Reid stood looking in the mirror. It was his first day back at work. Having passed the psychological evaluation, the board had approved his return on the condition that he had a weekly 'check-in' with Hotch.
Concerns had been raised by the board regarding how swiftly he was opting to return to work, but after a conversation with Reid, they determined that it was ultimately beneficial for him to return to normality as opposed to living a lonely existence in his apartment.
Reid was wearing his usual shirt and tie combination, complete with sweater vest.
He had tried to keep to his normal attire as much as possible. But realistically, a shirt, tie and vest was not necessary when the only thing he was doing was getting out of bed and staring at the wall all day. The team had been incredibly busy recently so had been far from available the way they were at the beginning.
Had anyone been made aware that is how he was spending his days, he would no doubt have been diagnosed with depression. But what people didn't know couldn't hurt them, or him.
The relief he felt upon his approval was immense. He was finally going to be able to escape the prison that had become his apartment.
That thought simultaneously pleased and terrified him.
Taking a sip of his coffee, he looked himself up and down then frowned a little. Something wasn't right. Something felt 'off'.
After messing with his tie, undoing a button on his shirt and pulling at his sweater vest, he still felt wrong.
He pulled the sweater vest off and opted for a cardigan instead. He readjusted his watch over the fabric and stood back again, questioning himself as to when his image had become such a big deal.
Nothing seemed any better. The feeling was still the same. Something wasn't right.
Just nerves, don't be so ridiculous. You've worn this exact same combination before.
It was true, he had worn it many a time and had never given it a second thought.
He looked himself in the eye fully intending to give himself a little pep talk, but haunted and empty eyes gazed back. He was hit with a shattering realisation. It wasn't the clothes. It was him that was 'off', him that was wrong.
The clothes felt wrong because they remained the same. The last time he had worn them, everything was normal. Now he was not the same. He was not 'normal'.
Looking in the mirror was like looking at a juxtaposition of Dr Spencer Reid. The old, relatively happy him and the new, dirty, tarnished him.
The body underneath didn't feel deserving of the old image. The new him was unclean and tainted. To dress it up like nothing had changed felt like a weird version of imposter syndrome.
Everyone would know that under the layers of clothing, there was a severely damaged and used person underneath. Fragile and severely compromised. Like a shiny apple with a rotten core.
He felt stupid to ever think that going back to work would signal a return to normality. The normality he craved was gone now, it no longer existed. He was going to have to find a new normal.
Things were always going to be different and just that little bit worse. He was always going to be the Agent that got raped and tortured by that Technical Analyst.
He turned away from the mirror in disgust, unable to keep looking at the charade that was his reflection.
Glancing at his watch, he realised it was finally time to leave for work and his stomach did a somersault.
He imagined walking into the bullpen and everyone staring at him like some kind of oddity. He felt a wave of heat run up his back and over his shoulder. Sweat started forming on his brow.
Breathe. Don't do this today.
He was still struggling with panic episodes and flashbacks despite his assurances to his counsellor, Hotch and the board that he wasn't. In fact, as his return to work had approached, the frequency had increased.
As much as he wanted to be back at work to feel like himself again, work was where Jason had been. His last memory of being in the office was shoving Jason to the floor and Hotch suspending him, ultimately leading to the worst experience of his life.
His hands started shaking and his vision blurred.
Stop. Stop it. Not today. Not today.
He sat down on the bed and took some deep breaths. He needed to calm down. He couldn't go into work like this. Hotch would send him home and he would be back at square one.
Putting his head between his knees he took a minute to breathe and ground himself. At times like this, he truly did miss Morgan. He would never admit it, his independence was something he had fought fiercely for. But Morgan was a calming influence and as much as he hated it, he made him feel safe.
He frequently imagined Morgan's voice telling him he was safe and talking him through breathing exercises. When things got particularly bad, he would even imagine that his hand was there grasping his tightly, keeping him grounded to the present.
