Hellllllll Yeah! I'm really quite excited about this fic, even if I've been pretty bad about posting it on time n all. It's a lot of fun, and I have alot planned and charted. I just need to get it on paper. Most of Anxiety is finished (The first arc) Although 1.4, 1.9 and the finale still need to be revised, which may take a while :( . Regardless, I hope you enjoy this series as a whole.
"Koto! Open up!"
My eyes fluttered open. Creasing as I sheltered my gaze from the light streaming in from my window. My head felt fuzzy, a little warm, and I snorted at the sudden comparison to drowning I drew.
Oop. Can't let mom know I thought that, she'd freak out. Again.
I was already dressed in my school uniform, as I had done yet another ill advised all nighter. This time to research transformation quirks. I brushed away a few crumbs that stuck to my shirt from the night before, hopefully mom wouldn't notice that box of pocky I'd smuggled in from the only nearby (and functional) grocher. I needed sugar, damn it!
I flicked away the crust of my eyes, and rose to check the mirror. Full length, of course. It was a birthday present that would suit me for the rest of my life. Under the current property laws, I had a significant claim to it too, so even if mom and dad died the police couldn't take it from me.
Even at a glance I could tell I'd done my buttons wrong. I fiddled them, fixing their one button off placement. Still, last night was quite fruitful! I had discovered that unlike most quirks, transformation quirks typically have a sort of inbuilt user manual. I had expected that, given their nature, of course - most people wouldn't suddenly start trying to transform themselves into a giraffe - but it was nice to see my theory pan out. Oop that's not right, my hair clips were off. HII? Seriously? Was I drunk last night?
"Kotoooo!"
Removing the one of the clips on the H and placing it at the end brought everything back into alignment. XIII. Thirteen.
I smiled at the mirror, flicking finger guns at my stylish reflection, ready to go Kotone!
Wait. Something's missing.
Honestly, I must've been drunk. Must've. There's no way I could've forgotten it otherwise!
My eyes darted around the room, looking for a glimpse of pink.
There!
I crouched down, throwing aside a small pile of clothes and fishing out a pink Walkman cassette player. Out of fashion nowadays, qI actually have to get nearly everything custom ordered to have this at all. It's super expensive, so it's more of a 'birthday only' kind of thing. It was annoying to hear, but apparently the quirk revolution ended up destroying a lot of relics like that.
I slotted it into my breast pocket and felt truly ready to go.
Ready to face the music, I opened the door and was immediately tackled by my best (only) friend, Kaina Tsutsumi. She was dressed similarly, the school uniform buttoned up, with a skirt going down past her knees and a few small adjustments for personalization that the school allowed: a small Allmight badge. She was still yet eight, and too young to really have the personality necessary for larger adjustments. Frankly, an Allmight badge was barely personalization.
"Koto!" She wrapped around me, far more excited than usual, even with her typical self being a fuzz ball and- that's freezing!
"Whoa! Your arm is cold, girl!" I pulled my back inwards instinctively trying to get away from the cold of her arm and felt bad when I noticed her pout at that.
Kaina leaned back from her hug, one arm still on my shoulder no doubt for the convenience of a second hug as her other went to her chest, "Yup!" She said, smiling proudly, "I finally got my quirk!"
Oh. Oh!
"That's great! Is it freeze arms? Arm? Ice related in any way?" Elemental quirks were coveted, she could get whole jobs based on having one alone, even if it wasn't relevant!
"Nope! Guess again." She said, hand waving my conclusion aside.
Hmm. Not ice related, but cold.
"Metal?"
Kina nodded, "Yup! I got a cool arm now, wanna see?" Heh. Cool, huh?
"Kaina." My mother said, laying a warning hand on my friend's shoulder, "Do it outside, ok?"
Oh. So it was dangerous huh? Yeah, no way my mom would let us do something like that indoor, "We should probably listen to mom, Kaina. "
"Momma's girl." Kaina teased, crossing her arms. Honestly, what a hypocrite, she liked my mom just as much as I did. She turned, jogging down the stairs two steps at a time, "Come on!"
