The time on the touch screen on my dash read 9 PM as I drove through the quiet, moonlit roads. The car's interior was bathed in a soft, dim glow, casting gentle shadows on Bella and the back of Anthony's car seat. She sat in the back seat, not taking her eyes off of him. The past 24 hours had been a whirlwind of emotions, but now, as we neared a hotel 45 minutes from where I picked up Bella, a sense of calm began to settle over me.
Anthony had been asleep and, therefore wasn't aware of his mother beside him. He didn't know that she was watching his tiny chest rising and falling with every breath he took, but I did. Nor did he know that when I talked to his grandmother, his mother was holding his hand. Of course not, because he was napping. My heightened senses picked up the subtle change in his breathing and my mind began filling with static.
"Bella," I called out softly to her. "He's waking up."
"Umm. Really?" Her eyes snapped to the rearview mirror. The reflection of our eyes locked for a fraction of a second, and then she went back to gazing at our son and I looked ahead at the road. "No, I don't think so, he's still…."
Her unfinished sentence hung in the air as Anthony let out a whimper. It was his way of letting me know he was waking up.
While my eyes scanned the road, my mind automatically tuned into Bella's mind. I saw the mental image of what she was seeing and I couldn't help but smile. Our baby's green eyes wandered around, looking out the rear window at unfamiliar surroundings before landing on Bella. For a moment, he blinked in disbelief, then his eyes winded in surprise. A gummy smile spread across his face and his little arms reached out towards her, as he happily kicked his legs. Her eyes locked with his as she reached over, gently stroking his cheek with the back of her hand. There were so many emotions going through Bella's mind at that moment; guilt, love, anxiety, and happiness.
"Hey there, my little man." She whispered, her voice filled with emotion. "Mommy's here."
Anthony's reaction was immediate. His earlier whimper turned into joyful coos, his tiny body wiggling with excitement. I couldn't help but laugh aloud at Bella's inner monologue of our son resembling a wiggly worm. It was funny because it was true.
Anthony squealed in delight. He was very excited to see his mother.
"Did you have a nice sleep?" She asked him.
Anthony let out a playful growl. It wasn't a response to her question, not really. Though she happily took it that way.
As I drove Bella kept up her one-sided chatter and Anthony made happy baby nosies. The bond between mother and child was something I cherished deeply, even if couldn't fully understand it. I was very baffled by Bella referring to herself as "Mommy" instead of saying "I" the way I did when I talked to our son.
"Mommy's happy to see you, Anthony." Bella was choking up as she talked in the third person to our son. 'I wonder if I should apologize to him for leaving now that he's awake. I wonder if Edward told him what I almost did.'
"No, Bella," I answered her thoughts. "It's an adult matter. One that he shouldn't even be concerned about. Therefore, there's nothing to apologize for because he's unaware of it."
"What?" Bella asked in a startled tone. Her thoughts were all jumbled up and I guessed that she forgot I could read her mind with Anthony's help.
I chuckled at her confusion. "Love, did you forget I could hear your thoughts?"
"Yeah, I kind of did." She admitted as heat rolled off of her.
I didn't need to glance in the review mirror to know that she was blushing. However, I did anyway. The light red that colored her face was incredible. Not only did it awake the beast within me, but also the man. Two things I would forever be. I liked what I saw, but tried to keep my thoughts at bay as my gaze returned to the road.
As we pulled into the parking lot of the Best Westen I found on Google, I felt a sense of relief. We needed rest. Me, not in the physical sense, but in the mental, and this place would provide a brief respite from the chaos of the previous day. I parked the car and turned around to Bella.
"What do you say about getting a room instead of driving back to Oregon tonight? You need rest and it's best to get that in a comfortable bed." I suggested, my voice gentle but firm.
"Sure but this place looks expensive. I saw a Motel 6 not too far from a McDonald's a little ways back. We should go there or to another cheap motel. Or I could just sleep in here, in the back seat while you drive. Yeah, that might be better." She said, her brown eyes held a nervous edge to them.
"This is just for sleep." I clarified. I was sure I knew what had her nervous and wanted to reassure her of my intentions. "Our son needs sleep that's not in a vehicle, and so do you. Now, what do you say about getting a room for the night?"
"Okay." She said slowly and Anthony cooed. "But let's go somewhere less extravagant. A room here probably costs as much as a down payment on a car."
I rolled my eyes. "I do not wish to take you and our baby to a cheap motel where sketchy people would be lurking about. You deserve nice things. Please, Bella, stop fighting me on this. I missed you, and I want to do right by you. Let me spend my money on you and spoil the mother of my child."
Bella blinked but did not speak. Even her thoughts were silent.
Anthony being an oblivious baby, had no idea what was going on. He started giggling, at what, I don't know. But his giggling brought attention to himself and gave me an idea.
"He's happy now," I spoke of Anthony to Bella, keeping my eyes on her. "But he won't be for long. He's been in the car since early this morning and he needs to stretch his limbs. He's also going to be thirsty and I doubt he wants to have another meal in this car, can't say I blame him. So how about it, will you be willing to let me pay for a room, here, at this fine establishment?" I've waved my arm by the window, gesturing to the hotel before us.
"I don't have anything for Anthony to sleep in; no bassinet, Pack N Play, or anything. He needs a baby bed to sleep in." She explained. Her tone was tense and her heart rate sped up. 'He could sleep in bed with us but then he'll be at risk for SIDS. He's half-human which means he could die if a blanket covers his face.'
