Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden. This is just for fun, no profit will be made from this (and I don't want to either). This is purely for my and the entertainment of Naruto fans.

Dedication: To my beautiful, amazing, intelligent, girlfriend Phillipa (Shadow Spirit Dragon-wolf) for being there for me through not only my writing (both fanfiction and my original story) but real life in general. You have been my inspiration and my support through everything.

Warnings: Violence, explicit sexual conduct (no rape!) homosexual relationship, relationship with a large age gap, struggles with belonging, self-hatred, obsession, self-harm, self-experimentation, human experimentation, mental disorders, a dark view of the "afterlife", (bonding of) pain and isolation, self-worthlessness, and male pregnancy.

Pairings: OroNaru, canon pairings (except, obviously, NaruHina).

Summary: Sometimes, the deepest scars are the ones no one can see, but in a world moving into the light even the oldest inner wounds can be seen

Enjoy! :)

Chapter Twenty-seven: Despair

Naruto

"Oreo? Oreo, I'm back!" I shout as I make my way through the hideout.

I put the supplies away. I was gone longer than I wanted to be, but people just love to talk to me. Sometimes I'm still shocked, but it's nice. It's a wonderful feeling to be loved and admired. Yet, at a time like this, I really didn't want to be talking to so many people.

I get out the medication I thought would be best for him and a cool drink of water. I head into our room. I frown when I see he's not in the bed.

"Must have gone to the bathroom," I muse and set the medicine and glass on the bedside table.

I knock on the door lightly. "Oreo? Are you in there?" No response. "Oreo?" Still no response.

My frown deepens. Did he pass out again? I open the door. He's not on the floor… don't tell me! I dash over to the shower and jerk the door open. Still, no sign of Oreo. Okay… where could he…?

"His lab!" I exclaim, rushing out of the room. I make a few shadow clones as I jump three steps down so they can search elsewhere in the hideout. He is in no condition to be wandering around!

Dammit! I should have left a shadow clone with him! But I didn't think I'd be gone so long! Damn, did he go looking for me and end up in his lab?

I search frantically for my lover. Search in every room of his lab while my shadow clones search the rest of the hideout. Nothing. I run upstairs and head to the spot where Oreo's secret spot is. After we rebuilt the wall, Oreo taught me how to activate the way to get in.

I place my hands on two stones, infusing my Sage chakra into the stones. They light up, opening a small passageway for me to slip through, closing once I've entered the room.

And even in this room, the very room Oreo and I first made love in, he's not here. Panic begins to rise within me, bubbling over the top as I rush out of the room once I've activate the 'door'.

'Naruto, calm down.'

'How can I calm down, Kurama?! Oreo is gone!'

'He couldn't have gotten far. Activate Sage Mode; you should be able to sense him.'

I stop, activating Sage Mode, then running outside. The shadow clones outside are in a deep panic as they desperately try and find Oreo. Calling out his name and running into each other in the chaos.

I deactivate the jutsu and close my eyes, gathering the intel from them. Nothing. Except… wait, one of them did find blood and vomit inside the forest. I run into the forest where the shadow clone found the clue. I'm not all that good at this, but…

I have to find him! I just have to!

XXXX

I don't know how long I've been searching for Oreo. I've looked everywhere that I think he could have gone, and nothing. He's not even at Jiraiya's memorial. Kurama was afraid he may have had a relapse and needed comfort from his friend during this awful time Oreo's been going through and sought out Jiraiya as a way to comfort himself.

Besides the small clue in the forest, there hasn't been anything to lead me in the direction that Oreo could have gone.

"This is ridiculous! Where the hell could he have gone off to?!" I exclaim, punching a tree. It splits, but doesn't fall over like it would have if Sakura or Granny Tsunade would have punched it instead.

'We will find him. It's just taking longer since he's so weak.'

'You say that, and yet, it's been what? Two days?'

'Three.'

'That's even worse! Why can't I find him?!'

'You already know the answer to that question, Naruto.'

'What if he's hurt? What if someone is hurting him? What if-' I panic.

'Don't underestimate him. He may be sick, but he's not stupid. He can take care of himself.'

