I've had a life changing experience lately, and because of this, I can finally focus on mefor the first time in my entire life. :D Oh and my y key works now :D.

I have up to chapter twenty of this story written out. Not much better from the last time, but the story is getting more intense, which makes it more difficult to figure out what I need/want to so with it. Also, I tend to have made a few errors so I'll have to go back and fix them.

My headcanon (well some of it) appears in this chappie! I love those. I'm glad I can make some for Naruto because doing them for Yugioh was/is a blast :D.

Thank y'all for all of the support! This story makes me so nervous to write since I'm new and all, but y'all have welcomed me! And I truly do appreciate it. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: OroNaru, cannon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter Four: Ripples

Orochimaru

I slowly open my eyes. Even in the dark room, I know exactly where I am. How did I get here? I try to think back, but my mind reels with information that won't help in this current situation. I try to sit up but only collapse back against the bed. I must have used too much chakra.

"So you're finally awake," The Fourth's brat says in that obnoxious voice of his.

"What are you doing here?" I rasp weakly.

He scoffs. "Taking care of you. What else?"

"Taking…" What? This must be a dream. Yes, that's it. This is a dream. There's no way this brat would take care of me. Unless… perhaps he wants something? Well, too bad! He won't get anything from me.

I attempt to sit up again. I feel myself falling backward, but instead of falling onto the bed, I feel an arm wrapped around me. Is he seriously touching me right now? I look to my left and there he is: sitting in my bed beside of me. Touching me! I level him a glare.

Naruto rolls his eyes, snorting. "You want some Ramen? It's from Ichiraku. Best Ramen in the world!" he cheers, stuffing half the bowl of noodles in his mouth in one bite.

"Why are you sitting in the dark?"

He makes an annoying slurping sound and did he just swallow those noodles whole? "Well, I figured that the light would bother you since you're basically a snake. I mean, Sasuke said a lot of snakes are nocturnal so…"

"And when have you ever cared about my comfort?"

Naruto shrugs, finishing the bowl. "Well, if I were dying I'd want someone to make me as comfortable as possible. I mean, you were in bad shape. It seems like you went to Jiraiya's memorial in bad shape, didn't you? I had to use my powers to heal you. You tried to do your shedding thing, but you were too weak to do it. You have to be starving! Here," he says, twisting around to put the empty bowl on the small table behind him. A shadow clone hands him a large steaming bowl. He thinks himself, who in turn, acknowledges it before disappearing. He carefully hands me the bowl. "You got it?"

"Why are you treating me like a child?"

"I'm not. I'm just trying to help," he says, fluffing the pillows up.

I pick the chopsticks up. "And what if I don't want your help?"

"Well, do you see anyone else around? I certainly don't."

"I can take care of myself."

"Well, I know that, but at the current moment, you're pretty drained. This is the first time you've even been coherent and stayed awake longer than five minutes."

"And how long has this been going on?"

"Well, basically a month? I'm not really sure. I didn't keep up with the time."

I snort, slowly eating the noodles. "Typical."

"Hey, we all can't pay attention to detail and be a genius like you."

"Please stop acting dumb. It's beneath you."

"Huh?"

"You heard me."

I notice the room has brightened up slightly. Must have been one of his shadow clones. I spot a glass of water on the table behind him. I wrap my tongue around the glass, pulling it towards me, then putting it in my hand.

"You know; I could have easily gotten that for you."

"And as you can see," I scoff, placing the cup to my lips. My hand starts shaking really badly. I spill a bit of the water, "I have it."

"Here. I got this. You just drink it, 'kay?" Naruto says, holding the cup and titling it.

I really want to kill him right now, but water seems more enjoyable right now. So, I decide to let his stupid helping me hold the cup slide and let the water slide fill my mouth and slide down my throat in perfect refreshment. Unfortunately, that moment doesn't last long and I begin coughing, gasping for air like a fool.

Naruto takes the cup away, placing it on the table. He sits on the bed more, rubbing my back. "You'll feel better soon enough. Just hang in there."

"Shouldn't you want to destroy me?" I gasp, slowly catching my breath.

