Chapter 5 - Rescue

Warning: Suicidal thoughts, discussions of self-harming

~ Tirana Sorki

Tracking down the group of slaves isn't hard. The slavers moved them a distance away to keep anyone from getting to them. Obi-Wan goes to fly the ship in, while Anakin sneaks up on the slaves' position.

Freeing slaves like this was always his childhood dream. Back when he actually thought he was capable of helping people. Back when what was right or not was actually clear. He can't say he's wanted to do anything other than die since the moment he realized he couldn't die, but this... is something he does want to do.

He spots Kix in the middle of the group quickly as he jumps from the roof of the building, attacking the guards. He has to fight mostly with the Force because he's not in a physical state to be fighting hand-to-hand.

Drawing on the Force around anyone always makes him uncomfortable now. He can physically not find any measure of calm and peace enough to reach the Light anymore. All he can feel is the darkness, how is pain and misery and guilt fuel it. But drawing on the Dark Side in front of Windu was – way too uncomfortable for him. He's hardly used the Force at all since he was taken by him, until now at least because he doesn't have much other choice. He lets the Force flood through him now, lets his determination to finish this keep him moving. It's not really of the Dark Side but it's not really Light either.

Taking down the guards goes fast and Anakin turns to the slaves, snapping their restraints open with the Force.

Obi-Wan flies the ship in and Anakin calls for the slaves to get onto the ramp. He can feel the slavers closing in. They'll have to get out fast.

Kix appears at his side a second later. "General?" He looks relieved to see him again but most of all Anakin can see the anger simmering below the surface. He doesn't miss how he's very pointedly eyeing the blood stains on his back.

"Good to see you're alright," Anakin says, touching his shoulder. He's missed being around other people so much. Even if he's a danger to them. All his boys were being mind-controlled and he didn't even know it. He let them all die at the Temple.

"What happened? You said you were here with the other Jedi. That's not what it looked like." He sounds so confused and downright appalled.

Anakin doesn't know why it didn't occur to him until right now that Kix was standing right there and he saw what Windu did. All Anakin could think about that point was what was happening. Nothing else.

"It – it's complicated."

"He hurt you," Kix replies flatly, "I didn't know the Jedi did things like that."

They don't have time to talk about this right now. They need to move, to get out, but... Kix won't stop wondering unless he tells him something and Anakin kind of... wants to tell someone. Even if it might make Kix realize just what he is. Not that he could think any worse of Anakin than he does himself. "I – I thought Palpatine was right. I didn't realize what he was doing to you or your brothers until it was too late. The Jedi are... not forgiving of it."

Kix's eyes widen and he looks about to say something when a blaster shot rings out. Anakin yanks out his lightsaber – he'd found the dropped lightsaber he was supposed to be using not far from where he last saw Windu and had picked it up to use – deflecting the shot aside as several guards swarm into view, shooting at the slaves.

"Get on board!" Anakin yells to the others, scrambling to stand defensively in front of them. A few of the slaves fall but most of them are able to make it. Anakin jumps onto the ramp last before racing for the cockpit.

"I was beginning to think I'd have to come find you," Obi-Wan calls as Anakin slides into the copilot's seat next to him, taking over flying.

"When was the last time you had to rescue me?" Anakin snips back.

He's grateful he doesn't point out the very obvious saved him from Windu. Doesn't want to think about how far that would have gone if Obi-Wan hadn't intervened. Not that he could gone that far before Anakin bled to death. Bu to be fair, he wouldn't die even if he did bleed out so...

"Perhaps that time I pulled you from the shuttle you crashed – agh!" he yelps, as Anakin turns the ship sharply right as another ship flies into view, shooting at them.

The slavers are giving chase. They obviously have no intention of letting them go without a fight.

"I could've climbed out of the wreckage on my own," Anakin shoots back, sending the ship for another spin, "Are you waiting until we get shot down again to shoot back?"

"I was just getting to that," Obi-Wan huffs and Anakin decides not to call him out on the very obvious lie only because he kind of needs to focus right now – which is harder when everything is hurting so much. At least the action of the moment has him as distracted as he could ever be.

