And so our training montage begins:
Dennis and Minnie were firing their slingshots at dartboards. Both of them had pictures of Walter and Cuthbert.
"Hey," said the Softies.
"It's good motivation," said Dennis. "See? Bullseye!"
Dinah-Mo was training the grown ups to fight. The Colonel was getting into it.
"Oh just like the Good old days!"
The Bash Street Kids were firing their pea shooters at a dartboard. Erbert was firing the wrong way.
Pie-Face was dressed in a weird Superhero outfit. He had a cape made out of a bath towel and wore his Y-fronts outside his trousers.
"What are you supposed to be?" asked Molly.
"I am Pie-Man!" announced Pie-Face.
Everyone groaned and rolled their eyes.
"Wait, you can't be Pie-Man," said Sneaker with a sneaky grin. "The Simpsons already did that!"
"It's okay," said Dennis. "No-one watches The Simpsons anymore, it's rubbish now."
Everyone muttered in agreement.
Minnie was looking at Bananaman's utility's belt.
"Cool," she said as she picked up what looked like a half eaten banana.
"What does this button do?" she asked as she pressed it.
A yellow lightsaber came out of it.
Bananaman snatched it off her.
"This is not a kid's toy."
"But you ARE a kid," said Minnie.
"True," said Bananaman.
Meanwhile, Crow had picked a juicy worm from the ground.
"Wait, Crow," said Bananaman. "We might need that worm."
After a few hours, the Beano and Dandy folk were ready for battle.
At 8.55, they marched to the abandoned toffee factory.
"Oh this so exciting," said Walter. " And it is past my bedtime."
"We're anarchists," said Cuthbert.
At the Toffee Factory, our villains saw the Beano and Dandy folk marching toward them, with Bananaman leading the way, and Crow flying beside him.
"The B-Man is coming," said Gloom. "And he has brought an army."
"So have we," said General Blight as he had his army of soldier robots ready.
Gloom sank in his teeth and rubbed his hands with glee.
"The real game begins."
.
.
.
.
.
Our army of heroes made it to the massive doors. They slowly began to open.
And there was Appleman standing there, like Darth Maul, in that Star Wars movie no-one likes.
"Argh, it's Pineapple Man!" cried Pie-Face
Bananaman and Appleman glared at each other.
"I'll take care of him, you kids deactivate the bomb," said B-Man.
"Good luck, B-Man," said Minnie as she kissed him on the cheek for good luck.
"Ugh! C'mon!" groaned Dennis as he and the other kids walked past Appleman.
Appleman pulled something from his belt. It looked like an apple core, but there was a button on the side of it. He pressed the button and a green lightsaber came out from the top of the applecore.
An applesabre.
Bananaman pulled out his bananasabre and turned it on.
That doesn't sound right...
Bananaman and Appleman clashed their sabres together in the ultimate battle between fruits.
Our other heroes ran into the factory and saw Gloom, Blight, Weather Man and the army of robot soldiers.
"Well, well, if it isn't my old friend, The Colonel," sneered Blight.
"You are a disgrace to Blighty, General," said the Colonel.
"Who is Blighty?" asked Smiffy.
"Well, you have only 5 minutes to stop the bomb from blowing up your precious town," said Gloom as he pressed a button on his remote control.
From the back of the factory, the giant apple bomb was set.
5.00
4.59
"If you want to get to the bomb, you will have to get past our army of robot soldiers!" said Weather Man.
The robot soldiers' eyes glowed red.
"Meanwhile," said Blight. "Us villains will escape in the Mole's vehicle. Ta."
But then they looked around.
"Where is the Mole?" asked Gloom.
There was a massive hole in the ground. The three villains looked down and saw the Mole's vehicle was escaping.
"YOU TRAITOR!" cried Gloom in disgust. "Never trust a villain ever!"
"Gentlemen," said the Weather Man. "We can take my blimp from above the building."
The trio ran up the stairs. Our heroes were about to follow them, but were stopped by the robot soldiers.
"Time for some exercise," said Desperate Dan as he cracked his knuckles.
THWACK! He punched some robots with his fists. Dinah-Mo joined in. So did Bully Beef. Smiffy karate chopped one robot, and wouldn't you know it, the robot split in two.
Everyone was confused, but carried on the battle.
