It had been...
13 months and 9 days... since Kishi left the village.
6 months and 5 days... since the Kyuubi attack on the village.
5 months and 21 days... since Kakashi joined the root on Danzo's 'request'.
And 1 day since Kakashi foiled Danzo's plan to kill Sandaime.
An hour ago, Kakashi was with Sandaime on the roof of Hokage tower. He had decided to resign from Anbu as well but Hokage had declined his resignation and ordered him to resume his duty as an Anbu.
Kakashi had once again made a wrong decision. He almost betrayed Sandaime, even if his sensei had trusted the man. It felt like he owe an apology to his sensei, so he was standing at the platform of the cemetery, in front of the stone where his sensei's name was carved. He searched for name and once done, looked for Kushina's, which was right next to his sensei's.
For last six months, Kakashi could not bring himself, to visit the village hospital, or at least the maternity zone, where Yondaime's son and Kyubi jinchuriki, Naruto , was kept to. Kushina surely would have been happy to see Kakashi looking out for Naruto... But Kakashi just couldn't...
He, so far, had done nothing but wrong things and made worst decisions possible and risked lives that were precious to him. He was simply afraid of making the same mistake with the child. No one, that was close to Kakashi was alive... except for her... and he wasn't even sure about it. After Minato's death, he often found himself wondering about Kishi... their last conversation...
"...this... might be our last meet..." she had said.
Had he missed what Kishi was trying to tell him..? Was she okay..? Kakashi had worried over these thoughts for months now, but he liked to think she was okay. However that didn't help ease his mind. The only thing he could do now was wonder...
He shook his head and pushed those thoughts aside. He was here for apology, he reminded himself and promised Kushina san that he would soon visit Naruto as well. On his way out he passed Rin's grave. He didn't need to look for her name to recognize it. He would never forget what he had done to her. But he didn't stop to meet her. It would only make him see those horrible memories all over again, remind him of his blood stained hands...
"Death was her choice..."
He stopped and glanced at his right hand. He first remembered the blood that tainted it but then recalled Kishi's content smile as she snuggled into it... He had killed her closest friend with this same hand and yet she held onto it...
Despair...It was all he felt...
Was Kishi really not going to meet him ever again? Was that evening their last? Was an apology even enough for his deeds..? and the never ending cycle of thoughts continued in his mind as he absently walked the streets. This was his daily routine for last six months.
He glanced at the hospital building, that could be seen from the bridge. He was assigned the guarding duty at hospital ,for Naruto, by Hokage himself, after declining his resignation, at 7 o' clock. He had three hours before duty and would be glad to work as soon as possible, to keep himself busy. Work kept his mind from wandering around the unbearable thoughts. So headed straight to the hospital...
.
Kakashi hated those blinding white walls. He kept his head down as he made his way towards maternity zone. The only room that stood out in the entire hospital was the one where babies were kept until their mothers recover, in serious cases. The room had colorful walls with so many cradles and a few toys. The only lively room with carefree laughter, cries in here would never depressed anyone. That was where Naruto was kept. He was sleeping peacefully. Kakashi didn't dare looking twice, instead he searched for a corner to stand at guard. The Anbu on duty didn't bother to question, instead simply nodded.
Kakashi stood in shadows thinking about the painful life that waited for the kid. Sakumo Hatake never let the absence of his mother trouble him. He was always with Kakashi in childhood. He didn't remember his mother but his dad always told him that she had loved him dearly. And Kakashi had believed it. But who would tell that to Naruto? At some point he will ask question that were not to be answered, and he would wonder why...
Had Kishi ever wondered that? She never saw her parents, didn't knew their names except the clan she belonged to. She didn't even had their pictures. Was that how she suffered? Is that how Naruto would suffer?
Kakashi focused... He was on duty, he could not afford to zone out now. Instead he watched the visitors that stopped by to see their babies, guessing which one was whose. After a few guesses, something caught his attention. A certain lady with rather unfamiliar outfit stood outside the glass window, watching Naruto. He was sure she was looking at Naruto, as if she knew exactly who he was. She didn't look like a threat but her intense gaze was unsettling. Besides one can never be too careful, so he walked towards her.
