The tragedy of a Border-Collie

by OctaafdeB

Mackenzie had a good life living with his parents. They love each other very much and love to spend time together. Then suddenly it all changes. What started out as a fun weekend ends in tragedy. Mackenzie loses his parents and is all alone. He has people looking out for him but for how long? Does he find a new family, will he fit in and does he manage to live with grief?

14. A lot happening in one day

The next day Bandit helped MacKenzie to pack up some things he wanted to bring with him. Some toys, books and his toothbrush. There was another item MacKenzie brought with him, the picture of parents. Bandit took with him some of the administration and every perishable food items that were still left in the house. If MacKenzie needed other things, they always could return they decided.

Bandit locked the door and he and MacKenzie stepped in the car. MacKenzie was having mixed feelings. Just a few days prior he desperatly wanted to go back to his house. Be in a familiar environment. And a part of him still wanted to stay at home. But without his parents it did not feel like home anymore. He wasn't comfortable being there. This mixed feeling didn't help him and the nightmare he had yesterday only confirmed it to him. It was better for him to stay somewhere else for his mind.

They arrived at Bandit's house a couple of minutes later. At the door MacKenzie was greeted by Chili and Bluey who welcomed him in. Bluey took MacKenzie by the hand and showed him their house. Altough he had visited many times before and knew most of the house, he still happily obliged and let her dragging him around. Chili and Bandit sat down on the cough in the lounge room.

''I really hope he will feel at home'' Chili said to Bandit.

Bandit grabbed his tablet and opened it. ''Yeah, Me too'' he said. ''I think it will do him good a change of surroundings. That house has so many memories, it won't help him emotionally''.

Chili nodded. ''agreed. I hope his nightmares will come to a end.''

''We can only hope and help him cope'' Bandit answered.

''Should we get him to a doctor or a child psychologist?'' asked Chili.

''Nah. Don't think so. Calypso talked with his doctor and said that in a week he has to come to remove the arm plaster and for a well check. Only if he really does not function around others or reacts traumatically then his doctor will see him a psychologist. But…'' Bandit looked up to the ceiling as he and Chili hear Bluey and MacKenzie walking and laughing. ''But as long as he keeps his mind ocupied and still can laugh from time to time.. they say he's fine''.

''I'm not sure about that to be honest. We then just have to keep an eye out on him ourselves'' Chili said. Bandit agreed.

Bluey, MacKenzie and Bingo then came downstairs and started to play a game of hide and seek in the backyard. MacKenzie was now his former self again. Just active and playful and for the first time in a long time he was being very happy. A other surrounding did him good and to play and be with his friends helped too. He was forgetting why he was there to beging with. Bingo had to count first. MacKenzie hid in the shed behind the door. He betrayed himself when his tail beging to wag on the metal frame of the shed, revealing his location. Then he and Bingo searched for Bluey but couldn't find her. When time was up Bluey crawled from underneath the wheelbarrow and declared her victory.

It was then MacKenzie's turn to count and for Bluey and Bingo to hide. He counted down and then went looking for them. He first found Bingo who was underneath the bench of the tree. But again, Bluey couldn't be found. She was to good at this game. He and Bingo agreed to search in different areas of the garden. He went to the front and she searched the back. When MacKenzie sprinted to the front garden he saw Lucky standing in his own frontyard and then forgot to search for Bluey.

''Hi Lucky!'' he said enthusiastically.

Lucky turned around and when he saw MacKenzie gave him a big smile and runned towards him. ''Kenz! How are you? Long time not seen'' he greeted. When he was closer he stopped and looked at him. ''Gosh! What happend to you!'' . ''Uh..nothign serious. A small accident'' said MacKenzie a bit shy.

''Looks like a big accident if you ask me. Like you fell from the tenth floor.'' said Lucky. ''So... Your folks being out of town again?'' Chucky then asked.

MacKenzie and Lucky knew eachother for years. But only through Bluey. He was two years older then them but MacKenzie knew that Lucky played with Bluey too. He was there on her birthdays and other projects she planned. Like the time they had to wear purple underwear for a movieproject she thought of for Bingo when the later was in hospital for her celiac disease. If his parents left him at Bluey's house in the past when he and Bluey had a playdate or if Bandit and Chili looked after him because his parents were out of town, sometimes Lucky would join them in their games. So MacKenzie knew why Lucky would ask him this, but he did not know how to respond properly.

''Well.. not really. I'm staying here for a couple of days'' he said. He wasn't lying but it wasn't the whole truth.

Lucky looked suprised. ''Really? Ok. With Bluey?''.

''In her house yes. I have my own room'' he quickly defended himself.

Lucky laughed. ''Don't worry. I didn't mean anything with that''.

''So, i was just on my way to Rusty. We are going to play a round of cricket in the park. You want to join us?'' Lucky asked MacKenzie.