Of course, it wasn't the same as actually having him there. He would often be disappointed to find himself alone once he emerged out the other side. Especially during episodes where he would be sobbing and desperate for comfort. He had never been one for craving company, but something about Morgan being constantly and unwaveringly there and then not, emphasised just how lonely his life actually was.
Counting his breaths in and out, he slowly but surely convinced his body to relax and his heart rate began to settle. A sheen of sweat was glistening on his forehead by the time he had finished and his face was left flushed, but he had managed to avert disaster.
He was thankful for small mercies at this moment, very aware of the fact that he was on the verge of being late.
Standing unsteadily, he grabbed his bag and slung it across him. Refusing to look in the mirror again, he ran a hand through his hair. It was now slightly damp from sweat. Glancing at his watch again he realised in horror that he'd actually been sat on his bed for twenty minutes and was irrevocably late.
Cursing under his breath he forced himself out of the bedroom, grabbed his keys and left the apartment.
Morgan was sat at his desk unable to focus on his paperwork but feigning interest regardless. He didn't want to make a big deal but he had come in particularly early with it being Reid's first day back in.
He had been expecting him in by now. He was always early. A late Reid was an unhappy Reid.
He glanced over his shoulder towards the glass doors but there was still no sign.
Taking a quick glance at Emily, he looked back down to his paperwork again.
"He'll be here, Derek." Prentiss said, not lifting her gaze from her desk. "He's probably just a bit nervous. I know I was when I came back."
Morgan quirked an eyebrow at her.
"You were?"
She returned his curious glance with a smile.
"Of course I was. I'd been 'dead' for months, then suddenly I'm walking into the BAU. It's not a pleasant feeling having a whole office worth of eyes on you when you walk through those doors."
Morgan's gaze softened.
"Our reactions probably didn't help matters. Sorry about that." He said guiltily.
She waved him off shaking her head.
"You had every right. I've no doubt I would have been exactly the same." She smiled.
Morgan appeared thoughtful for a few moments.
"Do you think I should wait for him outside so he doesn't have to walk in alone?"
Prentiss smiled, touched by Morgan's caring attitude.
"That might be nice, I know it would have helped me – hold up." She nodded towards the glass doors. Morgan followed her gaze and saw Reid self-consciously sliding through them.
He kept his eyes on the ground and his head down in order to draw as little attention as possible. It didn't work. Within a second, all eyes were on him.
"Good to see you back, Dr. Reid." Anderson nodded to him as he passed his desk. Anyone who hadn't noticed him had their attention drawn by Anderson's not so subtle greeting.
Reid just gave some mumbled, unrecognisable response.
The journey to his desk seemed to take forever. He clutched his messenger bag in front of him to avoid any hugs that might be offered.
All the eyes on him were just too much. He wanted the ground to swallow him up.
Another colleague put a hand to his back. Reid tensed and froze on the spot.
"Welcome back, Dr. Reid." They said kindly. "How are you?" He couldn't answer. He just wanted to get to the safety of his desk and bury his head in paperwork. The unwanted panic was building in his chest again at the foreign physical contact.
Suddenly there was a familiar squeeze on his arm, it then moved to cover one of his hands wrapped around his messenger bag.
Reid had frozen up, clearly feeling overwhelmed so Morgan took control of the situation.
"Excuse us." Morgan said, taking Reid by the shoulder with his other hand leading him directly to his desk.
The colleague backed off, having only meant well, but he understood that now clearly wasn't the time.
Morgan guided Reid into his chair and knelt down next to him still keeping his hand over his friend's.
"You okay?" He asked quietly.
He could feel a slight tremor running through Reid's body, one of his early symptoms of a potential panic attack.
"You're okay, Reid. You're safe, man." He rubbed his hand gently.
"Sorry." Reid breathed out. "There's just so many people."
"I know. They are all so happy to see you back though." Morgan said comfortingly.
Morgan looked up to see Hotch peering through his blinds at them. His scowl was questioning. Morgan nodded, a signal to say 'he's okay', putting the Unit Chief's mind at rest.
