So... today would have been my mother's 43rd birthday. My sisters and I went to her gravesite, as we always do this day. Even after eight years, it's still not easy accepting that she's gone. So, this is why I'm updating this today.

In other news, it appears I did get the job, but I haven't actually started working yet... not sure what the deal is. What does "I'll call you on Friday to let you know when to come in for training" but never do supposed to mean? Guess I"ll find out tomorrow? *shrugs*

Through Chapter Twenty-six is completed, y'all! :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: OroNaru, cannon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter Six: Drift

Naruto

I groan sleepily as I feel Kurama nudge me awake.

'What? Can't you see I'm sleeping?'

'Wake up, but don't make any noise or move.'

'What? Why?'

'Just do it.'

I slowly open my eyes and do a double take. Orochimaru is cuddling me! What…?

'He waited until you fell asleep then moved over. He seems to want to be close to someone.'

"N-no… don't go!"

'What is he…?'

'A nightmare.'

'Thank you for pointing out the obvious.'

'You asked.'

I roll my eyes.

"I'm sorry! Please don't leave me!" Orochimaru sobs against me.

I pull him closer, rubbing his back gently.

"I… I know I'm messed up, but… I can fix it!"

'What exactly is wrong with him?'

'How should I know? He just smells sick.'

'Like how exactly?'

'Well, his chakra is really low for one thing…'

'And?'

'The smell is the strongest at his head.'

'Then it's a mental problem?'

'Possibly.'

Does Orochimaru have some sort of mental disability? If so, that may explain a lot of his thinking and actions. It doesn't excuse what he's done per se, but perhaps it will explain why better than he can.

"J-Jiraiya… just hold on! I'll save you!"

'He's very devoted to the Toad Man.'

'Well, they were best friends.'

'Now who's pointing out obvious things?'

I shake my head, continuing to rub Orochimaru's back soothingly. He moves closer, snuggling into my chest. I look down at him. He's… kind of… cute…

'Did you just use the 'C' word with Orochimaru?'

'C'mon, Kurama, tell that isn't adorable.'

The fox snorts.

I never thought in a million years I'd put such words with Orochimaru, and certainly not trying to comfort him.

'You've always been an unpredictable knucklehead with a huge heart.'

I have. I've always cared. I don't know if it's a strength or a weakness to care the way I do. I really shouldn't care about this man, and yet… I want to help him. It's not right for him to suffer this way. Maybe if I help him then he can see how good life can be. Because, honestly, he's just existing.

He needs help, and he needs it desperately. But, he's not going to let anyone help him, especially me. He needs to open up. Let someone inside. But, he's not going to. He bottles everything up. And yet…

And yet, I look down at him. He clings to me, gripping the front of my slightly soaked shirt and tangles our legs together. His cold feet brush against mine. I shiver slightly before releasing more of Matabi's powers.

Please

Help

Save

Sorry

Those words. He repeats them over and over again. He tries to push it on others. He's apologizing for not saving the people he loves. He wants to help them; he wants to save them, but there's so much more.

He's the one who needs to be saved.

I brush a few strains of hair out of his face. I let them fall between my fingers. "Damn, you have some silky hair. Sakura would be so jealous of you."

"It's called taking proper care of your hair. You should try it sometime," he mutters.

"Well no one ever taught me, so I just do what I think is right."

Orochimaru shifts, turning over and pulling all of the covers over him.

"Hey! Don't take them all! I want some too!"

"Get your own. I'm cold."

"Well, I'm trying to keep you warm! You're the one who moved away from me!" I pull some covers out of his iron grip hold and pull him close. "Why are you always so cold anyway?"

"I'm a snake."

"Umm… okay?"

"Did you shower?"

"No. I was going to, but you were cold-"

"Shouldn't what you have to do be more important?" he asks, turning a bit so he can look at me.

"You know that I don't work that way."

"Such a strange child," he scoffs, turning back over.

"How are you feeling?" I ask after a bit of silence.

"Exhausted."

"Yeah, I can imagine. You had a pretty bad nightmare."

"Well, when I have those just beat me over the head. It'll knock me out."

"…what?"

Even though I can't see him, I have a feeling he's rolling his eyes. "Nightmares are common. It's not as if I'm dying."

