Today is my birthday! Happy Birthday to me! :D. I'm now -62 today! :D

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: OroNaru, cannon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter Twelve: Haze

Orochimaru

I watch Naruto waiting for me to start. His attention fully focused on me. I don't think I have ever seen him this focused. Come to think of it, he seems more focused on me these days than anything else. Strange. I wonder what's going on inside this child's mind.

"When I was a child, I found the shed skin of the white snake. Do you know what they represent?"

"No."
"Good luck and renewal. Sarutobi-sensei said I had good karma, and that my parents were reborn somewhere."

"And you've been searching for them ever since?"

"For a while I was. I didn't want to believe the words and the visions I saw."

"Words? Visions?"

I nod. "The moment I held the skin, I felt something powerful from within it. It was a powerful aura I had never felt in my life. I didn't tell anyone about it. I just took it home with me. I put it in an aquarium and kept it by my bedside. Everything seemed pretty normal. I lived my life as normally as I could. One day, that changed."

"Why? What happened?"

"The Divine White Snake spoke to me for the first time…"

I place my bag of books down on the bed, grinning. Books from the Hokage library! I can't believe Jiraiya's transparency jutsu actually worked! I pull out the top book. A book on mastering all five chakra natures.

Sensei would be so proud of me if I learned how to do this! He can certainly do it! I'll be the best ninja in the world! I'll become powerful and then I'll be able to find my parents!

"I'm afraid that's impossible," a deep voice hisses.

I look around; eyes sharp and ears alert. I grip the kunai tightly that I took from my weapon pouch. My snakes slither out of my sleeves, flicking their tongues.

"No enemy, Lord Orochimaru."

"Strange. Then who's talking to me?"

"I am."

"Jiraiya, I swear if you're playing games-"

"I have no time for your childish games, Orochimaru. This is extremely important."

"Well, you wish to talk to me then you should at least introduce yourself and present yourself. It's disrespectful how you're talking to me."

"I don't play by human rules. Besides, I can't exactly reveal myself to you. We have to connect."

"Connect? What are you talking about?"

"There is so much about this world that you don't understand."

"Yes, that's why I'm learning. Knowledge is power, after all."

Who is this talking to me? I flick my tongue. There's no chakra present. Yet, someone clearly is here.

"That is one of the many problems of this world."

"What? Death?"

"Indeed."

I frown. "Death is a part of life. Everyone dies. It hurts, but… we're ninja. It's to be expected."

"It's expected and accepted by you humans. You have no idea what truly goes on in the afterlife, do you?"

"Well, no. But it has to be a happy place, right?"

We can't for no reason, right?

Right?

The voice laughs. Dark and humourlessly.

I glare. "What's so funny?"

"Let me show you something interesting, child. I think this will change your views and help you see things my way."

"Who are you?" I demand.

"You will know in due time. For now, place that book aside and open your eyes to the truth."

I shake, feeling the air in here get chilly. I wrap my arms around my torso, rubbing my hands against my arms. Suddenly, the room starts spinning into blackness and I start to fall.

"Hey! What are you-!"

I hiss, landing on hard stone. I sit up, taking into my surroundings. "Where am I?"

"The place of true suffering," the voice replies.

"True suffering?"

"Just watch. You will see what I mean. Keep your focus, child."

Through the dark, foggy environment, I see traces of what appears to be some sort of wall. My eyes travel the wall, more walls connect. A labyrinth of some sort?

I walk inside of it. The atmosphere drops a considerable amount; I shiver.

I walk through the labyrinth. Besides the uncomfortable chill and lack of sunlight, I don't understand what this thing is trying to tell me. True suffering? Who is suffering? I haven't seen one person since I've been in here.

I take a turn and gasp as something whizzes past me with blinding speed. Another blur passes a few moments later. What the hell?

I follow the blurs. Screams and sobs and a sinister cackle echo off this part of the labyrinth. Those screams… that sounds like…

"Tsuru!" I exclaim. I flick my tongue to pinpoint is exact location.

After many twists and turns, I finally find my recently deceased friend. He's in the corner, back pressed against the wall with tears streaming down his face. An enormous creature as large as a summons with large black wings folded against its back and horns curved down wearing a black shredded rope. Its dark red limbs are covered in tattoos and its hair is a long wavy black. It holds a red pendulum.

"Now, now, child. It won't hurt that bad. Honestly, I thought you'd be more fun than this! No wonder the great Yashagoro clan got wiped out! It's full of weaklings!" the creature cackles.

Rage fills me. Our clan was not weak!

"Tsuru! Get up! Fight this thing! You're stronger than this!"

"He can't hear you. Nothing can break him of this."

"Of what? What's going on?"

"His suffering. You see, this labyrinth is the home of nightmares and misery."

I frown. "How does that work exactly?"