The next moment, a coffee was produced on the desk in front of them.
"Just the way you like it." Prentiss said with a smile. She had put it in his 'naughty boy' mug. She ruffled his hair gently.
"You have no idea how good it is to see you, Reid. My paperwork has been piling up and Morgan always notices when I slip him my files." She said with a smile as if revealing a big secret.
Reid scoffed at her.
"So do I, but lucky for you, I like paperwork." He smiled back.
"Busted. But my Monday just got so much brighter." She smiled, ruffling his hair again.
He gave a lopsided smile in response. Morgan grinned at her.
Reid finally appeared to be relaxing. Prentiss always had a way of cutting through the tension and making things feel remarkably normal. It truly was a skill and Morgan envied her ability to do it. It took a certain level of disconnection from your emotions that he simply couldn't master.
"You're here!" A voice came from halfway across the bullpen, drawing attention again. Reid cringed, but couldn't help but smile when he saw Garcia tottering her way over to him with a beaming smile on her face.
"Oh my boy wonder, I have missed you so, so much. This is the best day ever!" She finally reached him and he removed his bag and stood to receive a huge hug.
She made little growling noises as she squeezed him tightly.
"Don't ever go away again." She rocked the hug from side to side.
Reid laughed, turning a little red.
"I don't plan on it."
Then she stood back and held his forearms, fixing a firm gaze on him.
"No seriously, without you, I have spent half my time on Google. I am not a search engine!"
Morgan laughed.
"Baby girl, research is part of your job description."
"That may be, but why use me when we have the world's largest and fastest encyclopedia right here?" She grinned at Reid, squeezing his arms.
"Good to know I have my uses." Reid smiled again.
"Penelope, unhand that young man." Rossi's voice cut through the chatter. She took a step back allowing Rossi to move in.
He extended his hand out to Reid. Surprisingly Reid accepted it.
"Bentornato, kiddo."
"Grazie." Reid responded, meeting Rossi's proud gaze. Suddenly Rossi's arm was around his back pulling him in for a hug. He didn't intend to but couldn't resist. It was so good to see Reid back and looking more like himself again.
Slightly taken aback at first, Reid soon relaxed into the hug and rested his chin on his shoulder. A small smile graced his lips.
When Rossi pulled away, he could see a slight shimmer of tears in his older colleague's eyes.
For someone who liked to keep their emotions hidden, Rossi had been profoundly affected by the last few months.
Reid finally sat down in his chair again, the smile not leaving his face. Although he had dreaded all of this fuss, he had to admit, it felt good to know how much everyone cared.
He was back with his family and nothing could feel more right.
"Damn phone calls. Thought I was never going to get to see you. I wanted to be here when you came in."
"JJ." Reid smiled, standing again to give her a hug. "Good to see you."
"You have no idea how much I have missed you." She hugged him back, pressing her head against his chest. He rested his chin on the top of her head and closed his eyes.
Hugs from JJ felt like home. But they had been few and far between recently. As well as she knew him, this whole situation had made her doubt herself. And she had to admit, the men had dealt with it a lot better than she had.
"First lunch is on me." She broke the hug and stepped back.
"Deal." Reid smiled.
Putting a hand to his cheek, JJ's gaze lingered on his for a few moments. She was the only person who could do this who didn't make him feel uncomfortable. He returned her gaze fully.
"You look tired, Spence. Have you been sleeping okay?"
'Spence' still sent a shiver down his spine, but JJ had been so upset at the bastardisation of her pet name for him, he couldn't bring himself to take it away from her.
Reid suddenly felt awkward and dropped his gaze.
"Yeah, fine. Just first day nerves I think." He said, giving a small reassuring smile.
A complete lie.
"Well I would love to tell you all that we have plenty of time for catching up on sleep, but I'm afraid..."
She held up a file with a sigh.
"We have a case." Prentiss said sullenly, not even attempting to hide her disappointment.
