Disclaimer: Nope.
Author's Note: Hello everyone, and thank you so much for the incredible reviews! I hope everyone's doing well. My husband and I just spent another week in beautiful Rock Hall, Maryland with my parents and a good friend of ours. There's truly no place in the world that's more beautiful. To sit on the deck and listen to the birds is magical. All bad feelings are swept away in the breathtaking water, and the gorgeous sunshine relieves all worries, tension, and stress. If there's any way that any of my readers can get to Rock Hall, Maryland, I'd highly recommend it. There is no place like it - I honestly don't know how it's even on Earth at all.
I'm really glad you enjoyed the chapter with Petunia. I honestly can't stand that awful woman. I do have sympathy for what she went through as a teenager - having a sister who has all these extraordinary talents and you don't have them - that is really, really tough to deal with. But most people get over those kind of resentments, and when there's a child involved, that changes things enormously. The way she treated Harry was abominable, and I have no sympathy for that at all. None of her actions were justifiable whatsoever, even though I believe the way she was asked to care for Harry by Dumbledore left ... er ... much to be desired. But Harry deserved a happy childhood, and I thoroughly despise both Petunia and Vernon for their repulsive, horrific actions towards an innocent child. And the way they allowed Dudley to become a spoiled brat of a bully is truly disgusting. We'll have to see whether her confrontation with some of the Order members has any effect at all.
Anyway, I really hope you enjoy this chapter. This goes into some major Sturgis backstory, folks. In the next chapter, we'll go back to Harry and Sirius.
But, in the meantime ... why on Earth did Sturgis, usually so sturdy and poised, almost lose control and attack Petunia? I've been wanting to write this chapter for a very long time.
I hope you enjoy it.
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"Sturgis. Breathe."
Sturgis Podmore barely made out his best friend Kingsley's voice through the cacophony of anger, disgust, and outright hatred that swarmed through him as the other man guided him to the couch in his home, which was now, of course, Order Headquarters. "It's all right. It's all right."
But everything was so wrong. Sturgis, who prided himself on staying in control of his emotions, felt like he was going to spontaneously combust with everything that was inside of him. He couldn't remember the last time he'd needed someone else to tell him what to do.
The anger was so blinding that it coursed through him in waves. He was gasping in short, quick pants, as if he'd just done a massive workout in the exercise room. His heart was pounding so hard that it was a wonder that the people five streets away couldn't hear it.
"She ... she wanted to stamp the magic out of him." Sturgis's voice was dangerously low, and his whole body shook with renewed fury as Petunia Dursley's shrill voice rang through his mind.
Kingsley placed his hand on Sturgis's shoulder. "I need you to breathe." His voice was calming. "Breathe with me." He started taking slow, deep breaths, and with an effort of Herculean proportions, Sturgis followed suit.
As he began to calm down and truly take stock of where he was, his mind became a little clearer, but the anger and hate inside him still burned like fire. Throughout his life, he had learned how destructive anger could be, and what kind of decisions it could lead you to. Therefore, whenever he felt it coming upon him, he made a real effort to keep it under control.
But this was the one exception. This was the one thing he could never be rational about, and for good reason. Whenever he heard threats like that, they reminded him of ...
"Thank you." Sturgis sighed as his whole body sagged, collapsing onto the sofa in the living room. "I almost lost control in front of Petunia. I almost ... almost attacked her. I almost went against Harry's wishes and ..."
"I know." Kingsley's hand was still on Sturgis's shoulder. "You know that's why I offered to come to the Dursley residence as well, don't you?" he asked gently.
Sturgis nodded. As Order leader, he felt it his duty to go and confront Petunia, but Kingsley had had no reason to be involved. Therefore, it made all the sense in the world why he had come. Moody had agreed to go because he had found out about Harry's home life from their Occlumency lessons, and though he told none of the other Order members about what he had seen in those sessions, the dark look in his eyes spoke volumes. And Remus ... it was obvious why he had gone. He'd been best friends with James and Lily, and truly loved Harry like a nephew.
