Before we get started—huge shoutout to milkduds100 and their amazing story "A Second Chance" for being the first one to cook up this concept. Fantastic story, please give it a read. Thank you.

"Push! You're almost there! Push!"

It was the worst pain of her life, without a doubt. She'd long since given up her cheery facade, deafening herself with her own guttural cries, praying to any god willing to listen that it was almost over. Tears were running freely down her face, her grip on the bed unrelenting. Still, she pushed, exhaustion and delirium convincing her that she was only seconds away from it finally being over.

Another wave of agony, another pained shout. "You're almost there!" The labor nurse urged, encouraging her as best she could. "Keep pushing!" She almost found it within herself to snap back at the woman—couldn't she see that was what she'd been doing this entire time? For what had felt like an eternity? The woman didn't deserve it, and it would have been horrible for her own image and reputation, but she didn't care. She just wanted the pain to end.

If this misery was the end result, she resolved herself to one thing. Hoshino Ai would never have unprotected sex again.

"I can see him!" Her obstetrician, a woman she'd only met briefly, announced over her anguished cries. Ai could feel him—like he was tearing her in two. And he was only the first baby. She still had another to push and deliver.

She'd wanted this, she reminded herself. A C-section would leave scars on her body, and she couldn't have that. She was an idol after all. And the second they hit the stage, idols were supposed to be perfect, without blemishes.

Feeling a second wind catch her, she pushed harder than ever before. Finally, she felt him pop out of her, into the obstetrician's waiting hands. Time seemed to speed up then—she could vaguely make out the labor nurse feeling around her abdomen, nodding to the doctor as she was given her first baby, before pushing all over again—and when time returned to her, it was done.

"How are you feeling?" Her nurse asked, cradling two babies. Her babies.

"Good," she lied, breathless. Ai would never give up her act, even if she was exhausted. She was a professional, after all.

She was given her two babies, cradling them both carefully. Like they would break if she squeezed too hard, or slip if she held them too loosely. "Are you sure I can hold them?" She asked, quietly uncertain.

The nurse laughed. "Of course! They're your children, after all. Kangaroo care actually has many positive effects, for both the children and the mother. We encourage most mothers to do so if they're physically able."

She helped Ai open her hospital gown in the front and draped a blanket across the three of them. With her bare skin pressing against her newborn children, she could feel their heat against her own. Their tiny pulses, their soft breathing. They weren't crying. Wasn't that a bad thing? For all the counseling she'd had in her prenatal education sessions, she could remember none of it at the moment.

They were so small. So very, very small. Yet, she couldn't fathom how they had both come out of her. How had she managed such a thing? She'd never been a big believer in miracles, but for these two living beings to come out of her tummy... what else could it have been?

The baby in her left arm, her boy, slowly opened his eyes, revealing a lively blue. He was silent, seeming to take in his surroundings curiously. Similarly, her baby girl in her right arm stirred, and Ai was met with a striking red gaze. Neither of them made a sound. Surely babies were much louder than this, right?

"Congratulations, Miss Hoshino," her obstetrician spoke quietly, rising from her position beneath her. Even behind her mask, Ai could see that she was genuinely happy for her. "You've given birth to a beautiful set of twins. You did a wonderful job."

Beautiful. They'd only been birthed mere minutes ago. Were they already beautiful? Who could determine that? They were her children, yes, but still...

Her children were staring at her. Their heat remained firmly pressed against her breasts. Her children, her children... they were family. The three of them. Before, it had been her mother, but they'd never been much of a family. Not in the traditional sense of the word, anyway.

But these small, tiny babies... they were born from her. She'd brought them into the world. Chosen to keep them, when all common sense told her to abort them for the sake of her career. Her life would never be the same—but then, she didn't feel dread when she came to that realization. She didn't feel much of anything, really. It was a blank slate for her. Entirely up to what she would do now.

Idols could not be mothers. Mothers could not be idols. The two lifestyles naturally opposed each other, but Ai didn't care. If there hadn't been a woman who had successfully managed to juggle the two yet, then she would simply have to become the first. Because these two were her family.

A rush of emotion almost overwhelmed her, but she didn't dare indulge it. Not now. Instead, she chose to focus on her babies, and the beautiful color of their respective eyes.

"Aquamarine," she whispered.

"I'm sorry?" The nurse asked, confused.

"Their names," Ai smiled softly. "He'll be Aquamarine. And she'll be Ruby. My handsome Aquamarine, and my beautiful Ruby." She was crying, she noticed, but she didn't care. She deserved a good cry after these last few months.

Hoshino Aquamarine, and Hoshino Ruby. Her babies. Her family.

Ai's smile turned to laughter, despite her fatigue.

"You—are so—cuuute!" Ai cooed, spinning her baby around. "How on earth did you get so cute so quickly?"

"Kyuu!" Ruby attempted to mimic, laughing merrily as she spun. It took every urge within Ai's body not to hug her baby girl to death. Ruby was too cute, even for her! And she was an idol! She'd be out of a job in a few years if her baby kept this up!

Not wanting to neglect her other twin, she put Ruby down. "And what about you, Aqua? Uppies?"

Her baby boy, meanwhile, only turned his head away with a pout. "Buh," he mumbled in baby-speak, like he was spitting on the idea of being treated like the infant he was.

"Oh, look at my little man," Ai giggled, softly poking his fat, squishy cheeks. "You're so big and tough. You're gonna be such a heartbreaker when you get into high school, I just know it!"

Aquamarine must have understood her on some level, as he appeared to take exception to her comments. "Bleh," he balked, quickly crawling away from his mother.

"Ooh, you're so cute when you're mad!" Ai squealed. "And you're cute when you eat, and sleep, and poop yourself! You're both just too adorable for words! My babies!" She swept both of her children into her arms once more, laughing and spinning without a care.

