A/N - Hi there everypony! Or I suppose it's everycreature now ;) I know it's been a terribly long time since I've been able to post, and for that I'm truly sorry. A lot has happened in my life in the past few years that have made it all but impossible for me to continue writing, including losing close loved ones and nearly being killed, but I'm finally back to a place where I can write and post! I hope any who are still with me, and those who find this after enjoy my new content! Since I have so many reviews that have posted since my last chapter, I'll only be doing a few responses here, but after this I'll try to get back to replying to all of them.
LacunaKimonoe - I am not dead, as a matter of fact. Though that was very nearly not the case, thanks to an inattentive SUV driver that put me in the ICU for almost two weeks.
1234andyguyen - He is still a human, they just call him by terms like that because it's what they're used to.
KvAT - Yes, the blueprint, at least for the hot tub, was created using feet as its measurements. But ponies don't use imperial measurements, they use metric. So when the builders see a number on a blueprint, they interpret it as meters. Which means that what was intended to be three feet in diameter becomes three meters instead
I couldn't help but get the feeling that Rainbow's offer was suspiciously sudden, but despite that, it didn't seem out of character for the athletic flier. It also put me somewhat at ease, as it meant things were finally going back to normal between us. I also had to admit that I was intrigued by her offer, but there were other things on my mind at that moment. "Sorry, Dash. I kinda promised to spend a bit of time with my family, to be honest.
Her look told me she was disappointed, but before she could offer up a proper response, I felt a little hoof tap me on the head. "We'll still be here, Daddy." Dinky's little voice floated down as if from on high as she spoke from my shoulder. "Go have some fun with Miss Rainbow Dash, we can play after." While she was Derpy's little sister, and not her daughter, Dinky had taken quite a liking to calling me 'Daddy', and I couldn't bring myself to stop her.
The sweetness of the little filly's words brought a smile to my face, and when I looked back to the rest of my family, I saw that they had returned the warmth of my smile with their own, practically melting the snow with their looks. "Go on, Sugarcube. Ah'm sure we'll all be fine while yer off havin' fun with Rainbow. Besides, ya gotta make time fer yer friends too. It can't just be about us." The rest of the gathered mares nodded their agreement with Applejack, and even Dinky and Scootaloo joined in, hopping off my shoulders to join the group… after unburying themselves from the snow they had plopped into.
Behind me, Rainbow Dash whooped and giggled. "Sounds to me like you're outnumbered, Blake! Come on, I'll tell you what I'm planning on the way." She turned, and started flying off, leaving me to chase after her while waving back to my family.
They did all have a point; if I wanted to maintain my friendships, I would need to make more time to spend with those friends, instead of spending it all with my family. I wasn't given long to think on this little revelation though, as Rainbow slowed down and let me catch up so we could talk. "Ok. So here's the plan. You're going to distract Pinkie Pie, and I'm going to give her something special to drink. Once she's downed as much as she can before she realizes what it is, we'll sit back and enjoy the show!"
It took me a moment to understand why she needed me there, but when I did, I chuckled softly. "I see. So you want me to keep her occupied so she doesn't realize that she's drinking something weird. Though speaking of which, what will she be drinking?" Something gave me a bad feeling, but I knew Rainbow well enough to know she wouldn't deliberately hurt her friends, so I shrugged the feeling off.
The pastel blue mare smirked, and shook her head. "That's a secret. Maybe after we prank her, I'll tell you what it is. Now, go find her while I go get the drink." Before I could reply, she took off with her signature rainbow trailing behind.
Once the lightning fast mare had disappeared off to who-knew-where, all I could do was look for Pinkie Pie so we could start putting this diabolical plan of Rainbow's into action. Fortunately, the bubbly party mare wasn't hard to find among the crowd, as both her cheerful voice and springing, bouncy mane were easy enough to discern in the populated party area. Seeing and hearing her bouncing through the streets, I hurried to keep up with the pink energy monster, which would have been no small feat even if I was a Pegasus.