It takes time but they shoot their way past the group of pursuing ships, sending them crashing back for the surface, without taking too many hits themselves.

"You look green, Master," Anakin informs him cheerily as Obi-Wan slides back into his seat.

"No thanks to your horrendous flying," he grumbles.

"Just keeping us alive," he shoots back.

They're reaching the upper atmosphere now.

"Where should we... go?" Anakin asks, now that they're safely high in the atmosphere. Hopefully they've lost the trail of the slavers, too.

"I was thinking perhaps – "

And that's when Anakin senses it. Windu's Dark Force presence presses against his mind, through their overwhelming bond. He's awake now and he's – "Land the ship," he orders, the words vibrating through their connection.

Anakin jerks to a still stop, heart hammering wildly but he can't not – not – has to –

His hands seem to move of their own accord as he heads back for the ground.

No. no. This can't be happening. it can't be – they can't – he can't –

"What are you doing? We need to be going up," Obi-Wan says, annoyed.

Anakin's grip on the controls tightens. He says nothing. Couldn't get a word out anyway. His chest feels tight with terror – can't say he actually thought he'd be able to escape Windu but he thought – maybe – He doesn't even know. But he's about to have to see him again and he can't escape and what's he going to do to him –

"Anakin?" Obi-Wan asks, his crankiness rapidly morphing to concern, "Is it – him?"

He nods jerkily – can't break away from the mental connection Windu is literally forcing. He wants him to land at these specific coordinates and he doesn't want to know what will happen then. He wants to get out of here. To –

Wonders wildly if someone could just kill him so he'd have that bond with someone else, assuming that's how it works, but – but –

Can't say there's anyone he wants it to be.

Doesn't want anyone else to own him. Not – it's more than enough that the Jedi do. It's –

He brings the ship down jerkily, feeling it as Windu pulls back from his mind, just a little. Can't shake the awful sickening violated feeling and he also just wants to throw up. Hasn't eaten for so long that it would probably be a purposeless attempt, though.

"I'll go out there," Obi-Wan decides, standing. "I'm not letting him hurt you again."

Anakin swallows hard. "He wants me. If I don't go out there, he'll make me."

And he doesn't want to deal with that. It's enough to be forced into obedience constantly, too afraid to even try breaking away. He doesn't have to be literally mind-controlled into it. He can't even control his own mind anymore and that's the one thing he's always had and now he literally has nothing. It's terrifying and it leaves him feeling more helpless than he ever has and he's so angry by that too but – but –

Anakin stumbles to his feet unsteadily as he follows Obi-Wan.

For once, he's grateful that his former master is being overbearingly protective. He's also grateful that he's keeping himself very pointedly positioned in front of Anakin as they head to the ramp. Doesn't change that each step feels like he's walking to his doom but –

Force knows what's about to happen now. He never even got the chance to talk to Kix., even if he was able to free him. Doesn't want to lose him and Obi-Wan right when he just got them back, when –

Windu is standing at the bottom of the ramp, arms crossed, expression as severe as ever.

His heart sound of skips a few beats and he stills at the top of the ramp. Trying to hide his fear is nigh impossible. The last moment they were together replays through his mind again, and –

"Skywalker," he says, coldly.

"You're staying away from him," Obi-Wan warns, stalking to the bottom of the ramp.

"That's not a choice you get to make anymore, Obi-Wan," Windu replies flatly.

"But it's a choice he should get to make," he snaps back.

"He destroyed the Jedi," Windu snaps back and the guilt comes rushing back full force. The memories never stop haunting him and for all that he doesn't want to be a Jedi ever again, it doesn't change what he did. Doesn't change that he's a monster and – He killed people and he's making such a big deal out of being whipped. It's pathetic.

To be fair, if it wasn't the way masters always hurt their slaves, maybe it would bother him less.

"How can your attachment blind you even now? Wake up, Obi-Wan. He's a danger that you failed to contain so I'm doing it for you before your attachment to him gets anyone else killed."