"You're gonna damage the brats' ears if you keep yellin' like that," a voice drawled. Saitou Ichigo strolled into her living room, his wife not far behind him. "Never mind if the entire apartment complex finds out that the loud lady babbling to her infant children like a crazy person is actually an aspiring idol one overheard conversation away from letting her own scandal hit the public."

"Oh, silly manager! I thought you had me move in here 'cause there wasn't anybody else in this complex?" Ai winked, sticking her tongue out for effect.

"The only people living in this dump are people who know to mind their own business," Ichigo muttered. "And I'd prefer to keep it that way. So keep the yellin' down, will ya?"

Ai gave an exaggerated salute. "Yes, sir!"

Her manager wheeled a large whiteboard into the living room, right in front of the TV. "Alright, people. Ai just got the go ahead to get back to work, so we gotta go big to make up for the lost time and profit. That means a packed schedule for B-Komachi."

It was true. Her postpartum period had gone well, once the emotional and physical toll of her first week post-pregnancy had passed. Her mood had stabilized, her appetite had balanced itself, and she'd been declared fit for regular exercise and work after a six-week checkup. Which meant an immediate return to idol work.

"I've got a big return concert lined up for us in a week," Ichigo announced, pointing to the board. "We've been teasing for the past month-plus, so this week will be spent ramping up rehearsals for the real thing, while also getting Ai back in top shape. The rest of the girls should be ready to go."

"Gosh, only a week," Ai murmured, placing a finger on her chin. "You sure are throwing me into the deep end, Mister Manager."

"Because I know you can do it," Ichigo replied unflinchingly. "You're the center. B-Komachi's main attraction. I wouldn't plan this with such urgency if I thought you couldn't handle it."

Ai's faux unease washed away instantly. "I know~" she giggled. "I'll give it my very best!"

She didn't like to sound full of herself, but she was well aware that B-Komachi went as she did. When she'd been forced into her brief hiatus, B-Komachi had seen most of their demand die down, if not evaporate completely. It was through no fault of the rest of the girls—and really, Meimei had done her best to keep the group afloat as the center in her absence—but it spoke to how desperately they needed her. Without Ai, B-Komachi went from a group on the fast track to stardom to another run-of-the-mill gaggle of cute girls dancing on a stage.

Which meant she owed it to them to get back to her best as soon as she could. Their entire livelihoods depended on if Ai could return to her superstar form after an entire twin pregnancy. And more than that, she wanted to prove that she was still the top-class idol she knew she was.

"So, when do we start?" Ai asked, already standing and performing some preliminary stretches. She wouldn't even bother hiding how eager she was to get back to work anymore.

"Today," Ichigo smirked, and Ai felt the excitement growing on her face. "This very afternoon. We can leave right now and get there early."

"Then let's go!" Ai was already halfway to the door before skidding to a stop. "Wait, my babies! We need to take them with us!"

"No, that's the last thing we need to do right now," Ichigo quickly shut that idea down. "In case you forgot, those brats are supposed to be a secret. Parading them around in public on the way to rehearsal is the exact opposite of keeping them a secret."

"But then, who's gonna watch them while I'm gone?" Ai frantically questioned. "Plus, they deserve to know how awesome of an idol their mama is! Especially Ruby!"

"Ignoring that last part," the manager sighed. "Miyako has graciously offered to watch your children while we're gone." The woman in question seemed to quietly scoff at the notion of graciously, but otherwise held her tongue. "She'll keep them safe, and hidden."

Ai turned to her manager's wife with a hopeful, starry expression. "You'd really do that for me, Miyako?"

The woman seemed caught off guard, forming an uneasy response. "Um... of course. It's the least I can do."

"Yay!" Ai cheered. "Thank you, Miyako! I owe you for this!"

"Any time," Miyako managed, her smile plainly forced, even to Ai. She wouldn't press. It was enough that Miyako would watch her children for her, even if the woman didn't seem all that excited about it.

With that settled, Ai quickly changed and donned her disguise atop her athletic attire. Mere minutes later, she was kneeling in front of her babies on the couch. "Be good for Miss Miyako, okay? Mama's gonna be very upset if she finds out you misbehaved!"

Aqua seemed to shake his head, as if offended by the thought, while Ruby simply draped herself on her arm, unwilling to let her go. It was enough to make Ai melt. "Oh, I couldn't possibly be upset with you two! You're just too adorable!"

"Ai," her manager urged from the entryway.

"Coming~" she called, turning to her children one last time. "Mama'll be back soon, okay? Aqua, watch over your sister. Ruby, make sure your brother doesn't hurt himself." Receiving two affirmative nods, Ai grinned. "My perfect little babies. What'd I ever do to get so lucky?"

Painstakingly managing to separate herself from her son and daughter, she thanked Miyako one more time before following Ichigo to the door. Stuffing the long tresses of her hair beneath her ballcap, she took a breath as she greeted the outside world once more. Not as a mother, but as an idol.

Indeed, she'd give it her very best. And the world would never be ready for her best.

Ai maybe wasn't the smartest of girls, but even she knew that her kids were a little different than most toddlers.

For one, they were so well-behaved. Aqua in particular. Ruby still showed sudden mood swings and bursts of excitement like most girls her age did (and oh, how Ruby loved to be nursed!), but Ai sometimes thought that Aqua acted like a fully grown man stuffed into the body of a newborn boy. He was quiet most of the time, almost never complained, and didn't really show much enthusiasm in playing with his toys. In fact, he seemed to enjoy turning on the TV and watching the news more than anything else. Just like a fully grown man would!