Fatty was in sumo mode as he wrestled some robots.
Some robots made their way toward the kids, but Minnie, Minx, Roger and Sneaker pulled out bags marbles and poured them all over the floor. The robots tripped over them. The four heroes high fived each other.
The Bash Street Kids got out their pea shooters and shot peas all over the robots.
The Colonel and all of the parents of Beanotown were all bashing the robots' heads in. Crowbars, hammers, handbags, you name it.
BRRRRMMMMMMMM!
The sound of a motorbike could be heard.
SMASH! The window smashed open and a figure on a motorbike crashed through. It was Dennis' Granny.
"GRAN!" cried Dennis in delight.
Granny's bike landed.
"Let's kick some ro-bottom!" she laughed.
She drove around the robots, knocking them over and even whacking them with the back of her bike.
Beryl the Peril stood on top of Rasher the pig and rode him across the army of robots. She had a baseball bat and whacked every robot she went past.
As Dennis, Minnie and Curly fired their slingshots at the robots, Pie-Face was gone.
"Oh he's getting ready," said Curly.
Ivy the Terrible, Percy, Cuddles and Dimples were on space hoppers. They jumped up and down on top of the robots' heads.
Winker Watson and his school chums had water balloons at the ready. They chucked them at the robots. The water caused them to malfunction.
Gnasher gnashed at some of the robots, until it was just their robot skeleton left.
With some of the robots defeated, Brain Duane made his way to the back to find the bomb.
"I'll hack the bomb."
"Hey, hacking is illegal," said Walter as he and Cuthbert sprayed perfume on some robots, causing them to malfunction.
"I'll allow it," said Chief O'Reilly as he clubbed some robots with his nightstick.
Duane ran to the back door, but suddenly, a massive ice blast hit him and he was frozen into an ice cube.
Weather Man from above laughed evilly as he lowered his freeze ray.
The Bash Street Kids looked at the frozen Duane. They ran over to him and they all put peppermints in their mouths. They breathed all over the ice cube causing it to melt and Duane was free.
"Thanks friends."
He opened the door and made it into the back room. He saw the massive apple bomb.
3.00
2.59
Dunae ran over to the console connected to it. He attached his tablet to it and began to hack into the system.
Just like that film with Angelina Jolie.
Bananaman was still lightsaber fighting with Appleman.
"I'm gonna turn you into banana squash," said A-man.
"I'm going to turn you into an apple cake," replied Bananaman.
B-man ran up the stairs that lead to a bridge, that was above a massive pool of hot boiling toffee. The fighters continued battling on the bridge.
.
.
.
.
.
Doctor Gloom went into the office to get his suitcase of money, and saw what appeared to be Bananaman sitting with his back to him on the chair.
"Ah, I see you came out of retirement," said Gloom as he walked over to the chair. "I suppose your self loathing has faded, for now…...just wait until I destroy this town and you'll be back to Square one."
Bananaman didn't say anything.
"Hey, I'm talking to you!" snapped Gloom. "Where's the witty banter?"
The chair began to turn around.
Gloom got confused.
It wasn't Bananaman at all.
It was Les Pretend dressed up as Bananaman.
"Now Pie-Man!" called Les.
Pie-Man jumped out of nowhere and chucked a pie at Doctor Gloom. As it hit him, there was a net inside and it caught onto Gloom.
The evil scientist was caught inside the net.
Les looked at Pie-Man.
"Goodwork, Pie-Man."
"You too, Banana Kid," said Pie-Man.
Bananaman and Appleman were still clashing their sabres. They tried to knock each other over the bridge.
Bananaman took his banarang and threw it at Appleman. This caused A-man to lose his balance.
B-man smiled.
It seemed that he was winning, but then…
His bananasabre ran out of battery.
He was done for. Appleman kicked him onto the bridge and B-man was flat on his back.
"Any last words, Banana Milkshake?" asked Appleman.
"Yes," said Bananaman. "Say hello to my little friend."
Bananaman threw the worm, from earlier, at Appleman.
The evil Apple screamed in terror and…..
He fell over the bridge and straight into the pool of toffee.
"A-Man, you are now a Toffee Apple!" laughed Bananaman. "Although I doubt anyone would want to take a bite out of you."
Crow groaned at the bad pun.
"Could I have my worm now?"
"Sure," said B-man as he gave Crow the worm.