MacKenzie smiled. He really would like to play a round of cricket. And even more he would really like to see Rusty again. But he couldn't play with them with his arm. So he just pointed his eyes to his arm and lifted his cast a bit up. Lucky looked at it. ''Ah right. I understand. Sorry, didn't thought of that''.

''No worries'' MacKenzie said to him. He was about to say something else when suddenly his name was being yelled in a stern voice.

''Mackenzie!" he suddenly heard from behind him. It was Bingo. ''You were supposed to help me search for Bluey. Where have you been?''

''Sorry Bingo. I was talking to Lucky.''

''Lucky! Don't distract MacKenzie. We are still looking for Bluey''. Bingo said.

''What do mean? You still haven't found her?'' MacKenzie asked.

Bingo shook her head. ''Nope. So that means she is in the frontyard here somewhere''.

Lucky looked up. ''Or she is hiding on the first floor'' as he pointed a finger to the window of the spare bedroom. MacKenzie and Bingo turned around and just in time saw Bluey quickly ducking down out of sight.

''NOT FAIR! We agreed not the hide in the house!'' Bingo yelled furiously.

''Cheater!'' MacKenzie yelled too.

Bingo sprinted back in the house. MacKenzie turned around. ''Lucky, i would like to come but i can't play with my arm and my back at the moment. Tell Rusty i said hi and that i'm here if he wants to see me.''

''No worries mate. I understand and will do. I have to go otherwise i'm late and you know how he can be when someone is not on time. See ya!'' Lucky said and waved as he walked away.

MacKenzie waved back and then walked back in the house just as Bluey run past him, followed by a angry Bingo.

''Come back here you cheater!'' she yelled at her sister. MacKenzie looked and thought; ''i hope i can get used to this ruckus''.

He wanted to go after them but then heard a doorbell ring. He walked back to the front door and opened it. In the dooropening stood a man he did not know. It was a tall blue/red heeler mix dog.

''Hi there. You must be MacDonald?'' the heeler said.

''MacKenzie'' MacKenzie said, correcting the heeler.

''Oh yeah, right. Sorry. Hi there, the name is Rad. Bluey's uncle'' the heeler answered.

Rad shook MacKenzie's hand. ''I heard what happend, so sorry mate''.

MacKenzie recognised Rad now a little bit. He had seen him on Bluey's birthdays a few times ago since he moved to Brisbane with his wive. So he was still a bit new for him.

''Uh..yeah. Thank you'' he said a bit distant. He then looked at Rad, still shaking his hand,: ''Didn't you fall in the fishpond in the garden on Bluey's birthday?''.

''Probably'' Rad answered.

''Radosaursus!'' Bandit said to his brother as he walked in the room.

''Bandishwasser!" Rad happily greed him as the two brother shared a hug. ''Good that you could come to help''. Bandit continued. ''Yeah no problem. I'm just glad to help my baby brother. Show me the leak and i'll be done i a jiffy''.

Since Rad had given up his job on a oil rag to move to Brisbane, he had set up his own busines. He was now a handyman who did all kinds of things. He could do plumbing, was a certified electrician and locksmith. It was ideal for him as he always had work in the area and could work from home. He only had a van to move around in town. This morning Chili had called him to ask if he could take a look at a leak she discovered in her and Bandit's bathroom.

He let go of MacKenzie's paw and walked with Bandit upstairs. He wanted to close the door when a other dog appeared.

''Hi MacKenzie.'

It was a English cocker spaniel. MacKenzie looked at her and recognized her, but he couldn't remember from where. ''Hi'' he just said.

''Hi there Girl!'' Chili said as she now walked in the room.

''Hey girl! I had nothing better to do so i just thought i should come with Rad''.

''Yeah right. You knew i have done my groceries and that the wine is supplemented and lying cold in the fridge.''' Frisky took a packet of chips and a bowl of nuts from her purse. ''Guilty!". Both of them laughed.

Chili then saw MacKenzie looking a bit confused.

''MacKenzie, this is Frisky. A good friend of mine''.

''Yeah, we know eachother a bit.'' Frisky said.

''We do?'' said MacKenzie a bit surprised.

''Yeah. Don't you remember me? I was at your mums birthday this year''.

MacKenzie looked down as he tried t oremember it. It was a busy day and a lot of people where there on that day. He was to busy playing with his friends and didn't pay attention to the adults. He knew Bluey was there because Bandit and Chili were invited. And then he remembered. He had seen Frisky indeed. He had seen his mum, Frisky and Chili sitting together and talking, along with Chloe's mum on the couch in the living room.

''Yes. I remember now. You were sitting in the living room''.

''Well not only there the entire time but yes. And last year i was there to. And we went shopping together a couple of weeks ago. You don't remember me dropping her off at your house?'' she asked. MacKenzie shook his head. He knew his mum would meet with friends from time to time, but he never really kept up with who or when. ''Nope. Sorry.'' He said. ''That's alright. I was one of your mum's friends and we worked together''.