Sturgis knew exactly what Kingsley had saved him from today. All those years ago, when he'd avoided being tossed into an Azkaban cell, he'd vowed that he would never set foot inside that place. He'd devote his whole life to becoming a better person.
But upon hearing those words coming out of that vile woman's mouth, he'd almost forgotten his vow. All he knew in that moment was hate and anger so strong that he wanted nothing more than to lash out at the creature who said such disgusting things about a child, and hurt her in the worst way.
His heart twisted in his chest as Ben's face swam through his mind - Ben, who was currently at Hogwarts and had no idea what his father had almost done today. Ben, who Sturgis would die for, would kill for.
Ben, who was the sole reason Sturgis had almost forgotten everything, but was also the sole reason he should remember. ...
"It's all my fault." Sturgis whispered the words, sounding like a truly broken man as memories of the past and present warred with one another in his mind.
"Your fault?" Kingsley's eyes were intense as he stared at his best friend, who he'd been through thick and thin with. "How is it your fault?"
"How could I have just let it go, when Dumbledore told us that Harry was safe, and had gone to live with his Muggle family?" Sturgis whispered. "Was I that exuberant that the war was over that I truly just ... just let it go? And after ... after what happened to ... to ..." He choked. "After what happened between me and ... how could I have not remembered that Harry was ..."
"Sturgis." Kingsley's tone was stern but gentle. "How could you put this all on yourself? We all listened to Albus. We all thought that Harry was with family, and that he was safe. We had no reason to think otherwise." He looked meaningfully at Sturgis, holding his gaze intently. "And how can you blame yourself for only having Ben on your mind, after what happened between you and Sandra?"
Sturgis flinched at hearing the name, the same way most witches and wizards did when hearing Voldemort's. "Please don't," he whispered.
Kingsley's eyes were soft with compassion and understanding. "After all this time?" he whispered.
"Yes," Sturgis said softly, the pain almost tearing him apart. "I've tried," he went on as he closed his eyes, fighting back waves of heartbreak. "Merlin knows I've tried to face what happened. But I ..." He stopped, and took a deep breath.
"Ben knows," he said, pain continuing to ripple through him. "I told him, last year. He ... he took it better than I ever could have imagined. He always knew that something bad happened between me and his mother but ... I realized that last year, he was old enough for me to tell him the truth. And he ... instead of being upset for himself, he comforted me."
Sturgis fought back tears as the memories of that conversation filtered through his mind. He had been scared for any of Ben's possible reactions, but he should have known his son well enough to realize how he would take the news.
"Of course he did." Kingsley smiled softly. "He's a good kid," he whispered.
"He is." Sturgis said the words with steely conviction. "It only brought us closer together."
Kingsley nodded, and the two lapsed into silence as the memories of a severely painful past flitted through Sturgis's mind, only growing stronger the longer they sat there.
As he had faced Petunia Dursley, he had focused very hard on the task at hand, only slipping when the woman had uttered that repulsive phrase. Now, however, as he sat with Kingsley and the other man allowed him the time and space to work through the pain and grief he tried to always keep buried inside him, the memories burst forth from his mind, more potent and powerful than they had been in a very long time.
xxx
Sunday, March 17, 1985
Sturgis sighed as he cleaned up the dishes in the kitchen of the apartment he and his wife, Sandra, shared. It was a very nice place, with two bedrooms, one bathroom, a kitchen, and a cozy living room.
Sandra had worked in finance, and made it her prerogative to tell Sturgis every little thing she was doing and every little meeting she was going to. she had done it simply because she wanted Sturgis to be interested in what she was doing. And honestly, he was - he was exceedingly proud of her.
Now, however, she was devoting all her time to taking care of Benjamin, who was six and a half months old. He was currently down for his nap, and Sturgis felt his heart overflow just at the thought of him peacefully tucked up in his crib.
It had been a difficult process, to reintegrate into wizarding society after the war was over. It had ended so abruptly with Voldemort's defeat at the hands of little Harry Potter that no one was quite prepared for it. After so much violence and bloodshed, to suddenly go into peacetime was very strange. Because sometimes, dealing with the aftermath was a lot more difficult than dealing with warfare itself. After all, in the aftermath, there was unresolved grief to grapple with, and celebrations which almost seemed ... jarring.