Once I had finally caught up with her, I approached, hoping that Rainbow wasn't playing a prank on me by ditching me while I talked with Pinkie, having planned something with her instead. After all, it was little secret that the pink devil liked pranks almost as much as Rainbow herself. "Heya Pinks, cool party you threw for me." I remarked with a smirk. "Is everypony having a good time?"
Even as Pinkie bounced, she grinned and nodded. "Everypony's having super duper fun, Blake-y! And they're all glad you're ok too!" Her high-pitched voice was a little hard on the ears at times, but was also charming, much like the rest of the party planner, which oddly made her all the more endearing.
Fortunately, perhaps for both of us, Rainbow Dash appeared quickly, holding what looked like a small thermos, leading me to guess that she had planned to give Pinkie some spiked apple cider, like the accidental brew she had unsuspectingly drank herself the first time I had been in the hospital after Nightmare Moon attacked Canterlot. A part of me felt like I should stop this, but my curiosity got the better of me, and so I decided to wait it out, to see where things would go from here.
Of course, I wouldn't have had much time to react anyway, as Rainbow quickly passed the thermos off to Pinkie, who looked at it with a curious expression. "Oooh~ What's in here, Dashie? I bet it's something super yummy~" The pink terror unscrewed the lid, and took a sniff of the liquid within. As she did so, the fleeting thought of why Rainbow had needed me for this crossed my mind, but was quickly cast aside by another thought.
Thanks to the cold air and the hot steam coming from the thermos causing the scent-laden vapors to quickly disperse into the faint breeze, I soon got a whiff of what it was that Rainbow had given Pinkie, and my heart leapt up into my throat. "Dash, please tell me you didn't…" Before I could even react to stop her, Pinkie tipped up the thermos, and downed its contents.
This caused my rainbow-maned friend to go wide-eyed, and grab me by the shoulders, a strange look that seemed to be mixed fear and excitement in her eyes. "She wasn't supposed to drink that much! Hit the deck!" She cried out as we darted behind a small wagon loaded with hay.
All I could do was peek around the cart, and watch as Pinkie licked her lips. "Mmm! I don't know what that was, but it was tasty!" So far, there didn't seem to be any ill effects, though this could simply have been the calm before the storm.
Once again, I looked at Dash, who gave me a sheepish grin. "Why, of all things, did you give her coffee?" I knew this would likely be bad, but I wouldn't know just how bad until a moment later.
With a nervous giggle, she rubbed the back of her head. "It… wasn't just coffee… there was also that espresso stuff in there. Like, a lot of it. And sugar…" Her words only filled me with even more dread, and I was loath to look back at Pinkie, afraid to watch the carnage that was about to unfold.
My own, morbid curiosity got the better of me though, and slowly, silently, I looked around the cart. There was only a brief moment before I caught sight of Pinkie, even as Rainbow Dash clambered up above me to peek around the cart as well. At first, all seemed well, but then, something odd began to happen. Pinkie began to… twitch. And then she began to do what I could only describe as 'vibrate'. It wasn't long at all before she was doing both at once, her body moving faster with each passing moment. It was a terrifying sight, like she was having some sort of high-speed seizure.
Just as I was about to look up to Rainbow, and tell her to go find Twilight, or a nurse, or maybe a priest or two, Pinkie suddenly went still. She just… stood there, still as a statue. I honestly wasn't sure if she was still breathing or not. Above me, I could hear Rainbow Dash quietly begin to panic, rambling on so quietly that I couldn't even tell if she was saying anything coherent or not, and I looked up to her. Just before I could get any words of either comfort or chiding out, I wasn't sure which at this point, something caught my eye.
Looking back to where Pinkie was standing, the most terrifying sight of all entered my vision, though my brain refused to accept it; Pinkie's body was now translucent, and quickly fading away, as though she were a ghost. Above me, Rainbow shrieked, and darted over to where Pinkie had been standing, calling out to our friend, and swiping her hooves through the space that the pink party pony had previously occupied. By the time the lightning fast mare arrived however, Pinkie was already gone from sight.
