'Ka-ka-shi...'

"RIN..."

Kakashi shot up, sitting straight up on the hospital bed. An excruciating pain shot on left side of his brain making him groan painfully. His head felt clouded and heavy. He blinked furiously, trying to get rid of the images of Rin dying by his hand, her shocked face when his hand pierced her chest; only to be blinded by the bright white light. He groaned and squeezed his eyes shut. Eventually the images faded into a calm darkness.

He could hear faint sounds as his breathing came down to normal, but it was difficult to recognize them. Where was he? Something was beeping beside him... He heard loud barks as he adjusted his eyes to the room. He was in the hospital and Kishi's dog, Momo was barking for some reason. He must have startled the dog when he woke up. He searched the room for any other presence, but he was alone with the hound.

"Calm down, Momo... We are in the hospital..."

The hound complied and walked near his bed, setting its head beside Kakashi's lap. Momo started wagging his tail as Kakashi gave him pets. Kakashi was sure he would be scolded for bringing a dog in hospital and above all causing ruckus, but he himself was to blame for startling the poor thing.

As if reading his mind, the big brown dog shifted his head, walked towards the open window, through which the evening sun was pouring the dust particles, and gave a small woof before jumping outside the window.

As Momo left, the memories of his last mission flooded back to Kakashi's mind, filling his heart with the same pain he felt moments ago in his head. It was hurting, painfully so... but he was not able to point out exactly where. He clutched his shirt, as the pain in his heart grew in intensity and tears pooled in his eyes.

Obito had trusted him with one simple task of protecting Rin, and he had failed him once again. He didn't deserved to be saved by Obito that day...

Kakashi felt worthless and useless. He had trained and excelled in every skills needed for a shinobi, he had even followed the rules, each one of them enlisted in the book, but still he had failed. Years of hard work felt as if it was nothing but waste of time. What was the worth of his skills if he couldn't save his people...

Obito, Rin and Minato sensei and Kushina san were the only people to whom Kakashi had unknowingly and reluctantly opened up to. And he was the cause two of them were dead...

He let the tears fall, pouring his sadness, anger, frustration and guilt through them. He wanted to be empty of this pain and suffering, but it only increased as he let it all out...

Kakashi didn't know for how long had he been crying, but it was night for sure. The window, through which Momo had exited, now welcomed the cool night breeze that gently ruffled Kakashi's silver hair as he sat on the hospital bed leaning against the wall, starring into space. The tears had stopped now but his mind was still too restless.

His father had saved his comrades and was considered as a disgrace...he, on the other hand had killed both of his comrades so that he can lift the shameful tag, and yet was a disgrace himself. There was nothing he could have done to save Obito and convinced himself to live on so that he could carry on Obito's last wishes...but how was he supposed live now, with all this guilt...This must be the reason why a shinobi must never be emotional...for the greater good perhaps...

His thoughts were interrupted as he heard a light tap on the window sill. He saw Kishi sitting on the edge, her back facing the room as she stared at the moonless starry night sky.

Kishi was training, destroying the wooden posts to be precise, when Momo informed her that Kakashi was awake. It was 2 days since Rin's death and Kakashi was still knocked out. If only she had reached them a little sooner... She shook this thought out of her mind for the n-th time in 2 days. Missions were unpredictable, she was aware but the loss of a friend, who had taught her to trust, to have faith, was forcing her to blame herself.

The reason for Rin's abduction was still unclear, so was the identity of the third scent she caught on the scene because of Kakashi's condition. But now that he was awake, how could she barge in and expect answers, while he was still grieving. How can she ask him to relive such a painful memory, when she was herself at fault. He had went ahead, alone to save Rin, hoping for a backup if needed. But her team had failed him. She had failed him... and Rin as well.

Debating internally, whether to go see him or not, Kishi finally decided to visit him at night, hoping that he would be asleep. It was past midnight, as she jumped on the nearby branch, she saw Kakashi's defeated demeanor staring into nothingness. She sighed and landed on the window sill, avoiding eye contact, gazing at the starry sky.

It was stupid of her to think that Kakashi would be sleeping, after such an incident. Stupid indeed... She sighed lightly. The calm night breeze didn't help her restless mind, yet she kept quiet, gathering her thoughts.