She didn't know whether or not that was normal, but even if it wasn't, what would she be able to do about it? She was still so new to being a mother. Sometimes she wondered if she was too involved in her children's lives, or if she doted on them too much. But then, her perfect little angels would always comfort her and tell her she was a great mom. Which was another thing about them—they were so darn smart, they could already form full sentences! Either she was a great teacher, or the super genius trait must have been genetic!

Maybe it was normal for mothers to worry about their children too much. But for all her worry, it sounded like it was apparently normal for kids to develop quickly. When she'd brought up the idea of getting them screened to Miyako, the woman had decided against it, saying that children grew at different paces. "Some kids are just naturally smart when they're born," Ai remembered her saying. Miyako seemed to have really grown a soft spot for her kids after the first few times she'd babysat, so if she said it was alright, she'd take her word for it.

Still, that didn't mean she'd spare any expense in making sure her babies were safe and healthy. Even after child-proofing her apartment, she regularly made sure to check every nook and cranny for anything that could potentially harm her twin infants. She'd never been all that knowledgeable about food or nutrition before her pregnancy, but she'd devoted herself to learning everything she could about properly feeding her babies the second they were ready for solids. And above all else, she made sure to spend every waking moment she wasn't working with the two of them, so that they knew they could always count on their mother for anything.

It was such a new feeling. She had only ever lived for her job before. Nothing had demanded her attention like motherhood. Not even idol work. That thought sent a bit of a shiver down her spine, for some reason.

"Ai!" Watanabe called out to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. "Everything alright? We're about to go on!"

Were they? She saw the rest of their group waiting in the wings, game faces on. She was already in her idol outfit. Gosh, how could she lose her focus like that?

"Yup! Sorry!" Ai gave her trademark wink, poking her tongue out. "It's just been so long! I'm a bit nervous!"

Watanabe didn't look like she believed that for a second. "You? Nervous? Ai, I've almost never seen you get nervous before a concert." Her grip softened a bit. "Are you sure you're okay? Is there something bothering you?"

No, there wasn't. She really was fine. Once she got herself psyched up again, she'd go out there and kill it, like she always did. She'd just been caught thinking about her kids, was all.

She was a professional. Today was meant to remind the world of that fact. That B-Komachi's Hoshino Ai was back, and better than ever.

"I'm fine, really," she grinned. "I'm just eager to get out there and wow everybody. It's been so long, it feels like my first concert again!"

Watanabe let her hand linger for a moment, before finally relenting. Whether or not she genuinely believed her was another story, but it didn't matter. "Okay," she nodded, before gesturing toward the crowd in front of the stage with a sad smile. "Well, you definitely won't be put off by the crowd number, at least. We've had fan sign events bigger than this turnout."

That was fine. Crowd size wasn't the point of today. The mini-concert they were doing wasn't so much to entertain a venue, but to send a message. The idol group B-Komachi—and more importantly, Ai—were back in action. It would be streamed in real time, and broadcasted on multiple channels, she'd been told. Ichigo hadn't been lying when he said he'd been teasing this concert for a while, and he'd done his part in drawing the media attention they would need.

Now, it fell on them to fulfill their part of the bargain. Put on a show, get trending, and lie as best they could.

"B-Komachi, thirty seconds," a staff member called out. Falling in line with the rest of the group, she waited until the same member nodded toward them again. "B-Komachi, you're on!"

Ai took a breath, and let the energy course through her. Her step was light, her movement purposeful. And more than that, she knew she was dazzling, as she let her prettiest smile ease onto her face.

Watanabe hadn't been lying—the crowd was small, even compared to their earlier concerts when they'd only just started out. There were only barely more fans than crew members and stage technicians. They'd been spread out in their seats to give off the illusion of numbers, but that was purely a TV trick.

"Our Sign Is B" was the call for the show today. A classic for their group, their initial breakout hit, and to this day their most popular and well-known song. Ai knew the choreography so well by this point, she could take her own little detours throughout the song's routine and add her own extra flair to it with essentially zero risk of disturbing the group's overall composition. She debated the benefit of doing so as she entered her first few steps, and let the lyrics fly from her mouth.

Immediately, she knew she had the crew in her palm. They looked at her with awe, all starstruck, as if whatever god they believed in had manifested through her. Whatever rude or unsavory comments she was almost certain they'd been sharing among each other looked to be completely forgotten. Even the executives, with their cigarettes and cologne and wrinkled faces, had their attention firmly trained on her. Not even the rest of B-Komachi—their eyes were locked solely onto Hoshino Ai.

She felt flawless, invincible. Any worries of her personal life were thrown away in this moment, discarded for the facade she'd spent her life cultivating and perfecting. The few fans dispersed in the studio were nearly hysterical, fully bought into her lie.

It was perfect. Everything she'd been, and more. Like she'd never even gotten pregnant in the first place.

And then all that invincibility came and went. A misstep—she'd missed a cue, or maybe someone else had hit theirs too quickly. A minor slip up if it was rehearsal, but in heels, moving as fast as she did, and currently on live television and in front of a live audience, it took all she had to play it off as purposeful. Her mind blared with internal alarms about how she'd been forced to recover a few too many centimeters to her right, meaning she was right in Kyun's airspace. Kyun, bless her, didn't react overtly, but they both knew that Kyun's solo segment was in jeopardy if Ai couldn't get out of the way before she started singing and dancing again. Which, given that they were posing and supposed to be frozen only until they sang, meant an incredibly awkward reposition from Ai that would look totally out of place and unprofessional.

Had she ever made that mistake before? Had she ever made any mistakes before? 'Of course you have,' her mind immediately reminded her. So many people online and on social media were only too eager to point them out, after all. Her breath control was poor. Her steps were too heavy. She dominated too much of the spotlight and the solos. Her skirt was sometimes hitched up too high, which obviously meant she was a no-good slut who had slept her way into becoming the ace. Never mind how much work went into her performances—to those people, her lies still weren't enough. Would never be enough.

