Summer's a knife

August

It is early evening and John and Hero walk through the aisles of the local supermarket.

"You are not putting a jar of ready-made pasta sauce in my basket!"

"Label says it's a traditional recipe," John reads with a straight-face and only these last weeks spent in his company allows her to see that he is messing with her.

She leans in close, whispering in his ear. "You will keep that poor imitation sauce far from my fettuccine, if you want me to perform fellatio on you later."

John's expression doesn't change but he places the jar back on the shelf and asks what other ingredients she needs. Later, after an authentic home-cooked meal that has John singing her praises, she kneels on the kitchen floor, unzipping his jeans, and then he sings her praises some more.

:-x-:

Hero splashes through the pool, giggling as John captures her in his arms and time trickles on like water droplets off their skin but neither of them notices, lost to each other and the promise of a summer that can last.

:-x-:

Hero sings as she flits around the kitchen.

Beatrice sticks her head in. "Are you baking?"

Hero smiles at her cousin's timing. "Raspberry and white chocolate cookies. I've just put them in the oven."

Beatrice wanders over to the counter and runs her finger around the rim of the mixing bowl, scooping up the dough and licking it off. "Mmm, delicious. You know… I feel like we haven't hung-out most of this summer."

"Oh…" Hero starts piling the baking utensils into the sink. "I… I guess not."

"You've been out a lot."

She focuses on the running water, not looking back at Beatrice. "The weather has been so nice."

"Hmm." Beatrice leans against the counter. "I need to get out, soak in the sun. I can't stand another day staring at my computer."

Hero takes a tentative glance over her shoulder. "How is it going?"

"Ugh!"

Hero laughs and turns off the hot water. "That well?"

"I need a break. How about a movie night tonight?"

Hero's smile deflates. "Oh no, I can't."

Beatrice arches an eyebrow, licking her fingers like a cat. "You have other plans?"

"Uh…" Hero fumbles for an excuse, plunging the measuring jug underwater. "Just meeting a friend… um… Olivia… "

Beatrice hums and crosses to her. Hero thinks she is coming to confront her but instead she picks up a towel. "I'll dry."

Hero breathes out and smiles. "You're trying to curry favour in the hopes of more cookies."

"Absolutely. You know what a cookie fiend I am."

Hero laughs and flicks some of the water at Beatrice who recoils, swotting her with the towel. "Let's spend all of tomorrow together, we can go to every bookshops and have lunch at the crepe café."

"Really?" Her cousin's brow arches. "You don't have other plans?"

Hero shakes her head. "I've missed you."

Beatrice hugs her. "I've missed you too. That would be great." She pauses, then adds, "Hero…"

"Hm?"

"It's good to hear you singing again."

Warmth soaks into her, shimmering iridescent like the bubbles in the sink, and she smiles.

:-x-:

Hero beams as soon as she sees John. "I baked cookies. Here, for you."

"Thank you." He accepts the bag and holds the door open to her. "Come in."

Hero is surprised. She thought it odd when he messaged her earlier and asked that she meet him at the Marine Aquarium, but she didn't mind the walk.

"I thought you were closed?" Hero asks as she follows him inside.

"To the public. But I have duties to finish." He smirks at her. "Thought you'd like a private tour."

Her eyes widen and she grins. "Yes!"

John leads her through the rooms, pausing to let her marvel at each tank. It has been several years since she visited the aquarium but she feels that same childish glee overtake her as she peers through the glass watching the fish, and the shrimp, and the crabs dart through the water. The lighting is low, an aquamarine glow coming from the tanks, making her feel as if she too is under the waves, swimming amongst the multitude of creatures.

John goes about his duties, checking on the marine life, sprinkling food into their tanks. His knowledge is impressive and she smiles at the passion in his voice as he talks. It is peaceful with no other visitors around. Even though they have the whole space to themselves, their bodies gravitate together, hands brushing, their fingers intertwine. Hero exhales and feels herself floating.

