Chapter LXXXIII

Screams of Terror

TW: Eating Disorder

I don't know how much time has passed since he's cradling me in his arms, and I don't care. Whether I like it or not, I need it. I pull myself together, lock away in a corner of my mind all my devastating torments and the fears that poison me. Either way, there's no point in worrying about it. If the process is running, I don't think it can be stopped. As long as this mark doesn't spread across my back, gradually sketching ebony tattoos, and as long as I don't want to satisfy my appetite with chakra, I don't have to worry… Maa, I think so…?

All in all, I'm convinced that Naruto's intentions aren't bad. With his problematic obsession with my lightning chakra, it makes no sense if he turns me into a chakra devourer. He could no longer satisfy his hunger. Additionally, he's willing to fast until his body gives up instead of changing his diet. If it hadn't been for saving my life, he'd have refused his last meals. This rather logical reasoning helps me stay calm and not sink into panic…

Sort of.

While waiting for the full moon, I read my book to busy myself. I take my time, savour each word with a grain of salt, but I will finish it well before nightfall. At times, I caress the back of my neck, this mark. Each time, I perceive nothing abnormal, as if it's not there. I produce electricity in the back of my neck. The fact that I can't feel the static electricity shocks troubles me, as if Lady Tsunade and Shizune have lied to me.

As for Naruto, he's content to stay at my bedside. Sometimes he slides his fingers through my silver mane, inspects it, and temporarily braids it. It's not unpleasant. So I let him do whatever he wants. At least, the idea of covering my locks with drool has completely gone out of his head, thanks to my moment of weakness when I almost fell into the abyss. I hope that idea doesn't cross his mind again.

As prescribed by Lady Tsunade, I'm given light snacks every hour; it's mostly broths, compotes or soft fruit salads. My stomach still grumbles just as much, but it's easier to eat with this rather liquid diet. Since I have to fight against acid and filth reflux, it takes me time. I'd have a much better appetite if these snacks tasted something. They barely have any taste. Absolutely everything is bland and tastes like dust, even my meagre meal before the imminent arrival of the lunar star. I can't finish it … but given my situation, the nurse deems my quantity acceptable.

Since the windows are boarded up, I have no concept of time. Nevertheless, night is upon us; Naruto is slow and gazes into the nothingness with his small, exhausted eyes. He lets out many yawns, and I imitate him. Strangely, I'm tired and I want to go to bed. Maa, it's probably because of all these emotions that upset me earlier. Without Naruto's venom, I won't sleep no matter what, that's for sure.

Slowly, the feral boy grabs the sheets from the neighbouring bed and improvises a bunk next to mine. Due to his weight, he can no longer lie on top of me; he knows that he will inevitably crush me and asphyxiate me, even break my bones. He prefers to sleep on the floor rather than on a comfortable mattress. Either he wants to stay at my bedside, or the bed scares him too much. I opt for a mix of the two.

In the meantime, I ask for a nail clipper to trim my nails; a hope to banish the weird itch once and for all before it comes back to bother me. However, when I cut off my first nail, I'm struck by a sharp pain that makes me flinch. I raise an eyebrow and move on to the next. That same weird, fleeting electrical sensation numbs my finger. I frown. I have to apply double the force with the nail clippers, if not triple. Also, although it's impossible, I feel like I have nerve endings in my nails…

My student stares at me in a funny way. He looks both concern and shocked, as if I were committing a heinous act.

"What?"

His eyes are focused on my hands and have stopped blinking. He briefly backs his face, not taking his eyes off my fingers; at that, he parts his mouth and frowns. He looks completely horrified… I don't know why he overreacts this way. As far as I know, I'm not strangling a kitten. I shrug and continue trimming my nails, ignoring the strange stabs with each cut. I wince in discomfort. My hands are quickly trembling. As a result, my dexterity is weakening, and I'm having more and more difficulty handling my instrument.

I hear cautious knocking against my door, capturing my full attention. My eyes widen when I recognize my kohai. "Tenzō!" I exclaim.

Yamato sighs, scratching the back of his head. "Kakashi-senpai, how many times do I have to tell you not to call me that. I'm Yamato under this identity."