Sturgis had wanted more than anything for the war to end, and so had all those he had fought with. They grieved together for the lives lost, and struggled to make sense of the world the way it was now. The Auror training program was now three years again instead of two, and upon the war's conclusion, less people were signing up to be recruits. It was like much of the world had gone still.
Sturgis had focused so much of his time on fighting the war that he'd left no room in his life for other things. He'd mentored trainees, gone on missions, and fought with the Order. He'd devoted his time and attention to helping those who fought with him, making sure that they could be as okay as it was possible to be in those times.
But now that it was over, he could focus on other matters. Like finding love, something he honestly hadn't thought much about during the years of the war.
He'd had flings with women during the war years - he'd sowed his wild oats, as the expression went. But he never made a commitment to any of them. As ashamed as he was to admit it now, it had been intensely comforting to get lost in a woman's touch during the times when he didn't know if he'd live to see tomorrow. And it had stroked his ego when he saw women looking at him with respect and adoration, especially the ones who worked in his vicinity. There had been drunken nights of passion, where there were moans of need and pants for more between sheets. There had been kisses that tasted like wine, and the heady, selfish, throbbing need to feel something else other than the pain of loss or the grip of despair as yet more lifeless bodies were discovered with the Dark Mark hanging over them like a specter of doom.
Love? Sturgis could freely admit that there had never been love there. He had an endless amount of respect for people like James and Lily - Merlin rest their souls - who had found it within themselves to commit to each other through such dangerous times. The same went for Frank and Alice - Merlin - just thinking of them made him shudder, and feel that heartbreak all over again.
But then, in the spring of 1983, when flowers were blooming and the world was filled with the sweet smells of renewal, Sturgis met Sandra.
Unlike many witches and wizards, Sturgis had always been very interested in the Muggle world. He was fascinated by their inventions, and didn't understand why so many in the magical world spoke about them like they were either cute pets or ungodly heathens that no one wanted to associate with. Different cultures had always piqued his interest, and Muggles, unlike what so many witches and wizards thought, were not stupid or backwards because they didn't possess magical abilities.
Sturgis had always loved going to the theater to watch shows in London. Acting had always been a skill he admired greatly, and, when he thought about it, it was something he had put to the test while on Auror missions. He had to play a part, either being incredibly discreet or acting like he was someone else. He remembered the taste of Polyjuice Potion as he forced it down his throat, the way it shot through his bloodstream and twisted his insides, making his stomach feel sick, like he'd gotten a severe case of food poisoning for just a second before the nausea left as quickly as it had come. That acting ... it certainly hadn't been fun. Necessary, but not fun at all.
However, what he saw in the theater looked exceedingly fun. Sometimes, his best friend Kingsley came along with him, and they'd go for a drink and a bite to eat afterwards, having long, animated discussions about what they liked and didn't like about the shows. When he talked about it at work, some of the Aurors looked at him like he'd gone mad, but he paid those looks no heed. He was enjoying himself - and why shouldn't he?
In the spring of 1983, the show that Sturgis had decided to go to was not one that Kingsley had been interested in. But Sturgis, feeling adventurous, chose to go alone. He very much enjoyed these outings, and it gave him a chance to truly take a break from the magical world for several hours.
Sandra Robinson had chosen to go to the theater that night alone, as well. Her best friend, who had meant to go with her, had a nasty bug and hadn't been feeling well. As disappointed and as concerned as she had been for her friend, Sandra had still decided to attend the show. She and Sturgis had ended up sitting next to each other, and both being unattached, decided to go for a drink afterwards.
And the rest, they say, is history.
It became a regular occurrence for Sturgis and Sandra to attend the theater together, and Sturgis had had to put up with an endless amount of teasing from Kingsley. "So," his best mate had said with a broad smile on his face. "I've been replaced with a very pretty woman, eh? That's a shame." But his eyes were laughing, and Sturgis knew that his best friend was exceedingly happy for him.