He takes her to the big pool where they do talks and Hero watches entranced as the seals bob to greet them, catching the food John tosses to them.

"Here," he nudges the bucket towards her. "Have a go."

She throws the food, laughing as the seals catch it, spraying water in their direction. Delight wells inside her, luminescent like the glow of the pool. She looks to John and notices him staring at her.

"What is it?"

He shakes his head. "Nothing."

They leave the seals and go to sit in the stands, the light from the tank rippling over their shadowed forms.

"These are very good," John praises her as he munches on a cookie and the rush Hero feels has nothing to do with the sugary treat.

"I wasn't sure, I know you don't like sweet things."

He gives her a look and her stomach flips. "I like some sweet things."

His fingers curl around her chin and then his mouth is on hers and Hero feels like a firework lighting up inside, like she could burn underwater.

"Did you enjoy your tour?" John asks as they walk out into the parking lot, his duties finished and the doors locked.

"Very much." She smiles at him and reaches for his hand.

He glances down at their clasped fingers then looks at her. She sees the flicker of something desperate in his gaze but it is gone before she is sure what she has seen.

"Good." He says and they walk to his car.

Hero gushes about the aquarium life as John drives, how cute and funny all the creatures were. When she notices they have stopped, she looks around and is startled.

"This… this is my street?"

She looks at John. He is facing her but his gaze is cast to the side of her. "Pedro is back."

"Oh…"

It feels too soon; the days and weeks have blurred in a blissful haze, she hadn't noticed a month slipping away as she lay in John's sheets.

"We can't use the house anymore," John continues, and there is something off about his voice. She has learnt to read the subtle shifts in his tone over the weeks, but now his voice is devoid of emotion.

"O-oh… th-that's alright, we can…" She glances out the window. "Did you want to come to my house?"

He hesitates, then shakes his head. "No. Hero… this… this summer has been… great… with you… but… we knew it couldn't last…"

Her heart is pounding. She doesn't understand. She doesn't want to understand.

John keeps speaking; compared to how he was during the tour, his speech now seems stunted, riddled with pauses. "It's time… now that we can't use my place… we'd have had to call it off soon, might as well be now."

"We don't have to use your house. We can go to mine." There is a note of pleading in her voice and she hates what it means.

He looks at her now, but as gentle as his gaze is, it holds no mercy. "Your family is there."

"They're not there all the time. Pedro won't be at yours all the time and we… we can go to other places like we have… like today and the cove and the cinema…"

"But what would be the point?" He expels, hands clenching around the steering wheel. "We spend another month sneaking around, dodging our friends and our relatives, for what? You're going back to university."

"So?"

"So, are you going to keep riding my cock until the last minute? Am I supposed to wait around here until you decide you're done with me."

Hero recoils, her face scorched. "I didn't… I didn't realise I was keeping you."

John gives a long, exhausted sigh, hands flexing around the steering wheel. He closes his eyes, bowing his head. "Look… I don't want a fight… we knew what this was… let's not pretend… it was ever more than that…"

Hero cannot process what he is saying. Part of her is still back at the aquarium, floating in the marine glow, John's hand in hers. Now she flounders like a fish on the unforgiving shore, a mouth full of brine, and the gulls circling overhead.

"If you were planning on ending things what… what was today about?"

John rakes a hand through his hair. "I… I wanted to give you something nice before…"

"Before telling me you didn't want to see me again."

John winces and she hopes he stews in his shame. Her eyes prick, her face growing uncomfortably flush. She feels blindsided, just like with Claudio. It makes her furious.

"Didn't want to try for one last fuck? I guess Pedro ruined your plans."

His gaze whips to her and she is satisfied to have forced him to look at her, to see her hurt, even as her heart twists and her stomach roils. "Hero—"

But she doesn't want to hear it. She had been passive and accepting when Claudio broke her heart, she will not do that again. She yanks open the car door, scrambling from her seat.

"Enjoy the cookies," she throws back at him and slams the door in his face.