"When someone dies, they are placed in this world. The reapers chase their prey through the labyrinth."

"And you expect me to believe this?" I scoff.

"Believe what you will, child. It will come in due time."

"Wow. So how do you know that this snake told you?"

"Being around the snakeskin I found made the voice come more often and the images he would show me were more vivid than when I wasn't."

"That's crazy. So how long did it take you to believe him?"

"A few years. Seeing people die one by one, I began to wonder why we were so fragile. I wanted to do something about it."

"And that's where you came up with becoming immortal?"

"Well, technically, that came after wanting to know everything. I thought if I knew everything I could uncover the secret behind what I had been the Divine White Snake had kept showing me. I kept it to myself. I didn't know how to explain my visions. All I knew was that I had to do something. I wasn't about to let my family and my friends suffer."

"Of course not. So what made you believe the snake?"

"He constantly showed me. I saw for myself how terrible the afterlife truly was. I couldn't imagine having to suffer life's hell then go into another hell. Only this hell was eternal. I had to figure out a way to stop this endless cycle. I refused to end up like that. I had to stop those creatures no matter if I lost my sanity doing so."

"That must have been awful. I'm sorry, Oreo," Naruto says, reaching out and rubbing my knee.

"It's okay. Like I said, I'm going to save them."

"And what if this turns out to be wrong? Then what?"

"I'm not wrong. Everyone who is dead is suffering in some way, shape, or form."

Naruto doesn't say anything for a few moments. "So how does this labyrinth of yours work anyway?"

"I'm not completely sure. It seems to have different areas that a reaper rules. A person is in an endless loop of their own nightmares. I suppose you could say it's like an eternal Tsukuyomi."

"Those are the creatures that chase everyone, right?"

"Yes. There are reapers that guard different entrances to the labyrinth to prevent escape."

"But you were able to enter."

"We didn't see each other."

"But you saw the one attacking Tsuru."

"I questioned the Divine White Snake about that. He told me that it's because I hadn't tapped into his powers and needed someone who was once close to me dead so I could see the reapers."

"That's strange. So this labyrinth is just home for reapers to torture people for eternity?"

"That's what the Divine White Snake told me."

"What if these reapers cross paths? Do they fight?"

"I'm not sure. There is still a lot I don't understand about that world."

"So where is this Divine White Snake you keep talking about? Why isn't he doing anything about this suffering?"

"He's trapped in a large tower in the center of the labyrinth."

"And you're the only one who can set him free?"

"The only one who was willing to listen, yes."

"Didn't that freak you out? I mean I certainly would have been."

"I must admit, it was terrifying; however, the terror was only an obstacle I had to face. It's nothing compared to the suffering we endure when we die."

"And you're trying to figure out a way to stop it?"

"Yes. I have a way to counteract it. Although, convincing people seems to be the most difficult of my tasks."

"Your tasks?"

"Indeed. I was put in charge of stopping the Reapers."

"I don't understand. I thought there was only the Reaper Death Seal? How come no one has ever heard of these other reapers?"

"Oh no. There are many reapers. Each of them has their own special job they do. There are also reapers living just outside and inside the tower. From what I understand, reaching the tower is an obstacle the dead person must reach. They have to be pure in order to be saved by the Divine White Snake."

"So what do you have to do with any of this?"

"I have the power to destroy the reapers. Since I'm immortal, they can't do anything to me. I can save everyone. I can help them reach the tower and gain the help of the Divine White Snake. It all makes sense now how the White Snake is good luck and renewal."

"What about the Reaper Death Seal?"

"That is a special Reaper. It is able to go between worlds. It lives inside the tower and holds onto its victims. Those people suffer inside of it, but they're protected against the other Reapers."

"I bet seeing the Reaper Death Seal was pretty terrifying."

"It was. I thought for sure I was going to have to suffer in that thing. If Sensei had been ten years younger, I would have…"

"What made you hate the village though? I mean Old Man Hokage was only trying to protect it. I don't think he was trying to traumatize you, Oreo."

"A lot of factors had to do with why I turned on the village I swore to protect. I was in a bad place at the wrong time. The suffering I saw both in the afterlife and in this world, Tsunade's agony of losing Dan and Nawaki, Jiraiya leaving to train those Ame brats, the wars, my clan being massacred, the pressure of having to be perfect to ensure victory in war, the chance to finally figure out how to end the suffering of the dead, the realization I was going to die someday, the answer to stop death and strengthen our regenerative powers, and the disappointment and disgust in Sarutobi-sensei's eyes."

"Well, I can't blame him. I mean you were killing people."

"I never intended for that to happen. I had to do something. I had to make us stronger."

"But don't you think we should unlock our own powers? We should walk our own path, Oreo. Besides, if what you say is true then why are you doing it alone? You can't do everything."

