It was for the best that she got her period, they needed to have a break. She had to evaluate the attachment she felt for Bigby without oxytocin getting in the way.

Or, alternatively… she could keep running from the question like she was doing so far. Was it an important question anyway? What did it change, they were having a good time. Maybe they could just keep going. Don't dwell on it too much. Was he even pondering over the same thing? Did he grow fond of her because of the sex?

And if she in fact had some feelings for him, could she be able to hide it and keep seeing him? Because what other option was there? Breaking it off or talking to him about it, and she didn't wanna do any of those. Just the thought of asking him if he felt it too made her shudder in fear - after all, he found a way to make her afraid.

It was all of the hugging. Why were they hugging so much? Who started it? She liked it too much for her own good, but she didn't want to stop. This closeness made her feel better in her own skin. Even now sitting at the desk she felt more sexy than she ever did before she started seeing him. Until this month she didn't ever see herself in this light. She imagined herself to be attractive, but in an unapproachable way, cold. Maybe that's what he was into.

And it made the situation so much worse that right after she started to feel like this bond was something more than sexual chemistry she also had to worry about public perception of her sex life. Their relationship was her haven and now it was to be tarnished by hearsay. She gave her life to public service, but the moment she found something that brought her any happiness, it couldn't be. She wasn't allowed to have one thing for herself.

Maybe if people weren't to judge her.. maybe it would be fine for them to know… maybe. But it won't go this way, it never does. She wasn't used to people taking her side.

"Where should I put those case files?" asked Boy Blue from his desk. Has he heard the rumors too? The old ones? Was he judging her? Did he care?

"Just give it to Bufkin."

What were the chances of running into him in the common kitchen? Probably low, most days he was working outside. What was that about taking a break? She was so weak, she already wanted to see him again. Snow imagined walking in and seeing him getting black coffee like in her apartment in the morning. That made her feel… something. Fuck, she was dissappointed he wasn't there.

When she was alone in the elevator her mind was going in the same direction. She wished he was there. They could get stuck for a convenient fifteen minutes and kiss unseen by the outside world. He would embrace her waist and for a moment she wouldn't care about anything but his arms around her.

Those thoughts weren't letting her think straight about the situation. She wasn't able to reflect on whatever was going on between them, because whenever she started to think about him, she just wanted to cuddle up and make out. And do other things as well, but she preferred for her mind not to go there during work hours.

"Hello Briar, are you free tonight by any chance?" she called from her desk, when Blue was out of the business office. Great that he gave her the occasion, she didn't have much time before they were opening for suppliants.

"Well, yes. Did something happen?"

"No… kind of. I'd love to talk."

"You can visit."

She wouldn't say it out loud, but she hated each time when Beauty and Beast showed up in the office to ask for help. Polite woman and her annoying-ass faithful husband. Still, she put on a nice face, not having a reason to be more of a bitch then necessary.

"I understand the struggle, but I really can't allow you to run around the city looking inhuman."

"But we barely get by, we can't afford glamour." said Beauty.

"Then I'm sorry, but you can't afford to live in the city. Nonhuman fables must move to the Farm."

"Ith noth my faut. Ith the curth!" With fangs unfit to the size of his mouth Beast could barely speak. It wasn't the first time it happened, every time they had a fight Beauty's love conquering his curse suffered and his physique slowly changed back to monstrous, beginning with fangs and horns. Good thing when she turned Bigby human it was never tied to her mood and they didn't have this problem. A moment, what?

"You're making it my fault. It's just that no one can stay blissfully in love for a thousand years." Snow surely couldn't.

"You can't afford glamour, can you find funds to pay for counseling?" She tried not to sound dismissive, though truly she was weirdly irritated by their problems. She got it, but she didn't like hearing about it.

"Since we lost money from the Crooked Man…"

"Most I can do is look into job openings for you. Beast can't leave this building until you work it out. And please, work it out fast."

Snow saw a glimpse of hope and gratitude in Beauty's eyes. Was she too easy on them? No, it was the right choice.

"Do you want more coffee, ms. White?" Blue asked between hearings.

Now that she had an assistant, she was losing an excuse to keep visiting the kitchen hoping to see Bigby. Not that they could talk freely there… Why exactly did she want to run into him since morning? To see him smile at her and catch some knowing look? That's it? She was fucked up, maybe they needed to take a longer break, actually. Not that she would be able to stay away from him for more than a few days.

