"I can't get her to come out." Caroline stood outside Cassidy's room later that evening. "She won't even talk to me."

I hugged Caroline to me and looked up at Miranda who stood with both hands and her forehead pressed against Cassidy's door. She was trembling and when she turned her head to look at me, I could tell she was as close to panic as Caroline was.

"What did you girls talk about before she locked herself inside? And where did she get the key from?" Miranda's voice caught on the word 'key'.

"We were going to do our homework, and Cassidy started to talk about Dad and curse, and she was really mad. I tried telling her that he was still Dad. That he did something wrong, but not everything about him is wrong." Caroline hiccuped and pressed her face into my chest. "That's when she said I had to get out. And that Dad was a horrible person and she would never ever want to talk to him, or about him, in her life. Sh-she said I was stupid for not getting that."

"Oh, sweetie," I said and closed my eyes hard to keep my burning eyes from tearing up. "She's hurt, and so are you, by your father's actions. You are right. A person is more than their worst decisions. But Cassidy has a right to be angry too."

"She also has to come out!" Miranda drew deep breaths. "I have to find another key. I wasn't aware that the door keys were kept within reach of you girls. I put those away as soon as you got rooms of your own."

"We looked for them two years ago," Carline said quietly. "Stephen was always drunk and sometimes when you were not home, he would just stand in our doorway and say horrible things. Cassidy said that it was okay to lock our doors then."

Miranda paled so much, I had to let go of Caroline to wrap my arms around her. "Hey, don't go down on me."

"He…Caroline, you never told me." She tugged Caroline in between me and her. "I'm so sorry, Bobbsey."

"It wasn't your fault. We hated him, but we thought he made you happy…well at first. And there were good times too, in the beginning." Caroline, always the fair and sweet-natured girl, tried to see things both ways.

Miranda kissed the top of her curly head and then turned to the locked door again. "Cassidy, sweetheart, talk to me at least. You don't have to open just yet, but tell me you're all right." Perhaps it was the tears in her voice that made it impossible for Cassidy to remain stoic.

"I'm okay. Just leave me alone for a bit." Cassidy's voice was stark, and it wasn't hard to hear the underlying pain.

"I find that very difficult because I love you and I know you're upset." Miranda let go of Caroline and sank down onto the floor, sitting with her back against the door. "I just want to hold you."

"You won't for much longer," Cassidy answered and then she must have thrown something as there was a loud thud against one of her walls. "You'll hate me."

"What? What makes you think that?" Miranda stared up at me. I raised my shoulders and shook my head. I had no idea what Cassidy was talking about. "I could never hate you, Bobbsey. Never."

"You say that now," Caroline said with obvious anguish. She sounded closer as if she too was sitting with her back against the door.

"And I'll keep on saying it." Miranda looked up at the ceiling. "Forever."

"No. You won't." Cassidy spoke as if she knew something we didn't.

I sat down and pulled Caroline with me. "Cass? You and Caro are the most important people in our lives. If we didn't have you girls, we would suffer for it. I know I'm not your birthparent, but I started out liking you girls a lot, and then it wasn't long before I truly loved you."

"It'll change. Once you think about it all, you're going to change your mind. You'll leave because of that, because of me, and Mom will hate me even more for that." Cassidy wept now, and I was really starting to worry. There was something we didn't know.

"Caro," I said and shook the twin in my arms gently. "Why do you think your sister talks about herself like this? It's okay if you break a promise to keep it a secret, because Cassidy needs her mother and you, and me too, right now."

Caroline was quiet for a moment, studying me and then her mother closely. "She's going to be mad." She pressed even harder against me.

"She will forgive you. I'll make her see you were only thinking of her." I took her chin in a gentle grip. "Please, sweetie."

Caroline wiped at the steady stream of tears. "She knows everyone thinks she is just like Dad in a lot of ways. People have always told her that, and some mean it nicely, and others say it as a mean thing. She used to be proud to be like Dad, but that was before we understood that he was about to cause trouble. She tried to be more like you, Mom, but nobody has told her she's like you, so she thinks she's failed at that." Caroline drew a deep trembling breath. "And now that Dad is in jail after hurting Andy and lying about everything to all kinds of people, she says that everyone will think she's just like that. And since you and Andy hate Dad for what he did—you will hate her too."

"Sweet Jesus," I said and barely dared look over at Miranda. And yes, there it was, the dragon, unleashed and ready to go. "Miranda. Go find a key to her door. Now." I put all the steel in my voice that I could manage, and to my astonishment, she got up and hurried downstairs.

"Cassidy. Listen to me. What you Dad did was so wrong, and illegal. He will end up being punished for it. I don't know him well enough to understand why he did what he did, but I think if we peel away all his mistakes and times he screwed up, we'll find that he still loves his daughters."