Obi-Wan glowers at him. "I know what he did," he replies icily, "And I never said I was fine with it." Anakin tries not to flinch. It's not like he didn't already know that, but still. "And I also recall that you were the one who agreed to let Anakin see Palpatine in the first place. Maybe he wouldn't have been corrupted against the Jedi if not for that. And that doesn't change that you're breaking the Code in every way by hurting him."

Windu looks about to reply when a blaster shot goes off.

The Jedi master ducks instinctively and Anakin jolts, spinning around to see Kix holding a blaster, aimed at him.

In all the –

Windu spins around, realization quickly settling in his eyes and he reaches for his lightsaber.

Anakin knows exactly what that means. He's going to kill Kix and after everything he's seen Windu do, he doesn't doubt that he actually would go through with it. The blinding panic and rush of anger that flood him far overwhelm anything that Windu's ever done and he lashes out blindly, Force-throwing the Jedi master back. Kix fires several times the same moment, one of the blaster shots catching Windu straight in the heart.

There's a moment of absolute silence and then Anakin feels it as a splitting pain rips through his mind. Windu staggers a step but instead of collapsing he just disintegrates into nothing, Literal ash that whips away in the breeze. The exploding pain whites out everything in Anakin's mind the same moment and then everything spirals into darkness.

**w**

The world fades in slowly around Anakin. The first thing he becomes aware of is a hand touching his neck – checking his pulse. The feel is familiar. It must be –

"Kix?" Anakin rasps faintly, cracking his eyes open with difficulty. Force, he's exhausted. He's lying on his stomach somewhere... looks like the inside of the ship. Kix is crouched next to him, still dressed in his slave clothes.

"General?" he asks, expression instantly filling with relief, "I thought it would be longer before you woke up."

"How long?" he rasps, blinking a few times before the reality of the situation abruptly comes crashing down on him.

Windu was –

Force.

The panic surges tight and crushing in his chest but it hits him a second later that he can't... feel his bond with Windu anymore. For the first time since this happened his mind feels quiet somehow. He's never felt it this quiet in so long he nearly forgot what it was like. He's – he's free.

Isn't he?

It doesn't seem real. He should feel some kind of relief but all he feels is disbelief. He can't... even believe that it's true. He's too afraid something else is going to take his mind again. He can't trust himself to – to anything. Can't trust he won't lose that again. And someone else died because of him.

But this once, he doesn't really... care? He's too relieved that he won't have to be afraid of him hurting him anymore and he doesn't know what that says about him. But he already knew there's something wrong with him.

"What'd you do to him?" Anakin rasps, looking up at Kix. Can't forget the moment Windu literally turned into ash as though he wasn't even real.

"I just... shot him. I have no idea what happened to him," the medic replies flatly. He sounds about as mind-blown as Anakin himself feels.

"I cannot believe you did that," he replies.

"How couldn't I after what he did to you?" Kix asks fiercely. He sounds angry. Kix very rarely gets angry. Doesn't really feel like he deserves to have someone upset on his behalf, even now. He's... glad to be free but did he really deserve that either? To get back the chance to choose? Not that he's ever had that choice. Wouldn't know what to do with it if he did.

"I don't know what you did, General. I don't understand the details," Kix goes on, "But I don't doubt that you had reasons for it."

"I let your brothers be forced to do things against their will."

"Doesn't seem like you had much other choice either," Kix points out, bitterness lacing his voice.

"Before now I did."

"You followed orders, just like us clones have been trained to do. I don't doubt that you made the best of the situation that you could, sir. And I wouldn't advise stressing yourself about it when you're already injured."

Anakin maybe a little dramatically drops his head back onto the pillow. He really doesn't want to think at all right now, though. "I'm not that injured."

"You sustained a significant amount of blood loss and General Kenobi told me you were recovering from injuries that should have killed you. Both are potentially serious. You are also in a state of chronic exhaustion, which I suspect is a result of your near death – "

"Okay, okay," Anakin interrupts, giving him the weakest smile he can manage to muster in the hopes it'll bribe him into being quiet, "I'll rest but what's happening? Where's Obi-Wan? Where are we?"