"Yes, thank you."

Even when she was leaving Woodlands in the early evening her mind was stuck in one place. It would be great if she could stop obsessing over him for just a minute, so she could think clearly about it. Was she really that easily overtaken by affection because she had a few orgasms? Was he always this magnetic or only after he went down on her? Maybe she was just starved for human touch and that was it. Maybe it could've been anyone. But would anyone treat her like he treated her? He had a whole other, softer, caring side that she didn't know before, but now couldn't stop thinking about.

And right then was when she did run into him. As she was leaving the building, he was getting back to his apartment, or the greeted each other in front of Grimble as if nothing was going on. Maybe he did look at her in… a certain way, but she could've imagined it.

"Sorry for coming on such short notice."

"It's okay, Snow."

Since her promotion Snow had quite a good living situation, with an apartment provided by a government, not the one that her predecessor used to live in by her demand, but Briar's place was still impressive. Spacious, full of antics and most of all, very rich. They tried to use her fairy gift for substantial donations, but sadly money had a way of always going back to her and the city budget could not be sustained on it.

"I'll get us rosé."

The living room was dripping in luxury. Snow wasn't sure if the interior changed every time or she just wasn't able to remember all of the sculptures, paintings, vases and other expensive stuff. She took a seat at the marble table by the window and waited for the host and the bottle.

"I actually wanted to ask you for a favor," said Snow outright as Briar was pouring wine into the glasses.

"I thought so." Yeah, it must've been obvious she wanted something.

"It's…" now she suddenly had no idea how to word it. "Bluebeard discovered that I'm having an affair. I don't want to give him any opportunity to use it against me, so I would like you to make it so everyone who matters knows already before he tries to spin whatever story he's planning to. You can say you know from me, I don't mind."

"Snow, I think you underestimate how much fables are already convinced you're sleeping with Bigby. If you want to make it better, we might come up with something to get the public opinion on your side."

"I don't think that's doable."

"I wouldn't be so sure. You haven't been seen with anyone else… You're an ice queen that met her match. People can get behind that."

Snow wanted to say something, but her throat was tightened.

"Don't correct me, it doesn't even remotely matter if it's true."

"It's kind of true…" But it felt weird to talk about it.

"That's more than enough." Briar's expression changed. She got curious. "Aside from your PR, how is it going? I don't have to tell everyone everything, I'm just nosy."

"It's great. He doesn't seem like he would be so caring, but he is."

"He always seemed like he had a soft spot for you."

"I didn't notice that. I mean… maybe. I don't know."

"You don't know or you don't want to know?" Suddenly Snow felt like smoking a cigarette.

"For the longest time I was purposefully not seeing it."

"It sounds like there's a lot behind it."

Snow looked around the room instead of facing Briar.

"I'd say so. I… I don't know what's between us. When I'm with him it feels as if we're together, but I don't know."

"Maybe you are in love." Hearing that made her almost jump in her seat. Briar was unfazed by her reaction.

"I can't be in love."

"You can't talk yourself out of feelings." But by God, she was willing to try. Snow took a sip of wine. "Why are you so set on not being in love ever again?"

"I don't think that works for me. I'm just gonna be miserable in the end."

"You seem to already be miserable. And even if so, so what? Then you keep looking. I was also cheated on, even by the same man as you, and I've never had a relationship that lasted more than a few years - maybe I will someday find my perfect man, maybe I won't, but it was real every time. I would know, I was woken up by a true love's kiss more than once. When you have your heart broken you have to get over it eventually."

"I don't feel like it fits into my life."

"How do you know?"

"If we break up, I can't deal with that. I can't keep seeing him, and I can't quit, and I can't fire him."

"Why can't you deal with that? What would he do?" Actually, last time they broke up he did nothing.

"It would be uncomfortable."

"Then you would have to talk about it like adults."

"Maybe it's best to keep it like it is." How did she let the conversation get so personal? Normally, she wasn't taking any critiques on her status as a single woman married to her job. She wasn't even drunk on that fine French wine, it was all Briar's gentle tone and her mind tired of dancing around the subject.

"Are you happy with how it is now?"
"Maybe."

"That's not a 'yes' and barely an answer."

"I'm way happier than I was before."

