinate."

"Oh yeah."

"Stubborn."

"Goes without saying."

"Guess that makes you a matched pair?"

Jimmy chuckled. "I may have been accused of such things at one time or another."

Buck tried to assess his friend's countenance. He was pretty sure that he and Lou had moved past the hand holding stage of their physical relationship. "You thought about what it's gonna be like when we get home? For Lou I mean. Most of the town didn't know she was a girl, now she's coming back as an expecting widow."

"And me giving her a reputation would just make things harder on her. I know, Buck."

"So what are you gonna do?"

Jimmy mulled the question over the whole ride back to town. When he finally met Lou in their hotel room, he decided to do the only thing that made sense: talk it over with her. He'd seen her fight with Kid enough to know it wasn't right for him to make decisions for her. He needed to know what she thought.

He entered the room and found her just getting out of the bath. She smiled at him as she secured a fluffy white towel around her small frame. "How was your ride?"

"It was good. Long overdue."

"Water's only lukewarm but you're welcome to it."

He turned his focus from her damp skin to the bathtub. "That's fine." He undressed and sunk into the tepid water. As he soaked, he watched her with interest as she dried her skin and slipped into her undergarments before sifting through the dresses in her trunk. She pulled out a pretty lavender dress, the one she had nearly seduced him in that night, now weeks ago. "Can we talk, Lou?"

"'Course, but you need to get ready so we can meet the others for dinner."

"Maybe after then."

"What is it?" She knelt next to the tub and looked at him seriously. "Did something happen?"

"No, no, nothing to worry about. Just thought we should make some plans for when we get home."

It seemed to her there was more to it than that, but she let it go for the moment. She was starving.

Dinner was decadent. They feasted on roast beef with gravy, roasted vegetables seasoned with garlic and rosemary, and hot, buttery biscuits and jam. The hotel restaurant was reminiscent of the types of places Alex would bring her to in Boston, but Louise tried to ignore that and focus on the food and the company. Sometimes she felt that, even though he was gone, they were so inextricably linked that she could never be free of him. He was in her blood, if not her bones.

After dinner, they strolled through the streets of Nebraska City. Jimmy and Lou trailed behind the others, hand in hand.

"You seemed distracted at dinner. Everything alright?"

"Do you think a person is more than their memories? If you've lived this whole life, but can't remember it… What makes you who you are?" She did that sometimes, brought you into the middle of a conversation that had been going on in her own head.

"Lou, there's no saying you won't get all your memories back eventually. I think the fact you're remembering at all means that you can. But even if you don't, there's more to who you are than that." He stopped her and turned her to face him. Cupping her face in his hands, he told her what he knew she needed to hear. "You do not begin and end with Alexander, Lou. I know it can feel that way sometimes. He didn't make you. He certainly didn't break you. We're gonna go home and we're gonna make a lot of new memories and only you can decide who you will be."

She stretched up to give him a gentle kiss. He felt her smile press against his lips. How does he always know exactly what to say?

They walked for a while and by the time they got back to the hotel, Jimmy didn't want to talk about the future anymore. He just wanted to show her how much he loved her.

He helped her out of her dress and then stripped off his clothes. He watched as she took her hair down, standing stark naked in front of the mirror. He sidled up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Damn, you're beautiful. I'm never gonna get enough of you, you know." He studied their reflection in the mirror while he ran his hands over her, gently cupping her breasts and running his thumbs over her nipples till they grew taut. It made her moan and that alone had his dick twitching against her backside. Knowing how badly he wanted her sent shivers down her spine and liquid heat directly to her core. "Whenever I'm inside you, it feels just like home." She could feel him throbbing for her and she spoke his name, pleadingly.

Pressing into her round softness, he rubbed himself against her, precum dripping onto her bare bottom, mouth attacking her neck, her shoulder. Grabbing her arm he spun her around and nimbly hefted her unto his hips. She brought her legs up to encircle his waist. Pushing her into the wall, he kissed her mercilessly - hard, rough, devouring kisses. He crushed his body to hers and then, remembering her tender breasts, pulled back, but she grabbed him and brought him flush to her. Her naked skin rubbed against him, her soft curves against his hard torso. She used the purchase of his broad shoulders to pull herself up so she could position her pulsing wet heat above his tip. Jimmy used it to tease her, circling around her opening, brushing against her clit, spreading her wetness to help her encompass all of him. She ached for him to fill her like no one else could. "I'm yours," he whispered into her ear as he finally let her sink down onto his rigid shaft.

