A/N- Hi, I'm still alive! I promise I have no plans to abandon this fic. I had a baby and got a serious case of writers block. But, here I am, hopefully I've got my groove back! As always, all mistakes are my own.

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Severus groaned at the feel of her small fingers kneading between his shoulder blades. It probably wouldn't actually do much for his nerve pain but it did feel nice. And who was he to say no to a naked little witch rubbing her hands all over him? She was perched on his bum with a leg on either side of his, probably making a complete mess of his trousers. He didn't mind. It was a strange feeling though. He felt as if something had come loose in his chest… People didn't just touch him without getting something out of it themselves. She was entirely too naive and sweet.

Her mind was working a mile a minute above him. He didn't have to look into her eyes to read her then, the thoughts were practically flowing out of her ears. Apparently an orgasm was only a short fix for her, and then she was right back to over thinking and ruminating over every little thing. He smirked against his pillow. She certainly wouldn't be the same person without those racing thoughts.

He knew what she was worrying about too. As soon as the thought had popped into her head her shame had been palpable. And oh, it had stirred something deep within him. He'd nearly called off his whole edging plan and went straight to fucking her needy little cunt. Never had the blush on her face been quite so intoxicating. He'd wanted to tell her that it was okay, that he'd so wished her needs would line up so perfectly with his. That there was nothing wrong with her. But, he'd give her some time to process on her own first. It wasn't an easy thing to be confronted with the truth of your deepest most repressed desires. And oftentimes people ended up pushing them down even further, never allowing themselves to revisit the subject again, even in their own minds. It wouldn't do to rush her.

"Severus?" Her quiet voice interrupted his thoughts.

Her kneading hands were slowly making their way down to the middle of his back. Was she going to bring it up? Surely not…

"Where did you get that?... The bench thing, I mean."

He grinned into the pillow.

"I had it made. I know a guy."

"Oh." She sounded surprised, "for me?"

Before he could answer she cut back in.

"Or, I mean, if it wasn't - that's fine. Um, never mind."

He was tickled by her flustered tone. Was she jealous? He found he was rather fond of the idea.

"I did have it made for you, actually. And you looked fucking perfect up there."

Her hands paused over his back for a moment and he could practically hear the bashful smile on her face. He groaned again when her thumbs dug into a sensitive spot on his lower back with renewed vigor.

"Fuck, that's a tight spot."

"Should I stop?" She asked worriedly, hands flattening over his skin.

"No. Gods, no."

No one had ever massaged him before and bloody hell, he'd been missing out. He hadn't even realized just how stiff his muscles had been until she'd started digging her fingers in, working at the knots on either side of his spine. It was somewhat painful, but in a satisfying way, like nudging at a sore tooth with your tongue.

"You know…" She started after several long minutes, "I thought you were going to… Well, I thought…"

"You thought what?" He mumbled against plush cotton, then turned his head to the side to speak more clearly, "spit it out, love."

Her hands quit massaging and she laid down over his back, pressing her cheek to the center of his shoulder blades.

"I thought you'd, well, bugger me…" She whispered.

"Looking forward to it, are you?" He teased and she shuffled restlessly against him. He could feel the damp heat of her quim against his back.

"Yes, sir." She admitted quietly, kissing the curve of his shoulder.

Oh, how quickly she reverted back to sir. The girl was bloody relentless. He started to sit up and she scrambled up off of his back in response, settling down next to him on the bed. Quick as he could sit up he had her pinned down beneath him on the mattress, hands on either side of her head.

"Good. Because I've been thinking about taking your sweet little arse for weeks…"

Her deepening blush at his words was beautiful. It made the freckles stand out over the bridge of her nose and he suddenly wondered what she'd look like in the sunlight, laid out bare in the green grass beneath him, her hair a tangled halo of gold and brown frizz about her face.

"Don't worry, Princess. I can't wait… But you were far too tense today to attempt it. We'll have to get you very, very relaxed first…"

Her warm brown eyes flashed, pupils expanding, and her lips parted slightly, her soft pink tongue slipping out to wet her lips. It was incredibly easy to get her worked up. And he found it endlessly amusing.

