A/N: I debated a little with myself whether to attempt to establish a regular posting schedule with this update, but I'd hoped for that with previous one and then I got Covid and it waylaid me for weeks. So here we go. Next update though will not come before next week.
Additionally, the expected chapter number has grown. We're careening now into the second part of the story which has, admittedly - in parts, been waiting to see the light of day for years. All I can say is, whatever happens, the tag for eventual happy ending is one I intend to honor, so when all else fails - cling to that lifeboat.
Happy reading!
Chapter 31 – Girl talk 2 – The Unraveling
Spring was in full bloom today. It was almost too late for that – long, long past time. There had been many cold and rainy days and likely more lay ahead, but today – today spring was showing off for the summer that was just around the corner.
Laurel had ditched her jacket back at the garage and her bright white, professional V-neck blouse now spotted a ketchup stain, much to her chagrin. Thea tried to conceal her amusement, badly, as she fished some napkins out of her sizeable bag of goodies and handed them to Laurel.
"Is that … Felicity?" Laurel asked, raising her gaze from the stain and pointing vaguely with her hotdog in the direction of Verdant's backdoor. A little bit of ketchup squeezed out from the hotdog and dropped on the sidewalk.
"Hrumpf," was Thea's affirmative response as she chewed on her own lunch, just to avoid grinning like a loon. It was hard not to be amused – Laurel was composed, serene most of the time now that she was on the mend – seeing her fumble was a treat. It also showed how much she had grown to relax both around Thea and in general.
"Did you call her?" Laurel asked as she smiled and nodded at Felicity – who fidgeted near the club's door – while Laurel just made the stain on her shirt worse. "That's it. There goes that…" she finally huffed and let the ketchup medal on her chest be.
"Nope," Thea finally managed human words, before wiping mustard off her upper lip. "I take it that you didn't either."
"No," Laurel replied quietly and put forth a friendly face as they neared Oliver's designated spy girl. "Hi, Felicity," she said much louder. "This is a surprise."
Felicity winced. "It's gonna be more of a surprise when I start again with – I know what you did, and no," she threw up her arms before Laurel and Thea managed to look suspicious, "I did not spy on you specifically, but, just like last time…," she stopped mid-tirade and blew a large breath. "How about we go inside where we're less likely to be overheard?" she said more to give herself space to regroup than for actual concern of eavesdroppers. There weren't many people milling about the club at this daylight hour.
Thea shrugged, catching Laurel's look, "Sure, the first shift isn't in for another half hour. We should be totally alone."
Felicity winced – how often was the Verdant empty when it was supposed to be empty? It was now. She had chosen her window of opportunity well – the Arrow Cave was empty too, but neither Laurel nor Thea had any idea that it was there. Secrets upon secrets. I will definitely not tell them about Arrow Cave. That. And Oliver. And Sara.
"Alright," Laurel said once they were all settled by the bar, just like last time. Remains of hotdog wrapper dropped in a bin. "What is it that I've done again that brings you to our doorstep this time?"
Thea looked at Laurel, concern flashing in her eyes.
Laurel sighed, and for Thea's peace of mind added, "I haven't been jumping from any bridges lately, has Oliver…"
"But you have been from balconies," Felicity interrupted. And winced.
Heavy silence settled at that announcement. A soda bottle slipped from Thea's hand and thumped against the bartender's side of the bar. "What?!"
Laurel cocked her head sideways, shifting into fighting stance, "Does Oliver have you spying on me?" Her eyes narrowed, "What do you get out of it?!"
"No, no, it's not like that!" Felicity slid from her chair to put some distance between herself and Laurel. It felt safer. It also felt like the distance gave her space to formulate better sentences. And the bar protected her from Thea. "I mean, he did ask me to find out who it was at the Bertinelli hostage thing, but…"
The problem with Felicity was that – she did not mean to blurt out so many things when she talked. She just didn't see the point in lying. Or hiding things unnecessarily. Which was bad - considering the general business she was in. However, it was not like she babbled at people that should not be privy to the things she said, after all – Laurel and Thea seemed to be bona fide vigilantes themselves. Plus, she liked to clarify things. It was very important that things are clear when they are spoken. Or you have 99 bugs in 9 lines of code. And hence Felicity's trouble with stopping the deluge of words.
" Why would he do that?" Laurel inched forward on her barstool and pressed before Felicity could finish her thought.
"Well, he just wanted… You know, wanted to know who the vigilantes are." That sounds reasonable, doesn't it? Felicity's thoughts were more of a comfort rather than something she actually believed in.
"So, you were looking into who is the Arrow? Oliver's been looking into who's the Arrow?" Laurel continued to push. Because the only way it made sense was if Oliver was looking into all the vigilantes, because what interest could two unidentified, previously unknown women possibly hold? It felt like in court – that this was a thread on which if she pulled, she'd crack the case open. Or at least the witness.
"No, that's funny," Felicity mumbled instinctive denial under the pressure and then bit her tongue as she noticed Laurel's gaze sharpen. "I mean it's funny, because Oliver was accused of being the Arrow." Ha-ha.
