'What. Is. That?'
Miranda glared at the t-shirt and back at Max.
'You are not giving Inés that for her birthday.'
Max shrugged.
'Thought it was fun. So she can stay in her forties for a while.'
Miranda was speechless for exactly ten seconds.
'Are you having a stroke?' Checked Max in concern.
Miranda's face twitched.
'Do you know what this means?'
She brandished the fabric in his face. He shrugged.
'Mum in late forties.'
Miranda's face twitched. She blinked for a few seconds.
'Yes. Yes it does. I forgot about Ura. Good job Max.'
She handed it back, keeping her face composed.
'What the fuck?'
Miranda grinned.
'Showtime.'
The clown had entered the bar. It took exactly ten seconds for him to irritate Inés. Miranda noted that as a record.
'It's MILF time!'
Miranda tried not to laugh. Tried very hard. Inés stared at him in amazement. Luisa started snorting. Miranda couldn't resist telling her as the end was nigh. The t-shirt was produced and handed over to a stunned Inés. Roberto whistled.
'Classic.'
'I don't have children' pointed out a nonplussed Inés.
Max beamed.
'Yes you do. Ura.'
He pointed to the little dog. Inés stared at him. For a further few seconds.
'It's a joke t-shirt.'
'Are you soliciting offers for my annual birthday one night stand?' Asked Inés, icily polite.
'Would it help?'
Miranda slapped a hand over her mouth, willing herself not to laugh.
'Are you sure you know what it means?' Enquired Roberto.
'Mum in late forties.'
Roberto scrutinised the offending face carefully to a soundtrack of female laughter.
'Amazing' he murmured. 'Not one ounce of awareness.'
'It doesn't mean that?'
Luisa cackled.
Inés gestured for Roberto to explain and turned back to her drink. Roberto duly translated. Max turned red.
'Shit.'
'Get this ridiculous thing out of my sight. Winter, stay on the other side of Blake so I don't have to see much of you' instructed Inés wearily. Held up a hand to halt his apologies. Max marched round, face aflame.
'Why didn't you tell me what this means?' Hissed Max.
'Google is free' shrugged Miranda. 'But you beat your personal best in ten seconds.'
Max's punishment for the evening was alcohol free beer.