"Well, I know that, but if you need to talk then…"

"I don't need to talk."

"You get nowhere with him."

"I have to try."

"Yes, I know."

"And you'll help me?"

"Of course. We all will."

"Thank you."

"Everyone needs someone."

"When will I be well enough to move around?"

"You can move whenever, but you just have to take it easy. You're still very weak. If it were me, I'd-"

"No, you wouldn't. You'd jump right up and start doing whatever you wanted to do. I know how you work."

"How?"

"I used to watch you train."

"What? Seriously?! How did I not notice you?!"

"Did you think an inexperienced child such as yourself could possibly find me? Kakashi couldn't even sense me. I know how to hide. I've done it for years."

"And yet, Jiraiya tracked you so easily."

"Jiraiya was a special case."

"That I have no doubt about. Why don't you try and get some sleep?"

"Alright, but no talking. You're loud," he mutters, snuggling into his giant pillow.

I watch him sleep for a bit. He moves around some, but otherwise just stays where he is. I know that nightmare won't be the last I'll ever witness. Not by a long shot.

(a few weeks later…)

XXXX

Orochimaru

I watch Sabiniji as she slithers up my leg and coils around my torso, and rests her head against my arm. She hisses tiredly. I study her carefully, rubbing her head. "Is it time, girl?"

"Time for-whoa! That is one big snake!"

"Quiet. You're disturbing her. And you've seen bigger."

"Yes, but those were summons. So what is she doing?" Naruto asks, walking over to her and reaching out.

I grab his hand. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not? Will she bite."

"She may."

"Would you give me the antidote?"

"Pardon?"

"The antidote. If she bit me would you give me the antidote to get rid of the poison?"

"It's called venom, and there would be no need."

"Huh?"

I continue to rub Sabiniji gently as I close my eyes for a moment. "Alright, which part are you confused about?"

"Both."

"There are three types of snakes in the world: venomous, nonvenomous, and constrictors. The word "poisonous" refers to having to ingest something toxic, such as a plant or if someone tries to poison you. The word "venomous" refers to injecting toxins with fangs or a stinger. Are you with me so far?"

"I think so. So are all things with fangs venomous?"

"As far as snakes go, yes."

"Wait… I thought all snakes had fangs?"

"Then you would be wrong."

He frowns. "Seriously?"

"Yes. Now then, the three different types of snakes. Let's start with venomous snakes. Those are cobras, rattlesnakes, coral snakes, for example. Then there are nonvenomous snakes. They aren't truly nonvenomous-"

"Then why are they called that? I mean if they have venom then shouldn't they be thrown into the group with rattlesnakes and shit?"

"No. While they do have venom, the venom doesn't affect us at all. Unlike a cobra's. An example of this snake would be a garter snake."

"So are the poisonous to other animals then?"

"Venomous, and yes."

"Right. Venomous. Alright, what about the constrictor snakes?"

"Well, what do you think?"

He thinks on it for a bit. "Well, constricting is squeezing, so… they squeeze?"

"Exactly. They have no venom, so they have to use their powerful bodies to squeeze their prey."

"What kind of snake is that?" he asks point to Sabiniji, who is squeezing me slightly.

"A rainbow boa."

"She's super pretty!"

"Thank you. I find them to be absolutely flawless and perfect."

"Don't you think that for every snake?"

I smile a bit. "You got me."

Naruto laughs.

"So do you-" I stop midsentence when Sabiniji shifts, lifting her tail. "Can you get me a towel and the plastic tuboware in the kitchen please?"

Naruto frowns. "Sure, but why?"

"Sabiniji is about to have babies."

"Huh?!"

"Just go get the items, please."

Naruto looks at me for a bit then leaves. He comes back a few moments later with the items.

"Hold the tubaware and hand me the towel."

Naruto does what I ask, watching as I lift my snake gently and place her on the towel.

"It's alright," I say gently.

"You're so kind to them."

"I'm trying to make her as calm as possible. Any female would want to be while giving birth."

"I don't understand…"

"Just watch. You're about to see something remarkable."

Naruto and I watch as a small, blood-covered baby rainbow boa is pushed out of Sabiniji.

