Chapter LXXXIX

Among the Predators

TW: Eating Disorder

Anxiously, I wait for the nurse's return, twirling my thumbs together. I try to think of a credible excuse, but my brain goes on strike. Despite the sharp pain in my bleeding and swollen tongue, I can't help but caress those fangs in my mouth, as if to convince myself again and again that they are indeed real; a useless hope that they disappear, that I wake up from this nightmare…

Alas, I am awake and sadly lucid.

"Kakashi-Sensei?" I look up and recognize Sakura. I'm so anxious that I didn't hear her at all or feel her approaching me. According to her pout, she's concerned. Subtly, I position my hands on my sheets, covering my right with my left in a natural posture.

"Are you doing okay? They told me that you were … weird," she asks darkly. "They heard a dull noise. Did something happen?"

I hold my breath; I have cold sweats. I do my best to remain calm so as not to betray myself. With this damn craving, I had some unusual behaviours. Otherwise, she wouldn't ask me. Of course, the shattering of the mirror was heard. Luckily, this mute Naruto can't open his mouth and blurt everything out like a happy fool. The good old Naruto wouldn't have been able to keep silent.

I let out a nervous laugh. "You don't have to worry, Sakura," I struggle to say because of my injured tongue. "I'm a little tired, and this whole thing has been worrying me a lot these last few days." She stares at me. It's not a good sign. With this swelling, my words are impaired. "Regarding the noise," I add immediately so as not to give her time to question me. "Naruto lost his footing and hit his head on the mirror. He isn't injured, fortunately."

My words are immediate. Naruto suddenly turns his head to glare at me, his eyebrows horribly furrowed. He's angry and about to growl. He doesn't like it when I blame him.

'Can you be even more obvious than that that I'm lying?!' I grumble, glaring at Naruto.

An uncomfortable silence reigns supreme.

"I see… Do you need anything?" she questions me suspiciously as she picks up my tray. She doesn't believe me. She tries to probe me with her piercing emerald eyes.

Thanks to Naruto and his non-existent subtlety…

"I'm doing fine. I'm gonna rest," I say with a smile as if nothing had happened.

"Someone will come by later to clean up the … mess," Sakura adds dryly, putting emphasis on her last word, indirectly confronting me about my obvious lie.

Discreetly, I replace my right hand to hide my wounds before waving goodbye. Without even greeting me, Sakura gives me a dirty look and leaves my room. I can breathe again … sort of. I sincerely fear that this anxiety-provoking discussion will have consequences… I can only cross my fingers and hope that someone won't tell me that I'm being moved to an observation room, because I'd supposedly be losing my mind…

The sapphire-eyed boy lets out a long, aggressive complaint. He's mad and crosses his arms roughly. His eyes shine in the darkness, and a few hairs stand up.

"What?! Stop looking at me like that! I wasn't gonna tell her the truth!"

My words make Naruto pout even more, swinging his tail from side to side.

"I'm sorry, okay?!" I shout, waving my arms uselessly. "But there are no other solutions! They mustn't know what happened! No one! We're gonna be in trouble if anyone finds out! Are you able to understand that?! Or is it too difficult for your little brainless head to understand?! She would've believed me if you had just stayed quietly in the corner without saying a—"

Naruto suddenly smacks the back of my head with his tail. I let out a useless groan and arch forward. He grabs my wrists and lies me on my back, crossing my arms over my chest. He releases a few lightning from his skin. Mechanically, I try to get up, free my arms, but I'm firmly pinned to my sheets. He leans towards me, brings his furious face closer to mine; his glare is black.

A cold sweat slides down my temple.

"Alright… I get it, Naruto. I'm sorry for yelling at you…"

His facial features soften. To my misfortune, he keeps me hostage long enough to lick my forehead…

- XxX -

Nighttime is the best time to put my plan into action. I spent all day coming up with a perfect plan to hide the existence of these fangs and to resolve this tongue issue that I have to suture. I feel like throwing up all the time because I have to swallow my blood; I can't go to the bathroom and spit it out without arousing suspicion. The hospital staff believes that I'm sleeping soundly with Naruto's venom in my veins. The time has come.