"Yep. Conference room in five."
"Guess that paperwork is just going to keep piling up." Prentiss rolled her eyes.
JJ headed to Hotch's office to give him the bad news. The next moment he emerged from his office and headed over to Reid.
"Welcome back." He said quietly.
Reid gave a small smile.
"Thank you, Sir."
"Can I see you for a minute?" Hotch gestured up to his office.
Reid's eyes widened a little. The last time he had been called into Hotch's office, it had not been good.
"Um, sure." He said nervously.
He followed his boss into the office and closed the door behind him. He stood by the door, unable to move any further into the room.
"Reid, you're not in trouble." Hotch said in a concerned tone.
"I know." He gave an anxious laugh as if Hotch was being ridiculous. He shifted forwards towards the chair and sat down mirroring his boss.
"How are you?" He asked.
Slightly taken aback by the directness, Reid fumbled together a satisfactory answer.
"Um, yeah, I'm fine. All is good." His hands were fidgeting beneath the desk.
As much as he had spent time with Hotch outside of work recently and been completely vulnerable around him at times, those moments were largely embarrassing to him and took place when his head wasn't working at full capacity.
Seeing Hotch now in his work attire and back in the role of Unit Chief made him feel very awkward about some of the things he had done when at his most distressed. Namely sobbing, uncontrollably hugging him and falling asleep on his chest sprang to mind. Reid cringed internally. It would be amazing if his boss ever looked at him the same way again.
"Reid, relax. You're not on trial." Hotch said with a smile, slightly amused by his subordinate's clear discomfort.
Reversely, Hotch had hoped that the last few months would have made things more comfortable between them and Reid would feel the ability to open up to him more. But that did not appear to be the case.
"Sorry." Reid flushed.
"I know today is a big step for you and I just wanted to check in to make sure you're comfortable."
"Thanks. I'm okay." Reid said giving the small tight lipped smile he normally gave his boss. It always made him look so young and boyish.
"We have a case." Hotch said, his brows furrowed. "I would have preferred to let you settle in for a few days before we took on a new case, but you know how things are. I just want you to know that if you want to sit this one out to give yourself time to acclimatise you can."
"Thank you, Sir. But I'm okay. I've come back to do my job. All of it."
Hotch regarded him for a few moments then nodded.
"Okay, as long as you're sure."
"I am." Reid responded quickly.
He wasn't. He was far from it. But Hotch wasn't going to know that.
"See you in the conference room."
"Yes, Sir."
Reid stood understanding Hotch's dismissal and went to the door.
"And Reid?" He turned back to his boss. "It's really good to have you back."
Reid smiled, a little pride fluttered in his chest. Then he turned and left.
"So, where are we heading on this bright Monday morning?" Rossi asked with a sarcastic smile.
"Tucson, Arizona. The Pima County Sheriff's Department need our help."
They all groaned. Tucson in July did not sound fun.
JJ gave a tight lipped smile.
"We have three female victims. Samantha Poulton, 25. Victoria Leighton, 26 and Amelia Richards, 22 all from wealthy neighbourhoods. Amelia was found yesterday evening and is the most recent victim. Samantha and Victoria were both found in parks in the Catalina Foothills." Two images flashed up on the screen displaying the women. "Amelia was found behind a local bar within the same area." The third picture flashed up showing quite a different scene. "All three women had their throats cut."
"Those dump sites couldn't be more different." Morgan mused. "Are we sure this is the same guy?"
"The M.O. and victimology appears to be the same. All the women were reported missing within hours of being taken. He keeps them for around 24 hours and then kills them. Patrols have been increased around local parks so it's likely he changed dump sites out of necessity rather than choice."
"Any signs of sexual assault?" Prentiss asked.
JJ's eyes quickly flashed to Reid but he wasn't looking. He was deep in thought staring at the file in front of him.
"Yes, they were all repeatedly raped over the 24 hours he had them."