"What the fuck?!" Naruto gasps, jumping back. "What… that snake just… a baby snake just… what…?!"

"Calm down. You're upsetting her."

"Sorry," he says. "But… did you see that?"

"Yes. I've seen this many times."

"How is this even possible?"

"How is what possible?"

"You know the snake coming out of the big snake?"

"It's just how they're born," I say picking up the snake gently. "Come here; I need to put the snake in there."

Naruto nods, putting the tub so I can place the snake in gently. A few moments later, another is born. The process is repeated until five snakes are born.

"You did well, Sabiniji."

Naruto stares at the squirming, bloody snakes slithering around on each other in a twisted pile of goo. "What just happened? I thought snakes laid eggs?"

"They do."

"But this one didn't! I saw the babies coming out!"

"Some snakes lay eggs, some give live birth, some do both."

"Huh? I thought only umm… like people and things like that did that."

"Mammals. Yes, mammals give live birth. Well, most of them. There are two special types of mammals, but we can get back to that."

"So I guess Sabiniji is one that gives live birth?"

"Yes."

"So which lay eggs, which give live birth, and… both? What does that mean?"

"It means that they have eggs inside of their bodies they could expel, but instead have it within their bodies. The babies hatch and come out like live birth."

"That's so cool! Can you give me examples of each snake that does these things?"

"Pythons are oviparous, which means they lay eggs, boas are viviparous, which means they have no egg at all and give live birth-like we do, and rattlesnakes are ovoviviparous, which means they have eggs inside their bodies, hatch inside of the mother, and then come out."

"That's super cool! Hey, Sabiniji, you're really pretty and cool, ya know? You should be proud of yourself for having those babies. It must have been hard work, but totally worth it. I mean look at these things! They're so cute!"

"Cute? You think they're cute?"

"Hell yeah, man! I mean look at them!" he exclaims, showing me the snakes.

"They're very precious. I just didn't think you liked snakes."

"Eh. I'm not really sure. I mean, I don't really know much about them. I try to stay away from them, but seeing this today… I want to learn more."

"I can certainly teach you about snakes."

"Yay!" Naruto beams the plops down on the floor, setting the snakes in front of him, and watching them. "Ya know…"

"Hmm?"

"Well… you're a really good teacher. I mean, I actually understood what you meant."

"I'm glad you understood."

"Yeah cause no one really explained anything. It was so confusing, but with you even he most confusing of things can become easy. I'm not sure how you do it, but it's pretty incredible."

"Do you wish I would have taught you instead of Jiraiya then?"

Naruto thinks about it for a bit. "Yes and no."

"Explain."

"Yes because you make a lot of sense in your explanations, but no because despite all of that, you have things I can't agree with."

"You mean my experiments."

"Yes. It sickens me."

"And yet, you still want to learn things from me?"

He shrugs. "I like to learn new things. I can't really control what you do, but I can learn a lot from you. I mean you've done all this reading, studying, and researching, so you're bond to know things that interest me."

"I highly doubt you're interested in what I am, but if you wish to learn then I have no problem teaching you."

"Just don't think I'm stupid and give up on me."

"Stupid? You're far from stupid."

"What? I mean… I know I've gotten better since I was twelve, but…"

"You're a genius, Naruto."

"What?!"

"What's confusing now?"

"What do you think? You just called me a genius!"

"Yes. And?"

"Why? I'm an idiot! I ain't no genius!"

"I'm not a genius," I correct.
"Yes, you are!"

"You misunderstand. I didn't mean "I" as in myself. I was correcting your statement. The "I" in question is you."

"Correct it?" he frowns. "How come?"

"Because it's incorrect. You had a double negative: "ain't" and "no". If you have them together then that creates a positive meaning, so what you actually said was: "I'm a genius"."

"Wow. That's pretty cool. I'll have to remember that next time. Damn you're so fucking smart, man! I'm jealous!"

"You're a genius as well."

"You keep saying that, but…"

"You don't feel like you are?"

"No. I mean all my life I've been called an idiot, worthless, a fool. Hell even you've said it!"

"I didn't understand at the time. Forgive me. You are not an idiot. You seem that way to most people, but only because they are comparing you to themselves and someone like Sasuke."