Because Sturgis already knew so much about the Muggle world, he didn't find it very difficult to navigate a conversation without mentioning magic. When Sandra asked him what he did for a career, he told her as much as he could without mentioning any wizarding terminology at all. According to her, his job was very secretive, and he couldn't tell many people about it. Sandra seemed to accept this, and it only added to his charm, in her opinion - that was what she told him, at least.
They had a lot of fun together, but the more the months passed, the more Sturgis knew he was growing serious about her. He realized that he didn't just want this relationship to be about theater dates and nights at each other's apartments afterwards. What he felt for her was much more intense and powerful than what he'd felt for the other women he had romantic dalliances with in the years of the war.
As their relationship grew, he always felt like something was standing in their way, however. She had told him every little thing about her, but he couldn't tell her everything about him. Surely, his mysterious nature could only charm her for so long? Wouldn't she eventually ask more questions, and want to know more about what he did for a living?
The Statute of Secrecy stated that if a witch or wizard dated a Muggle, they couldn't tell them about the wizarding world until they were married. Even though Sturgis understood the reasons why this was the case, he found it exceedingly frustrating. He truly wanted him and Sandra's relationship to move forward, but there was this ... barrier that was between them that kept it from doing so.
Thankfully, since it was peacetime, Sturgis was no longer sent on missions that took days to complete. Voldemort's defeat certainly didn't mean the end of dark wizard activity altogether - to think such a thing would be incredibly naive. Aurors were still needed for assignments, but whenever Sturgis was sent on one, he was almost always back the same day. He could only be glad for it, as it meant that he was able to spend more time with Sandra.
Sandra's parents were another matter altogether, however. They seemed to have a problem with him, and though they didn't say it out loud, he was almost positive it was due to his career. After all, they kept trying to get the truth out of him. Sandra told him that they were honestly worried about what she'd gotten herself into by dating him. It only made Sturgis feel worse about the entire situation.
Both her parents were very religious folk, too, and she shared in their beliefs. Due to this, there was a large part of Sturgis that worried about how she might react if she were to find out about the magical world. But no scenario he could ever have imagined was as bad as what eventually happened.
At the end of November 1983, they had enjoyed an evening out, and both had embibed more alcohol than they normally consumed. Sturgis would always remember it as an amazing night. Once they arrived back in his apartment, they kissed wildly until, with reckless abandon, Sturgis picked her up and carried her to the bed.
And so it was, that some time later, Sandra began not to feel so well, especially in the mornings. Sturgis felt his entire world stop as he realized what this might mean.
"I'm pregnant." The results of that night were all too real.
Upon actually hearing the words, Sturgis collapsed to his knees. He truly had no idea that such intense feelings could bombard him all at once.
Fatherhood. Oh Merlin. He was going to be a father. He, Sturgis Podmore, Hogwarts dropout. He, Sturgis Podmore, who had almost gone to Azkaban because he'd been so enormously, exceedingly stupid. He, Sturgis Podmore, who didn't know a damn thing about how to be a good father. He knew the rush of hexes and curses, the smell of blood, the taste of Polyjuice Potion, the stillness of being on guard while on a stakeout, watching for Death Eater activity. He knew the grief of loss and the feelings of despair that sank unrelenting claws into him as cemeteries were filled with the sobs of grieving, stricken souls as they buried loved ones.
How was he supposed to be a role model for a brand new person? He knew how to cast spells, not change nappies. He knew how to clean up after a battle, not how to clean up after a baby. How could he ever be trusted to be anyone's father?
Sandra was shocked at his explosive reaction. Taken aback, she tried to be there for him as he babbled about how he couldn't be trusted and how he would let the child down. "I can't do this. I can't be a father."
Though she knew about his teenage years, she obviously didn't know the magical component of them. She put her arms around him, attempting to soothe him with reassuring words and sweet kisses. "You're going to be the best father," she told him gently. "You're not the person you were as a teenager."
But how could he do it? He thought of James Potter and Frank Longbottom, two Aurors who had been fathers, and felt sick to his stomach. Even if he ended up being a good father ... what if something happened to him? What if he left Sandra alone with the child and ... and ... and ...