"You need to decide whether that's good enough for you."

Snow was trying to watch TV in her own living room, but every channel was annoying or boring her. She knew what she wanted to do, but she tried to convince herself she was stronger than that. Would he even show up, when she was on her period? Bad question, of course he would. He showed interest in spending nights with her without sex enough times to clear any doubt. Still, she decided to not see him for a while, she should be able to hold on to that. It was probably a mistake to not go back to the office as soon as she left Briar's apartment so she could distract herself with work.

She just… fuck, she just wanted to cuddle with him, have him kiss her neck and put his arms around her making her feel like no one could hurt her. Fuck, shit, she wasn't even thinking about sex at all, if she was, she could make it go away with one of her vibrators. She recalled his voice as he was saying he only ever wanted her and she couldn't help but want to hear him say it again, and again with calm and resolve like it was the most obvious thing in the world. It was not… it was not what people who just casually have sex for fun fantasize about. And she could just call him and he would be there in a moment, because he cared.

Just what she got herself into? She didn't regret it, but… Fuck.

Bigby might not pick up the phone, who knows if he's still in the Woodlands? He might be anywhere.

He did pick up. Not from his apartment, where she called first, but from his office.

"Are you very busy?"

"See you in five."

He was at her doorstep within minutes. She reached to touch him, but before she could, he turned to close the door. He then smiled at her and she kissed him.

"I missed you," he said.

"I couldn't stop thinking about you," she confessed, not meeting his gaze. She knew how he must've been looking at her right now.

"I think about you all the time." She looked up, she was correct. There was that scary passion.

"I didn't call you for sex. I'm not in the mood for anything. I don't know why I called you, I just missed you." She stopped talking before she started to mumble.

"It's fine." He moved closer, putting his hands around her waist and making her forget she still wasn't sure what she expected when she called him.

"You weren't doing anything important?"

"No." If that was a lie, that was his choice.

"Let's get more comfortable."

She led him straight to bed, like many times before. She tried not to wonder what he was thinking about when she lay her head on his chest. Did it make any sense to him? Whatever, he could leave when she said they weren't going to have sex. Well, the last two times when she said that… whatever, she was thinking too much, nothing good came of it. Just useless stress.

She had a passing thought of telling him she talked to Briar, but actually she didn't want to summarize this conversation to him at all. And silence didn't feel awkward. Bigby didn't demand any explanation. He had this calmness about him, he wanted to be there as much as she wanted to have him next to her. It was nine p.m., why wouldn't he be in her bed? It was so normal.

Getting to hug him paradoxically was making it easier not to obsess over him. She found what was lacking, she could find peace. On the surface and only for a moment, but still it was something.

"I'm in love with you." Snow lifted her head in surprise to look at him.

"What?" She saw in a glimpse of his eyes it wasn't the reaction he was hoping for. How could he? But she said that without thinking.

"I know you won't… But I can't any longer pretend I don't feel this way. If you don't want to see me anymore, that's fine… I…" With every word he looked sadder and he just couldn't stop talking. She felt a terrible heaviness in her stomach and heat under her skin from who knows what part of this.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know what to say," she interrupted him. "I still don't know what to say, but I want to keep seeing you." Snow tried to use a softer tone and not show how scared she was. She might've succeeded in giving him some relief. She didn't intend him to be sad over this.

"I felt this way for a long time." He seemed most of all confident in wanting to say it.

"How long?"

He exhaled, almost like it made him laugh.

"I don't know. Maybe since I met you."

And he never said anything? There was something just… ridiculous about it. But it was also so serious. She wanted to say something back, but she had no idea what. Fuck, how did he never say anything? They were having sex and he never… Well, actually it was very plain to see in hindsight.

She got up from his chest and moved to a half-sitting position, he did the same, staring at her face. He was waiting for her to speak and she felt the weight of that.

"If you would've told me that a month ago it would be different, but now… I might not be ready to say it back, but…"

His eyes opened wide.

"But you might one day."

Snow took a moment before answering.

There were a lot of thoughts going through her head telling her she was making a mistake and showing her ways it could go wrong, yet she didn't have it in her to give in to overthinking right now. She was so tired of it. She came to a point when speaking what was true to her was easier than running from it.

"Yes."

When she saw him stupidly smile it made her just so plainly happy, she could not imagine regretting it.