Chapter LXXI

My Precious Kakashi…

Kakashi was having the worst nights of his life. He was bedridden, trapped in his own body made of stone, unable to move and embraced by nothing but agonizing pain throughout his being. He begged again and again for Naruto to wake up so that he could deliver him from his misery. Sometimes he wished to die, disappear into darkness forever. His condition was still unstable. If it was not the Hokage herself, nurses came regularly to ensure that his health was not deteriorating further, that his life was not threatened.

Shikamaru would stop by once in a while, in case Naruto had regained consciousness. He could not leave the hospital until Sakura was made aware of the incident and the tragic consequences of the said incident. Thanks to her ignorance, she enjoyed a sweet sleep unlike Kakashi who was condemned to stay awake.

Slowly, night gave way to the day. Dawn erased the last vestiges of a night that no one could forget. The morning lights entered the room, little by little chasing away the fleeting shadows. While the song of birds accompanied the triumph of the sun, which engulfed the sky with its luminous and warm bursts, a long-awaited sound was heard. With difficulty, Kakashi turned his head.

To his delight, he saw Naruto stir.

Naruto flinched and gritted his teeth before his eyelids fluttered open. The soft light stung his retinas, forcing him to raise an arm in front of his eyes for a breath. The call of sleep came with dawn and thus, his numb mind took a long time to regain its lucidity. He was confused like he had a hangover.

The surrounding smells were foreign, unknown. When he finally saw the white sheets he was in, Naruto pushed them away, kicking his legs frantically. It made his burning, bandage-covered ankles throb. He held them tightly to silence the pain. His teeth ground together roughly. Then, a macabre memory plunged him into hell.

Naruto remembered the fiery iron restraints stuck to his skin, the nightmarish cage on his face, the despair and lastly, Kakashi whose life had passed away in his arms.

His darkened eyes released tears, which flowed freely.

Naruto grabbed his hair and curled up into a ball. His ebony tail wrapped around him; a vain hope of finding some semblance of comfort with it. He could not breathe anymore. His wheezing followed the chaotic crescendo in his too-small, stabbed chest. Moans hissed from his trembling lips. His fingers gripped his hair violently until he began to tear it out mercilessly.

The grief of having lost the most precious being in the apple of his eyes was too great. The suffering imposed on his scalp was a vain attempt to forget the unspeakable torment, the agony in which he was… He could not believe that it was real. He implored the Moon to wake him from this nightmare; it was a wish, a cry from the heart… Alas, he was awake in this dark life being sadly his…

Kakashi was no more…

Kakashi was no longer there…

Kakashi was no longer of this world…

"…Naruto…" whispered a small, exhausted voice.

This whisper reached his ears, despite the ocean engulfing him in its abysses, so deep that he would never escape them. Letting out a gasp of surprise, the blond froze instantly. Hesitantly, his eyes scanned the haunting room with anguish, searching for the source of this so familiar sound; this sound was a comet of hope to which he clung, even if he risked falling into the void for sure if he clung to it…

And Naruto saw him.

Not far from him, he saw the human he thought was lost forever.

The silver hair, the paleness of an almost-white skin, the scar that marked the red eye, its deep black twin… For long seconds, Naruto looked at him. In shock, he was unable to know if it was really Kakashi. A foreign and repulsive smell clung to his skin. He wondered if his mind was playing tricks on him, tormenting him mercilessly to better tear away his hopes, which were hanging by a thread.

Not taking his eyes off the human, Naruto gulped and jumped out of the bed. He felt under the soles of his feet the morbid coldness of a surface that could only inflict torture; his legs were wobbling, and he did not care. One step at a time, he moved closer and closer. He left in his wake watery and saline droplets that slid down his cheeks.

At the human's bedside, Naruto saw the cruel accessories that enslaved their victim in suffering and fear. His palm clung to the crook of his elbow; his claws dug into the flesh, releasing his blood, which stained the ground that had witnessed past horrors. Despite the fatally insufficient amount of chakra, or even non-existent, Naruto recognized this unique chakra that no other possessed.

In front of him was Kakashi…

In front of him was his precious Kakashi, alive and not dead as he thought in the unjust eventuality, which enslaved his bleeding heart.