Gloom was caught in the net. He called to his 'friends'.
"Weather Man! Blight! Save me!"
But the other villains refused. And made their way to the top of the building where the blimp was waiting for them.
Outside the building, our heroes watched the two villains get into the blimp and begin to fly away.
"I'll stop them," said B-man as he shot into the sky and toward the blimp.
Using his weather machine, the Weather Man began to fire lightning at Bananaman, using a cannon on the blimp.
The lightning hit Bananaman, but it didn't stop him from flying toward the blimp.
Weather Man then tried hail. The hail began to hit Bananaman, it hurt him but he kept going.
B-man made it to the cannon. He grabbed onto it and tore it off. Then he crumpled it like a paper ball and threw it to the ground.
Bananaman then tore a hole at the roof of the blimp and jumped into the cockpit. Blight and Weather Man were in defeat.
"Weather Man, best to let nature handle the weather," said B-man.
Blight secretly had a handgun from his back pocket.
He growled in frustration.
"I HATE YOU BANANAMAN!"
He pulled out the gun and fired at B-man. Our hero moved out of the way and…..
Blight and Weather Man couldn't believe it.
Bananaman caught the bullet with his finger and thumb.
"You shouldn't play with guns, General. Someone could get hurt."
As for the bomb…
0.10
0.09
0.08
"OH I DON'T KNOW THE CODE TO DEACTIVATE THE BOMB!" cried Duane.
0.04
0.03
You know that scene in movies when someone closes their eyes before an explosion goes off, well that's what Duane did.
He closed his eyes.
0.02
0.01
And then….
The bomb switched off.
Duane opened one eye.
Smiffy stood there holding onto the plug.
Duane then smiled.
And give Smiffy a big hug, as did the other Bash Street Kids.
"Do I do something right?" asked Smiffy.
"Yes, Smiffy, you did," said Danny.
.
.
.
.
.
The blimp landed. The police arrested Gloom, Blight and Weather Man.
The heroes had won the night.
But Appleman was still inside the pool of toffee.
Our army of heroes walked inside the factory
"Is he dead?" asked Dennis.
The Beano and Dandy folk walked slowly and slowly to the pool and peered inside.
Nothing.
Appleman must've been gone.
Bananaman turned around and faced the people.
"Looks like he's done for," he said.
Just then, like the ending of the original Friday the 13th, the toffee covered Appleman burst from the pool and roared. Everyone screamed in horror. The bad apple then wrapped his arm around Bananaman and tried to choke him.
Just then, Gnasher leapt into the air and…..
GNASH! GNASH! GNASH!
Appleman's head was now just an apple core.
The body of Appleman just rolled out of the pool and onto the floor.
Bananaman petted Gnasher.
"Good boy."
.
.
.
.
.
.
The next morning, the Mayor of Beanotown awarded Bananaman and the people of Beano and Dandy Town medals.
Bananaman even got to meet his crush, Fiona from Good Morning Beanotown.
"Bananaman, how did you stop Doctor Gloom and his army?" she asked him.
"With the help of my friends," said B-man as he looked at the people of Beano and Dandy Town.
"You're very lucky to have them," said Fiona.
"I know," said B-man.
Chief O'Reilly walked over to him.
"Sorry to interrupt, but we have found the Mole."
The Mole was stuck underground. His vehicle had broken down and he was stuck underground.
BURST!
The earth burst open and Bananaman flew down and looked at the Mole.
"Oh thank goodness," said the Mole.
Doctor Gloom, Blight, The Weather Man and the Mole were back at the Maximum Security Prison. And after what they did to each other, they would not get along.
And they would be in prison for a very, very, VERY long time.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Everything was back to normal. Eric still attended school. But when Bananaman was needed, he would ask the teacher if he could be excused. Since everyone knew Bananaman's identity, he was allowed.
Eric ate the banana, transformed into the superhero and flew off to stop the nearest villain.
He was no longer Bananaman No More, he was now Bananaman Forever.
Sometimes, Pie-Man would join him on his missions.
Oh, and Minnie finally got a date with Eric.
Also, Sneaker went to L.A. to pitch his idea for a Bananaman movie.
But every studio turned him down.
"Not ANOTHER superhero movie!" they would say.
THE END
In Memory of Tim Brooke-Taylor