"No, that's not why," Laurel countered, her tone calm. Her face could have been carved from stone; she became so unyielding. "It would be the least funny thing in the world for him to be interested in the identity of the man for whom he almost went to jail. It would be the least funny thing to investigate the man I hunted for months after the destruction of the Glades. It wouldn't be funny at all to do it more than a year after his trial while his mother is a mayoral candidate." So many legitimate reasons.
"Oliver has a strange sense of humor?" Felicity fumbled and tried to add a charming smile as she clung to her statement as her mind blanked. How did I go so wrong?
"Oliver certainly has a strange something," Thea grumbled, but didn't continue when she saw Laurel shake her head slightly.
"You found us," Laurel took up another angle. Her tone became friendlier, her shoulders relaxed down, and she scooted back on her chair – creating more space between them.
Felicity nodded, suspicious, but ultimately relieved. She perched back on the barstool that she had abandoned.
"Means you found Arrow too," Laurel concluded.
"Ah…" and the other shoe drops. For lack of better idea, Felicity kept her mouth shut.
Laurel didn't try to string all the information floating around together yet. The facts floated as separate entities in her awareness. Fact 1: Oliver had asked Felicity to find the vigilantes. Fact 2: Felicity knew that she and Thea had been two of the vigilantes at the courthouse. Fact 3: It had taken Felicity a bit more than a week to confront her and Thea. Fact 4: Felicity was very good at finding things. Fact 5: Arrow had been active for nearly two years. Fact 6: Oliver had been accused of being the Arrow and she had defended him.
"Don't say it's funny," Laurel said it softly, but there was underlying steel there. And a warning - she would not appreciate being lied to.
"Well, when you put it like that…," Felicity smiled nervously and then as a last-ditch attempt tried to pivot the whole thing, "I mean, I just wanted to give you a fair heads up that having a vehicle registered to you near the action area is just…" She rolled her eyes, "Well, makes it easy to identify you. And I haven't told anyone else – this time you're the first ones to hear what I know. But you must be more careful if you want to keep this up."
Laurel took no offense. The car had been a concern for her from the start. She did latch on to something else. If we want to keep it up. Fact 7: Felicity seemed very comfortable with the concept of vigilantism. Too comfortable.
"So, that's what it took… Vehicle…" Laurel said quietly, nodding to herself. "Close to…" a terrible picture started forming in her head – a memory of very similar circumstances. For a minute she felt herself sink into that recollection – security camera footage, a lie detector test passed entirely too well, a trial, a well-timed kiss and an even better-timed excuse.
All the facts came together in a perfectly solved puzzle. "Say it," her eyes locked with Felicity as she demanded the truth. She didn't know how she found her voice when she felt so hollow.
"Say what…?" Felicity still gambled on being able to talk her way out of this. I will definitely not tell them about Arrow Cave. That. And Oliver. And Sara. She turned the thought around and around like a spell.
"You found us, because we were a coincidence too much," Laurel's cool tone dispelled any possible misunderstanding. "You found a picture of a car, maybe two women, and you pieced it together and …" Her eyes fell shut as she let the realization hurt.
She wallowed in that hurt for only a moment. Then Laurel took a deep breath and when she spoke next, she said it more to herself than anyone else in the room; self-loathing underscored her words, "It would take an absolute idiot willing to bury her head in the sand, a self-absorbed moron preoccupied with herself to entertain a delusion that there is a half-baked… Oh, for fuck's sake, my father was right."
"Laurel, what?" Thea was both impressed and surprised at Laurel's swearing.
Laurel let the shame roll over her. It burned from her scalp down her back like a scalding shower. Something dark curled around her heart and made a nest within the safe confines of her ribcage. She had been that idiot, that moron. She had been so blind, for so long. She had been a trusting, naïve fool.
She took the hit of that realization with eyes wide open even as she swayed with it on the edge of her barstool. "Say it, Felicity, say it out loud and don't you dare lie," she demanded harshly.
"Laurel, please… I promised…" Felicity tried to plead, because if she didn't say it – maybe they could pretend that this hadn't happened. Just like a coffee spilled laptop with a bullet hole.
"You promised me too. Tell me," I already know.
"Oliver is Arrow," Felicity ducked her head. I will definitely not tell them about Arrow Cave. That. And Sara. Maybe. Hopefully. She tried to comfort herself.
Thea gasped.
Laurel stilled. Her eyes fell shut. Somehow hearing the admission from Felicity felt like a blow regardless. She had half-wanted to be convinced that she was imagining things again. But no. Everything was in the open now. In the cold light of an unopened nightclub – it all made sense.
It should have made sense two years ago. It should have made sense when the man in the hood gravitated towards her out of all the citizens of the city. It should have made sense when the man in the hood was there whenever the villain of the month took an interest in her. It should have made sense when she defended Oliver in trial. When she learned of his scars. When she realized that he had lied and still passed the lie detector test. When Oliver and Arrow came and disappeared from the city at the same time. It should have been obvious to everyone, but most of all – it should have been obvious to her, because wasn't she the one who claimed to see in Oliver something no one else saw?
How blind I've been. How stupid.