'I know, but…'

'Just calm down. We will find him. We're all searching for him.'

'Thank you,' I whisper.

We continue to search, and still no sign of Oreo. Days and nights pass. We search everywhere. Even going to the nearby villages to ask if they've seen him. Most people want to ask why I want to know instead of telling me any information. It's sad. People would say that he did it to himself. But he didn't. He never asked for this. He's just an Oreo Snake crumbled and soggy. A snake coiled up with its fangs ripped. (at least, right now)

I can't let him be harmed. I can't have someone who doesn't believe in my idea of peace and forgiveness for all to get their hands on him! I won't! I won't forgive anyone who hurts him!

And yet, no matter how hard I search. No matter where I look. No matter how much power I activate. It's all the same. I still can't detect him. If only… I fall to my knees, sobbing. I can't… this isn't happening! Oreo… Oreo… please… please… just… come back to me. Please…

"Orochimaru, where are you?!"

(present)

XXXX

I slowly open my eyes, groaning. Where am I? The last thing I remember was looking for Oreo… Oreo! I bolt up, but firm hands push me down. I blink. "Captain Yamato? What are you…?"

"Seems there was some sort of mix up. I apologize for that, Naruto."

I frown. "I don't… where is… where is he?"

Captain Yamato turns and points over to a bed across the room. Oreo sleeping soundly.

"What happened? Why is he over there, and why am I over here?"

"Because we needed to check him out, and you needed rest," Sasuke says, walking in the room with his old team.

"Sasuke! What the hell are you-"

"Shh!" Karin hisses, placing a finger over her lips. "Keep it down. Lord Orochimaru needs to rest."

I glance over at Oreo. He shifts slightly, curling up. I smile. Precious… I look at Karin. "Well? Did you find anything."

"Well, from what I can tell, his chakra levels are severely low and his flow is unsteady."

"Yet, there is much sage chakra in his abdomen," Jugo adds.

"Sage chakra? So it's his soul preparing for its shed?"

"No… no this is different. He never got this sick. Well, he did, but it was a different kind."

"Oh. What did you see Sasuke?"

"It's as Jugo and Karin said. It seems as if he's chakra is being blocked and is only collecting in his abdomen. I can vaguely see a tight coil of his chakra and yours."

"Why would your chakra be in there?" Suigetsu asks as he places a clean, cool, damp cloth over Oreo's forehead after removing the old one. S

"I give him chakra often. He's been sick lately, so I thought it could help."

"I think the best thing to do is to go to the village."

"But… Oreo…"

"It will cause him to panic, but if we don't get him help, he will die."

"No," I whisper, pushing my way off the bed.

Captain Yamato tries to stop me, but I push him away. I have to be near my Oreo Snake right now. Slowly, I make my way over to him, refusing to go back to bed to get my own strength up.

I slip under the covers and hold my lover close. "I'm here, Oreo. You're going to be okay," I whisper as tears fall. "I promise. I'm not going to let you die."

XXXX

Kabuto

I sigh, studying the notes written by Tsunade, Shizune, and myself. How could I let this happen?! She's was doing so well! Laughing, smiling, and even playing with the other children. But then… her illness struck her down hard.

Tsurame…

Where did I go wrong? I did everything I could, and yet, it wasn't good enough! It's never good enough! She didn't deserve to die! What did she ever do to deserve this fate?! She was only six years old! Six!

"Kabuto?" Urushi says on the other side of the door.

"What is it, Urushi? I asked to be alone."

"Well, I know that, but there are people outside demanding to see you."

"Tell them to go away."

"One of them is Sasuke Uchiha."

Sasuke? What's he…

"What does he want?"

"How should I know? Seems he has some people with him. I've been hearing of "hurry up and let us see Kabuto! Oreo's gonna die!" and "Shut up, Suigetsu!"

Naruto, Karin, and Suigetsu are here? Jugo more than likely as well. What could they possibly want? I sigh, standing up, walking over to the door, and opening it.

"So will you see them?"

I don't reply. I push past my friend and head to the front door.

"Hey! Wait a second!" he exclaims.