She kneeled down to MacKenzie's height and gave him a hug. MacKenzie felt awkward and didn't know how to react to this. ''I'm so sorry for your loss. She was a amazing woman, good friend and a wonderful mum'. We will miss her. Just know if you want to talk, you can ask me'' she said.

MacKenzie felt a bit unease and wiggled a bit to get loose from her. She let him go, gave a pat on his head and smiled. He looked confused. She then walked with Chili to the kitchen so they could talk together leaving MacKenzie standing there.

He just wanted to walk away when the doorbell rang again. MacKenzie sighed irritated. ''Who is it now?'' he complained when walking back again to the door with a grumpy face. He opened the door and saw three dogs standing there.

''There he is!'' said Rusty.

''MacKenzie!'' said Jack.

''When i told them you where here, they wanted to see you right away.'' said Lucky.

MacKenzie's face changed from grumpy, to surprised to enthusiastic. ''Guys!'' he said.

Rusty smacked his hand on MacKenzie's shoulder. ''Good to see you again man''.

''Rejoice!'' shouted Jack.

MacKenzie smiled. ''It's so good to see you'' he said to his chums.

Bluey entered the room to see where MacKenzie was. As she saw the boys she waved and greeted them. ''G'day guys!'' she said.

''Why did you keep him for yourself!'' Jack said to her while pointing in a dramatic way to MacKenzie.

''I didn't! He just arrived here''. answered Bluey.

''Yeah right. If you could find a way to keep him for yourself, you would'' said Jack causing Bluey to blush. ''Shuddup Jack o'latern'' she whispered to him. ''Sorry, it was a joke'' he said nervously.

''What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at home?'' asked Rusty.

''Well…i..i..i can't'' stammered MacKenzie.

''Why not?'' wanted Rusty to know.

''Are your parents in New-Zealand? That is what i, Honey and Pretzel were thinking? I even thought the governemt kicked you back to there''. said Jack.

MacKenzie frowned. ''What are you talking about? Why would they do that. I wasn't deported, neither my parents are''.

''Where they also involved with that car incident then?'' Rusty asked.

''Car incident? You didn't tell me that!'' Lucky said shocked and surprised.

''Yeah, our teacher told us that'' Jack explained.

MacKenzie was now on the edge of tears. He wanted to tell them, but he didn't want to keep repeating his story. This was just the same repeat as when he first told Bluey. He could't handle that right now.

''Guys, please'' Bluey interrupted. ''Yes, there is a reason why Kenzie is staying here and what happend. But he will tell when he is ready''.

MacKenzie looked to Bluey with a grateful look. ''Thanks''.

Bandit and Rad then walked in to the room. Rad had indeed finished the job in a jiffy. ''Because you are my brother this one is on me'' said Rad. ''I can't believe it. You found the problem within two minutes, repaired, replaced and sealed up everything within fiftheen minutes. And you dare to ask old ladies a hourly wage for that amount of time?''.

''Only if they are complete bitc…oh… children are here. Hi there!''

''Uncle rad!'' shouted Bluey happily as he sprinted towards him to greet him.

''Hey Bingo!'' said he.

''Uncle Rad stop it. That joke of mixing up our names wasn't funny six years ago'' said Bluey annoyed.

''Yeah right, got you. joke…'' said Rad.

''Hi there guys. Are you here for MacKenzie?'' asked Bandit. The boys nodded their heads.

''Are you staying over for dinner uncle Rad?'' asked Bluey.

''Well. I wasn't planning on doing so, but since you invited me i think i will'' said Rad.

''Tsk. Ofcourse'' said Bandit.

''That sounds like a good idea'' Chili said as she and Frisky walked out of the kitchen.

''We can organise a Barbie'' said Frisky.

''Good idea! Should we ask if Stripe and Trix would like to come to?'' asked Rad.

''Ofcourse. Invite everyone over in my house'' said Bandit.

''Ooh, dad. Can the guys stay here then to?'' asked Bluey.

Bandit looked defeated. ''Sure'' he said.

''Hurray!'' the kids cheered.

A while later the house was full of people. Chili, Frisky and Trixie were busy making and preparing the food for the barbecue. Bluey, Jack, Lucky and Bingo were helping preparing the tables. Bandit was busy with helping set up the barbecue and Rusty helped him. Jack was playing a game with Socks and Muffin was riding her electric car around the garden.

Bandit was pleased with himself. He managed to get control over his barbie. He knew he was the grillmaster and yet his two brothers did not believe him and claimed to be better. The fact was that Rad was really rubish but that Stripe came close to Bandit. Bandit and his brothers had been discussing who should grill this night. Bandit had won. He thought of a idea how to get rid of Rad and Stripe. He had given them a job. He had sent them to MacKenzie's house and asked if they wanted to take his bed apart and bring it over here to be placed in the spare bedroom were MacKenzie would be sleeping. Bandit dit not want MacKenzie to be sleeping in a sleeping bag or on an inflatable mattress. Luckily for him, both his brothers seemed to be happy to given such a task and went to work on it.