"The slavers put a temporary blockade over the air space in the time you were down. General Kenobi decided that we should wait until you were up to fly us past it."

"Too afraid to do it himself?" Anakin asks dryly but if Obi-Wan really agreed to that, it must be a pretty serious blockade. "Well... I think I need to get us out of here first or no one will be getting out alive. Or free."

Kix doesn't look happy but there's a shadow in his eyes that Anakin knows is from experiencing slavery – traces of fear are also lingering in the Force around him. He's afraid of being recaptured. Of course he is.

Anakin pushes himself to his feet, wincing at how unbearably soar is back is. It's healing but it's not easy to move. He stands, touching Kix's shoulder in silent gratitude for... everything really.

"General Kenobi wanted to say but... I had to kick him out so he wouldn't disturb you."

"You kicked him out?" Anakin asks with a snort, "I doubt he was too appreciative of that."

"Not in the slightest."

"I should go ease his worries." He turns to go.

"Sir?" Kix asks. He looks almost uncomfortable for some reason.

Anakin frowns. "Is something wrong?"

"It's just... I checked over your injuries to make sure they were stable. I'm only asking because of concern for your... present physical state but have you been harming yourself?"

He –

What?

How did he know that?

"I – " No point in lying about it even if a flicker of shame coils through him. "Yes."

Kix nods a little, expression tight. "That's what it... looked like. I've seen some of the boys do that before."

"I suppose you intend to tell me how foolish it is," Anakin says ruefully. Which he already knows but it helps and that's what needed when he was trapped with Windu. Better that than the fear and guilt smothering him, past a point he could even handle. It was the only outlet he had, the only outlet no one could take away from him. And at least it was something he could choose even if it wasn't much. Could choose when to cause it and choose when it could end.

"I know telling you that won't help," Kix replies, though he's almost visibly squirming, "The boys who had problems with that – I know they used it to deal with things they were having difficulties with. Stopping only made those issues harder but harming yourself is not healthyeither. I would say finding a better outlet for whatever is troubling you would be... better. If you're able to."

The fact that he didn't judge him at all for it means a lot. He didn't realize it was a thing people did, honestly. Or that some of his boys were doing it even if he can't say he's surprised. Still feels sick about it. He was never able to do enough for them. For anyone. "Thank you, Kix," Anakin tells him sincerely, "I – I'll think about it."

With Windu gone, maybe there's a chance he can think about that seriously. Maybe.

**w**

Obi-Wan thinks he should probably feel something over Windu's death, the death of one of the few remaining Jedi, but all he feels is a vicious satisfaction. To be fair, Windu was hardly a Jedi anymore anyway. Not with how he was acting. How long was that true and he never even noticed it?

But with the Windu crisis momentarily averted, he still doesn't know what to do. He hasn't been able to find any traces of calm since the Order fell. Doesn't know if he ever will again. The only thing he has left now is... Anakin.

Anakin who also helped destroy them.

He still doesn't know how to face that but – at least he's alive. If he hadn't seen Anakin dead, thought him gone for weeks, he can't say how he would have handled it... but right now that's what matters to him most. Anakin was always the center of his focus, the lightest and most meaningful moments he had throughout his life. That was true especially during the war, even if the moments then were far more fleeting, for all that it felt like they were growing apart.

But maybe now he can do something to change that. He – he's more afraid of losing him again than he is angry at him, even if it's hard to deal with both. But most of all, he's worried about him. Anakin needs his help and he doesn't think he's ever once been able to give him what he needs. Sometimes, it feels like he should give up trying before he makes it worse but... he can't do that now, seeing how broken he was.

He's sensing traces of the Dark Side are right now, though, which is why he stepped outside the ship in the first place. There's something coming and it feels familiar, but he can't place what it is. It's too... elusive.

A sudden noise behind him startles him and he look up sharply. But this time it's only Anakin, slowly moving down the ramp, a little unsteadily.

His face is still pale but he looks a little better than earlier. Though that isn't saying much.