Kakashi knew Rin had somehow become close to Kishi and was sure that Kishi would come to him asking about the mission. That's why she had Momo wait in the hospital afterall. Kakashi snapped out of his trance when Kishi sat in the window. He braced himself to tell her about the mission mentally preparing to keep his emotions under control for when she would ask. But she stayed quiet for a long time. He had no clue what was going on in her mind. It seemed to be hours before she finally spoke.

"I was on the reinforcement unit sent to help and retrieve you two..." she trailed off

Agony gripped at Kakashi's heart. She had seen how brutually Rin was murdered by him. He looked at her, wondering how come she had not hit him for letting Rin die so miserably. But again she didn't knew yet that he had killed Rin, she would definitely let her rage out on him once she knew.

"When we reached the clearing, all the enemy shinobi were brutally killed... just like Rin..."Kishi continued, adding the last part barely a whisper, but Kakashi had not missed it.

"There was someone else there, the scent was different yet familiar... Do you remember someone else there? It can't be enemy, because the dead shinobis had the same faint smell over their bodies and so did Rin. Why would someone kill her and then the Kiri nin?"

"Kishi...", Kakashi's voice was filled with agony, "I... killed her..."He didn't recognize the voice that left his own lips.

Kishi turned towards him. A pair of life-less mismatched eyes met hers for a moment. He ducked his head, closing the sharingan. He did not want to remember that pained look on Kishi's face when he would tell her everything. He won't be able to handle that memory along with Rin's final words.

"The Kiri had sealed three tailed beast inside Rin and were planning to release it when Rin would reach the village. It would have wiped out the village for sure. Rin was begging me the entire way home to kill her before we reach the village" His voice started to tremble now. " I refused straight away...how could I kill her? I was trying to calm her, I tried telling her we could figure out a way once we get here, but she didn't listen... Then we were attacked by the Kiri shinobis... I activated my chidori for the enemy and... just when I... was about to hit one of the enemy nin...Rin jumped in font of him...I didn't mean to hit her...I didn't...I am sorry Kishi... I am so sorry..." Kakashi finished as he felt a similar pain in his chest. He didn't cry, for there were no tears left inside him. He glanced at Kishi, who was still facing outside the window.

"I fainted after that, we were still surrounded by enemy when I lost consciousness. And I didn't see anyone there who would help us or eliminate the enemy... I am sorry Kishi... I could not protect her..."

The room was filled with unbearable silence. Kakashi had braced himself for attack he thought Kishi would initiate. He desperately wanted to be punished for what he had done, but was disappointed when the painful silence continued.

"Kishi...I-"

"Don't get ahead of yourself Kakashi...don't act like you are some one great to pass down death to a brave Konoha shinobi like Rin..." Kishi's voice was calm yet bloody cold, dripping with malice as see glared at Kakashi, her violet eyes dark with rage.

A cold shiver ran down his spine, but what shocked him the most were her next words.

"Don't apologize as if you pity her. Death was her choice. She killed herself. She chose the life of her beloved villagers, family and friends over her own. And she deserves to be treated as a damm Hero... and not like a pathetic weakling who needed to be protected. So you better not disrespect her decision by saying that you killed her."

Kakashi was shocked. He didn't know what to say or think. He was truly useless as a shinobi. How could he be so stupid to disdain Rin's sacrifice. Oh how he loathed himself... But deep down he was dying to hear these words. He desperately wanted someone to assure him that it was not his fault, that all of this was just a horrible, horrible accident. Her words, even though harsh, had somehow manage to bring tears to his already dried empty eyes as he realized she didn't blame him, although he was to blame.

Kishi was furious with rage, she didn't want to be mean but his pathetic apology was too much to listen quietly. She calmed herself down once her anger was out. She remained silent for sometime and spoke up.

"We failed her Kakashi, the entire village had failed her... We made her think we could not be able to protect the village from a major attack without her sacrifice... but the least we could do now is to be grateful to her."

He saw her sad eyes fixed on the horizon, as the dawn decided to colour the sky, promising to bring a new hope and when he turned to the window, she was long gone...