MacKenzie on the other hand was sitting alone in the lounge room. He couldn't help anyone. He offered his help to everyone but they all said that he should take some rest. They all thought he couldn't help with the state of his back and broken arm. He hated that. He was a bordercollie. He wanted to help and to be put to work. And right now he was being told that he couldn't help and that he should rest.

They also said it because just a couple of minutes ago he told Jack, Rusty and Lucky what happend. Again he had to share the story of the incident, how he woke up in hospital, that he lost his parents and that he didn't feel comfortable in his own house and therefore stayed here with the Heelers. Ofcourse the room was filled with emotions and tears where shared and had fallen. Just like everyone else, Rusty and Jack offered their friend to be there for him and to help wherever they could. If he wanted to talk they would be there to listen they promised. MacKenzie knew they meant it and that it was meant good, but it started to irritate him that he had to tell the story again everytime. It just made his emotions and memories of that day come back instead of disappearing like he wanted to.

A hour later the garden was full of people. Lucky's parents and brother Chucky had joined to and Bingo invited Lila. It was busy and everyone was busy talking and laughing to each other. MacKenzie was sitting at the end of the table between Bluey and Frisky. He was probably the only one not feeling happy. Ofcourse he was talking to others. Jack And Rusy were sitting opposite of him and he talked with them a lot.

But still he felt like he didn't belong here for some reason. He knew that if that day hadn't happend, this barbecue probably still would have been held, but he wouldn't have been invited. He would be at home sitting at the dinner table with his parents. On the other hand, Lucky and his parents and Jack and Rusty wouldn't also be here either then.

He was also wondering if his parents were still there somewhere. He wasn't religious but still wondered if they knew what he was doing now. Where they watching him? And what would they think of him sitting there at a table having fun with friends and strangers and living with a other family? Would they be happy for him or would they be angry? Was he betraying his mum and dad he wondered..

Bluey saw him and knew that he had a heavy hearth and got worried. She tried to make him smile and kept talking to him. He was grateful for that. He felt like otherwise his thoughts would make him crazy. But even so he just nodded or gave simple answers. It wasn't that he didn't feel welcome as everyone talked to him and let him knew he was welcome and that they all felt sorry for him. But he didn't want people to feel sorry for him. And he kept feeling like he shouldn't be there. Like he did not belong there.

Rad and Stripe played a game of football with him and the other boys after dinner, altough he couldn't do that much. They were very careful with him, and altough understandable MacKenzie he felt like it was a confirmation of him being the odd one out. The game stopped when Stripe got a bit carried away, kicked the ball to hard and hit MacKenzie in the stomach. He wasn't hurt but the others decided to stop the game to prevent hitting MacKenzie more. MacKenzie felt like it was his fault.

Later that night when the majority of the company had left, MacKenzie helped bandit and Rad with cleaning and putting away the barbecue, while Bluey, Frisky and Chili cleaned up the table and food. Bingo was gone. She had permission from Chili and Bandit to stay the night with Lila at her house.

''Hey MacKenzie, can you help me lift this thing up to the shed?'' asked Rad.

''I'll try'' he said, as they both grunted and lifted the barbecue up. It was quite heavy and both grunted a lot. MacKenzie was glad that Rad forgot about his arm in plaster or didn't even acknowledged it as the others. He finally got asked to do something for someone else and he was happy he could help and work. But he also didn't know how long he would be able to do this as he was guiding and lifting the machine with only one arm. But luckily they reached it in time before his arm would fail him. With great difficulty they managed to lift the barbecue into the shed. MacKenzie closed the door of the shed and he and Rad stood still and stood there for a while huffing, puffing and sweating. MacKenzie felt his back and wanted to scream from the pain he suffered by doing this. But he didn't. He held his head up high and replaced his pain with proud.

Bandit walked up to them: ''Thank you guys. Oh, by the way for next time here's a little tip…there are wheels underneath that thing. Makes it way more easier to move''. MacKenzie and Rad looked at each other and then started to laugh when they realised they made it way more difficult for themself then it should have been.

''Yeah, yeah. I knew that little brother. Just had to keep these muscles in shape'' Rad said trying to cover up his mistake. Bandit looked at him with a 'i know you are lying' stare. ''Yeah…right…'' he said to his older brother.

''It's true! Just look at these biceps'' said Rad with proud as he flexed his arms.

''The size of a Brussels sprout'' said Bandit unimpressed.

''Hey! Do i smell some jealousy? Here, let me show you what these muscles can do.''