As Kakashi's black eye gazed at him with exhaustion, Naruto noticed the fragility and vulnerability of a body he believed to be invincible. This oak, which could withstand the most violent of storms, had become a fragile reed, whose slightest breeze that whipped it would break it. Dark bags marred the lower eyelids with their ugliness. He heard the pitiful wheezing sounds of breathing and the beating of the weakened organ that followed the pace of the infernal machine's noise. Kakashi was still fighting for his survival, and Naruto was heartbroken.

Cautiously, he brought his hand closer to Kakashi's face, which had once been bright and kind. With his fingertips, taking care not to scratch him, he caressed the skin, gliding over the cheek, the temple, the forehead. His fingers got to the silver hair. Instead of their comforting, silky softness, they were rough and sticky; they betrayed the illness that poisoned Kakashi, Kakashi's life always on the verge of death.

"… I'll … be okay, Naruto," Kakashi pushed between breaths. "I will heal…"

Even Kakashi's voice was broken; instead of being steadfast and confident, it was weak and miserable, as if he were crying. Naruto sobbed despite himself. He placed his hand on the delicate face that was like a cracked vase, pressing his forehead against Kakashi's. His arms, his hands… Absolutely everything was trembling. His grief as big as the ocean made him gasp loudly. Kakashi's skin, although so soft and robust, was sick; it was oily and greasy.

Tenderly, Naruto licked the forehead as a kiss. This time, Kakashi did not push him away. He briefly withdrew from Kakashi and brushed his fingertips over the silver locks.

"…Naruto," Kakashi murmured painfully. "You must … poison me with … your venom…"

This request startled Naruto.

"...I won't … survive without … it, Naruto. You understand me...?"

A silence.

"...Free me … from my suffering, Naruto," Kakashi implored. "Make … me sleep…"

The blond felt like his love organ was being crushed in a murderous vice. Kakashi's plea caused violent pain that set his entire being on fire. He had to bite Kakashi, sink his fangs into the flesh … but he feared that it would forever chase away the glow of the flame that was about to go out. Besides, his desecrated gums were hurting, although he did not why; his venom reserves were low … strangely low… A memory tried to resurface, a terrible evil that he kept fiercely imprisoned in his fragilely padlocked Pandora's box…

Naruto shook his head and rubbed his eyes to dry his tears. It was not the time to ask unnecessary questions or let his pain strip him of his means. Kakashi needed him, right now, at this very moment. Like Kakashi before him, it was now his turn to protect him, to watch over him, to restore the beauty of Kakashi who was fading like these flowers torn from the earth. The fear of losing Kakashi devoured his insides, turned his stomach inside out.

Carefully, he removed the blanket that covered Kakashi. He almost dropped it when his moist eyes noticed the needle-shaped demons in the white flesh, in these two arms whose proximity he already missed. An irrepressible urge to tear them off crossed his mind … but the fear that it would hurt Kakashi, that it would take his last breath, Naruto held back, as he held himself back from wrapping himself in these arms, in which it had neither pain nor fear.

Naruto was finally witnessing Kakashi's unhealthy thinness like his own—rather, he had just realized that it was not normal. Was it seeing Kakashi on the brink of the end that made him realize his weight was too thin? This vision destabilized him, disturbed him; for Kakashi, he did not show it. He cursed himself. He was furious with himself for not having noticed it sooner, for having been so blind to his light so close to him and fading, fading away to give its place to the darkness of a world of pain and fear.

Kakashi watched him with infinite patience … but he continued to silently beg for the venom impatiently.

Naruto grabbed Kakashi's motionless arm and brought it closer to his face, to his mouth. Given Kakashi's state and the room Kakashi was in, Kakashi would not be able to submerge in any water, and no rain could reach him. Therefore, Naruto slipped his tongue over the arm to lull the skin. After carefully feeling the skin, he sank his fangs deeply into it, which dug and tore the flesh, without pain. The much desired substance poured into Kakashi's arm.

"… Thank you," Kakashi murmured before finally being carried away by the liberating darkness.

Only a few drops of venom were enough; Kakashi immediately fell asleep. Naruto exhausted his poison to the last drop, and more tears slipped down his cheeks. He pressed his palm firmly against the holes. He did not want to see the colour of blood stain Kakashi's wintry melting skin. Naruto refused to let Kakashi's body be tainted by anything now; it included the scarlet fluid that travelled through Kakashi's blood veins.