He swept the errant curls off of her left shoulder and sunk his face down into the fragrant skin of her neck, nibbling and sucking at the space behind her ear that made her hum in pleasure. Both of her hands wrapped around his head, pulling him in closer. She smelled like citrus and sunshine, and tasted like heaven. She was the absolute contradiction to anything else he'd ever been able to call his own.

He worked his way down her neck and over her collar bone until he reached her chest. He nuzzled at the space between her breasts and she sighed, fingers running through his lank hair over and over. Even with the tip of his nose he could feel the texture difference where the silkiness of her unmarred skin turned to the bumpy, jagged flesh of her curse scar. She hadn't put her glamour back in place while in his presence ever since she'd first revealed it to him, and something about it made him feel oddly proud. He moved on to her breast, leaning over and taking one little pink tip into his mouth and suckling deep.

He swirled his tongue around her tight, engorged peak, drawing a shuddered moan from her lips. She wiggled restlessly beneath him, fingers curling tightly into his hair. He switched back and forth between each breast, teasing and licking and nibbling until her nipples stood out like plump little cherries. She arched up into his touch, her chest heaving with uneven breaths.

Severus didn't think he'd ever tire of exploring the peaks and valleys of her delicate body. He wanted to taste every inch of her.

He slid one hand down her body, past the soft curve of her belly, past the small thicket of curls at her apex, and curled one finger to slither down between her nether lips, finding a veritable pool of liquid at her entrance. He released her nipple and looked up at her flushed face.

"Always so wet and ready for me, aren't you?"

She bit her lip, nodding down at him. He pinched her nipple with an expectant look and she squeaked, breathing out a quick "Yes, sir!"

He slowly ventured south, settling his face down between her legs.

"Severus, wait!" Hermione exclaimed, trying to wiggle backwards, away from him. He gave her an exasperated glare.

"Wait for what?"

"I haven't washed since you… you know." She muttered bashfully.

It was absolutely ridiculous. One moment she could beg for him to finger her arse, and in the next act like a shrinking violet about something as silly as their bodily fluids. Fluids that he himself had put there.

"Since I did what? You're going to have to be a little more specific." He knew exactly what she meant, of course. But he did enjoy making her squirm. She huffed.

"Since you ejaculated inside of me. Happy now?"

He raised a brow. It seemed she was already forgetting herself. And the punishment she'd gotten less than an hour ago.

"I'm perfectly aware of the state of your person, Hermione. And I'm also aware of the fact that you seem to have forgotten your manners already. Are you hoping for another marathon with the vibrator? Or perhaps you'd like to become acquainted with my cane?"

She blanched, shaking her head with fervor.

"No, sir. I'm sorry!"

He gave her a long warning look before turning his gaze back to her center.

"That's what I thought. Now be quiet and let me lick your cunt." Before he could lower his lips to her she interrupted him, again.

"Could you at least let me use the bathroom first?" She was biting her lip, looking down at him with apprehension.

Merlin help me.

"No, you may not. Nice try, though."

"I really do have to go, sir!"

He smirked at her panicked look. "I'm sure that you do. You're going to have to wait. Besides, I find I rather enjoy the way it makes you squirm."

He gripped her legs just behind her knees, spreading them wide and pushing them up towards her chest, lewdly displaying her glistening slit. Her jeweled plug winked up at him from between her cheeks. She looked utterly divine; a bona fide buffet. He leaned in close and had a taste, a long slow lick in that heavenly space where thigh met labia. He wasn't sure what she was on about - sure, her musk was stronger, but he still found her absolutely delectable. In fact, he tended to prefer a little spice. He continued on, licking and teasing all around her center, purposefully avoiding her throbbing little nub. He'd get there, in time.