MacKenzie just looked from one heeler to the other, wondering what was going on and what Rad was planning to do. Rad placed a old wooden plank to side of the shed and punched it, breaking it in two. In doing so he also managed to hit the wall. A big sound of crashing and tumbling was then heard from inside the shed. The three dogs were startled and Bandit opened the shed's door. Inside the shed some planks had fall of the wall including the items that stood upon them. It was now one big mess inside. Bandit didn't take the news well.

''Look what you've done to my BLOODY SHED MAN!''

Rad stared at him with a dumbfounded glaze and said: ''I had this bomb in my fist''.

''Is my daughter inside the house?'' asked Bandit.

''Yup'' said Rad.

''You're a Fu..'' MacKenzie walked away before he heard Bandit finishing his sentence.

Inside MacKenzie asked if he could help the girls but they were done with what they were doing so Bluey took him and Frisky to the living room to play a game of Man, Don't Get Angry. At the end of the night MacKenzie won to his suprise and Bluey's chagrin.

Rad and Frisky then announced to leave and said their goodbye's to the family. They hugged and kissed the Heelers and thanked them for the evening. MacKenzie stood there next to Bluey watching and not expecting to be included. To his suprise however Frisky then turned to him and told him to be strong and gave him a goodbye hug and kiss to. Rad gave him a pat on the shoulder and a fistbump and called him 'bud'. For some reason it felt weird to him, but the good kind of weird. It felt like they included him in their circle, as if they knew him for years. He was only expecting a simple 'bye and see you a next time' with a wave of their hands. It made him happy and realise that his thoughts from earlier that afternoon were maybe wrong.

After Rad and Frisky had left MacKenzie decided he wanted to go to bed as he was tired. Bandit walked with him upstairs to show him his room. It was a small, spare room that was used for storage but Bandit had taken everything out and placed in the garage so that there was some room. It was next to Bandit's office and opposite to Bluey's room. It was a light room with green and yellow striped wallpaper on the wall instead of just bricks as in his former bedroom in his own house. His own bed was already standing there in the corner as Rad and Stripe had brought it over and put it together for him. There was also a closet in the room where the stuff, books and toys MacKenzie brought with him this morning were stored. In the corner Rad and Stripe also placed his desk and chair to his suprise. Apparently Stripe and Rad bought that over aswell while they weren't asked to do so. On his desk stood the wedding picture of his parents. Now in a new frame that Bluet had given him. It felt nice to MacKenzie as the room was new to him, but at least it had three pieces of furniture he was familiar with. He went to his bed and crawled underneath the clean blankets that Chili put on it. It weren't his own, but that didn't matter. Soon he felt asleep.

''Traitor'', ''So, what is this? You're just leaving our house? Wasn't it good enough for ye?'' , ''Already looking for a other family?'', ''What if we come back?'', ''Houw could you do this to your parents?", ''Trying to be a burden to a other family?'', ''this is just despicable''.

It was late at night and MacKenzie was twisting and howling in his sleep. He had another nightmare. This time he was standing in a dark void. The only thing he saw was the frontdoor of Bluey's house as he stood in front of him. The lights inside were turned on, but the door did not open for him. It stayed closed. The voices he heard came from that darkness surrounding the house. It were the voices of his parents. But also the voices of his other family. He heard his aunt, uncle, cousins and grandfather berating him. MacKenzie felt a immense guilt building up and tears starting to come. He turned around and yelled to the darkness: ''I'm sorry! Forgive me! I don't betray you, i would never!. I try to move on!''.

A lightning bolt then appeared followed by a howling laughther from the same voices he heard earlier. Suddenly he heard the front door creaking open. He turned around and there he saw Bluey, Frisky, Rad, Bandit and Chili standing in the door opening. They looked friendly and smiled at him. Chili reached out her paw to him. ''Come inside MacKenzie. You are safe here''.

MacKenzie didn't trust it at all. He knew that something was going to happen as he did. Something bad. Then a voice shouted from the darkness to him: ''DON'T YOU DARE SET A PAW INSIDE OF THAT HOUSE!''.

MacKenzie turned around again and saw Chili still smiling at him. ''It's alright MacKenzie, don't listen to that voice''. MacKenzie looked back to the darkness and then back to Chili. He then took her paw as she guided him inside the house and closed the door. The darkness had gone and was replaced by a bright white light.

MacKenzie then woke up and sat up in his bed. Again puffing, huffing and sweating. He looked around him. The moonlight was coming through the window, allowing him to see the room. Altough he was in his own bed he felt strange. He recalled his dream and didn't knew what it could mean. Did his family hate him for leaving his house and staying somewhere else? Did his parents feel betrayed because he was now technically living with another family? And do the Heelers really welcome him in their house or do they tolerate him because they have to because Bandit signed some papers?.

He got out of bed and walked out of the room. He was thirsty and needed some water. He didn't want to use the bathroom, afraid of waking the others up and went downstairs to the kitchen. In the kitchen he grabbed a mug and filled it with water. While he was sipping he decided to walk around the house a little bit. Just to see it for himself at ease without Bluey dragging him in a hasty pace of enthusiasm.