With his free hand, he grabbed Kakashi's. He intertwined his fingers with his and without scratching him. At that moment, at the sight of the precious human in the apple of his eyes, of his world a hair's breadth from collapsing forever into pieces that could never be repaired, Naruto swore to never hurt him with his claws again. The slightest scratch became a prohibition for which his transgression could not be forgiven.

Naruto raised his eyes, observed the sky which blinded him and returned his gaze to Kakashi's inert and fragile body. He delicately placed Kakashi's hand against his face, flooded with his tears, both sad and happy.

Kakashi was still alive. Naruto would never let anyone take him away from him, including the death he had made his sworn enemy.

- XxX -

Wearily, Shikamaru wandered through the corridors of the hospital. He had taken the path that led to the room where Kakashi and Naruto were. He had lingered a bit too long on the first reports of the incident. The first findings boded absolutely nothing good and sowed general concern. When he noticed the morning lights, he set out for the room in question.

It had been almost two hours since he last came to take a look, convinced that the blond would not wake up anytime soon. Of course, he felt sorry for Kakashi, who was in the grip of terrible and inconceivable physical pain that only sleep could soothe … the sleep that only Naruto could provide, in fact.

In front of the door, he looked inside, through the window on the door. His heart started racing when he saw the empty and unmade bed that Naruto should have been lying in. The room was dark. The windows were surely covered; at that, the curtain, which separated the two beds, was drawn and prevented anyone from seeing what was happening on the bed occupied by Kakashi.

Struck with a bad feeling, Shikamaru entered cautiously, holding his breath. He moved around the drapery to discover its mystery.

Shikamaru saw the Copy Ninja still lying there and hooked up to the machines that kept him alive. Naruto was at his bedside, sitting on a wooden bench. One of his hands encircled Kakashi's while the other tenderly stroked the silver mane. Despite the darkness that rocked the room, he noticed the fresh wounds on Kakashi's forearm; the feral boy had already poisoned him.

Naruto remained impassive despite Shikamaru's intrusion. He did not even turn his head or offer the slightest glance. His eyes were pinned on the body in front of him. His red, puffy eyes betrayed crying that had lasted too long. His sad and tortured face expressed the distress and mental suffering that was overwhelming him.

"Naruto," Shikamaru whispered.

It was as if he did not exist in his eyes. Tears were stuck in his eye sockets. His hand, busy stroking the locks, trembled.

"Thanks to your venom, Kakashi will get through this, Naruto," he reassured him. "He's in good hands. You don't have to worry."

Shikamaru received no response. Naruto seemed to be in a trance; this rather gloomy trance sent shivers down the spine. He placed a cautious hand on the blond's shoulder, calling out to him, and the latter finally returned the look. Quickly, new tears flowed, hiccups of sorrow intensified.

Without warning, Naruto jumped up and tightly hugged Shikamaru. Shaking like a leaf, the sobs became cries, then loud wails as he unconsciously crushed the other boy in his pained embrace. Unable to control himself, engulfed by dark emotions, his veil of static electricity had increased. It released an unpleasant and uncomfortable electric current.

Shikamaru was briefly electrocuted… However, he ignored the lightning, which gradually numbed his muscles to return the hug. He hugged him tightly. Witnessing a collapsed and upset Naruto pinched his chest. He felt so helpless. No gesture, no words could ease the pain, the pain in his comrade's heart… His only source of comfort was between life and death.

Despite Kakashi's words, the young shinobi was consumed with guilt. It was all his fault, and no one could make him believe otherwise.

If he had trusted his intuition…

If he had not given in to Naruto's whim…

If he had not wasted his time with that damn suspicious traveller…

If he had followed Naruto quietly as he had planned to ensure that he would reach Kakashi safely…

None of this would have happened.

He would have the death of the Copy Ninja on his hands if the latter died.

With the problematic attachment disorder of Naruto, his adamant refusal to devour chakra that was not Kakashi's, Shikamaru feared the sapphire-eyed boy would let himself die of starvation and heartbreak.

The waterfalls that flooded his clothes convinced him of that.

"Kakashi will heal, Naruto. Kakashi will be fine. I promise you," he whispered as Naruto began to cry out in pain.