'I don't really get it. You're the ones who wanted something almost inhuman, aren't you?'

The way she narrowed her eyes, how she crinkled the corners of her mouth, down to how she blinked; it was all calculated. Everything she did was designed with the idea of what would be the most pleasing. The best lies she could come up with, all for the world to see and adore. What more did they want from her? What more could she reasonably give that she already hadn't?

It would never be enough. But did it have to be? Why couldn't it be? Perfection was the ideal, but was she not their perfect Ai?

Thoughts of her horrible position faded when, inexplicably, all eyes turned away from the stage. A death sentence for most idol groups that normally spelled the end of any prospective careers—no serious idols were ever shunned on stage—but it was not due to her mistake. Rather, a disturbance had caught their eye, drawing even some of the crew's attention away from the stage briefly.

Glowsticks. Red ones, meaning they were her fans. But what fans they were! Small, tiny, still in strollers it looked like, but performing an immaculate routine with the glowsticks that not even fully grown adults could manage without a slip-up or two. And wow, Miyako was there too! But Miyako was supposed to be back at the apartment, watching her—

Two blonde heads. One with red eyes, the other with blue.

She couldn't fight the grin that threatened to split her face in two. She only barely managed to conceal the overjoyed squeal building in her throat. As it was, she probably appeared as though she was laughing at the antics of two zealous fans performing an immaculate dance while still in diapers. With the public completely unaware that those fans were her own flesh and blood.

'My babies are so CUTE~!'

The energy that surged through her was almost spiritual. Before she knew it, she was dancing and singing again, with a vigor and precision she'd never felt before. Every step was executed, every note hit. But perhaps most importantly, her smile came the easiest. She sang and grinned and even giggled, all the while eyeing her babies from the corner of her eye, both of whom seemed to have gone still after being caught by literally everyone attending, and even a few cameras. She'd get an earful for that later, and poor Miyako would definitely get much worse than that from her husband for having let them out of the house to begin with.

But she didn't care about that right now. This feeling was new. Raw, and maybe a little dangerous considering it was born in the middle of a performance. But again, she didn't care. It felt so right. So wonderful. How had she never felt this before, throughout all her time as an idol?

The song ended, sticking her pose with a huff as the crowd applauded. 'Because it's not something born from being an idol,' her mind decided for her as her eyes found her children again.

And wasn't that a thought?

"Two-hundred and ten thousand retweets," Miyako shakily read aloud. "And two million views... within two hours... I get it's easier for content featuring babies to go viral, but still!"

Saitou was silent. As were Aqua and Ruby. Ai didn't particularly mind that for now, seeing as she was nose deep into her Twitter mentions, scrolling through post after post. A surprising amount featuring former antis and haters suddenly praising how cute and talented she was.

Most notably, they couldn't help but mention how perfect Ai looked.

"I see," she hummed airily. "So this is good, huh?"

She couldn't fight the laugh that spilled from her lips. "I'll have to keep that in mind."

Time passed, things changed—and wasn't having much more money to her name nice?—but Ai had to reconcile with the fact that her babies were growing up when she found her darling Ruby attempting to dance by her lonesome in the studio.

"Oh? Dance practice?" She came to a knee behind Ruby, dressed in her adorable hoodie she'd had custom made just for her. "What's the occasion?"

Ruby, normally so talkative, bit her lip and lowered her gaze. "Nothin'," she mumbled.

Ai so desperately wanted to embrace her and make her laugh, but Miyako had been stressing restraint to her when it came to spoiling her babies. "Pamper them too much, and you'll end up being a doormat parent who lets their kids walk all over them," she'd explained to her. It was tough, but she had to stay strong and let her kids express how they felt and attempt to find their own solutions before jumping in.

For now, that meant not prying. But that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy some mommy-daughter bonding time! "How about you and I dance together? We'll be performing an old song at our next concert, so I gotta get some practice in before then!"

That seemed to perk Ruby up. "Yes! I wanna watch mama!"

So precious! "Okay! I'll set up and we can get right to it!"

"HEART's KISS" was one of the group's original songs, back when it had just been her, Takamine, Niino, and Watanabe. The fans had been clamoring for a rendition involving the newer members for some time now, especially in the months since they'd gained a larger following. The concert was already sold out, with the exception of a few lottery tickets that would be given out in the following days, meaning a packed house was expected to eagerly anticipate the group's newest spin on a classic.

Step, one, step, one. Step one two and step, one. Hardly as strenuous as some of their more upbeat, high energy songs, but less movement meant more emphasis on timing and positioning, especially when mistakes couldn't be glossed over by quickly transitioning into the next cue. She'd done this particular routine hundreds of times, so tonight's impromptu felt like more of a test of muscle memory than anything else.

Surprisingly, her daughter didn't seem to think so. "Mama, your choreography's off!"

Ai froze midway into her pose. "Huh?"

"At your IdolCon performance, your hand was a bit higher! And your legs weren't so spread apart!" She attempted to mimic the pose, though seemed to struggle keeping her balance. "Like... like this!"

Ruby wasn't much of a dance instructor, but she was cute, so that was more than okay. "Aww, so you watch my concert videos? I'm impressed you can remember that long ago!" And that was the truth—that performance had been from before she was even pregnant with Ruby, back when B-Komachi was still pretty obscure. Ruby must have been a big fan, to research her concerts from that far back!

"How did it go again?" Ai asked, smiling. With some hesitation, Ruby assumed her pose. "At this point you went high. Your hand was almost above your head. And then, you—woah!"