"That would be extremely counterproductive. First of all, I said that I wanted to find peace in this world. You are a part of this world and I don't like seeing anyone including you miserable. Then there's the fact that you are Pervy Sage's and Granny Tsunade's teammate and friend, and since they're good people then there must be something about you that's good, right? And that, of course, ties into the third thing."

"Which is?"

"I want to understand you."

"Why?"

"Well, you mean besides Granny Tsunade and Pervy Sage being your friend?"

"Yes."

"Well… I'm not sure. I just… want to."

I roll my eyes, picking up the chopsticks again and eating my food.

We sit in silence for a moment. It's, unfortunately, broken by Naruto's loud mouth filled with annoying questions.

"So what's your favourite food?"

"Do you actually want to know or are you bored?"

"Hm. Both?" he laughs. He moves so he's facing me and crosses his legs.

I suppose I can entertain the child's questions just this once. "I like eggs."

"Eggs are alright. How do you like them?"

"Whole and with the shell."

"Like hard-boiled…?"

"No, like raw."

Why do people say 'like' in every sentence? We do not need that word to get a clear sentence across! It's degrading to human intelligence! Then again, humans are stupid. Most of them anyway.

"Umm, I don't think you should be doing that. It'll make you sick."

"Well, I've been doing it all my life and haven't gotten sick once so..."

"Well, you really are like a snake. So were you always like this or did you make yourself this way?"

"Depends on what you're talking about."

"Really? I just assumed you made yourself like a snake."

"For the most part, I did."

"Then what were you born with that's snake-like?"

"My eyes."

"Your eyes are interesting. I really like the colour, and those markings really bring them out," he says, reaching out and stroking them.

I tense.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt ya. I mean c'mon now! I wouldn't attack someone who can barely sit up. And 'sides, it'd be very counterproductive as I saved your ass."

"That was the last thing on my mind."

"Well, why'd ya tense up for?"

"Why did you touch me?"

"I have no idea. Something told me to, so I listened to it. It's always right."

"Whatever you want to do, child," I say handing him the bowl.

"You want more?"

"No."

"Alright, well just let me know. I have shadow clones at Ichiraku as we speak!"

"No doubt bothering the old man and flirting with his daughter."

"Nah. I mean she's alright, but I'm not into her."

"Oh, that's right. You like Hinata."

"Well, yes, but I don't love her like that."

"Oh? What brought this on? Surely you don't think you'll get Sakura."

"Oh no. I know that. I don't want Sakura either. I thought I loved her, but I don't. She and Sasuke are in love and I'm happy for them. Actually, Sakura is pregnant."

Their child might end up with the Sharingan. That would make Sasuke happy. At one time it would have made me extremely happy, but not anymore. I still love the Sharingan, but those days of trying to be someone I'm not are over. I'll learn everything in my own terms, in my own way, in my own time.

"That's not surprising. Sakura threw herself at Sasuke every time she saw him."

"Well… yeah, she kinda did," he laughs. "Hey, have you ever been in love?"

"…what?"

"You heard me. I mean I'm sure you have a heart in there somewhere."

"Does it really matter if I have or have not?"

"Well, yes. I mean if you say no then that's the end of the conversation, but if you say yes then-"

"I'll have to go into elaborate detail so I'll save us both the breath: no."

He studies me carefully. He opens his mouth, closes it, then opens it again. "How are you feeling?"

"Do you want the whole truth, half the truth, or a full lie?"

"Umm… the whole truth?"

"I feel better than when I first awakened, but I hate that you're taking care of me like I'm some old man."

"Umm no offense, but you are an old man."

"I am not old!" I hiss, wrapping my tongue around his neck.

He gasps, trying to pull my tongue away. "Hey! I said 'no offense'! Calm down!"

"I don't care! Don't call me old, child! I am not old!"

He pulls away from me, standing up. "Listen; everyone grows old. Well, unless they die before that time, but they would have. It's okay. You don't have to be embarrassed about it."

"I'm not embarrassed."

"Then what's your problem? I mean you just flipped the fuck out like I took your favourite… um, whatever you like."

"You may accept aging and death, but I don't."

"Well, it's just part of life."

"No, it's not. I'm going to put a stop to death."

"That's not possible."

"What do you call this then?!" I hiss, gesturing to myself. "This isn't my original body."

