The events of this story take place immediately after WWE Breaking Point, which took place on September 13, 2009 at the Bell Centre in Montreal, Quebec, Canada.
I do not own the WWE, nor do I own any of its characters or other assets portrayed in this story.
This is not fanfiction about real life people. It is fanfiction about characters portrayed by real people. It is no different than fanfiction about a live action TV show or film.
It is Tuesday Night Smackdown episode #526, September 15, 2009, airing from the Copps Coliseum in Hamilton, Ontario, Canada. Just 48 hours removed from the WWE's latest pay-per-view event, Breaking Point. (For story purposes, SmackDown is no longer run on tape delay.)
Following an unrelated interview segment backstage, the broadcast cuts back to the live audience. The familiar music of the current WWE World Heavyweight Champion CM Punk, "This Fire Burns" by Killswitch Engage, begins playing, booming through the loudspeakers in the arena.
As Punk begins his walk down to the ring, his championship title around his waist, he is accompanied by three hooded adversaries. All four parties are donning black clothing carrying the name and logo thereof CM Punk's supposed new faction, "Straight Edge Society."
Once the four have all entered the ring, Punk grabs a microphone as they all settle in front of the hard cam. Punk looks directly into the camera before starting,
"As I'm sure all of you inebriated zombies in attendance tonight are aware, I am CM Punk, your World Heavyweight Champion. I am your messiah, I am your leader, I am your savior. And though it might not seem it just by looking at them, I am also the savior of these three sectaries behind me! Despite the fact that they have more talent in their pinkie fingers than any of you pie-eyed losers ever will in your entire bodies, they, are not so different from yourselves. They have been saved! Saved, courtesy of your truly, the Second City Saint - the Best in the World - the WWE World Heavyweight Champion, CM Punk."
Punk looks back to his three cronies and asks, "Let's introduce yourselves to this paying audience, why don't we?" before looking back to the camera. CM Punk points to the first of his constituents on his right.
"The first of our newly enlisted Straight Edge Society members is one who I'm sure all of you pigs in the WWE Universe know very well."
The first member of the S.E.S. pulls down his hood and reveals that he is Joey Mercury, who has not been seen on WWE television in nearly 3 years. He formerly competed in a tag team with the current Intercontinental Champion, John Morrison, formerly Johnny Nitro. Peculiarly, Mercury, whose hair was previously one of his distinguishing features, is now gone, having been shaved wholly bald.
"Joey Mercury is a man who, for the better part of 17 years - since he was still a child - has indulged in hard drugs and alcohol! A merely juvenile victim of the poisoned American culture! It makes me sick to my stomach! Booze, beer, painkillers, heroin, and cocaine! All at just 15 years old! All because of you disgusting people in this country glorifying this repulsive and lethal lifestyle! Joey Mercury is a victim. No; Joey Mercury, is not a victim. Joey Mercury was a victim. For he has now been saved!"
CM Punk then points to the second of his constituents, this time on his left. She pulls down her hood, still being unknown to the fans. She, similar to Mercury, is also shaved completely bald.
"This is Serena. A fan, just like all of you, that I hand-picked from the audience to be saved. Unlike the lot of you ingrates, Serena here was very, very appreciative of my helping. It was that very same night when I selected her from the crowd that she told me she was an aspiring professional wrestler. Being the good Samaritan that I am, I pulled some strings with the suits up at the office and had her a WWE contract signed that very next day. She may be new, but under the guidance and watchful eye of her savior CM Punk, she'll have no problem adjusting around here."
Finally, Punk points to the third of his constituents. A much taller individual, he pulls down his hood to reveals the familiar face of Festus, former professional wrestler who has not been seen in quite a while.
"Now while you drunkards may know him as Festus, truly, this man's name is Luke Gallows. Manumitted from his shackles put forth by his family and friends, Gallows is no longer a beer-bellied bastard as he was before! No longer will he be held back by an alcohol-induced deteriorated mental state, for he has been saved! Festus is no more! Rid your minds of that name, for he has changed, and all by dint of the Straight Edge Savior, CM PUNK!"
"We are the Straight Edge Society. Finally, this company will be spearheaded by a dominant force that isn't popping pills and politicking with the bigwigs backstage. In just a few months' time, the Straight Edge Society will make sure that no stone will be left unturned - every single one of you, along with every single person in the back," as Punk points towards the stage and by proxy the backstage area, "will be saved!"
Punk lowers the microphone from his mouth and pauses for a second, before lifting it back up.
"And well, if you cannot be saved, well, the Straight Edge Society will have no choice but to beat you into a pulp, throw you out back, and leave you to rot in a pool of your own spit, vomit, and blood - not that all of the drugs and alcohol wouldn't've done that last part for you anyways. We here at the Straight Edge Society pride ourselves on being efficient, getting the job done and taking you out of your own misery before you can drink yourself to death, surrounded by nobody. Aren't we so thoughtful, my associates?" Punk looks back to the other three members of the S.E.S., awaiting a response. The three all collectively nod in unison. Punk looks back to the camera, smiling.
"So, in case any of you sweathogs couldn't digest all that was just said, let me put it in more concise terms. The Straight Edge Society runs the WWE now, and it's sink or swim under our regime. If you're not with us, you're against us - and you better be with us. For your own good."
Before any nerds get on my case, I would like to preface that I am well aware that in canonical WWE lore, the Straight Edge Society didn't actually debut until November of 2009. Furthermore, I am also well aware that Joey Mercury did not join the group until April of 2010. Though this takes place a few months before the group's actual debut, CM Punk had been portraying a cult-like straight edge character on WWE television as far back as June 2009, when he started his on-screen feud with Jeff Hardy.