Morgan did a discreet check on Reid, he didn't seem to react. "Any DNA found on the bodies?"
"DNA was found on all three victims and points to the same perpetrator."
"So he's not using forensic countermeasures." Prentiss pointed out.
"Which means he's disorganised." Hotch added.
"Or he's cocky enough to think he can't be caught." Prentiss rolled her eyes.
"Well he definitely has a type." Rossi suggested, looking at the three attractive blonde women.
"The similarities don't end there. They were all single, local to the Catalina Foothills area, had good jobs and lived pretty independent lives.
"And they all had dogs. Could be a coincidence but maybe a connection." Prentiss suggested.
"Any overlap between the victims?" Morgan asked.
"Nothing so far. I have asked Garcia to do a deep dive to look for anything the Pima County Sheriff's Department may have missed."
"The kill itself almost seems like an afterthought. A necessity rather than an actual compulsion." Rossi pointed out.
"Why do you say that?" JJ asked.
"He cuts their throats which is relatively quick. There doesn't appear to be much time spent on the kill itself. No signs of torture, no post-mortem mutilation. This guy's focus is definitely on the time spent with the victims prior to their deaths."
"So he's a sexual predator." Prentiss stated.
"He could be acting out some sort of fantasy with his victims and when that fantasy doesn't live up to his expectations he kills them." Rossi suggested.
"When were the victims taken?" Prentiss asked.
"Samantha was three weeks ago, Victoria six days ago and Amelia on Friday evening." JJ stated.
"He's escalating. He could already be looking for his next victim. Pima County need our help and fast. We'll continue in the air. Wheels up in 20." Hotch stood and closed up the file in front of him.
The rest of the team stood aside from Reid. They all glanced to each other, noticing that he was still staring at the file in front of him, seemingly deep in thought.
Morgan nodded to them to leave, intending to stay behind and check on him.
Once they were left alone, Morgan sat down next to him.
"You okay, kid?"
Reid startled a little, he looked up and noticed the table was completely empty aside from him and Morgan. His cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
"No one would think any less of you if you wanted to sit this one out, you know."
"These victims are probably a surrogate for someone in his life that he either couldn't have or couldn't get to. So he re-enacts his fantasies with these women instead but it doesn't work out or something's not right. He clearly feels remorse from the way he covers the bodies. This is more than likely a compulsion rather than a sadistic need to control. He's likely a submissive personality in his day to day life but selects dominant victims to match the object of his desires. He feels inferior. He likely doesn't move in the same high class circles. I'll map out a geographical profile to see if I can figure out where he's likely to live and where he might take his next victim."
Reid stood, completely disregarding Morgan's words and left the room.
Morgan was left staring at the door. That had done little to quell his concerns. Reid was a master of redirection and could subtly take people down other roads without them even realising.
A blatant ham-fisted redirection like the one he just experienced however, was a warning sign. He didn't even bother to make it discreet, which meant his head was working hard elsewhere to protect himself.
JJ couldn't have chosen a worse first case for Reid's return. It was obviously the most urgent and the correct choice to make, without question. But the similarities to Reid's own experiences were undeniable.
It couldn't be avoided, Morgan only wished it could. Reid may as well be looking at himself in that file. And the whole team knew it. The glances they had exchanged between them during the briefing showed their thoughts were all on the same page, and JJ looked guilt-ridden.
This was going to happen a lot. A lot of their cases where the victims were women in particular involved some amount of sexual assault. It was never pleasant and it would never be easy to deal with.
He could only hope that Reid would be strong enough to see this one through.
By the time the BAU arrived at Pima County a potential fourth victim had been reported missing.
Celia Bromfield, 23. A young paralegal working for a local law firm had disappeared after an evening out with friends. When she didn't turn up for work on Monday morning, the alarm was raised by her colleague Tina who had been out with her the night before.
The Pima County Sheriff was ready and waiting at the door upon their arrival. The team were all glistening with sweat due to the obscenely warm temperatures.