After seeing some rooms, and be amazed how many there were in this house (why do they need so many rooms?) he also was astonished by the collections of Bandit. He looked at every bone and fosil he came across as well as pictures. When he was standing in the foyer he looked at a picture of Bandit and his brothers when they were kids. He laughed at seeing their akward smiles as they clearly did not wanted to be there when the photo was taken, Then he looked at a other picture.

It was a picture of four red heelers standing at a lake. He didn't know three of them but he thought he recognized Bingo. ''Who are they?'' he quitly said to himself. ''That is my family'' said Chili, startling the bordercollie. He turned around and saw Chili standing behind him, holding a glass of water herself.

''Oh mrs. Heeler. Hello. I was just…uhh.. grabbing some water'' he said nervously feeling caught.

Chili smiled at him. ''It's okay. You can walk around here. Couldn't you sleep?'' she said.

MacKenzie looked down at the ground. ''No.. i had a nigtmare again. Not as bad as the one from yesterday but still a nightmare. I woke up and got thirsty so i took this mug and then walked around for a bit. I'm sorry if i woke you up''.

''You didn't woke me up sweetie. I also had a bit of thirst and got myself a glass of water when i saw you walking past the kitchen. I just wanted to see if you were alright.''. she said. Then her face looked worriedly. ''Do you want to talk about your nightmare?'' she asked.

''Not really'' MacKenzie answered.

''Maybe it will help you getting some rest and to find answers'' Chili said.

MacKenzie tought about it and then nodded. He and Chili walked to the couch and sat there. MacKenzie started talking. ''I was standing in front of the door of your house and i heard my family saying nasty things to me. Like that i shouldn't be here, or that i was betraying my parents and replacing them''. MacKenzie got a lump in his throat while talking. ''I don't want them to feel betrayed by me, i would never do that.''.

Chili placed her arm on his shoulder and petted him. ''Nobody is saying that MacKenzie. You are only telling that to yourself.'' She said with a soft voice. MacKenzie looked up to her. ''What do you mean?''.

''Your parents would never think that you would betray them. Knowing them they would be happy that you decided to seek refugee with us instead of staying and being alone in your house. They would be proud of you asking other to help.''

''Would they really?'' MacKenzie asked.

Chili nodded. ''Yes ofcourse. And the rest of your family is thinking the same. We told your aunt that you are staying with us and she was very pleased to hear that. She said she was happy that we are looking after you. And she is coming tomorrow. She wouldn't come if she was mad at you now would she?''.

MacKenzie tought of that and shooke his head. ''No, i don't think so''.

''It's all in your own mind. You are thinking that they would be mad at you but in reality you are saying it to yourself'' Chili explained.

''But why. Why would i do that to myself?'' wondered MacKenzie.

''It's part of the grieving process'' Chili said.

''what is that?''

''When you lose someone or something you really love or care about, and it doesn't matter if it's unexpected or expected, it hurts. And you go to some stages of grief. You get sad about the loss, and then mad and angry, you can deny what happend or even blame yourself for what happend even if you couldn't do anything about it. This all happens before you can accept it and then live with it.'' Chili explained to him in a calm manner.

MacKenzie was thinking. ''But i haven't gone through any of that, haven't i?''.

Chili lauged softly. ''Yeah you have!''.

''I have?''

''Yes ofcourse. And that is perfectly normal''.

MacKenzie was silent for a while. ''Bluey's mom, can i ask you something? How do you know this? Have you ever grieved?'' he asked.

Chili's face turned into a frown and then into sadness. ''Yes. Yes i have''.

Chili got up and took a framed picture of the wall. It was the one MacKenzie was looking at earlier. ''You wondered who these people were you said?'' she said as she showed him the picture.

''Well, i thought it was Bingo with strangers, at least for me, but i don't think that is Bingo now i have a closer look at it.'' he answered.

Chili smiled. ''That is me when i was six years old''.

''Ooooh. I see it now. The one dark patch on your head while she has two. You two really look alike!'' MacKenzie said.

''Yeah, i hear that often. But she looks even more like her aunt''. Chili pointed at Brandy. ''That is my older sister Brandy. She now lives in Caloundra near the Sunshine Coast. And that is my father, Bluey's grandpa'' as she pointed her finger at Mort. ''This picture was taken at the lake right at my childhood home were we lived on Russel Island. He still lives there. It is a wonderful place.'' She said.

MacKenzie pointed at another figure that was on the picture. ''And who is that? Is that your mum?''.

Chili's eyes looked sad but she also had a soft, warm smile. ''Yes, that was my mum''.

MacKenzie frowned. ''Was?'' he asked.

Chili nodded. ''She… she is no longer with us. She died some years ago.'' Chili said with a lump in her throat.

''I'm sorry'' MacKenzie said.

