Dear Maya,

I have a lot of apologies to make to you, and though I wish to do so in person, I understand you may never wish to meet me, so I hope you'll at least read this letter. Read my apologies to you.

The first time I met Jasmine was on the Hogwarts Express when we were eleven and on the way to Hogwarts. We clicked instantly. She was my cousin by birth, but she became my best friend, my sister in all but blood, by choice. We were inseparable throughout our years at Hogwarts, playing pranks and causing chaos every year, I'm fairly certain we drove more than one teacher to drink. It wasn't just me and Jasmine, there was a whole group of us, we called ourselves the Marauders. I always thought we'd be together forever, united by love and friendship, but that not how it turned out.

Outside of the safety of Hogwarts a war was raging, a pointless, useless war, that claimed the lives of many good people. When we left Hogwarts aged eighteen and so sure that we knew everything, we immediately joined up to a group that was fighting back against the Death Eaters. We were so sure of ourselves, and so determined to fight for what was right. For truth, justice, a better world. None of us knew what we were really getting into, but even if we had I doubt it would have changed our decision. As your grandmother always used to say, 'No darkness is so complete as one in which people are too afraid to search for a light.' The world was dark, but we strove to find the light.

I don't know when the rat first turned away from what we were fighting for. I don't know if there's anything I could have done to stop it, any clue I missed that would have made me realise he was no longer a brother in arms, a brother in heart as he had been during our school years. It was my fault that your parents used him as a Secret Keeper when they went into hiding. You see although I was placed in Gryffindor by the Hat, I was raised to be a Slytherin, the lessons we learn in our childhoods, whether good or bad, are hard to shake as adults. I was taught to be ruthless and cunning, and I used those lessons to hatch a plan that I was certain would work.

It was common knowledge that Jasmine and I were the best of friends. When my mother threw me out aged sixteen, it was the Potter's I fled to. They took me in immediately gave me a home, a real home, for the first time. So, it was no surprise to anyone that Jasmine would choose me to be her Secret Keeper, I was the most obvious choice. But that's where those Slytherin tendencies rose up, I was the obvious choice, so I thought why not let people think that. Let the Death Eaters come after me, but make someone else the Secret Keeper. I thought they'd be safer that way. Jasmine and Luke saw the sense in my plan, and they asked the rat to take my place. He was the only other option, Moony and Nightshade were too entrenched in their own positions as spies to be a valid choice. So, you see it was my fault. My plan that led to your parents dying before you could ever know them. The first apology I have to make to you is for that.

I'm sorry for the role I played in your parents deaths. Sorry that you will never know the wonderful people they were and how much they both loved you.

Jasmine asked me to be your godfather the day after she discovered she was pregnant with you. It wasn't even a choice, there was no way I was ever going to say no, turn down the precious gift she offered me. I was the third person to hold you after you were born. I was supposed to be the fourth, but Alice had given birth to Neville the day before and you were born so late at night that she was at home resting, so that honour fell to me. I loved you from the minute you were placed in my arms, I'm pretty sure I loved you before that, but holding you seeing you for the first time, is one of the greatest memories of my life. In that moment I promised your parents and I promised you that I would be the best godfather anyone could hope for. I swore to love you always, which I have and do. But I also swore that I would never let anyone hurt you, that I would protect you from everything and everyone that might seek to do you harm. I broke that promise, and I can never forgive myself for that. So, my second apology is for that.

I'm sorry.

I should have been there for you after your parents died. I should have protected you, loved you, raised you, but I didn't, I couldn't. Part of that was out of my control, I trusted the system and the system failed. But part of it was on me. When I got to Godric's Hollow after that attack Hagrid was there. He'd rescued you from the wreckage of the house and you were bawling in his arms. I asked him to give you to me, I wanted to hold you, comfort you, promise you that everything was going to be okay. Hagrid didn't, he'd been sent by Dumbledore to retrieve you, and Hagrid is loyal to the bone, he would never go against Dumbledore's orders. If I had known where he was going to take you

I argued but eventually gave in. I assumed that Hagrid would take you to Hogwarts, the safest place there was, and that I as your godfather and named guardian could take custody of you once everything was sorted out. Without you to worry about for a few days I allowed my rage and hurt to overtake me, and I decided to hunt down the rat and turn him over to the ministry for what he had done. Unfortunately, my rage blinded me, and he managed to get the better of me, killing twelve innocent muggles in the process. I was arrested. Even then I assumed the truth would come out in the trial, that I could prove my innocence. But it was not to be, my trust in the system was misplaced.

So, you see why it was partially on me. I should have gone with Hagrid to Hogwarts, should have stayed with you and let the aurors hunt down the rat. I didn't and we both suffered for my mistakes. I was sent to Azkaban, and you were sent to the Dursley's. I've met the Dursley's, and I heard Luke speak of his sister and her husband enough times to know what kind of people they are. I don't know exactly what you experienced at their hands, but I know it must have been bad. And I will understand if after this letter you decide that you don't wish to talk to me or see me ever again.