"I know that, but you're not 100% immortal. You can still die. Sure, not like everyone else, but it's possible. You need to accept it."

"Never."

"Why are you so against death?"

"I told you this before: death is suffering."

"And how do you know this for sure?"

"How do you know it's not?"

"Well… actually, I don't."

"Alright then."

"You know; for someone who is psychotic and enjoys torturing people, you sure do care about the dead a lot even though a lot of those people you put there."

"Well, I lost sight of my true purpose in life."

XXXX

Naruto

"You mean saving people who are dead?"

"Yes."

"That seriously can't be your purpose in life. I mean you have to accept the fact that they're dead. I know it hurts, but maybe talking about it would help? You can talk to me."

"Talking isn't going to bring them back!" he hisses.

"Well, no but it'll help you feel better."

"And how would that make me feel better knowing that they're suffering?"

"You're only assuming they are. You don't know for sure!"

"And you don't know for sure that they are not."

"Why do you even think they are?"

"The divine white snake showed me the truth."

The divine white snake? Huh?

"Listen; we're going to have to get you a new hobby. You need to get out more and enjoy life. There's a lot to see. You shouldn't be hiding in here trying to do something that will never come to pass."

"It will! I will bring them back!"

He sure is determined. It's almost sad. Pervy Sage was right, the death of Orochimaru's parents must have really affected him. It must have started with them and then escalated into others. How many people are on this list of his? If I had to guess, not many. Then again, I don't really know much about him. That will change soon enough.

"Why aren't you this sweet to everyone?"

"What?" he pales more than he already is.

"Yeah. I mean, like I said before, you're about all this torture and experiments and shit, but for dead people, or I suppose specific dead people, you're just all about saving them and stopping their suffering. It's really sweet you care so much. My advice would be to be that way to people here. It would help you a lot."

"I talk to who I have to and that's it. I don't get involved with fools of the village."

"And yet, you helped protect those so called fouls in two wars."

"The first time was only because I was loyal to the village and the people I cared about. I never cared for them. The second time was for my own benefit."

"Even so, you still protected them."

"Believe as you wish, child."

"So what are those markings around your eyes anyway?" I ask after a bit.

"Clan markings."

"You were in a clan?"

"Not one worth remembering, but yes."

"What were they like? What was it called? What did they do? What happened to them? How come I've never heard of them?"

"A bunch of fools. It doesn't matter. They summoned snakes and made poisons. My parents killed them. Because they're not important."

"Well, your parents were part of the clan and they're important to you so…"

"They are, but the clan isn't."

"Why do you hate your clan so much?"

"Is it necessary to ask me every aspect of my life?"

"I want to know who you are."

"I'm Orochimaru."

"That's not… exactly what I had in mind… you know; you can ask me anything if you want. I mean this isn't just one-sided."

"Could have fooled me."

"You know that expression never made any sense to me."

"Does anything?"

"Well, yeah. A lot of things do."

"But I don't?"

"No, not at all! You're just way out there."

"And you find this wrong?"

"No. I don't find it wrong. I just think you need to work on some things. I think you could have a lot of friends and have a lot of fun if you weren't so self-absorbed and living in a cave."

"I don't like people so I don't understand how that would be fun for me. Being here having everything I need is good enough for me. I don't exactly have anywhere else to go."

"You could come home."

"Absolutely not."

"Don't you miss it at all?"

"I miss being able to make it suffer."

I narrow my eyes. "If you even think-"

"Oh relax," he scoffs, "as if I have the energy? I won't waste my time with that pathetic place."

"Attitudes like that are why we lived with hatred for so long."

"Hatred is still around. Don't blame me for that."

"Well, I'm trying to get rid of it."

"You've done a pretty decent job, I must admit."

"I'd hope so. I did unite the Five Great Nations, of course, I had help. I really had it from you. If it weren't for you…"

We wouldn't have won that war. The extra help from the Hokage and Orochimaru himself really changed the outcome of that war. Not to mention the answers Lord First and Lord Second gave Sasuke. It truly changed his way of thinking, which in turn, changed the war for the better. Although, it saddens me that I didn't get to truly know who Obito was.

"As I said earlier, it was for my own benefit."

"So what's your favourite age to be?"

"Twenty-five."