''No that's alright sweetie. You don't have to be''.

''Can i ask what happend to her?'' he asked out if curiosity.

Chili sighed a little. And looked up, her eyes a bit watery. She then told him a story. The story how she dealt with grief and losing her mum.

''I was eighteen and the summer of 1999 just ended. I just graduated high school along with Frisky, we were friends back then already. And we were planning to backpack in some countries for four months before we would start at university at the start of the following year. We would start in New-Zealand and from there to Canada, Chili and yes just because i share the name with that country, Peru, the United States, from there to France, Spain, Germany and the Netherlands before we would end the trip in the United Kingdom. We had it planned so that we would celebrate the start of the new millennium in London. Brandy was already studying at the university of Perth and dad was enthusiast about our trip and helped us planning it. But my mum wasn't.

For some reason she didn't want me to go. She wanted me to stay at home and be with her and to help her. She had her own busines, a flower shop. I really didn't want to stay and work there before returning to school. So i promised her that i would call her every other day, which i did, to send her postcards, which i also did, and to be home earlier then planned to celebrate new years with her and dad. Which... i didn't.''

Chili sighed as she closed her eyes and continued. ''At the last moment i cancelled my flight back home''.

''Why did you do that?'' MacKenzie wondered.

''I felt in love with a university student from Australia that studied archaeology at the universiry of Cambridge. It was love at first sight. I was young, didn't want to leave him and I wanted to stay with him to celebrate the new year when he invited me to a party. Let's just say that when i told my mum she didn't take the news well.''

''Was she mad at you?'' MacKenzie asked, completely interested in the story.

''No. That was the weird part. She just sounded off and more disapointed. She told me that she would have loved it if i was there with her and that she missed me. I told her i was sorry and that i loved her. She said she didn't mind and that she was happy for me. Then she said she loved me before hanging up the phone call. Back then it was very expensive to call overseas so we always made short calls. Anyways i returned home with Frisky and that student who was also returning home to see his family in Brisbane just a day later on the 1st of January. When i returned i was expecting to see my family waiting for me in the terminal to greet me after all these months that i was gone….but my family wasn't waiting for me at the airport. And that was weird because they would waited for me. Eventually after some waiting, he and his older brother gave my a ride back home.

I will never forget the moment i returned home. I walked tot he house and found the door being left open. I stapped in and… and found my dad on his chair staring blankly to the wall. When i walked in, the moment he noticed me he broke down in tears.

''Wh…w…why..? what happend?'' asked MacKenzie.

Chili's had a tear runnind down her cheeck as she continued. ''He walked towards me and apologized for not picking me up. Then he hugged me….and..

- Flashback: - Mort's house:

''Chili, oh Chili…i'm sorry girl. I forgot that you came back today'' said Mort as he got out of his chair and sprinted to his daughter. He hugged her thightly.

Chili akwardly hugged him back and then let go of him. She tooks his hand and smiled at him. ''Dad, that doesn't matter. That can happen. Now no tears please for my return, otherwise i might cry to. I missed you also so much!''.

Mort gave a weak smile. He was happy that his daughter had returned but there was something else he had to tell her. Chili placed her backs and suitcase in the hall before returning to the living room. She looked around her. ''Where is mum?'' she asked.

Mort stared at his daughter and then bursted out in tears again. Chili sprinted towards him and grabbed him before he collapsed on the ground. ''Dad!''. She sat him down on the couch worriedly. ''Dad, what is going on?'' she asked.

Mort took his daughters hand and looked at her. ''I'm so sorry Chili. Mum…she…she..'' he gulped as tears continued to fall down from his eyes, ''she died yesterday.

Chili's eyes widened and her mouth felt open. She gasped. She let go of het dad's hand and put them in front of her mouth.

''No..no it can't be true. I talked to her on the phone yesterday!'' Chili says as tears are now running from her eyes.

Mort took her in for a hug as Chili started to cry furiously on his shoulder. ''WHY! How could she?'' she yelled. She and Mort then cried together for many hours untill Brandy arrived back home after hearing the news also and joined them. Sharing their grief and guilt together.

-end of flashback— Chili and MacKenzie on the couch.

Chili continued speaking in a sad voice: ''It turned out that she died of a aneurysm in her brain. It just happend. Her blood vessel just popped and she was gone. But i always thought she knew she would die soon. Like she had a instinct or feeling that something would happen. And that is why she wanted me to come home or stay at home those months before university. So she could spend time with me before leaving.''.

''Brandy was at university and also didn't return for new year's, only one day to celebrate christmas with mum and dad on boxing day. And dad was always at work. She died all alone, in her shop while working. She laid there for hours on the floor behind her counter. Dad found her there when she didn't return home that night. All these years me and Brandy blamed ourselves for her death. I always thought if i stayed at home as she wanted me to do, i could have helped and saved her, or even prevented it from happening. But the truth is, that it wouldn't matter if i stayed or not. It would have happend and i there would be absolutly nothing i could do about it''.