Cautiously, I approach the door and press my ear; at that, I focus on the vibrations in the ground.

Nobody, perfect.

I turn my attention back to Naruto, who is patiently waiting for my instructions. I show him once again the mediocre sketch on which I've scribbled the objects I need. I suck at drawing, and I hope the blond can figure out what I want. "Do you understand what it is, Naruto? I need a needle and thread. The place that Sakura and Shikamaru went with you should contain these two items. They should be stored in a cabinet or drawer."

The teenager analyzes the drawings by raising one hand to his chin. After many blinks, he returns my gaze. He understood me.

"Do you remember what I told you? No one should see you."

My student displays a serious expression; he's determined to succeed his mission. I ruffle his golden mane and open the door for him. With his eyes, Naruto scans the corridor from right to left, then climbs up the wall, using his claws and chakra to reach the ceiling. In absolute and dismayed silence, he crawls discreetly into the designated room as I close the door. All I have to do now is wait for his return, praying that he doesn't come back empty-handed.

Unfortunately, it isn't long before I hear footsteps in the hallway. I immediately return to my bed and get under the covers. I hide my right arm and show my left clearly. I pretend to sleep by remaining still and focusing on my breathing. I inhale deeply and slowly. I meditate to slow down my heartbeat in order to fool the nurse if she examines me. I took care to close the bathroom door, leaving only a small gap. Maa, I hope this will be enough to justify my student's absence.

I noticed that my wounds were sometimes treated while I slept. Besides, I asked Naruto to bite my left arm to alleviate potential suspicion. I'm a little tired since he took some chakra from me and a meagre amount of venom is in my body. I plan to request the return of his teeth in the holes for his poison, but if my wounds are healed, I won't sleep. I'm one hundred percent toast if any wounds reappear.

I hear the door open and the sound of footsteps approaching. A nurse examines me. In order not to react and move, I bite the inside of my lip when a hand touches me and lifts my bitten arm. Two fingers land on my wrist to take my pulse. I remain calm to keep my heart slow … with difficulty. I barely suppress a start when she touches my hair. Her fingers slide through my silver locks, and a shiver runs through my body. I'm about to shake and lose my composure.

Tell me I'm dreaming?! Are they taking advantage of my swooning state and Naruto's absence to assault me like this?! I want to scream, growl … but I can only endure. My hair, carefully groomed by Naruto, is attracting unwanted attention, especially since my personal space and privacy are being violated now… Will my mask be removed too?!

Fortunately, she quickly loses interest in my mane. She provides treatment to my arm with medical ninjutsu. I would sigh if I could; I have to pretend to be sound asleep. Great. I will have a sleepless night…

As soon as she's done, she leaves my room. I wait until she's far away before standing up. I ruffle my hair, shake it to remove the phantom sensations that her hand has anchored on it. I hate being touched like this, especially without my consent. I can't even complain. I'm not even supposed to know. The staff is aware that Naruto's venom is knocking me out, that I can't react and wake up. What I would give to find her and yell at her.

I get out of my bunk and press my ear to the door, glancing out the window every now and then. I'm waiting for Naruto to return, who has decided to take his time. The room in question is being repaired, but I doubt it has been emptied. Even though I know the places like the back of my hand, I can't take the risk of going there myself. Since my night terror, I'm constantly monitored, and they check on me way more than normal. That said, I'm ready to bet that it's mainly because they no longer trust me. Lady Tsunade knows that I don't say everything. She probably would have taken Naruto's custody away from me and made sure to get the Intel out of me if it was possible.

"Ahh… My life has taken an unexpected turn," I sigh unnecessarily. "No way to go back, hmm?"

I jump when I see Naruto's face too close to the window. I open the door to let him in. I don't know how he manages to erase his presence, to the point of completely disappearing from the face of the Earth. This honestly gives me a chill down my spine.

"Did you get what I asked you?"

The blond hands me the tip of his tail, with which he gives me a small, thin box. When I find out what's inside, I get excited. It's a suture kit with everything I need. Without waiting, I congratulate him by caressing his hair. The teen smiles and hugs me before humming. Since my time is limited, I detach myself from him.