Hermione wriggled restlessly, bucking her hips up towards his face, trying to guide him where she wanted him. But, she'd have to wait. He was in a leisurely mood. He really wanted to savor her. So often throughout the work week he thought of this… Of her splayed out on his bed, offering herself to him, begging him to taste her, to take her. She was so bloody sweet. He was going to have his fill, whether she appreciated his pace or not. That was his goal, after all. To push her limits and show her just how exquisite the pleasures of the body - and the mind - could be. If only one took their time and put in the effort to do it right. But, fuck if she didnt make it difficult sometimes. She was getting entirely too good at begging. She was figuring out the key to his libido. The blueprint to breaking down his restraint.

"Uhhh, Gods, Severus, please! Please lick my clit. I can't stand it anymore. I need you!" She whined, digging her fingers into his hair and urging him closer.

He just hummed his denial, burying his tongue in her snatch as deeply as it could reach. He could taste his own essence within her, tangy and bitter.

It was thrilling. He would fill her up with his seed every single day if he could. Ridiculous as it seemed, even to himself, he wanted to mark her. Claim her as his.

Hermione groaned, thrusting up into his face. He threw an arm across her hip bones to keep her in place. He wasn't quite ready to give into her demands. Not yet. With his other hand he reached down and jiggled her shiny plug, relishing the little whimper it pulled from her lips. He pulled his mouth away from her for a brief moment to speak, tapping at the jewel with the tip of one finger.

"I'm going to take this out for now, love, bare down for me."

Her face positively flamed at that command, but she acquiesced - though her eyes were squeezed shut, they'd have to work on that - assisting him to remove the plug with ease. Her sweet little bum winked shut. He set the plug aside.

"Good girl. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

She sighed, peeking one eye open to look down at him. "I suppose not, sir."

"I'm going to use that cleansing spell on you, are you ready?"

She nodded. Severus cast the spell with ease, just a flick of his hand. Hermione arched up on the mattress with a quiet gasp as it coursed through her insides like an icy finger. He hadn't used the spell on himself in quite a long time, but he did remember being fairly shocked the first few times he'd experienced it. Though, based on the look on her face she seemed to fancy it.

He dove right back in, tongue finally flicking over her tortured clit and relishing in the restless whimpers it drew from her body. It didn't take long to work her up to a frenzy, her nerves were clearly still raw from the lengthy edging he'd put her through. Her trembling thighs clamped down, squeezing his head tightly and almost completely deafening him. She was gyrating frantically against him, practically riding his face. He kept his tongue firm and let her do all the work, struggling to breathe as she rolled her turgid little nub over his tongue and nose over and over. His cock was twitching back to life in his trousers. It never did take long in her presence.

Just as her wails took on a higher pitch and his vision began to sparkle with a lack of oxygen he wrenched her thighs free of his face and pulled his face back, taking a moment to catch his breath.

"Oh fuck, please!" She whined, looking utterly wild on the bed before him. She was flushed and breathless, hair fanned out over the bedspread like creeping, curling vines.

"Turn over," he rasped, "up on your knees."

She hurried to comply, turning over on the mattress and sticking her cute little bum up into the air. He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her closer, laving a wet kiss over the curve of one smooth cheek. Her body quivered with her breathless giggle.

"Your arse is entirely too pale, Miss Granger." He kissed her other cheek, "We'll have to remedy that this week…"

"Yes!"

She wiggled her bum in his face in a cheeky dance, just begging to be spanked. But, that would have to wait. For now, he had other plans. He trailed several more kisses over the soft skin of her arse, zeroing in on her pulsating center. Her little sigh of disappointment when he once again headed away from her desire quickly morphed into a sharp intake of surprise with the first pass of his tongue over the crease of her bum. He zeroed in on her center, smirking at the mortified tumble of incoherent thoughts that practically shrieked from her brain in a frantic staccato as he buried his tongue in her clenching hole.

"Oh, Gods Severus, you're… hmmph!" Her babbled pleading faded into muffled moans, muted by the mattress she'd face planted into.

Her legs quivered as he fucked her with his tongue, and he groaned as she clenched down on him over and over. She was squeezing him so tight he thought his tongue might snap right off. He could only imagine what she would do to his cock.

Bloody hell.

