"JASON THIS IS AMAZING!"

"Look it's a fish he's looking at me!"

"This one looks like an ice cream pop!"

"This one looks like a rock with a face!"

"This one looks like Damian! I think he wants to kill me!"

Jason considered the fish, who was mostly black, extremely grumpy, and incredibly displeased to be under scrutiny of another breathing entity.

"The resemblance is uncanny."

"Right?"

"Jason, the guy's out frontish, you need to go do adult things."

Jason scowled at Tim. "Sounds boring."

"If it makes you feel better there are some 'boring adult things' I should order while we're here; none of you are going to do it. Damian… just keep an eye on Dick, okay?"

"Of course. I am sure we shall be suitably entertained."

Tim and Jason glanced at each other before shrugging and starting off. "Try to not get in too much trouble, squirts," Jason called over his shoulder.

"Us?" Damian grinned. "Never."

Dick glanced innocently at Damian. "Are we gonna have fun?""

Damian smiled, all teeth and eyes squinted. "Yes, Richard. Yes, we are."

Dick's wide blue eyes shimmered with awe, trembling fists pressed against his chest. His gasp sucked all the air out of the room, and he then proceeded not to breathe for twenty seconds. His hands clasped over his mouth.

His eyes squinted as his gaze flew to Damian, his feet tapping at the ground excitedly. "May I… can I please…?"

"Of course, Richard. Any you choose."

Dick gave a squeal and dashed forward, Damian trailing behind him and directing himself to the girl running the room. "We wish to pet the puppies."

She nodded, grinning, and swept her hand out to encompass the pens of tumbling pups. "I'll need to supervise until an adult comes in. Until then… play nicely, they're all very friendly!"

Damian picked Dick up under his arms and swung him over the barrier, settling down next to him. He picked up a squirming brown puppy and deposited it Dick's arms. The other dogs tried to squirm forward, but Dick did not look ready to deal with the swarm yet, so Damian held them at bay.

Dick looked up at him helplessly, arms rigid.

"Gentle pets." Damian instructed. He picked up Dick's hand and ran it over the puppy's head. "Like this. From the top down."

Dick nodded intently and focused on holding the puppy and petting it in jerky, tight motions. "It's so cute," he whispered.

Damian nodded, and smiled. He reached out to shift the pup in Dick's arms. "Like this. Do not squeeze him, but do not worry too much. I do not believe you are going to hurt him."

Dick nodded, a little unbelievingly, and slowly his pets improved.

"You can also scratch behind their ears. They like that." Damian demonstrated with a pup of his own. "See?"

Dick nodded enthusiastically, a smile dominating his face as he did his best to scratch behind the perky ears of his wiggling puppy.

"They like you too, Damian!"

Damian had given up on holding back the puppies from himself, and was now contending with being swarmed by balls of fluff. "I come here often in my world. I assume my counterpart comes here as well, and we must smell the same. The girl there? Her name is Renee. She recognizes me when I come here too."

Dick smiled. He slowly began to become more fluid, as his puppy wiggled out of his grasp and bounced over to Damian. "Uh, oh!"

"It is alright, Richard." Damian handed Dick another pup who had been struggling to get in on the petting. "Here."

Dick slipped into a smile and cradled the puppy carefully. He gasped as it's little tongue lapped at his chin. "It's giving me kisses! Damian, it's giving me kisses!"

Damian giggled. "I guess so!"

"That's weird! It's a doggie!"

"Well, dogs can appreciate people too."

"But that's a thing grownup people do to each other!"

"...And family. To show that they care about each other."

Dick giggled and flailed, trying not to fall over under the now numerous puppies on top of him. "Oh!"

Damian reached out and picked up another pup, placing it on top of Dick's chest, and poking him swiftly to overballence him. Dick fell over laughing, as Damian made sure to protect his head and any imperiled puppies from his fall.

"And puppies are always willing to demonstrate how much they care about you."

Dick grinned up at Damian as he was trampled by innumerable furry paws. "Me too!" He picked up the nearest pup and kissed it's nose. "Hi! I care about you!"

Damian's lips pulled into an irrepressible grin as Dick began to pick up puppy after puppy, kiss it, and repeat his mantra.

Dick eventually collapsed, laughing, and spreading his arms out on the floor, inviting any unpetted pups to take refuge on top of him.

"This…" Dick paused to spit hair out of his mouth, "is the best. The best of everything, all the things! Doggies are a million times better than I thought!"

"I am glad you approve." Damian murmured. "Actually… I own a dog of my own. Perhaps he is in a temporary shelter. His name is Titus. I also own a cat and a cow- actually, this version of me probably does not have a cow. But perhaps he owns Titus and Alfred. The cat Alfred. You might enjoy playing with them, although they are no longer newborn."

"I would love to meet them, Damian!"

"You are going to get dog hair in your eyes."

"I don't mind!" Despite his assertion, Dick sat up anyway, very carefully moving the somewhat-calmer-than-before dogs on top of him.

"They are wonderful, aren't they?"

Dick nodded, stroking a nudging grey head with one hand and rubbing a brown back with another.

"It is why I am a vegetarian. I know not all animals are as… cuddly as dogs, however… I cannot abide by causing intentional and unnecessary harm to any such innocent creature."

Dick nodded, eyes wide. "That makes sense, Damian." He glanced down and squirmed.

"Ask."

"May I please be a vegetarian too? Will Jason and Tim be mad at me?"

Damian beamed. "Oh, no. They might be annoyed with me but I am sure they will be fine and supportive. Many people are vegetarians. They will understand. I think it is a mark of your innate superiority that you have decided to take this step. Congratulations, Richard."

"Dick! Damian! You in here?"

"Yes, Tim!" Dick perked up at the sound of Tim's voice, tried to struggle to his feet, realized there were too many dogs piled on top of him, and settled for grinning in the direction of the door until Tim came into view.

"You could've told us where you were going, Brat," Jason scowled at Damian, striding into the enclosure and plopping crosslegged beside Dick. "Squirt." Jason leaned forward and swept as many pups into his arms as he could, taking great care to place one on top of his head.

Jason turned very seriously to Dick. "Now I have a hat."

Dick nodded and giggled approvingly.

"I don't know what you're complaining about, Todd. You found us."

"He's not wrong, Jason. It could've been worse." Tim maneuvered inside with the rest of his brothers and reclined between Jason and Damian. He reached out to pick up one pup and proceeded to stroke it like an evil mastermind.

Damian grinned slyly and leaned back in satisfaction. "Richard is now a vegetarian."

"I knew it!" Jason burst out, making sure to keep his puppy-hat balanced carefully. "25 minutes. We leave Dick alone with him for 25 minutes, and he becomes a vegetarian."

"Are you mad?" Dick worried.

"No, I'm just rethinking the company you're allowed to keep. Damian, here, is clearly a silver tongued terrible influence. You need to spend more time with me."

Dick giggled and squirmed forward, managing to make his way partially into Jason's lap, puppies hanging off the both of them. "Okay. Wanna know something else I learned from Damian?"

Jason raised an inquisitive eyebrow.

"Hi! I care about you very much!"

And Dick kissed Jason's cheek.