It was something he'd never imagined. "Father" was never on the list of things he'd planned. He'd made so many mistakes - what if he failed this child spectacularly?
But as Sandra held him for many minutes while he wept, a strong resolve grew within him. It burned in his heart, making it expand with so much love that it took over every atom, every cell, every particle of his body.
The prospect of being a father was truly terrifying, and he was more scared than he had ever been - going against the worst of the Death Eaters didn't scare him even a quarter of this much. But wasn't it up to him to get past his fear? Maybe he hadn't planned to be a father - but didn't he owe this child everything?
Maybe, he was finally ready for this responsibility. He knew that if he had impregnated one of his past partners, his worst fear would have come true - he wouldn't have been ready to father a child. But maybe, this had come at the right time and instead of being scared, he should work the hardest he ever had in his life to fulfil his responsibility towards someone who would need him.
And it was peacetime, wasn't it? Voldemort and the Death Eaters were at bay, and he didn't have to fear leaving his girlfriend and child forever. But didn't Dumbledore say ... didn't he, Sturgis, believe ... that it was only a matter of time before war returned to the wizarding world? Merlin, Sandra and their child would be in so much danger ...
But this was how things were. He couldn't let his own mind be used as a weapon against him. If he let the fear take over, it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy that he'd be a horrible father.
So, he realized what his new purpose in life was. With the help of the people he most cared about in the world, including his parents and Kingsley, he embarked on a new journey. As the day grew closer, his heart only expanded further. He didn't think one heart could contain so much emotion, so much feeling. It was nothing he'd ever experienced before.
He was there for Sandra during the times she was hormonal. He loved her through all of it - through her mood swings, during the strange cravings she experienced. He held her while she cried and spoke of her own fears about being a mother.
But always, at the back of everything, was Sturgis's career. Although she still accepted his mysterious job, he could see the questions in her eyes. The looks she gave him only grew more pronounced as the months passed. He was able to passify her by inventing some stories, but he was lying to her. Whenever she accepted one of his fabrications, it made the guilt churn inside of him. He would often wonder how wizards' relationships with Muggles ever survived the lies. Wasn't honesty one of the most important things in a relationship? How could you have trust if one of the people involved was endlessly lying?
Then, the day Benjamin was born, Sturgis forgot everything else and basked in the complete euphoria of holding him for the first time. Tears of love and joy streamed down his face as he stared at the miracle in his arms. Benjamin was his strength, his heart, his soul, his reason to get up when bad memories drowned him. He was his inspiration, his motivation. The world became crystal clear to him for the first time in his life, and as he spoke the name "Benjamin" with a reverent tone that he had never used before, he knew that every single second of his life had been worth it, to reach this moment. People talked about religious, holy experiences, and if this was what one was like, then Sturgis suddenly understood what they meant.
Navigating the days after Benjamin's birth was an adventure. Every time Sturgis looked at him, he'd become breathless with awe and wonder as he devoted all his free time to taking care of him. He still continued to work as an Auror, and it was honestly the first time in his life that he'd ever had any second thoughts about it. But he knew it was his duty to earn money for their little family, which would also be taking care of Ben. Although there were barely any more overnight missions, he specifically asked his boss to keep him off of any such assignments if one just happened to come up. Knowing that Sturgis was one of the best Aurors, he agreed, although he wasn't too happy about it - but Sturgis was past caring.
Unfortunately, as the first few months of his new role as a father passed, his relationship with Sandra began to turn sour. It was something he'd feared ever since they first grew serious, and it was now happening - the constant interrogations about his work. What he had feared had come to pass - his mysterious job was now causing problems, and the thing was, he could understand why perfectly. They were now parents, and she was endlessly frustrated with his constant secrecy.
Sturgis didn't know what to do. If he broke the Statute of Secrecy, he'd be no good to their child. He'd be spending the rest of his life in Azkaban, while she'd have her memory modified. What false memory would be implanted? The Obliviators would have to give her something, because after all, babies didn't really come from storks, did they?