Whew. It's good that Kaina finally got her quirk, being a late bloomer, eight by this point, she was getting really worried. I was also technically a late bloomer, but not really. I had my quirk. I just didn't have anything it needed. My mind was barren. A cavernous maw that prowled around my every move, the nothing it conveyed endlessly chipping away at me.
I mentally looked away, shivering at the cold dark I couldn't keep from my mind. Shaking hands reached for the door, shutting it. They stayed there for a moment, as if guarded from the pitch black of a too empty mind by the cold metal of the door knob.
Suddenly beside me was Yukari, her soft features slouched against my shoulder on the couch as a TV show played mindlessly in the background. The easy decor of the dorms gave no mention of my emotions, and the moon above, not visible, yet present all the same, hung knowingly above. I breathed deeply through my nose, taking in the scent that would be so fleeting in a moments time, letting myself sink into delusion.
Home. Yukari. Strawberry and wildflowers. No Dark hour. Just two people who were beside each other.
"Kotone-musume."
My head whipped aside, hands sticky with sweat. My mother. "You're hallucinating again, you told me it was getting better!"
"It is." I urged, finger still beside me, "It is, I wasn't lying!"
"You need to be honest with me, I thought the meds were working!" She shouted, glaring at me, lips heavy with tried arguments.
"They are!" I said, "I told you, they are." Was this it? Would this be when the boot would finally drop?
She sighed, shoulders slumping, "Kotone-musume. We'll be getting you a stronger prescription soon."
I didn't say anything. Couldn't. Nod. Move on. Easy. More medication. I knew it wasn't true, but medication always felt like a violation. I didn't want them but my parents gave me them.
Kaina was right, I am a mama's girl.
"But…" she started, a smile softening her features, "For now, let's head out? Kaina's already outside waiting. She's quite excited."
"She's always excited." I said, thinking of her wild smiles. She had reminded me of Junpei since I met her, "Got any spoilers for me?"
"She's going to show you it herself! Be patient, Kotone-musume." She said, starting to descend the stairs. At least as I jogged down behind her, there were no new complications to my day. My hallucinations weren't nearly as frequent with my medication, but it still wasn't enough. Why hadn't I told mom about something so important?
I didn't have to think to know.
I was always restless after I medicated. I wasn't feeling it much now, since I hadn't taken my meds for a few days, just thrown them into the trash. These movements were just habits, swift, economic movements, that carried me across my home.
The downstairs was recently cleaned, a state it maintained perpetually by my mothers courtesy. She had calmed down about it when she realized that Kaina coming over to our house was going to happen very often, nearly every day. Nonetheless the house was quite cleansly. Really, it was typical of a home in Japan, but my mother was near obsessive about it.
We passed the kitchen and my eyes caught on the sticky note mom kept about everyone's Allergies, happy to see it included Kaina's as well. Mom always said we were family.
I had her memorized, of course, Kaina was allergic to certain pollens, mainly, but also had a slight allergy to copper.
The door opened, to the cautious streets outside the apartment, and my smile stiffened, reminded of modern Japan. It was worse than what I had come from, Apathy Syndrome included. People here were so afraid, the streets weren't barren, per say. But unless a street led specifically to your destination, you weren't on it. Me and Kaina were the only kids in the area who went on walks, or played outside. It was dangerous, but I'd protect her, with or without personas at my side.
Kaina was waiting outside, and hurried us over, dragging me by the hand, "You won't believe my quirk!"
"Well you'll have to show me it sometime then." I stumbled after her, hand pulled out infront of me by her cold one.
She looked back at me, unamused by my behavior, "We're doing that right now!"
"Ah. Silly me." I snorted, "You're right, as always," I leaned forward, kissing the hand that held mine, "Lady Kaina."
"Hmph!" She exclaimed, yet unable to hide her giggles, "I'll pardon you this time! But it better not happen again!"
Oh, perhaps it was queen Kaina, then, "Well then, your majesty. You've something to show?
"Yes I do!" She let go of me, and ran out into the middle of the street. There wasn't anyone else here right now, I was quite certain, so whatever she was doing wasn't going to be seen.
She held out her hand, and.., what the heck?