Normally they would head straight out to their assigned locations, but given the temperature, Hotch felt it best to get a base established first.
"Afternoon Agents. Thank you for coming." Sheriff Miller extended his hand out to Hotch who received it and firmly shook his hand.
"I'm Agent Hotchner, these are Agents Rossi, Morgan, Prentiss, Dr. Reid and you've already spoken with our communications liaison, Agent Jareau."
He shook their hands one by one, aside from Reid who gave his usual awkward wave.
Noting their apparent discomfort with the heat, he gestured into the station.
"You guys probably wanna come inside. You'll be glad to know we have air conditioning."
The coolness of the station hit them upon entry and they all breathed a sigh of relief to be out of the blazing humidity.
They all removed any extra layers, even their ties, aside from Reid who remained as he was.
"Do you have somewhere we can set up?" Hotch asked.
"Yeah, follow me. I've put everything we have so far into a room for you guys."
He lead them to a room at the back of the station. The team couldn't help but notice some of the looks they were receiving from other members of the department. They clearly didn't like them nor want them here.
"Your people don't look happy to see us." Rossi observed as he made eye contact with one such individual.
"They're set in their ways. I've only been here six months and they still don't like me very much. They think we should be handling this in-house, not bringing in outsiders. Which we tried at first, but with only five days between the last two victims and now Celia, pride needs to be pushed aside."
"You did the right thing, man." Morgan said supportively.
He opened the door to a room with a large table and boards containing evidence.
Reid went straight to the board and pinned up the geographical profile he was working on.
The Sheriff tilted his head as he looked at it in confusion. Clearly intrigued by what he was working on.
Hotch pulled his attention back to the group. "Thank you, Sheriff. If you will give us a few minutes, I will be out shortly to receive a brief."
The Sheriff nodded and left the room. Hotch watched as he was approached by a couple of angry looking Deputies who clearly had some differing opinions about what the case required.
Bringing his attention back into the room he regarded the evidence on the boards in front of him.
"How is that geographical profile coming along Reid?"
"I've managed to narrow the Unsub's home location to within a 5 mile radius using the suspected abduction sites and dump sites. Once we have a working profile I should be able to narrow it down more." He said thoughtfully.
Hotch had certainly missed his skillset. No one else on the team could produce so much from so little. He was hoping to be able to keep Reid back and working on the geographical profile for a little longer, but it sounded like he was at a natural stopping point.
"Good. Morgan you go with Reid to the M.E."
Morgan nodded, he looked to Reid, this was less than ideal. Reid was still focused on the map.
"Emily, I want you to speak with Celia's friend, Tina. See what you can find out about their night out. See if she remembers anything that can help."
"JJ and I will speak with the victims' families and see what we can learn about their daily routines. If he has been watching them we might find some information on how or where he might have selected them. And Dave, go to the latest dump site. It might provide some clues as to why the change in location."
Rossi nodded.
"As we're all aware, the temperatures are not what we are used to. So make sure you stay hydrated and keep out of the heat as much as you can."
"In this station, I'm not sure that's possible." Rossi said, referring to the tension in the main offices.
Hotch fully understood his meaning.
"If you have any trouble with the deputies, let me know. Our priority is finding Celia, anyone who has a problem with that will be standing in the way of a federal investigation."
The team all nodded and started leaving the room to go to their assigned destinations.
Morgan looked to Reid who was still engrossed in the map on the board.
"Reid? You ready?" He watched as Reid's shoulders dropped a little and his head tilted downwards.
Morgan moved to stand next to him and pretended to take in the map for a few moments.
"I can handle the M.E. if you need to keep working on this."
"I just feel I'm missing something obvious. Perhaps my algorithm is off."
Morgan continued to feign interest in the map, much like Reid was doing at that moment.
"Okay, well you stay here and keep running algorithms. It doesn't need two of us to speak with the M.E."
He backed away from the map and went to leave the room when he heard a quiet voice.