Sturgis knew that the only other way he could tell Sandra about the magical world was when the time came that the child displayed accidental magic. A baby could display it as soon as six months old, but most children didn't show it that early. As he and Sandra began to argue more frequently, he grew more and more desperate as to what he should do.
Because if their relationship failed, how often would he be able to see his son? He imagined a future of custody battles and his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest. And ... and he loved Sandra, loved her intensely and fiercely. Why should their relationship end over some rule that he wanted nothing more than to break?
"Will you marry me?"
It was an impulsive, reckless decision, one that he would come to intensely regret. As he got on his knees before her, he was almost positive that she was going to say no. Why should she say yes, when they couldn't seem to go a day without bickering at each other?
But he'd made it special. He'd made it romantic. He'd reminded her of every reason she fell in love with him in the first place. And, most importantly, he'd promised her that once the wedding was over, he would tell her everything.
It was a whirlwind wedding. He was lucky that she didn't want a grand affair. It didn't take long to plan, unlike many other weddings that took years. Her parents were grudgingly accepting, but Sturgis knew they thought she could do a lot better. His heart ached at the rather resentful expression Sandra's father wore as he walked her down the aisle toward Sturgis. Kingsley was Sturgis's best man, endlessly patient and supportive, and Sturgis couldn't be more grateful.
If he'd had any inkling of what would happen next, he'd have never asked her to marry him. He had no idea that today - Sunday, March 17, 1985 - was the day that his world would crumble at the seams.
It had only been a day since the wedding, and Sturgis knew that tonight was the night. Tonight, after Benjamin had gone to bed and was fast asleep, Sturgis would sit Sandra down and tell her everything. No more secrets. No more lies.
The question was, however - how would she take it? He felt his heart speed up at the fears and worries that bombarded him. Once again, his mind was turning against him.
But he instantly snapped out of it when he heard Benjamin's cry. Apparently, he was wide awake. Sturgis would not allow fear to rule him - he needed to go and take care of his boy.
Sandra was in the living room reading a book. Sturgis knew she was exhausted, so he quietly walked in and said, "Don't worry. I'll tend to Ben."
"Are you sure?" Sandra asked.
"I'm sure." Sturgis gave her a quick peck on the lips as he walked out of the room and went into Benjamin's nursery.
As he picked him up, he knew that he was never quite going to get used to this. He still felt overwhelmed every time he saw his son's face. Within seconds, Ben stopped crying and went quiet as Sturgis simply basked in the moment.
There were many toys in the nursery. They were all Muggle, of course, and Sturgis ached for the day that he could show him some wizarding ones. Still, the way Ben's eyes lit up at the simplest thing made Sturgis unbelievably happy.
He was so engrossed in staring at Benjamin that he didn't hear Sandra coming up the stairs. He didn't know that she was standing right outside the door, looking in on father and son with a smile on her face.
At that precise moment, Ben's eyes looked around the room, landing on one of the toys on the shelf. It was his favorite - a dog that sang tunes if its paw was pressed.
"Would you like me to get Doggie off the shelf for you?" Sturgis asked in that high-pitched voice that parents always used with babies.
It was very sudden. In response, the toy dog flew off the shelf, right into Benjamin's waiting hand.
The delighted squeal that came out of him was the sweetest sound Sturgis had ever heard.
It was a miracle. Six and a half months. Benjamin Podmore had displayed his first sign of accidental magic at six and a half months. It was known to happen, but it was honestly pretty rare.
Sturgis's smile was so wide that it could have stretched across the entire sky. "Oh Merlin," he breathed as he peppered Benjamin's face with kisses. "You did it! You did ... magic!"
But then, the moment was broken by a horrific, loud, shrill scream that came from the doorway.
And Sturgis was frozen in horror as he turned to meet his wife of one day, Sandra's, absolutely horrified eyes.
"Who," she said in a voice that froze the blood in Sturgis's veins, "are you?"
Ben started wailing, the joy he had been displaying moments before gone in the face of his mother's distress. "I ... I can ... I can explain," Sturgis stuttered out, his entire body feeling ice-cold, all the air having been sucked out of his lungs.