"Because I'm the only one who found the shed skin of the Divine White Snake. It was only a piece, but that piece I have kept as a reminder of what I have to do. What my true purpose is in life."

Naruto closes his eyes. "Well, just don't overwork yourself, okay?"

I nod. "I'll do my best."

"Are you alright? I'm sure that helped to talk to someone about it."

"A little."

"I'm glad. Is that all you know about it?"

"Unfortunately," I sigh.

"Well, I could help you if you wanted."

"Are you sure?"

"I mean, I'm not going to experiment on people, but I think helping you gather information and clues will help you and you may be able to lessen your experiments, right?"

I shrug. "Perhaps. Whatever we can find will certainly be useful."

I can't believe this child actually want to help me. But why? What is he up to? The thing is, Naruto is never up to anything. So why this all of a sudden? I have to know. He can't possibly believe me. Does he…?

Did I just find the one person who believes me?

XXXX

Naruto

I listened to every word Oreo had to say about the afterlife. So he was told it was suffering? What I don't understand is who told him. He said when he found the white snake skin, he felt an aura and it eventually talked to him and showed him these weird visions?

Umm… okay?

And then there's what Kurama said a few months ago. He said Oreo smelt sick. So then, did Oreo imagine this? Which means that what Kurama said a few months ago would make sense. There's something seriously wrong with Oreo. I just don't know what.

Visions.

Hearing voices.

Believing what is heard and seen.

Dammit! I don't know enough about mental disorders to figure this out! I need help! But… who would help him? Kabuto? But Kabuto had been with Oreo for years and he never did any sort of exam on him. In fact, Kabuto admitted that he agrees with Oreo's ideals. But those ideals are insane! How the hell is that even true?! The people who have died can't be suffering like that. They just can't!

I don't want Oreo to close up again. If I admit I think he's not thinking right and what he told me was insane then that's exactly what will happen. Hell, he may take it a step further and either lock himself in his lab to prove he's right or go back to Jiraiya's memorial.

I have to help him, but how?! I'm not sure if Sakura and Sasuke are back in the village. I suppose I could ask Kakashi-sensei, but will Oreo want to go back to the village? It's not as if he's not allowed. We both know that. But he wouldn't want to get examined for a mental problem when he believes he's perfectly fine. So then, how do I figure this out?

'I think it would be best if you played along with him. He's opening up to you a lot. Perhaps in doing so, we can figure out exactly what has triggered this. It seems like trauma and his mind trying to reason out that trauma. I believe waiting to hear what happened to his clan will give us a lot of clues. After all, it all started when he found that white snakeskin."

That's true. It's taken eight months for us to get to this point. I can't believe it's been that long, and yet, it feels like no time has passed by. I have truly enjoyed getting to know this man. I wonder if he's enjoyed me as much as I've enjoyed him?

"What about that snake? Have you ever heard of this Divine White Snake?"

"The only white snake I can even think of is Hebimaru of Ryuuchi Cave."

"Hebimaru?"

"He's the Snake Sage. He's said to be as old and equal to Gamamaru."

"Then perhaps he has some answers?"

"He may, but you don't have the snake contract. You can't enter Ryuuchi Cave unless you have that contract or are from the Yashagoro clan."

"Dammit! Then what am I supposed to do?!"

"I'm not sure, Naruto."

"Dammit!" I hiss, punching the wall in my mind. Tears stream down my face. "Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Why can't I ever do anything?!"

Kurama wraps a tail around me and pulls me close. "Don't be so hard on yourself, Naruto. You can't expect to know the answer right away. Orochimaru just told you about these visions he had been getting. We will figure this out. I will talk to the other Bijuu and see what they have to say on the matter."

"I just… can't stand the thought of Oreo suffering like this."

"You've grown to like him quite a lot, haven't you?"

"Yeah… I guess I have…"

"Do you still hear the snake?"

"Yes. He has become angry with me."

"How come?"

"Because I've been slacking. I need to get back to the task at hand."

"These things take time. He should help you figure this out."

"He's already given me what I needed. I just have to put the pieces together."

"Yet, you're not getting anywhere, are you?"

Oreo sighs, leaning back on his arms, and staring up at the sky. "No."

'I wonder why,' Kurama scoffs.

His tale was utterly ridiculous; I have to admit. And yet, I feel there is something to it. So much more. I just have to figure out how.

"Well, like I said," I say, throwing my apple core into the woods, "I'm going to help you figure this out."

Oreo looks at me for a while. "Why are you doing this?"

"Huh? Doing what?"

"This," he sits up. "Helping me."

I frown. "Haven't we been over this? I care about you."

"Why?"

"Because…"

Well, I don't know. I just do. He's not my friend or enemy. No… is he? What are we? I stare at him. We've become so close. And yet, I always feel there is a wall between us. I know I can break it if I just keep blasting it.