"It's not enough. It's in his personality. This is who he is. Doesn't matter why. It only matters what we do. Our homeroom teacher says so all the time. And Dad…he just kept doing bad things, wrong things." Cassidy's voice was hard, and so pained, I had to bite into my lip, even if I knew Miranda disliked my habit.

"Just because he did what he did, it doesn't reflect on you or Caroline. DNA isn't everything. I bet you've learned that too. You have 50% of your mom's DNA, and you've mostly been raised by her. She has more impact on you than anyone. And if you allow me, I would love to get the chance to be a really good friend and parental figure to you too. If that's something you can get on board with?"

"I can," Caroline whispered and pressed her wet little face against me. "I want to be just like you and Mom." She shifted and looked up at me. "I know Cassidy does too. She just thinks she can't. Some boys at school call her a Boss Bitch sometimes. She says it's because she is like mom, but she says being like Dad ruins everything."

I tried to think what to say to the distraught girl behind the door. I didn't want to emphasize any drama, but I also was certain Cassidy wasn't a drama queen. She was truly struggling.

Miranda came running up the stairs and tried to fit the key into the lock, but I held up a hand and shook my head. "Tell her first. Tell her how worried we are."

She glared at me, but I knew it was her anguish showing. She knelt again and placed a hand against the door. "Cassidy, sweetheart, I have another key here. I will unlock the door soon because I'm so terribly worried about you. I just want to talk. You're not in trouble and neither is Caroline. Let us open the door, or better yet, unlock it from inside."

There was a long silence, and I looked at Miranda, willing her to be patient.

"I hate him." Cassidy thudded something against the door and I feared it was her head. "I hate being just like him."

"If you are anything like your father, you are the absolute best part of him," Miranda said, and I was so proud of her for finding just the right thing to say. "When you and Caroline were born, he was immensely proud of you. He showed you off to anyone interested and bragged about every little progress you made. I'm not sure when your father changed, or why—perhaps I had something to do with it or the life I was carving out for myself…I don't know. What I do know, is that you are a very young girl with your entire life ahead of you, and what you choose to do with it, is just that—your choice. Whether you take after your father, or me…who knows, perhaps you will end up being a lot more like Andrea, all mixed in with what is uniquely you. It truly is a choice, Bobbsey."

Another prolonged silence, and this time it was Caroline who broke down. She tore herself free from me and knocked on the door with both hands. "I'm sorry Cass. I shouldn't have made excuses for Dad. I really shouldn't. I'm so sorry. Please come out. Don't lock me out. I can't stand it. I'll say whatever you want if you just come out. Please, Cass, please…"

I cried too now, for the pain on Caroline's face, and for how Miranda clung to her little girl. And deep inside, I hated James Powell for what he'd done to his daughters. My pain and trauma fell back into oblivion at the sight of one twin begging her sister who had locked herself away, to let her in.

A soft click made us all hold our breath and then the door opened a narrow crack. When Caroline pushed at it, we found Cassidy sitting on the floor just inside, but we could see her.

"May we come in?" Miranda asked, her voice barely audible.

"Sure." Cassidy's tear-stained cheeks were the only traces of her pain.

We all crawled in on hands and knees and Caroline sat down as close to Cassily as it was possible without actually touching her. "Thank you," she whispered. "Have you forgiven me?"

"Nothing to forgive. I can't tell you how to feel about Dad. The same goes for you." Cassidy shrugged but then placed her head on her sister's shoulder. "I was just so mad." She glanced at me. "And, yeah, scared. And I don't get scared!"

"We all get scared," I said softly. "You are just better than most at hiding it, sweetie. Which is okay, if that's how you deal with things. I'm not good at hiding it, but I have learned to try and face my fears. If I hadn't, I might not have dared to allow myself to love your mother."

"You mean she's scary?" Caroline asked, her eyes huge.

"No, not scary. Intimidating, before you get to know her. Demanding at work, but that's because she wants Runway to be as close to perfect as possible. No, for me it was that I had to get over not feeling worthy. I think the world of your mom, and I was insecure and certain she wouldn't feel the same way. I was wrong about that the whole time."

"Mom." Cassidy turned to her mother. "Oh, Mom." She threw her arms around Miranda's neck and hugged her tight. Miranda pulled her daughter close and rocked her, much like she must've done when she was a baby.

"Shh. Shh." Miranda pressed her lips to Cassidy's flustered cheek. "You'll be all right. You don't have to lock yourself away. There is nothing wrong with you. We all love you just like the smart and brave girl you are. And even smart and brave girls are allowed to be scared, sad, or angry. It's all right." Miranda looked at me over Cassidy's head. I held onto Caroline, as she was sobbing, and I figured it was from sheer relief that she was not locked out from her sister's room. I smiled wanly and leaned my cheek against the top of Caroline's head.

"It's really weird but in a good way," Cassidy said and peered at me. "You haven't lived with us for more than a few weeks, but…we feel like a real family. I mean, we're all on the floor hugging and crying, and whatever."