I'm sorry.

Sorry for everything you've been through the past twelve years. Sorry for the role I played in how it all turned out and if you can't forgive me, I will understand.

As you no doubt know cousin Cissa is working on fixing that failure and now that rat-bastard Pettigrew has been caught I'll finally get the trial I should have had twelve years ago. Cissa says you're happy where you are and I understand if, after everything, you don't want to get to know me, but if you do, I'd like that very much.

Your loving Godfather,

Sirius.

Caroline knocked on the frame of Maya's bedroom door, poking her head inside as she did so and frowning when she saw Maya lying on her back, hugging a pillow tightly and staring at the ceiling. Maya was a pretty active kid, so it was completely unlike her to just lie there and do nothing. What was more worrying was the tearstains she spotted on Maya's cheeks when she turned her head towards the doorway upon hearing Caroline's knock.

"Hey, Damon said you were up here. Can I come in?" Caroline asked softly, not wanting to intrude.

Maya nodded and went back to staring at the ceiling. Caroline decided to join her on the bed, grabbing a pillow of her own to hug and lying down next to her to stare at the ceiling as well. Feeling a pang of sympathy for Maya, who's current mood seemed to reflect her own.

"Are you okay?" Caroline ventured after a few minutes of just lying there in silence. She propped herself up on one elbow and looked at Maya with concern. Her face was pale and drawn, and her eyes were dull and distant.

"Not really." Maya replied, her voice barely above a whisper. She hugged a pillow to her chest and stared at the ceiling. "Are you?"

"Not really." Caroline sighed, flopping back on the bed. She ran a hand through her blonde hair and tried to sound cheerful. "I told Matt he said he needed time."

She saw Maya glance at her sympathetically. It had been a difficult conversation, and the outcome hadn't been what she was hoping for. She couldn't really blame Matt though it was a lot for anyone to deal with. Let alone someone whose mom had just tried to kill them.

"Sorry, I know you were hoping he'd be okay with it all." Maya said softly, reaching out to squeeze Caroline's hand.

"It could have been worse." Caroline smiled slightly, trying for her usual brand of upbeat optimism. Her smile was like a ray of sunshine in the gloomy room. "At least he didn't immediately dump me. So, what's got you down?"

"I got a letter from my godfather." Maya said, biting her lip.

Caroline frowned, confused.

"Damon wrote you a letter?"

"No." Maya shook her head, "my other godfather."

"The one who escaped from prison?" Caroline gasped, her eyes widening. She had heard bits and pieces of the story, but she still couldn't believe it. How could someone be locked up for twelve years for a crime they didn't commit?

Maya nodded her head. She looked like she wanted to say more, but she hesitated.

"Was it a good letter?"

Maya shrugged her shoulders, but didn't otherwise respond.

"You can talk to me about it if you want?" Caroline offered. "Or we can just continue to lay here and admire the ceiling."

If Maya didn't want to talk about it, she wasn't going to push. Caroline had always wished for a little sister, ever since she was a kid. She had begged her parents for one, but they had never granted her wish. She understood why, later, when her dad left them for another man. Her parents might never have given her the little sister she wanted, but the universe had provided. Caroline loved Maya, she loved all of them, the whole quirky family that had built up around Maya. That had accepted her into the fold, even before she became a vampire. It was the sort of family she'd always wanted. A family where she didn't have to feel so lonely all of the time.

She loved her parents, of course, but they had drifted apart over the years. Her dad had immersed himself in his new life with Stephen, while her mom had thrown herself into her work, avoiding the painful truth of her husband's departure. And Caroline had been left to take care of herself. They loved her, she knew they loved her, but they were just never really there for her in the way she needed. Damon and Stefan were, Maggie and Enzo were, Maya was, Tyler had weirdly enough become another one of the people she relied on. She'd asked the universe for a sister, and the universe had done one better, giving her a brother as well. A whole family really. And it was because of all of them that her friendship with Bonnie was stronger than it had ever been. They'd become exactly what she needed, and she hadn't even had to ask.

So, if what Maya needed was to lay here and talk about painting the ceiling. Then they would do just that. If Maya wanted to talk about her other godfather and the letter, then Caroline would listen. If Maya wanted to go and prank Enzo, then Caroline would go and retrieve the glitter canons from where Damon had hidden them last. She would be whatever Maya needed her to be right now, because that's what it meant to be an older sister. To be family.

"I think I might paint it." Maya said after a moment.

"The letter?"

"No. My ceiling. I think I might paint it. Dark blue with all the constellations in gold. I saw something similar online, I think it would look good."

"It would definitely fit the theme." Caroline responded, glancing over the mural that decorated Maya's bedroom walls.

"Damon's my godfather." Maya said after another few minutes of silence as she sat up on the bed, clutching a pillow to her chest. A pensive, troubled look clouded her face.