"Because we're friends."

"Friends," he mutters.

"It's been a while for you, huh?"

Oreo doesn't say anything. Letting someone in-especially me-has to be difficult for him. These past eight months, we mostly spent our time arguing. And when we weren't doing that, we were talking about jutsu, missions, or the war. But now…

Now we're getting so much deeper.

"You know; my first friend was Konohamaru. It's strange that he's not my best friend. I don't know if it's because he was still in the academy when I became a Genin or what exactly. We just never connected like Sasuke and I did, yet there are things that we can bond over that Sasuke and I can't."

"You mean that ridiculous naked woman jutsu you and he do?"

"Hey! That jutsu has done extremely well for me, thank you!" I grin.

"Just don't do it around me. It's degrading."

I frown. "I don't see how."

"It's degrading to yourself and to women."

"How so?"

"Because you don't need to result in turning your body into a sex object. One day, you're going to do that to the wrong person, and they're going to try something. And knowing how kind you are, will try to figure them out. But, they won't care. They'll just take what they want. You'll have to end up killing them. Then you'd be all upset, and blame yourself that you were raped. Which, of course, it would be your fault. And then there's the fact that the Biju would get upset and if the man did happen to escape, he'd get his little friends and you could get gang raped and then the Biju would be even more upset. It's just not worth it."

"You sure have a wild imagination."

"Do you think I'm playing? It can happen."

"You seem like you know."

"I've seen it happen, yes. And, looking the way that I do I have had to do my fair share of being a woman."

"And people raped you?"

"No, but I did what I had to do. A mission is a mission. Like I said before: knowledge is power."

"Then why are you on my ass about my sexy jutsu?"

"Because you do it for a laugh. You do it because you want to prank people and see a man's reaction. You put your body on display to tell rapists that they are welcomed to harm you."

"Well, I guess that's true… I just…"

"And it's degrading to women. Women already hate their bodies, so making your body what the ideal woman should look like only decreases their self-esteem and makes them feel disgusting and hopeless. And, of course, you make them out to be sex objects. It disgusts me how women are treated."

"So then you didn't like Pervy Sage's peeping?"

"I never minded that he did that, honestly."

I frown. "But he watched women bathe."

"I'm aware."

"Then how were you okay with that?"

"Jiraiya didn't do it with the intention of harming them. It's just something he enjoyed. I knew it didn't mean anything."

"Did you ever watch the women with him?"

"No."

"Why not? Didn't you wonder how any of them looked?"

"Not really. I had better things to do."

"Are you gay?"

"Why do you ask?"

I shrug. "Just curious. I mean you don't act like any man I've ever known."

"Not all men are slobbering mongrels. Like I said, I had better things to do. I wasn't focused on such things. Not until…"

"Until?"

Oreo shakes his head. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Alright. I'm here whenever you do."

He nods. We sit in silence for a moment.

"So when should I use the Sexy jutsu?"

"In situations where it's appropriate. It seems to be a distraction jutsu more than anything. Certainly not to get information."

"Oh okay. Well, I want to use the right jutsu at the right time."

"Naturally."

"Of course, the sexy jutsu is just one thing Konohamaru and I have in common. We also connected because we both didn't know who we were. I was shunned and out cast. He was praised and spoilt. Yet, neither of us were called by our names."

"You taught him the Rasengan, didn't you?"

"I sure did. He used it when Nagato attacked against one of the Pains."

"I've always found that jutsu fascinating."

"Do you know how to do it?"

"No."

"Strange. You know; for someone who wants to master all the jutsu, you sure are lacking, aren't you?"

Oreo shrugs.

"Man, you sure have changed! At one time, I would have been blasted for the insult!"

"I have accepted that without certain levels of chakra and bloodline, I won't be able to use those jutsu. That's not my main focus now. That has become secondary."

"I thought you were going to fix it where you could?"

He shakes his head. "I don't want to be Sasuke anymore."

"Do you still wish he was your new body?"

"The desire will never leave, but just watching him grow is enough to put the desire at ease. I enjoy his wind, after all."

"Do you enjoy mine?"

"Yes. Yes, I do."

I believe this is the longest chappie that I've posted for y'all. We're finally getting into why Orochimaru hates death so much. The plot is thickening! :D

Preview

Naruto

"Atoms have to share electrons because an atom wants to be in its complete form. By having a full set of electrons, the atom is satisfied. Atoms are always on the hunt to steal electrons from others."

"Well, that's kinda mean! They need to get their own!" I pout. "Poor little atoms!"

Oreo chuckles. "Well, if these electrons were nice then we wouldn't have table salt, now would we?"

I grin. "I suppose not."

Next update date: July 15th

I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time :).