Never too Serious 8 - (DCverse, SI)
Mayor Hardy got hit. Hard.
The first cannon shot came from the media. After all, one can easily bribe the cops if there's a legit investigation unfolding within the bowels of GCPD, but they can't do the same with too many tabloids aimed at them and hitting all at once.
As the first salvo struck and the Mayor was forced to rebuke the harsh accusations of him being a puppet for the Falcone Family, the public uproar allowed for Jim Gordon to start a serious investigation on the matter and, within less than two weeks, a trial was set up to get the fucker out of his high chair.
Politics were getting rocked, while I enjoyed the wonderful days getting more robberies happening at the expense of the Falcone family, and then spending some time with the Silverlocks. After a most lovely dinner spent together, things started to pick up between Sybil and I. Not much to say we were dating, but we were growing quite friendly with one another.
To the point that I used a good amount of unused money with my gang to organize a huge 'beach event'.
After a rapid clean up to grant little Olive a pleasant-looking beach to play at without risking her feet getting cut by some random broken glass around, the 'charity organization' I was in charge off was soon enjoying the day with each other and their loved ones. All was paid by yours truly in a 'rare' case of 'taking a full work break' for a day.
Propaganda at its finest, but also another ploy to get any 'Red Masked' fellow to not think bad of me. Olive was soon playing with some of the kids around, most of which were quite poor up to a few months ago before I gave their parents jobs, and I was spending most of the day chilling by the towel with Sybil beside me.
For adults... the best way to waste time at the beach was to rest. You, your buddy, the sun, lots of chatting, and a chance to enjoy the tasteful choice the woman had for swimsuits.
"You're looking."
I rolled my eyes behind my sunglasses. "Can't help it. You're gorgeous."
Instead of blushing, the woman chuckled and replied with a confident voice. "I know."
She got back to her book while I kept track of Live as the girl was happily scurrying around with her new friends. Some of the grunts were also joining for the fun and, overall, the day at the beach was proving to be quite the success.
That being said, however, the beautiful scenery was not the biggest and most important detail of today. Oh no, what I had not contemplated due to how well things were going was for someone to take notice of my fatherly nature and get the brilliant idea of dropping a problematic teenager in my care.
I didn't need to have a message telling me this much, it was the mere notion of finding this character already sitting over a few pizza cardboards she had ordered and... telling me that-
"You look ugly as fuck."
Which was ironic considering that one Xiomara Rojas, better known as 'Crush' or 'Lobo's Daughter', was quite the piece of work to look at.
"Well, you don't look like much either... Xiomara."
My greeting left the girl with a hint of surprise that morphed from wide-eyed shock to narrow-eyed skepticism.
"Okay, did the Red Mask guy told you that or-"
"Nah, I know of people. You just made it deep enough in the business to be known," I interrupted quietly. "I suppose he told you that you would be under the mentorship of someone like me or whatever. Let's keep it short- I am not exactly an hero, no one here is trying to think they are, but we do dirty things to help the city."
"And?" She snorted as she folded her arms by her chest. "Why should I stay?"
"You have questions. Some I can already answer, some I cannot just yet. But I am willing to uphold a deal. You do some simple tasks, nothing that puts you at odds with the legal system, and you get a temporary place where to live, food, water and answers."
Curiosity swelled in his red eyes as she walked up to me. The tense stand off was almost amusing considering I had height on her... and nothing else. Czarnians were, after all, geared to be Alien Deadpools in terms of healing factor. Lobo was literally Space-Deadpool without the Fourth-Wall jokes.
"Who is my father?"
"An asshole. And one that would kill you if he knew you are around."
"...Why?"
"He killed the rest of your kind for a high school test. He graded himself with an 'A'," I replied flatly. "I can tell you more if we get this deal through. I know you ain't quick to trust people, but if Red Hood trusted you to us, then he ain't playing about me having a chance to help you somehow."
Xiomara blinked, then bowed her head and... huffed. "Fine."