Rainbow looked back to me with a panicked expression, but before either of us could say anything, another, feminine shriek came from somewhere off to my left. Both of our heads snapped to where the mare's outcry had come from, and the sight that greeted us was as perplexing as it should have been amusing. Just up the road from us, Octavia was pawing at the snow as she was dragged through it, digging all four of her hooves into the fluffy substance in a vain effort to stop her forward motion. The culprit of her distress was almost too comical to be real; somehow, the cellist's bowtie was spinning madly in front of her, pulling her along like the propeller of a plane.
Almost as though we had read each other's minds, Rainbow Dash and I looked to one another, and uttered two, simple words. "Pinkie Pie." A mere split second later, her high-pitched giggling could be heard, though it had a strange, ethereal quality to it, as though it were floating to us from another dimension. The sound made the hair on the back of my neck stand on end, and Rainbow Dash gulped as she looked around nervously.
It seemed that the whole town was erupting into chaos, and thankfully, Twilight ran up to us, a worried expression on her face. "What's happening?! What did the two of you do?!" She was understandably upset, as we watched random snowballs appear out of nowhere, and strike ponies all over town, too quickly and too far apart to be believed, among all sorts of other random happenings, including ponies' manes being inexplicably restyled, balloon animals appearing out of nowhere in front of foals, and even the flag above town hall being repainted with a big, smile-y clown face.
Rainbow Dash could only look around in stunned silence at the silly carnage as it unfolded, while I looked to Twilight, trying to keep my own wits about me as what was obviously Pinkie's handiwork continued. "I um… well, you remember that prank Dash wanted to play? Well… she apparently gave Pinkie coffee… a lot of coffee." I had fully expected Rainbow to retort to that, to be incredulous when she heard that I had essentially sold her out for causing this, but it seemed that she was lost in some sort of shock, and couldn't process what I'd said. "And now it looks like she's breaking Ponyville… and physics…"
I knew we were in trouble when Twilight's pupils shrank down to pinpricks, and her jaw practically hit the floor. "She did WHAT?!"
This caused me to flinch back, and chuckle nervously. "We didn't exactly know this would happen. I mean, how could we have?" I had a vague idea of it, of course, but I wasn't going to say as much aloud. It wasn't like I'd had time to act on the realization anyway. "And to be fair, I didn't know what was happening until Pinkie had downed the whole thing."
My bookish marefriend shook her head and sighed in annoyance. "Alright. I think I know how to fix this, but I'm going to need to cast a difficult and, quite frankly, morally dubious spell." She looked around at the ponies fleeing for their sanity, though none seemed to know where to flee, and hung her head. "I promised Princess Celestia that I wouldn't mess with time spells anymore, but it looks like I don't have a choice." Her horn flared, and a bubble of hot pink magic erupted from it, expanding to enshroud everything around us with Twilight's horn as the origin point.
Rainbow Dash was just starting to turn her head when the bubble struck her, leaving her face frozen in what looked to be a drunken state, with her eyes half closed, and her mouth open as she had attempted to speak right when time was frozen for her. Oddly though, I hadn't been frozen by the time spell, though it seemed that all of the rest of Ponyville had. I looked back to Twilight, who was panting lightly from the exertion of the spell.
She looked back to me, and wiped her brow with a booted hoof. "Alright, I excluded you from the spell's effects so you can help me look for Pinkie Pie. If my guess is correct, then the extra rush of caffeine in the coffee boosted her already insane metabolism to the point that she surpassed not only the speed of sound, but possibly even the speed of light. Which means that your assessment before was likely correct; Pinkie Pie is quite literally breaking physics right now, and we have to stop her."
With a nervous gulp, I looked around at all the ponies frozen in time. Some were in the middle of racing frantically around, trying to escape the hurricane of craziness that was faster-than-light Pinkie Pie, while others had selflessly attempted damage control. I even saw one pony frozen in time while trying to shovel snow onto what looked to be a burning barrel that had been full of ice cubes for making snow cones. Fortunately, I had learned better than to ask how Pinkie Pie of all ponies could have set fire to a barrel of ice.