It had unfolded.
A rifle, undoubtedly. She reached into her hair, and I winced as she tore out a bundle. She played with it, molding it like putty to create a long, oddly pointed bullet, which she slotted into a hole in her hand, "Ready?"
"Ready." I shot her a thumbs up.
She pointed her hand down, and, belatedly I realized I hadn't brought earmuffs.
There was a short, muffled crack and a bullet drove itself into the pavement. Impressive power, but much more notable was how quiet it was. Probably below 50 decibels, around where human speech sat. Practically a movie silencer. I wonder if she can make it louder? Then again, it occurred to me that movie silencers might be a much more real thing here in general.
Quirks are bullshit, and bullshit does good work.
"So?" She looked at me, eyes shining, "Did you like it?"
"Sure do." I say, glad to see her smiling so widely. She'd been so distraught over not getting a quirk and I was worried about her future.
"I haven't even shown my parents yet, but I'm gonna tomorrow morning."
This time my frown was open, Kaina's parents were not good for her. And anyone could tell they'd be unhappy with her quirk. I mentally prepared myself for at least one night of crying.
She ignored it, already used to my gripes with her parents, and mother laid a hand on my shoulder, "Alright, girls. It's time to go to school."
"I'll grab my backpack real quick."
—oO0Oo—
School started the same as always. Kaina's mom knew the superintendent so we'd gotten into many of the same classes together.
All in all, it was fairly… easy. Math was hard, history was not, P.E was far from it. I had no qualms with the general doing of work, the main challenge was just getting myself to actually do basic multiplication knowing I had better things to do. Quirks, specifically, fascinated me. But they were nonsense and nobody seemed to understand that.
'It's just genetics'. Oh really. Allow me to sprout a foldable gun arm literally overnight. Oh and my hair can be turned into a moldable putty I make into bullets but they're as hard as steel outside of my hand. Primer? Can I eat that?
People were a little silly about things sometimes, but that's how it is.
As an eight year old (Sort of) I didn't have to worry about that level of quirk studies. No, right now they were drilling into us some basic quirk history. Mainly on the quirk revolution, the period of significant anti-government activity following the advent of quirks. Namely in The USA, Russia, Denmark, and Ethiopia. Class was almost over, and I felt a little excited. This was the last class of the day, and soon the homeroom teacher would come back and ask Kaina to show off her quirk a bit so everyone can celebrate it.
The history teacher wrapped up, and said goodbye, letting us wait for our homeroom teacher, Yukia-sensei.
"Kaina," I leaned over, whispering, "You feeling excited?"
She turned to me, grinning widely, "I was worried this would never happen, Kotone! Of course I'm excited!"
The door slid open, and Yukia-sensei gave Kaina a look. She shook her head, "Well that certainly sounds promising! Kaina why don't you come on up, I heard you have something to share today?"
Kaina nodded, rocketing out of her seat and over to the podium, "I got a quirk!"
There was a cheer of congratulations. Quirks had become akin to Christmas in the Americas, or Coming of Age day here in Japan. It was a holiday, the day you got your quirk. It made no sense to me, as it seemed likely to cause social division. Why would a government encourage this? Not everyone in the class even had a quirk. About 55% of the population had one, although among ages 1-12 it was closer to 70%. Maybe they figured that soon enough everyone would.
"Well, do you wanna show us?" Yukia-sensei placed a hand on Kaina's shoulder, "I'd love to see it."
Kaina nodded, and her arm unfolded.
I braced myself.
"I call it Rifl-"
"Stop!"
Yukia-sensei. I sighed, and frowned, glancing at the broach on Yukia-sensei's chest, a cross in two circles. I had expected this. Yukia-sensei followed a budding cult, called the Tenth Advent. It was a branch of Christianity denounced thoroughly by even the pope. They believed that a quirk was a message from God, showing the true form of the person who wielded it. For instance, if you had a quirk which involved an inherent level of violence, you were a violent person.
To be honest, I couldn't really blame Yukia-sensei, nominally. It was a gun, after all. But it's not like kids with other dangerous quirks didn't get to share theirs. So, in the end it was obvious she had some bias here. There was a kid who could use his fingers as a propellent for anything. Just tap it and boom! Easy way to shoot a rock through someone skull, but he was chucking things left and right without a word from her.