"You have to keep watch, Naruto. If there's anyone in the hallway, you must tell me immediately. I trust you."

Naruto nods in his own way. Obediently, he keeps watch while I lock myself in the bathroom. I prefer to be in the dark, but I need to see what I'm doing. I let out a muffled groan as I turn on the light. I rub my eyes until I get used to the bright, painful ray. Since the mirror is broken and hasn't been replaced, I resort to using my forehead protector as a mirror. The reflection is horrible, it's all blurry, but I don't have anything else. If only I had thought to get a piece of a decent size…

"Moron," I grumble, hanging my headband as best I can in front of me, at the level of my mouth.

I take my mask down and inspect my wound. Obviously, these fangs in my mouth consume all my attention. It's such that I forget what I have to do. Out of morbid curiosity, I caress them with my fingertips. I slide my skin under the sharp point. By pressing against the latter, the tooth easily pierces my finger, from which a scarlet drop emerges. They're as deadly as those of Naruto's. Since they're much smaller, they don't cause discomfort in my oral cavity; it's the reason why I discovered them late. I haven't brushed my teeth since I'm here. I eat delicately and cleanly. I don't roll my tongue everywhere in my mouth either.

I shake my head. My priority is my injury. Grimacing, I stick out my tongue. A drop of sweat slides down my forehead at the sight of the damage caused by this demon's fang. Its worrying width has left a gaping hole, in which there's an important vein. I pierced my tongue from edge to edge. As a result, I have to suture it above and below. Since it's constantly moving, wet and in contact with many foods of all kinds, the blood can't clot—rather, the injury is too serious for that.

I carefully clean my hands and grab the needle and thread. With my damn nails too long, I have difficulty handling the instruments, attaching this stupid thread to this needle. I struggle with the latter more than anything else. I even prick my fingertip with it. Seriously! How does Naruto manage to use his hands with his claws? I want to scream.

My painful struggle ends after an eternity. I take a long, deep breath before getting to work. When I start to suture my wound, I'm hit with pain. For my ordeal, I can't see much, and my hands like my tongue are trembling; this makes the task even more difficult than it already is. The icing on the cake is these fangs, which limit my range of action. I have to stick out my tongue as much as possible to no longer be bothered by their presence.

Fortunately, I manage to suture the wound after long and painful minutes. I breathe a sigh of relief. The sensation of the stitches is unpleasant, hellish, but there's no other way. No one must learn of the existence of these fangs … these fangs that I observe again with anguish. A horrifying thought crosses my mind. I wonder if I can devour chakra, although I can't see the chakra veins. After all… What can these canines be used for? With all my heart, I just hope I'm imagining the worst fantasy…

I return my attention to my hands—more specifically, my fingers. Something is wrong with them. I need to scrub them daily like… "Like I'm sharpening my claws."

I widen my eyes as I stare at my blurred reflection; the paleness of my skin is immaculate white now. This mark on the back of my neck hasn't just turned that part of me into a chakra devourer. It changed me in other ways. I developed the need to sharpen my claws, although my nails still look human. They grew in record time, and this inexplicable growth stopped when they returned to their "normal" length, the length before I cut them. The pain was agonizing after cutting off all ten of my nails. Is that why Naruto stared at me when I cut them, because it's painful for him as it was for me?

Obviously, these fangs are a consequence of this black mark. I swallow before examining my upper gums with touch and gaze. There's nothing; no sign of venom pocket. They aren't there to inject any poison…

I'm terrified at the idea that their existence is there to satisfy a certain … appetite. Yet, I always satisfy hunger with food—rather, I'm not hungry. Considering the bottomless, voracious appetite of the chakra devourers, I would be obsessed with food. It's not the case. If I could, I'd stop eating… Sure, I have cravings, but it started long before this mark appeared. It doesn't make sense, nothing makes sense. However, one thing is certain now.

I am no longer human.

Nor a chakra devourer.

I'm between the two.

