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Dick rubbed Titus's head, and the dog licked his face again. Titus was a good dog. Damian had left the room, and now it was just Dick and Titus. Dick, and Titus, and Dick's bad thoughts.
Daddy would not be happy with Dick's thoughts. Dick was sure that Daddy would be very not-happy with a lot of Dick's thoughts, recently, and Dick even thought that if Daddy showed up, Jason and Tim and Damian were going to be in a lot of trouble.
But it was very hard to stay good around his new brothers. Dick had never had anyone trying to make him bad before. He'd never had anyone act like this at all, and… and maybe there was a little part of him that liked what they were saying? Maybe there could be different rules.
He didn't want to leave Daddy completely, of course, but maybe. Maybe when he was with Daddy he could use Daddy's rules, and when he was with his brothers he could use their rules. If he did his chores super well, maybe he could have time for both?
Dick considered, and petted Titus's head. Maybe. He'd been outside, now, though. That was bad. And Daddy had always said that Dick was very worthless and replaceable. Maybe he would just replace him … maybe he would kill him. That would make room for a new kid for Daddy to use.
It was possible.
And Dick was so not-good at thinking good thoughts. It was like… part of him just wanted, like Damian had said. Like part of him wanted so very badly to be his own good person… and he'd be so good if he got a chance! He wouldn't waste it - he'd be the best person ever, as much as he could, and he'd never use being-a-person to be bad ever!
Plus… if he really was so replaceable to Daddy, and so not replaceable to his brothers… maybe he could just... stay with them? But he loved Daddy. And his brothers thought he was a good person for loving people, but if he left Daddy that meant he couldn't love Daddy, and that meant that his brothers wouldn't love him.
Dick sighed, and kept petting Titus. He missed when everything was simple. But if everything was simple again he'd miss his brothers. Everything was complicated.
Maybe Daddy just wouldn't want him anymore? So he'd be free to be with his brothers. But he wanted to be with Daddy, so he wouldn't like that.
Dick's head fell in defeat. He was going in circles. Big loopy circles that didn't help anybody. He needed to talk to somebody… but everyone thought either one thing or another. Nobody would understand how he thought both ways at once.
"You doin' okay in there, kiddo?"
Dick looked up, and smiled at Jason. "Kinda."
Jason walked over and plopped down in front of him. "Wanna talk about it?"
Dick looked down, then up. ...Maybe Jason could help. Jason thought two things at once about staying and going too. Maybe not about whether or not Dick should, but at least he kinda understood.
"Yes, Jason. I don't know what to do. I think maybe Daddy would let me stay with you… since he thinks I'm replaceable and you don't. But… I want to stay with Daddy."
Jason considered, putting his cheek on his fist.
"Why do you want to stay with him?"
"... 'cause I love him."
"That would be a good reason for him to want to stay with you. People should live with people who love them. Does he love you?"
Dick laughed before he could help it. "No, Jason, of course not!"
"Well, then, you shouldn't stay with him."
Dick frowned. He hadn't understood.
"Look. I know it doesn't feel that simple. You want to stay with him. You love him, you feel like you need him, or like you're… obligated to stay. But you just have to… know that it isn't the best thing to do. And then you have to ignore how you feel and do what you know is right. As time goes on… your feelings will start to line up eventually."
Dick tilted his head, unbelieving. "Really?"
"Maybe not all the way. But it'll get better. Who knows? Maybe most of the way better. Maybe almost-completely. It depends on the person."
Dick's face scrunched up, and he sighed. "Well, I promised to try to see things like you guys, didn't I?"
"We're not making you, buddy. You don't have to do anything that you don't want to."
Dick gave a slow cautious smile. "I mean. If you guys think it's a good idea… then okay, I guess. Thanks, Chicken."
Jason gave a dramatic sigh, stretching his arms above his head and groaning.
"OOOOOOOOOfffffffffff we've been talking for too long! Too much thinking. I wanna watch cartoons. Do you wanna watch cartoons?"
Dick nodded emphatically. "Tweety and Sylvester!"
"The democratic process decides unanimously. Tweety and Sylvester it is!"
Jason motioned for Titus to follow as he led the way to the ever-popular TV room and set up the program while Dick settled into the couch with Titus on his lap. Jason flopped onto the couch so hard Dick was bounced into the air, giggling in surprise.
"You know, Big Bird used to have to drag me, Baby Bird and Baby Bat down here by our toenails. Now, here I am, doing this on purpose!"
Dick peered up, eyes shining with curiosity. "Do you have a bird name?"
Jason barked a laugh. "I'm Little Wing, but only to Big Bird, our big you."
"Oh. If big me is 'Big Bird', and Damian is 'Baby Bat', then does that make your Bruce 'Big Bat'? Oh! What was it you said a long time ago… is your Bruce 'Bat Man'?"
Jason startled before laughing and ruffling Dick's hair, even as the cartoon started.
"You're something, you know, kid?"
"I guess? Daddy always says I'm something of a mistake."
"No. You're our little Tweety Bird." On screen, Tweety shoved an anvil onto Sylvester's head. "And that's final."
"What is happening in here?" Damian wondered, as he wandered into the room.
"I got a bird name!" Dick cheered, twisting to look behind the seat of the couch. "I got a bird name now too! I'm Tweety Bird!"
Damian hummed, moving to sit on Dick's other side. "Hmmmmm…. A tiny, clever, little bird who deserves the adoration of millions? Sounds about right to me."
"An adorable, chirpy little bird who can't be kept down?" Tim chimed in. "Sounds about right to me."
Dick blushed, and shoved his palm into his cheek as he squirmed. "Awwww, guys!"
Titus took the opportunity to bathe Dick's face yet again, and Dick finally settled down to watch Tweety laugh as Sylvester was forced to admit his defeat.