"Put that away, Kaina-chan." She stammered, her hand lain firmly on Kaina's unfolded arm.
The kids around the class were quiet, but clearly confused. Kaina was looking straight at me with a face I wasn't happy to see.
"Yukia-sensei!" I raised my hand, "Kaina hasn't even shown us anything yet!" If she still denied it, and she would, my words were intended for Kaina, then I'd complain to the principal. Schools should not have cultist teachers. She was one of the less evangelical members of her movement, but that didn't really excuse her of anything.
She looked at me, eyes soft with pity, "N- no, Kotone-chan. Kaina-chan, sit down."
She did, hurried steps stiff as she stared at the ground. Only moving her face to keep me from seeing it. I didn't need to.
The day ended, and Kaina had avoided talking all throughout. She spent that time doing homework dutifully, and I was asked about the matter by numerous concerned teachers and students. Kaina was usually fairly loud and had left many good impressions on the staff and student body.
"How was the day?" Mom asked from the front as we shuffled into her car. She flicked on the radio, over to some pop band.
"Not good." I said, ignoring Kaina's indignant look beside me, "Yukia-sensei told her to put away her quirk before she could show it."
Mom nodded, eyeing me from the rearview mirror, "I see." She said, and I believed her. She talked often about how she disliked Tenth Advents, "Her mouth is a disaster."
Kaina blanched, likely she hadn't yet heard anyone badmouth a teacher like that. What she didn't know is that mother was quite the badmouther. I had heard many of my mothers long rants as she glared out the window to the house across from ours.
"Don't worry about what she says, Kaina," I pat her shoulder, hopefully she'll figure this out quick. And maybe then she'll know her parents suck. They were Tenth Advent too, after all, so it was unlikely they'd show her much support. Then again, most abuse works off the notion that the abuser is inherently trustworthy.
"I'm not worried about her…" Kaina said, soft eyes staring at me from her seat.
Oh! She's worried about her quirk then, probably. Kaina was technically Tenth Advent too, after all.
"Like I said, it's not something to worry about." I waved my hand in a gesture far more confident than I felt, was I right? Wrong? I'd know eventually.
"Mhm." She hummed.
When we shuffled into the house, me and Kaina flopped onto the couch together. Mom went straight upstairs, having probably decided that Kaina needed time to just mess around.
I brought up the remote, flipping to Kaina's favorite channel. Basically every kid's favorite channel. Not mine.
Hero!TV.
I wanted to scream when I saw who was there. An interview with The Hero himself, All Might and his ridiculous America shtick. I sighed, if there was one hero to be scared of, it was All Might. He was, as far as I could tell, head and shoulders above every other hero in the business. Stronger, faster, and more durable.
And he was sooooo heroic.
It was a huge pain, but Kaina would love it.
"Can you tell me how you feel about being the number one hero?"
"It doesn't matter if I'm number one or number one thousand!" He shouted, flexing his zeusian physique, "Because-
There was a scream, and All Might disappeared, "-I AM HERE!"
Kaina was smiling next to me, "Do you think I could do that?"
"Hm? What? Shout 'I am here' at the top of your lungs?" Who couldn't? It was a serious wonder that Allmight's catchphrase was so popular. A Serious wonder that any hero's catchphrases were so popular.
"No!" She complained, "Be a hero."
I never quite knew what to do when Kaina talked about being a hero. I was… perturbed by the idea. But it was Kaina's dream, and I'd support her all the way.
"Of course." I huffed, waving aside her concerns, "You're bound to be a good hero."
I felt her shift beside me, head shaking when I looked, "I mean like I was shining?" She reached aside, pulling the blinds. It wasn't dark enough yet, but when she looked out, voice so distant, I knew exactly what she was seeing.
"I don't see why not" I lied.
A/N: Please God I welcome any critique. AO3 users are genuinely terrified of saying anything not positive so I barely ever get anything from them. This piece is a lot of hard work, but you can only improve so much on your own.