"Happens in a lot of families," I said. "And I agree. You've made me feel so welcome. I feel at home here."

"So you really are here to stay?" Caroline turned her face up to me.

My heart did a virtual somersault. "Yes. I am."

I saw Miranda's careful smile increase in wattage, and she looked so relieved and happy, my breath caught in my throat.

"Mom. You love Andy, right?" Cassidy looked pensive.

"I do. Very much."

"Is it a lot different than what you used to feel for Dad or Stephen?" Fiddling with the cuff of Miranda's blouse, Cassidy appeared to hold her breath.

"It is. I love Andrea in a way I've never loved anyone else before. I did love your father once and I will always be grateful that I did because it brought me you and your sister. I never loved Stephen the way I hoped I would." Miranda looked at me while she was talking, even if she was answering Cassidy's question. "When I understood that I had fallen in love with Andrea, like her, I was certain nothing could ever come of it. I thought I was too old. So you see, we all fear things, and we tell ourselves things because of that fear. You girls are the best of you your father and I combined."

"I'm glad you're with Andy and nobody else. Andy gets us." Caroline smiled now. "And it's good that she's young. That means she can have a baby if she wants to."

I swore Miranda's eyes were about to pop out of her skull, and I definitely stopped breathing. Then I coughed. And coughed again…and wheezed. "Wh-what? A baby?"

"Dear God." Miranda closed her eyes.

Then I heard something that made the shock Caro's words instilled, worth it. Both girls broke into a fit of laughter. They giggled until they howled.

"Their…faces…" Cassidy managed between the paroxysms. "Did you see?"

"Yeah…oh boy…" Caroline snorted and that made them start another bout of insane laughter.

"This proves you are truly a part of this family, Andrea," Miranda said, shaking her head. Her eyes shone brightly.

"How do you mean?" I looked back and forth between the girls who were now rolling on the floor.

"Look at them." Miranda smirked. "They already take after you."

###

Later in the evening, Miranda and I crawled into bed, exhausted after a day that had been so challenging and upsetting but ended on a fairly good note. I had meant to read a few pages from that novel I had started on in Chicago, but I realized it was a fruitless endeavor. I was too tired and my thoughts too scattered. I found it I tried to focus, all my thoughts scattered as rings on the water when you toss in a pebble.

Miranda remained still on her back, staring at the ceiling. "I can't believe I haven't even asked you," she said. "It just didn't occur to me, and it should have."

"What?" I rolled over on my side and studied her profile.

"That you might want to become a mother one day. It's normally something you discuss with a partner." Miranda rolled toward me and now I saw the look of concern on her face.

"I haven't given it much thought. I'm twenty-six. I have yet to find my true calling, even if I always thought journalism was it…now I'm not as certain. And if I'm not certain about that, I'm not sure about having a child either. I'm now a bonus parent to your girls, our girls, and that's not something I take lightly."

"I know that. And yet—wanting a child is very basic, very instinctual. It can come to you from one day to the next."

"It hasn't come yet. If it does, is that a deal breaker for you?" I hadn't thought of it that way until now. A lump of ice lodged in my chest. Was that what she was trying to tell me?

"Nothing with you is a dealbreaker." Miranda reached around my waist and tugged me closer. "Nothing at all. If one day you want to grow a little human, I will be there and I will love every second of it."

I honestly didn't think I could be any happier than I was at that moment. Not because I suddenly saw myself pregnant and wanting tons of kids, but because Miranda loved me enough to still choose us.

"And if I never want to get pregnant?" I looked into her steadfast gaze.

"Then it'll still be you, me, and the girls. Either way is fine." Miranda kissed me. "I love you."

I pressed my lips harder against hers and then deepened the kiss. Once I let go enough to talk, I said, "And I love you."

We slowly started to dozse off, when a thought hit me, and I flinched hard enough to startle Miranda.

"Andrea?"

"Sorry. It just dawned on me. My mom never did get back in touch. And once everything calmed down tonight, I forgot to return her call. God. I know she must've seen the news. I don't know if my name's everywhere yet-but she might have seen it."

The tabloids and also less despicable publications were reporting about James Powell being arrested. It didn't take a genius before the press found the documents that gave my name as the victim of his assault. Then Miranda's name would be added to the mix, and all hell would break loose. It was just a matter of time.

"You have to call your parents tomorrow," Miranda said. "We're working from home, which means you can call them any time you want with complete privacy."

"Want and want," I muttered. "Yeah, yeah. I know I have to. Gah!" I clasped a hand over my eyes. "I may need moral support."

"You will have it."

"Thanks." I curled up next to Miranda and closed my eyes. The last thing I saw for my inner eye, what I needed to see, was the image of the girls laughing so hard they couldn't get off the floor earlier in the evening. That was how I chose to end the day.

Tomorrow would be hard enough.

Continued in part 30.