"Sorry, sorry," I chuckle.

Immediately, Naruto hisses and glares aggressively at him. He walks between my bed and Yamato and takes a defensive posture. Many hairs gradually bristle. He tries to intimidate him and get him out…

"Naruto! Calm down! He's a friend. He won't do me any harm."

My words calm his explosive anger, although he remains vigilant as he returns to my side. His black tail curves, imposing an invisible barrier between us and Tenzō. He avoids having me in his field of vision. Obviously, the fact that I cut my nails bothers him for dubious reasons. It's not the first time I've done it in front of him, and he's never reacted like that…

"Are you the one who will watch over us tonight?" I ask, returning my attention to my fingers.

"Indeed. Lord Hokage wants to avoid taking any risks with Naruto."

"With the last full moon, I understand it. I'm in no condition to leave my room if Naruto runs away. That said, I'm not worried. We'll both sleep like a log, and I doubt he'll want to leave me alone. It won't take you much effort."

Yamato nods. "I hear your recovery is rough." He glances at my arms, which are scarred with hideous marks. It makes me a little uncomfortable, and I can't hide them.

"I'll survive… However, I'm gonna feed Naruto again tomorrow. This will sadly slow down my recovery and lengthen my stay."

"Really? I thought shinobi had volunteered to help you recover."

I let out a yawn, then another. I'm nodding my head. Plus, my fingers are seriously starting to hurt. It's only when I cut the last nail that I notice that my fingers are burning hot. Am I hallucinating...?

"He only accepted their chakra because my life was at stake," I explain wearily. "In other words, he would've continued to fast… By the way, it won't be long before I go to bed. I'm exhausted."

"I won't bother you any longer, senpai."

I offer him a nod in greeting. Since forever, it's the first time that I want to sleep so bad, but it's an illusion. I depend on the venom; my body is addicted to it. If I don't ask for it before he falls asleep, I fear he won't wake up … especially since the blond is currently curling up in his makeshift bed, ready to close his eyes.

I quickly grab his arm to stop him. "Naruto, you have to poison me so I can sleep."

He stares at me with question marks on his head, as if I had just asked something stupid. What does that mean? Does he really think I can sleep without it?

Naruto gets up with a heavy sigh. Roughly, he places his hands on my shoulders to pin me on my back. He grabs the blanket and covers me up to my neck. Confused, I blink. He climbs up to reach the lamp which he turns off, plunging the room into absolute darkness. I see his silhouette leaning towards his makeshift bed.

I stand up briefly, grabbing his arm a second time. "Naruto! You must bite me! I don't want to have a sleepless night. If I don't sleep, I won't be able to give you my chakra tomorrow."

Annoyed, Naruto lets out a long, loud complaint. It's his way of telling me I'm an idiot and to stop asking. His brain seems too numb to think properly; he's convinced that he doesn't need to poison me. It's the only explanation I can find. Since my mind is so dazed, I struggle to think.

My eye adjusts to the darkness at lightning speed. I manage to see Naruto's angry expression, who looks at me with a pout. I don't know why my essential request upsets him so much… Is it the full moon that sabotages his cognitive functions?

Without warning, Naruto roughly pulls the blanket off me, making me jump. Without the slightest delicacy, he takes my forearm and brings it to his mouth. When he opens his mouth, I expect to be licked… But he bites me straight away. The sharp pain makes me whine. I'm no longer used to him biting me without putting my skin to sleep. Now I find myself groaning and squirming silently as his venom pours into me.

To bite me mercilessly… Is he … angry at me...? I have absolutely no idea. Even if he's upset because of me, he doesn't want me any harm…

Naruto removes his fangs and slams his palm on the bite. Based on the amount of venom travelling in my blood, I know he hasn't poisoned me enough… However, fatigue is catching up with me strangely fast.

"Na… Naruto… Why didn't you … use your tongue...?" I stammer.

Naruto ignores me and turns a deaf ear; he doesn't even look back at me… Once the bleeding stops, he pins me to my bed once more, so that I lie down, and he covers me with the blanket again. If I try to take one of my arms out, he quickly puts it back, against my body, under the sheets. He glares at me with his chilling eyes that shine like a thousand lights.