"Why twenty-five? I mean when you tried to take over Sasuke's body he wasn't twenty-five."

"I never said I didn't like anything younger or anything older than twenty-five. You asked me what my favourite age was, which I answered. Not my favourite age range. And to answer your question about why I like twenty-five, to put it simply: you're still young, but you're old enough not to be more mature and handle things differently than a teenager would. Of course, it's different with my situation as I'm still the same person regardless of the age of the body I'm in."

"So then why would it matter what age you were?"

"It doesn't. It's just the age I like the most."

"Anything good happen?"

"Not really."

"Has there been any good in your life?"

"That would depend on your definition."

"Well, I was meaning your definition…"

"Then yes."

"Care to share?"

"Finding the divine white snakeskin."

"Why do you keep calling it divine anyway?"

"Because it is."

…okay then. "Well, that thing must be super special to you. I still have the bowl I ate my first ever bowl of ramen in. I can still smell the noodles from here," I sigh, inhaling then exhaling happily.

"You didn't wash…?"

"Hey, I don't want to hear it! You're keeping a dead piece of skin, dude."

"Don't call me that, and that's completely different than keeping a dirty dish. Bugs and bacteria have no doubt gotten on that."

"Yes, I know. It's why I washed it. I just have the bowl put up."

"Well, that's good."

"Yeah, it got really bad at my house."

"Do you not clean?"

"Not really. It's just not my thing."

"And… have you trashed my place?"

"Of course not. I'm not like that."

"Are you done bombarding me with questions now?"

"Nope!" I grin.

He sighs. "Fine. Get on with it."

"Well, why don't we each ask each other questions? I mean, we both want to know about each other, right? So…"

"Fine."

"Alright, so what age ranges do you like picking when you find new bodies?" I can't help but shudder. I can't imagine how those poor people must have felt when he took over their bodies. He should be satisfied in the body he's in now.

"Sixteen to thirty-five."

"Interesting. I suppose those would be good ages to be. Alright, it's your turn."

"Who is your favourite and who is your least favourite of the tailed beasts?"

"Umm… damn, that's a tough one. I guess Kurama would be my favourite cause we're been together since I was born, and we have a very special bond. Now, for my least favourite. That's even harder because I love them all. I don't think any of them lesser than the other because I believe they're all equals." I pause. "Oh shut up, Kurama," I tease. "So yeah… kinda can't pick one. Sorry."

Orochimaru shrugs.

"Okay, so it's obvious what your favourite animal is, but what about your least?"

"Anything that has fur or hair," he replies, shuddering.

"Really? I love fur! Kurama and Matatabi are super soft and cuddly!"

"Yeah. No."

"Well, alright then."

He's so strange, and so… interesting.

"What is your least favourite food?"

"Vegetables. Like corn and-"

"Corn is a fruit."

"Say what?!"

"I assume you don't know much about the anatomy of plants."

"Umm… plants have anatomies?"

"Of course they do; they're living."

"Alright, well can you explain to me how corn is a fucking fruit and not a vegetable?"

"Well, first you need to know what the definition of a vegetable is."

"And that is?"

"A root or stalk. So, tell me, does corn fit that description?"

I think on that for a bit. "Well, no…"

"Then how could it be a vegetable?"

"Okay, so potatoes are vegetables because they're roots, right?"

"Correct."

"So what I thought was a vegetable is actually a fruit?"

"For the most part. Although a lot of what you believed to be fruits aren't actually fruits."

"Then what are they?"

"Some are berries, some are pome fruits, some are fleshy receptacles, some are drupes, others are aggregate drupes. It just depends on what you're referring to."

"Huh?! How do you know all this shit?"

"It's called reading. Did you think I was joking when I said I wanted to learn everything?"

"Well, no. I just thought it only applied to ninja things."

"Not at all. Of course, jutsu was my main focus."

"Was? So you don't want to learn everything anymore?"

"I never said that. I've just shifted my focus. I have time to learn all the jutsu and the world's secrets. You know what my main focus right now is."

Yes, but is he going to go down that crazy path again for this cause of his? I'll have to keep an eye on him.

"Well, so which ones are which? I mean if we're going to talk about food I want to make sure my food is in the right category."