She gasped, the sensation of him stretching her was overwhelming, so thick, so hard and deep within her. "Yes, Jimmy!" His name on her lips, breathless and needy made his body react and he drove into her forcefully. His action drew pleasing sounds from Lou and he pistoned in and out of her as she whimpered, her muscles clenching him tightly. Her hips struggled to keep up with him as they both moved frantically against the other. Her thighs tightened around him. Her moans became higher, desperate. Jimmy licked the ridge of her ear and sucked her earlobe into his mouth.

"Cum for me, beautiful. I want to feel you. I need to feel you," he begged. She was already there, her body clinging to his as she pulsated around his shaft, trying to milk him, take everything he had. "Oh, fuck! Oh, Lou!" He slammed into her canal and her back hit the wall as if he were trying to push her through the solid wood. His head snapped back and his hips jerked uncontrollably as he expelled rope after rope, filling her with his seed.

Jimmy's legs shook and he steadied himself against the wall that he was using to hold both of them upright. Lou was limp in his arms, head leaning back against the wall while he tried to find his breath again. The air was full of their heavy breathing and the scent of sex and sweat.

He wasn't sure how long he stood there, legs going numb. "Jimmy?" Her voice brought him back to their hotel room. She shifted uncomfortably in her position, sandwiched between his body and the wall. He took a step back, freeing his softening member from her sweet warmth and allowing Lou to get her legs under her once again. She placed a hand on the wall for balance and he was pleased to see she was as unsteady as he was. Their combined lust glazed his cock and it dripped from Lou, coating her thighs in the shiny evidence of their act. The sight of it stirred his lower body back to life.

"Do you even know what you do to me?"

"You did that. I haven't done anything…yet." Lou bit her bottom lip and looked him over, as if contemplating all her choices. She saw the same thing he did, all the remnants of their love painted on his growing manhood. She wondered what they would taste like, all mingled together. Was that obscene? Her mouth twitched into a sly grin knowing he would never judge her desires. If she wanted it, he would want to give it to her.

She splayed her hands on his chest and pushed him back towards the bed until he bumped the frame and took a seat at the edge of the mattresses. His hands reached for her waist, ready to pull her into his lap, but she stepped back out of his reach. Holding his golden brown eyes with hers, she slowly lowered herself to the floor to kneel before him. Jimmy shook with anticipation, unconsciously parted his legs a little more. This was…dirty. Lou was about to suck the cum off his dick and the idea made him painfully swollen. The gleam in her eyes told him she was as excited to taste him as he was to be tasted. Her eyes shifted away from his and to his lap where his erection pointed up like a pillar. It felt hard as marble too. She licked her lips and he groaned, something deep in his belly turning with unbearable need.

She licked him from base to tip. He was salty and musky. She swirled her tongue around his head before swallowing him into her mouth, stroking him with her tongue and hollowing her cheeks. New sensations assaulted Jimmy, like he'd never felt before, her mouth sucking him in, warm and wet, as her tongue caressed his length. He was enraptured with her fervent sucking of his cock. His dick hummed, overcome with the exquisite ecstasy she was giving him.

"Lou, I'm gonna cum," the words came out strangled, a warning. He was so close, barely holding onto the edge she sought to push him over. Did he want to cum in her mouth? Did he want her to stop so he could be inside her miraculous cunt once again? He didn't know. He wanted both, all, every piece of her. She made the choice for him, pulling away and positioning herself on the bed, on elbows and knees, ass in the air, inviting him to take her. Jimmy stood behind her, mesmerized by her glistening slit, parted just for him.

He gripped her legs, using his knee to spread her wider for him. He watched his cock disappear into the space between her thighs as he buried himself inside her. He fucked her slowly, deeply, letting his hands wander over her back, the bend of her hips from her slender waist, the arch of her heart-shaped ass. Watching himself fuck her, he smiled possessively, growing slicker with each thrust. He imagined this was what heaven was like, just an endless loop of him moving inside of her, forever. He stared at the juncture of their bodies watching himself plunging in and dragging himself out only to do it again and again. Closing his eyes he focused on the feel of her holding him tightly in her womanhood and the sound of her shameless moaning interspersed with the soft cries of pleasure.

Wrapping his hands around her hips he pulled her ass flush against him and ground himself inside her. Jesus Christ, how can one woman feel this fucking good?!

Because she is our heart, his muddled brain answered him. Because she is home.

Because she makes me whole. He remembered her words from that night, how she seemed to see inside his heart like no one else ever could.

He pulled out of her abruptly, wanting her face to face. "No," she groaned in protest and he chuckled at her wantonness.

"Don't worry sweetheart." He flipped her onto her back and knelt in the space between her legs. "We're far from done."