I hold my breath. His glare is a warning that I mustn't take lightly. He orders me to close my eyes, to sleep, and I better obey him. Otherwise, he lets me know that I will regret it. I convince myself that the full moon is the reason why he's so aggressive all of a sudden… It's possible that the dark side that lies dormant in Naruto has awakened. I swallow. Better to bend to his will and avoid ending up sexually assaulted by a Naruto fuelled by unhealthy urges…

I'm by no means serene. However, I breathe weakly while closing my eyes in order to fall asleep … if sleep wants me, of course. I half-open my eye when Naruto places his forehead against mine, sliding his hands through my hair; his eyelids are closed and his smile is filled with tenderness. I blush and get nervous; my stomach contracts like a flock of butterflies. Despite this weird emotion overwhelming me, my heart can't start racing due to the venom coursing in my veins.

The teenager pulls out of me and curls up in his sheets. He hugs his pillow as if it were a comforting plush.

As soon as I close my eyes, I sink into darkness.

- XxX -

The full moon night went without a hitch. Kakashi and Naruto slept soundly, and nothing out of the ordinary happened… That said, in the eyes of anyone who didn't know the case of the Copy Ninja. Kakashi shifted positions and moved in his sleep. Sometimes he mumbled or frowned. With Naruto's venom, he remained completely still like an inanimate doll. In his reports, he complained of waking up with excruciatingly stiff muscles and limbs; he had to do a lot of stretching. This time, tonight, Kakashi seemed to sleep normally.

Yamato was reading something to pass the time. He was sitting in a chair next to the door outside the room. He wanted to give them some privacy. Naruto and Kakashi were shinobi, and no ninja could sleep soundly if they were being watched. Still, he glanced once in a while. The night was long.

At dawn, everyone breathed a sigh of relief. The full moon no longer posed any danger … until its inevitable return next month, in about thirty days.

Sakura was on her way to see her comrade and her sensei to inquire about their condition. Before entering the room, she chatted with Yamato. They talked about everything and nothing, although Kakashi and Naruto were the focus of their conversation.

Slowly, Kakashi stirred in his sleep. He frowned and squirmed in his bed, muttering intelligible things. He clenched his fists. Soon his whispers became whining, and his whines clarified into words of despair.

"...No… That's not true… You're lying," said the small voice of Kakashi, who gripped his hair roughly. "You lie… You lie… Lies…"

His hand clenched violently. He tried to pull out his hair. Fortunately, they remained pinned on his head despite his efforts. His body shook. Kakashi moaned, cried. But his eyes were dry. His voice rose a tone.

"...It's not me… I didn't do anything… It's not me… The culprit is everywhere… There… I'm innocent… It's not me… He's right there…"

Kakashi frantically turned his head from side to side. Drops of sweat beaded on his skin, moistening it; he was soaked by his own bodily fluids… Then, he suddenly opened his two bulging and dull eyes.

"LET ME GO! LET ME GO! LET ME GO!" Kakashi repeated in a scream of terror.

He struggled in the void, hitting his head violently, over and over again, without stopping. His screams startled Naruto awake. Naruto barely had time to jump up and look at Kakashi when he saw Kakashi's unstoppable and crazy hands jostling in all directions; they hit their owner mercilessly, again, once again, and so on. In his imaginary struggle, the Copy Ninja tore the IV from his arm; blood spurted out and stained the skin as white as the sheets stained with scarlet fluid.

"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! LIES!"

Despite panicking, Naruto grabbed these unleashed arms possessed by a malevolent entity to prevent them from harming his precious human. However, he had difficulty containing and protecting Kakashi from himself; his fear of hurting Kakashi with his strength sabotaged his attempt to restrain Kakashi, who demonstrated unspeakable combativeness. Kakashi was also kicking his legs now. Kakashi's eyes, including the red one, were wide open, but they did not work or see in front of them; there was no glow in these. With Kakashi's terrible, incessant and incoherent screams, Naruto understood that this was not normal and that Kakashi was not conscious.

He held back tears. He could not understand what was happening with Kakashi and feared the worst…

The bedroom door opened wide. Sakura and Yamato saw Naruto painfully restraining a completely mad Kakashi.