"What did our son just do?" Sandra's voice was rising in pitch, becoming shrill and hysterical. "What ... what ..."
"Please!" Sturgis cried out, completely out of his depth. "Please, calm down! Come into the living room ... I'll explain everything." He picked up a sobbing Benjamin, holding him protectively to his chest.
As an Auror, Sturgis had had it drilled into his head to keep his wand on him at all times. He always adhered to it, even in peacetime - nothing was more important. Having learned some of the strongest wards and charms, he'd cast them on his wand so it was not visible to any Muggle. He certainly didn't want her discovering it, after all. Even if he allowed it to look like a normal stick, how was he supposed to tell her why he was always carrying that around?
But as he held Ben in the living room and a panting, gasping Sandra sat down beside him, he undid the wards on it. No more secrets. No more lies.
And it was then that Sturgis finally revealed everything - the wizarding world, Hogwarts, the Statute of Secrecy, his job as an Auror, the war, and Benjamin's special gifts. Sandra sat with her mouth wide open, her eyes bulging. His heart sank lower and lower as she looked more and more like she was ready to explode.
And when she stared at him with abject terror in her eyes, Sturgis Podmore knew what it was like to break.
"You lied to me." Her voice was soft, dangerous. "You deceived me. All this time, you've been part of some ... some cult. And now you want to bring our son up in the same way. You and your ... your Satanic demon powers."
"Sandra, it's not a cult." Sturgis tried to keep his voice level. Ben was whimpering, a sign he knew his parents were agitated.
"You bask in deception and lies. All of this has been a sham from the beginning. Do you know what my parents would do to people like you?" The look in her eyes was so unhinged at that moment that Sturgis felt horror sweep over him.
"Are we not worth the truth? Just because I don't possess your ... your gift ..." She spat the last word, "you think it okay to play God? This is worse than being told you were having an affair behind my back the whole time ..."
"I'd NEVER do that to you." Sturgis's response was immediate.
Sandra sneered. "Oh, but you'd do worse. And now our son is ... is infected with this sickness."
A horrible, frightening, resolute look crossed her face. "I'm taking our son." Her eyes were mad slits. "I'm taking our son, and I'm going to stamp the magic out of him. Humans aren't meant to have powers like that - it's wrong and unnatural. And if I can't get it out of him ..." Her eyes glinted. "There is only one God in this world, and He will forgive me," she ranted.
And it was right then and there that any love Sturgis had towards Sandra transformed into a blistering, ugly hate that made him lose all sense, all rationale. He'd heard of the rare Muggle-born who was on the list for Hogwarts but, somehow, never showed up. Their names also disappeared from the registry, as if they had never been there at all. Things like that were very rarely talked about in the magical world - the Ministry and Hogwarts hushed it up, like it didn't exist, like it didn't matter. Any talk of it would only reinforce the Death Eater ideology or make witches and wizards even more afraid of Muggles.
But Sturgis knew. He'd always been good at eavesdropping. He'd heard McGonagall and Flitwick discussing it once, when they thought no one would hear them.
Because yes, accidental magic could work to save someone's life, especially a child's, when it was in danger. But there was absolutely no guarantee that it would work every single time.
Sturgis had his wand raised at Sandra before he could even think about what he was doing. Ben was wailing and all Sturgis could see was his face as Sandra did Merlin-knows-what to him ...
"STUPEFY!"
Looking back at this moment, Sturgis didn't know how he hadn't cast something much, much worse. Because all his protective instincts had flared up. He knew, from the first moment he'd held Benjamin, that he would die for him. But ... but he would kill for him, too.
But somehow, he had still had the fortitude to think at that moment. Maybe it was because he had loved her that he didn't completely eliminate her from the world at that moment. Sandra's eyes rolled back in her head, and she collapsed.
Sturgis didn't really recall the next five minutes. All he could think was that he must have called the Aurors because the next thing he knew, several of his colleagues were in his living room, along with several Obliviators.
Kingsley was speaking to him, but he couldn't hear anything his best friend was saying. He had his hand on Sturgis's shoulder, but he could barely feel it.
xxx
"Sturgis?"