"Thanks, Morgan."
He smiled to himself. They both knew what had happened here but Morgan was never going to call him out on it.
Leaving the room, Morgan approached Hotch.
"Reid is going to stay and continue working on the geographical profile."
Hotch looked towards his youngest subordinate and nodded.
"Is he alright?"
"Yeah. He has some more algorithms he wants to try."
"Good." Hotch sighed in relief. "I just don't want him to feel like he's being held back." He continued, by way of explanation for his seemingly odd decision.
"I know. It's all good, Hotch." He patted him on the shoulder. "I'll see you in a bit."
Reid had been staring at the map for nearly an hour now. He had no more algorithms to try. He hadn't had any others to start with, so the ones he did try were purely to keep himself looking busy.
A wave of guilt swept over him. A young woman was missing and he was pretending to be busy trying to find the man responsible. A whole hour had been wasted with this charade, all because he couldn't bring himself to look at the dead bodies of the victims. Selfishly because he had only narrowly escaped the same fate.
Pathetic didn't even begin to describe it. What kind of FBI agent can't look at a dead body?
He sighed to himself, running his hand through his hair.
He needed coffee.
Leaving the room he approached the kitchen area and grabbed a mug. Unbeknownst to him he was being watched by three of the deputies.
Filling up the mug and adding a generous amount of sugar, he turned to make his way back to the room. As he passed through the main office, a large shoulder appeared seemingly out of nowhere ramming right into the front of him, nearly knocking him off his feet.
His mug dropped to the floor but not before covering the front of him in the hot liquid.
Reid gasped as the hot coffee soaked through his layers of clothing.
"Ah shit! Sorry, Agent." The larger man said. The smile on his face clearly contradicting the words that had left his mouth.
Snickers from the other two deputies could be heard.
Reid had jumped back and was now leaning up against a desk, unable to hide the panic that shot through his body at the unexpected contact.
"What a mess!" The deputy said, bending down to pick up the mug. He placed it back into Reid's hand. Reid watched him with careful wide eyes.
"Here, let me clean you up." He grabbed a napkin off one of the desks and started wiping the front of Reid's top with false urgency. His eyes went distant. The other two deputies were still laughing, thoroughly enjoying the prank.
"You really ought to look where you are going, kid. You're too busy thinking about colouring in maps."
At this, the other two burst into loud laughter and the man in front of Reid couldn't help but laugh too.
"What's going on here?" Came the stern voice of the Sheriff. The other two deputies quickly looked away and busied themselves, pretending they had seen nothing.
Hotch was following closely behind. He saw the deputy's hand wiping down Reid's wet clothing and panic shot through him.
"Don't do that!" He snapped, immediately grabbing the man's wrist and pulling his hand away, fully aware of the effect that action could have on Reid.
He stepped in between Reid and the man, trying to make eye contact with this subordinate.
"Reid?" He said gently. He put his hands on the top of his arms but his eyes were glazed and unresponsive.
The deputy looked to the other two giving them an amused look as if to say 'what the fuck is this?'
"Phillips, my office. Now." He looked to the other two. "And don't think I haven't spotted you two clowns. You're next."
"Sir. It was just an accident. The kid wasn't looking where he was going, that's all." Phillips protested.
"I won't tell you again." Sheriff Miller gestured towards his office. "Wait for me."
Deputy Phillips stormed off like a moody teenager and went to the office to await his reprimand.
The Sheriff moved to Hotch's side. "Is he okay?" Concern was written across his face.
"Come on, Reid. Let's get you back into the office." Hotch cautiously put an arm around his shoulders and guided his young colleague towards the room the BAU were based in. He was well aware that Reid was having a flashback.
The Sheriff opened the door ahead of them and grabbed a chair, looking positively confused by now.
"I can assure you that Deputy Phillips will be dealt with, along with Deputies Laughlin and Parker."
Hotch closed the blinds to the room and sat Reid down in the chair, closing the door behind him.