He slipped one hand beneath her and strummed over her clit determinedly. She'd had enough teasing for one night. Not to mention, while he did love burying his face in a witch's bum as much as the next bloke, the lack of properly sized breaths was beginning to make his head feel fuzzy.

Come on love, you're so close, just let go.

Her flesh felt swollen and swelteringly hot beneath his fingers. Perhaps he'd done her a disservice by over-stimulating her so much. Based on the stream of barely coherent words leaking from her mind she was frustratingly close to the edge, but couldn't quite tip over. It was times like this he wished he had a third arm.

He pulled his mouth away from her, sucking in a panting breath, and rested his face against her soft cheek. He slowed his fingers to a light thrumming over her clit.

"You've been such a good girl," his voice was gravely in his throat. He cleared it, "You want to come for me, don't you?"

"Mmmmhmm." She hummed into the sheets, back heaving as she struggled to breath against the cotton.

He fought the urge to roll his eyes. "Get your face out of that mattress before you lose consciousness, witch."

She turned her head to the side, "Yes, sir. Sorry."

Severus slid his fingers down from her clit to her pussy and slipped them briefly inside, coating them in her juices and brought them up to her bum, circling her sensitive whorl.

"You have no idea how badly I want to fill up this tight little arse of yours."

"Please, sir… Gods."

He gently pushed one sodden finger into her, mesmerized at the sight of her tiny hole swallowing up his finger. Fuck. He was suddenly very aware of his cock and how hard it was straining against his zipper. He gave himself a quick squeeze, rearranging slightly to take some of the pressure off. Shut up, this isn't about you, he told himself, not yet, anyway.

He shook his head to bring himself back to the present. Where was I, again? Oh yes..

"You want that, don't you, Princess?"

She was whimpering and twitching beneath him as he slowly slid his finger in and out, relishing in the slight resistance of the ring of muscle just inside.

"Say it," he urged, "tell me you want it. Tell me you want me to fill up your bum."

"Yes. Yes! I need you to fill up my bum.." Her voice had trailed off to a breathy whisper. He was sure if he could see her face it would be bright red.

"Good girl." He soothed.

Keeping up a steady pace with his pumping finger, he slipped his free hand beneath her and worried at her clit, gently this time, just brushing his finger in slow circles over her fervid flesh. And yes, there she was. Her breathy whimpers had swiftly morphed into a keening wail.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, please!"

Several frantic moments passed and then her libidinous movements suddenly ceased, her muscles going rigid as stone and then the tension snapped, and she collapsed further onto the bed as she sobbed out her release. She pulsed around his finger, over and over as her pelvic muscles spasmed and he wished it was his cock she was clamping down on instead.

He continued his ministrations, gradually slowing until she went boneless underneath him, sinking down flat onto the bed, gasping at him to stop.

Gently freeing his hands, he laid down on his side next to her and brushed aside the mops of curls concealing her face. She looked flushed and drowsy, lips slowly turning up into a small grin.

"Merlin," she breathed, "I really do need the loo now, Severus."

He snorted. "Go ahead."

As she peeled herself up off of the mattress he turned onto his back and palmed himself through his trousers, watching the delightful jiggle of her bum as she walked away.

She paused and turned around, eyeing the movement of his hand with a pout.

"I'll be right back. Please don't start without me."

He smirked. "I wouldn't dream of it."

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Severus nearly jumped out of his skin, startling awake at the sound of whimpering. He blinked rapidly into the darkness, disoriented by the total lack of light in the room, and the distressed sounds coming from the girl next to him. With quick fingers he felt around under his pillow until he secured the solid length of his wand, pulling it out and lighting the tip before directing it towards his companion.

Hermione was clearly still asleep, but her face was scrunched up in anguish and her shoulders shook with soft little sobs. He reached out and gently brushed her damp curls back from her forehead. There was a thin sheen of sweat along her hairline.

"Hermione?" He said quietly, palm sliding down her face to cup her cheek.

She flinched at his touch, throwing her head to the side and curling in on herself.

"No!... Sorry.. I'm sorry…" She muttered, silent tears trailing down her face. "Please!... Don't go.."