"He is." Caroline responded with a slight nod, as she sat up as well, crossing her legs and facing Maya.

"Lady Magic chose Damon, but my mum… My mum chose Sirius Black."

In the eight months she's known Maya, she could count on one hand the amount of times the younger girl had mentioned her mom, and still have fingers left over. She didn't speak this time, it was clear to her that Maya had more to say, stuff she wanted to get off her chest. She was just searching for the right words.

"He said mum asked him the day after she found out she was pregnant." Maya bit her lip, "He said… He said he made a promise to my parents and to me, that he would never let anyone hurt me…"

"Oh Cosmo…"

Her heart went out to the younger girl. Even if she didn't know everything that had happened in Maya's past. She knew enough to know that the girl had been hurt. Badly and repeatedly. Maya had Damon now. Had a family now. But that didn't erase all the hurt that had come before. Nothing would.

Caroline didn't know what else was in the letter. But she knew she wanted to wring Sirius Blacks neck for making promises he couldn't possibly keep. For mentioning such promises to Maya, who was not only old enough, but had been hurt enough in the past, to understand that he couldn't possibly keep them. But who was still young enough to wish it was possible. He might not have meant to, but his letter had hurt Maya, Maybe it had helped her too, Caroline couldn't say for sure. But no amount of helping was worth a single bit of the pain it was putting her through as well.

"He said he was sorry. For breaking his promise. For not being there for me. Sorry for…" Maya paused and took a deep breath. "He said he was sorry that it was his plan that got mum and dad killed."

"I thought –" Caroline began, before quickly breaking off, not sure how to say it delicately.

"He said it was his idea. To make… to make the rat the Secret Keeper. He said he thought it would keep them safer that way. But they weren't." Tears spilled down Maya's face as she began to sob. Caroline gave into her own urges, leaning forward and pulling her into a tight embrace.

"No one. Not even someone with divinatory abilities. Can see the outcome of every decision they make." Caroline said when Maya's sobs had faded into the occasional sharp breath. "People make decisions every day about little things, big things, normal things, all the things."

Maya huffed out a breath laugh, and Caroline smiled softly, knowing that despite the hurt Maya was feeling right now, she was gonna be okay.

"It's not always possible to know if they were good decisions or bad decisions. Not until you look back on them and see how the chips landed."

Maya pulled back a little, nodding gently and brushing her tears away with the sleeves of her jumper. Seeing that she was still listening Caroline continued.

"People also make mistakes. He made promises he shouldn't have. I think most adults do to kids they care about."

"Why?"

"Because it helps them to feel safe and loved. Protected. The world is a big and scary place, especially for kids, and even more especially for the adults who love those kids. So, they make promises they shouldn't, promises that are completely impossible to keep, because it makes the world seem less big and scary than it actually is." Caroline smiled wryly, "Because it makes the adults themselves feel better."

"Damon does it sometimes."

"So does my mom." Caroline admitted with a soft laugh.

"He apologised. Sirius, I mean."

Caroline reached out and touched her shoulder gently.

"You don't have to accept his apology, you know."

"What if I want to?"

"Then that's your choice to make as well. But whatever you decide, I'll be here for you. Always."

"He said he'd understand if I didn't forgive him. Or want to see or speak to him ever again."

"That's also your choice to make. You get to decide if your forgive him or not Cosmo. And even if you do accept his apologies and you do forgive him, that doesn't obligate you to do anything else. You don't owe him or anyone else anything."

"I think… I think I want to… Write to him, that is. I…" Maya bit her lip and looked unsure. "He knew my mum, my parents, he knew both of them."

"And you want to know more about them."

Maya bobbed her head slightly.

"Damon. He only met my mum once. He hasn't really been able to tell me anything about her. And Aunt Cissa and Auntie Andi, they were older than my mum and in a different house at Hogwarts, so they've only been able to tell me so much about my mum and hardly anything about my dad. And I know he was only my stepdad, but I still want to know about him. I want to know so many things about them and –"

"And your godfather knew them both, personally. He'll be able to tell you things about them that others can't."

"Yeah."

"So, write to him. Ask him for stories about them." Caroline sighed quietly, hating how unsure Maya looked right now. "Writing a letter doesn't obligate you any more than accepting his apologies or forgiving him does. You have complete control over how much contact you have with him and what kind of contact that consists of. And if he pushes for more than you want to give… well you have several family members who'd happily eat him if he does anything to hurt or upset you." She finished with a sharp toothed grin, flashing her fangs slightly, and startling another laugh out of Maya.

"I love you Care."

"I love you too Cosmo." Caroline replied pulling her into another tight embrace.

A hug which ended as Caroline began to tickle her mercilessly, making Maya shriek and squeal with laughter. Until it ended up devolving into a pillow fight, that continued up until one of the pillows exploded, sending feathers everywhere and earning a hoot of annoyance from Hedwig.