"Hiya Twilight! Hiya Blakey!" The sudden voice breaking the dead silence of the frozen world caused both Twilight and I to jump in fright and spin around. "What happened? First Rainbow gave me that weird drink, even though it was really tasty, then everypony just kinda stopped moving." She giggled softly and grinned. "Ooh ooh! I know, this is some kind of game everypony is playing!" The two of us gaped in amazement at the sight that beheld us when we looked at Pinkie.
The crazy party pony looked… oddly normal, aside from a weird, pink glow that surrounded her. She wasn't slowed at all by the time spell, or rather, she was slowed to the point that she seemed to be moving at a normal speed to our perception. "Pinkie?" Twilight asked, almost as though she wasn't sure it was actually her friend. "How long have you been like this? Conventional physics says that time should have slowed down for you, and that we should all have aged quite a bit in the time that you've been like this." That thought had been on my mind as well, but I was still trying to process everything that was going on, and couldn't really formulate words at that moment.
Twilight's question simply caused Pinkie to giggle, and point at the sun. "How am I supposed to know that, silly? Even Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are in on the joke. See? The sun hasn't moved in forever." Twilight and I exchanged a look, and it was clear that neither of us had thought of that particular aspect of temporal stasis. "It sure does feel like it's been a long time though. I mean, this game was fun at first, messing with other ponies while they stood still, but I'm really lonely. Can we have everypony go back to normal now?"
All I could do was to look to Twilight and shrug lightly. "I don't know the first thing about time magic. I barely have a grasp of the simple things." I felt helpless in this situation, but I wasn't about to lie either.
It occurred to me to talk to Falathiel about a potential solution, but she was just as frozen as the rest of the town. I knew that because I couldn't feel the bond with her that was always a part of my mind, a change that made things inside my head feel quite lonely and quiet, despite the presence of Nightmare Moon.
Almost as though on cue, I heard the dark mare's voice inside my mind. "Listen well human, for communicating with you like this requires much of the meager strength that I still possess." My head tilted up slightly as it often did when I heard Falathiel in my mind, and I listened to what she had to say.
When Luna's darker half was finished speaking, I blinked, then turned to Twilight, who was practically babbling as she pored over every spell and bit of math and physics she knew in an attempt to help Pinkie, who was, for once, sitting quietly and watching. "Hey Twilight." I began, though she didn't seem to hear me at first. I repeated the call to no greater effect, then decided to try something new. "Hey Twilight!" I spoke loudly as I grabbed her ear and pulled it up and open, startling the purple bookworm back into reality.
It took Twilight a long moment of staring at me in confusion before she was able to compose herself enough to respond. That was likely due to the fact that the act was quite out of character for me, but time was short and I didn't want to waste any more of it by trying to be gentle. "Wh-what is it, Blake?" She asked somewhat dazedly as she rubbed her ear with a hoof, probably trying to clear out the ringing. "Sorry, I was really lost in thought, wasn't I?"
With a soft, apologetic sigh, I placed a hand on her head, and scratched between those velvety, purple ears like I knew she liked so much. "Sorry, Twi. I didn't mean to scare you, but you really were off in your own little world." I felt a strange sensation, like someone was elbowing me, but in my mind. "Anyway, to get to the point, Nightmare Moon thinks she has a way to get all this back to normal without breaking anything else."
Twilight froze almost instantly as she heard me utter Nightmare's name. "Blake, are you crazy?! Do you remember what she did to us just a few days ago?" The normally calm, rational Twilight took a menacing step towards me. "Don't think I didn't get it out of Aerith afterwards. I know what she did to my body, what she did to you. How could you trust her after something like that?"