He pressed a soft kiss to her damp forehead and spoke her name louder and more insistently.

"Hermione. It's Severus. You're safe. Wake up."

Her brow furrowed but her eyes remained closed, moving rapidly back and forth beneath tightly scrunched eyelids.

He grasped her shoulder and nudged her, soft but persistent.

"Hermione… I've got you. Wake up, love."

Finally, her eyes fluttered open with a quiet gasp.

"Sev'rus?" She rasped in confusion. Then her face crumpled and she fell forward into his chest, squeezing him tight and crying earnestly against his shoulder.

He rubbed slow circles over her back, unsure how to properly comfort her. Merlin knows he'd had his fair share of nightmares over the years, but his own methods of occluding and shoving things down deep into some inaccessible place in his mind most likely weren't the healthiest way to manage them. Suddenly he felt quite awkward. Obviously he'd dealt with her tears before, but this was a different sort of situation.

"Do you," he cleared his throat, "do you want to… talk about it?"

Her reply could only be described as half laugh, half sob. She sniffled against his chest.

"Gosh, I'm sorry… I haven't had a nightmare in a while." She pulled away slightly to look up at him with red rimmed eyes, "I didn't mean to wake you. I'm fine. You can go back to sleep."

Severus sighed and gave her a long-suffering look. "If there's anything I've learned about women over the years, the very fact that you've stated you're fine means just the opposite."

Her lips twitched up in a sheepish smirk.

"Was it about the war?" He added quietly.

"No," she spoke to his clavicle, "well, sort of. It was my parents… It's, well, it's complicated."

"I've no other pressing matters to attend to at the moment, Miss Granger."

Her soft laugh tickled the skin of his neck.

"I'm not even sure why I've suddenly had the dream again. It must be the Hols… Easter has always been Mum's favorite. I could never get away with staying at school or going to the Weasley's then. I don't think I'd have wanted to anyway, it was the only occasion she ever attempted to bake something. Mum's Easter Trifle. It was always a horrid, sloppy mess but I miss it now. I don't think things will ever go back to normal…. Not after what I did to them."

What she did to them?

She brought one hand up and wiped at her face with a groan.

"I'm sorry, I'm rambling. I… tend to do that when I'm upset," she glanced up at him again, "really, it's fine, let's go back to sleep."

He took a deep, steadying breath.

"Hermione. If there's anything that irritates me about you, it's your incessant refusal to allow yourself to take up space. Physically or mentally. You are not a burden, and neither are your emotions… I won't force you to talk about anything, if you don't wish to. But it seems like you do. So, perhaps you should start at the beginning. What is it that you've done to your parents?"

He was admittedly very curious. What could she have possibly done to strain her relationship with her parents so much? From the small offhand comments she had made about them in his presence it seemed like they were loving people, and she'd had a good childhood. Well, a good childhood until Albus Dumbledore and Tom Riddle came into the picture, that is.

Hermione nodded, still looking down at his chest. "It was after sixth year. After… You know… and I realized that things had really taken a turn for the worst. Without Dumbledore…"

His stomach clenched.

If there was any singular day in his life he'd like to never think about again, that would be the one. He preferred to keep the memory occluded, buried deep within the furthest corners of his mind. Only on his darkest days of self flagellation did he let it resurface.

Hermione seemed to sense his discomfort and paused, reaching up a hand to stroke his cheek.

"I'm sorry, Severus. I shouldn't have brought that up…"

Her eyes were large and soft.

"You know I don't… I don't fault you for that. In fact, I've been pretty angry at Dumbledore for it, ever since the truth came out.. I…"

He put up a hand to stop her. The thought of talking about that with anyone made him want to bolt.

In fact, when it came to Hermione, his past made him feel even more… hideous. He didn't deserve her - a champion of the light - when he was… he was a murderer and - no. No, it wasn't the time to have a moral crisis. He pushed those thoughts down deep beneath his shields. Thank Merlin for occlusion, or he might never sleep at night.

"It's no matter. Let's get back to the point, your parents?"