"Yeah, but even normal people seem smarter than me."

"I."

"Huh?"

"Add 'do' to the end of your last statement, and say the last four words."

"Smarter than me do? Ugh! That sounds awful!"

I laugh. "Do you see why you have to say "I" in that statement? Jus use that trick. You can also take things away, but that works when you're talking about doing something with people. For example, you would say: "Sakura and I are going out" instead of "Sakura and me" because if you take "Sakura" out of the sentence you'll have "me go…" and that isn't correct."

"So when do you use me?"

"In situations where you become the object of the sentence. For example, if you were talking to someone about the war, and you told them about Hinata protecting you, you would say: "Hinata protected me" not "Hinata protected I" because it's incorrect to put "I". Does that make sense?"

"I think so."

"Good. I apologize for getting so off course."

"No worries. This is very interesting stuff."

"I'm glad you think so. Well, now I suppose I should explain how you're a genius."

"That would be nice."
"Do you know about the two hemispheres of the brain and what they do?"

"Umm… I don't know…"

"There are two sides. The left and right hemispheres. The left side controls the right side and the right, the left. Are you with me so far?"

"I think so. It's weird that the left side controls the right and vice versa. I mean, wouldn't it be easier if they controlled their own sides?"

"Perhaps, but that's just not how it works. Anyway, both sides have special tasks they have to do. For example, the left side is responsible for logical thinking that has to do with mathematics, science, and languages. While the right side has creativity such as art, spatial abilities, faces, etc. Make sense?"

"That's really cool!"

"It can be, yes."

"But wait…"

"Yes?"

"that doesn't explain how I'm a genius."

"Even though everyone uses every part of their brain, some people use their left sides more while others use their right. Now then, which side do you think I use the most?"

"Your left?"

"Yes."

"Well, don't people who are all good at that sciency stuff and all that shit always geniuses?"

"It depends. My father was good at science and math, but he was nowhere close to where I am."

"So if you're super amazing at science and math then you're a genius?"

"Yes and no."

"I don't' get it."

"Yes, I am a genius because of my ability to figure things out on a scientific basis faster and more efficiently than others, but you are also a genius."

"But I'm not good at that shit."

"You don't' have to be. You're a right-brained thinker. It's your ability to be in situations that seem impossible for even the most talent of ninja and devise a plan that even shocks your teammates. You keep everyone guessing and wondering what you'll do next, yet you put on this front that you're a complete idiot. It's truly remarkable. Absolutely genius."

Naruto blushes. "I… thank you, Orochimaru."

"Next time someone calls you stupid; remember what I said."

Naruto smiles. "I will!"

Preview for next chapter:

Orochimaru

"It's… not… nothing…" he forces out between hyperventilated gasps.

"Does it bother you that much that I experiment on myself?"

He responds by letting out a choked sob.

What…?

"Why do you care? We're not friends. And wouldn't it be better me then your precious people?"

He shakes his head violently. "Everyone… matters. You… matter…"

"Well, okay then, but what does that have to do with self-experimentation?"

"You could… die…"

"Wouldn't that be good for you?"

"N-no! I don't… want you to… die!"

The grammar Nazi in me came out in Orochimaru lol. Seriously though, if you don't know when to use I or me the correct way, try getting rid of the other subjects in the sentence and see how "me go to the store" or "John got behind I." goes for you lol.

So the snake. I figured Orochimaru would breed snakes too. Why not? Well, he does in my headcanon :D. Everything he said about them is true. It's amazing how snakes have babies in three different ways, huh?

Naruto being a genius. I mean just think about it. Why are there only left-brained genius? What? We all have to be good at math? Do you know how much thought has to go into this story? In my artwork? I can't play sports, do math, science. I can't fix anything, but if you ask me to make you something, draw you something, write you something, you best believe I can do it (just may take 20 years) I'm not saying I"m a genius (cause I"m definitely not lol) but what I am saying is that there are more ways of being intelligent than people believe. ;).

Also, on the 5th is another special occasion update. The next one will be on the 1st of July though, so no "random" updates. (Random for y'all, not me).

Next update date: May 5th* & 6th

I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time :).