"What's going on, Agent Hotchner?" The Sheriff asked, concern lacing his voice.
"He has PTSD." This was the only explanation Hotch gave before he knelt down in front of Reid.
"Reid? You're having a flashback. What you are seeing isn't real... You are safe and I am with you. You need to come away from the memories, Reid... You are safe."
He gently took his hand.
"This is my hand. Focus on that. It's real. What you are seeing is not, they're only memories... Push them away and come back to my hand."
Sheriff Miller watched in fascination. Of course, everyone in law enforcement was aware of PTSD. He even knew a few people who supposedly had it, but he had never seen an actual flashback. It wasn't at all how he expected. He imagined dramatic screaming, crying, hitting out, like Vietnam vets always do in the movies. This was quite different.
Hotch repeated his mantra until he felt Reid's hand tighten on his.
"That's it, Reid. You're safe, come away from the memories."
Reid's eyes started blinking, as if someone had just rebooted his operating system. He was trying to bring his vision back into the room.
"There you go. Have a look around." Hotch reassured.
His eyes closed and he flinched as another memory hit him and Hotch squeezed his hand trying to bring him back.
"Reid, stay with me. Open your eyes." His eyes flicked open again.
Reid scanned around the room and his expression gradually changed from glazed to one of confusion.
He breathed out a shaky breath, his breath caught when he made eye contact with Hotch.
Oh no.
"You had a flashback, Reid." Hotch explained, seeing the confusion on the young man's face.
"I'm so sorry, Sir." Reid shook his head in disappointment.
"It's not your fault." Sheriff Miller forcefully cut in. "It was my idiot deputies trying to 'have a bit of fun' at the FBI's expense." He was furious now.
Reid's cheeks flushed with embarrassment upon seeing the Sheriff also in the room.
His hand went to his chest where he felt wetness and he looked down furrowing his brows.
"I'm so sorry, Dr. Reid. I can assure you that my Deputies will be dealt with."
Hotch stood up looking to Sheriff Miller.
"I could have your Deputy arrested for assault of an FBI agent."
The Sheriff's eyes widened at the threat.
"Please, Agent Hotchner, I assure you, it will be dealt with appropriately."
"I certainly hope so. I do not expect my Agents to be treated with such disrespect when we are only here to assist your department. If anything like this happens again I will simply withdraw my team and leave. Do I make myself clear?"
Sheriff Miller nodded, taken aback by the authority in Hotch's voice. The man truly was a force to be reckoned with.
"Crystal." He turned to Reid. "My sincere apologies to you both." He made his way to the door and left, feeling completely mortified.
"Reid, what happened?" Hotch asked, turning back to him.
"I don't know, he just seemed to come out of nowhere and I walked into him. The coffee went everywhere and that's all I remember. I'm so sorry, Hotch. I probably wasn't looking where I was going."
"No, Reid. They have had a problem with us being here since the beginning. They saw one of us alone and they took the opportunity to make a point. It wasn't you."
Reid looked at him and nodded.
"Sorry for embarrassing you." He dropped his gaze to the floor.
"You did nothing of the sort."
"Please don't send me home." He said sadly.
Hotch frowned and pulled up a chair next to him, sitting down.
"Reid. I am not going to send you home. Just because you are back at work it doesn't mean everything is better. These things take time and you will still have triggers. It's my job as your boss to allow for that and try to reduce them as much as possible. Unfortunately, one of the things I can't account for is the stupidity of local deputies." He said with a small smile.
Reid huffed out a small laugh.
"Stop beating yourself up. That was out of anyone's control." Hotch then moved to get Reid's go bag from the corner of the room. He grabbed a fresh shirt and tie from it and passed them to him. "Go and change those wet clothes and I'll make you a coffee."
Reid smiled at him and nodded.
"Thank you." Hotch had no idea just how much what he said had meant to Reid at that moment.
Reid stood and left the room, feeling so much more secure, supported and wanted than he ever had before. It meant the world to him.