Suddenly, Ruby fell with a thud onto the wooden floor, not hard enough to draw blood but definitely enough to hurt. It was all the same to Ai, who immediately scanned Ruby for any injuries. "Oh! Ruby, are you okay?"

"Uh-huh," Ruby answered gingerly, face still planted against the floor.

Ai frowned. "Ruby, with the way you dance... it's like you think you're about to fall over most of the time."

A sniffle. Ruby was crying. Oh, how she hated to see her cry. She was much too cute for tears. Ai would know—she didn't really like herself when she cried, either. Too many emotions, too many reminders of the bad times.

When she cried as a kid, looking to her mom for comfort hadn't ever been something she'd considered. That probably ended up being a good thing, since she wouldn't have trusted her mother to do anything beyond hitting her like she usually did. But just because she was successful now didn't mean doing nothing had been the right thing to do. It didn't make it hurt any less at the time.

So, what should she have done? Coddle her, tell her it would be alright, or give her the space she needed to let her register and express her emotions? She'd received so much advice about being a parent from Miyako and the internet, but in all honesty, she'd never been good at retaining most of it. She wasn't good at remembering most things if it wasn't related to idol work. It had been easy when they were babies, but helping to manage their emotional development was really, really hard.

It was times like these that she wished she had a partner that knew what to do. That would step in for her and take care of her children—their children—when she was at a loss. It was enough to keep her up at night, sometimes. But she didn't like to think about that— couldn't afford to think about that. It was already done. He wasn't coming back, and honestly, she didn't really want him back.

So for now, she'd help her daughter the only way she knew how. Carefully scooping Ruby up by her armpits, she lifted her to her feet. "If you keep thinking about how you're gonna fall over, you'll just gonna fall even more."

She angled Ruby so that she could see them both in the mirror. Then flashed her winning smile. "Stand confident. Chest out, eyes up, big smile. Do that, and you'll be fine." She winked. "Trust me, mama's a pro."

Ruby rubbed some of her tears away. "... really?"

"Yup!"

"Promise?"

"Mama promises." She laughed. "In fact, I'm so sure of it, if my advice doesn't help you, I'll call my manager right now and tell him I'm retiring!"

Ruby started flailing in panic. "N-no! Don't retire, mama! Not while you're just beginning your ascension to stardom!" How did her little girl already know such big words? She really was a genius!

Returning to her feet, Ruby took up the song's opening stance. Rewinding the song, Ai found a spot near the corner of the studio, out of the way of Ruby's routine. Ruby shot her a nervous glance; Ai reassured her with a smile. She gave her a brief brief countdown, and pressed play.

The professional in her couldn't help but immediately note her daughter's mistakes. Her smile was off, clearly uneasy, and she'd started a half second late, meaning she was almost an entire beat off of her cues. Ruby's eyes continued scanning her surroundings in anticipation of where to go next instead of being trained solely on where the crowd would have been, a huge no-no for any idol. If you were ignoring the fans who paid to see you perform, intentionally or not, it defeated the entire point of being a fan in the first place. Why would they bother coming to see you again?

Ruby almost slipped, and Ai's heart lurched. That surprised her—she felt more nervous watching her own daughter perform in front of a crowd of one than she did when she herself went out on stage in front of tens of thousands. She only just noticed how she'd been gripping her hands closely, knuckles almost white. It'd been so long since she'd felt so tangibly worried about someone other than herself, it was almost foreign.

Her thoughts had briefly distracted her from Ruby. Her little girl had gotten back on track slightly, getting into a groove as she returned to the correct timing. Her eyes traveled less, her footing more certain. Perhaps most importantly, however, her body moved freely and nimbly, unafraid of falling.

Nerves were replaced with a swell of pride. It took all she had to swallow any cheers of encouragement, since it would have almost certainly distracted Ruby and broken her from the trance she'd found herself in. Much like her worry, her delight felt total and full, rushing throughout her entire body. Such massive swings in her mood were surely bad for her, even as she refused to tear her eyes away from her daughter.

She was like water now. Whatever fear or hesitance or whatever had held her back before had evaporated. Her smile became fuller and fuller, until it almost looked like...

Ai couldn't stop herself. She blinked, and she was beside her daughter, going through her own moves as she shadowed her. Ruby was predictably caught off-guard, but like a veteran many times older than her, she took it in stride and kept up the routine. Spinning, shaking, sweating freely, Ai made sure to give Ruby every bit of space she needed to move, content to watch and emulate her as a background dancer. Funny—she hadn't been anything but an ace since her first few months in their group, but in this moment she didn't mind it.

Ruby messed up again, but the little girl didn't care. Neither of them did. Laughing, Ai scooped her into her arms once more, spinning and spinning as her adorable daughter squealed gleefully. This was what she had been missing as a child—something like this, with her own mother. That felt so far away now.

"I want to experience happiness. Genuine happiness. As both an idol, and a mother." She remembered saying so to her old obstetrician at the hospital, Doctor Amamiya. Was this what that was? How could she know for sure? The joy and fear that bloomed in her stomach whenever she thought about her children, was that genuine happiness? Or was that fake?

For everything her lies had done for her, throughout her life and career, it somehow meant nothing in this very moment. How awful.

She stopped spinning, cradling Ruby to her chest. They were both breathless, and the song had ended entire minutes ago, but Ruby still seemed raring to go again. Really, girls her age were so full of energy. She was almost jealous.

Ruby dug deeper into her chest, smiling. "I... I love you, mama."

It was indescribable joy that compelled Ai to squeeze her tighter. And that all-encompassing fear that stayed her from giving Ruby an answer she wasn't sure even Ai herself could understand and comprehend.

"Mhm," she settled for saying. And that was that.