"Anakin!" he exclaims, scrambling over to him, "You're awake." He was so worried when he'd just collapsed for no apparent reason. Obi-Wan has no idea how that kind of bond breaking would affect him. He'd been so terrified for a moment that he was going to die too because Windu had. His Force presence had still been burning with a quiet brilliance even when he was unconscious but that doesn't mean he wasn't scared.

It's strange to feel Anakin's overwhelming Force presence back the way it used to. It's dimmer now, the fire of it flickering dully like it's struggling to stay there but at least traces of Windu aren't still flowing through it. He still doesn't know why that was happening.

"I'm sleepwalking," Anakin informs him cheerily, though the smile fails to meet his eyes just like it has this entire time.

"You appear to be," Obi-Wan grouses, touching his arm, "Are you alright?"

"Getting better," he assures, eyes narrowing as his gaze shifts past Obi-Wan, drifting across their surroundings. "Something is – "

"Wrong, yes. I have a bad feeling."

Movement behind him catches his attention and he whips around right as a figure steps out of the shadows – it's night now.

But after how many times he's seen this figure during the war, he could recognize her anywhere.

"Ventress?" Anakin asks incredulously.

The Nightsister – who is supposed to be dead – saunters a little closer, eyeing them. "Wouldn't have expected to see you two out here."

"How are you alive?" Obi-Wan demands, eyeing her warily. This isn't even possible.

"I have more lives left in me," she snips as though that answers anything.

"What are you doing here?" Anakin demands.

"I could ask you the same."

"... Don't tell me you were the 'Jedi' we were coming to rescue," Obi-Wan says grumpily. They better not have wasted all this time for Ventress. Maybe she's changed a bit from who she was during most of the war but that doesn't mean he likes her in the slightest. She's still forever tainted by the Dark Side. It still clings to her and...

Unwittingly, his eyes dart to Anakin. Even Anakin still feels lighter, just far more depressed, but he... imagines that the Dark Side will always influence Anakin too now. Doesn't quite know how to feel about that. He trained Anakin to be a Jedi, tried to make him better than what Obi-Wan knows he himself could ever be, and... Anakin still Fell. Obi-Wan failed his promise to Qui-Gon. He failed Anakin in more ways than he knows how to begin fixing.

Maybe Windu wasn't entirely wrong that it's fault Anakin Fell but he doesn't know where he went wrong, what he should have done differently. Maybe – maybe he can try to ask Anakin himself later. The mere thought makes him uncomfortable but he needs to know and there's no one else who could tell him.

"I should hope not. Your rescues aren't much to look forward to," she replies with a snort, her gaze skirting to Anakin again. Obi-Wan defensively takes a step closer, just in case... something. "I didn't realize the Jedi would stoop low enough to use a Life Bond."

Is that what those are called...?

"What do you know of such things?" Obi-Wan demands, eyes narrowing.

Anakin tenses up behind him.

"I've been watching you. Saw the control your Order head was using over Skywalker here." She flicks a hand carelessly and it makes Obi-Wan unreasonably angry that she's acting so flippant about something that awful. "The night sisters have a similar thing but it forms less naturally."

"How – how does it... work?" Anakin asks, a strangled note in his voice even if he's trying to hide it. He looks so exhausted it pulls at something in his heart. He wants to see him happy, to – He doesn't even know.

"Whoever gets lucky enough to kill someone like that – " He's going to strangle her and he means it. " – gets their life sucked out to restore the other Force being to life. It starts destroying them. How long it takes depends on injury severity. And how much the other is hurt."

"Windu's life was being... drained?" Obi-Wan repeats. Maybe that's why his eyes were black. Because he was dying. Is that why he was being so irrational? It might be but he genuinely doesn't want to hear an excuse for it even if it makes a shadow of sense.

"Yeah. Guess it means the Force likes Skywalker." She waves a hand at Anakin. "But I suppose the mental control is unpleasant. Comes because your life is presently from them or something." She shrugs. "I'll be on my way unless you boys would like to enjoy my company a little longer."

"I've never found it appealing," Obi-Wan tells her flatly.

"Good," Ventress shoots back, turning and disappearing away into the shadows.

Well that was...

Weird.

Now it's probably time they get off the planet while they still can.

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