"Nah, we need to do this right and... cool. Fist bump."
She frowned at my raised fist, and then rolled her eyes again. "Ugh, boomer."
"Oh quiet you, zoomer."
A grin flashed on her face, and I then stripped it out of her face with a simple sentence.
"Your first task is to clean your mess. This is now going to be your home, the least you can do is not being a trashy-girl."
Her jaw dropped, then she pouted.
"Did I mention you are getting weekly pocket money?"
Her red eyes flashed intrigue. "How much?"
"Fifty bucks."
Nodding, the girl 'reluctantly' started to clean up the mess and even thanked the few grunts that gave her the tools to clean up the messy floor she was responsible for. While that was going to be a mild headache, there was something else that came up:
"Boss, I know this is sudden but-"
"Can we bring our kids to work and you can take care of them?"
"Please?"
...
I didn't expect my fatherly nature to be exploited in turning me into some unpaid day care.
Xiomara Rojas expected things to get a lot worse than what she got.
The bed was super comfy, she had her own tiny room in the huge warehouse, and she even had some books that the Joker gave her. If the guy was really the Joker, that is.
Like any other kid, Xiomara had heard of the infamous Clown Prince of Crime, especially since some kids back home would call her 'the Joker's Daughter' and, quite embarrisingly, she did believe at a certain point that she was indeed his daughter.
Nah, the truth that came out from speaking with the new Joker was way bitter to swallow: Lobo, the crazy Czarnian, was her father. And it was not a good day to make this discovery. She had just moved in, everything felt surreally good despite the few warnings the Red Hood had given her in regard to the 'weirdly nice' Joker.
She thought of how she ended up here; how she was found by Red Hood as she had been expected to join some 'kid hero team' and then pulled out of that initiative. Many would have felt upset at the idea of being yanked out from a superhero team, but Xiomara was not an hero.
I am not exactly an hero, no one here is trying to think they are, but we do dirty things to help the city.
The Joker's words echoed with that personal wavelength, and Xiomara huffed against her pillow as she tried to catch some rest. It's been years since she had the chance to get herself a nice comfy thing to sleep upon. And this bed reminded her so much of her time living with her adopted family.
She gave them so much grief... and now she was alone. They were killed, and she was aimless. Well, not fully aimless.
She still had to catch the bastard behind their death. And things were going to get interesting very fast the moment she had a name and a location to visit. The Joker had promised her that he would look into it through his contacts, but he also remarked how it may be a bit difficult considering it may have been a no-name bastard.
A frustrating thought, but Xiomara understood the warning.
Yet, she couldn't sleep. The bed was nice, she was supposed to feel at 'home', but she felt gutturally uneasy due to how unfamiliar the place was. She had been sleeping in some trashy places, and now that she was in a normal non-hotel bedroom... she was unable to close her eyes and catch some rest.
Not even two hours of trying and she got out of bed, took a pillow with her and planned to crash onto the lone couch in the 'lounge' of the warehouse. That had been the plan- but then she was shocked once more by finding the new Joker sitting down there with a laptop and wearing... glasses?
"...What are you doing?"
"Taxes," He flatly replied, sounding as soulless as a man could be while handling such a task. "I mean, not a honest form of it, but I don't need the IRS on our asses."
Xiomara blinked and she couldn't fault that logic despite how insane the scene looked and sounded in her mind. Sorta. She just sat on the free spot in the couch, and she fell asleep there. No questions asked, her brain just gave up for that first day and... she woke up with a blanket over her.
The Joker was not around, but his thugs prepped her some breakfast to eat together with the rest. Hardly anyone paid her any attention, and those that did glance at her was out of curiosity and... that was it. She heard that Gotham had seen its fair share of unusual people but...
It felt incredibly weird that she wasn't being called out for being an odd girl. Quite weird.
AN
So, the plot here has gone a bit slow, but next time will see two big events that will be shown in two different non-Joker POVs. And in each of those events, the Joker is here to 'steal the show' (and some cash too).