Mechanically, I run a hand down my lower back. Nothing strange; no suspicious bump. Okay. This mark gave me baby chakra devourer fangs and mutant nails; at that, resistance to lightning and vulnerability to wind on the back of my neck. My chakra is neutralized if I'm restrained with this strange metal and burns my neck. My body odour has changed and is apparently like Naruto's. I can still feed Naruto with my chakra, so it's normal. I'm still dependent on his venom to sleep. I can't see in the dark and am not blinded by light. I still need to eat human food. Whether it's possible for me to devour chakra is beyond the question. I never want to know.

Despite these horrifying revelations, I manage to keep my cool. I'm convinced that I'm not turning into one of these demons. If it's possible, experiments done on the subjects have too high failure rates for Naruto to take this risk with me. He cares about me too much for that; he will give up living if I disappear. Besides, if I become a nocturnal creature like him, he couldn't feed himself. Inevitably, he will die of starvation, since it's too difficult for him to change his diet; his refusals are categorical.

I can deny it again and again, but the truth hits me in the face.

I have to accept that I'm no longer human.

- XxX -

"Is that all you have left? There's nothing left there either?" Naruto nods and is adamant. I check my pockets again to be sure. I wave my hand to ask him to step back—which he does. I look at the stained pieces of mirror one last time like an executioner about to lower their execution axe. I perform hand seals and lift the small metal trash can containing the broken pieces. I mould chakra into my air-filled lungs and breathe blazing fire against the underside. Enough to melt glass, but not enough to warp metal.

The heat warms my face, burns my hand. I stop my technique only once the glass is malleable, free of any bloody stain. It's perhaps a dramatic and unnecessary solution, and I don't care. I refuse to take the slightest risk. They suspect me of having smashed the mirror to pieces. Without proof, I can't be blamed despite the evidence that I'm at fault.

Before the glass solidifies, I grab a kunai to make it take the shape I want. I hear Naruto's wild heartbeats. He didn't expect me to be able to breathe fire. Fear disappears and admiration veils his eyes focused on what I do. Without realizing it, I work the glass, which roughly takes the shape of the leaf, the emblem worn by all the forehead protectors of the ninjas of Konoha.

I freeze when I recognize this symbol, and the matter cools down for good. I didn't have an idea in mind. I just let my hand act on its own. Is this a sign or an omen of some kind? Is this destiny trying to tell me something?

Lost in my thoughts, I put the trash can and my weapon in their designated place. I grasp the mediocre sculpture and I stare at it without blinking my eyes; at that, I stroke the back of my neck. In my hand rests my belonging to Konoha, to my humanity. On my neck is this mark, my belonging to what Naruto is, to this new side of me that I must accept. The day and the night; prey and predator. A border closely connected, but unable to touch. However, I no longer belong to one nor the other.

I focus my gaze on the black sky torn by the distant rumbling of storms. The beauty of the night invites me, welcomes me with open arms and kindness. The day holds me back, grips me with all its strength for fear of losing me. For the first time in my life, I'm completely lost; I don't know what to do. I have the impression of finding myself at a crossroads, having to take one of the two paths that impose themselves on me. The choice is obvious, the question doesn't even arise, but I'm hesitating now…

I'm pulled from my thoughts when Naruto takes my hand, squeezing it tenderly. He shows me a shy smile, and I do the same. I offer him the glass ornament, which he immediately brings to his heart. He hums his incomprehensible sounds as he sticks to me, surrounding our two beings with his tail.

I see the hideous scars that mar my forearms. They disgust me. There are permanent bite marks everywhere, including a few scratches. Even my hands are marked by his sharp nails. I plan to cover them with bandages to hide them from others. I'm … ashamed that they're seen now.

"It's just you and me, Naruto," I say, looking up at the night sky. "You dragged me into your world. You stripped me of my humanity without asking me if I was okay with it. You didn't even give me a choice…"

A silence, an infernal tension and an absent breath.

"But I'm not mad at you." I look back at an anguished Naruto. "You will always be by my side no matter what, right?"

Naruto releases a tear of light before hugging me. I hug him back, running a hand through his rough, dirty golden mane. I still have to burn the cloth soaked in my blood … but I have all night.

If I have to choose a side, I'll take Naruto's side.

There is no turning back now.

I am a prey that has become a predator.