I ignore him and open the door.

"It's about damn time!" Naruto shouts, pushing his way inside.

"Hey, you can't just-"

"Stop, Urushi," I say as the others file in.

My eyes widen when I see Lord Orochimaru wrapped up in blankets in Naruto's arms. He shivers and clings to him.

"Why are you holding Lord Orochimaru?"

"I'll explain all that later. Right now, I need you to check over him."

"Why?" I ask even though I can clearly see that my former master is extremely ill.

"I'm not sure. He's been sick for a while. I've tried to help him, but…" Naruto whispers, looking down at Lord Orochimaru, tears splattering on his face.

"We're losing her, Kabuto!"

"Well, bring her back! I promised her she'd live!"

Beep

Beep

Beep

BEEP!

"We've lost her."

"Noooo!"

"Sakura is back. Take him to her. She will be able to treat him."

"Are you serious right now?!" Naruto exclaims. "You followed him everywhere! You worshipped him for years! Why won't you check him out?! He's going to die!"

"Sakura is a better medical ninja than I am. If he's as ill as you say he is, the better choice would be to provide him with the most medical care, no?" I say, pushing my glasses up.

"And yet, it's also to ensure the safety and well-being of the patient," Sasuke says. "My wife isn't as open-minded as Naruto is. She will probably outright refuse to see him unless I coax her into doing so, and even that is a maybe."

I close my eyes. "I can't-"

"Why?!"

"Hey, kid, calm down. There are children sleeping," Urushi says.

"Sorry," Naruto mutters. "It's just… Oreo is…" He looks at Lord Orochimaru. "Oreo…"

Jugo walks over and places a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "It's going to be okay, Lord Naruto. We're going to figure this out."

Naruto sniffs, holding Lord Orochimaru closer. "Thanks, Jugo."

"Why won't you look at him, Kabuto? Except for Sasuke, you were Lord Orochimaru's favourite. So why are you refusing to treat him now?"

I don't reply. How can I treat my former master? How can I save him? Protect the man who changed my life? My idol? If I had been around then… when was the last time I've even seen him?

We went our separate ways after the war. I wanted to return to the orphanage, and he wanted to return to his labs. Every so often, I'd visit him and help him with an experiment or two. In fact, last year, while I was out, I checked up on a nearby hideout to see it was abandon. A rotting corpse smell filling the room. He was never one to abandon a project. It puzzled me why he would. Now, I think I know.

"A child died under Kabuto's care. She had been ill for a while. We lost her last week," Urushi explains.

"Damn."

"But haven't you seen death thousands of times? Why get so worked up over a little girl? People of all ages die. It's just life."

Suddenly, Lord Orochimaru starts coughing violently. He shakes and shivers against Naruto's body as blood falls out of his mouth.

"Oreo," Naruto whispers. "It's going to be okay. You're going to get better." He looks up at me. "Listen; Kabuto, I know we haven't always gotten along. We've had our differences in the past. I understand you're upset about this girl. I'm sure she meant a lot to you. It sucks watching the people you love die. Watching as they fall into their eternal sleep and you can't do anything to wake them up. But, It's why we have medical ninja like you, Sakura, Granny Tsunade, and Shizune. So people can have that chance to wake up. Are you just going to throw it all away? Are you going to refuse Oreo because you couldn't save someone? Don't turn him away just because she died in your care. You can't compare that situation to this one. He needs your help."

I sigh, closing my eyes for a moment. "And there is still a chance I could fail."

"You've kept him alive when he was dying from the body rejection," Sasuke point out.

"He's right. You shouldn't doubt yourself, Kabuto," Karin says. "You have a lot of skill."

"Please, Kabuto. Oreo needs you..."

"Why do you want me to help him so badly?"

Naruto glances at the man in his arms then looks into my eyes. "Because I love him."

Preview

Sakura

Sasuke pokes me in the forehead gently. "Nice kiss, my little cherry blossom."

I blush and smile. "Yours was nice too."

"Let me put Sarada to bed. We have a lot to discuss."

Next update date: January 27th

I hope y'all enjoyed! Until next time :).