I opened my mouth to reply, but before I could, Twilight's eyes went wide, and her ears drooped as she looked away with an expression that seemed to be one of shame. If one were to have asked for my guess, I would have told them that Aerith likely said something to the angry bookworm in that moment, though I hoped she had come to the realization on her own. "Oh dear…" She remarked with sudden sadness. "I'm not giving her a chance, am I? She's trying to make a change for the better, and I'm still being judgmental for the things she did in the past. That's not being a very good friend at all." She looked back to me, and sighed softly. "I'm sorry, to the both of you. I shouldn't have let myself get so angry. If she's still willing, I'd like to hear how Nightmare Moon had planned to help us."
The outburst had honestly been half expected, given everything that had happened, or at least the things I knew of, as I was aware that Twilight and the others hadn't told me everything Nightmare Moon had done before I arrived in this world. Still, I felt a small nudge at the back of my mind, and smiled. "I think she forgives you, Twilight. And as for me, there's nothing to forgive. I can understand why you would be slow to trust her, and even be angry at her." Despite her apparent ability to speak with me through an expenditure of her own energies, I hadn't yet figured out if I was able to speak mentally with the formerly evil mare as Twilight could with Aerith, and I could with Falathiel, though I could get a vague sense of what her feelings were when she wasn't exerting herself to form actual words.
With that all settled, I felt it was time to move on, and outline Nightmare's plan. "Anyway though, the idea that she had involves just a little more of your time magic. Basically, Nightmare Moon suggested that you take this time spell that you've already cast, and localize it so it only affects Pinkie Pie, and set it so that as her metabolism slows back down to normal… relatively speaking, the spell will fade away, so she can move around at a normal speed. Well, normal for Pinkie Pie, at least."
The look of shock on Twilight's face was actually fairly comical, and I had to suppress a laugh. I wasn't the only one however, and this was made known as a certain, familiar chorus of high-pitched giggles emanated from off to the side. I didn't even have to know that Pinkie was the only other one here with us in order to know those giggles belonged to her. "You should see the look on your face, Twilight!" She exclaimed as she practically rolled around on the ground.
Twilight's own expression showed that she was less than amused with the situation. "I don't think it's that funny, Pinkie." She remarked in a tone that was clearly one of mild annoyance. "However, that plan actually seems like a sound option, and I certainly can't come up with anything better, at least not without having more time to do research." As she finished speaking, a familiar, hot pink glow surrounded Twilight's horn, and I took a step back to allow the magic to be worked without interference.
Even though I only knew the very basics about magic, I knew enough to be aware that spells which could not be cast instantly, such as the levitation spell, required concentration to work properly, as well as an increased expenditure of energy, and that a complicated spell like this needed more focus and power than I imagined I was even capable of providing it, at least at this stage of my skills. Twilight had once described the casting of such a spell as being akin to balancing on the top of a flag pole with wind blowing all around you, while trying to cry out a lengthy, epic poem in a foreign language at the top of your lungs. It sounded exhausting, and so I made sure to stay well back, allowing Twilight to work.
A slowly spinning vortex of magical energy sprang up around Pinkie Pie as we both watched, though those blue eyes of hers were filled with decidedly more wonder than I could feel in my own. I imagined my own eyes likely reflected the nervousness I felt as the glow that had surrounded Pinkie when we first found her faded, replaced by a magenta aura of Twilight's own making.
The casting didn't take long, but Twilight's brow was still glistening with sweat by the time she finished, which I had no doubt was due to the combined exertion of the previous casting of the time spell, coupled with its second casting and subsequent alteration, which I had learned was also a difficult thing to accomplish. When it was finished, Pinkie Pie seemed just as frozen in place as the rest of the occupants of Ponyville.
Seeing our pink party animal of a friend in what was considered a 'proper' state for the circumstances, Twilight let out a sigh of both relief and significant fatigue, then looked to me. "Well, it looks like everything went smoothly. Are you ready to head back into the normal flow of things?"
Her question caused me to let out a soft chuckle, as the concept amused me. "Twilight, I'm not sure anything qualifies as normal in this crazy world."
My lovely bookworm giggled softly and smiled. "I suppose you have a point there." She remarked simply before lighting her horn once more, the sudden flash of her spell filling my vision as she set things back as they should be.