"Right…" She said quietly. Her eyes flickered, searching his face. With a heavy sigh she continued.

"I knew then that we'd have to go on the run. That nothing was safe anymore. I couldn't take the risk of the Death Eaters finding my parents and using them against me… hurting them. And I knew they'd never listen to me about fleeing the country. They never would have left me behind. Not to mention, they didn't even know how bad the war really was. And how enmeshed I'd become. So… I did the only thing I thought could fully protect them."

She took a deep shuddering breath.

"I erased their memories of me. Completely. Everything. And I gave them new identities. And a strong desire to suddenly pack up and move to Australia. Surely if they were on the other side of the world living as different people with no memory of me they'd be safe. And it worked.

The problem is, when I went to Australia after the war to try and restore their memories it worked, but It's.. It's strange. They do remember me. All of the memories came back, actually, as far as I can tell. But they're just… different. Off. They know who I am and they remember my childhood. They know I'm their daughter. But everything is so awkward and strained. They decided to stay in Australia. And they don't call, don't encourage me to visit… We only talk if I initiate it.

And when we do talk it's as if my mum is forcing herself into small talk with me. And always has some excuse to get off the phone quickly… I think…" Her voice had faded to a pained whisper, "I think they're terrified of me. I think they… hate me. And why shouldn't they? I would too, if I were them."

Severus listened with growing horror. She had sacrificed so much for the cause - even more than he'd known, evidently. He couldn't believe he had never glimpsed anything about it in her mind. Clearly she didn't like thinking about it.

Hot shame curled in his gut when he realized no one in the Order - including himself - had thought to consider the safety of her family. Sure, they'd had a million other things to consider at the time but that didn't excuse it. It was yet another example of how they'd failed the youngest members of the resistance.

She shouldn't have had to go through that by herself.

It was no wonder she was struggling. It was one thing to grow up in an abusive home with parents who had never cared. But to have had caring parents your whole life who suddenly wanted nothing to do with you - and you believed it to be your own fault…

It added a whole other dynamic to her obvious need of an authority figure. An authority figure who would take care of her.

Severus flicked his lit wand tip at the sconce above the bed, transferring the flame, and then set his wand down, grasping her chin and gently tilting her face up towards his.

"You did the right thing, Hermione. I can tell you with certainty that finding your parents - and other family of order members - was discussed. I was not involved in many of those types of plans during that last year due to my placement at the school… but I would not doubt the Dark Lord sent snatchers to your family home. If you hadn't sent them away, well… there's a very good chance you saved their lives."

Silent tears streamed down her face.

"I'm sure they don't hate you. Perhaps they just need some time… Memory charms are complicated. In fact, I'm quite impressed you pulled off the initial charm with their sanity intact. Not to mention the reversal…"

She gave him a watery smile. "Thanks… I appreciate it. But you don't have to try and make me feel better… I.. I regret trying to restore the memories now. But, there's nothing for it. I just have to learn to live with it."

"You did everything you could… Sometimes fate is beyond our control." He replied softly.

She just shrugged and buried her face back against the hollow of his throat.

He rubbed small circles into her back, relishing in the stillness of the moment. Insomnia issues aside, he'd always found solace in the wee hours. In the way the passage of time seemed to slow, and nothing interrupted his thoughts but the beating of his own heart, and the flickering of the candlelight against the walls. Never before had he found this space with another person present…But, here he was, the only other distraction was the tickle of her wild hair under his chin. And he didn't even mind.

His mind wandered back to her predicament. It was strange that they'd reacted the way they had. He'd always thought that parents - well, decent parents, and it seemed like hers were, based on her actions - could love their children through the worst of sins. Perhaps something had gone wrong with the memory recovery. Or she was right, and they were just muggles terrified of magic. They certainly wouldn't be the first. Maybe a future visit of the Grangers was in order…

But, that, along with his underlying worry about what the Ministry was planning against him, would have to be tabled for the moment. He wanted to enjoy his alone time with her, while it lasted.

"Severus?" Her quiet voice broke the silence.

"Yes?"

"Remember when you said I could molest your library?"