She was going to miss her old apartment, if only for the memories of raising her babies there. And, she supposed, for the lack of nosy neighbors. But she'd readily admit her new place was better in essentially every way.

Ai let go of a sigh she hadn't known she'd been holding as she closed the door behind her, taking off her heels. "I'm home," she managed tiredly. Another day, another media appearance. She'd been rattling them off lately, and while the pay was great and the boost to her image necessary, that didn't mean she wasn't exhausted. And that was without mentioning the concert they were having at the end of the week. Busy, busy, busy.

She put that out of her mind as she opened the door. She could hear her babies chatting away about something, in their usual adorable way. They liked their new apartment too—they must have been talking about how much they had enjoyed moving. The extra space was lovely, and calling their apartment a mansion-style really made it feel like they'd finally made it big. Deciding to eavesdrop, she lingered behind the doorway and angled herself to hear better without being spotted. She was so sneaky!

"I don't know," a little boy's voice. Aqua. "I just don't like thinking about it, I guess."

"Then don't," Ruby answered simply. Oh, she was always the more easygoing of the two. So cute!

"I can't help it sometimes!" Aqua whined. "I try my best not to, but sometimes... I do wonder who our father is."

A pit formed in Ai's stomach. 'Oh...' Well, they were at that age, she supposed. Old enough to start asking questions. When normal kids saw their fathers with their mothers, picking them up from school, it was only natural they would start to wonder where their father was.

"Ugh, thinking about it makes my heart sink," Aqua groaned, seeming to regret his statement. "Forget I asked."

Ruby was unwilling to forget. "You dummy! You let a little thing like paternity get you down?" She asked haughtily.

She gave her brother a superior look. "She obviously had a virgin conception, duh! There was never any guy in the first place!"

The pit sank deeper. That sounded... bad. Little girls weren't supposed to think like that, right? Little girls were supposed to believe in true love and cute things, not... virgin conceptions. Where had she even heard that? The internet, someone from her school?

Her feet had carried her back to the door, wordless. Slipping into more comfortable shoes, grabbing her big puffer jacket, her shades, and her ballcap (her classic disguise outfit). She opened the door and found herself back on the street. Walking, this time. Her manager wouldn't like her walking outside alone, but what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.

She found the nearest payphone, empty. She shut the door tight behind her, making sure no one had followed her or was paying any specific attention to her. The streets were surprisingly empty for a late afternoon—a group of high school girls were taking pictures near a wall across the street that had a large poster of her on it. Grinning without a care, a bottle of shampoo in her hand. She didn't remember shooting that, but whatever.

Ai fished out some loose change from her purse, slotting a coin in and dialing the phone number she already knew by heart. She'd been stupid to think she could wipe the memory of him from her head completely—you never did forget your first, as it turned out. She could delete all their photos together, trash his contact information, and devote all of her time to her children and her career, but it didn't matter. Whenever she looked at her children, especially Aqua, she could see trace bits of his reflection staring back at her.

He didn't take long to pick up. "Hey," she greeted shyly. "It's, um, it's me." He sounded surprised to hear from her. "Yeah, me too. I... didn't think I'd be calling you again, to be honest. Especially after... you know."

God, she felt like she was fifteen again. Nervous and flustered, barely managing complete sentences while stuttering. It was easy to forget with the passage of time, but before meeting him, she'd been so shy and plain. She'd only become the woman she was today in part because he inspired her to become smarter, prettier, more feminine.

"I wanted to talk about... our kids," she mumbled, holding her hand above her mouth to prevent any potential onlookers from lip-reading. He seemed confused by her request. "No, I don't mean it in the way you're probably thinking, it's just..."

What did she mean? She'd started this conversation with no plan, no sure thing to say. It had been entirely reactionary, on a whim after hearing her children talk in private about the father they'd never met.

"... our kids have gotten pretty big, you know." She let her loose thoughts dictate her words. "And they're beautiful, too. Aqua, especially—oh, that's the boy, I had twins, in case you didn't already know—he looks just like you. And he was talking about how he'd never met his father before, and so I was thinking... would you like to meet them?"

He was silent, for a long while. Possibly processing what she'd said. She took that as a sign to clarify what she meant. "I mean, I'm not trying to get back together, or anything. I don't even want money. I don't want you to think I'm doing this out of spite. I just thought... well, it would be nice for my kids to know who their father is, right?"

Another long pause. Ai could feel herself getting desperate. "Our kids are smart. Like, geniuses. I'm sure they'd understand our situation if we just told them, I'm certain of it. Really."

She was counting the seconds in her head until he eventually responded—in simple agreement. It felt anticlimactic. What had she even been so nervous for? She felt silly for having been so scared.

He asked for her address. Her manager (and common sense, really) had always stressed to never give away her address to people, but this was a special circumstance. The children would learn who their father was, get an understanding of their situation, and then everything would go back to normal. Her kids didn't want another parent—they simply wanted closure. She would grant that to them.

They decided on a time, and with curt goodbyes and a promise to update each other in case of a change of plans, hung up. Sighing, Ai leaned against the booth's walls, staring into the reflection of herself across the street. Happy and carefree. Another beautiful, flawless lie.

Idly, she noticed a tiny stain on the poster. A splash of something liquid and dark, splattered in the bottom right corner, right into a long tress of her hair. It blended in so well, she almost hadn't even noticed it.

One million followers on social media. Multiple lucrative brand and media deals. Certified records, at a record pace. And now...

"We got it!" Saitou announced. "B-Komachi will be performing at the Tokyo Dome, baby!" He didn't even wait for the applause before popping some very expensive champagne and pouring he and his wife a glass.