The tears are already starting to flow and she doesn't risk a glance back, even as her heart strains to. She forces herself not to run and walks quickly towards her house. She hears a car engine start and then tires pulling away. Now she does look, but he is gone.

She barely makes it inside before the sobs are bubbling out of her throat and she crashes up the stairs. She hears Beatrice's voice calling after her. Hero flees into her room, throwing herself onto her bed and burying her face in Cedric as the tears spill from her eyes. She smells saltwater and she hates it, hates it, hates it because it reminds her of the aquarium, of John.

Beatrice comes in and, without a word, drapes herself around Hero, hugging her tight as she shudders and bawls.

"B-Beatrice…?"

Fingers comb through her hair. "Yes, love?"

"Would you… would you l-like to watch a… a movie tonight?"

Beatrice leans down, nuzzling her head against Hero's own. "That sounds like a fantastic idea."

:-x-:

Hero breaks down in the middle of the film and tells Beatrice everything. By the time she has finished, Beatrice's eyes have gone so comically wide it startles a laugh out of her.

"John Aragon?" Beatrice wheezes.

Hero nods.

"I thought there was someone but I never guessed John Aragon. Although, maybe I should have, things were getting pretty heated between you during that rounders match."

"Oh…" Hero realises she hasn't mentioned their first encounter at The Ducat. "There's more…"

Beatrice's eyes bulge as she tells her and then she is laughing. "What an exciting summer you've had, Hero. You've been off having a clandestine affair while I've been here writing papers and job applications."

Hero's smile twitches and then she sighs, sinking in on herself. "It was nothing… just a fling…"

Beatrice's expression shifts. She peers at her with those same eyes that have watched over Hero since childhood and she asks gently, "Was it nothing?"

Hero's fists curl and she scrunches her eyes shut, still raw from the tears. "He… He's an asshole! He took me to my favourite place to call things off with no warning! We could have made it work! It didn't have to end. It was good. We were good." She hugs her knees. "This is like Claudio all-over again, but worse."

"Worse?"

Hero sniffs. "I don't know…"

Beatrice regards her for a moment then squeezes her shoulder. "You know what I think is needed here… ice cream."

Beatrice returns with a tub of cookie dough ice cream and they dig in. It helps a little, but Hero wishes she could melt into a puddle and not have to feel any more.

"So — So I have a — uh — confession of my own," Beatrice stutters, catching Hero's attention. She ducks her head. "Ben and I… dated."

Hero's jaw drops.

"We're not together now," Beatrice hurries on.

"When was this?" Hero exclaims, almost knocking the ice tub over her bed.

"Um… February… just for a few months…"

"Months! How come you didn't tell me?"

"You didn't tell me about John. And I didn't see the point in telling everyone until we were sure it was going somewhere… and… and it didn't."

Hero sees immediately that Beatrice's guard is raised and she gentles her voice. "Bea… what happened between you?"

Beatrice shoves a spoonful of ice cream into her mouth and waves her hands. "It was a disaster. We knew it would be. I don't know what we were thinking. Ben treated it like a joke most of the time, saying we were going to kill each other… and we kept fighting, worse than we ever did. I ended it. He was hurt, angry, but it was better. We didn't work."

She says this last bit like she has repeated it to herself many times. This explains Ben's behaviour at the beach, why he was so fixated on goading Beatrice though she ignored him. Hero's heart goes out to them both. She wraps her arms around her cousin; Beatrice goes rigid, then slumps.

"I wish I'd known… I'm sorry you had to go through that on your own."

Beatrice smiles but Hero can see it is strained. "I'm alright, love. It was a while ago."

Hero is tempted to call her out on this obvious bullshit, but she doesn't. Instead she grasps her arm. "We haven't spent enough time with each other. Let's forget about the idiocy of men and be blithe and bonny for the rest of our summer together."

Now Beatrice gives a real smile. "I like that idea." She tucks a stand of Hero's hair behind her ear. "You know I'm always here for you, love."

Hero squeezes her hand. "I'm here for you too."