It was over ten years later and his best friend once again had his hand on Sturgis's shoulder as he came out of the terrible, life-changing memory.
They'd done their work on her. Sturgis had told the Aurors what she'd threatened to do, and the Obliviators had done their work.
They'd modified her memory. She remembered him, remembered their relationship.
But she didn't remember anything about the magical world.
And they'd made her think that Sturgis and Benjamin had both died in a horrible accident, and planted an urge in her mind to disappear to another country in order to get away from the grief and horror of it all.
They'd had to do it that way because how could they possibly find every single person in Sandra's life who knew about Benjamin, and take away their memories?
And Sturgis knew that with that decision, the Obliviators were making Sandra grieve horrific loss. Sturgis was a man who knew he could live through anything - anything at all. But he knew that the one thing that could utterly destroy everything he had built, everything he was as a human being, was losing his son.
And because of the magical world, Sandra had gone through that very scenario.
But there was one thing about the entire ordeal that always struck Sturgis, every single time. The fact was, he didn't feel guilty over what the Obliviators had done, and that was for one reason alone.
Sandra had wanted their son dead. And now, she knew precisely what it was like.
There were many things Sturgis Podmore had imagined about fatherhood, from changing nappies to weathering temper tantrums to shopping for school supplies to watching his son board the Hogwarts Express to teenage rebellion.
But there was something else about fatherhood that he had discovered, something that broke him but also made him realize what lengths he was willing to go because he loved his little boy.
"Kingsley," Sturgis whispered as he allowed the man to embrace him. "It will always be worth committing the worst moral sins, just to protect Benjamin."
"But it's also why you feel the way you do about Memory Charms," Kingsley murmured.
"Because I know I should feel guilty for what happened to her," Sturgis replied quietly. "But I don't. At all." He looked up, his blue eyes blazing with intensity.
"And that's why our relationship with Muggles needs to change," he stated resolutely. "So that such a thing never happens again."
He saw Petunia's foul face in his mind again, and heard her vile words. For an instant, he had been back in 1985 and was ready to call the Aurors again, who would call the Obliviators.
But there had been members of the Order with him this time, and they wouldn't have called the Aurors or the Obliviators. Petunia, after all, had known about the wizarding world for years, and had played a pivotal role (not that she'd wanted any part of it) in bringing up their savior, as shitty and as revolting a job as she had done. They wouldn't take her memories from her.
Sturgis closed his eyes, and Harry rose into his mind - a young boy who had been through so much, but a boy who still found the resolve and strength within himself to fight his demons and defend himself against the Dark Arts. He had risen above the cruel treatment of his family, and was now where he belonged.
Sturgis understood how such burning, deep love could turn into frothing, blistering hatred. Once upon a time, Sturgis had loved a woman named Sandra with his entire heart. But now ...
"I don't want any more families to be torn apart," Sturgis said softly. "The Muggle world and the magical world need to become one again, no matter what it takes."
He looked again at Kingsley, the friend who had always been there for him, the friend who'd seen him through the worst mistake of his life - when he dropped out of Hogwarts. Kingsley Shacklebolt had never faltered.
In those blurry, awful, surreal moments after the Obliviators had left, taking Sandra with them, Sturgis had collapsed to his knees in profound, debilitating grief, and Kingsley had been there. Sturgis had felt like he could never get up again. How could he go on? How could he possibly face another day?
But it had been Kingsley's words that had brought him back. "Ben needs you now." His voice was gentle but stern, the same way it was all these years later. "You have to go on - for him."
And Sturgis knew Kingsley was right. Benjamin needed him. If he couldn't have his mother - well, that meant that Sturgis would need to be his everything.
"Kingsley?" Sturgis knew he sounded vulnerable when he spoke, but he was past caring. If anyone had shown him that it was okay to fall apart sometimes, it was Kingsley.
"Yes?" Kingsley asked, smiling softly at his friend.
"Thank you for being my friend," Sturgis said sincerely, meaning every word. "Thank you for everything."
Kingsley smiled back, squeezing Sturgis's shoulder. "Anytime."