"Bananas, grapes, and bell peppers are considered to be berries. Strawberries are called fleshy receptacles and the seeds of them and sunflowers are called aceens. Blackberries and raspberries are aggregate drupes. Nuts are fruits along with corn as I mentioned earlier, green beans and zucchini are fruits, but walnuts and pecans are not nuts. They're drupes along with peaches, plums, and coconuts. Pears and apples are pome fruits. Those are just some examples."

I stare at him both in awe and bewilderment. It's amazing that he knows that. I mean who the hell knows that?!

"Okay, but how can you tell if something is a berry, a drupe…?"

"The way it is on the plant it's grown on and when you eat it, mostly. For example, fruits are the ovaries of plants because they have seeds, so all of those that I listed above can't be fruits because they don't classify as fruits, so they put them into different categories."

"Oh okay. I think I get it now."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. I mean it's going to take a while for this to sink in, but it made sense."

He actually makes a lot more sense than I gave him credit for. When he's not blabbering about jutsu, experiments, and 'divine white snakes' then he's not too bad. "Whose turn is it?"

"You technically never answered my question."

"Oh right. Umm okay. Well, green things aren't really my thing. I mean I don't care much for corn, but… hmm… I don't know. They're all pretty equally gross. What about you? You said your favourite is eggs, right? So what's your least?"

"Yes. I don't like cold food. Actually, I hate the cold in general."

"Well, I'm not into the cold, but I like some cold food. Like ice cream."

"Do you ever regret helping anyone?"

"Absolutely not. I want to be able to understand people and be there for them. I don't want anyone to feel that they don't have someone because I will be that person for them. No matter what they've done. Everyone has a reason for why they do the things they do. It's not fair to judge until you know the entire story and situation. I have before with you, and I apologize for that. I was angry and believed you stole Sasuke, but that was never the case. Of course, you didn't help matters, but it wasn't entirely your fault. Besides, he's back now so…" I shrug. "Everything worked out in the end."

"Well, I would have if he didn't have that will of his."

"I suppose that's fair enough. Alright, have you ever fucked?"

He stares at me. "What…?"

"You know; fucked. Like, had sex."

"I know what you're talking about. Why did you ask that?"

I shrug. "Just curious."

"I'm not into that."

"You're not 'into it'? What? Why not?"

He keeps his gaze on me. Oh. Of course. No one's been interested in him. I don't understand why. I mean once you get past that superiority complex of his and that weirdness, then he isn't so bad. Then again, he could be just tolerating me because he can't do much without me. Though, he's not one to accept such things without a fight.

"I've been much too busy with other matters."

"So the rumours I heard…?"

"You mean the ones where I molest and rape people, specifically boys?" he hisses, gripping the comforter hard.

"Yeah…" I trail off.

"I have never in my life done such a thing. I have never even thought of it. If I were going to make love it certainly wouldn't be with an underdeveloped or developing child!" he hisses, shaking.

My eyes lock onto his. "People have really treated you like shit, haven't they?" I whisper.

Some things I'd like to address here. 1) Believe it or not, what Orochimaru said about the food is actually the truth. I know, right? I was shocked as hell myself, but if you think about it, it does make since if you go by these certain definitions of what fruits and vegetables are. I love to read and watch different things. Knowledge is power, after all ;). (School is just a drag lol). 2) I don't believe in the whole "Orochimaru is a pedophile because he wants Sasuke" shit. Honestly, I don't get where people come up wit that shit. I know he acts "weird" but I have my own theory on that matter, which will come up in this story.

Oh and if y'all are wondering this is the only "20 questions" chapter. Also, I know Naru and Oro get in the "experimenting is wrong" and "death is suffering" conversation a lot, but I have my reasons. Don't worry; they'll talk about and do other things. It's only the beginning :).

Preview for next chapter:

Naruto

"I don't want you dead! I want you to stop messing with people's lives!"

"And the only way to stop that would be to kill me. I'm sure you wouldn't have a problem. I'd run out of chakra with my shedding technique faster than you'd get tired of butchering me over and over again. You'd like to skin me alive, no?"

My stomach tightens up, my heart pounds. I feel clammy and sick all over. I shake. I clench my fists and slow my breathing down, trying my best to calm myself down.

Next update date: April 22nd

I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time :).