I could have argued that she was being a bit paranoid. I could have mentioned that I would protect our child from anything. I also could have pointed out that I don't need rest. Which means he could have slept in my arms. However, I knew Bella's fear was genuine and no amount of me convincing her would cure it.
"How about I ask if they have a crib for him? If not, we'll check into a room then we could go to a store to buy him a proper bed to sleep in?" I suggested, hoping she wouldn't say no.
Bella nodded, her eyes reflecting a mixture of exhaustion and gratitude. We gathered up our belongings. I stored her backpack and the diaper bag inside the basket under the stroller, grabbed the cooler, and made our way to the hotel lobby. I told the clerk, a middle-aged woman with kind eyes, that we needed a room with a queen-size bed and a crib. She took my payment and checked my driver's license before assigning us a room. That's when she assumed aloud that Anthony (who was in the stroller Bella was pushing, and had been as still as a only a vampire could be for all of two minutes) was a reborn baby doll. She was shocked when Bella and I corrected her, saying he was a real baby and our son. She was also surprised when Bella told her his age since the woman was sure he was no more than a few days old due to his size. The truth of us being teenage parents had the woman handing me the room key with a sympathetic smile. Bella was more bothered by this interaction than I was as we neared the elevator.
"Why does everybody feel sorry when they see us and realize we're young parents with a baby?" Bella asked me once the elevator doors closed.
"I don't know, but that got me out of a ticket this morning." I stupidly said as I placed the cooler down, and pressed the button to the floor of our room.
"Edward Cullen, you were pulled over for speeding?" Bella's disapproving words echoed in the small space of the elevator.
Fear ran wildly through me as I turned around and saw the most beautiful girl in the world. She held on tightly to the handle of Anthony's stroller as her eyes shot daggers at me.
I wiped my right hand down my face. "No. It was just the opposite, I got pulled over for driving too slow. I was going 35 in a 55 MPH zone. Driving too slow. Can you believe that?"
Bella's anger turned to amusement. "Well, that's definitely a first for you." She said with a laugh and I agreed.
The elevator came to a jerky stop that had Anthony crying a bit. His unhappy mood was short-lived as I spoke softly to him, letting him know it was okay. He looked at me, listening to my every word as I fished a pacifier out of my pocket and put it in his mouth. Bella seemed very impressed by my talent for preventing our son from having a full-on crying fit. The elevator doors opened and I picked up the cooler that contained Anthony's nourishment. I moved aside, letting Bella and our content baby exit first. We walked side by side down the hall trying to find our room. Thankfully it didn't take long.
Once inside the room, I set the cooler down in the Kitchenette. Making quick work I placed the bottles in the fridge and turned to see Bella cradling Anthony in her arms as she walked around. He no longer had the pacifier in his mouth, yet he wasn't crying; his big green eyes were looking around curiously. The room was simple but clean, with a kitchenette, table and chairs, dresser and TV, a large bed, and a crib that the hotel had provided upon request. Bella's inner monologue let me know she was very grateful that the room was not an extravagant penthouse. Somehow I kept from rolling my eyes. Why must she be like this? Why was it so hard for her to accept gifts from me?
My annoyance evaporated as I watched Bella place Anthony on the bed and change him into pajamas before settling him into the crib. He was becoming fussy as he balled his hands into fists and brought them to his mouth and started sucking on one, then the other. She picked him up then and went over to an armchair. It was clear in her mind what she was going to do that would befit both of them; nurse him. Wanting to give them privacy I walked out onto the balcony. The cool air ran through my hair as a sudden wave of emotion washed over me, the past 24 hours had been a test of our strength and commitment. Not to mention, a much-needed time to bond with my son. That was something I didn't know would happen when I set out to find Bella and bring her back to us. Nevertheless, I was grateful I had been able to get to know my son as well as I did now.
Standing outside, looking out at the trees and the night sky, I did my best to block out the thoughts of my little family. I hadn't realized how successful I had been in my attempt until I heard Bella from inside the hotel room.
"Edward," She called out to me. "By any chance do you know where the book Good Night Gorilla is? I know I gave it to you the other night, but I can't seem to find it in the diaper bag. I wanted to read to him while he's drinking so he could listen to my voice. So, do you know where it is?"
"Where what is, love?" I pretended to not know what she was talking about.
'Stupid sparkly vampire. I know he heard me.' She thought in her mind and groaned aloud.
"No. Sorry, I was deep in thought and didn't hear you." I lied, taking a step inside.
Bella was still sitting on the armchair with Anthony latched on to her and a blanket covering him while he suckled. His thoughts filled me in on the fact that he didn't enjoy the breast milk as much as he did being close to his mother. She adjusted the blanket before spilling the contents of the diaper bag onto her lap. A puzzled expression was on her face as she looked up at me.
"What's the matter?" I asked, hoping she wouldn't bring up that dreadful book again.
"Do you have any idea where Good Night Gorilla might be?" She asked me slowly, her thoughts begging me not to lie. She was also very confused about why I wasn't being truthful.
On a nightstand in my room. I made sure not to bring it. I thought to myself then spoke aloud, "In my hast to get to you, I forgot it."
Bella sighed. "That's too bad. It's his favorite book. He usually won't sleep unless I read it to him a few times."
I nodded my head as I crossed the room and went to the front door. "I'll be back." I turned the knob and opened the door.
"Where are you going?" She wondered, switching Anothy to her other breast.
"To Target," I chose the store that was two blocks away. "I'm going to buy a few things, including children's books."
With that, I shut the door behind me and made my way to the elevator. I planned to buy at least 30 children's books and Good Night Gorilla was not going to be one of them.