MacKenzie stared with pity at Chili. He then suddenly hughed her. ''I'm so sorry to hear that''.

Chili wiped away her tears. ''Thank you. But it's alright now. I learned how to live with my grief and i excepted the fact that there was nothing i could do. It just happend. But that didn't mean it wasn't easy for me to do so.''

She gently placed her hands on MacKenzie's face. ''MacKenzie, i know how you feel. And i know what you're going through. And one day, not soon, but one day you will learn how to live with your grieve aswell. And just like you i had people who helped me getting through it. I had Frisky and my new boyfriend back then. You have me, Bandit, Bluey and a lot of other friends. I just wanted to let you know that it's okay to grief. It takes strength to face our sadness and to grieve and to let our grief and our anger flow in tears when they need to. It takes strength to talk about our feelings and to reach out for help and comfort when we need it. I learned that, and i know you will too eventually."

She hugged him back and they sat on the couch for a while. After some time Chili stood up and hung the framed picture back on the wall. She looked at her mum. ''I also had nightmares after her death'' she said. ''I also heard her voice in my dreams blaming me for not being there for her. But it was in my head. It wasn't my mum, it was me. I was saying that in her voice to myself. Then i remembered that i talked with her almost every day on the phone and that our last conversation wasn't a angry one like expected, but a nice one. I then realised she would never blame her death on me or Brandy. Her last words to me where her saying she loved me, and my last words to her was me saying i loved her too.''

''That is also what i said to my parents and what my mum said to me when she jumped on me…to protect me…'' MacKenzie said softly and realising. It was a memory that just came back to him. One he did not have since he woken up. It came back to him now at this moment. He recalled his mum holding him tight to protect him before everything turned dark that night. Chili hugged MacKezie again. ''I'm sorry for you sweatheart. But just know, that everything will be alright''. MacKenzie with tears in his eyes thanked her for sharing her story with him and helping him understand something about grieving.

''Just one question. What happend to that boyfriend, that student you met in London?'' he asked her. Chili smiled. ''I married him and he is now snoring upstairs'' she said.

Chili then brought him back to his room and wished him a good night. In bed he thought about the conversation he had and realised what they had in common. He thought long and deep about the meaning of grief and understood that his mum and dad would not be angry at him, probably. He was having nightmares because of him. And he knew he had to deal wit hit. Soon after he fell asleep. Once again he had a dream that night. But it was a pleasant one this time. He and Bluey fishing at the mouth of the creek just having a lovely time together. Simple and sweet.

Meanwhile Chili went back to her bed also. She stared at the ceiling as she tought about her mum. She and MacKenzie had something in common. What MacKenzie was going through, she had went through. There was one difference. She did not loose both her parents and she had a sibling. He was all alone. But she knew how he felt and what he had to deal with. The blaming, the not understanding, a new reailty and a parent taken away from you by someone else.

Chili had not told MacKenzie the whole truth. His parents were taken away from him by a drunk idiot on the road. Her mother was also taken away from her by a drunk idiot. She didn't die of a aneurysm. She told MacKenzie that to hide the ugly truth which she thought would be to scary for him. Only Bandit, Frisky, Brandy and Mort knew the truth. She never told anyone else what really happend to her mother.

The rest of the story was true. She had a feeling that her mum knew and had a feeling herself she was going to die soon and that something was going to happen, it was true she had guilt of not staying and not coming back sooner then promised, it was true her dad found her mum behind her counter in her shop just a few hours before midnight and it was true how she felt afterwards. But the aneurysm bit wasn't true. Chili thought of it of what happend. How on the last day of 1999, her mum was closing her shop and way preparing to leave for home. How a drunk robber stormed in her shop and demanted with a pistol all the money she got. How her mum refused that, laughed at him, gave him her middle finger and told him to piss off. How he got offended by that and decided to.. shoot her in the head.

She knew of this because that is what the robber told the judge during his trial. He never showed any mercy and thought that the jury would feel sorry for him when he told that. They didn't. They gave him forty years without parole. The same day Bluey was born she recieved the news that he had died in jail. Stabbed to death by other inmates after an argument. It truly was the happiest day of her life that day.

She looked at Bandit next to her. He was snoring loudly and fast asleep. She smiled. She by now accepted how life dealt with her. She always thought it was her fault that her mum died because she didn't stay with her mum and helped her in the shop. And if she did she could have prevented the killing. But by now she was over her grief and realised something. If she didn't went backpacking with Frisky she never would have met Bandit, she would also probably have been shot death to during the robbery and Bluey and Bingo would never been born. That is what kept her going seventeen years later. It wasn't fair what happend to her mum, but it was the road life let her walk on to where she was now. And that was a thought that kept her happy. And she knew that MacKenzie was walking a similar path and that everything in the end would turn out the way it should be. And hopefully good.