Ai laughed politely. News of the Tokyo Dome had come a few days ago, and her manager and his wife had come over to celebrate concurrently with moving Ai into her new place. Of all their accomplishments so far, landing a gig at the Tokyo Dome seemed to be their biggest, apparently. Ai wasn't sure how it was such a big deal (what was another stage with a few more thousands of people watching at this point?), but since everyone seemed happy about it, she'd go along with it and be happy too.

Miyako shook her head, but otherwise smiled at her husband's antics. "Goodness. I haven't seen him this drunk since the first time he learned you were pregnant."

Ai giggled, winking playfully. "Oopsie! But we've come a long way since then, haven't we?"

"That we have," Miyako agreed. "B-Komachi's schedule is completely packed, the group's selling like never before, and we just landed the biggest concert in Strawberry Production's history." She gave Ai a knowing look. "Not to mention everything you've managed, young lady. Your TV drama's climbing the rankings, everything you seem to touch goes viral, and we've somehow managed to keep your kids a secret for this long."

And wasn't that a miracle in itself? "I owe you a lot for that, Miss Miyako."

"Please. The only reason we're all making this much money is because of you to begin with. Taking care of your kids is an easy trade off for wealth." She took a seat next to her husband on the couch. "But seriously, don't worry about it. You've done great, Ai. We're all so proud of you. Your hard work, as well as the rest of the girls', helped to realize this. Take pride in that—there aren't many idols who have ever gotten this far in their careers."

Miyako had been a little cold to her at first, seemingly accepting a business relationship between the two of them initially and nothing else, but as the months had turned into years, and they took turns caring for her babies, she had slowly warmed up to her. In a way, she was sort of like the mother she never had. Whereas her manager had always been the one to handle the business end of things, Miyako had helped guide her into adulthood as a woman and as a celebrity, despite never having been an idol herself. Never mind how she had always been there to help mitigate some of her husband's more... unorthodox ideas for her and the group.

It was nice, having an adult figure she could look to for help when she needed it. She hadn't realized how much she had needed that.

"And please," the woman continued. "Drop the 'Miss' part, okay? It makes me sound old."

"But you are old," Ai giggled. "Aren't you like, thirty?"

"I'm twenty-seven!" Miyako grumbled. "And that's not old!"

"Sure~"

"Oh, just you wait, brat. It all goes downhill after you graduate from the teens. Before long, you'll be old and weary, realizing your metabolism is slowing down and your clothes don't fit you anymore and that your posture is ruined from all the time you've spent hunched over a computer!"

Ai placed a dramatic hand to her forehead. "Oh, but I could never! I'm supposed to be young and beautiful forever! To be anything else would be a nightmare to my fans! My children! Myself!"

"You joke, but that's how it happens," Saitou reentered the conversation, surprisingly serious. "In terms of idol age, your mid-to-late twenties might as well be ancient. The innocent and pure persona works pretty much exclusively for teenage idols—not so much for adult women. As shitty as it is, idol fans aren't inclined to believe the words of love and purity from a grown woman as they are a starry-eyed teenager."

And then, he was grinning again. "Aw, but what the hell does that matter now? You've got your whole life ahead of you, kid. Especially now that we've landed the fucking Tokyo Dome, baby! Woo!" He took another swig of his champagne, before noogieing a nearby Aqua, who grudgingly let it happen with a scowl.

"He's right," Miyako concurred, much less bombastically. "We'll worry about what comes next much, much later. Even then, that's why you've been branching out into TV and entertainment, right? If all goes well, and we keep Aqua and Ruby a secret, then there's nothing to fear."

She shot a fond look at her husband. "It was always his dream to have an idol he produced make it to the Dome. He's a stubborn old man, so he'll never admit this out loud, but he's probably happier for you than he is for himself. He's always looked at you fondly—told me you had that star potential right when he first met you." She leaned in closer to Ai, whispering. "You're like the daughter he never had. He loves you to death, even if he tries to deny it."

Ai's eyes widened. "Oh," was all she could say. Love... in a familial sense. Had her manag—had Ichigo always felt that way? Or was that a lie Miyako had told her to make her feel closer to her manager than she actually was? How could familial love be given out so easily, without remorse, to someone he wasn't even related to by blood?

She eyed her own children, watching Aqua continue to squirm in Ichigo's grasp and Ruby return from a brief bathroom visit, happily plopping herself into Ai's lap and snuggling into her frame. Love... love. Love. Miyako loved Ichigo. Ichigo loved her. And she...

"Hey, Ruby?" Ai looked down at her daughter, who returned her gaze expectantly. "Yes, mama?"

"I..." she hesitated, unsure of what to say. "... do you want me to change your diaper?"

Ruby pouted. "Mama, I'm old enough to use the toilet by myself! I'm not some kid anymore!"

"Whatever you say~" Ai teased, poking and prodding her daughter's cheeks. She couldn't say it. Not now. If she said what she thought of saying, and that too turned out to be a lie... it scared her. The consequences of what could happen would haunt her for the rest of her life. She'd be no better than her own mother.

She didn't want to think of this right now. Forcefully distracting herself, she turned to Miyako. "Are domes really that special?"

"Of course," Miyako answered. "They carry a different connotation compared to your regular venues. You can't even book a slot without going through a specialized company. There needs to be a proficiency and track record among staff to be able to handle large groups of spectators. There's even a rigorous screening process to see if an artist or group is even suitable for a performance in a dome—especially one as prestigious as the Tokyo Dome. These venues require an extensive time commitment, and equally extensive staff labor. Simply having money doesn't get you a spot in a dome."

Miyako turned back to her. "Domes are the dream. Stages upon which only a special, chosen few can ascend to." She smiled. "Luckily, we at Strawberry Productions happen to have one such transcendent talent."