"LIES! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING! LET ME GO! GO AWAY!" the Copy Ninja continued to scream with a broken voice.

"Kakashi-sensei!" Sakura shouted, horrified.

With Yamato, she ran to Kakashi's bedside and helped Naruto. The arm Sakura was trying to control slipped from her hands. This arm delivered a nasty punch to Naruto's face. The sudden shock made him lose his balance, and he fell heavily backwards, letting out a cry of pain.

"Naruto!" the kunoichi cried, grabbing the bleeding arm.

She put one hand firmly in the crook of the elbow to control the bleeding; her hands and clothes were stained with her sensei's blood. Naruto got up to hold Kakashi's left arm as if nothing had happened. A bruise on his cheek already marked his delicate skin. The blow had stunned him a bit since he blinked frantically and shook his head to regain his senses; at that, he had difficulty standing.

"IT'S NOT ME! HE'S EVERYWHERE! IT'S HIM! NOT ME! LET ME GO!" Kakashi screamed … screamed at the top of his lungs. His breathing, more erratic than ever, no longer filled his lungs with air; he hyperventilated loudly between sentences that made little sense.

"Kakashi! Come to your senses!" Yamato shouted, holding back his senpai's frenzied and powerful legs. "What's happening!?"

Like Naruto, Sakura noticed his blank gaze and his eyes devoid of light. His incomprehensible speech, his screams, his madness and his uncontrollable limbs, which marked his skin and his head with bruises… She understood what was happening to him.

"It's a night terror!" she cried. She briefly lay down on Kakashi to contain him when he suddenly tried to get up.

"What can we do, Sakura?!"

"There is nothing to do except waiting. Hold him until it stops to prevent him from hurting himself."

They worked together to immobilize Kakashi, who was struggling to get up and hit himself. Although he was weakened, they had great difficulty containing him. The madness that had stripped him of all reason gave him supernatural strength. Kakashi was pinned to his bed. Moans and grunts were evident in his howls; he was now shouting in a foreign language, with words that did not exist.

Naruto could not hold back his tears. His precious Kakashi was unrecognizable. He felt powerless against the evil that was eating away at Kakashi, that was forcing Kakashi to struggle like this. Kakashi's body no longer belonged to him and was running at its own destruction. Naruto begged Kakashi to come back, to come back to him, to come back to his side. Naruto begged the Moon for Kakashi to come back to him.

Then, Kakashi took a deep breath of air.

His body stopped fighting and went still.

His terrified eyes plunged into confusion.

Trembling like a leaf and whiter than snow, his heterochromic irises slowly swept around him. His breathing turned into a miserable wheeze.

"Kakashi-sensei...?" Sakura whispered, releasing him briefly like Naruto and Yamato.

In response, his eyes fell on her. He was awake and conscious. Obviously, he was completely disoriented and visibly in shock.

"It's gonna be okay, Kakashi-sensei. Inhale deeply. It's over," she added, feeling his racing pulse.

Kakashi tried to move … but he winced in pain. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. He placed a careful hand on his head, which was causing him odious pain. His twin gripped the sheet firmly.

"Careful, don't force it. You just had a night terror."

As for Naruto, he was paralyzed, trapped in his own body which refused to move. He could only look at Kakashi, look at the blood that tarnished the white expanses he had promised to protect. Kakashi's body was ablaze with pain and he feared to hurt Kakashi if he touched Kakashi.

Sakura stopped compressing the wound. The bleeding had finally stopped. "I'll have to put a new IV in for you," she explained. "I'll come back in a few minutes, when you've recovered. Does that suit you, Kakashi-sensei?"

Eyes closed, Kakashi nodded weakly before rolling into a ball on his side. Slowly, he hid under the blanket. His silent, indirect request to be alone was clear.

Sakura and Yamato exchanged a worried look. It was the first time they saw the Copy Ninja in such a state. He was an unshakeable pillar that anyone could cling to with confidence. Now he was a fragile beam that threatened to collapse at any moment. They did not know what caused such a violent night terror and unfortunately, they could not get any answers.

Amnesia always occurs after a night terror.