Yaoyorozu and Tsuburaba (villains)

vs.

Jiro and Shishida (heroes)

Jiro 'tsk'd' as she stood outside next to her beastly teammate. "This is going to suuuuuck. Yaoyorozu basically has the perfect quirk for this. Can't be sure where and what traps there are. We'll have to be careful and slow." She turned to look at him, one of her jacks coiled around her wrist, not quite plugged into her directional speaker. "Got any ideas?"

He adjusted his sunglasses, a thoughtful expression on his face even as he slowly grew larger into his quirk. "It's as you say. In a siege, the ability to make anything is incredibly useful. That's not counting Tsuburaba's ability to block us off on the fly should he need to. Ironically, it is we who have our backs to the wall."

He stroked his chin. "We do have our advantages, however. I wager that neither of our classmates are exceptional in terms of strength. Similarly, very few people think extensively about defending against sonic attacks or just vibration. We may have a chance. Are you able to find resonance frequencies?"

"Are you thinking of going from underneath like Juzo and Shoji?"

"Indeed. If we could find a pillar underneath we could collapse the floor from under them."

Kyoka smiled. "Metal. I love it, but no dice. Changing frequencies is something I'm still working on. Right now all I can do is send out my heartbeat or music."

"BEGIN!"

She sighed. "Frontal assault?"

"Frontal assault."

They walked through the door.

"VILLAIN TEAM WINS!"

Midoriya and Sato (hero)

v

Bakugo and Kaminari (villains)

"So, grenade guy. You seem to have history with Sandy there. Care to share?" probed Kaminari from where he stood next to the large, papier-machê dirty bomb they were guarding. Bakugo had…assertively, taken the lead, barking the order to carry the thing to their current spot.

"NONE OF YOUR GODDAMN BUSINESS, PIKACHU! Now stay here, I'll go take care of this. Those goddamn losers won't know what hit them." This was punctuated by a fist slamming into an open palm, exploding on contact.

"I feel like an explosion is kind of an obvious thing to get hit by."

"Shut your hole. Matter of fact, shut ALL your holes. I'm going hunting." Bakugo grinned ferally, bouncing on the balls of his feet, waiting for the signal.

"BEGIN!"

Rikido Sato idly scratched at his cheek as he and his partner stared at the building. "So what's the deal with you and Bomberman?"

"It's…weird to explain. Let's just say it makes his actions predictable and leave it there." Midoriya shifted uncomfortably as he realized how weird his relationship with Bakugo looked to anyone without knowledge of their history.

"That bad of a breakup, huh?"

"No." Izuku cleared his throat. "Sorry. No, not that kind of thing." A sigh. "So. Sugar Rush, right? Got a graph or some kind of explanation for the strength-smart change rate? Equivalent inverse? Exponential? Logarithmic?"

"Eh. IQ is a bullshit metric, don't know how it's still a thing. There's not really a good way to put it. Maybe something like down a couple grade levels and 80% increase in strength per 30 grams of sugar?"

"Neat. How much do you usually take at once?"

"100 grams. Tripling is usually a good trade-off for having the focus of a 5-year-old." Rikido shrugged as he started rolling his shoulders, his bright yellow costume clinging to his muscular frame as he threw a couple jabs. "Probably best to hold off on doing that, with this being a relatively delicate situation."

Izuku sighed. "Not that that'll stop Bakugo from throwing around explosions like they're about to make fireworks a criminal offense." He also started stretching, his sand slowly forming into armor around him as he did. "He hates standing still, and he refuses to be a defensive player. He'll be coming for us as soon as this begins. He's really good at fighting with or without his quirk. Kaminari said his quirk involves electricity, so he's probably a menace at close range." He stopped stretching long enough to run his hands through his hair. He breathed out a deep sigh. "I think this is a case where you're gonna have to focus on being stealthy or otherwise surprise them. I can ground Kaminari, and I've fought Bakugo enough to know his moves and prevent major injury."

"So you're gonna be the distraction, and I'll try to get around them and either use capture tape or get the objective."

"Right-o. Ready Freddy?"

"It's Rikido."

"Hah. Nice."

"BEGIN!"

"DEKU!"

"Bring it, Kacchan!"

boom

fwoosh

"Dammit, right in my eyes!"

crackle pop POP BOOM

"Watch where you're pointing that thing!"

thwack thump

"Don't tell me what to do!"

popopopop POP KABOOM CRASH

strangled gasping

WHUMP

different strangled gasping

pow

sock

zop

CRACK

"Ow!"

headbutt noise

(in stereo) "Dammit!"

sprinting

"GET BACK HERE AND TAKE YOUR ASS KICKING DEKU!"

"NOW!"

CRASH

"GET OVER HERE!"

"Where'd you come from, banana bo-HEY DON'T YOU COME AT ME WITH THE TAPE! DEKU YOU LET GO OF MY ARMS OR I'LL-"

"KATSUKI BAKUGO HAS BEEN ELIMINATED!"

"Crapbaskets."

"Hey Kaminari."

"Hey Midoriya"

"I don't suppose-"

"Indiscriminate Shock, 1.2 Million Volts!"

"Midoriya? You ok?"

"My whole life just flashed before my eyes."

"wheeeyyyyy"

"HEROES WIN!"

A/N: Alright, fuck it. I'm admitting defeat for now. This was going to be all the rest of the fights, but I've been struggling to figure out how to do the next one. As you can see, I'm trying to keep things dynamic by switching up how the actual fights are written when compared to strategy. Lmk whatcha think about it.

Bright side, with this we're now 60% of the way through…oh my god it's only day 2 of high school. No worries, I still got this. No abandonment here. No regular updates still, but that's just the ADHD, amirite my fellow neurospicys?

Having a day job isn't helping (especially when they're underpaying, amirite!?), but I know I'm not doing quality enough to ask for your money. Yet. We'll see what the future holds. So, friends, fans, foes, fam, fantasies, and furies, I wish you all a good day, and I tip to you my jingly hat.

Coming up next, we ask First Years in UA's business course their opinions and predictions for the Japanese economy. Let's see if we can get some market crash-[THIS BROADCAST IS EXPERIENCING TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. THANK YOU FOR YOUR PATIENCE AND PATRONAGE. PLUS ULTRA]