Ai nodded absently, putting a finger to her chin. "True... Meimei's always been a really good dancer."

Miyako scoffed. "That might be the first time I've ever heard you be humble. It's almost unnatural."

"What can I say? I'm a great actor~" Miyako shook her head, finishing her glass and getting up for a refill, chastising her husband about his insistence on having Aqua take a sip of champagne while his mom was distracted.

Domes were important, then. They'd make more money than they'd ever made before from this one concert, it seemed. And that would open the doors for B-Komachi into even more opportunities, which would mean more attention and stardom. And then they'd be making more money again. When she sold well, everyone was pleased. Happy.

To that end, she'd be happy too. And if nothing else, keep up the appearance of being happy. Because B-Komachi, Strawberry Productions, and her own children relied on her for their happiness. And she got to fulfill that happiness by being an idol—the greatest job in the world.

"I don't think I have to remind you of how important this stretch is for us," her manager announced to the room, chiefly Ai. "This is what takes us to the big time. I'm sure you already know, so I'll repeat this just for the sake of it, but absolutely no scandals. Nothing stupid like meeting up with the brats' father, you hear?"

Ai's smile didn't quite reach her eyes, and she knew it. "I know, I know."

She was a liar. One of the best. It was what she'd been born into, and it was what had gotten her this far. It had made her this much money. Before so much as thinking, she said whatever it was that best fit her situation, even at home. At some point, she'd been unable to distinguish her real feelings from the lies she continued to spout.

It would probably come back to haunt her. Scratch that—she knew it would. She'd never been a normal girl, so to expect the life of one was well beyond her means. People-hating liars like her didn't get happy endings. And that was okay.

Lie, lie, lie, until those lies became the truth. That was how it had always been. Even if she'd pay for it, it was all she could do, so she'd do it as best she could for as long as she could.

"Mama," Ruby broke her from her thoughts. "Will I be able to watch you perform?"

Ai smiled. "Of course you will, baby. Why wouldn't you? They'll definitely have it airing on TV."

Ruby shook her head. "I mean, in person. Like how we did when Miyako snuck us in that one time. Can't we do that again?"

Ai shook her head sadly. "Sorry Ruby, but we can't. As cute as you were that first time, we'll get in a lot of trouble if people see you again. And seeing as you and your brother already went viral one time, going viral twice would be suspicious to most people. They'd start to think you were a plant, and try to figure out whose kids you were—and when they eventually find out you're my kids, well, that'd be big trouble for us all!"

"Big trouble would be putting it lightly," Miyako corrected from the couch.

"Boo," Ruby frowned, cheeks puffing. "Will I be able to see you perform live again one day?"

Ai nodded. "Of course."

"Promise?"

Ai's expression was unflinchingly pleasant, a perfect smile. In contrast to how it usually never provoked anything from her emotionally, she didn't like how it felt when it was used against her own daughter.

"Promise."

A day before the biggest performance of her life, and a day before she turned twenty, Hoshino Ai went to get the mail.

It was nice out, she noticed as she finished her descent along the winding staircase. They had an elevator, sure, but she'd always preferred walking. An elevator made her feel too out of place. And again, it was nice out. Why not enjoy the breeze?

Her hood was up, her tinted glasses on, and her hair was curled into her cap. She'd even put on a mask, just to be safe. Her mail was never anything more than fashion magazines, given that Miyako handled most of her finances online and anything personal delivered to her would never be sent in anything as traceable as physical mail. Her regular publications were all that ever crowded her mailbox, and that was a good thing.

The mailroom was inside of her building. A quick turn of her mail key, and she was rummaging through her box, which seemed a little thicker today than usual. That prompted a brief spike of concern, before her fear washed away with the realization that her usual clothing magazine had printed a double-issue. A shadow passed behind her. Goodness, those were a lot of pages. If it ended up with a lot of good looks and pieces, it would have taken her close to an hour to go through the entire thing.

She left the mailroom, careful to watch her step before she made it back to her floor, returning to her magazine, deciding to get some early reading in. Maybe she was in this one? She couldn't remember when the last time she'd done a fashion shoot was. She'd done one for a swimsuit edition a few months ago, but that would have already been published, and this issue looked more catered toward the seasonal—

Ai bumped into something. She would have assumed it was a brick wall if not for the small grunt that escaped whatever it was she'd collided with. With a tiny yelp, she fell on her backside, glasses and hood falling and folding back respectively. As a result of her hood forcefully retreating, her cap had also fallen, sending her carefully hidden hair cascading down her frame.

She first made sure she wasn't injured before dusting herself off and returning to her feet. "I'm so sorry," she quickly apologized. She'd have to move quickly and get back to her apartment, before she ran the risk of whoever it was she'd run into recognizing her. That would be catastrophic. "I wasn't paying attention to where I was going."

Immediately, she noticed the person she'd run into was massive. A man, she deduced. Then again, she'd always been comparatively short to pretty much everyone she met, so she supposed it didn't matter if both men and women towered over her. Regardless, the man turned her attention to her, his gaze previously having been trained on the door in front of him—which led to the apartment next to hers.

Green eyes, dulled but with an odd light in them, regarded her evenly. His face appeared neutral, yet the impassive frown he wore seemed to convey more than that. Idly, she noted the faint smell of the sea that he carried with him, subtle yet present.

He didn't seem to recognize her. Even as he leaned down, grabbing one of her fallen magazines and holding it toward her, his expression still had not changed. And when he spoke, it was not in her native Japanese, but a very foreign English.

For whatever reason, she found herself hanging onto every word.

"I'm sorry. Are you alright?"

Saving the big juicy Author's Note for the end of the second prologue chapter. In the meantime, I'll simply say thanks for reading thus far.