And she felt humiliated. Oliver had done everything in his power to mislead her. He had played with her head masterfully – between pushing her away and clutching her close, between asking for her forgiveness and replaying his top greatest hits, culminating in a romance with her sister again. She'd been trying to find balance on ground that he constantly shifted beneath her feet.
She could conclude only one thing. She had never known him, and he had never trusted her.
Laurel felt cold creep up from deep in her stomach. It froze her insides, but her mind remained sharp and clear. The rollercoaster that she was on – it was not stopping. She spoke even before the thought finished unfurling before her - "Last time you said that Oliver found out about me…," she stopped, unable to continue to elaborate on her night on the bridge.
She started again and declared mechanically, "You said, he found out when his bodyguard found out, when Sara was in the room." And then to the core of the matter, "Why was Sara in the room? Why… Where would you even be looking for this?" she asked the questions even as she could hazard a guess for the answer.
Laurel took a deep breath and pinned Felicity with her gaze. "Does Sara know that Oliver is Arrow?"
Felicity strongly wished for a drink and softly surrendered. "Yes..?" she answered, as if the answer was being pulled from her. "I mean, yes, she knows, I mean…"
Laurel felt herself shutting down, the cold enveloping her being. Of course. "They were both on the island after all," her voice trembled.
"Oh god," Thea breathed. She'd watched the interrogation first in fascination and then in dawning shock. "They were both on the island, so … Is Sara?"
"I think we don't need Felicity to confirm what already seems obvious. Sara is the other vigilante woman. The Black Canary," Laurel said, the cold freezing her whole being. She hugged her arms around herself to preserve any heat left inside.
"I wasn't supposed to tell you that," Felicity said sadly, slumping in her seat. "I want to keep your secret, because I promised you, but I promised them too, and … shit." I will definitely not tell them about Arrow Cave. That. She still had some secrets to keep.
"Oh, well…" Thea wasn't sure what to say. Her hands slid along the counter looking for something to do. "My brother's a hero. That's… new, I think," she breathed as she relived her memories of recent times in her mind. "All the times I said he didn't care… That he left us, or that he left mom, he… He actually could make a difference, he …" She felt bile rising up her throat. She had been horrible to Oliver while he had been saving people's lives.
"The bodyguard knows too, right? You are all in on it," it hurt to speak like the most monstrous cold had taken residence in her throat.
Felicity fidgeted but didn't deny.
"Who else knows?"
"I really shouldn't," this time Felicity pushed back harder, sensing that Laurel was out of steam.
"At this point – you really should," Thea piped in, reminding Felicity that it's two against one here.
"Roy," Felicity mumbled, glancing at Thea.
"What?" this time Thea felt taken aback – somehow everything about her brother being the Arrow made her a little proud, but Roy… Was this the reason he had broken her heart? And as she glanced at Laurel she realized that there was a pattern – Oliver breaking Laurel's heart, Roy breaking hers. She asked, even though she could guess. "How does he feature in this?" Roy had been obsessed about finding Arrow. Guess he did and neglected to tell me.
"No, I will not spill all of Oliver's secrets for him. Or anyone elses. I don't owe you that much. I'm sorry. Ask anything else – but not this. I will not. Now that you know – you can ask any of them yourselves. You can tell them all that I told you and mea culpa – but I will not say more. Please don't ask me," Felicity found her line in the sand. She would surrender no more. Uneasily she considered that perhaps she had let slip so much, because deep down she believed that Laurel and Thea deserved to know.
Thea nodded, "Okay," she took it in disappointed stride. Then she pulled three glasses and poured all of them some good whiskey. "I think we all need this one now."
Felicity grabbed her glass, "I needed this yesterday."
Thea chuckled as she took a swing from her own, "Just … wow," then she moved to toast Felicity.
Laurel was still. She didn't touch her glass. But once she heard the clink from the newly formed solidarity between Thea and Felicity she moved – she slid from her chair. "I'm sorry. I… Thank you, Felicity, for coming to us. For sharing, I don't…" every heartbeat felt like a hammer to her chest, "I don't think I've had anyone be as honest with me as you've been lately, I… I hope that I can count you as a friend after the way…" she knew full well she had pushed far beyond Felicity's boundaries. "I'm sorry, I need some air."
"Laurel…" concern took over Thea's expression.
"I just need some time," Laurel explained, pleaded. "Please. Enjoy the drink. I'm sorry. And thank you." She fled.
"Should we follow?" Felicity asked, her eyebrows furrowed in worry.
Thea stared after Laurel thoughtfully before deciding, "No. She won't… She deserves to think about it. She'll be safe."
"I'm the one that should be sorry," contrition colored Felicity's voice.
"No," Thea replied swiftly and strongly. "Laurel had it right - you've been nothing but honest. You're the one that has least to be sorry about." She sighed heavily. She already knew that while news about Oliver would be hardest on Laurel, it was easiest on her. Thea could find nothing but pride in her heart when she reflected on it. "Cheers," she moved for another toast. "And tell me in details how did you find it was us at the courthouse?"
Felicity tapped her glass with Thea's, took a large mouthful and coughed as it burned going down. "Well…"
By the time the nightclub was opening both of them were well into party mood.