As he got closer to her, she seemed, somehow, familiar...but he could not point out why. She looked young. She shifted ever so slightly, as if in defense, as he approached and faced him as he stood beside her. He saw an emotion pass through those eyes, only for a fraction of second and then it was gone.
"Miss, can I help you?"
She seemed surprised at first and then her face came alive with an amused expression.
"No...none at all..."
"Are you related to any of the kids here?"
"No..."
The lady seemed more excited and amused as he continued to question.
"I am sorry... but you need to state your reason for being here..."
"Well..."
"Identify yourself" Kakashi demanded, after waiting for her to answer.
"I am afraid that is classified information and I am in no position to disclose that... So if you just excuse me.." She started to leave but Kakashi blocked her.
"Very well then... If you don't identify yourself right now I will have to take you to Hokage"
The excitement was evident in her eyes and she agreed almost instantly. And that was what made it fishy, according to Kakashi. Instead of taking her out through front entrance, they exited the hospital through backside.
They evening sun reflected through her eyes, that glinted violet in sun for a second before she closed her eyes and turned away. Kakashi still could not point out why her chakra felt familiar.
They were almost at the Hokage tower when they ran into Tokuma. He walked straight to them and blocked their way as he smiled at the lady before turning to Kakashi.
"We need to meet Sandaime sama immediately...so if you could just excuse us" She spoke up before Kakashi.
"What's the hurry..." Tokuma asked "I just heard from Hokage sama that you returned today in the morning... Long time no see.. "
The lady looked tensed, as if she had been caught red handed. Kakashi was about to ask Tokuma but the lady was fast.
"It certainly has been..." She smiled.
"So you know her? Who is she?" Kakashi asked.
Tokuma was visibly confused "Of course I know her... Where are you two going?"
"Why don't you tag along and find out." The girl was certainly enjoying herself very much. She was bold enough to giggle on their way, as the three of them were climbing the stairs. Tokuma sure looked like he knew what was going on. And that was enough to trouble Kakashi. He was certainly missing out something.
Finally they reached the office door and opened it. Tokuma entered first and the lady followed. The moment Kakashi entered the room, he froze.
There, in front of him, stood a large man with long spiky-white hair facing him as Kakashi entered. Answers to the questions he had asked her popped up in his mind.
With wide eyes he turned to the lady. "You...!But-"
And she burst out laughing. "Of course its me" She loosened the knot of the hat, that had a mask attached to it. It gave her a look of lady older than her actual age. But as the hat came off, along with the mask, Kakashi recognized the face at once. He recalled the faint violet glint of her eyes.
"Kishi..." But Kakashi's voice was lost over the laughter of Kishi. Kakashi recalled his thoughts from the hospital. Kishi had never asked anyone about her parents, as far as he knew. Had she been lonely. And yet , here she was laughing at the silliest thing. 'How long are you going to hide it Kishi? How long are you going to suffer alone?'
"That was definitely fun..." Kishi said controlling her laughter. "Gomen... Hokage sama. I didn't tell him who I was and insisted to only reveal in front you. Although, I was sure he would catch me even before reaching here"
Sandaime simply chuckled and let them leave.
Once outside the office, Kakashi pouted , "It wasn't that funny...", as they started walking down towards the exit.
Kishi giggled " Ohh... You are just sulking because you fell for that. Admit it that was some really good disguise now, wasn't it..."
"It was a bit too suspicious, you looked like an old lady who seemed surprisingly young. Disguise is to hide yourself not to stand out.." Kakashi answered with an cheeky smirk.
"That was because it wasn't complete, I got rid of those annoying long skirts as soon as I reached here... It wasn't even complete and yet you fell for it. Heh!"
They left the hokage building and were just outside when Kakashi halted."Kishi..."
Kishi had walked ahead, she turned.
"I am glad you are back... so glad..." He slowly reached her and rested his right hand on her cheek, cupping it. "Okaeri.."
The sudden touch startled her. The closed eyed smile he gave told Kishi how relieved he was.
"Gomen... I made you worry..." She held his hand and leaned on his warm hand. He had remembered her and kept thinking about her. It didn't matter if he had thought about her everyday or only once in the entire last year. Maybe that's why she got back. Maybe that's the reason she survived through that horrible incident, maybe she got back up because of him, she had to return, maybe...
Whatever the reason, he didn't let go and that, she believed, had saved her. And that was her home, her returning place...